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ok. so. i was doing isat fic research. and.

well. uh. hey???

#i have no idea if this is intentional or not but #but...#isat #isat thoughts #isat spoilers

reading the end talks knowing how everyone feels about staying with each other feels like being beaten over the head with a hammer. the subtext that Siffrin is taking away from each conversation confirming his own expectations of the others' expectations, versus the subtext that each of them are desperately trying to convey back to him without coming across as weird and clingy because of their OWN perceptions of everyone's expectations.

Bonnie (regular): "Wait, that's such a long journey though!!! I'm not gonna go find you just so I can punch you if you're wrong!!! That's dumb!!! [...] Okay, then I'll believe you!!! Hopefully I won't have to walk forever to punch you!!!"

Bonnie (friendquest): "...I'll miss you, Frin. ... I know you'll leave soon, but, um... Y-You should come by Bambouche one day! So you can meet my sister!!! So I can say... "That's Frin! They helped me a bunch! They're really cool!!!" So come and see me sometime, yeah? Promise? [...] I'll be waiting for you, Frin!!!"

"i know you'll leave soon" "that's such a long journey" assuming that Siffrin would never want to stay close by, that wherever he goes would be arduous for them to reach. ...and, maybe in Siffrin's interpretation, not worth the annoyance and exertion it would take to reach them.

Isabeau (regular): "I can't wait to go back to my old job, you know? Make sure to say hi when you're near Jouvente, 'kay?"

Isabeau (friendquest): "...I hope...I hope you'll at least visit sometime, Sif. Our journey is over, but don't be a stranger, okay?"

Isabeau, short and restrained after his aborted confessions. maybe keeping it brief and simple to not overcomplicate the triumph of the moment, hoping he'll have the chance to express himself properly later (they're all having dinner together tonight, after all! they'll have time for feelings talks then! why wouldn't they?). not wanting to overwhelm or assume. how can he ask for anything more substantial than a visit before Siffrin knows how he feels, what he might want, what Siffrin might want?

Odile (regular): "But now I can finally get back to traveling. [...] It'll be weird to travel alone now, but I'll get used to it again. Or I could just go home to Ka Bue... Hm... [...] Ha...I'll miss you, Siffrin. You're a little strange, but you're a good kid. Maybe try letting down your walls every once in a while, huh? And come to Ka Bue anytime. Maybe we'll meet again during your travels."

Odile (friendquest): "It was fun. Traveling with everyone. I will miss it. [...] I... I suppose everyone will go back to their homes, now... Mirabelle will probably stay here, Isabeau will probably go back to Jouvente, and we'll ask someone to accompany Bonnie back to Bambouche... And what about you, Siffrin? Will you be going back home? [...] Oh... Why no-- ... No. Sorry, this isn't any of my business. But... No home at all... I never knew. I'm sorry. [...] ...I'll probably be going back to Ka Bue soon. Our paths will diverge soon... But if you ever come towards Ka Bue... Please come by, and say hello, won't you? ...Don't be a stranger, Siffrin."

Odile, reinforcing everyone's assumptions, backing away from the opening Siffrin gave her out of respect for their privacy, and sharing more of her own hand than Siffrin may even realize—resigning herself back to the quiet of her own company after the warmth and noise of being with everyone else. but even as a fellow traveler, both ~obviously intending~ to continue their journeys, there's no suggestion that their paths may intertwine deliberately, only inevitably diverge and briefly cross by happenstance or on a whim.

Mirabelle (regular): "...You can be so nice, Siffrin. [...] You know, um, um... Um!!! I know we haven't known each other for that long... B-But I hope you know I really treasure your company! I do! I really really do!!! And so... Thank you! Thank you for accompanying me on this journey! [...] ...I'm sure you're excited to go back to traveling on your own... But don't forget me, okay? Come see me at Dormont anytime! I'd love to hang out! Promise!!!"

Mirabelle (friendquest): "I have a lot ahead of me, still. But I never would have realized this without you, Siffrin! S-So, whenever you're done traveling, or you'd like to stay someplace for a little bit... Maybe think about coming to visit Dormont? Just to say hi? B-But you don't have to!!! It's just an idea!!! [...] I'm glad we're friends, Siffrin. ... D-Don't forget about me on your journey, okay!"

