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INTJ's friendly banter after being (assumed upset) aloof/running out of social battery

Entp: Are you okay?

Intj (me): Did you bring something... like tokens... or food... to accommodate me to "FEEL" better?

Entp: ....

Entp: .... are you sick?

Intj: You're sickening. **Literally my conversation this morning

Things INTJs hate

Talking on the phone

#intj life #intj problems #intj arguments #intj thoughts #INTJ #intj things #intj probs #introvert #introvert probs #introvert life #Introversion

INTJ in an argument like...

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When I have an argument with someone I don't usually talk about it: I tend to wait for things to fix themselves or for the other person to fix them and eventually, if they don't, I just let the whole thing go. Is it normal for an INTJ?

We’re not so good at the social stuff, so I could see this being a common avoidance strategy.

Can’t fix problem by self.

Wait for other person to fix.

Still not fixed?

Accept that problem won’t fix so either ignore it or exit relationship.

This works fine as long as you can move on and ignore the problem. However, if it’s festering below the surface and constantly causing you stress whenever you interact with this person then you need to address it more directly.

#ask #ask intj #intj #intj relationships #intj arguments #avoidance

Sometimes Silence is Best

Trying so so hard not to get into a flame war with someone. It's one of those times when I could completely destroy a person's arguments, but they're being so illogical that they wouldn't even notice and would just reply with more of the same, making any further correspondence a complete waste of time. Still, difficult not to reply.

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I was wondering how do other INTJs deal with being in an argument where your feelings are compromised and being discussed. If I can't detach myself , it's like my mind shuts down, I refuse to share anything and even feel attacked by the other person

I imagine this is how most Feeling types see arguments. I know my INFP can have issues detaching and tends to take things personally that aren’t meant to be personal. It can happen to us too, it just takes a lot more to get us going. Usually someone has to hit a topic that we care very deeply about.

If I get so angry that I’m shutting down then I need to remove myself from the situation. Otherwise I’ll say something I’ll regret, or the other person will say something that will make things much worse. The problem is our Fi. We feel very strongly about things but we can’t always put our finger on why, so actually articulating our feelings can be very problematic. The more strongly we feel the worse it gets.

Excuse yourself if you can, and say you need time to think things over. Then take your time. Days if need be. You’ll run the argument over in your head, which can be both good (you’ll hopefully get a handle on why you feel the way you do and be able to plan a verbal response) or bad (if you still can’t detach and your arguments remain illogical).

It also helps to get an impartial opinion from someone you trust. They may or may not take your side, but they can help you see the other side of the argument (hopefully) even if they don’t agree. Sometimes it’s the person making the argument that really gets our backs up, so hearing it said differently from another source may help put things into perspective.

#ask #ask intj #intj #intj arguments #arguments #introverted feeling #shutting down