things you said
prompt: things you said that i wish you hadn’t
pairing: jungkook x reader
genre: angst
wordcount: 2338
Walking into your university’s building after a long weekend, you noticed your best friend Sofy sitting on the desks next to the big window wall, diligently going through her notes. You sped up your walk, letting out a relieved sigh at her sight and approached her slouched figure. With a big thud, you let your bag fall onto the ground and sat down beside her, making her straighten her posture and look up at you in confusion.
“Hey”, you sighed, moving a hair strand out of your face. “What are you studying?”
Her lips curved into an annoyed smile as she leaned back to show you her notes. “Japanese history. We have to do this stupid group presentation and you know how bad I suck at delivering presentations. I hate that professor.”
You grinned at her words. “I’m sure you’ll be fine. At least you don’t have to present it alone.”
She nodded before moving her notes to the side and turning back to look at you. “So? What happened yesterday? I mean, you texted me but I’m still confused as to what was actually going on.” Her face was covered in a mixture of worry and curiosity.
Only thinking about the event made you go sick. Never in your life had you experienced such a feeling of anger and frustration so bad that it made you go numb and sick at the same time, wanting to cry, scream and throw up all at once. Your hands started shaking again and tears welled up in your eyes as you shook your head at your best friend, trying to swallow the feeling of nausea.
“It’s a lot to explain, I don’t really want to talk about it”, you whispered.
Happily, you walked into your classroom, relieved that the semester only had two weeks left and was coming to an end. Finally you would be free and do whatever you wanted without feeling guilty for neglecting university work.
As you walked into the room, you saw him sitting on his usual spot. Instead of rushing to you with a loud exclamation of his nickname for you, paired with a huge grin on his face like he usually did, he kept staring down onto his phone, inserting his earphones and completely ignoring your presence. Your beaming smile directed at him slowly faded, as you sat down across from him in confusion.
Slowly, you took out your books as the classroom filled with more of your classmates, laughs echoing but you were stuck in silence. Deep in thoughts, you didn’t notice when the last missing part of your small group of three arrived, your friend Han. She sat down next to you as usual, but you were oblivious to that until you heard her whisper into your ear:
“Don’t talk to him today okay? He called me yesterday night and was really upset because of you. I’ve never seen him this angry.”
Irritated, you turned around to face her and raised an eyebrow. “He’s angry? At me? Why? What did I do?”
Han shook her head and only whispered “later” when the professor walked in and class started.
-
Ten minutes before class was supposed to end, Jungkook rushed out of class, excusing himself because he “had to go to work”. You knew him better than your classmates or your professor though and you knew that he never had to work for anything in his whole life. He was simply avoiding you.
Your heart clenched in your chest as you saw one of your closest friends walk out in anger, ignoring you so obviously on purpose while you didn’t even know what he was so pissed about. As class ended, Han lead you to the cafeteria where she bought herself lunch and you just sat across from her, waiting for her to explain.
“You really don’t know why he’s so furious?”, she asked you with a questioning look on her face as she shoved some weirdly smelling broccoli into her mouth.
“No, so can you please enlighten me?”, you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms in front of your chest. Slowly but surely you were getting annoyed by this whole situation.
“You made him wait and never apologized.”
Saying that you were startled would be an understatement.
“What, when? What are you talking about?”, by now your forehead was starting to hurt from scrunching your eyebrows together. Nothing made sense to you.
“He confessed to you last week even though he wasn’t planning to and we told him not to do it because of all the stress with finals. As it was out there already then, he goes for it and asks you on a date. You unexpectedly say yes and let me tell you that Sofy and I definitely did not reckon with that. And yes, before you even ask - we both knew about his feelings for you. Anyway, you said yes and he called both of us right after the date, practically gushing over how perfect it went and that you agreed on going on a second date. Yet, when he messaged you and asked when you want to go on that second date, you took days to respond. That’s not cool (Y/N)”, Han finished her explanation with a judging look on her face and went back to eating whatever that was that was sitting on her plate.
“Hold up. I never agreed to a second date. And I definitely did not take days to answer. You know me, I don’t do that”, somehow this situation made you feel really attacked and misunderstood. That was not at all how it went.
“Well, Jungkook said so and was pretty pissed. He was waiting for your answer and was really excited but when you finally answered, you declined and didn’t even apologize for taking so long. You literally said, and I quote, ‘why should I apologize for something I can’t influence?’“, her fork was playing with the salad she had gotten with the main dish while her eyes were drilling through yours.
“Did you read the messages?”, you simply asked. She shook her head and continued eating.
“Then I will tell you what happened from my point of view okay? If you are my friend, you know I would never do something like that. He messaged me last Friday, asking for that second date, yes. But I was at work until late that day and couldn’t answer his text. When I got home later that night, I forgot that I had a message but I responded that same night shortly before going to bed. I told him that he misunderstood my answer”, you weren’t done yet but Han interrupted you.
“How can one ‘misunderstand’ an answer? It’s either yes or no.”
