#junk junk junk

[thartmew]

i dunno

[rainyday-deer]

I colored the AU junk

[thartmew]

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Have I ever mentioned how much I love the Yamaha DX7 presets?  Because I love the DX7 presets.

[macabrecabra]

... at least I can write something tonight. That is one creative thing I still have some talent in.

[viktopia]

I saw this video the other day and just had to get this out of my system. Hawke with a man bun (and bonus hipster Fenris) :T whoops.

[happypsyduckanon-blog]

somehow still in the running for job, absolutely incredible given what i gave the person hiring was 2 a.m. shit but hey i'm not complaining

need to figure out interview clothes though??? i'll have to wear my most businessy sweatshirt.

[starf]

L O V E

I want you to define love, right here, right now. Go ahead. Stop everything. Read no further than this first paragraph and then take a moment to step within the confines of yourself. I want you to search deep within your mind, deep within your soul, and even deeper into the core of who you are as a human being and find that personal definition of the thing that we all refer to as love. Go ahead, find it.

Have you located the definition? Have you dragged it to the surface of your brain? Good.

Now bury it quickly, lest you lose it forever.

Many of us can agree on a basic framework when it comes to the general feelings of human beings. We all know the indicators of happy, sad, angry, and so on and so forth. We use terms excessively when dealing with emotion but our inflections tell the tale of how much weight we burden the words with. We are not lost on ourselves... Until we stumble upon that strange emotion we have collectively entitled "love."

Perhaps it was our own fault. In this society built and crumbling upon a mountain of hyperbole we have been conditioned to reach straight for the top shelf when it comes to language. I love you, they would claim no more than ten minutes after talking about how much they love these potato chips. How flattering that must feel to be loved in the same manner as a simple snack, or maybe those potato chips were actually the most amazing potato based snack that have ever graced this hypothetical person's mouth. I suppose we can't know for sure.

But how easy it is to claim love. It is the reason we had to create the vernacular of "in love." Now much like a Pokemon "love" has stages and can evolve. "I love you like a friend." "I love these potato chips." But no, once you are in love, now it has become a serious condition.

How strange it must be, to be in love. For I thought love was a human emotion, and therefore must reside in you?

Love is an elusive concept that is sometimes hard to grasp because people seem to put different constraints on its meaning. We all view love differently, it would seem. Being such a hyperbole it is difficult to agree on just what makes love... love. Yes, we know it is an extremely positive measure towards someone or something in the most intense degree - but when you add personal values the definition becomes skewed. So I cannot define love, I can only tell you a tale of my own.

Here I stand on a platform suspended directly in the center of a spherical room. A dampened blue light illuminates the walls all around me, and I can see that they are a dull metallic variety of gunmetal black. I am about to fall in love, I just don't realize it yet. I stand and look around wearily, there is no escape - soon this room will be alive with all the glorious symptoms of love.

And with a sickening snap somewhere I can't quite be bothered to audibly hear, it begins.

Like a cannon my heart fires round after round of heavy artillery into my bloodstream. The pounding is as intense as the shock waves that rumble throughout my extremities. Like a carbonation is fizzing throughout my blood, I can feel the walls of my skin reverberating. The hair on my arms immediately stands on edge as if to try and make escape from this calamity within. Biology inverts on itself, every cell of my body dancing in entropic unison. Feeling as though I've been struck everywhere at once I struggle to take in the air my lungs crave, and yet I can't help but smile against these crippling circumstances.

Psychology flips. Everything that tells me I should run cements my legs into place, and then as I weaken I buckle to my knees instead. Frozen, I do not panic -- instead I smile wider and somewhere back in the logical part of my mind I wonder if perhaps I am now hallucinating because the walls have taken on new properties. The platform I am now kneeling on seems to spin, or perhaps the entire globe around me; it has become too hard to tell. A myriad of colors skims the walls in various directions like the ghostly contrails of invisible rockets. They shine and glimmer and everything becomes a half-step more vibrant than it was just moments ago. The colors are beautiful and whole, a gradient beyond my wildest dreams graces the walls. Colors I have never seen and could never possibly imagine, proving that what I am witnessing must truly be real.

And then it all explodes into a climactic finale that ruins me. I feel as though my organs are making haste to escape. My body wants to rip open and reverse itself until I am no longer reminiscent of a human being. My lungs want to escape this grotesque cage and finally claim air of their own right rather than live vicariously through my esophagus. My heart is the leader of this rebellion and refuses to surrender against all odds. My brain attempts to reason with it, but now even my brain is taken with the glimmer of glorious love. My environment a lovely distraction of colors, a buffet of diversion to the mouth of my brain -- my eyes. The sound in my ears is still a deafening shade of perfection. Sensory overload would be far too much an understatement for a scene like this.

I feel it come together and spark against reality, my body explodes into a colorful mist at the same time the sphere collapses inward... I am engulfed and compressed into a ball of hazardous beauty. Before my consciousness fades into an incomprehensible amalgamation of feelings I know only one fact: I am now in love, and there is no separation from hereon out.

Back in reality, where none of this would appear to be happening from the perspective of another, I sit back and I try to remain calm. Because every time I fall in love this is the scene within myself. This is a small portion of the experience.

And this is how I feel every time I'm listening to music.