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~ Bible Wichapas Sumettikul black nail era
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Now on my store ♡
“Anyone with eyes...”
Here it is guys the moment we have all been waiting for thank you so much @irenedrew your pictures turned out so so beautiful and I’m so excited to be able to SEE my story alive like that. Collaborating has made this extra fun and I hope everyone who reads this story and sees your art is as excited as I am!
This story is for the prompt
"I really want to see the Captain of the Desus ship, Rick, get fed up with the non-movement of the sip and call all hands on deck to get it sailing."
Ill include an AO3 link if that’s your preferred format otherwise read more!
http://archiveofourown.org/works/10849887
Please do not repost, link to another site, or remove water marks from Irenedrew’s work without her consent!!!
Wednesday:
4:30 pm,
Rick’s house.
Rick stood against the mantel of his Alexandrian home with his arms folded. The core of his group, his family, was beginning to disperse after wrapping up their regular Wednesday meeting before dinner. As Daryl crosses the room in front of him Rick watches the way Jesus eyes trail after Daryl. He sits in his place beside Maggie on the couch appearing to manage listening to her at the same time as he tracks Daryl. His eyes land on Rick briefly before darting back to Maggie no doubt he feels the steely blue gaze that still lingers on him. Rick wasn't worried about starring He wants Jesus to know he is looking at him. He needs Jesus to linger after the meeting so he can talk to him and Rick is pretty sure that Jesus will get the message.
Rick had been watching this now for months. He saw the lingering looks Daryl gave Jesus when Jesus was too preoccupied to notice. He saw the way Jesus looked at Daryl all the time, seeming to enjoy the flustered response Daryl gave him or otherwise unconcerned when Daryl didn't notice. Rick had hoped if he just left things alone Daryl would come around in his own time but something Daryl had said to him recently was still bouncing around in his head and it became obvious Daryl was going to need a bit of a push.
Monday:Earlier that week.
Noon,
Rick’s house.
After getting back from a run to find clothes for the ever growing population of children, Daryl stops in Rick's kitchen to drink a glass of water. He leans heavily on the light pink marble counter, tipping his head back and gulping down two full glasses allowing driblets of water to escape the sides of his mouth before slowing down to take smaller sips of the third glass. Rick approaches him cautiously. He had been meaning to talk to Daryl this entire run. It was the reason he had suggested they go together in the first place. He hadn't been going on runs as often since the war ended, his efforts were needed elsewhere, besides Jesus, Daryl, Aaron and Tara were always willing to go. Rick sighs and looks hard at Daryl, accepting that it was now or never. Daryl beats him to it.
.
“What cha got on yer mind?”
Daryls low rumbling voice doesn't sound hesitant like it did when he first got back from the sanctuary. He had never talked much in the first place but after being held captive he said even less and what he did say sounded empty and lifeless. It still sent relief flooding through Ricks body everytime he heard Daryl sounding like his old self. Losing Glenn has been hard but feeling like he had lost Daryl while he stood right infront of him might have been just as painful. Jesus had rescued Daryl, a debt Rick will never be able to repay and that was when Daryl and Jesus first started spending a lot of time together. Somehow they are always within spitting distance of each other, when looking for one you could just find the other. Over those months Rick saw how Jesus slowly managed to get a smirk from Daryl, a huff of air that might be Daryl's laugh, a playful shove or a lazy swat of the hand that Jesus had no trouble dodging. Rick has never seen anyone reach Daryl as quickly as Jesus. He is certain that his brother has feelings for the bearded scout. He thinks now might be a good time for one of his signature Rick speeches. They almost always work on Daryl.
“I was thinkin’ ...”
Rick drops his gaze before rolling his eyes back up and giving Daryl a quirked eyebrow.
“You and Jesus seem to be gettin’ pretty close.”
Daryls shoulders tensed and he lets his hair drop over his eyes while he lifts a thumbnail to nibble on.
“So what?”
Drayls grunt comes out even more mumbled around the nail caught between his teeth and Rick sighs placing his hands on his hips. At least Daryl wasn't denying anything yet. Before Rick can finish sucking in a breath Daryl cuts him off.
“No. nuh-uh.”
“What?”
Rick asks sheepishly.
“Yer gonna do the speech thing. Ya got yer hip cocked an everything’”
Daryl walks around the kitchen island making a B-line for the front porch but Rick jumps in front of the doorway just before Daryl can pass through it. Their chests bump and Daryl takes two long steps back before pacing back and forth reminding Rick of Ezekiel's tiger Shiva.
“Just listen alright?”
Daryl snorts sending some of the wispy hairs on his face fluttering.
“Ya aint givin’ me much choice are ya?”
Rick grins devilishly.
“Exactly. I just want you to know that yer ma brother and I want to see ya happy. And you do seem happy around ‘im. No One here would judge you. Life ain't just waiting fer the next war Daryl. The next Governor, the next Grady, the next Negan. That's what you do. You wait, you help us move on but yer always the first one ready when the fight breaks out ‘cause you never stop. The war is over. Negan is locked up. We’ve got trade deals with four different communities. This is the new world we are building. You can relax.”
Daryl who has been pacing this entire speech whirls around on Rick. Leaning into his space. He doesn't raise his voice. Daryl never raises his voice anymore. Now where he once would have shouted he speaks in a low harrowing tone that sends ice down your spine.
“Relax? I ain't gonna Relax. At the Prison we let shit settle and then we watched Hershel's head roll off his shoulders. Out with Beth we relaxed, sang some damn songs, tried to feed a dog then she got took. Relaxin’ is how people die. ‘Sides it ain't like that. Jesus he don't, we ain't”
Daryl trails off shifting uncomfortably in front of Rick before shoving his finger back between his teeth. Rick understood now what was holding Daryl back. All the people alive today can relate to that. The fear of letting people in, of being really happy, knowing that at any moment the rug could get pulled from under you.
“Daryl, what will you regret more? Never tryin’ or gettin’ what ya want and losing it? Yer alive. Yer still here. Ya still get to try. What would Hershel say? What about Beth? Don't ya think they would want you to be happy?”
Rick knows it's a low blow using the dead against him like that but he needs to make Daryl understand. He needs to reach him. He tries to do it with just his gaze now as he waits for a response. Daryl stares at Rick just shaking his head once as an answer. Rick lets out a long sigh again, squeezing the bridge of his nose. Maybe talking to Daryl first wasn't the right choice after all, it was only making him certain that he wasn't done being involved, and Daryl was going to shut him out. Its best to communicate to Daryl in your actions whenever possible. On top of that this time his speech was too unfocused. Rick had to go and try to talk it out with him but he isn't saying the right thing. He is getting frustrated.
“Look. I won't make ya do anythin’ but anyone with eyes can see you have feelings for the man. You don't just cozy up to new people everyday. ‘specially not people who steal from ya the first time you meet. Didn't you try to kill Dwight at least 3 times?“
“Was different”
Daryls grunt only serve to make Rick roll his eyes.
“Yeah ‘cause Dwight don’t have that pretty hair am I right?”
Daryls posture goes Rigid and his face flushes red.
“I dunno the fuck yer on abou’”
Rick isn't trying to push Daryl he just can't believe how oblivious he seems to be. He has a sharp eye, can read people in a second, he is bright even though Daryl would never agree with Rick about that.
“Oh come on Daryl. He looks at you the same way you look at him. Ya must have noticed that by now.”
Daryl is vibrating with energy his fists balled at his sides.
“He can do better.”
He checks his shoulder into RIck pushing him back just enough for him to slip through the doorway and out the front of the house before Rick regains his balance. Rick drops his head and rests his hands on his hips looking at the door swinging closed. That had not gone as well as he’d hoped.
Wednesday:
5:00 pm
Rick’s house
It is just Maggie, Jesus and Rick in the room now. Maggie is talking with her hands mapping out whatever she is describing and Jesus follows with his eyebrows pulled together in concentration. Rick hesitates interrupting them. Maggie had taken on a lot of responsibility at Hilltop and making the trip every Wednesday to be in this meeting must get in the way of her other responsibilities since she always seemed to be working something out when she came.
Ultimately Rick decides to approach the pair. Jesus, Maggie and this time Daryl will all be heading back to Hilltop at sundown. Night travel had recently been reintroduced after the war had ended and the Walker population thinned. Daryl had stuck around Alexandria after last weeks meeting, Aaron and Eric had convinced him to visit for longer by using Judith, they knew Daryl had a soft spot for her and they kindly pointed out that she missed him now that he lived at Hilltop. With dinner about to start this might be the last chance Rick has to talk to Jesus before he and Daryl are out of reach for a week.
