~Yuu had lost their interest in food, and Ace and Deuce want to know what's up
[TW!! Light cussing(like one word), References of an eating disorder?]
(It's basically my relationship with food sometimes, but I'm not quite sure it counts. Just be careful y'all)
-Ace pov (Deuce and Grim are here too)
-Ace/Yuu can be read as platonic or romantic
-Yuu can be read as Reader
-They/them pronouns for Yuu.
(I wrote this with my Yuu in mind, but you can read it however you'd like!)
First time posting a story on Tumblr so be patient with me <3
Yuu had many strange things about them, your eyes always seemed to flit above them in a crowd. They just weren't all that... noticable? Like your attention was dragged elsewhere for something more intriguing.
So it made sense Ace kept finding little quirks about them long after knowing them.
Thats why. Not because he found himself staring at them more and more.
The way their lips thinned when they tried not to laugh, the way they blinked when caught off guard, the smiles that were more of a smirk than the beaming grins that Kalim would give.
And how they were currently picking at their food, sliding considerable portions to Grim who all too happily ate.
Ace had noticed Yuu was a picky eater early on. Always passing Grim what they wouldn't eat. But today they seemed CONSIDERABLY picky. Come to think of it, they didn't seem all to excited about lunch today. It's not like they were always extatic like Grim (he didn't think anyone could be that extatic), but they would suply their plate and eat practically all of it.
Now here Yuu was, quietly eating some orange slices they took quite a long time in peeling.
"Oi, Henchhuman, are you going to eat that?" Grim asked pawing at their burger.
"Grim," Deuce began to chide before interrupted by Yuu sliding over the burger, not bothered in the slightest about the tanuki, who happily chowed down.
"Are you not hungry Yuu?" Deuce curiously pryed. It was obvious he was concerned about the amount they were eating.
Of course, Ace wasn't. Whatever Yuu did wasn't his business. It didn't matter if they wanted to eat like a bird despite how sickly they always looked. It's a wonder how this lunatic has survived this long. He sulked, poking at his own fruit.
"Not really." Yuu confirmed, eating another slice. They must have noticed the pathetic look on Deuces face as well because they continued to explain.
"I just don't feel like eating anything they have to offer right now is all. Sounds like a chore."
"Mnyah?! How can eating be a chore!" Grim yelped as if offended for the foods dignity and his hench humans sanity.
Yuu sighed, looking like they regretted saying anything.
"I mean... sometimes deciding on what to eat takes more effort than I want to spend." They tried calming the cat with simpler words that left Ace wanting to pry.
"How big of a decision can it be? You only eat like five things anyway." Ace added, taking a bite of his burger.
Their eyes narrowed lips pressing together in a hardly noticable sulk, which meant he was right.
"It's seven, thank you."
"Granola bars and fruitcups don't count."
"It's literally food."
"Snacks."
"Not if I eat three."
"Toddler ass meal."
"Ace Trappola."
"Yuu whatever your last name is. You aren't exactly the epitome of health here dude."
"Doesn't help I'm surrounded by buff freshmen as a point of reference." Yuu frowned.
"Jack doesn't count." Ace pointed at Yuu with his fork.
"C'mon dude, work with me here."
Deuce, who had been watching them go back and forth spoke up.
"You said the hard part is finding out what sounds bearable to eat, right? What if we find out what the chefs are going to be cooking throughout the week and you can plan ahead? So if it's a bunch of food you don't like, you can pack your own meal."
Ace stared at Deuce before snorting "when did you get so smart?"
"I'm not dumb! Stop acting like it's such a shock whenever I give an idea!" Deuce bristled, before calming himself down to be the model honor student.
"I was a picky kid too and often complained about the school lunches. So my mom checked in with the school and got the lunch schedule. And I would pack home lunches for days I didn't like."
Yuu thought for a moment with a contemplative hum. That could work...
"Deuce, you're a genius." Yuu decided, standing up, to which the boy puffed up a bit.
