#isene

[teercst]

I’m trying to de-stress and have fun with my art again!! 

[ahvarchive]

y'KNOW W HAT. tell me about ahvir's hopes and dreams. like before she became the herald. where she wanted to go in life, what she imagined it would be like. LET ME KNOW THE GIIRRRL

the reason that this is a complicated question is that, even before becoming the herald, ahvir was essentially two different people.  between her birth and rem’s death she was --- introverted, quiet, self - sufficient, blunt, a terrible liar.  that version of ahvir wanted certain things.  after rem’s death, though, ahvir intentionally erased her own personality and adopted rem’s personality because, as far as ahv was concerned, rem deserved to live far more than she did and this was a way to keep her alive.  it’s important to remember that ahv’s personality as the companions know it ------ as ahvir knows herself ------ is largely a construct.  that no one, sans others from lavellan, know who ahvir actually is.  the flirtation and the outgoing - ness and the confidence?  that is all playing at rem.  granted, it’s been her mask for so long that it might as well be reality, and to be honest ahvir doesn’t remember herself or who she was before becoming rem, anyway, so even if she wanted to go back and ‘become herself’ again she wouldn’t really be able to.  she’s cognizant of the fact that her entire personality is a lie and that doesn’t actually have an identity anymore, and it frightens her when she thinks about it, but by and large she simple doesn’t think about it.

with this in mind, there are similarities between ahvir as herself and ahvir as rem.  both are romantics, for example, which influences their goals.  both were pranksters prone to sarcasm ( while this has been, at least in part, combined with rem’s flirtatiousness, the sarcasm remains one of the few parts of ahvir that survived the transition between selves ).  

anyway, before rem’s death, ahvir’s hopes and dreams were fairly simple.  she wanted --- love, primarily.  she wanted to fall in love and have a few children and get married and be happy.  this was all secondary to leading the clan well, but she saw no reason she couldn’t do both, and intended to both be a powerful keeper and a loving wife.  she wanted, after they got together ( and before, for quite some time ) to marry rem specifically and make a family with her.  her goals were fairly clan - centric, but her desire to lead well and protect existed comfortably alongside her desire for self - fulfillment through love.  she also had some lofty dreams of repairing things with humans, somehow.

after rem’s death and ahvir’s subsequent rewriting of herself, things changed.  besides erasing her personality, she also dramatically increased her focus on protecting the clan, basically forgetting about any goals that were for herself.  she’d already killed one; she couldn’t let her own hopes and dreams cost them another.  so she forgot about and stopped wanting marriage and love and self - fulfillment because it didn’t matter if a keeper had any of those things so long as she kept her clan safe.  she still wanted them abstractly, but she didn’t allow herself to think about them, and eventually she just --- forgot how to want things for herself.  her goals were concrete: become a powerful mage.  protect the clan.  never let them get hurt again.  she didn’t really think about the future except in terms of her own power and how that power could be used to protect the clan.  her dreams got very small and clan - centric to the extreme.  she didn’t want things for herself, but for them.

[illfatedvoyage-a]

starter | @isene

“Not to... question you unduly but,” Vann licked his lips, glancing around them. “Do you know where we’re going? We’ve passed that tree at least once before.”

[vindictan]

ISENE APPEARED TO HIM.

              For a moment , he could feel his heart ache at seeing the terribly MORTAL elf. But he quenched it as quickly as it came.  ‘ You are one of the People. Andaran atish’an. ’

[leoaegis-blog]

      “  i’ve word that someone spiked the drinks in the barracks. normally, i’d suspect none other than sera..  but she’s buried in red jenny.. things.  mind telling me why my soldier’s are all sickly drunken  ?”    pranks are fun, maker only knows that the inquisition could use more humor in these dark times.  &&  he’s not mad by any means, but more so concerned.        “  the concoction is extremely potent, some of my men are starting to speak elvhen tongue .”     it takes a world of restraint to not break into smile.

@isene and cully. brotp in skyhold.

[gorewrought-blog]

          the nights among these trees are cold - she had not forgotten the lands of her youth, but their chill had dulled with memory. kirkwall had not been warmest of climes, but the bitterness of fereldan nights cuts through cloak and firelight alike. victoire cannot bear the dull talk of taverns tonight, and had rather opted to take camp, kindling lit with spell and staff. head cocks at sound of another approaching - most would not venture into wood on cold night, straying close to stranger’s fire. victoire makes no move to stand but calloused hand lays upon staff in rudimentary caution. “do show yourself - i’m not in the mood for games tonight,” @isene

[sensehurt-a-blog]

the knobs of his fingers tangle, arms crossed in protection, nervousness, not RAGE OR INDIFFERENCE. ❛ oinmunain, said like an endearment. inquisitor, confused, it is a word unknown: LITTLE NUG. you are ... kind, you think i am good.   ❜ his words are soft; tender; appreciative. ❛ thank you. you help, you try to help, and, that makes you good, too.  ❜ :& @isene liked for a starter

[goldenhaircd-moved]

@isene  | |  starter call ( x )  

      “Are you one of the locals, or did you come here for the conclave?” Both options sounded unlikely to Janna: this woman wore a facial tattoo that, if Janna was not mistaken, was usually worn by the dalish elves, and everyone knew they kept to themselves most of the time. For the same reason, she could not really imagine she was here for the conclave. Once again, why would a dalish elf be at the conclave? The templars, the circles, the chantry, none of that was any of their business, or so she thought. Still, Janna hoped that her question would not raise any impressions of distrust or even disdain.