if you're not already, it's time to get chili-pilled:
chili is cheap to make
it's very filling
cooking one pot of chili results in a fuckton of servings. if you put the leftovers in the freezer and thaw them out when needed, you have premade meals that can sustain you for a long time
most of the ingredience are canned, so they are shelf-stable. it's basically beans. petite diced tomatoes. maybe tomato paste. spices. anything else you add is optional. ground meat? onions? bell peppers? shredded cheese and sour cream on top?
if you don't want to just eat the chili on its own you can serve it on noodles or rice. which are also shelf stable
beans are full of fiber and other nutrience and most people eat way less fiber than they're supposed to be eating
you get to decide if your chili is mild or spicy or sweet or savory or whatever. you can season it any way you want to
My holiday season gift to you all is a list of some of my favourite smut fics out there! It truly is the most wonderful time of the year.
As always, authors are tagged if their tumblr username is available in their ao3 profile. If you've been tagged and would rather not be, please let me know and I can delete it.
The Witcher
Lambert's (Not-So) Mysterious Vial of Oil by @on-a-lucky-tide - 11k, Aiden/Lambert, E, no archive warnings apply
Lambert discovers that Aiden has been using spit - fucking spit - along with a laundry list of other disgusting alternatives for sex (tallow, yeah, that was on offer too). He whips up his own lube using a centuries-old recipe and they go to town.
A fantastic balance of feelings and humour, and one of the fics that introduced me to The Witcher fandom. It's an absolute favourite, and I go back to it when I want something familiar and fun.
To The Hilt by @round--robin - 3k, Jaskier/Geralt/Eskel/Lambert, E, no archive warnings apply
“You like my swords.” Geralt said it like the most obvious thing in the world and Jaskier blushed, ducking his head. “On The Path, I thought it was the danger that got you off. But that wasn't it—just the sword.”
While he hoped to discuss this, the reality of Geralt discovering it on his own (Jaskier was a fool to think the Witcher didn't notice, Geralt had a sharp mind, even before you added in the heightened senses) made his face heat up. But he nodded all the same. “The steel sword, mostly. The way it sits in your hand makes me want...” He swallowed down his embarrassment. They'd seen each other in their least glamorous moments, Geralt covered in monster goo, Jaskier crying furious tears after a disastrous show, he needn't fear telling him about this, showing his desires.
This fic is so hot and I cannot recommend it enough. Object insertion doesn't get enough love imo.
so breathe it in to feel the love by @tumbleweedtech - 2k, Gascon/Reynard, E, no archive warnings apply
Reynard just needs to relax. Luckily, Gascon can read him like a book and knows just what our favorite General needs.
And the Duke of Dogs is exactly the right person to tell Reynard exactly what a very good boy he's been.
Soft dom Gascon is everything I need in life.
Star Wars
Tide me over by porphyr - 9k, Cody/Obi-Wan/Jango, E, creator chose not to use archive warnings
Obi-Wan uses official channels to make a booty call; the booty in question takes a few liberties. Cody did not expect his evening to turn out this way. Sometimes fantasies do come true.
The tension between Cody and Jango is what really kicks the heat up a notch in this. I cannot stress enough just how much I love the tension between those two.
Careful what it is you say by Artifactrix - 11k, Finn/Poe, E, creator chose not to use archive warnings
The day it dawns on him what all the circumspection is about, he could just about scream. They think 'troopers are celibate, he realizes. They think he's never had sex. They think he doesn't – or didn't, until just recently – know what sex is. He can forgive himself for taking so long to work it out, he decides almost immediately, because really? Really?
Smut with a side of stormtrooper culture. This is a longtime favourite of mine.
The Mummy
Be Unwearied, Unceasing, Alive by OzQueen - 5k, Ardeth/Evy/Rick, E, no archive warnings apply
Evelyn felt the flutter of something deep in her belly — something that connected to the adrenaline she'd felt after Ardeth had pulled her to safety, and Rick's hands had closed over hers carefully, firmly; we are alive, we are okay.
I cannot get enough of these three, and this fic has exactly the dynamic I love for them. It's hot, it's playful, it's perfect.
Call of Duty
First Light by @losersimonriley - 6k, Soap/Ghost, E, creator chose not to use archive warnings
Their entire dynamic is about to change. Johnny will either be internally disgusted and won’t show it, but will still fuck him because he said he would and that’s just the kind of honourable man he is…or he will become such a raging feral dog upon learning what was done to Ghost, that all thoughts of sex will vanish and be replaced with murder. He isn’t sure which is worse.
or
Soap takes it upon himself to be Simon Riley's real first time.
I love love love this fic. I've read it so many times. Mind the tags, since it deals with past torture, but it handles it so well. Also the author's other fics are amazing too.
Perdona Nuestras Ofensas by @tumbleweedtech - 9k, Soap/Ghost, E, no archive warnings apply
“Is this why you’re such a flirt on comms, Sergeant?” Ghost leaned to catch Soap’s eyes. “A little power make your knees weak?”
Oh no. He couldn’t look away from Ghost now. His Lieutenant had caught the scent of something he wanted to know and there was nothing on earth that would stop him from finding out.
Note: Our boys are not clergy. They're just borrowing the scenery, as it were.
Hnnnnng. Hot hot hot. The sacrilege is so hot. I don't actually have coherent words for this one, just noises. Sorry minutiae.
limerence (i'll be your animal) by @samuelroukin - 40k, Soap/Ghost, E, no archive warnings apply
That’s when Ghost rolls over, and Soap releases his cock instantly — holds his breath and prays to Christ that he’s just shifting in his sleep.
“Hurry up, Sergeant,” Ghost says, voice low and much too near. Soap shivers.
No use pretending he wasn’t getting off when Ghost clearly knows what he was up to.
“Can’t,” he whispers, “‘m not a lefty.”
40k of pining while engaging in the horniest behaviour known to man. I feel bad for Gaz having to put up with them.
Your Move by @frenchkey - 7k, Gaz/Ghost, E, no archive warnings apply
Ghost walks in on a game he isn't expecting. When he's challenged to take part, how can he say no?
Playing gay chicken when you really wanna fuck each other is dangerous. Also I need more sub Ghost in my life.
Hades
Regarding the Strength of Minotaurs by @help-me-writes - 21k, Theseus/Asterius, E, no archive warnings apply
Theseus has grown used to being champion of Elysium, confident and comfortable in the knowledge that his strength is unmatched by any mortal being, living or dead. He forgets that Asterius is not the same creature he was when they fought in the labyrinth.