"I'm gonna visit with the chefs. Thanks guys." Their eyes closed with a soft smile, before they walked off, Grim quickly trailing behind saying something about getting his own special catering.
My dear friend. My... ex-husband. he has his own obituary, too.
He was a good friend. I was always so focused on... being successful that I pushed aside my own interests unless they contributed to my image. It was like I was losing myself to that constant curation of a mask.
Jack was a good opportunity to have both. A business. A name.
This is a piece I wrote at like two am the other night.
its for the reputation series collab with @alltoolewin and @f00tball-imagines
disclaimer; this is purely fictional, I do not know anybody involved nor do I own them.
Words: 2,668
‘Don't blame me, love made me crazy’
inspired by Taylor Swift.
Declan tapped lightly on the steering wheel as you sat in the traffic on the motorway. Cars queued up as far as you could see in the wing mirror and the back window.
‘In a hundred yards take the slip road to join the motorway.’ The sat nav spoke in a monotone voice.
“I would if I was not stuck behind this bloody truck, in this queue this is probably all the way up to Scotland.!” Declan muttered in annoyance.
“I can’t actually believe we’re actually going to do this” you smiled as you played with the ends of your hair, looking out the passenger’s side window to the other lane of traffic.
This was something out of character even for you, but it was one of those moments you agreed to live a little and bite the bullet and do it.
“It’s exciting,” Declan replied, taking her hand with his other hand firmly on the steering wheel.
“Why didn’t we come up with this idea sooner? It would have saved a lot of our stress,” you commented.
“Because you have your career starting off and then there was the football season” Declan pointed out.
“Will we ever be able to return to our lives before?” Amelia asked, sounding hurt and worried.
Declan thought for a moment “Babe, we can do whatever you want. If you are having second thoughts, we can turn back around as soon as we get out of this queue. We can go back home” He says looking over at you and taking your hand.
“No, I am happy Dec. I get to be with you forever, to grow old and it’s exciting. That’s what I want.” You spoke as a grin crept onto your face.
You've been my rock with everything this season, Y/N, and now, it's just us, just you and me," he says before moving the car that had been stationary for at least 15 minutes.
“Have you finished being cheesy?” you replied, teasing him slightly.
“yeah, don’t be telling the lads at the club, I will deny all knowledge” he smiled, before kissing your hand softly.
“Do you think our parents will hate us?” You asked, after a pause.
“Probably yeah, but there’s no point worrying about that now. I want to focus on us. It’s our future. Declan responds to your question.
The conversation was brought up a couple of days ago while both of you lay in bed with each other. You were reading over a book you were writing, and Declan was watching a football game on the TV. Declan mentioned the lack of time they have together in-between the games and you are starting to travel around on book tours soon, that you rarely get time as just the two of you. They wanted more time together especially after the Euros.
Declan suggested that you should elope, as a joke as you sat writing wedding guest lists and first you thought he was joking, so she laughed it off but saw the blank face.
“You’re genuinely serious?” You asked.
You didn’t think it was a good idea at first to get married without your friends and family but as you thought about it you just wanted to marry Declan and she liked the thrill of getting married in secret.
Now you were stuck in traffic for 20 miles to elope and get married without anyone knowing.
“Finally, we’re here” Declan announces as he pulls up through the gates of a country manor hotel. You must have fallen asleep as you woke up startled.
Declan got out the car and handed the keys to the valet before he walked by to help you out of the car.
You got out and looked at the luxurious hotel. This was somewhere you’d like to get married in but with all your family and friends.
Guilt started to kick in from the moment you looked at the quaint country hotel.
“Should we go to church now or tomorrow?" you asked as you retrieved your suitcase from the boot of the car.
“It’s getting late, I don’t even think they’re allowed to officiate at this time, but there’s something I want to do first” He smirked as he took the suitcase from you.
“If by something you mean sex, then I’m sure it can wait,” you responded teasingly.