Mirabelle got so goddamn close to an actual, straightforward invitation for them to stay with her. "whenever you're done traveling or you'd like to stay someplace for a bit" could be a long-term thing of indefinite duration! but then she anxiously backtracks to "visit," "just say hi," "you don't have to! it was just an idea!" out of fear of coming on too strong, imposing too much. she's the one afraid of being forgotten, here, worrying that she'll fade as easily from their mind as anything else, unmissed. trying to balance emphasizing that his company is something that she genuinely wants, but leaving room for them to back out without feeling awkward if it's not something that they genuinely want.

in every case, Siffrin's plans "to keep/go back to traveling" are assumed, the distance is assumed, the separation is inevitable. it's all Siffrin can hear, couched in polite, socially mandated overtures to keep in touch. everyone will be gone and they will be alone again, outside of brief, occasional reunions (and always reunions that he would have to impose to initiate—how can they choose to visit Siffrin if they have no home to visit?—how can Siffrin know if they truly meant it when they asked, if they'll still mean it as time goes on?).

it's all the rest of the party can imagine, too—of course their mysterious rogue will quietly disappear back into the forests and crowds, impossible to find or contact after it's all over. they're left asking, begging, through the clenched teeth of social restraints, not to be left behind or forgotten, either. please visit, they say. don't you get it? don't you know how important to me you've become, how much i want to keep you in my life? they don't say.

and now all i can hear when i read back these lines is

i can't ask you to stay/come with me, but please, please don't let this be the last time i see you.

#mypost #isat spoilers #in stars and time spoilers #isat #in stars and time #i was watching the kpop demon hunters movie and stopped during the climax to write this post.#it's a good movie the Thoughts just took over #for some reason i remembered watching my friend play through the game after i'd finished it #reaching the end and re-reading all these conversations and just inwardly screaming in agony #knowing EXACTLY what siffrin is taking away from it every time #and what each of them are actually saying-but-trying-not-to-say-because-that-would-be-weird #sorry bonnie's bit is short i feel like i'm very bad at talking about them. maybe that should be my next goal. understanding bonnie better #isat meta #isat thoughts #myisatthoughts

whenever mirabelle gets to blow up (emotionally) i think it'd be funny if claude could be in the vicinity because then she can whistle and remark something like "looks like we were both making bombs, huh, princess?" and then mirabelle would be momentarily shaken out of her thoughts like "!?! WHAT!!!" because that's the first time she's hearing about her roommate making a bomb

"i-in our room??"

"where else? :) :D ;p"

and then mirabelle can think about how claude is the same as ever (she couldn't have changed. she was frozen.) and then think about how almost everything was frozen but everything has changed and she's still the same mirabelle but the world sees her differently and

#isat thoughts #isat spoilers

The ISAT Friendquest route, and why ending on this loop would be one of the worst possible outcomes

The thing is that the first friendquest loop very well could have ended the timeloop. Because one of the main reasons that none of the isat characters were willing to ask any of the others to travel with them was because they weren't sure if anyone else felt the same way they did. But in the friendquest loop, everyone gets confirmation that they're not just friends or companions, but family!

It wouldn't be out of character for Bonnie to say something like "Yeah, let's all go and see Nille and she can be part of the family too!" And that being the push everyone needs to talk about traveling together.

And how nice would that be, right? Odile gets to talk to someone about her past, Bonnie gets closure over Siffrin's lost eye, Mirabelle gets to be reassured that she's not alone in her asexuality, and Isabeau gets to really connect with Siffrin and talk about his change.

Except it would be absolutely terrible for Siffrin specifically. Just, so, so, so bad.

#isat #in stars and time #isat spoilers #in stars and time spoilers #isat siffrin #isat thoughts #cw mental health #most normal length hazelnuthelper post #my posties

ISAT ACT 5 SPOILERS!!

okay I said I was going to give more thoughts on act 5 of ISAT and then uh. I didn't. oopsies. but we're here now!!

I loved Odile's friendquest in this act SO much. one of my favorite things about the way the game handled Siffrin's actions throughout the entirety of act 5 in general is that everyone's reactions to him were so DIFFERENT. but not only were they different, they had reasons for being different. it wasn't just "Siffrin says something messed up, hurts someone's feelings, pushes it down, rinse and repeat". each "breakdown" was specifically tailored to be character specific. to fit in with how they've behaved in the story thus far, as well as how Siffrin feels about them/tends to respond to them in particular. with Mirabelle, it really was entirely accidental. Siffrin didn't even realize how their wording might come across in the moment. It wasn't him lashing out in any way - just him genuinely trying to cut corners. Odile?? Odile's was very different. it's easy to see that there's a lot of tension between Siffrin and Odile - more tension than there is with anyone else. Odile has been a thorn in Sif's side - constantly observing and watching and theorizing about why they're behaving strangely. I did the sus quest. Sif knows that she has the ability to figure it out. Consequently, they have to be way more aware of her than anyone else. (side note that's not entirely relevant to this but I want to bring it up - the fact Siffrin believes that her constant eye on him is because "she doesn't trust you" makes me sick. because that's not it at all. they might pretend it is. hell, she might act like it is. but it's not and she knows that. she knows it's because she's worried because she cares and Siffrin can't understand that.) so I feel like they took the "mistake" of messing up with Odile harder than they took any of the other interactions. because how could they be so stupid. how could they forget. how could he forget that she always figures it out.

so of course he lashes out. not only are they being faced with the same blinding mistake they've made over and over and over again, it's also a reminder that she doesn't trust him. (and why should she?).

and then she goes and makes it all worse by calling him a "friend". because they know that's not how she sees them. he believes that she doesn't trust him. so it must seem like she's directly lying to his face - and she thinks they're too dense to see through it.

