for @jaredpadacock who was in the mood for some blind!dean and it turned out that i was too so, what the heck.
Sam groaned when he felt Dean slip up behind him, his hands spanning across his stomach as he spread underneath his shirt. Dean’s lips were hovering just over the nob of Sam’s neck as it connected to his spine.
“Dean...” Sam said low, almost... almost as if he were annoyed. However there was something in his voice that said otherwise. “We’ve talked about this.
“Well...” Dean drawled out. “I’m blind and I see people by touching them.” He explained and Sam could nearly hear the smile in his voice.
“Dean, you say that every morning.” Sam said turning around to press a kiss to his lips.
And it was true. Every morning for the past few weeks, when Sam wasn’t reading every book that the Bunker had to offer and going through endless pages on the internet of finding cures for this curse and even calling up Rowena who seemed to be suddenly “unavailable”, Dean was always touching him.
But there was nothing sexual to his intentions.
No. He wanted to memorize every line and curve of Sam’s body because everyday that passed and every moment that Sam couldn’t find a cure, Dean was growing increasingly worried (despite the fact that he would never admit it), that he would never see Sam’s body again.
And so he touched Sam’s body every chance that he got.
Whether it be him holding his hand while the two of them ate in the library. Or him wrapping his arms around Sam’s waist as Sam fixed breakfast in the morning because it was suddenly impossible for Dean to do it. Or at night when he would just run his hand up and down Sam’s body in the most intimate way.
“I know.” Dean replied finding Sam’s lips.
After a kiss that was almost bitter sweet, Sam pulled away and rested his head against Dean’s forehead.
“Dean…how are you holding up?” Sam asked knowing the next words that were going to fall out of his mouth. He would never tell Sam that he wasn’t anything other than fine.
“You ask me that every morning, Sam.” He joked, using the same tone that Sam had used with him just a few seconds ago.
Sam sighed, staring into those eyes that weren’t staring back into his. “Dean, I’m serious. How are you? Really?”
Those two words fell from his mouth. Those two words that Sam didn’t want to hear. Sam didn’t want to hear the lies that he told not only him but also himself. He just wanted to hear the truth.
“Dean.” Sam sighed again, preparing to fight yet again another losing battle. “You’re not fine. Okay, man? I just want to know the truth.”
Dean swallowed thickly, his brow furrowing for a moment and he blinked like all of the sudden that would do the trick but his eyes were as milky as ever. It took him a few more moments to answer. Another swallow, a twitch to the jaw and Dean dug his fingers into Sam’s hips even tighter.
“I’m telling you the truth, Sam. I promise.” He finally said.
He shut Sam up by pressing his lips to his once more.
“I’ll admit that at first I was pretty frustrated when I realized that this…” He pointed to his eyes. “Could be permanent. I was frustrated when I realized that I would never be able to see your sexy body again.” Sam hit him lightly on the arm, for once glad that Dean couldn’t see the blush that fanned out across his face at his comment. “But once I got past that, I realized that I was actually much better off.”
Sam looked at him confused even though he knew that Dean couldn’t see his facial expressions.
“Like I never realized how beautiful your voice really is. Like Sam, I don’t think you realize how beautiful your voice is. I can still remember when I came back from hell and those nightmares used to plague me at night and just the sound of your voice would soothe me back to sleep. I never realized just how important your voice was to me until now. Until I realized that it was the only thing that I was left of you. Well, your voice and your body.”
In that delicate way of his, Dean began to trail his hands along the edges of Sam’s body. He traced his jaw, his ears, his cheekbones, his neck, his collarbone, his shoulders.
“I know every curve, every bend, every physical imperfection, things I hardly noticed when I could see them. I didn’t think it was possible, but you got more beautiful after that witch cursed me.”
“Dean…” Sam was blushing hard now.
“So I’m fine, Sam. I promise that I am and if you never do find a cure that I’ll be okay because you’ll still be here with me. I love you, Sam. Blind or not.” It seemed that ever since Dean had gone blind, he seemed to talk more, tell what’s on his mind, like suddenly the realization that you couldn’t see the reactions of the person you were talking to was suddenly relieving and he could actually just talk.
Sam leaned forward and kissed him again. “I love you too, Dean.” Sam mumbled against his lips.