“Well, actually, I was talking about something else, but it’s a surprise,” He says as he leads you up to the steps of the hotel.
Initially, you were confused about what Declan had planned, but you also loved the excitement of not knowing what he had in mind. You were growing more and more curious about what he had planned as you walked down the corridor.
You didn’t have to wait that long because Declan opened your room door. You followed him through the door. You noticed a suit bag hung up on the rail. You frowned a few times but kept quiet as you looked around the suite.
“Check the bedroom,” Declan says, smiling.
You looked at him suspiciously walking into the bedroom to see a white box sat in the middle of the bed of rose petals. You walked over to take a closer look at it, opening it as you gasped at the contents, turning to Declan like a deer caught in headlights.
“You haven’t seen it have you? How!” You yelled, it was the dress she tried on with your friends, it was the perfect dress, but you didn’t want to spend that much on a dress.
“Well…I just, we’re doing this, and I know you won’t get the big wedding, so you deserve to have the dress, and it was the one you wanted” Declan explains.
“I love it! I mean it’s a lot of thought considering we decided to drop everything and get married a couple of days ago,” you say. She pulls her fiancée into a hug.
“Maybe this wasn’t entirely spontaneous, I had a little help from your friends, who helped to sort the dress out” Declan admitted.
“How even?” You couldn’t quite understand how he pulled all this off. If anything, you knew about Declan, he couldn’t keep anything quiet.
“that time, they wanted your waist measurements for a bridesmaid dress,” Declan explains.
“Aw, that is so romantic.” You bury your head into his chest and wrap your arms around him tightly. “You can’t see it though!” You looked at him.
“Well, I’m glad you loved it and I don’t want to see it yet” Declan says as he looked down to look at you. You pulled away and yawned.
“Come on, sleepy, let’s get you to bed,” Declan says gently.
“Sleepy?” You asked, “Why call me after one of the seven dwarfs? Can't I be sleeping beauty?” you asked as you came out of the bathroom throwing on some pjs, quickly climbing into bed.
"You can be a sleeping beauty even when you're asleep. I could call you after Grumpy if you want" he replies as he gets ready for bed.
“Fine, see how it is.” you mumbled as Declan climbed into bed. You moved to snuggle into him.
“Good Night I lov-,” He says as he turns to see that you had already fallen asleep. He kissed her before settling down to go to sleep.
“Declan” You squealed startling Declan as you jumped out of bed the next morning, “it’s our wedding day!” you announced.
“I know and as much I love you, it’s still early” Declan groaned as he buried his head further into his pillow.
“Why don’t you get up and start getting ready? I will be up in a few, and then I’ll arrange for someone to drive you to the church,” Declan says as he turns around on his back.
“Why are you not driving me?” you questioned.
“It’s bad luck to see you before the wedding so I’m planning to get changed somewhere else,” Declan explained through the door of the bathroom.
“But you saw me last night and now,” Amelia pointed out from the bathroom as she walked back out seeing Declan still in bed. “Come on, it’s past 10 now anyway,” She said as she came out of the bedroom in a robe.
“What’s under the robe?” Declan asked curiously as he got up.
“You’ll have to wait and see, you’re not the only one with surprises you know,” you smirked at him.
You and Declan arrived at the church both separately, in the village a couple minutes’ drive from where you were staying. The church had a beautiful stained-glass window that the sun was shining on.
It was something you had always wanted to get married in. So even though you were going to get married alone, with two witnesses who you barely knew, you knew you wanted to get married in a church.
You walked into the small church where you were met by Declan, whose smile made you blush. Nerves were starting to kick
“You look beautiful,” Declan stated.
You could have sworn you saw tears in his eyes.
“You don’t look half bad yourself,” you say, smiling as you grab his hand and felt at ease.
“Are you ready?” Declan asked.
You nodded, “Ready as I will ever be.” You spoke
Declan squeezed your hand, "let's get married," he says grinning at you.
