#jester blogging

[confirmed-and-contorted]

*jingles your jester, violently, to the tune of ‘jingle bells’.*

[sir-big-bass-knight-of-ur-mum]

“Say please jester” -the king

The jester gets on his knees slowly and sensually

“Go fuck yourself” - jester to the king

[confirmed-and-contorted]

guards! honk his titties.

[confirmed-and-contorted]

*stuffs your jester into a comically large burlap sack and tosses it down the stairs.*

[confirmed-and-contorted]

i think we, as a society, need to abuse jesters more. we’ve been too lax and kind to them for far too long.

[sir-big-bass-knight-of-ur-mum]

I’ve forgotten a key aspect of jesters…. They are always rage baiting. Cuz now I need to strangle this man over his usage of the word “gooning”. Just cuz you have bells and are a silly boy doesn’t mean you won’t get the sword

[sir-big-bass-knight-of-ur-mum]

Sad= funny, which means get ready for a load of giggles mi lord, the knight is feeling like a jester on this day

[sir-big-bass-knight-of-ur-mum]

I walk into the courts ball, my armor is painted red and green like Santa Claus. I’ve replaced my knights plume with a Santa hat. My sword when drawn is a set of reindeer antlers. I jingle when I walk as I’ve covered my armor in sleigh bells, and I’m even wearing an ugly Christmas sweater over my armor. The first question that comes to my mind is where the egg nog is…. There’s just one problem with all of this. Today’s date is October 31’st and though I have proclaimed the good word of Mariah Carrey, I am booed off the stage at the Halloween party