SIZE KINK SIZE KINK SIZE KINK. Honestly, my favourite part of Theseus/Asterius is the size difference and this fic gets it.
Marvel
Good Boy by triedunture - 13k, Steve/Bucky, E, no archive warnings apply
Bucky is still adjusting to life with the Avengers, and Steve is willing to do whatever it takes to make him feel comfortable. Increasingly, though, what seems to make him comfortable is strangely intimate.
Surprise, Steve! You're a gentle dom and Bucky wants to be your pretty pet!
This one is so soft and so feelsy but the smut is just as good as the feels. Bucky healing through kink is everything to me.
Hold Me (Safe and Warm) by @frenchkey - 1k, Clint/Bucky, E, no archive warnings apply
Clint needs to unwind so Bucky gives him something to occupy himself with.
I won't lie I just love Frenchy's works. Their smut is so good.
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
My prayers are answered by your touch by @frenchkey - 2k, Xenk/Ilmater/Torm, E, no archive warnings apply
Xenk struggles to endure and prays to Ilmater for help. Ilmater answers.
Xenk getting taken apart and put back together again by his gods and it is so hot.
This is my recommendations of JAY fics! It will be updated once in a while for new stories I have read. Hopefully the links work (lemme know if it doesn't)
Credits to the authors!! All informations written are taken from the authors' post and has not been modified. Reminder that some fics are NOT for minors, so please read the key and avoid 18+ contents.
HAPPY READING!!
KEY
[❀]: fluff [𖤓]: angst [𖦹]: humour [☄]: sad [☾]:smut [⟡]:smau [✮]: my favs
Two is better than one by @jaeyunsz [☾][w/ sunghoon]
your fuck buddy sunghoon has a hot roommate called jay so he might have offered jay to have a threesome with you.
Chances to kill you by @invvuu [𖤓][e2l][supernatural] 1.2k
you’re fighting jay and he corners you
Noise complaint by @jaylaxies [❀][𖤓][☾][one night stand] 2.3k
a long hectic day of your business trip left you drained, and you wanted nothing more than to sleep in your five-star hotel bedroom. however, your plans were ruined once to heard loud moaning noises coming from your neighbouring room, you called to complain about the same, not knowing that your plan will backfire.
How to un-hate your summer fling by @jayflrt [❀][𖤓][☾][f2e][e2l][fwb][fratboyau][suggestive] 2.6k
jay park had trouble written across his forehead, and you were well aware that making out with him behind locked doors was a terrible idea. yet, that never stopped either of you.
My Boss Followed Me Home for Christmas by @jishyucks [❀][coworkers-to-something-more?][hurt/comfort] 4k NEW
Your ability to empathize was a blessing and curse. When you see your boss sitting alone in his office on Christmas Day, you can’t help but invite him to your family party. And when he actually says yes, you’re kind of stuck regretting the offer simply because you’re not sure how this is going to turn out.
SERIES
YouTube's sweetheart by @stargirlstories [❀][𖤓][⟡][s2l] 31 parts
you have it all as youtube’s sweetheart - a supportive brother, a wonderful best friend, and the ideal boyfriend. so what do you do when twitch streamer jay exposes your boyfriend for cheating?
Deuce! By @ddeonuism [❀][𖤓][⟡][✮][e2l][r2l] 57 parts
one may ask, what would happen if you put a prodigy and a hard worker in one room? Absolute chaos. Jay and Y/N absolutely hated each other’s guts. Having been rivals from middle school until present, it’s a cruel twist of fate that they ended up going to the same university years later. To make matters even worse, both have been selected as captains for the men’s and women’s volleyball team respectively.
The coaches, the managers—hell, both teams knew they had to put an end to this ridiculous beef as they were slowly tarnishing the esteemed reputation of both teams, but the question is: how?
I have far too many AU fic recs, so they're getting split between two months. This month we get the fully AU (different setting, soulmates, time loops, etc) and next month will be for canon divergence. That said I am 100% playing fast and loose with my own rules so if something in the list doesn't totally follow that metric, just go with it.
As always, authors are tagged if their tumblr username is available in their ao3 profile. If you know the tumblr username of any untagged authors, please let me know! (If you're tagged and don't want to be, let me know and I will remove the tag)
Hades
Almost Home by surprisepink - 1k, Asterius/Theseus, T, no archive warnings apply
To be scorned and hated was expected, when a monster was wed to the king of Athens. What Asterius had no way of predicting was how Theseus would respond.
I think I've read every single one of surprisepink's Thesterius fics, and this one is just so perfect in how it changes things up. Asterius being married off to Theseus to humiliate both of them is exactly the kind of angst I live for, and I would legit read 100k of this.
Merlin
The Crown of the Summer Court by @astolat - 24k, Arthur/Merlin, E, creator chose not to use archive warnings
"The king sent me to get you," Merlin said, with a tone that implied strongly that he wasn't rolling his eyes where Arthur could see, but just wait until his back was turned. "He said you're to get changed into formal clothes and meet him in the Great Hall, there's a delegation coming from the Summer Court."
Fae politics make brain go brrr. Genuinely this fic is one of my favourites, even though I don't tend to read a lot of Merlin fic. Sometimes a fic outside your usual fandoms just hits all the right beats to make it into the faves anyway.
Call of Duty
Ripple Effect by HigherMagic - 11k, Ghost/Soap, E, graphic depictions of violence
"I'll be moving on soon. The problem I was here for is dealt with. As my best customer I figured you should know."
A confusing mix of emotions rises in Soap at that, muddies his thoughts like disturbed silt. His nostrils flare as he snorts, lowering his muzzle so the knight cannot see the unhappy twist of his wide mouth. His ears press back. He'll admit keeping himself fed has been a lot easier with the knight's semi-weekly delivery; he hasn't had to hunt, lure, or trick for his meals in ages. But Soap has lived for many, many long years, and knows he will not go hungry.
He's…sad, he realizes. Upset that he will no longer be able to catch a glimpse of this knight, with his golden hair and masked face. He's grown accustomed to it, dare he say looks forward to their routine, even though the knight has only ever spoken to him the last time he was here.
