#joke rant

[levorta]

while i don’t particularly care for glee i respect and even admire people that do. that being said... i HATE the glee version of toucha toucha touch me. i hate it so much. it just sounds terrible. every tiktok using touch toucha touch me i open the comments and EVERY SINGLE ONE IS “they sang this on glee”. they didn’t sing this on glee. they slaughtered this on glee. they made a mockery of this on glee. the glee version of toucha toucha touch me is the worst version of any song i’ve ever heard and i am PERSONALLY offended by it. you want to make your little glee references in any other context, fine by me, go right ahead, have fun. never ever, when i talk about rocky horror, bring up mr shoe or whatever his name is. that autotuned disgrace of a cover has taken years off of my life. that’s all.

[yummatumtum]

Why was Bobert labeled “Robotic,” the episode was alr and all but robotic?!?? Tell us something we dont know. I mean i get the labels are supposed to be an actual character trait or something but the point is that its exaggerated, Boberts trait doesnt even have to be exaggerated because hes a robot!!! They could have done “Literal” or “Emotionless” (emotionless is inaccurate to his character but im just throwing stuff out there), maybe “outdated” (considering hes not the newest model). But nooo, “robotic,” because thats original, i would have LOVED to see him look funny or act funny, like Tobias or Leslie. “Oh, Jimmy, why are you ranting and being dramatic over an episode that had no plot relevance? Let alone a scene under 2 seconds long where they showed what his label said? Hes a side character for crying out loud!” Because im bored!!! This is what happens when a niche character doesnt get an episode!!! The few but die hard fans get a lil mad!! IM FINE TO OVERREACT BECAUSE IM NOT BEING SERIOUS. I want to yap about something and this just happens to be it!

Anyways should i do a Bobert character analysis?

[grooseswife]

I hate when my baby is abused or neglected in fics (like extremely out of character and the biggest asshole on earth)

How could one ever do that to the king 💔

[satanstipofthetail]

I'm glad spiders don't have rights

Just to be clear, I don't have arachnophobia, my fear of spiders is purely racism driven. Specism. Arachnism.

Today there was a giant spider in my bathroom, it was sitting on my toothbrush. It was the 3rd big spider I found in the house during last 6 months. They were all roughly the size of the top of a big coke can. For the sake of the narrative I will give them the names: Micheal (the biggest one and the first one I saw, he was under my bed), Rodney (smaller than Micheal, he ran from under the sofa) and Ziggy (smaller than Rodney, saw him today, sitting on my toothbrush). Micheal was a little bigger than an average field mouse and Rodney was about the diameter of the top of a big coke can.

I'm not afraid of small spiders, those are easy to squish. I don't like the big spiders, those could jump me. Also when the big spiders are smashed their viscera explodes everywhere and it is disgusting. But oh "spiders are useful to the environment" OKAY, THEY ARE USEFUL I JUST DON'T WANT TO SEE THEM.

One of my current fears is that I wake up one day and there is a giant spider on my face. My biggest fear is that Michael was actually Michelle and there is a spider cocoon behind my bed. Such big spiders are only in my house for some reason. Imma about to pull a revolver and go American Student on every spider I see. Yes, that includes Michael's/Michelle's hypothetical kids, damn arachners.

In conclusion, I am glad that spiders don't have rights. No one will arrest me when I crash the one that lives next door.

[azacat-alias-lost]

q is a fundamentally unnecessary letter to the english language. i get that its needed for others but in english you can accomplish the same shit with k. question vs kuestion. pronounced the exact same. quick vs kuick. quill vs kuill. quiet vs kuiet. same shit. get that shit outta here give that job to k

edit. the linguists are after me and i have been proven wrong. deepest apologies to @flightplanforghosts , @gayeilgeoir , and especially my beloved mutuals @scarbleu and @nyllyte . This was meant to be a shitpost to make people mad and it immediately worked way too well so i am. chickening out lmao

[vivaciousprocrastinator]

How tf do introverts do it man

Bro I didn't talk to anyone(minus texting) all weekend since nobody was available and I'm drained asf 💀

Tumblr is literally a substitute for social interaction at this point smh

[lilythecaattt]

Just going to nitpick physics for a second 😁

Note: This is a joke rant. Don’t murder me :’)

MISSED. OPPORTUNITY. TO JUST MAKE IT A HORN PIERCING.

How does that ring there not fall off?? Did he tape it on?? Does he just- move very little, or in a specific way that it DOESNT fall off in canon?? I feel if I shook him around just SLIGHTLY it would fall off bru- 😭

Or he jumps in the wrong direction, or moves too fast? There it goes rolling across the floor! STH.Ring.drop.sfx!

He has such a serious expression—but every. time. I look at this guy. My eyes go to that dumb little teeny tiny ✨shiny✨ design choice, and I just go—why?

Don’t get me wrong! I actually find it funny how mildly infuriated I get, so it’s not just pure hatred towards whoever went “You know what? We’re putting this on the horn’s little spike with no visible way it’s being kept on!”… BUT AUSGHWHDJE

Obligatory slight AU Tangent

MEDKIT is the reason I went crazy with my theories/PHIGHTING AU stuff about Inphernal Horn Styling/Grafting!! THEY CAN PIERCE THEIR HORNS, AND IF THEY DECIDE THEY DONT WANT A GAPING HOLE IN THEIR HORNS? COOL IT CAN BE PATCHED UP ARTIFICALLY, OR REGROWN TO FIX IUT.

AHH Medkit isn’t even TRYING and he’s driving me CRAZY- No. NO. DO NOT MAKE ME START WITH SUSBPACE.-…

Who the heck is sus b. pace.

[cvbullshit]

I'm seeing Geno x Dust be referred to as Dustyscarf/Dustedsave and I....

Imma fight people

MURDERVICTIM IT'S MURDERVICTIM

I-

M U R D E R V I C T I M

MURDERVICTIM MY BELOVED

WHAT IS THIS OTHER SHIP YOU SPEAK OF???

I'm so angry this makes me sad and disappointed in humanity

WHERE IS THE CREATIVITY, WHERE IS THE PUNS, THE REFERENCES???

DUSTY. SCARF.

REALLY???

DUSTED. SAVE.

SERIOUSLY?

Yk what, no, this is it, I'm done