#john critical

[small-scale-majestic]

Is it just me, or is Dean’s NYC Johnecdote™️ in 10x09 The Things We Left Behind the most boring, emotionally ungenuine thing ever written?

Just me? Okay.

[samwinchesterism]

not to be cheesy about cw supernatural ever again and im not talking about how i feel about the rest of this episode (or season) at all but this specific single moment in 14.13 made me emotional and i can’t believe a scene about shitty white people food casserole made me cry or that late-seasons spn had an actual affecting emotional moment but here we are

the way that sam says this makes my heart shatter bc he sounds like he’s trying to, like, join in, a little bit? dean always had the memory of that casserole from when mary was alive, one of the things he had to hold on to from the short-lived normal part of his childhood, and of course john was familiar with it - “that casserole of hers,” just dripping with fond familiarity - and of course it’s mary’s thing. so the three other winchesters all have this happy idyll associated with this stupid casserole, but sam? sam’s only way of relating to this thing shared by the rest of them is that one bad memory of a failed endeavour coupled with his father’s violent anger and grief and yet he still tries so hard to relate to what john is saying, that familiarity of that casserole of hers, that thing the rest of his family is connecting over even though there’s nothing there for him but a painful memory. and this must be all too common a feeling bc in other flashbacks (3.08) he’s yelled at by dean as a child for ever asking about mary (not criticism, dean was also a traumatized and abused child), so he was completely shut out from even trying to remember her the way john and dean did even as the loss of her seeped into every aspect of his life 

just, the way that sam’s experiences are often so fundamentally disconnected from the rest of his family’s and that’s never been more on display than here when he just has nothing but this painful memory to recall when everyone else has the happy home to reminisce about, and i’m sure it’s not lost on him that the happiest parts of everyone else’s lives in his family is the before-sam era of their lives, and yet he still tries it, tries to partake in the connection in the only way he can because he does want to connect so badly, he wants to feel like he’s a part of this even though he knows he never fit in this dynamic properly, not when it was him and dean and john back then, nor when it’s him and dean and mary now, and just the way whenever sam reaches out for connection it’s never returned back to him quite right and it breaks my heart i’m getting incoherent now but someone please hug him

[unhingedsammy]

I’m driving myself insane. 

Sam is an attachment to his brother and father. Hes Mary’s last gift to John, and Deans little brother. Sam is also the reason all hell broke loose with no fault to himself. Sam is in constant limbo with his life. When he actually meets his mom shes scared of him. John’s last words was proclaiming that dean might  to off him. Dean gaslights him, though he actually loves him. (A little too much) 

Yet Mary, John, and Dean are all obsessed with making sure nothing happens to Sam. “Watch out for Sammy!” Mary died running into Sams nursery, knowing what would happen. His whole family is the “when to hug your child, when to kill them.” 

[benevolentsam]

john winchester looked at his son and said you are a monster. his family kills things for a living and travel town to town and without real identities, and his son doesn’t want to do this for the rest of his life, can’t stomach killing things anymore, couldn’t pull the trigger when his godfather taught him to shoot deer. his son, who cried when he found out that monsters were real, and cried after his first hunt, and ran away from the life to stop being haunted by the things he’d killed starting with his mom. the son, who calls these things creatures instead of monsters, because on of his high school lit teachers told him that saying frankenstein’s monster is too definitive of the creature’s morality, and he now he can’t be sure every creature is a monster. john winchester looked that child in the eyes and said you are a monster, not for what you’ve done but who you are, he said killing things is right but only in the right way and powers are wrong even if you use them to save people. he told his other son to kill his younger brother, because sammy is a monster, without even a hint of irony.

[deanwasalwaysbi]

"My entire life you've protected me. From Dad. From Lucifer. From everything."

Named at the end, in discussion about killing god, before Lucifer. John Winchester Might Be an Asshole

[tragedynatural]

[eruthiawenluin]

How come every meta that people write to prove that John was abusive centers around Dean when there is more concrete onscreen evidence to prove that he abused Sam? I mean, if you are trying to prove that John was an abuser then wouldn’t Sam’s experiences be the logical place to start?

[cagetraumasam-archive]

—rupi kaur