After sorting out the paperwork so that you could get married, Declan walked as he turned to wait for you. You stood there for a moment, like you were stuck and couldn’t move your feet.
“Y/N” he asked.
“I… I can’t this is wrong” You say quietly, bowing your head.
“What?” Declan asked, unsure if he heard her right.
“I can’t it feel wrong, I haven’t got my dad here to walk me down the aisle, your parents aren’t here either, or our friends. Mason should be here to be your best man; I should have my best friend” You explain.
“But we agreed it’s what we both wanted,” Declan says walking up to where you were standing.
“I know, I just…I can’t do this without them” you say, sadly. “We can get married another time, right? "This isn't it?" You say gently as you look up at Declan.
Declan stood there. He opened his mouth a few times to try and find the right words, but he couldn’t. He just ran his hand through his hair. As he looked up, he saw you making your way out of the church.
“Wait Y/N!” He calls, as he starts to run after you “Y/N” he calls again, but it was too late the car drove off, with you sat in their tears streaming down your face.
Three days later, you both were home.
You never spoke to Declan after the church. You didn't even come out of the hotel room. You were distraught that you had let everyone down for the thrill of love. No matter how much Declan assured you, that you could plan the wedding.
You were already in bed when Declan came out of the bathroom after having a shower. You still looked hurt. The fact that you had been lying in bed awake most of the time since church made him aware that you were exhausted.
He stared at you for a moment, before an idea came to mind. Upon picking up his phone, he began to text various people, one way or another he was going to marry you, and he thinks he's gone and done it.
“Y/N! Come on we’re going to be late!” Declan called.
“I’m coming!” you snapped as you walked out of the bathroom. “I don’t know why you won’t tell me.”
“Because it’s a surprise, come on the car is all loaded ready to go,” Declan says as he picks his car keys from the table.
Declan looked over at you and moved a piece of hair behind your ears. “I know this hasn’t turned out the way we planned, but you’ll enjoy it.” He speaks.
“I know, I trust you” You smile softly as they walk out to the car. Realising how off you were being with Declan since you came home.
Before long you were out on the road, the journey was long. You really didn’t realize how far it was from home, until you were getting rather sleepy.
“Are you okay, babe?” Declan asked from the driver's seat looking at you as you were leaning against the window. You just grumbled slightly and closed your eyes, before drifting off to sleep.
When you finally arrived, you were back in the city, you smiled at the familiarity, as you sat up properly and rubbed her eyes, wondering why we had been on a long road trip just to arrive at a hotel on the outskirts “What are we doing here? “You asked as the car pulled up to the hotel just on the outskirts of the city.
“I have a nice surprise, let’s just wait till we get inside” Declan smiled as he got out the car before walking around to open the door for you to get out.
“Race you inside,” He says, sticking his tongue out at you.
Declan ran into the hotel, quickly before you got there. You caught up to him - "Hey, you have an advantage, you run around as a job." You pouted as you tried to catch your breath.
“How about I make it up to you inside then?" Declan suggested as he picked you up.
“No Dec, put me down!” You squealed as you looked around the hotel entrance upside down
“This is…Wow” You say looking around as Declan lowered you down on the floor.
Declan pulled you towards the dining hall as you both entered it was decorated with white and pink flowers, chairs sat out with tables towards the side and a makeshift dance floor.
You gave him a look, unsure what was going on.
“Turn around” Declan whispered as he pointed.
You did so, and you gasped as you saw your family and friends, the Declan family and teammates. “How?” You turned to Declan.
“Well – “Declan started, as Mason cleared his throat.
“That is where I come in. Declan rang me to help. He was up all night telling me what to do” Mason smiles.
“Mase.” You smiled at your fiancée best friend as you hugged him.
“I know, a man of many talents…Footballer in the day, wedding planner at night.” He joked.
“Alright, don’t take all the credit I came up with the idea” Declan rolled his eyes.
“You two are finally going to get married, and we’re here to help you get ready,” Sasha walked up to you as she started to pull you away.