Rick comes to a stop standing by the sitting pair drawing Jesus’s attention first. He gives Rick a meek smile folding his hands delicately across his lap a gesture Rick recognizes as his “Jesus” persona now. He slips it on when he is unsure or being cautious about a situation, it would seem like a tell, except that once the persona was up you had no idea who he was. You couldn't tell what he was thinking or predict what he would do. That's what gets Maggie's attention. The shift in Jesus. She glances up and gives Rick a warm smile when she recognizes him.
“This was a great meeting Rick, I think the water irrigation is gonna make a big difference in the crop yield, thankyou for sending those materials back with us.”
“What's good for the Hilltop is good for Alexandria”
Rick locks eyes with Maggie and they communicate much more than they say. She's family and with his family Rick doesn't have to say much. Rick clears his throat and shifts onto his other leg.
“I was actually hopin’ I could have a moment with Jesus if you could spare ‘im.”
Rick notices the way Jesus eyes flick between them as they talk. Jesus is observant but Rick would bet that Jesus has no idea what Rick wants to talk to him about. Jesus steps forward and places a hand lightly on Maggie's shoulder. His hair brushes the shoulders of his green sweater as he does.
“Go on to dinner I’ll catch up with you.”
Maggie gives him a closed lip smile and squeezes his shoulder in return before nodding at Rick and heading out the front door. Rick turns to Jesus and finds two large inquisitive eyes patiently trained on him. His voice is smooth and reassuring something Rick doesn't have but has made due without. Rick thinks Jesus knows he could lead if he only wanted to. Tucking his hair behind his right ear Jesus cocks his head and addresses Rick directly for the first time.
“How can I help you Rick?”
Rick hasn't exactly panned what he will say. So he just starts the same way he did with Daryl.
“So you and Daryl have been gettin’ pretty close.”
The tips of Jesus ears turn pink and in a fleeting flash he pulls his hair over them looking at the ground before his calm Jesus air resettles around him and he looks at Rick again. It was so quick it could have slipped by if he hadn't come to know Jesus better.
“We have.”
“Daryl is ma brother. When Negan took him ….”
Rick swallows a lump in his throat before continuing.
“I wasn't right then. I couldn't help ‘im. I shoulda been the one ta go get ‘im, been a better brother than his real one ever was, I didn't though. You did. Thank You for gettin’ him back. Not just from the sanctuary, but after. Bringin’ him back to himself.”
Jesus’s mouth is hanging open slightly his already large eyes wide open. He looks at Rick completely speechless a pinkness creeping across his cheeks. He maintains a casual air nonetheless.
“ I- I was just there, in the right place at the right time.“
“No, you made a choice.”
The two men stare at each other silently for a long moment before Jesus starts to shift glancing at the room around him probably mapping out his exits for the 100th time.
“Daryls a good man.”
Rick brings Jesus’s attention back to him. He continues.
“He doesn't think it but he is. One a the best men I’ve ever known. I’ve leaned on him as often as Michonne and for longer. If he were ta get hurt, If anyone at all was ta hurt him I would be very angry. I can be unreasonable when I’m angry. Rash. ”
Jesus narrows his eyes at Rick folding his arms against his chest and straightening his spine. He is a small man, at least a few inches shorter than Rick, but he knows better than to underestimate Jesus.
“Are you giving me the shovel talk Rick?”
Jesus voice is still soft but there is a steal in his eyes that suggests he isn't thrilled about being threatened, there is something else there too, something like amusement. Rick hadn't intended for the conversation to go this way. He meant to encourage Jesus. He was trying to push these two idiots together but somehow it had turned into a protective dad speech. Rick pinches the bridge of his nose reminded of his attempt at talking to Daryl. He just wants to grab them by their shoulders and shake them.
“Anyone with eyes can see there's something going on.”
Rick tries to turn it around assure Jesus he noticed the chemistry but as he watches Jesus’s eyes narrow he knows he did not succeeded.
“You have nothing to worry about Rick. Daryl is straight.”
Rick snorts.
“As a hula hoop.”
Jesus smirks a twinkle in his eyes now.
“You sound pretty sure of that.”
Rick nods his head yes looking at the ground before it dawns on him that he is feeding Jesus answers. He looks back up quickly to see the end of Jesus coat tail pass out the front door. Rick stands there staring after Jesus completely blindsided.
Sunday: Where it began.
7:00 pm
Aaron and Eric’s house
Rick had suspicions about Daryl's sexuality for a while now. It had never seemed important enough to ask about so he hadn’t. That was fine, it worked. That is until Jesus came along. Now Rick is dying to know if he's losing his mind or his brothers perfect match has just shown up. To Rick it's the most obvious thing he's ever seen and he can't understand why no one else is talking about it. After Daryl quickly befriended Aaron, Eric, and Denise while refusing to interact with anyone else from Alexandria's original residents Rick had shrugged and said it was just a coincidence. Now, with Jesus around and Daryl actually showering regularly he finally decides to ask. Not Daryl of course. That would have never gone over well. Rick talks to Aaron, asks him if Daryl had mentioned anything about it, if all he learns is that Daryl has been confiding in Aaron it might tell him all he needs to know. If Daryl is going to get relationship advice from somebody Rick thinks it would be Aaron. Aaron of course told him that if Daryl had said anything he wouldn't be at liberty to say. Eric who is sitting on the couch reading and listening, chimes in very casually.
“ But he sure does love making goo goo eyes at that Jesus.”
“Eric!”
Aaron tosses a sandal at Eric saying his name disapprovingly.
“It’s just an observation sweety. Not a violation of his trust. Unless you're suggesting he talks about Jesus.“
“Eric! I swear to god I’ll never rub your feet again.”
Eric rolls his eyes and turns back to his magazine mumbling under his breath as he does.
“I’m sorry I have eyes.”
Rick snorts before pushing off the wall he was leaning on and heading towards the door. So it isn't just him. Other people can see there is something there between the scout and the archer.
“Well I think I have my answer.”
Aaron looks visibly worried as Rick starts backing away.
“Don't say anything to him Rick. You know how closed off he is. If he doesn't tell you himself and you know it's gonna freak him out.”
Rick nods thoughtfully reaching the threshold of the house.
“Well like Eric said, I have eyes.”
Wednesday:
5:15 pm
Rick’s house.
Coming out of his thoughts Rick realizes he needs to talk to Aaron and Eric again. He is in over his head and has struck out talking to both Jesus and Daryl. He decides to find time before next week's meeting to talk to the men. The trouble is Rick just did exactly what Aaron told him not to do.
Wednesday: One week later.
2:00 pm
Aaron and Eric’s house
Rick doesn't find time until a few hours before Jesus, Maggie, and Daryl are expected to arrive. He knocks on the frame of Aaron and Eric’s open door before he enters, like usual he finds Eric reading and Aaron tinkering with something mechanical on the table. They both look up as he enters.
“Rick, to what do we owe the pleasure?”
Aaron stands up going to the sink to wash his hands. Hospitality is a strength Aaron and Eric share, which is exactly what Rick kept reminding himself as he avoided this all week.
“I need yer advice.”
Rick waits one hip cocked standing between the two partners as they exchange a look. Eric looks excited Aaron looks nervous.
“About what?”
Eric asks this time. Rick takes a deep breath.
“I talked ta Jesus n’ Daryl.”
Eric drops his book and stands immediately. Aaron turns the sink off staring hard at Rick.
“You what?”
“Rick No!”
Rick scratches at his beard tossing his head to the side remembering the conversations from last week.
“Yeah, I did.”
Aaron makes a displeased groan but Eric steps around the coach too invested to stay so far away.
“Okay, well there's no going back now. So what happened?”
Erics eager eyes roam Rick's face hopefully.
“Ah, well Daryl said there ain't nothin’ goin’ on and that relaxin’ is how people die. Worst was he said Jesus could do better. Jesus… well..”
Rick trails off unsure how to describe the conversation he had with Jesus. Eric is hanging on the edge of his seat waiting for Rick to continue. Aaron is approaching slowly drying his hands on a towel with a pinched expression on his face. Rick pushes air out through his nose before the words sort of tumble free.
“First I thanked ‘im for gettin’ Daryl back... Then I threatened ta hurt him if he hurt Daryl, then he said not to worry ‘cause Daryl was straight and I kind a said he ain’t.”
“Rick!”
Aarons face is horror struck and Eric has a hand cupped over his mouth and nose the other on his hip. They both speak at the same time. Eric saying
“You threatened him?”