I love that Odile doesn't back down. she doesn't shy away when they start yelling at her. she doesn't let it slide just because she made them upset (Isa and Mira both probably would - though Isa would try and get them to talk about it later). she pushes, because that's the only way she's going to get any answers.

the way you can feel her anger when Siffrin hits her where it hurts the most (without even seeing her face) is just AUHGSKJDHFKJSH. the writing of this game. the details. never cease to amaze me. I love the way she snaps back. she doesn't get angry, she doesn't yell - and yet somehow it hurts just as badly.

I also love the way Siffrin reflects on it - the way they acknowledge that "she was only worried about you!!!" because deep down he knows that their friends do actually care about him. the way Odile handles the situation afterwards as well - at the clocktower?????? I love that you can tell she's trying so hard to make the "right" choice to not endanger them when it's not what she wants. she doesn't want to leave Siffrin behind. If they weren't going to take on the King the next day, I guarantee you she'd be using anything in her power to figure out what was going on with him. I don't have the exact quote rn but at the end of the sus questline she mentions that she can't let something go when she finds it odd - and this is BEYOND odd. but she has to put the safety of the whole group and their mission first, and I love seeing that side of her.

#isat odile #isat #in stars and time #in stars and time odile #isat act 5 #in stars and time act 5 #isat thoughts #2nd post yapping about Odile let's go #i feel like this is somehow even more incoherent than the mirabelle one sorry #I was originally planning to combine this with my bonnie thoughts because I didn't think I had much to say on either #but I guess i did #whoopsies #will I ever get to isas #anyways odile I love you #isat spoilers #isat act 5 spoilers #in stars and time spoilers

Ok unpopular opinion BUT

I'd rather see Loop look like the wonderful star they are and find a new party/family to call their own post-game.

Loop still looking like a star is, admittedly, mostly because I can't imagine Loop as anything else. Loops the star! My lil star! But also I think Loop deserves to love who they are. Who they are is a star. And I think if they became a human, no matter what they did, they would look into the mirror and staring back at them would not be Loop, but Siffrin. I want them to look at themselves and at least go 'this looks like me. No one else but me.' Maybe in the future they change, but not until they can control the change themselves. Not until Loop learns who they are. Loop has been forcibly changed so much, taken apart and reformed to match someone else's desires or needs or wants, and I think they deserve to shape themselves. To be able to one day look in the mirror and see them. Whoever that may be.

I also want Loop to choose their life. That's kinda why I think Loop should be able to find and make a new family. I feel like if Loop were to acclimate themselves with the original party, they would always, to an extent, feel like they're forcing themselves into a place they don't belong in. Always just there. Always that extra thing Siffrin brought in. Always the poser. The 'fake' Siffrin. Even if they don't know, even if they still love Loop for Loop, that's how it would always feel to them. Because Loop will always feel like they're surrounded by strange and slightly different copies of their family.

I think if they were able to wander on their own, find their own family, I think that the comparison would be able to stop one day, or at least not hurt as much anymore. Loop won't be constantly surrounded by a reminder of what they lost and what could've been, they'll be constantly surrounded by the fact that despite everything, they are still loved. They are still loved as Loop, as their own person with their own emotions and heart and reactions. They won't feel the scrutinizing stares of people who keep trying to figure out why Loop seems so familiar and different at the same time. They can just be Loop. They can relearn love and open up on their own terms and become something more than the Universes designated failure and helper for Siffrin.

And maybe one day, after Loop changes, now feels like their own person, and is surrounded by their own family, one who knows of their story and past, one who loves so warmly and gently it let's the the wounds of being someone else fade, they'll run into Siffrin again. Yet this time, there is no lingering animosity, there is no pain in feeling like an accessory to them, a side character in what was supposed to be their story. Now, it's the nostalgia of seeing someone who survived hell with you. They can sit and talk together about their own families and travels and they get to just be two people in the Universe chatting happily. Loop sees the others come towards Siffrin and the sting of pain they used to feel seeing them is no longer there. Because Loop can still find their happy ending. Loop can still be loved. And Loop knows that now.

I just want Loop to be loved and feel it and to be able to accept that love fully instead of having the hanging shadows of their past as Siffrin taunt them.

#isat #isat thoughts #isat siffrin #isat loop #this got way longer than i thought it would #whoops?#oh well #also i dont mean this as hate towards the human loop and loop joins the party people!!!#i love seeing those works!#i just figured i would throw a possibly new idea into the fun melting pot of post canon stuff

I’m so normal about the Bonnie and Siffrin conversations in Act 6 where they talk about a past Bonnie that Siffrin talked to and made the promise to…

Like. those were his family in his time loop that he had meaningful interactions with but now those versions of them are in the past, gone, never to return.

The specific kind of loss that comes from that…

#isat #isat spoilers #starry time #isat thoughts