Slowly you were getting frustrated because she apparently had already picked sides - if there was something like sides in this situation - and wouldn’t even let you finish explaining.
“We went to my place after the date and he asked me how I thought of it and I said it was cool because it felt like we were two friends chilling and not really like a date. Jungkook then went on to ask if I’d like to chill like that again then and I said well yeah, like friends for sure. That for me was the soft way of friend-zoning him. Additionally, before going on that date, I told him that I currently only see him as a friend but if he really has feelings for me, I’m willing to give it a shot and see if maybe I was just blind this whole time. He agreed and accepted that. I also explained to him that he might have misunderstood my answer to his question regarding a second date. I explained that I don’t think it’d be a good idea to go on another date because I don’t reciprocate his feelings and I didn’t want to hurt him by leading him on. We had a little fight because he said that I took too long to respond and that’s when I said that I can’t influence the times that I work nor when he messages me so I would not apologize for not responding immediately. He accepted that as well and everything was fine. When I asked him if he needed space now he said I should just act normal. But now all of a sudden he’s pissed?”, your tone turned into a harsher one towards the end, emotions slowly taking over. You were such good friends. Why did this have to happen?
“(Y/N), you have to change your behavior. Not texting people back is honestly so rude. You have to change if you want to keep us as friends”, was all Han responded before grabbing her plate and standing up. “C’mon, we gotta go to class.”
“She really said that? I mean, of course it hurts if you have to wait for an answer like that for several hours but damn you were at work. What do they expect?”, Sofy was getting pissed on your behalf now as well and her already pretty high pitched voice had risen even more.
“So then what? Did he turn up to the next period? You usually sit next to each other there, don’t you?”
You nodded and sighed. “Yeah we sit next to each other in that class and he did show up but I wasn’t having any of his bullshit so I sat with others. If he was ignoring me, I could do the same to him. After class, I wanted to escape fast and go home but we usually have to take the same bus to the train station so there was no escape. Han left with the words ‘You two should talk’ and we stood there at the platform, both fuming and not looking at each other.”
Sofy moved closer in anticipation and her eyes were widely looking at you, waiting for the following words:
“I started talking and said that I’m sorry that I hurt him like that. I didn’t mean to do that. He was my best friend - besides you - and I just didn’t want to lose him. But you know what he did at those words?”
She attentively shook her head. “No, what?”
You clenched your teeth together and inhaled deeply. “He huffed and rolled his eyes at me. When I said that he was my best friend and I didn’t want to lose him, he huffed and rolled his eyes at me!”
Tears were about to fall out of your eyes again, so you quickly blinked them away and continued: “He then interrupted me and said that he thought better of me. He didn’t think I’d stoop so low. That I was such a cruel bitch. That he’d mean more to me than those other dudes I apparently had done this to before. He even went on to say that I lead him on. When did I ever lead him on, Sofy? I told him from the beginning that I didn’t have any feelings for him but that I was willing to try it if he accepts that! But he has the nerve to tell me, I lead him on. Oh and he accused me of acting like nothing had happened when I clearly asked him if he wanted space but he specifically said, I should act normally! He said so many hurtful things to me Sofy. So many. I was shaking, tears were rolling down my cheek but he was also crying. It hurt so much to see him like that but it also hurt like hell to hear those words from him. Luckily, my train arrived in that moment and I just left. That’s when I texted you and almost threw up on the other passengers.”
Your hands were shaking again and the sickness was overwhelming. The hurt and the broken trust was just too much to handle, especially during exam season. Just as Sofy was about to put her hand on your knee in comfort, you saw his figure outside of the window, walking unknowingly in your direction. Hastily, you stood up, making Sofy back away in surprise.
“I needed to pee anyway. Please don’t tell him, I was here”, you threw at your best friend before making your way upstairs to the bathrooms.
Being extra slow, not wanting to be confronted by Jungkook like that again, you waited longer than usual before leaving the restrooms. Just as you went around the corner of the hallway out of the restroom section, you saw him standing there, waiting for you. Anger flamed up inside of you, yet you tried to stay calm. Crossing your arms in front of your chest to stop shaking, you nodded in his direction and walked past him, ready to flee.
That wasn’t his plan though.
Jungkook grabbed you by the arm, making you turn dramatically like they always do in those dramas on TV. Ironically, you enjoyed watching them but being in one in real life was completely different.
“C’mon (Y/N), don’t be mad, let’s forget about yesterday okay?”, with those words, he hugged your frozen frame, trying to ease the tension. Nevertheless, you were burning with anger inside. All the disappointment and hurt was gone in that moment, it was all anger. How dare he touch you like that after spitting hurtful insults at you the day before? So when he let go of you, you straightened your posture again and turned to walk down the stairs.
“I will never forget about yesterday”, was what you said before rushing down the stairs. You saw Sofy watching both of you from her seat and she wasn’t the only one. Other students had caught onto the scene as well, curiously waiting for what would happen next.
That’s when you heard him shout from the top of the stairs, making you halt midway. “At least I’m not giving up on this friendship like you are doing!”
