#johnegbertfictive

[fictionkinfessions]

Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, my name is John. We exist. I dont give a damn what any epilouges or james roach fanfiction have to say.

-John Egbert (fictive/soulbond)

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[fictionkinfessions]

my relationship with my source gender is so fucking fucked, dude.

i'm a trans man. and apparently, in my source. i'm going to be made a trans woman. which, i feel i need to specify, like, good for her! but that's not. me. the name she's most likely going to choose to go by is going to be my deadname. it fucking sucks! because i fucking hate my deadname! i hate the idea of being someone's daughter again. but it looks like slowly, the entire fandom is abandoning the identity i've grown to feel comfortable in.

the homestuck fandom is a minefield, and back in 2020 i used to get so much hate already. i can already imagine it being so much worse if i talked about it on our blog. people constantly telling me i'm wrong, that i have to be wrong. the constant deadnaming me. people fucking hate fictives that aren't exactly like their source, man. even more so when source evolves without them. i don't want to deal with that again.

i don't know if i'm overreacting or what, but i'm so fucking terrified constantly every time i see her name. she's not me. but everybody thinks she is. i'll never escape her because in all aspects but the direction of transition, we are one in the same. and i just have to learn to cope with that, i guess.

john egbert fictive (#👾💫)

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[fictionkinfessions]

i've kept it secret that i'm a system from most of my irl friends, but recently i reconnected with one of my old friends and found out they also have DID and they're so open about it. they told my best friend of 17 years about their system and to my genuine shock, he was really well informed and super supportive and understanding...

it's really hard and scary to tell people in our real life that not only are there other people in my head, but some are fictional characters, yet my dear friend was able to so easily and was accepted with open arms. i'm proud of them and happy for them, they deserve this acceptance! i'm just also envious in a way

i really want to tell people, but the idea of it changing our relationship, of our friends treating us differently, of them not understanding and realizing that they've met most of us even if they didn't realize it... it's all so terrifying

i guess i just needed to ramble, thanks for listening

-john egbert (fictive)

[fictionkinfessions]

(Post on 4/13 please) hi john. happy birthday. i miss you more than you’ll ever fucking know and i’m so sorry things went so south between us. i loved you a lot. i’m glad were reconnecting now, though i know you won’t see this. and happy birthday to you too jane. we don’t get along all that much all things considered, with kat being my boyfriend and everything but… i hope you’re both doing well. and to any other stuckies out there: happy 4/13. - dave strider (#☀️🌊, mpc please tag as fictive)

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[fictionkinfessions]

(please post 4/13) Happy birthday John! We're still reading our source (in 2021, i know) but it's good to see our adventures again, even if some of us regret what happened. We hope you have a great day!

- Dave and Jade fictives (#🍊☀️💕)

[fictionkinfessions]

(4/13 message! tag as fictive please.)

happy 4/13 to all the homestucks, and happy birthday to all the egberts and crockers out there! - june (and john! he's here too, i'm just the one typing.)

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[fictionkinfessions]

happy 4/13! me and the other homestuck fictives in mu system are working together to make a full complete guide to SBURB! including all the in game lore, all complex game mechanics, mobs, npcs and much more!

i hope everyone is having a wonderful 4/13 and i can't wait til the guide is public! :B

-john egbert

[fictive-confessions]

i'm scarcely connected to my canon at all. my timeline was so different, i'm amazed i figured it out. spinny at least has recognizable ties, but our game was so different. and i was so different. canon john, i don't really get you in so many ways. - jaya (aka john) egbert of the circuits system (#🐝 🖥️)

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