gif not mine, credit to owner.
warnings? mentions of hospital briefly.
“Amber!” You scream, as you see your old best friend pressed against the glass of SM’s main building. You risk your life in front of a taxi as you run cross two lanes of traffic. Naturally, Amber is laughing hard at you as you approach each other.
“Y/n!” She yells back, wrapping her arms around you tightly. During your trainee days you had worked alongside the f(x) girls, and had been close with them all. You were a dark horse for SM, a solo idol that would debut between the time of f(x) and Red Velvet. When and how you’d debut had never been made clear, but you were happy to be writing and performing music.
f(x) had debuted for over a year before you had to stop your training. Since their debut SM had questioned when to let you debut, and you had been growing impatient; your best friends had all debuted, and there were no other trainees your age. All the other trainees were barefaced teenage boys and girls that you never really saw yourself being close with.
When SM decided that you would debut in six months, you couldn’t have been happier. Following this was news of your sister being hospitalised after a major car crash, and you didn’t want to be away from your family at the time. After she finally recovered, your spirit for creativity had been broken. You hadn’t touched an instrument in years, and refused to sing if it could be possible. Eventually even SM stopped nagging you for a return.
You never thought you would return either. Your motivation and passion for writing had broken, but after having been forced to get a job in a company you hated, you figured you had to pull yourself together.
That was why you were standing in the heavily changed foyer of SM a solid few years after having left it in tears.
“You look so happy and healthy!” Amber loops her arm in yours as she drags you through the building.
“I don’t feel it,” you reply half heartedly, making Amber laugh lightly. Two months ago you had broken down to her on the phone about your life, and she had booked you a ticket back to Seoul to come see her and the girls again. She figured that, even if you just met with some of the people you used to work with, you’d feel infinitely better immediately.
That was your main goal for the month; you would meet your old manager and any fellow idols still in the company that you knew. You knew there were a lot of new faces you wouldn’t recognise; namely, those of NCT, who were an ever expanding group that your old manager now overlooks.
Amber runs you as up-to-date on years worth of missed news within the company whilst she walks you to your old manager.
“I think he is in a photo shoot with the boys, but if you call him aside, they won’t mind,” Amber says, before disappearing to find the girls so they can take you out for lunch. You face the door to the photography room, feeling as nervous now as you was when you were younger and eagerly waiting to debut.
The first thing that hits you is the overpowering smell of hairspray, then the presence of the boys stood in the middle of the room. They are all howling at something the tall brown haired boy had said, wiping the tears from their eyes and sending all of the stylists into a frantic panic as they threaten to wipe away their makeup.
“Y/n?” Your old manager asks, spotting you in the doorway. The laughter is cut and everyone is left staring at you.
“Hiya, Mr Lee,” you wave back timidly. He walks to you and wraps you in a tight hug, making you hesitate for a moment. You could sense how emotional he was feeling as he holds you.
“My gosh have I missed you a lot,” he steps back, straightening his tie and regaining his professionalism. “It has been a while.”
“It has indeed,” you reply, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your coat. You glance at the nine boys who look at you curiously. “I see they’ve worked out well for you though,” you add as an observation.
“My NCT boys,” Mr Lee smiles, motioning for you to walk closer to them. “A comeback in a few months, but today they are doing a photoshoot today for a new model deal they’ve made. Have you met them?”
“I met Johnny once, the others are all an entire generation younger than me though,” you laugh awkwardly. Behind your manager all the boys on the shoot look as awkward as you feel.
“Well, they’ve got another ten minutes of this shoot, then perhaps you could meet them?” He asks. Without being told they all return to their shining personalities. You stand at the edge of the room, wondering if you had pursued music, would your life be like this now?
Once the set has finished you are surrounded by the group of boys that you’ve never met before. Johnny is the only person you recognise, but even he has grown by a foot. He smiles, barely remembering you as well.