Was lost under Aaron saying
“You told Jesus, Daryl isn't straight? Rick why would you do that?”
“I didn't mean to, I didn't realize he didn't already know ‘till after I said it. Then he was just gone. He Ninja’d outta the room ‘fore I even figured out what was happenin’.”
Rick watches Aaron walk over to the couch rubbing his face with his hands before gingerly sitting down.
“Daryl is never going to trust me again.”
Rick feels a pang of guilt hearing that. Eric swoops in quickly standing in front of Aaron and pulling his head against his stomach.
“Oh hush, if we can get that bone head to stop ignoring his feelings he might even thank you and it's not Rick's fault, Jesus is a slippery one.”
Eric looks up and over to Rick.
“Take them on a run. Daryl gets claustrophobic behind walls. If you're gonna get through to them it's gonna be out there.”
Rick nods his head. That is a great idea if he had them both together and alone they would have no choice but to deal with each other. There would be nowhere for Daryl to run off to. Rick did know that Daryl likes to venture outside the walls to think things over but it hadn't occurred to him to take him out there for this; it might be easier on him. It is a good observation Rick knew talking to Aaron and Eric would help. Other than Rick, Aaron and Eric saw Daryl the most they knew him almost as well as Rick did. In some ways better even. A shout from the gates gets all of their attention.
“Rick Grimes!”
Rick darts out the door into the bright mid afternoon sun shielding his eyes when he hears Maggie call for him but as soon as he makes it into the street and sees the pregnant woman marching towards him he freezes. She looks furious. Michonne who must have opened the gate is chuckling with Rosita when Rick stops dead in his tracks. She slides the gate back into place but Rick couldn't keep watching because Maggie was right in front of him now. At least he knows this isn't a life threatening issue since Michonne is laughing.
“Maggie, it's good to see you.”
Rick tries to sound casual but Maggie still looks furious as she grabs him by the bicep and tugs him towards his home two houses down.
“We have to talk. Now!”
Once inside Maggie closes the door and turns on Rick with fire in her eyes and wild hair.
“What did you do?”
She demands without giving any context. Rick twists in his posture before stammering a response.
“What? I? I dunno Mag’s what did I do?”
“You did somethin’! You ask to talk to Jesus last week and since then I haven't been able to get him and Daryl in a room together without them fightin’ or one of them running off. It took me months of pairing them up to get them where they were and now you went n’ ruined it all. Jesus says you gave him the shovel talk? You can't be serious Rick. You gave Jesus the shovel talk.”
Rick sighs frustration mounting. Why had he gotten himself involved in this. He had just wanted to see Daryl happy and now he was buried in a mess and feeling the wrath of Aaron and Maggie. He had not been as close to Daryl as those two over the past months and he was starting to realize what a disadvantage that had become.
“I just wanted ta help! They have been pining after each other like a couple a dumbasses and I just thought if I talked to ‘em they might actually do somethin’ “bout it. I wasn't even tryin’ ta give him the shovel talk it just happened.”
Maggie scoffs and throws her hands up.
“It just happened? You didn't think about talkin’ to me before sendin’ me back with a couple of oversized children? They have been bickerin’ and avoidin’ each other ever since then. I know you didn't just talk to Jesus, what did you say to Daryl. He won't tell me and I can't fix this if I don't know.”
Rick really is desperate for some help. He hadn't meant to make such a mess of this.
“I told Daryl it was okay to relax. Told ‘im we all just want him ta be happy.”
Maggies temper seems to be fizzling out.
“Is that what you said to him? What did he say? Why is he so upset, I’ve said things like that to him before and he ain't never acted like this petulant child.”
“He said Relaxin’ gets people killed. I told him anyone with eyes can see he's got feelings for..”
Maggies screech cuts Rick off before he can continue.
“You What?! Rick! You did not tell him that. No wonder he is avoidin’ Jesus. Anyone with eyes? Are you serious, what is going to make a closet case like Daryl freak out more than thinkin’ he's that obvious?”
Rick hadn't even thought about it that way. He remembered Eric saying he had eyes to Aaron and hadn't considered what it would sound like to someone as shy as Daryl. Suddenly Aarons scolding made more sense. Eric called it like he saw it but Eric getting away with that is different. It's just him. Rick pinches the bridge of his nose.
“ Eric said it. I repeated it. I didn't think.. Shit Maggie. “
“Shit is right. Just because Eric can say it don't mean you can. You and Daryl are really close Rick but your relationship don't work like theirs. You could really hurt Daryl if yer not careful ‘bout how you say stuff like that. He gives a shit what you think of him. I’ve worked hard to get those two bone heads together and you just undid months of work. I could strangle you. Jesus was miserable all week. Daryl wouldn't even look at ‘im for the first 3 days.”
This is starting to feel like Highschool all over again. Rick has gotten himself in way over his head.
“I’ll fix it! Okay? I was gonna try and take ‘em both on a run. Get ‘em outta here and get ‘em ta talk.”
“ No way! You've done enough damage Rick.”
“Look I won't say nothin’ ‘bout them being obvious. I’ll just get ‘em somewhere so that they’ll be stuck talkin’ to each other. They will have ta sort it out. “
Maggie chews on her lip still glaring at Rick with her arms crossed resting on her baby bump.
“And what about you, what will you do?”
“I don't know. I’ll figure it out. “
Maggie studies Rick hard for a long moment and Rick holds his breath.
“Fine but if they come back and you ain't got them on good terms I'm gettin’ Michonne to kick your ass for me. I'd do it myself if I wasn't pregnant.”
Later that evening after the meeting wraps up and people are beginning to stand once again Rick locks eyes with Maggie. Operation:Leather boyfriends is set to go. That was a name Maggie had already come up with for her plan before Rick stumbled right into the middle of it and he thought it was fitting, if not a bit on the nose. Maggie nods to Rick once before quickly grabbing Jesus’s attention and stopping him from following Sasha out. Rick quickly scans the room finding Daryl already nearing the door on his way out. His heart jumps knowing he needs to keep his part of the plan running smoothly and prevent Daryl from running off.
“Wait up! Daryl.”
Rick calls out taking a few light jogging steps towards the fleeing figure ahead of him. Daryl pauses scuffing a shoe before turning to face Rick. He nods his head towards Rick in acknowledgment his eyes darting to where Jesus is further in the room over Rick’s shoulder. Rick almost smirks but catches himself.
“I'm going on a run tomorrow morning. Gonna be a day's travel there and a day back, camping out for a night. Thought you might like to get out for a bit.”
Daryls shoulders relax while he thinks on it chewing on his lip for a long contemplative moment before he nods at Rick again.
“Yeah sounds good. You talk to Maggie?”
This was going exactly how Rick hoped it would. He is having trouble keeping from acting over excited. This needs to be discussed as a run like any other or else Daryl will run for the hills.
“Yeah I talked to her first. She's headin’ back in the morning, we need ta go that way so we will stop off at Hilltop n’ head out from there.”
Daryl nods again fidgeting with his bandana and stepping to leave.
“A’ight.”
Daryl slinks off towards dinner and Rick finally lets his smile break through. Maggie is a devious woman and her plan to get them on this trip is going to work. Rick is filled with nervous excitement. He has no way of knowing how exactly this will play out but he has a good feeling about this plan. Rick looks back and sees Maggie is glancing his way every few moments. He quickly makes his way over to them giving them a closed lip smile and starting phase two.
“Jesus good ta see ya, Mags”
Rick nods at both of them. Jesus has a suspicious squint to his eye as he looks at Rick.
“Rick”
A name is all he offers as a greeting. Maggie smiles big and warm grabbing them both by the shoulder.
“Well boys, the baby is gonna crack my ribs if I don't get ‘im fed soon. He's kickin’ up a bigger fuss than a cornered pig.”
Jesus lets out a breathy chuckle at Maggie's words and looks fondly after her as she exits. His eyes lazily flick over to Rick, his face expectant. His hair is tied up at the crown of his head a few pieces having fallen loose at some point. Rick tries for a moment to see Jesus through Daryl's eyes. He is a very pretty guy with sharp features and bright eyes, Rick thinks, as far as men go, Jesus is good looking. He takes a deep breath. This is going to be harder than talking to Daryl. Rick just didn't mention Jesus would be coming along knowing that Daryl wouldn't ask questions but that would never work on Jesus. Rick has no choice but to shoot from the hip just invite Jesus and see where it goes.
“Jesus, I'm goin’ on a run. Days trip out, camp for the night then head back. I could use ya on it. Yer quick, quiet, plus more eyes is always better.”