KELPIE SOAP KELPIE SOAP KELPIE SOAP I can be normal about this fic I promise I'm so normal about this fic I am not normal about this fic or this concept someone send help
Yellow Card by eddie_dxaz, skerryB - 99k, Ghost/Soap, E, no archive warnings apply
Simon Riley, captain of the Manchester Soldiers, is one of the best goal scorers in the entire premier league. For some reason, however, he cannot score a goal against John MacTavish to save his life. It's driving him a little mad at this point.
When John gets booted from his team for a "breach of contract" Simon does his best to be professional, to welcome his new goalie. That's what good captains do. It's just a shame MacTavish is such an arrogant prick.
This is it. The fic that suckered me into the CoD fandom. I cannot recommend it enough it is so good.
Star Wars
across the doorsill where the two worlds touch by @formlessvoidbeast - 85k, Jango/Obi-Wan, E, creator chose not to use archive warnings
“Who are you, meshl'ika?” Jango breathed, fingertips brushing the cool beskar of their cheek. The statue seemed so real. Even though they were made of metal, Jango expected them to open their eyes, to look at him and answer.
An archaeological dig out in the war-devastated deserts of Manda'yaim unearths part of the lost temple of Tarre Vizsla, and inside it a group of Mandalorian Jedi preserved in beskar. The beautiful youth at the center seems to be the keystone of a ritual long forgotten.
But figuring out how to wake Obi-Wan is only the beginning of the story...
I adore a Sleeping Beauty AU, and this fic more than delivers. I just love this fic.
in the darkness they climbed the wire by @sophronist - 2k, gen, G, no archive warnings apply
He finally found a way to get himself and his brothers off of Dathomir and out from under their tyrannical mother's thumb. Now all he needs to do is keep said brothers out of sight of his new employers long enough to get well out of reach, while also keeping his new employers from realizing he lied on his resume and actually has no idea how to do his new job.
Piece of cake.
When I say I could read 100k of this fic and still need more. The worldbuilding packed into just 2k is amazing, and good worldbuilding is my kryptonite.
how to disappear completely by @jaigeye - 11k, Jango/Mace, M, graphic depictions of violence, major character death
Jango rubs a hand over his throat where his head was severed from his body. Some pain lasts beyond a thousand deaths.
Jango is stuck in a loop that just won't stop.
Look, sometimes you just want to watch a man have the worst day of his life over and over again, and that's okay. That's exactly what this fic is for. Torturing Jango Fett. And I love it.
Still No Rest by @hickeygender - 5k, Cody/Obi-Wan, not rated, graphic depictions of violence
“Here,” Cody says, handing a tin cup with the last of the coffee to Ben, who takes it with his right hand. His sleeve rides up, and Cody sees a sliver of his pale burn scars that are mostly covered by his jacket and gloves.
“Oh, thank you, Cody,” Ben replies. The drink steams hot in the nippy morning air and Cody is almost tempted to make another pot. Too bad they need to be making tracks. Cody extinguishes the fire before going and securing his bedroll to Ghost and slipping him a sugarcube. He pats the white mustang affectionately before setting his boot in the stirrup and saddling up.
“You’ll spoil that horse, you know,” Ben says as he finishes his coffee. Cody raises his brows.
“Oh? If I spoil Ghost, then you pamper Boga,” he says, and Ben sniffs haughtily as he climbs up into his blue roan’s saddle, not dignifying that with a response.
Western AU my beloved! This fic is just so good guys I love everything about it but especially the vibes.
DC
So your Soulmate's a Jerk by The_Dancing_Walrus - 7k, Barry/Leonard, T, no archive warnings apply
It was like an acid burn, for a moment everything felt normal and then it was like Barry's whole body was on fire. It was like the biggest shot of adrenaline, like he was suddenly way too aware of everything from the pain in his ribs to the smell of the front offices. He gasped at the same time Snart did, hand going up to his cheek which was still too hot and-
He turned, it felt like it took a lifetime, and Snart was on the floor staring up at him-
His whole hand had turned a red so dark it was almost black. A Lichtenberg figure, the analytical part of Barry’s brain supplied, Leonard’s Mark looked like a lightning burn.
Nothing like finding out your archenemy is your soulmate to ruin your day, ammirite? I love the "oh shit" moment of realisation and how it all just spirals from there.
The Criminal Keeper, an Origin Story by @townwithoutheart - 11k, Barry/Leonard/Mick, not rated, no archive warnings apply
Joe West never adopted Barry Allen. In the wake of his mother's murder and his father's incarceration, Barry is bounced between orphanages and foster homes, the child of an imperfect system.
Fast-forward fifteen years, to a future where Barry was never struck by lightning, never became the Flash. He works as a forensic analyst for the police and volunteers his spare time to the Wishing Well Foundation, granting wishes to children with life-threatening conditions. It's a pretty straight forward life, really.
... or it was, until a little girl named Anna is asked to make a wish. Her response? "I want to meet Captain Cold."
One of my absolute favourite no-powers AUs of all time. Based on a tumblr post and builds off it perfectly.
Running Headlong into My Arms by gleesquid - 54k, gen, T, graphic depictions of violence
Bruce doesn’t like to credit one thing for saving his life, but if he did, it would be Haly’s Circus that Friday night in September, just as summer was beginning to die.
(He'll always be a sucker for kids with sad eyes, no parents, and more fight than the world knows what to do with.)
Or: in a universe where superheroes don't exist, Bruce Wayne finds his family.
A no powers AU where Bruce still compulsively adopts every child that looks vaguely sad in his vicinity is everything I need in life.
Marvel
Making Me A Habit by @kangofu-cb - 20k, Clint/Bucky, T, no archive warnings apply
Bucky is a disabled vet struggling with reintegrating into civilian life. He has a routine and a rhythm, and he doesn't like to let anything - big or small - disrupt it. That all changes the day Bucky finds himself inside CATastrophe, the local pet rescue, recovering from a panic attack in the back room of the shop.
He’s used to walking by the place, not visiting, but the next thing Bucky knows, he’s hanging signs and being used as a climbing tree for a bunch of freshly-acquired kittens. And he just...keeps going back. First for the kittens, then for the disaster shop owner who rescues actual kittens from actual trees and teaches archery as a side-gig, and eventually because he’s hopelessly in love.
(Clint was in love before Bucky ever walked in the door.)
WinterHawk + cute pets is always going to be a winning combo for me, and this fic delivers it in spades. It's a favourite for when I'm looking for something soft and sweet.