“Boys meet y/n. Y/n, the boys,” your manager says, before introducing them all separately. They all look so young, even though you aren’t much older than some of them. “Y/n used to be my idol, a long time ago.”
“What happened?” Taeyong asks curiously. Your manager shares your story without you even opening your mouth, making you cringe as he shares the details of your sister’s accident before you can stop him. “Oh, that’s sad. Are you returning to SM then?”
“I haven’t looked into music in a while, I highly doubt it,” you reply sadly. The boys all lose their smiles, thinking of how painful it must have been for you.
“But perhaps we will sway you back over,” your manager says, trying to lighten the atmosphere unsuccessfully. The NCT boys all laugh awkwardly, as if they felt compelled to, and you just give a weak smile that doesn’t even attempt to agree with him.
“Y/n!” Amber screams from the door, making you jump. Her timing was impeccable in getting you out of the situation. “The girls are all waiting in the car downstairs. Shall we?”
You’d been back in Seoul for two days now. Somehow you had ended up in many meetings, despite the trip being a holiday. You had spent more time inside of SM’s building than you had outside of it.
But this meant that you’d gotten to know people around the company a lot more. Now you knew that that EXO was three members smaller, Red Velvet were going very strong, Super Junior hadn’t stopped making music and NCT hadn’t stopped growing in group size.
You got on particularly well with the NCT members. Your manager would try and force you to interact with them at any opportunity. Something told you that he was desperate for your return, but you were feeling stressed about the thought of it.
When you asked NCT if he was always like this, they had all agreed with you. Johnny had even said that sometimes he gave them all so many different events that they were just overwhelmed.
For the first time since coming back to Seoul, you’d be doing something lively in the evening. Taeyong, Taeil and Johnny were going to sneak you in to a masquerade event that celebrities had been invited to, and some of the older members of NCT would be attending.
Taeyong was waiting in the hotel lobby for you, his face hidden behind a mask to keep his identity hidden. His silver hair is styled back, and you wonder how much hair spray and makeup went into his look today. The thought makes you giggle as you greet him politely.
The taxi outside had three more boys inside, and you squished between a masked Johnny and Taeil, both whom hugged you as you greeted them. Opposite you was Jaehyun, with his shock written clear across his face behind the mask he was wearing. You giggle at his expression, waiting for him to finally recover.
“When you said we were picking up a mystery guess, I wasn’t expecting this,” Jaehyun says, running a hand over his styled brown hair. Johnny chuckles, poking your cheek before looping his arm in yours.
“We couldn’t not bring y/n. I feel like she needed a pick me up, ya know?” Johnny grins, and the comment makes you smile. The whole situation is overwhelming; you were going to a celebrity party as a friend of the boys, and you had an inkling of an idea on how that would be covered in the media tomorrow. You didn’t want to go inititally, but after Taeil had pouted and Taeyong begged until you agreed to come, you were excited.
The hotel that the party is being held at is lavish, and the number of cameras outside are ridiculous. Fans of the various people invited to the party line up, all nervously waiting to glimpse even a flash of their favourite people. You hide behind Taeyong and Jaehyun, praying that the mask you had bought is enough to cover your face from the cameras.
“So plan for the night is to keep y/n occupied all night,” Taeyong says quietly as you pass the cameras. All the boys have a stern look on their face as they pass the flashing cameras, looking extremely attractive. It’s moments like this that you don’t regret dropping out of music, because the intense lights and non-stop lifestyle is something that you don’t think you’ll ever become accustomed to. “Jaehyun, you get first watch.”
“I do not need babysitting,” you say indignantly. Taeyong gives you a smirk before disappearing inside the foyer with Johnny and Taeil, saying he was looking for a friend.
“Hi,” you say sheepishly to Jaehyun, who looks as intimidating as a Greek god stood in front of you in a suit and mask like that. Jaehyun glances at you before softening up and leading you into the hotel.