Rick watches Jesus digest his offer. He hums softly looking up at Rick through his eyelashes.
“and who else is going on this run Rick?”
There it is. The question. Rick itches at the back of his neck.
“Just me ...n’ Daryl.”
Rick smiles sheepishly at Jesus whose eyes watch him knowingly.
“and did you already talk to Daryl about it?”
Jesus makes Rick feel like a child who's missbehaved. He sighs heavily tapping the heel of his boot against the ground as he shifts his stance.
“Sort of. He's goin’.”
Jesus lets out a big breath there is a noticeable shift in his attitude, the playfulness melting away as seriousness sets in.
“Look Rick. I don't know what you're angle is but Daryl doesn't want to go on a run with me. Especially not a two day run. He hasn't talked to me in a week. “
Rick can tell Jesus knows he had been involved in why Daryl was avoiding him. Rick gives up trying to navigate this conversation. There was no use pretending he could hold his own in a game of words with Jesus, he has a way of seeing right through you while keeping his own cards close to his chest, if Rick tries to prevent that it would just drain all his energy. He knows when he is beat. So Rick just decides to lay it all out. Fold his cards.
“I'm sorry ‘bout that. Was my fault. I'm trying ta fix it. You gotta go on this run with us. The whole point a this is ta get him to deal with his feelings. I know I probably sounded like a real ass last week but I was tryin’ ta tell ya ta go for it.”
Jesus’s eye brows are pinched as he keeps his hands unnaturally still, folded palms up in front of his stomach. Rick thinks he may never have had a more personal conversation with Jesus. Most of their interactions had been preparing for the war against Negan and the Saviors.
“With all due respect Rick, you can't make Daryl want to date me. As flattered as I am that you think I would be good for him, knowing how important Daryl is to you, it won’t change how he feels. You can't fix that.”
Jesus has his arms crossed and his eyes look vulnerable. He is obviously feeling exposed by this conversation but he isn't telling Rick to leave and so Rick takes that as permission to continue. Rick takes a step closer feeling like this was to private to be said at full volume.
“ Paul, Daryl cares about ya. I know it. Because I know him. He's just scared of bein’ happy he has more reason than most a us for that. The other day I talked to him ‘fore I talked to you, he said you could do better. He's got it in his head that yer too good for ‘im.”
Jesus’s arms fall loosely for a moment before he pulls his hair out of its bun shaking it loose and running a hand through it. He rubs at his face making a few attempts at speaking before finding the words.
“That's a lot to take in. Rick. I don't know what you think is going to happen. Even if you're right and he thinks of me that way if he doesn't want to let me in it doesn't matter. I won't make him talk to me.”
Rick nods his head thinking it out.
“Sometimes, Daryl needs a little push. I know you ain't known him that long yet but he would still be sleepin’ in a tent a football field away from the rest of us if it weren't for Carol goin’ out n’ pushing him to open up. Hes stubborn as all hell and He dont make the first move in anythin’ but a fight. This will work. If we go out in the woods we start a fire and I wander off. Maybe I go ta sleep or go get firewood but I'll make sure you get a chance to just try and talk to ‘im. Out there where he's more comfortable and got nowhere to hide. All the time I’ve known him there ain't been no one I could see him happy with ‘cept you. ”
Rick watches Jesus hopefully. He looks reluctant to accept but as time stretches Rick starts thinking more certainly that the answer will be yes. Jesus eyes him again hesitantly this time from behind his hair with that same pull between his eyebrows.
“Rick you've never even asked how I feel about him.”
Jesus points out, his voice soft . It's obviously a weak attempt at avoiding this impending confrontation on their run tomorrow. Rick chuckles. He remembers telling Maggie he wouldn't talk about how obvious these two are and stops himself before it slips out again. Instead he says.
“Well Jesus, how do you feel about ‘im?”
Jesus’s face twists and a pained sound passes his lips. He pulls his arms back across his chest shaking his head back and forth and giving a barely audible answer.
“I don't know.”
Jesus has his eyes trained on the floor so Rick steps forward gripping his shoulder and peering down into his line of sight.
“Hey. The two a ya were on Negan's personal hit list. Doesn't the fact that ya both made it through the war say something? You aren't done yet. Neither of you. You still get time.”
Jesus smirks now following that with a wispy half hearted chuckle, he looks up at Rick with a slight wetness to his eyes. Rick isn't sure so he asks.
“What's funny?”
“Something I said to Sasha, it's a long life; and then it isn't.”
“Exactly!”
Rick feels that hope from before returning and then Jesus and him are both smiling and Jesus shoves Rick's hand off his shoulder.
“Alright alright. I'll go but I want it on record that I thought tricking Daryl was a bad idea.”
“We're not trickin’ him we are just ignorin’ his wishes.”
“You’re right that’s so much better.”
Rick chuckles before leading Jesus out towards dinner.
“Well it's for his own good.”
Thursday: Show time.
5:00 Am.
The gates of Alexandria.
Jesus sits in the back seat of the car that Rick has pulled around for their run. The car is sitting behind the gate turned off to conserve gas while last minute preparations are seen to. Maggie is talking to Daryl in hushed voices by the trunk as Rick approaches to head out.
“All set?”
Rick asks making to take the driver's seat. Daryl eyes the cars lone occupant through the back window.
“Yeah.”
Daryl seems put off and Rick isn't sure if this is just what Maggie was talking about before, Daryl being crabby all week, or if it is something else.
“Everythin’ alright?”
Maggie smiles at Rick rubbing her hands across her belly absentmindedly. The fabric of her floral blouse hangs loosely where it can't be buttoned any further over her baby bump, instead there was the stretched fabric of her tank top to cover her.
“Yeah we are just fine. I was just tellin’ Daryl here that I checked your supplies for ya and that we can head out as soon as you're ready”
Rick locks eyes with Maggie. She must have stopped Daryl from going through the trunk and noticing the extra supplies for Jesus. Rick feels a nervous twitch start in the pit off his stomach.
“Great. Let's head out.”
Rick quickly ducks into the car ready to just go and get this over with. When they arrive at Hilltop Maggie is going to hop out quickly and Rick is going to pull away before Daryl has a chance to react to Jesus’s continued presence. It wasn't guaranteed to go smoothly but Rick is hoping Daryl will take the silently brooding path rather than say anything. Daryl hesitates outside the car as he sees Maggie move to the passenger seat. When he climbs into the faded gray interior he aims to sit as close to the door as possible leaning his head into his arm against the window. Rick looks at Jesus in the rear view mirror and catches him glancing at Daryl shoving his hair behind his ears and adjusting his scouting gloves. Rick really hopes he isn't being overly optimistic about how this trip will go.
After two hours of completely silent driving Rick pull’s the Sedan up to the gates of Hilltop. It is still early in the morning since they had left just as the sun was rising. Rick squeezes Maggie's hand over the center console and she squeezes back just as Rick brings the car to a stop.
“Have a good trip boys!”
Maggie turns around and smiles big and bright at Daryl who looks startled for a moment before he gives her a nod and leans forward to bump his hand into her shoulder briefly. Maggie looks mischievously at Jesus before jumping out of the car much faster than any pregnant woman Ricks ever seen before. As soon as the car door latches closed she's pounding on the roof laughing and chanting
“Go Rick go!”
So Rick floors it into the turn heading back down the road a bit before he can turn off and start on his way for the run. He realizes as his adrenaline pumps that he is still going to be in the car with these two for a while and driving away fast isn't going to keep him from that. Rick looks up to his mirror to see Jesus has pulled his beanie down over his eyes and is leaning his head back as if he is sleeping, Daryl is glaring daggers into the back of Rick's head. Rick can feel the waves of agitation rolling off Daryl and he is sure that Jesus feigning sleep is more of a response to that than any actual fatigue. Daryl knows now that he has been set up and that Maggie was in on it. Rick takes comfort in being able to drag her down with him if Daryl gets really upset. With Daryl's angry glare still on him Rick reaches into the glove box and pulls out a CD. He figures there's no way he can make Daryl’s mood any worse and he knows that Daryl secretly likes when Rick singings along even if he says he has shit taste in music.
“No, Rick!”
“Hmm?”
Rick pretends not to hear Daryl as he slides the disc in. A country western song starts blaring through the speakers and Rick hits the steering wheel in time with the boot stomps as the twangy whisky voice comes in. Rick knows every word to this song because it's the only CD he has in this car he looks at Daryl again and starts singing along. Rick notices that Jesus’s head is turned towards the window so that his huge grin is hidden from Daryl. Rick smiles as he sings thinking he will get these two to cheer up and chill out by the end of the trip.
