#iwanttobedone

[fancyboots-blog1]

I’m too overwhelmed by life.

[thegreenhunt]

Were we put on this earth to feel this empty all the time? Someone has a great sense of humor

[kmtford]

Soooooo overwhelmed

[thatgurlbecca]

Fact, my roommate is better than your roommate. #LastWeekOfFallSemester #IWantToBeDone

[mikkelson]

Quinn's first ride. #queenquinn #iwanttobedone #comozoo

[likebadlyalot]

Untitled Poem

Let’s start with the fact, That I still miss you. It’s been forever, And yet I still feel every ounce of pain. You are… Were… My best friend. When you told me you couldn’t stand being around me, That everyone else was so much better… It dug deep. Really deep. Here I thought, This is my best friend, Your are my best friend, And you always will be, To turn around and see that it was you who plunged the knife so deep in my back, With your hand bloodied with my blood, And a smile on your face.

It started off as anger. I was, Well… I was pissed! Beyond pissed, And that is how it came out. Spite, Anger, Hurtful words, That I didn’t mean any of. But you, You meant all of them. Every last one. Each of them feeling like another knife plunged into my heart.

And when I told you I was jealous, You automatically assumed it was because I liked you. You went off the deep end about that too. You didn’t even give me the chance to explain. To explain that your constant search and need for a lover, Made me jealous, Made me feel like my friendship wasn’t enough, That you couldn’t take a break, Not for one second, To enjoy the time you had with me.

I could tell you anything. I still want to. I struggle daily not telling you everything. Not telling you anything. Years of friendship washed down the drain, Because you bottled it all up. Because when you had a problem with me, You wouldn’t address it, You’d let it simmer.

I reached out several times, Trying to talk it out, Trying to bring back the friendship that was once there. But you pushed, And you pushed hard. And so I pushed back, With anger, When all I felt was sadness and pain. All I felt was loss.

It felt like a death inside of my family, Because that’s what you were, My family. But it’s almost worse than death. Because you can still be here if you wanted to be. But you choose not to be.

You say you told me why we couldn’t be friends anymore. But you didn’t. And you didn’t give me the chance to try to rectify it, To explain my side. You left me on the ground. In a pool of my own blood, Bleeding from the wounds you created.

You broke my heart. I loved, I still love you. Despite all the hell you’ve caused me, Despite all the pain you’ve inflicted, I still love you.

Just to make it clear, One last time, I am not, And I never have been, In love with you.

You were the friend I never had. You were the shoulder I went to. And I thought for a long while, That you would be the one person, My only friend, To never stab me in the back. But I was wrong.

And now the anger has simply turned to pain and longing for what used to be. I know I was wrong in so many ways, I know I messed up. But I want to fix it. That is all I have ever wanted to do. But you have been too blind to see that. Just as I have been too blind to realize that you are already long gone. And I have been too blind to finally let you go. And I’m not sure that I can. I’m not sure that I want to, I know I don’t. And I probably never will.

[themustachelady]

So like... can we fast forward to the end of the year, because I just want the dumb useless piece of paper that says BFA on it so I can move on with my life!

[wilder-flower]

it’s 12:18 am i’m back in Chicago. in a dorm room. awake finishing a paper. 

I GUESS break is over. woof.