The time you spend with him is actually very pleasant, and it turns out that despite the intimidating facade, he is actually a sweetheart. He doesn’t hesitate in buying you a drink and introducing you - as a friend - to lots of idols his age that he knows. But by the twelfth new person you come into contact with, you were exhausted from the sudden busy introductions.
Jaehyun notices this, and politely wishes a farewell to an old friend before taking you over to the hotel’s large garden space. There are only a few people quietly chatting, leaving the two of you in peace. Jaehyun and you begin wandering around, both of you seemingly grateful for the quiet.
“It’s really tiring, isn’t it?” Jaehyun confesses quietly, loosening the mask on his face. “Like, don’t get me wrong. I love it, and I wouldn’t change my career for anything in the world. But sometimes I just think, damn I’d really love to know these people outside of this setting. When every move I make isn’t going to be judged by millions. You know?”
“Yeah, I know,” you smile sadly. Jaehyun looks even better in the moonlight, and it’s awfully distracting. “I guess I’m grateful that I escaped it. I’m not sure if I’d ever get used to this lifestyle, actually.”
“I’ve been in SM for a long time now. Johnny mentioned that he had seen you a few times, but I’ve never seen you before the other day. And have only heard of you a few times - how come you were never promoted like the f(x) girls?” Jaehyun asks innocently. You are happy to indulge him in your story, and tell him all about the promotions SM had planned for you.
“But your family needed you,” Jaehyun says sadly. You nod your head, not really sure what to say. “Would you ever consider joining the company again?”
“Mr Lee didn’t set you up for this, did he?” You jokingly say, making Jaehyun smile with laughter in his eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe. I’m currently working a nine till five job in an office I hate. Songwriting was always my passion and now I couldn’t be further from it if I tried.”
“I think I’m a bit old for the whole idol thing now,” you chuckle, making Jaehyun shake his head. He claims how some of the idols in the company are twice your age and still making music. “But that’s Choi Siwon for you.”
Jaehyun’s eyes light up in laughter again, crinkling slightly at the sides as he grins at you. “Maybe. But I’m serious, even if it’s just song-writing. You should stop by the studio one night, see what you’ve still got in you.”
“Don’t expect me to Cherrybomb my way through the doors. I haven’t physically danced, or done sports for that matter, in so long that I don’t think I could manage,” you say, making Jaehyun laugh even harder. His laughter becomes washed away with the sound of the hotel nearing again, and you want to cringe at the busyness inside of the building. But somehow, you feel a little bit better about your future, and you aren’t sure how Jaehyun has done that for you.
“Wow, you actually came,” Jaehyun sounds surprised as you join him in the studio. He had asked Amber to tell you he’d be there in the evening. Amber hadn’t hesitated to tease you all day and had walked you to the studios to send you off, and you could already imagine the questions she would ask you later on.
“Don’t sound so surprised, Jaehyun, I dropped out of the company but I’m not that much of a let down,” you joke, joining him at the computer. This wasn’t the studio you spent countless hours pouring over a notebook and keyboard in, but it was still just as nostalgic.
Jaehyun laughs hard at your comment before shifting over on the bench. All he wears now are grey joggers and a baby blue hoodie that makes him look incredibly soft. It’s hard to believe he was the same man you were with last night, who was chiselled out of pure stone and intimidated everybody he spoke with.
He is happy to show you the things that he had been working on, which included as OST that he would be singing for an upcoming drama that a friend of his was directing.
“They are beautiful words,” you say to Jaehyun, spotting his notebook on the desk in front of him. The words are scrawled messily across the page, reminding you of your old notebooks. Seeing it makes you smile.
“Thank you. It’s a lot more heartfelt than I’m used to, so I’m a bit nervous,” Jaehyun says, resting his hands in his lap and turning to you. “But this isn’t about me. This is about you, and finding your passion for songwriting again-”
“Jaehyun I haven’t thought about writing in such a long time,” you politely cut him off, picking up a pencil and twirling it in your fingers. It was a lie, because you had spent a long time dreaming about continuing your passion from a company somewhere else instead. “I don’t think I could write anything if I tried.”