Rick tries a few times to start up conversation but Daryl refuses to acknowledge him at all and Jesus offers short responses that make it obvious he is only responding because he feels he has to. Rick doesn't let himself get discouraged he doesn't need anyone else to talk he can just talk to them anyway. As they were nearing the area they will be camping out in Rick decides to talk about the real reason they are on this trip instead of the random chatter he has been maintaining for a while now.
“Daryl.”
Daryl doesn't respond staring out the window like Rick isn't there. Rick cleares his throat and uses his business voice this time.
“Daryl look at me or I’ll pull this car over.”
Daryls eyes flick to Rick and back to the window before finally settling on a place just past Rick but in his general direction. Rick holds in his sigh.
“I’m sorry if I upset ya the other day.”
Daryls eyes make a panicked flick to Jesus who is sitting up and watching the both of them now much to Daryl's dismay.
“Can ya not.”
Daryls deep voice is a relief after hours of listening to his own voice.
“No we’re gonna sort this out. All of us.”
Rick locks eyes with Jesus and can't help noticing that the man looks a little pale. Rick continues speaking to both of them now.
“The two of you can't be avoiding each other. Yer our best scoutin’ team, two a our strongest fighters. You work well together.”
Rick refrains from saying what he thinks they work well as. Jesus leans his head back and for a moment Rick thinks he is going to go back to faking sleep but he leans forward again quickly folding his hands and resting his elbows on his knees. Daryl watches him from the sides of his eyes.
“Rick, you're right but I still don't know that the best way to get that is to treat us like children in time out.”
Ricks feathers are ruffled by that but he bites his tongue because Daryl snorts something like a laugh. Rick thinks if they can unite against him then at least they will be United in something. He turns down a dirt road nearly hidden by overgrowth so long after the turn. He slows the car down as it jostles on the uneven ground. The sun is beginning to set so Rick turns on the headlights to see more clearly in the dark of the wooded road.
“Well I'm sorry for that too then.”
Rick comes to a stop in a clearing. He pulls the car to the side and turns it off.
“Tomorrow morning we walk about 2 miles to a small town ta check out their clinic. It was about to open when everythin’ went ta shit. It might still be well stocked on medicines. Some that we sorely need.”
The men in the back seat just nod. There is a heaviness in the air. Anticipation not for the run but for what comes first.
“The two a you set up camp, I'll be right back.”
With that Rick gets out of the car and walks directly into the woods leaving the scout and the archer sitting in the back seat. Daryl and Jesus look to each other Daryl wearing a confused look on his face while Jesus just looks tired.
Rick circles around the clearing going through the brush until he finds what he's looking for. On the top of the hill that sits to one side of the clearing, hidden within the foliage, is Maggie with a pair of binoculars. She has two folding chairs, blankets, a basket full of snacks, and a rifle propped against her knee.
When they had made this plan Rick had chosen a long path to get here so that Maggie would have time to beat him here and set this up. When Maggie hears Rick approach she stand pulling her knife from her belt. When she sees it's Rick she puts her knife back and pats the chair next to her as she sits again. She has to lower herself slowly, the size of her belly getting in the way of her usual grace. Not nearly matching her quick escape from the car earlier today. Rick hurries over reaching to help her settle and taking the binoculars that Maggie has outstretched towards him.
“ What are they doin’?”
Rick is already trying to find them in his sights. He finds Jesus sitting on the hood of the car his Beanie having been removed at some point. He is watching Daryl fuss with a tent. Maggies voice filters in like narration while he spies on the two men in the clearing.
“Well Daryl is tryin’ to set up that tent and failin’.”
“But Daryl can set up a tent with his hands tied behind his back.”
Rick doesn't understand what could be the problem. Maggie is laughing and when Rick looks over he sees she has pulled out another pair of binoculars for herself.
“Jesus hid a few pieces of it and I think he is waitin’ for Daryl to ask for help.”
Rick is grinning, This is already turning out to be very interesting. He just wishes they could hear what they were saying so he says as much.
“ I dunno, I think watchin’ them is a bit of an invasion of privacy already.”
Rick nods. Maggie is right. He leans back into watch them.
The Campsite: Jesus and Daryl
Sundown.
Daryl growls kicking the side of the dingy, faded, red tent as it tips over again. It stirs up some dirt and dry leaves when it lands.
“Maggie said we was all set to leave, didn't mention the tent is missing pieces. Shoulda checked it myself.”
“It was all there when we left, I packed the trunk. I’m sure it's all here somewhere.”
Jesus leans back so his shoulders are resting on the car's windshield, lazily tucking his hands behind his head and gazing up at the canopy of trees. He is completely unbothered by Daryls very apparent frustration.
“It ain't hear I’m tellin’ ya.”
“Would you like some help?”
Daryl stops what he is doing and looks at Jesus the cocky grin on his face cluing Daryl in suddenly.
“You little shit. Where is it? “
Jesus laughs tossing Daryl the two pieces of the tent he had tucked in his pocket and motioning under the car where the missing pole was stashed. Daryl crouches down getting on his hands and knees to reach the pole groaning as he stands back up when his knee screams for him to take it slower. He ignores it and gets the tent constructed in less than 2 minute after.
“I dunno why you always gotta fuck wit me”
Daryl says while standing back and admiring his work. He could have done this on the first try if Jesus hadn't gone and hid shit. Jesus leans forward again more serious than before.
“I just wanted you to talk to me again. You’ve been ignoring me all week. The car ride too.”
“I aint ignoring ya.”
“Daryl.”
Jesus voice sounds unamused. Daryl shuffles before turning to the center of the camp site to build a firepit. He needs to start working on getting some light in the camp site before the sun is completely gone. He doesn't answer Jesus for a long moment so the scout hops down from the car and approaches him. As he nears, Daryl nervously spits out a change of topic.
“Where is Rick anyway, said he would be right back.”
He can feel Jesus still where he stands behind him.
“He isn't coming back. At least not for a while.”
Daryl stops what he is doing straightening his back and looking at Jesus who has his hands on his hips and a patient look on his face. He pushes the panic down.
“The fuck ya mean?”
Jesus looks a little guilty and crosses his arms over his chest a gesture that Daryl recognizes as one of Jesus nervous habits.
“I mean Rick is intentionally not here right now. He wants us to talk.”
Daryl paces around the fire pit he started constructing waving his arm roughly at Jesus when he speaks.
“You in on this? Everyone trying to trick the dumb Redneck now?”
Jesus face softens.
“No Daryl. That's not..”
“What? you expect me to believe you ain't in on this, how'd ya know Rick wasn't gonna come back? that he wants us to talk? Yall planning this shit.”
Jesus steps towards Daryl his hands up palms out. His eyes imploring Daryl to trust him. Daryl takes a couple deep breaths trying to keep his head clear. Something Jesus had been helping him do at night when he woke from his nightmares hyperventilating and sweating. Jesus watches Daryl carefully he thinks he has gotten better at calming him he thinks he has learned how to get passed Daryl's feral self defense but whenever it's put to the test he starts to doubt it.
“Daryl, I knew about the point of this trip but it wasn't my idea. I still don't even know why you’ve been avoiding me. Rick just asked me to come on this trip and he can be pretty convincing when he wants to be.”
Daryl still looks upset but he nods at the comment about Rick. He knows first hand how convincing Rick is when he wants something.
“You still went along with it.”
Daryls voice has less venom in it now. He isn't mad at Jesus. He isn't even mad at Rick though he is going to have words with him about this whole trip.
“He didn't even ask me untill after you had agreed to go. He sort of cornered me into it. I wanted to say no but...I also missed you.“
Daryl feels his face heat at Jesus words so he turns back to the fire and starts standing sticks against each other pilling dry leaves in the center between them. Jesus takes his gloves off and places them in his trench coat pocket before kneeling down and stacking loose rocks around the edges of the firewood Daryl is stacking. Jesus peeks at Daryl through the sheet of hair that's hanging over his shoulder.
“I went along with it, you're right. Do you think I shouldn't have?”
Daryls hands still before he stands up hitting his hands against his pants. He chews on his lip then squats back down and joins Jesus in stacking the Rocks around the edges. His nervous movements don't bother Jesus. He’s used to the restless ways Daryl deals with things. It's been a long silent moment and Jesus is concentrating diligently on stacking rocks. Giving it much more attention that it really requires trying to be patient while Daryl decides how to say whatever it is he wants to say. Jesus knows if he waits he will get an answer but the anticipation builds anyway the more time pases.