Outnumbered by sara_holmes - 18k, Clint/Bucky, T, creator chose not to use archive warnings
Bucky Barnes returns to Brooklyn ready to get back into the world, make friends and sleep with Steve's super hot neighbor. The fact that the guy turns out to be a single dad to two-year-old triplets who spend most of their time causing mischief, trouble and mayhem doesn't deter Bucky at all. Steve would like it on record that he thinks Bucky is insane.
No powers AU and a kidfic? I'm sold every time. This fic is so cute I cannot recommend it enough.
Speechless by sara_holmes - 10k, Clint/Bucky, T, creator chose not to use archive warnings
It's not that Bucky doesn't want to talk. It's that sometimes (most of the time) he can't. So learning ASL is 50% getting around that slight issue and 50% getting Steve to shut his cake-hole about the necessity of him learning to speak again.
Well, to begin with. Then it's pretty much all about him falling head-over-heels for his incredibly hot - yet slightly tragic - ASL teacher.
I just love fics where Bucky learns ASL to help him communicate after all the trauma.
Visiting Hours are Nine to Forever by @tahlreth - 17k, Clint/Tony, T, no archive warnings apply
Look, Clint didn't mean to hit the guy, it just sort of happened. He was distracted, and the guy was distracted, and then things were a little bit out of his control. And even if it wasn't completely his fault, he still feels pretty bad about it. He had to go see the guy, didn't he? It was only polite, so yeah. He'd do that.
And look, he doesn't mean to start fake dating his accident victim either, but sometimes life is weird that way. You just gotta go with the flow when it happens, and learn to be the best fake boyfriend ever.
Fake dating, Clint and Tony both being a little disastrous, this fic is painfully adorable.
A Treasured Guest by @27dragons - 18k, Bucky/Tony, T, no archive warnings apply
Despite all of Tony’s genius, the warband known as the Avengers has conquered Tony’s hometown. When the town’s stores fall short of the tithe the Avengers demand, Tony volunteers to become part of the tribute, enslaving himself to the Avengers’ warlord to save the townspeople from starvation. He braces for the worst, but neither the Winter Soldier nor the Avengers are what he’s always been told they would be.
Warlord AU where things really aren't what they seem. This fic is one of my absolute favourites, and I cannot recommend it enough.
The Witcher
Don't Give Up On Me by AllTheQueensHorses - 11k, gen, T, no archive warnings apply
Lambert has been in the foster care system for years before he meets Vesemir. Maybe just this once, he will find someone who has the patience to help him along the way.
Undiagnosed-ADHD!Lambert and Pyrotechnician!Lambert
Lambert getting the support he needs and deserves to get to where he wants to go, and where he wants to go is blowing shit up. I love that for him. Genuinely though this fic is so sweet.
this is the road to ruin by @ghostinthelibrarywrites - 31k, Geralt/Jaskier, E, graphic depictions of violence
Working the night shift at the E-Z-Go, Jaskier is used to an assortment of strange characters. But Geralt, with his beat up old van, the swords in his passenger seat, and his occasional unexplained stab wound, may be the strangest. Jaskier can’t decide if he’s a LARPer or a hitman. Either way, he wants to know more.
This fic is a lot of fun, and meshes the Witcher universe with a modern setting in a really fun way.
A Beginners Guide to Exploiting the Kaedweni Tax Code For Fun and Profit by @heronfem - 208k, Aiden/Lambert, M, no archive warnings apply
Aiden Kett and Lambert Wilkson accidentally get married, and this is honestly probably the least of their problems.
Featuring, in no particular order: technically not tax fraud from a legal standpoint but definitely tax fraud from an emotional standpoint, gender noncompliance, what do you mean you're moving in together, Geralt of Rivia as a professional horse girl, goats, an egregious amount of snark, a lot of take out food, licensed monster management in leather pants, Aiden's massive competency kink, found family, a great deal of love in the face of mental health struggles, and kittens.
Maybe no one in this family had a good childhood, but they'll be damned if they won't fight for a happily ever after.
This fic is stuffed full of feelings and healing and people trying to build healthy relationships with each other.
Les Misérables
True Colors by @theladyragnell - 4k, Enjolras/Grantaire, G, no archive warnings apply
The first thing that catches Enjolras's eye when he enters the Musain Cafe for the first time is the walls. They're a dull black that it takes him a moment to realize must be chalkboard paint, because near the tables there are words and doodles, and all over, even the erased sections are stained with faint colored marks like the walls have soulmarks.
This is THE soulmate fic to me. Every soulmate fic I have ever written has been inspired by this one. I absolutely adore it.
Toil Until the Old Colours Fade by @drcalvin - 94k, Javert/Valjean, M, creator chose not to use archive warnings
After his leap into the Seine, Javert finds himself back in Montreuil-sur-Mer on the morning of his first appointment with M. Madeleine. He soon discovers that while his choices can change the outcome of things, nothing can stop death from delivering him back to that same morning.
Now he has to defeat the game of fate or keep returning to 1820, eternally dying without finding peace.
Let's do the Time Loop again! I love love love time loops and the helplessness the characters feel while they try to claw their way out of it.
Game of Thrones
and you will find me, time after time by @janiedean - 18k, Theon/Robb, M, creator chose not to use archive warnings
in which Theon's given a chance to go back in time and fix his mistakes after taking Winterfell.
It's not as easy as it looks like in the beginning.
Don't you just love to watch someone fail over and over again? No? Just me? Well I do love it.
The Magnificent Seven
With Fervent Heat by @liggytheauthoress - 10k, Faraday/Vasquez, M, graphic depictions of violence
"He can count on one hand the number of times he’s used his bending in the twenty years it’s been since his ma died. He learned fairly quickly that it was easier just to pretend he wasn’t a bender, so he taught himself how to fight with guns and lead instead of smoke and sparks."
In which six of the seven are benders and Faraday really, really needs a hug.
You know what, I need more bending AUs in my life. Gimme. The worldbuilding in this fic is great, and the emotions and tension are just delicious.
After Midnight by Adora Addams, Katsuko - 53k, Robicheaux/Billy, Faraday/Vasquez, M, creator chose not to use archive warnings
When Bart Bogue makes his threats to the people of Rose Creek, Emma Cullen sets out to find some men who will do what it takes to save their town.
To find some monsters who will save Rose Creek.
Wherein most of the seven are gods or monsters, with little exception.
I absolutely adore the worldbuilding in this fic. It's just a really fun read.