Within two hours the two of you were married, as you walked along the aisle hand in hand, happier than you would have been if the two of you had got married in that country church.
Declan teammates we’re taking photos of the couple before they were called for their first dance.
As Declan turned to you and looked down at you smiling “You really do look beautiful in that dress,” He says as he wraps his hand around your waist and starts to sway to the music.”
The girl teased, "I feel beautiful, like a sleeping beauty. I'm sorry I was grumpy with you for days." She apologized.
“It’s okay, I get why you were upset, but that doesn’t matter, whether it was just with you or with friends and family I’m just glad we’re finally married,” He says looking down at you. “Grumpy” He added, as you laughed playfully hitting him.
“Sorry to interrupt but is it time to cut the cake yet?” Jack asked, making a few of the lads laugh, as you playfully roll your eyes.
You looked up at Declan and smiled. “I think our guest wants us,” you giggled, as you let go and walked in the direction of the boys.
15x16 coda now with added destiel, cw for Dean’s Trauma, <1k I haven’t written anything in over a year please be kind
The nightmares are back.
Dean sits upright in bed, shaking and heaving for breath. He blinks hard in the darkness of his bedroom, dispelling the horrors from beneath his eyelids and shuddering the tension from his shoulders. It grips him still, clings to the fringes of his awareness. It felt so real.
It was real. All those years ago.
He really did see a pile of bodies, pale limbs akimbo, blank eyes staring into the gloom. Tortured, agonized faces made up of wide, childish eyes and soft cheeks. Matted and dirty hair. Hair’s too long. Need to get it cut, Sammy, why’d you wear it like that anyway? Sam’s eyes, cold and lifeless. Sam’s arms, scrawny and-
Dean shakes his head. Sam isn’t a child and Sam isn’t dead. He’s right down the hall, hopefully still asleep in his bed. He’s dreaming, maybe, of a brunette and a white picket fence. The way he used to dream of the Ivy League.
He scrubs his hands over his face, his breath coming more steadily now. Sam is fine. Cas is fine, or at least he was when he texted goodnight. Jack is fine for now. For now.
Sighing, he lies back on the pillows. Fuckin’ nightmares. What is he, twelve?
He frowns. No, he was all of sixteen. Still a child in every conceivable way, still too young to have seen what he’d seen. To have had the childhood that he’d had.
“Childhood.” Ha. He smirks into the predawn stillness. He glances at the clock and decides he has time if he wants to try to sleep again.
Sam isn’t a child anymore and Sam isn’t dead. Jack is asleep in his room. Cas would call if something was wrong. Not to mention he’s a powerful angel, so.
He rolls onto his side, squishing his pillow for comfort. His family is fine. He’s-
Is he fine? Forty years old and reliving a nightmare he thought had left him ages ago? He hadn’t felt settled, hadn’t felt safe until, well, until Sonny. When Sonny sat him down in a diner and offered him a home, until someone actually cared about him not just as a babysitter and not just as a soldier, but as the young man he was trying to be. Always trying and never quite hitting the mark.
Dean rolls over, away from the darkening thoughts. The way the knife had felt in his palm. The way his knees had sunk to the carpet, the Baba Yaga’s voice in his teenaged body, this is your fault, you’re a failure, you never did anything right.
He jolts at the sound of his phone, the ring tinny in the total quiet. Squinting against the light of the screen, he holds it up and grunts something close to a question.
“Hello, Dean.”
“Cas.” He exhales it more than he says it. “The hell are you calling at this hour for?”
“I know you weren’t sleeping,” Cas replies simply. Oh. Right.
“Yeah, well. Now I’m extra awake.”
Cas makes a noise of assent, but Dean can picture the quirk of those lips which means he’s placating him.