“I think Rick woulda got cha here anyway. Maybe knocked you out and stuffed ya in the trunk.”
Jesus laughs now nodding his head. He is relieved by the way Daryl seems to be taking this odd situation in stride.
“You're right. That man finds a way.”
It's quiet again but not awkwardly so. Daryl manages to get the fire lit so Jesus turns back to the car's trunk to pull out the camping chairs. He takes a moment just moving things around in the back of the car steeling himself for what he is about to say.
“Daryl?”
“Mm?”
“Can we talk? About whatever's got you upset with me? “
“Ain't nothin goin on.”
“So you were avoided me all week for no reason?”
“I said I wasn't avoiding ya”
“And I’m not stupid.”
When Jesus says that Daryl takes a deep breath. This was going to suck. He was not good at talking things out.
“I didn't say you was stupid.”
“I’d have to be to believe that nothing has changed and that you weren't avoiding me.”
Daryl sits in his chair pushing his forehead into his palms with his elbows on his knees. He feels something nudge his arm and when he looks Jesus is handing him a flask. They sit side by side in their folding camping chairs. Daryl’s the same ugly shade of red as the tent Jesus in a army green version with cup holders. The fire a few feet infront of them is doing a good job of keeping the chilly bite of night air tolerable. The sun has finally fallen completely and the buzzing sounds of the woods at night fills the air.
“This part a Rick’s plan too?”
He asks as he takes the Flask from Jesus and tosses back a big swig.
“Nope, this was my genius idea. Rick told me I was going to be coming on this trip and I figured I could use a little liquid courage.”
“What you need courage for, s’just us.”
Jesus ducks his head when he hears “us” he can't help how much he likes the way that sounds coming out of Daryl’s mouth.
“You always tell me you aren't good at talking about stuff. Well I’m not either. Not personal stuff at least.”
“Whats personal about this?”
Jesus sighs leaning back and taking another sip. Daryl fascinates him. His direct approach to things and his refusal to make assumptions.
“You are really gonna make me work for this aren't you?”
“I don't know what yer talking about.”
Daryl wants to keep his hands busy but he has nothing to do, no arrows to clean, no animals to skin so he just wraps and unwraps a loose thread from his jeans around his finger.
“Does that usually work? Pretending you have no idea what's going on until people give up trying to talk to you?”
Jesus doesn't mean that as a jab he is genuinely curious wanting to understand why Dary, someone who can clearly read between the lines, refuses to accept certain things no matter how many times he is told or how clear Jesus makes it. Daryl just grunts. He didn't intend to do it, turn away from things he didn't want to accept. For a long time he refused to accept that he could be Rick's right hand man. He shied away from the way people looked to him in the group as Rick's second in command he didn't mean to run from it then, it just happened but just like Carol did then Jesus picked up on it right away. He shared that quality with Carol, his ability to read people and an adaptable personality. Daryl starts to realize that he can't get out of this. Just like he never could with her. He feels a bit of sweat starting to prickle his neck. Jesus rolls his eyes handing Daryl the flask again and bringing an entire bottle of Jack Daniels out of his trench coat. Daryls eyebrows shoot up.
“Flask wasn't doin’ it for ya?”
“No, clearly it wasn't.”
Jesus temper sounds a little short but his gaze is on the flames in front of them and the only sign that he is upset is the tight way his hand grips the bottles neck.
The Lookout : Rick and Maggie
Rick and Maggie share a bowl of stale cheese popcorn as they watch the two men in the clearing set up camp together. Rick lowers his binoculars looking over at Maggie.
“The alcohol was a great idea. I didn't even think about givin’ ‘em somethin’ like that.”
Maggie scrunches up her eyebrows and shakes her head.
“That wasn't me, I thought you gave that to Jesus.”
Rick grins and laughs picking his binoculars backup and leaning forward but doesn't take his eyes off Maggie.
“That sneaky little devil calls himself Jesus but he swiped that from the pantry.”
“ I don't blame him, we basically locked him in the closet with his crush and told em they weren't comin’ out till they kissed.”
Rick has to hold his sides as he laughs. He looks fondly at Maggie who looks so much younger when she smiles. Rick thinks back to where they met on the farm it seems so long ago but it was really only a year ago or two maybe. So much can happen in that amount of time in today's world. Rick looks back to the men in the camp, he hopes that they realize that and can stop fighting a good thing.
The Campsite: Jesus and Daryl
“What did Rick say to ya, ‘bout why we was going on this trip?”
Jesus looks over at Daryl but he doesn't answer. He just sips directly from the bottle in his hand and stares.
“What?”
Dary asks his heart rate is spiking. He knows what he talked about with Rick and he was damn near crawling out of his skin then. He doesn't know how he will handle it if that's what Rick talked to Jesus about. He doesn't understand why his brother is meddling. Why he can't just let Daryl be. He wanted to explain to Rick why he isnt any good for Jesus but he wouldn't listen even if Daryl had the words and if Rick went to Jesus for the same reason Daryl is gonna strangle him.
“I don't know if I should tell you.”
Daryl stares at Jesus, blue eyes locked in a tense challenge.
“What ya mean?”
“Well I’ve asked you twice now why you have been avoiding me. You refused to answer. I don't know if I should tell you what Rick said to me. It might be the perfect bargaining chip.”
“Always gotta have an angle”
Jesus pulls his feet into his seat and tucks the bottle between his crossed legs as he turns his body to look directly at Daryl.
“If you want I’ll just go sit in the car. I’m not going to make you talk to me. I told Rick as much.”
Daryl hesitates a moment. He doesn't want Jesus to go. He had missed him too in all honesty but he also was terrified of this. He had been fine when he was just hanging out with Jesus in their trailer over the last few months telling himself he could just ignore his feelings. Shove them down so deep that they could never surface. After talking to Rick last week he couldn't get it out of his head. Rick had said anyone with eyes could see he had feelings for Jesus and suddenly he was hyper aware of everything. He could feel how often he looked at Jesus .It was like he was magnetically pulled to his side. Always wandering to stand next to him or sit beside him, like his feet were moving before the thought even registered in his mind. He could see everyone else noticing it and he felt like he had a neon sign over his head that read Gay. He had never talked about his sexuality with anyone in his family. Never needed to. Suddenly it seemed like everyone knew already and Daryl didn't know how to deal with it. Jesus is still watching him and he looks as though he is about to get up and go do exactly what he said. His nerves had been on edge as soon as he offered to go off and leave Daryl because as honest as he had been when he said it he really didn't want to do it. He moves to stand up when Daryl finally speaks
“ Dont. you can stay it's just…”
Daryl hangs his head. He is going to have to tell Jesus whats going on to find out what Rick told him. His mouth feels dry and the burn of whisky doesn't help that but it does make him feel a little more bold. This is his third shot and Daryl thinks he may have become a light weight since the days of Dixon trailer parties. Jesus waits patiently for Daryl to continue.
“Rick talked to me last week. When I stayed at Alexandria. Said I’s obvious, hanging round ya all the time. Said he thought there was something going on. I just didn't want noone getting the wrong idea.”
Jesus nods weighing his words before he says them.
“You didn't want them getting the wrong idea about what? Us? Or you?”
Jesus expression is guarded when Daryl peeks at it. Now was his chance to find out if what Rick said was really true. He had tried not to hope much and that wasn't hard considering the way Daryl had been turning tale whenever they saw each other. For Jesus the way Daryl had started leaning on him, needing his presence, was a victory. Everytime Daryl passed up a run so he could be there when Jesus returned from his, everytime Daryl found a reason to sit beside Jesus felt like an honor. Daryls heart is pounding. He can do this. He can tell Jesus , he knows Jesus won't judge him. He remembers when Aaron had figured it out, it was so much easier with Aaron Daryl isn't sure if that's because Aaron hadn’t made him say it or if it was just because he hadn't looked as pretty and vulnerable as Jesus does.
“It ain't the wrong idea bout me, just bout us.”
Daryl can't look at Jesus now. He stares at the orange and yellow flickers in front of him and picks up a stick to poke the fire just to have something to do.
“What idea do you think they were getting?”
Daryl is frustrated now. He doesn't want to come right out and say it but Jesus is trying to prod him to. He is using the same, refuse to read between the lines, tactic Daryl does but against him and Daryl really doesn't want to admit how annoying it is. Jesus already knows and Daryl thinks his amused twinkling eyes say he loves having the shoe on the other foot.