It's the new year, and that means it's time for new life! That of course means kidfic! Adorable infants to troubled teens, you will find them all here. This one got a little longer than expected, so you'll find the list under the cut.
Authors are tagged if their tumblr username is available in their ao3 profile. If you know the tumblr username of any untagged authors, please let me know!
Kingdom Come: Deliverance
Not In Blood But In Bond by gondolinarchivist - 4k, Hans/Henry, M, no archive warnings apply
When Henry swings off of Pebbles in the courtyard of Pirkstein, dusty with travel and tired from the road, it is not his lord, or even his lady, who greets him first.
“Hal!” Heinrich, his little child-voice high and excitable, outruns his nurse as he dashes to Henry. “Hal, Hal, Hal!”
-
Alternate title: A Day In The Life of Uncle Hal
A little snapshot into how Henry navigates his life, Hans’s marriage, and most of all, Hans’s little boy.
Look I've only barely started the first game and I'm already obsessed with Hansry as a concept, but this is genuinely the softest, sweetest thing I've read in this fandom so far, and Henry's utter adoration of Heinrich is everything to me.
Marvel
You and Me and Baby Makes Three by BeneficialAddiction - 9k, Clint/Phil, T, no archive warnings apply
Clint and Phil are finally starting to get their act together when one teeny, tiny roadblock gets thrown their way.
Phil holding Clint together at his lowest is my favourite thing to see in Phlint fics, and when you add a baby I just melt.
Unexpected Doesn't Mean Unwanted by florahart - 14k, Clint/Phil, M, no archive warnings apply
Clint has an unexpected toddler. Phil has an unexpected toddler-managing skillset. And both of them have crushes on each other.
That's the way they all became the Brady bunch?
Continuing the theme, one of my absolute favourite Phlint fics. Sam is adorable and heartbreaking at the same time.
Say Uncle by IamShadow21 - 3k, Clint/Phil, T, no archive warnings apply
Phil is Feew and Unkafeew and, amusingly, Booie-wing, because those first few desperate days apparently made a lasting impression.
Clint is mostly No, with a healthy dose of toppit. Sam saves weo futter for special occasions, these days, and Clint would have thought he'd be used to it by now, but every time, it makes him want to go out and shoot something.
Sequel to Unexpected Doesn't Mean Unwanted! I can't read one without also reading the other, and I reread them every time I want something comforting and familiar.
What if... Wolverine Visits the Circus by dragonwriter88 - 117k, gen, T, no archive warnings apply
Logan was taking a break from his new team, the X-men when he decided to visit the circus. He meets a young a archer who has his own set of problems that pulls Logan into a whole new set of responsibilities. Will Wolverine be able keep a teenage Hawkeye out of trouble?
It's my two favourite Marvel characters, I cannot overstate how much I love this fic.
Call of Duty
What Else We May Become by @narcissosbythepool and @imrowanartist - 94k, Gaz/Price, T, graphic depictions of violence
The stick drops from Kyle’s lax fingers and clatters on the stone tiles, the sound echoing much too loudly in the tiny bathroom. With trembling hands he picks it back up, staring at the result again; willing it to be anything else but the two pink lines that it’s currently showing.
It wasn’t until this morning that he was finally able to bring himself to grab some tests at the closest drugstore, and even then it still took him several hours before he finally gathered his nerves and used the damn things. There’s no denying it now though.
He’s fucking pregnant.
*
While starting a family was never something Gaz and Price ever thought was in the cards for them, they're forced to re-evaluate their lives when their extracurricular activities have unexpected consequences.
This is THE PriceGaz fic for me. It handles all the complicated feelings about pregnancy and the ways their lives have to change, and it has lovely art to go along with it! I highly recommend the whole series.
to you i can admit (that i'm too soft for all of it) by @furiosophie - 19k, Soap/Ghost, M, no archive warnings apply
"Kids?" Soap asks, curving his fingers into a silent okay to Ghost without thinking. "Plural?"
"Yes. A boy and a girl. Little Joseph was born a couple of months ago, according to the records."
"Oh," is all Soap says because oh. He has a nephew. A little baby nephew. And then, because that is apparently not enough of a revelation, the doctor says:
"You are listed as their legal guardian, Mr. MacTavish. We need you to pick them up."
I am obsessed with this fic. It's one of my comfort fics from the fandom, and I cannot praise it enough.
DC
But still your secrets (I will keep) by JUBE514 - 48k, Bruce/Clark, M, no archive warnings apply
“What the hell is that, Batman.” Kal’s still not moving but he does look back now. “Because if I didn’t know any better I would say that was me.”
“We have intel from a deserter at LexCorp that Luthor had gotten ahold of some of your DNA.” Bruce doesn’t know how to explain this without it … without it being terrible. “Through a fight, through his own strange methods, through kryptonite, who knows. He tried to clone it, but failed-”
Kal’s jaw tightens “Bizzaro.”
“This is a combination of your genes and a human donor, with some of J’onn’s DNA to hold it together.”
Bruce can trace the Martian's contribution with the barest hint of the way the clone’s eye is shaped. Just an impression, a barest hint that would never be connected if Bruce hadn’t seen the files for himself.
Kal bites in a terrible sound that emits from somewhere in his chest, a pitched keen that makes the hair on Bruce’s neck stand straight up. “Where is he?”
--
Sure, Kryptonians look human enough, but underneath all that flawless tanned human skin rests a creature that came from the stars.
Angst! Alien biology! Bruce Wayne adopting every dark haired child in sight! Genuinely this fic is so good and it explores some really interesting ideas about Kryptonian biology.
In For a Penny by @cdelphiki - 60k, gen, G, no archive warnings apply
25 is too young to be a Dad. That's what Bruce thought when Talia dropped off this baby she claimed was his. Add to that a jealous 11-year-old Dick, and Bruce has his hands full. What does one even do with a baby? Why does this baby scowl so much? And when on earth is Talia coming back?
This is the first in a series, and I absolutely adore it. Bruce floundering while he tries to figure out how to look after two kids is everything I need in life. He just loves his sons so much.
Running Headlong into My Arms by gleesquid - 54k, gen, T, graphic depictions of violence
Bruce doesn’t like to credit one thing for saving his life, but if he did, it would be Haly’s Circus that Friday night in September, just as summer was beginning to die.
(He'll always be a sucker for kids with sad eyes, no parents, and more fight than the world knows what to do with.)
