#it's mortifying

[flutterpagelibertigrove]

Marxolor Week Day 2

Theme: Dreamy Gear!

Yes, the pop flowers from egg engine in RtDL.

[lsunstreakerl]

Caffeine-related expenses and textbooks…truly the college student thesis.

(In related news it’s been over a month since I’ve had an actual coffee from a coffee shop and it’s rough)

these hospital shifts have been beating my shoes into the GROUND 😭 they cannot keep up with the *checks schedule* 15 hour shifts. I'm powered by caffeine, spite, and nice comments from all of you. I sleep w my textbooks under my pillow for osmosis <3

if I abandoned my local coffee shops like that they would think I was dead

[sm2k99]

how it feels telling my mom I've been getting into spider-man

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

my baby sister found my ao3 account, kill me 💀

[wanderingmind867]

I really should tell my therapist about my masturbation habits. Because I think I masturbate more when I'm stressed, and I'm stressed almost all the time. So I might be using masturbation as a stress relief thing. And if I am and then masturbation makes me sit on the toilet for extended periods...well, isn't it possible that my hemorrhoids are exacerbated by my masturbation habits? I feel like it is. And that makes me feel like I should talk to my therapist about it.

But listen. I like my therapist. They've known me since I was probably around 15. And when they know me for all my mental issues and some of my physical stuff (my stomach cramps and my congestion are things I do vent about there), I don't want to share my sexuality with them. I'm worried it'll somehow alter their perception of me. To acknowledge your sexuality means acknowledging that you masturbate and ejaculate and everything. I'm afraid people than get a mental picture of me doing that, because I'd get a mental picture of someone else doing it if they told me about it! When my dad told me he masturbates too (in his incredibly awkward attempt to reassure me) all it did was make me feel forced to imagine my dad doing that. And that's like the one line I didn't want to cross. I'll let my dad see me nude, I'll let him see my bleeding when I go bathroom, but imagining it all on his end? No, can't do it.

So the idea of telling my therapist is repulsive. It's downright embarassing, to the point where I feel like dying whenever I contemplate it. So I don't know how I'll ever tell them. I can't keep hiding my sexuality, masturbating and only writing about it online. But I can't tell my dad about it again! I can't tell my therapist! There's something so embarassing about it, it crosses everything I know to be "safe" and "decent". I know those are arbitrary rules, but still.

I'm feeling the urge to masturbate again. That's what inspired this. I just went bathroom a bit ago, I had tons of blood come out. And yet I still want to masturbate. I'm feeling exhausted, and this vent now exists because of that.

[boynextdoors]

stomach so gassy it feels like a witch's cauldron, i can't ever live with someone in the future cause they WILL hear it bubble and rumble and crackle

[pickledteethcommander]

We should stop stigmatizing having little mishaps, sometimes self discipline isn't enough, sometimes you just can't control it, it's out of your jurisdiction, sometimes you can't hold it in, a greater force possessed your body to do things you sweared you'd never do. Sometimes, you poop your pants.

[cantarella-archive]

'tis phone's too big for me hands