Instead of asking him to talk, Cas does. He starts by revisiting his drive, how he’d played Dean’s cassette again and which songs he had sung along to. Next, he talks about stopping for dinner exclusively because they were advertising bacon cheeseburgers. The way Cas talks about middle America is soothing because this is someone who watched it come into being, has observed every change over the course of millennia, but is only now able to appreciate it in a specific way. In the way that he’d wanted to all along, but is only now getting the chance.
Dean knows it without Cas having to tell him. Cas will do anything to stop this world from ending because he loves it too much to let it end. Cas will also do anything to keep Jack from dying because he loves him too much to allow it. Cas doesn’t tell him where he’s going or what specific inquiries he’s making and that’s just fine. Cas is their wild card, their steadfast warrior, and the heart of their family. If anyone can find a way out of this, it’s Cas.
Sam will be chomping at the bit to help but Dean worries Billie will see through that. They’ll have to play double agents, he thinks, but they can’t show their hands. Can’t know too much, not until it’s go time. Which will be soon, if Billie’s prediction is correct, which it certainly is.
But not tonight. Not in the next few hours. For now, Dean can drift back into a peaceful sleep aided by the sound of Cas’s voice. He doesn’t realize it’s happening at first, just holds the phone to his ear and hums at the appropriate places. Cas knew exactly what he needed, of course. Gotta tell him, though, Dean thinks hazily, dangling on the precipice of sleep. Have to use words and tell Cas how important he is. Remind him.
In the morning, then.
Cas waits on the other end of the line, letting his story wind down as he feels Dean fall deeper into sleep back in the Bunker. He’s careful to infuse as much calm into his voice as possible, a proxy for his fingers at Dean’s temple, wanting nothing more than to soothe the restless and hurting soul he’s come to adore.
When he’s found the solution. When they are safe. When they are whole again. Then he’ll tell Dean everything. When there’s no more danger from Chuck. Not tonight, then.
Tonight, Dean will get a few more hours of sleep, and Cas will keep driving. He has an appointment to keep, after all.
A/N: I know, I know, this is super late but my energy and inspiration (and motivation) levels took a serious nose dive this week and I changed my mind about 50 times on what I wanted to write. Obviously I won’t be able to finish the other 3 days fics in a little under 3 hours... but I WILL finish them in the next few days. So keep an eye out for those if you’re interested.
“Mum, do you have a minute?” Aaron asked Chas as he walked up to the bar with Robert and Liv following close behind. “We’ve got some news.”
“They have news.” Liv said, taking a seat on a free barstool. “I just had to come along for moral support.”
“Moral support? What’s going on? Are you ill? Is Seb ill?”
“No, no Seb is fine. Rebecca took him with her to her support group meeting.” Robert explained.
“And neither of us is ill either.” Aaron added.
“Well go on then, spit it out.”
Aaron looked at Robert who nodded and both men beamed at Chas.
“We’re getting married.” Aaron told her.
“That’s your news?” Charity, who’d been listening in on the conversation, asked. “You’re already married aren’t you? That’s what we had that whole do in here for last year!”
“Yeah… I don’t say this often but… Charity is right.” Chas said, looking part confused and part apologetic.
“Well we never got round to making it official. So that’s what we want to do now.”
“Aaron proposed last night.” Robert told them. “With my watch” He said and pushed up his sleeve slightly to show the watch.
“Well I could hardly use your ring, could I?” Aaron said, trying and failing to look annoyed, the massive grin on his face giving him away.
“Soft lad even got it engraved.” Liv added. “Show them, Rob.”
Robert smiled and took off his watch and handed it to Chas.
“Love always Aaron X.” Chas smiled. “Aww my son the romantic.”
“Give over mum.” Aaron said, blushing slightly but still not able to stop smiling.
“So when is the big day then?” Charity asked. “Or is it going to be another one of those 24 hours notice things?”
“No we want to do it properly this time. We do everything by the book.” Aaron said, taking a sip from the pint his mum had put on the bar for him.
“First time for everything.” Liv joked and laughed when Aaron glared at her.