Or: in a universe where superheroes don't exist, Bruce Wayne finds his family.
Bruce is destined for fatherhood. It's a truth universally acknowledged and all that. Basically law that he finds his kids in every timeline.
Star Trek
So Wise We Grow by Deastar - 81k, Kirk/Spock, M, creator chose not to use archive warnings
"Commander Spock, we have located your son," the Vulcan lady on the screen says, which would be great, except Jim can tell by the look on Spock's face that he's never heard of this kid before in his life. "If it is expedient, the child will be sent to join you on the Enterprise within the week."
I don't even go here but this fic hit so hard. Spock tries his best, and leans on Kirk when he doesn't know what to do, and it's just so sweet.
Percy Jackson
Hello Ocean, My Old Friend by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle - 7k, gen, G, creator chose not to use archive warnings
Poseidon keeps getting offerings from Percy’s baby sister. He doesn’t quite know how to feel about this small child vying for his attention…At the very least he would keep Zeus from blowing up whenever her prayers interrupted council meetings.
Or
Rick Riordan gave us Estelle Blofis and I am thrilled. She's going to get Poseidon to attend family events even if every god on Olympus kills her.
Again, not one of my usual fandoms, but I am delighted by Estelle. She's every bit as tenacious as Percy, but with weaponised cuteness. I would die for her.
Star Wars
All Help Us Survive by Triskellion and @temporoyales - 14k, gen, T, no archive warnings apply
Boba Fett is settling in as the leader of a syndicate on Tatooine, crushing his enemies, freeing their slaves, and generally trying to build a new reputation for himself. He'd like to see more of that Mando he helped. Djarin was useful around the Palace and good company. The kind (ever so rare) you could trust to watch your back. But Kryze got her claws into Djarin and they're off reclaiming Mandalore and Boba doesn't expect to see Djarin any time soon.
Boba really doesn't expect to see Djarin in his throne room with a group of kids.
And that first visit is only the beginning.
Boba looking after so many kids is just heart melting. He cares so much.
Mand'alor Cabur by @nautilicious - 285k, Boba/Din, E, no archive warnings apply
When Din ends up with a handful of orphaned children, there’s really only one place he can go.
I will take every opportunity to gush about this fic. It's so heartfelt, and Din's growth as a person and a parent gets me every time.
too few for the coffin by @deniigi - 19k, gen, M, no archive warnings apply
“I found a sith,” Qui-Gon says over the crackle of the vessel's comms.
There is silence.
“A sith?” Plo repeats.
“Correct.”
“What kind of sith?”
Qui-Gon pauses again; this time, Plo can imagine him looking thoughtfully over his broad shoulder.
“A little one,” he finally answers.
(AU where Qui-Gon brings both Obi-Wan and a young Maul back with him from Bandomeer, and Master Plo Koon trips and falls into taking on an unexpected apprentice.)
I reread this one any time I want baby Maul feels with a happy ending. I can't recommend it enough.
The Witcher
Don't Give Up On Me by AllTheQueensHorses - 11k, gen, T, no archive warnings apply
Lambert has been in the foster care system for years before he meets Vesemir. Maybe just this once, he will find someone who has the patience to help him along the way.
ADHD feels mixed with Lambert feels is a recipe for me to absolutely adore this fic.
Kingsman
(Starts With) The Click of a Lock by Stratisphyre - 51k, Harry/Eggsy, T, no archive warnings apply
“M’names Daisy Unwin, and my brother is Eggsy. He got hurt real bad. I’m at hospital, and there’s coppers here and I think they’re gonna take me away.” She scrunched up her eyes and remembered the last part. The part Eggsy made her say every night before she told him their nightly story. “Ossfords, not brogues.”
When Harry Hart responds to a phone call from a young girl, he has no idea how it will change his life.
Yet another fic in a fandom I don't usually visit, but Daisy is an absolute delight, and Harry would agree with me. So will you, if you read the fic, really.
Round three of the rec lists! Enemies to Lovers this time! As always, I have tagged authors if their tumblr username is in their ao3 profile, but if you're tagged and would rather not be, let me know and I will remove the tag (if you are the author of one of these fics but are not tagged, I can also add a tag if you let me know!)
Avatar: the Last Airbender
Dancing in the Dark by damagectrl - 61k, Zuko/Katara, creator chose not to use archive warnings
Post-Season 2 AU: While in Ba Sing Se, Katara and Toph hear a rumor about two tea servers in the lower tiers of Ba Sing Se and sneak away go to investigate only to have their suspicions confirmed. On her personal time, Katara tries to teach herself to dance and fails so badly, a masked man takes pity on her to try to help.
I read this fic back on fanfiction.net, back when I was first starting to read fanfic. I adored the ship, and this fic really gripped me.
Tempest in a Teacup by akaVertigo - 32k, Zuko/Katara, creator chose not to use archive warnings
Fate puts Katara in the Fire Nation to grow up in the company of a Dragon, a prince, and a lot of good tea. AU Zutara...of a sort.
Another of those early fics that shaped my love of fic in general and Zutara more specifically. I think this fic might be the reason I love AUs.
Star Wars
How a Romance Novel Saved the Galaxy by @arianaderalte - 165k, multi ships, creator chose not to use archive warnings
In one galaxy, the novel was never read. In another, it starts a landslide.
Or what happens when the Mandalorians learn that the Jedi are exactly what most of them look for in a partner.
This one is a bit of a cheat because not all the ships are enemies to lovers in this fic, but the Jedi and Mandalorians are historically enemies so I'm counting it. This is my rec list I do what I want. And honestly this is one of my favourite Star Wars fics because it's just so much fun.
Memories of Water by @withercrown - 67k, Obi-Wan/Darth Maul, no archive warnings apply
Having grudgingly settled on Tatooine for the foreseeable future, Maul resigns himself to the inevitability of a dull and dreary retirement as a distant neighbor to both Ben Kenobi and the supposed Chosen One. Lord Sidious is forever beyond his reach.
One day, a violent sandstorm sweeps across the desert. Unwilling to lose the last possible means of vengeance he has, Maul is forced to search for a lost Luke Skywalker at the side of his most hated rival.
Maul being domesticated against his will is everything to me. He's very angry and that makes me very happy.