“Come on, you know. That we…. Cuz we's always together and living together… Shit I didn't want noone thinking...”
Daryl gives up, he can't find the words. He doesn't know how to say that he didn't want anyone thinking Jesus would be dumb enough to love a guy like him without insulting Jesus. Jesus sighs and sips his whisky. The light of the fire is flickering across his face making his hair glow a golden shade of brown and his eyes look as bright as they do in the sunshine. He decides to have mercy on Daryl. He does know what Daryl is hinting at, that people might think they were a couple. Something Jesus himself had considered on a few late sleep deprived nights out on runs when he missed Daryl and knew he would be waiting for him at the gate when he got back.
“Would it be the wrong idea?”
Jesus voice is small and hesitant as he looks at Daryl. Neither of them say anything. Daryl was afraid of this. He knows Jesus was giving him the same looks he gave Jesus . He wasn't dumb but he knows this would be. He knows that if Jesus just knew him better, saw who he really was he wouldn't want anything to do with him.
“You don't know me. Wouldn't be askin that if ya did.”
Jesus scoffs and grabs Daryl's flask refilling it and handing it back while he thinks.
“Daryl. I’m just going to be direct. I like you. I do. It sucked this week when you were running away from me and ignoring me. I thought I’d done something and I couldn't figure out what it was. I thought maybe I’d scared you off because I was being too obvious but then Rick talked to me after the meeting. He told me He noticed we had been getting close. He thanked me for bringing you home and then he threatened me”
Daryls head shoots up.
“He did what?”
Daryls fists ball around the arms of his chair. Jesus smirks at Daryl's protective reaction a small thrill shooting up his spine despite the logical part of his brain shouting that he really doesn't need anyone to protect him. Normally he finds that sort of thing insulting but coming from Daryl it feels much more endearing. Daryl doesn't defend people because he thinks they can't handle themselves he does it because he cares and Jesus loves being on the list of people Daryl cares about.
“It was kind of funny actually. He was just warning me not to hurt you or else I’d have to deal with him. I didn't point out that I could knock him on his ass faster than he could blink. I just let him do the big brother thing. It was cute really, he cares about you. He wants what's best for you. I do to so I get it I guess. I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing if some guy was cozying up to you. I’d want to make sure they knew not to fuck it up.”
Daryl is staring at Jesus hearing him swear wasn't necessarily uncommon but It might be a result of the alcohol because Jesus eyes do look a little glassy. Daryl hears Jesus say “Some guy” in his head again and he swallows a nervous laugh. It felt right to hear it but he hadn't ever heard it from anyone out loud before. There has never been a time in his life that another person casually accepted his sexuallity like that. It feels so strange and so good to Daryl and he takes a big gulp from the flask. Rick had talked to Jesus about the same thing he had talked to Daryl about but he finds it a little harder to hold the grudge he was harboring before. He shakes his head following the burn of the alcohol.
“Ricks gotta mind his own business.”
“Well if he did that we would be less drunk and ignoring each other so I don't really have it in me to be mad at him.”
Daryls body feels relaxes and when he looks over at Jesus he sees the man has kicked his feet out and has slouched low down into his seat looking contentedly at the flames. His whole body feels warm. Jesus decides not to mention what else Rick had told him when he sees the relaxed way Daryl is sipping his flask.
“I’m sorry.”
Daryl hears himself say the words before he decides to say anything at all. Jesus looks at him with a small smile.
“For ignoring me? Or for telling me I don't know you?”
Daryl had forgotten he had said that.
“Ignoring you, I’s right about you not known’ me. There’s a whole lot I aint never told ya.”
“Well not everything I know about you is things you’ve told me. Besides you don't know about me either. That doesn't mean you don't know me.”
Daryl swallows a lump. He feels like there is no going back.
“I wanna know ‘bout ya.”
He almost looks away but he pushes the urge away, he likes the fuzzy way Jesus smiles at him when he says it.
“How about we trade information then? Something about you for something about me.”
Daryl chews on his thumbnail. He wants to say yes but he doesn't know where to start.
“A’ight, You first.”
Jesus isnt surprised by that condition he leans forward and clears his throat.
“Alright, well I grew up in a group home. Kids came and went but I was there for about 9 years until I turned 18 and left with nothing but a backpack and 200 dollars.”
Daryl takes a moment to absorb that. He had pictured Jesus growing up in a nice suburban home with loving parents and good grades. He seems so well adjusted and tidy. Daryl decides he will just meet Jesus secrets with the same version of his.
“I grew up in backwoods Georgia. Lived in a trailer most a my life after my ma burned the house down smokin’ in bed. Lost her and everythin’ else when that happened. Cept Pa’s bike and the clothes I’s wearin’.”
Jesus scoots his chair closer to both Daryl and the fire leaning his head sideways and curling his knees up in front of him. He looks so invested and Daryl feels like he could run right out of this camp if he could just make his legs move.
“I learned martial arts after I got jumped on the street for being gay. I got the shit beat out of me so bad I had to miss school for 2 weeks. After that I didn't want to ever feel that helpless again.“
Daryl looks at the cracked leather of his boots stretched out in front of him he answers quickly before he has time to back out.
“Ma Pa used to beat the shit outta me. All the time, didn't need no reason most a the time. Merle used ta try and keep me from it till he was gone in Juvie or out the house. Then it was just me and Pa.”
“Merle?”
Jesus asks for clarification.
“He was my brother. Not like Rick, he was blood, just about all he was too. He was a nasty son of a bitch. Racist, sexist, Homophobic, Fucked with my head as much as pa.”
Jesus looks solemn for a moment. He has to remind himself that neither of those men are around for him to beat up but the desire is intense.
“Rick said something about him. Said he should have gotten you from the sanctuary so he could be a better brother to you than Merle ever was.”
Daryls heart feels heavy. Rick is already a better brother to him than Merle. He hoped Rick knew that.
“I’m glad it was you though.”
Jesus looks surprised.
“Why?”
Daryl ducks his head.
“I dunno.”
Jesus giggles, honest to god giggles and Daryl's ears turn red.
“What’s funny?”
His voice is gravely from the whisky. He's starting to feel sloppy and happy. He missed whisky by the fire. It had been a long time.
“You're just cute.”
Daryls squirms in his seat.
“Knock that off.”
Jesus smiles fondly.
The Lookout: Rick and Maggie
Rick sighs leaning back and turning towards Maggie who is looking tired. Watching the two men talk without being able to hear what's being said can get a little tedious and Maggie has driven for hours and set up a camp site all on her own while pregnant. She must be beat.
“I remember back when I was workin’ in the force I used to have ta stake out a place with Shane and he would always fall asleep ‘fore anythin’ happened.”
Maggie looks towards Rick groggily. She hadn't known that Shane, Rick's best friend. She had only met him after. She had known the Shane that was consumed with guilt and jealousy the man who turned on his partner. She smiles softly and grabs another handful of their dwindling popcorn.
“Well I can't say I ever wanted ta be like Shane before but if napping comes with the package I might change my mind.”
Rick chuckles leaning to bump his shoulder into Maggies.
“I think you’d a been a good police officer. Women sometimes had trouble workin’ the job. People didn't take em serious or somethin’, it got under more than a few people's skin they ended up doin’ somethin’ stupid tryin’ to prove they could...but it wouldn't a got to you. Same way you ended up leadin’ Hilltop I think you’d a been a sheriff in no time.”
Maggie leans towards Rick resting her head on his shoulder while she chews.
“Thankyou Rick. I forget sometimes that you used to be an officer but it's just ‘casue that's who you are. You look out for people.”
“That's who you are too.”
They smile at each other again before turning back to the less than eventful happenings in the camp.
The Campsite: Jesus and Daryl
Jesus is still looking at Daryl with a goofy grin when he starts talking.
“I think it's my turn to share something . Hmm. Um my first boyfriend was a really jerky closeted guy. The whole thing had to be kept secret and he told everyone I had raped him when they found out we were dating. I had to change schools.”
Daryl can't hide his shock.
“Seriously? “
“Honest. I haven't had a serious relationship since. I just couldn't.”
“What a coward. Throwing ya under the bus jus’ cuz he was scared a lookin’ in the mirror. Hope he didn't make it.”
Jesus bust out laughing. The way Daryl unquestioningly takes Jesus side, not even batting an eye, it sends tingles over Jesus’s skin and he finds he might be a little more drunk than he realized. He looks at Daryl for a moment seeing the way the dirt on his arms makes the curve of his muscles stand out. The frayed edges of his shirts arm hole sticking out under his leather vest. Jesus takes a big breath realizing he forgot to breath that entire time. He turns his gaze to the fire so he can gather himself.