“We’re thinking August.” Robert said, getting the conversation back on track. “Before Liv starts uni - .”
“I haven’t even decided yet if I’m going to uni!” Liv interrupted.
“Before Liv starts uni and the weather is still nice.” Robert continued, ignoring Liv’s comment. “That’ll give us enough time to get the official stuff sorted and well… plan a wedding.”
“Well I’m happy for you both. Come here.” Chas said, rounding the bar and pulling them both in for a hug.
“I’ll officially be Seb’s dad too and be able to actually see him and make decisions for him when he lands himself in hospital again.” Aaron said, directing the last part at Robert.
“Well hopefully that particular part of the deal won’t be necessary any time soon. We’ve both seen too much of that place lately.”
Aaron nodded and turned back to his mum.
“Don’t tell anyone yet though, nobody knows yet and we want to tell everyone ourselves.”
“Oops…” Charity said, holding up her phone. “Dingle girls group chat. Belle says congratulations.”
“But that doesn’t matter, does it Diane? I can never compete with the great Jack Sugden.” Doug said as he and Diane walked into the pub mid argument.
“Jack was a good man. He was…. 10 times the man you are!” Diane replied and Aaron felt Robert stiffen next to him.
He grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze.
“Hello Diane, what can I get you?” Chas asked, trying to distract Diane and stop her shouting at Doug in the middle of the pub.
“Oh a white wine please Chas. He’s paying.” She nodded at Doug. “It’s the least he can do.”
“Everything alright Doug?” Liv asked innocently which kicked off another rant from Diane.
“Hey Diane have you heard the good news yet?” Charity interrupted. “These two are tying the knot. Again.” She said, pointing at Robert and Aaron.
“Really? Oh pet that’s wonderful.” She hugged both Robert and Aaron. “Your dad would be so proud, pet. Such a shame he can’t be there on your big day.”
Robert forced a smile and nodded.
“Yeah but everyone we love will be there. We might even get Seb a little matching tux.” Aaron said in an attempt to get Diane’s attention on him.
“Oh that would be so lovely. You had a suit too, you know, when you were little. You dad showed me the photos.” She told Robert. “I might even still have it somewhere between his things. I’ll have a look for it.”
“No that’s alright Diane, I’m sure we can find something for Seb to wear. You don’t have to go through all that trouble.” Aaron said quickly.
“Oh it’s no bother. She loves going through Saint Jack Sugden’s things. It’s like sharing your house with a ghost. A ghost that’s always going to be better than you. In her eyes anyway.” Doug cut in. “Congrats lads, I hope things work out better for you two than they did for us.”
“Oh cry me a river Douglas.” Diane started. “Jack was a good man and a good husband and a good father to his children. I’d have him back in a shot if I could.”
“He wasn’t.” Robert said softly.
“You what pet? Are you alright? You look a little pale.”
Robert took a deep breath.
“You keep saying dad was such a good man, but he wasn’t. Maybe to you but not to me.”
“Oh I know you two had your difficulties pet but he did love you. He was your dad.”
“No. He hated me. He hated who I was. Who I am.”
“Rob...” Aaron said softly, rubbing Robert’s back as he spoke. “Come on, let’s go home. Don’t do it like this.”
Robert shook his head.
“I have to. If I don’t do it now, I never will.” He said and turned back to Diane. “I was never good enough for him. He always chose Andy over me. I didn’t want to work on the farm like Andy, I didn’t blindly follow his orders like Andy and I wasn’t straight like Andy!”
“Your dad was no homophobe.”
“No? Do you know what he did when he caught me with a boy in my room? He leathered me Diane! I was 15 and he leathered me for liking boys! He made me hate myself and made me believe liking boys was wrong! It took me 15 years to be honest with myself! Fifteen years! To let myself be who I am! To be ok with loving who I love, regardless of gender! You say he’d be proud of me? He wouldn’t! He’d hate the love of my life because he’s a man!”
Diane looked shocked and thankfully had the sense not to say anything.