“But you haven’t tried, y/n. So you don’t know,” his argument is too good for you to battle against, and so you give up the debate before it’s even really begun. The smirk Jaehyun gives you makes your body shiver.
The two of you begin debating about your writing ability, and Jaehyun is determined to get something out of you before the day has ended. Just to prove a point you take the head and write the first line of words that come to your mind.
“That’s a start,” Jaehyun smiles, admiring your messy handwriting. “If only Mr Lee could see you right now.”
“I’d already have four mini-albums released,” you roll your eyes, making him laugh again. The way he expresses his happiness makes you smile, especially when he throws his whole body back and rests his hands on his stomach. Even his fluffy hair joins in, bouncing back and forwards until he controls it with his hands again.
Despite the intimacy of being this close to Jaehyun, with his notebook open that exposes his deepest thoughts to you, you feel really comfortable with him. His personality is sweet and funny at the same time, and you find it easy to chat with him. You don't end up writing anything else, and the short line of words on the page feels pathetic, but you just enjoy spending time with him.
It isn't until Amber calls you at exactly eleven thirty that either of you realise how late it is. Jaehyun looks at the phone then at you, raising an eyebrow, and you just cringe at the phone call. You sit in silence until it rings off, not wanting to share this time with anyone but him.
“I guess I really ought to go now,” you say, stuffing your phone into your pockets and facing Jaehyun. He is slowly packing away his things as well, clearly planning to leave.
“Johnny I need your help,” Jaehyun announces as he walks into the taller boy's bedroom. “You are the only one I trust. Well, that's a lie. I don't trust you. But anyway, help.”
“What's up? I'm assuming a lot given the dramatic entrance,” Johnny snorts, sitting up from his bed. It was almost midnight, and Johnny was struggling to sleep, instead opting to interact with some lively fans on social media instead.
“Y/n. I asked her out on a date and now I don't know what to do,” Jaehyun says exhaustedly, slumping to the floor. Johnny merely raises an eyebrow in response.
“You really- wow, you know you've known her like a week, right?” Johnny asks, humour in his eyes. Jaehyun runs his hands through his hair, sighing angrily to himself.
“Yes. Which is the problem. But after spending all of the party together, and then hanging out with her tonight-”
“You hung out with her tonight?” The boy's tone is incredulous, leaving Jaehyun rolling his eyes tiredly.
“Yes, shut up. Only at the studio so it wasn't anything intense. But I'd really like to hang out with her properly, and not when I'm sweaty from dance practise and feel like a wreck,” Jaehyun confesses, leaving Johnny stumped. “And she said yes, so I said I'd text her with an idea and now my mind has gone blank.”
Johnny throws his head back and laughs at his friend's hopelessness, making Jaehyun smack his legs in annoyance. Johnny begins listing off first date ideas, ranging from the very basics of a nice lunch or cinema showing, to more extreme ones of skydiving and swimming with dolphins.
“I don't want to be boring, but also don't want to kill her,” Jaehyun complains to Johnny about his lack of consistency with his suggestions. Johnny laughs hard again before searching on his phone a better list for Jaehyun to choose from.
“How about bowling? Amber said to me once she used to love going bowling with the girls. Perhaps that would be a good start?” Johnny asks, locking his phone and facing Jaehyun. Jaehyun thinks about for it for a brief moment before a smile breaks out on his face.
“Yes, actually, I'd love that. And I think she would too,” Jaehyun grins, jumping up from the floor and thanking Johnny. He disappears from the room to text you privately in the space of his room, Haechan already asleep on the bed sheets across the room.
Jaehyun assumes that you'll be asleep at this time, so takes his time with a shower and getting changed for bed. But when he finally crashes again, there's one unread message under your name and he can't stop the smile on his face.