“There's no way he made it he had a maid and a driver. He probably didn't even tie his own shoes.”
Daryl laughs now too.
“What a winner, why ya even bother with em?”
Jesus sombers up a bit.
“Well I sort of figured it was be with him or be alone forever. Didn't really turn out like I was wrong.”
Daryl doesn't know what to say. He wants to tell Jesus that isnt true but he can't make the words form it's like his tongue is too heavy. Jesus sees the gears turning in Daryl's head and they share a meaningful glance.
“Ya had it rougher than I thought. “
Jesus smirks spinning his half full bottle between his fingers. That isn't the first time he has heard that from someone. He never quite figured out why people always assumed he has it all together. To him it's obvious how much of a mess he is.
“You had it just about as rough as I’d figured. Which was much more rough than you deserved.”
The way Daryls chest expanded when Jesus spoke made him feel like he was going to burst. He felt for a brief moment like he might cry but he pushes it down. There is something so warm and comfortable about talking to Jesus that makes Daryl just wanted to curl up in it and never leave.
“I ain't nothin’.”
Daryl says it like he has said it to himself 100 times today already. He remembers hearing it everyday from his Pa, from Merle, from the cops always taling him looking for a reason to lock him up. Jesus’s voice is a welcome distraction from those thoughts.
“Rick told me something else. He told me you said I could do better. Is that true?”
Daryl squeezes his eyes closed. Silently cursing Rick again, he hands his empty flask over to Jesus who takes it but doesn't refill it, waiting for his answer. Daryl realizes Jesus thinks he won't answer, thinks he will need to keep something in his pocket to bargain with.
“Ya, cuz ya can. Could do a hell of a lot better than some middle aged, good fer nothin’ redneck, who don't know a damn thing about relationships.”
Jesus tentatively gets up leaving the flask behind and moving to stand close to the fire, he gestures for Daryl to do the same. When Daryl is stood beside him he turns standing nearly chest to chest with Daryl whose breath catches in his throat. Jesus looks powerful and the way shadows are flickering across his features only enhances it. He looks every bit like his name sake. He touches the bottle to Daryl's chest and when there hands meet on the neck Daryl thinks he might pass out.
“I need you to listen to me very carefully. You are one of the strongest people I've ever met. You're brave and smart and loyal and you have a big heart. The very first thing I noticed about you was the fierce closeness you share with your family. It amazed me and the more I was around you the more I wanted that closeness for myself. I never stayed at Hilltop long before you and Maggie showed up. I'm no good at relationships I don't know how to do this but I want to try.”
Daryl is taking small shallow breaths unable to keep himself from watching the way Jesus’s lips move while he talks. Standing so close together feels like the whole world has melted away and they are the only two things that exist. Jesus reaches up and trails a delicate touch from Daryl's hairline to under his chin. The shorter man getting a better view of Daryl’s face looking up at him. Daryls organs feel like they are shaking and he brings the bottle to his lips feeling the ghost of Jesus own on it. Every nerve in Jesus’s body is on fire. He can't remember the last time he put himself out there like this he feels like he is walking the plank. When Daryl brings the bottle away from his mouth Jesus watches his lips. He sees the way they shine with the remnants of whisky and Jesus unconsciously licks his own. Thankfully Daryl speaks up.
“‘M scarred. I never … I never nothin’ Hangin’ around ma brother and his skinhead friends I couldn't let noone know. Till It was too late.”
“It’s not too late.”
Jesus crushes the distance between them bringing his hands behind Daryl's head and burying them in his hair. Daryl closes his eyes at the contact.
“Is this okay?”
Jesus voice is just a whisper. Daryl nods his head and when he does his forehead lightly bumps into the top of Jesus head. They stand their for a moment until Daryl can feel Jesus’s breath on his face.
“Would it be okay if I kissed you?”
Daryls heart is in his throat but he nods again and gives a sort of grunt unable to speak through the tightness in his throat. The gentle press of Jesus lips against his feels like the first breath after a coma. His entire body is electric and he is dropping the bottle of whisky to tangle his hands into Jesus hair. A surprised gasp leaves Jesus before it's smothered by the fierce pushback from Daryl's lips. Daryl finds that kissing is less about knowing what you're doing than he thought. His body knows and his mind doesn't have time to question it. Jesus places a hand on Daryl's chest breaking them apart.
“Hold on.”
Jesus lips look plump and bruised and his eyes are wide paired with his wild hair Daryl thinks he has never seen him look more beautiful, a similar thought is passing through Jesus’s mind when he catches his breath.
“M’ sorry”
The doubt Daryl had avoided before is bubbling up now.
“No, that was perfect. I’m just… I needed a second.”
Jesus thumb is gently stroking Daryl's collarbone and Daryl's hands have shifted to cup both of Jesus shoulders. Daryl can feel a slight shake under his hands so he pulls Jesus in holding the back of his head as he tucks it into the crook of his neck. The embrace feeling somehow just as electrifying as the kiss. Jesus lets out a shaky sigh gripping Daryls vest in his fist and relaxing into him. Daryl’s mind is spinning. He doesn't ever want to let go. There is a sound in the distance a rustling and a clang followed by a thud. Both men freeze in their embrace.
“Do you think?”
”Shh.”
Daryl strains his ears his mind turning over the possibilities. He pulls Jesus back looking into his face still gripping him as he gestures with his head for Jesus to circle around and come at the noise from the other side. Jesus understands and nods quickly pulling his beanie and gloves from his pockets and putting them on.
The Lookout: Rick and Maggie
Rick untangles himself from the collapsed and broken camping chair as Maggie tries to catch her breath between fits of laughter. Rick had been standing on his chair trying to hold in his excitement as he witnessed the scout and the archer finally kiss. It took every bit of restraint he had not to hoot out a victory cry. Then his foot had gone through the worn fabric of the chair's seat and the entire thing had collapsed the metal bars clanking together before Rick hit the ground hard. He manages to free his leg from where it's trapped.
Maggie stands to try and help Rick but he waves her off the red in his cheeks finally fading. He brushes his hands on his pants before returning his gaze to the men at the camp site. He moves his binoculars around trying to figure out where they went and when he can't find them his heart rate spikes.
“Maggie?”
She is assessing the busted chair with a clicking tongue.
“Hmm?”
She asks her thoughts elsewhere.
“Maggie? Where did they go?”
Maggies attention snaps back to the current situation and she quickly scrambles over to her own binoculars. The two of them scan the clearing again their panic edging closer as Maggie can't find them either.
“I dunno they were right there just a minute ago. You don't think somethin’ happened?”
“Maybe they went into the tent?”
Rick asks hopefully, trying to keep the worry out of his voice. A rustle to his left his Rick tensing and then there is a hand wrapped around his neck and a voice next to his ear.
“I don't think they are in the tent.”
Jesus’s voice is a mock version of Rick's as he says it, the southern drawl sounding goofy coming from him. Rick relaxes not worried now that the arm pressed to his throat will end his life.
“Jesus, you scared the crap outta me.”
In front of him Maggie is clutching her chest and glaring up at Daryl who has both his arms locked around her pinning her arms to her sides above the elbow. It looks more like a hug than an attack. Rick thinks Jesus grip might looks similarly harmless to Maggie and he smiles the relief finally flooding through him. They were all accounted for and unharmed.
“So. You guys worked it out then?”
Daryl drops his arms from around Maggie and steps forward like he might hit Rick but Jesus has spun them around and placed himself in front of Rick just as fast.
“We sure did, Maggie looks pretty tired, scheming sure takes alot out of a pregnant lady huh?”
Maggie looks at the ground guiltily as Jesus continues talking.
“Since we have a run to go on in the morning I think we outta rest up. You got watch Rick right?”
Jesus asks but he is already walking towards the clearing down the hill followed closely by Daryl and Rick sees that it isn't actually a question at all. He looks behind him seeing Maggie zip the flaps of the tent closed and realizes he is alone. He shifts turning around again and sighs.
The next morning the group decides to take the car to the town 2 miles over rather than walk for Maggie's sake. When Rick falls asleep on the way there the group takes mercy on him and clears out the clinic without him. Maggie finds as many excuses as she can to wander away from the two men when she sees the way their arms brush or their gazes lock. Rick might have made a mess interrupting her plans but he certainly sped things up too. She grabs a bottle of minty toothpaste so Rick can give it to Michonne. She thinks that there ought to be a good reward in it for him.
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