“He’d hate me.” Robert said and Aaron’s heart broke seeing the tears in his eyes. “I have to go.” He pushed past Diane and ran out the pub.
“Did you know about this?” a dumbfounded Chas asked Aaron who nodded.
“I… I don’t believe this. That’s… that’s not the Jack I know.” Diane stammered.
“Why would he lie about something like this Diane?!” Aaron asked and instead of waiting for an answer he left the pub looking for his husband.
When he didn’t see him in the street he figured he’d gone to the cemetery to talk to Sarah. Something he often did when he was upset and Aaron pretended he didn’t know about.
“Aaron? Hi… uhm… just tell me to mind my own business but uhm… well… this might sound strange but… have you and Robert had an argument?” Jessie asked carefully, as she walked up to him outside the pub. “I don’t mean to stick my nose in or anything but he just ran past me to the house and didn’t even stop to say hello… He looked upset…”
“He’s home? Right, thanks.” Aaron said, running past her to the Mill before realising the poor woman had no idea what was going on. “Don’t worry, he’ll be alright. Bit of a situation with his step mum in the pub. I’m sure they’ll tell you all about it in there.” He called out to her and turned back around and jogged home.
He found Robert sitting outside their front door, back to the wall and keys in the lock. He was pulling at his collar trying to open his shirt further and breathing heavily.
Aaron dropped to his knees in front of Robert and grabbed his hands.
“Hey, hey, look at me. Come on. Breathe. Slowly. Deep breaths.”
Robert shook his head and kept tugging on his shirt.
“Yes, come on. You’re having a panic attack. Try to calm down. You’re ok. You’re ok.” He undid some more buttons on Robert’s shirt and tried to get him to focus on him and his breathing.
Slowly Robert’s breathing returned to normal and Aaron moved to sit next to him.
“Better?” He asked and Robert nodded.
“Sorry…”
“What for?”
Robert shrugged.
“Causing a scene like that…”
Aaron bumped his shoulder against Robert’s.
“You’re hardly the first person to do so. That pub has seen more drama than any other place in the country. Maybe even the world.”
“Still. I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have just kept my mouth shut.”
“That’s what I told myself too. Over Gordon. But when I finally told someone. Told you. It made it easier to tell everyone else. And the police.”
“That was different. Diane will hate me. She didn’t even believe me.”
“She does believe you. She’s shocked and confused… and Charity yelled at her saying you have no reason to lie about that and that Jack Sugden wasn’t the saint she thinks he was.”
The two men looked up and saw Liv standing in the doorway.
“You alright, Rob?”
“Yeah… I think so.”
She sat down on Robert’s other side.
“I’m sorry to hear about your dad. He sounds like an asshole.”
Robert smiled.
“Yeah. Yeah he kind of was.”
“Did you ever speak to that boy again your dad caught you with?”
“No… He worked on my family’s farm… and my dad fired him. Never saw him again after that day.”
“Do you remember his name? We could try find him on Facebook or something.”
“No that’s alright. It’s been over 15 years. It’s in the past.” Robert said and rubbed a hand over his face. “I can’t believe I just did that. I just… couldn’t take it anymore.”
“I can imagine. I mean I get sick of her blathering on about how great of a man Jack Sugden was and I didn’t even know him. And now I know what he did to you, I’m glad I didn’t.”
“Yeah me too.” Aaron agreed. “I don’t think I would’ve been his biggest fan.”
“The feeling would probably be mutual.” Robert said and tried to imagine his father meeting Aaron and Liv.
“Come on.” Aaron said, getting up from the floor and holding out his hand to Robert. “Let’s go inside and order some pizza.”
“That’s the best idea he’s had in a long time.” Liv said, getting up as well and helping Aaron pull Robert to his feet and into a hug.
“Just remember, we’re a family and we love you.” Aaron said and kissed Robert for emphasis. “No matter what happens, we’ll deal with it together. You, me, and Liv.”