You reply that you'd love to go bowling with him, already asking for a date and time. Jaehyun can't contain his excitement as he asks about Friday night, knowing about a quiet bowling alley downtown that the boys go to when wanting to blow off steam. Despite the late hour, your excitement gets the best of you when you reply back an enthusiastic yes. Fifteen minutes later and Jaehyun is switching off his phone, entire body buzzing for Friday night.
“If I win tonight, you owe me dinner,” Jaehyun smirks at you as you both finish tying up your shoes. You raise an eyebrow at him, telling him that the game was on. You knew you were going to have the best time with the brown haired boy; and it shocked you, and Amber, that you were going to be going on a date with somebody so soon since returning to Korea. You were only planning to be here a short while, and whilst that was nagging at the back of your mind, you didn’t want it to ruin tonight.
It was safe to say that you had a good time. In fact, spending time with Jaehyun was incredible; he made you forget about all the stress that your life was, and filled a hole in your chest that you didn’t realise needed filling.
But it also turns out that he is incredible at bowling. And beats you by an easy thirty points, including two strikes that you had no hope of getting. Despite your competitive nature, you were happy to see him win. The glow on his face for the rest of the evening was worth the knock to your dignity.
However, it did spark the first argument when the two of you rolled up to a tiny vendor selling street food just outside the bowling alley. Whilst you were busy ordering some finger food for you and Jaehyun, he had taken out his wallet and handed the seller the correct change without debate.
“That wasn’t part of the contract!” You complain once out of earshot of the foodcart, not wanting to embarrass yourself in front of him anymore. “You said if you won, I’d pay.”
“I knew I was going to win anyway. I just wanted to see if you were any good,” Jaehyun laughs at the disappointed look on your face as you make your way through a quiet nearby park. “Besides, there was no way I was letting you pay. So you might as well just shut up about it already.”
“I don’t know if I can put up with this for too long,” you tease, watching Jaehyun’s mouth fall open as he goes to take a bite of his food. He makes a comment back that has you in stitches, and that’s how the rest of the evening goes for the pair of you. This flirty banter that keeps the conversation light hearted, entertaining, and makes Jaehyun fit the mould of the perfect guy even more.
He even goes to the effort of walking you to your hotel after the date ends, not wanting you to walk alone in the dark. In the quiet foyer of the hotel you turn to face him, carefully studying the lines of his face to gauge whether he’d like to meet again or not.
“We should do this again sometime,” you say bravely, sticking your hands in your coat pocket and swaying on the balls of your feet. “You are pretty cool, Jaehyun.”
“You aren’t too bad yourself,” Jaehyun chuckles, a hint of shock in his eyes from your compliment. “But yeah. All jokes aside, I would love to hang out with you again. Now for the awkward bit; am I allowed to give you a hug?”
You lean forward and extend your arms, Jaehyun meeting you halfway. He presses his face into the top of your head, and you smile against his chest at the action. He was becoming so perfect that it was beginning to become painful. When he finally lets go you give him a small wave before leaving him.
When in bed, you text Jaehyun and remind him to let you know when he gets home safe. As you do this, you realise that you might just be a little more invested in this relationship than you initially thought; granted it was still early days, however it had been so long since someone had made you feel this special.
This keeps you awake as you text Jaehyun late into the night. He complains about the busy schedule that he has tomorrow, and is subliminally sulking that he can’t see you either. You keep winding him up but truthfully you are a little sad as well.
Falling asleep that night, you are happier than you’ve been in a long time. It makes you confused that one date and hanging out a few times with Jaehyun can make you this happy. But you didn’t want to question it in fear that something bad would happen to it.
Jaehyun sends you a final goodnight text just as it becomes painful to keep your eyes open. The message, a simple ‘Goodnight y/n. Thank you for the wonderful evening x’ makes your heart flutter in your chest. As you roll over and close your eyes, you fall asleep with the biggest smile on your face. At this rate, you were somewhat certain that things with Jaehyun were going to go really well.
master list // request something