The Flash
Tell Me What You Want Me to Say by giraffeter - 36k, Barry/Leonard, creator chose not to use archive warnings
“Look, the only way I know how to survive is to shove it in people’s faces as hard as I can. You want to be my date, you’re going to have to let me put you on display. You cool with that?”
Barry nodded slowly, considering. “Yeah. I can be cool with that.”
“Really? You’re cool with letting me kiss you? Letting me touch you, in public? Helping me put on a bit of a show for Central City’s criminal elite?”
Barry swallowed hard, but didn’t look away. “Is that really how you treat guys you date?”
Len allowed a bit of a smirk to creep back to his face. “No, actually. But these people don’t know that. Like I said, I have a reputation to uphold.”
~*~
To track down a ring of smugglers moving goods into Central City, Barry convinces Captain Cold to bring him as his date to Frank Santini's annual end-of-summer party. Len is willing enough, especially since it means spending the evening with Barry Allen under his arm. Neither of them is expecting feelings to enter the equation.
This one has everything; enemies to lovers, fake dating, smut. I love the banter between Barry and Len, and even though I'm not really in the fandom, I keep going back to this fic.
Ted Lasso
Vanilla Vodka, Two Shots by ToBebbanburg - 116k, Jamie/Colin, no archive warnings apply
Jamie Tartt’s first day back at AFC Richmond was nothing short of abysmal. The worst part about it was that he’d done everything right: he’d apologised to the whole team, had tried to join in with others’ jokes instead of coming up with his own, and had humbled himself on the training pitch by playing as a reserve. There was little else he could have done, and yet he finished his first session flat on his back as a man he’d once counted amongst the closest of his friends called him a worm.
-with Colin reluctant to accept the new Jamie, Jamie sets out to bring him round.
Jamie obsessing over getting Colin to like him again is perfect and so perfectly in character. Colin making him work for it makes it even better.
Hades
A Brotherhood Forged by surprisepink - 54k, Theseus/Asterius, no archive warnings apply
Theseus, haunted by the actions of the Minotaur before it was slain, seeks out the creature in Erebus in order to tie up the loose ends. He gets more than he bargained for: a conversation, a partner, a companion.
(The story from life to afterlife of how Theseus and Asterius became partners.)
I'm a sucker for these two, and I adore Theseus being haunted by Asterius after the labyrinth.
Yarn, Threads and Bonds by Hermit_the_IXth - 5k, Theseus/Asterius
What kind of afterlife is a Beast destined to ? Along the edge of the River Styx, Asterius wonders if this is merely the end, or the beginning of what the Fates had in mind for him.
Again, I just adore the dynamic between these two. I adore the way neither can get the other out of their heads, and the way their stories are so caught up in each other, even after death.
Avengers
A Treasured Guest by @27dragons - 18k, Bucky/Tony, no archive warnings apply
Despite all of Tony’s genius, the warband known as the Avengers has conquered Tony’s hometown. When the town’s stores fall short of the tithe the Avengers demand, Tony volunteers to become part of the tribute, enslaving himself to the Avengers’ warlord to save the townspeople from starvation. He braces for the worst, but neither the Winter Soldier nor the Avengers are what he’s always been told they would be.
This fic was my first Warlord AU I think, and I can't get enough of them now. I just genuinely adore this fic.
BONUS ROUND! PLATONIC EDITION! (Enemies to Friends)
Ted Lasso
Sounds Overly Valorous (Sounds Like Penance) by @altschmerzes - 7k, Roy & Jamie, no archive warnings apply
He’s not moving, not shying away or trying to get Roy off him, making no movement to break the grip on the front of his shirt, but he’s shaking. There’s a determined frown on his face, his hands are held with a tense deliberation at his sides, but Jamie is shaking.
Jamie is shaking, pretty fucking hard, as he repeats himself, saying, “I know you’re not gonna hurt me.”
Which is the moment that Roy has the sudden and horrifying thought that, fuck, he doesn’t believe that, does he, and he lets go like he’s been burnt.
[or, in this 3x02 episode tag, we're gonna reckon with the shouting and the hyperbolic threats aspect of jamie and roy's dynamic, trust, and how roy might feel a little differently about his own actions after things evolve]
Roy trying to navigate how to move forward now that he knows why Jamie is the way that he is. Full of feels, and very sweet.
Avatar: the Last Airbender
old habits die screaming by justanothermess - 7k, Sokka & Zuko, no archive warnings apply
“But you just said honor is about doing what’s right. You must have known that wasn’t right,” Sokka presses.
There’s a long moment of silence. Then, “I knew it didn’t feel right. But I always told myself that if I knew the first thing about honor, I would still be home.”
“I don’t understand."
“I didn’t, either,” Zuko sighs.
~
Of course Sokka has seen the scar. It’s kind of hard to miss.
…It just hadn’t occurred to him that it meant anything.
I just love a good Gaang finding out the story behind Zuko's scar fic. This is one of my favourites of those.
like father, like son by timelessillusion - 134k, Zuko/Sokka (Zuko & Hakoda focus), creator chose not to use archive warnings
The man’s voice once again broke him from his thoughts; “In my dreams I see them tortured by Fire Nation soldiers. I see my entire culture wiped from the South, our footprint upon the ice shelves gone as though we never existed, our connection with the spirits and our ancestors forgotten.” He was silent for the briefest of moments, then, “You’re Fire Nation, aren’t you?”
Zuko rolled onto his side, facing the wall, scar pressed into the arm that cushioned his head. “Once, maybe.”
“Answer me this, then; when will this war see it's end?”
Zuko, recalling the fire that had burned in Azula’s sunlit gaze the day she’d caught up to him, chose not to respond.
Dadkoda is my favourite thing on earth, and I love Hakoda being scarred by the war, but still being able to look at a wounded boy from the enemy nation and see a child.
This month I'd like to show some love to the WIPs and the unfinished fics out there. I know we all love the little spark of joy we get when we get that update email, but this rec list is also for those fics that haven't been updated in a while, or are abandoned. Some of my favourite fics haven't had an update in years, but that doesn't mean I love them any less.
As always, authors are tagged if their tumblr username is available in their ao3 profile. If you've been tagged and would rather not be, please let me know and I can delete it
Star Wars
Who Follows the First by @cherepashkadrabbles - 12k, Finn/Rey/Poe, M, graphic depictions of violence
“There are more?” Finn said—or rather squawked, Poe thought, as Finn’s voice went amusingly and predictably high.
This was the fifth time deserters from the First Order had made their way to a Resistance base, and yet for Finn the surprise didn’t seem to be wearing off at all.
I will never not love a Stormtrooper Uprising fic, and this one is one of my absolute favourites. Stormtroopers talking about Finn like a legend, a kind of myth they can aspire to, is just so special to me.
Mand'alor Cabur by @nautilicious - 285k, Boba/Din, E, no archive warnings apply
When Din ends up with a handful of orphaned children, there’s really only one place he can go.
I cannot express enough how much I love this fic. The author is so clearly passionate about it, and treats both Mandalorian and Jedi philosophies and culture with respect and love.
Last Stand in a Shade of Vermilion by emphasisonthehomo - 21k, Obi-Wan/Maul, E, graphic depictions of violence, rape/non-con
Maul sees his chance to run, and takes it.
He bolts, and does not look back, save to see if anyone is following him.
-
One of Darth Sidious' punishments goes awry, and the results echo across the galaxy.
I love AUs that explore different ways Maul's life could have gone, and this is one of my absolute favourites. This fic is what made me love the idea of Maul and Padmé as friends.
Sympathy for the Devil by Just_a_Loth_Cat - 120k, Obi-Wan/Maul, T, graphic depictions of violence, major character death
Following the trail of Obi-Wan Kenobi, Maul arrives too late to take his vengeance, but what he finds instead could reshape the galaxy.
Or, Maul trains Luke, joins the Rebellion, and is haunted by a very familiar ghost.
Maul being literally haunted by Obi-Wan is just so delicious to me. I love his actions following him around like ghosts. I especially love Luke inflicting his relentless optimism on Maul and growing on him against his will.
Marvel
What if... Wolverine Visits the Circus by dragonwriter88 - 117k, gen, T, no archive warnings apply
Logan was taking a break from his new team, the X-men when he decided to visit the circus. He meets a young a archer who has his own set of problems that pulls Logan into a whole new set of responsibilities. Will Wolverine be able keep a teenage Hawkeye out of trouble?
I love Hawkeye, I love Wolverine, I love grumpy men being father figures for troubled kids. This fic is a perfect mix of those things.
This Looks Bad by capforgetful - 13k, Clint/Bucky, T, no archive warnings apply
Clint’s eyes cast around until he found Bucky again, wide and frantic. What the fuck, he signed.
Bucky was frowning, but more worried, less angry. “That’s what we need Stark to explain,” he said. “Somehow, that’s -”
“I know it’s me,” Clint snapped. “I have fucking eyes. What the fuck.” In his arms, the kid tensed, muscles going taught like a bowstring.
---
Clint wakes up with a concussion, a smaller version of himself in the next bed over, and no idea what was going on.
De-aging fic my beloved. Clint having to deal with a younger, less well adjusted version of himself is everything I need in my life.
Stars and Stripes: an American Musical by Archetype_ElectraHeart - 29k, Steve/Darcy, T, no archive warnings apply
Darcy Lewis and Jane Foster are college roommates who embark on a mission to create a musical about Steve Rogers that highlights the unsung heroes of his story: his mother, Peggy Carter, and the USO girls.
Of course, Steve Rogers was never supposed to be alive to see it.
This one was recced to me by @frenchkey, whose taste is, as always, impeccable. This fic is so much fun, and I can't help but adore any fic that recognises the women in Steve's life.
The Bitch of Living by XiaoHuo - 10k, gen, G, creator chose not to use archive warnings
Clint just woke up in the hospital after his whole live has gone to shit.
Now he's supposed to live with his "cousin" Steve Rogers, but he's pretty sure that the guy isn't related to him and he seems to hide something about his job, no history teacher gets called out in the middle of the night and comes back with bruises.
AU in which the Avengers are still the Avengers but Clint is Steve's 16 year-old great-grandson.
I just love kid!Clint getting actual care from the adults in his life, guys. This is literally my favourite genre of fic.
Ephemera by @frenchkey - 1k, Clint/Steve, T, no archive warnings apply
Ephemera: transitory written or printed matters that are not meant to be retained or preserved.
Steve Rogers wakes up, makes some friends, learns to live and falls in love. A story told in the documents created along the way.
This one was a gift from my lovely frenchkey, and I love to go back and read it over and remember how much fun we had in the Avengers fandom.
You and Me and Baby Makes Three by BeneficialAddiction - 9k, Clint/Phil, T, no archive warnings apply
Clint and Phil are finally starting to get their act together when one teeny, tiny roadblock gets thrown their way.
Hand! That! Man! A child! I love making a blorbo learn to take care of themselves by forcing them to take care of a kid, and this fic really shows the panic of suddenly becoming responsible for a tiny human.
DC
Unexpected Development by @robininthelabyrinth - 19k, Barry/Len/Mick, not rated, no archive warnings apply
“Sorry, kid,” Len says, sounding – and likely even being, knowing Len – sincere. “We gotta run, and it looks like you’re coming with us for a bit.”
“Oh crap,” the kid (Barry Allen, he said his name was) says.
----
Response to tumblr prompt: Coldflashwave au, where Mick and Len end up kidnapping Barry for some reason after meeting the Flash, but before Len finds out his identity?
The identity shenanigans in this fic are just so much fun. I'm not even really in the fandom, but I reread this fic when I want good vibes.
Coat and Cowl by @iselsis - 14k, gen, T, creator chose not to use archive warnings
Bruce Wayne is tracking a human trafficking ring dealing in children when he comes across a young boy stealing his tires.
Selkie Jason Todd fic!
SELKIE FIC! SELKIE FIC! SELKIE FIC! I love selkies, I love Jason, no more needs to be said, this fic is so good.
Avatar: the Last Airbender
An Ember in the Ashes by SlytherinDemigod18 - 8k, gen, T, graphic depictions of violence
It began with a rebellion.
It began with a revelation.
It began with a whisper.
I love fics that focus on those on the periphery, and their perspectives on the action. I especially love seeing authors tackle the impact of the war on the rest of the world, and how ordinary people respond to it.
Hades
Bright by liibertus - >1k, Asterius/Theseus, G, no archive warnings apply
Asterius gets to Elysium. After Erebus, and before that, the Labyrinth, Elysium might as well be the surface of the sun. Kind of gen but Thesterius end game.
Asterius being panicked by how bright and open Elysium is compared to the Labyrinth makes so much sense to me, and this fic hits exactly the right note for how heartbreaking it is.
