StarF likes punk music and pizza.

If ya don't die young, you're gonna live too long. Minnesota Missile. This is my first and "main" blog where I post whatever-the-fuck. I actually have separate blogs for both reblogging specifically (sorry-bloggingwontsolveanything.tumblr.com) and for anything concerning my raps (starfraps.tumblr.com) OKAY.

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StarF's Top Ten Albums Of 2025

Let's get into it! A lot of great albums this year and narrowing it down to just ten was TOUGH. A real quick honorable mention goes to the album Ego Death At A Bachelorette Party by Hayley Williams. It came out in early November but I didn't hear it for the first time until just a few days ago, and honestly if I had been listening to it when it originally came out it might have made the top ten. I even considered putting it in, but I couldn't bring myself to do it at this point.

As for the rest of the list... HERE IT IS!

10. The Mountain Goats - Through This Fire Across From Peter Balkan

The Mountain Goats are back with another album, and I am loving it! I've always enjoyed TMG but the amount that their albums individually connect with me can vary quite a bit. Personally this is the most I've enjoyed one of their albums since 2013's Beat The Champ, so it is a pretty high mark for me.

This concept album follows the story of a crew of 16 on a fishing boat that gets wrecked in a bad storm, following our survivors through their journey of survival. The first thing they learn is how strong they can be when they have to, and the next thing they learn is how cold it can get at night.

9. The Real Zebos - ZEBOHATER

The Real Zebos put out a lot of music this year, as it turns out. A tremendous amount with a punishing amount of style, actually. But amidst all the style they also put out this album proper, ZEBOHATER. Something about this album, even though it is brand new, really brings me back to the early 2000s. It gives me big We Are Scientists vibes, but with the Zebos own pop and rock sensibilities. I liked it when I first listened to it, and over the year the infectious nature of the tunes have only grown on me. I find myself with at least one of these songs stuck in my head all the time.

8. Anxiety Machine - dissociation music

I don't really know what to say about this except for that I love the vibes. Vibes all the time. Any time this year I needed to zone out, or just have something on in the background to hear something I was reaching for this album. I've always enjoyed Anxiety Machine for that sort of thing, but I think this album really nailed something with how the soundscapes are put together, and for that I have to acknowledge it in my top ten.

7. The Taxpayers - Circle Breaker

What an exciting entry for me!!! I've been a major fan of The Taxpayers for a little over 15 years at this point, and they haven't put out a full album release since 2016's Big Delusion Factory. When they announced this new album I was immediately locked in, and while it wasn't my favorite from them on my first listen it very quickly grew on me.

I also had the absolute pleasure to catch them on tour this year, which was the first time I was able to see them live, and their show was an absolute blast. Folk punk is alive and well in 2025, and Circle Breaker is a great album full of both cynicism and hope for the future.

6. Joey Valence & Brae - HYPERYOUTH

Holy hot damn, do you want to have some FUN?! JVB exploded onto the scene a few years ago and I've had a great time listening to them, but this new album really blew me away in the best way possible. I cannot tell you how much time I spent getting hyped up while listening to this album, whether it was just for enjoyment, while working out, or seeing them live as well which was probably the most hype show I've been to since before COVID.

JVB are bringing their high energy hip hop on this album that is loaded with amazing guest features, and they are proving that they are here to stay and that levity still has a place in music - even if a lot of stuff in the world is terrible nowadays.

5. Buck 65 - Keep Moving

What a whirlwind of emotion as I write this and find out this release has been removed from Spotify (as Buck 65 - I just learned - is removing all of his music from Spotify). Just a few weeks ago I learned from Spotify Wrapped that this was my most listened to album of the year, and for good reason, it rules! Buck 65 returned a few years ago after a hiatus from music and returned to a more classic hip hop style, and it's been amazing.

Keep Moving is a mixtape/album that is just a joy to put on and rock with. The lyrics are sharp, the breaks are clean, and the vibes are immaculate. You can still listen to this album online, and you absolutely should.

4. bbno$ - bbno$

Definitely the album on my list that least needs an introduction, bbno$ is literally everywhere these days. It's gotten to the point that no matter what media I'm consuming I assume there's at least a chance that bbno$ might show up.

While he's been consistently dropping bangers for years now, bbno$ has really outdone himself on his new self-titled album. This truly does feel like a defining project and his best to date, and I've been bumping it consistently ever since it came out. While I'm surprised and confused that some of the singles didn't make it to the album (I'm looking at you, antidepressents), it doesn't stop this nearly an hour long album from being an absolute powerhouse of catchy jams.

3. Viagra Boys - viagr aboys

This album absolutely steamrolled me the first time I heard it. I've been aware of Viagra Boys for years now, and while I've enjoyed some of their previously releases they never really clicked for me in a way that made me go "I love this band." So when I heard they put out a somewhat self titled album this year, I didn't check it out right away.

Months later I finally put it on and I was immediately hooked on the first listen. I don't know what it is about this album versus their previous work, but this one caught my attention in a whole new way. Every single track on this thing is catchy, weird, rocking, and bizarre. I love how crazy this band is, and I love listening to this album.

2. Aesop Rock - Black Hole Superette

To the surprise of absolutely no one, Aesop Rock nearly tops my list here. I thought that 2016's The Impossible Kid was going to be a high water mark that couldn't be topped, but Aes keeps proving over and over again that there is plenty of gas left in his creative tank. This isn't even the only full album that he put out this year! So shout out to I Heard It's A Mess There Too, which is also a great album - but not nearly as good as Black Hole Superette in my opinion.

This album features another collection of cryptic lyrics on top of bumping funky beats, some songs that are straightforward and some that will keep you digging into the lyrics to figure out just what Aes is trying to convey. You'll learn new facts about the world, you'll learn new facts about Aes, you'll have a great time visiting the corner shop that you cannot simply leave.

1. DURRY - This Movie Sucks

DURRY is truly something special, and I'm stoked to be on the ground floor of such an amazing band as they break out. I remember hearing their first big viral hit a few years ago on Tiktok, Who's Laughing Now, and immediately thinking this was a band to keep an eye on.

This year they proved that I was right by putting out their sophomore album, This Movie Sucks, which is a triumph of rock. Twelve songs that are immediate ear worms, oozing with personality, and as relevant as they will be timeless. This movie may suck, but this album certainly does not. If you do check it out please also check out their music videos, as DURRY is putting in the work to make music videos that are incredibly fun to watch - probably the best band to do it since PUP started putting out their music videos.

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StarF's Top Ten Albums of 2024

To whom it may concern (no one) it's my top ten album list yet again!

2024 was a weird year for me and music, just because I feel like even though I listened to a bunch of stuff I didn't have a ton of albums that really grabbed me. Now obviously I do love all of these albums I'm about to list, but unlike other years none of them were far and away my standout top albums. That was probably just due to me having an insanely busy year (between planning and having a wedding, going on a honeymoon, and purchasing a house), and a lot of the music I listened to and that's being released nowadays comes in single form.

And this year I'm also going to throw in two honorable mentions!

Sophie Hunter - WAIL! The Toxhards - The Toxhards by The Toxhards (Side B)

The Sophie Hunter release was amazing and I listened to it a ton, but it's somewhere between an EP and an album and has been referred to in official capacities as both? I don't know, it was too confusing so I figured I'd leave it off the official list. The Toxhards one actually makes me mad because I've been waiting for this band to put out their debut album for years now, and instead they released an EP and then a Spotify playlist of the EP plus all of their singles and said "THIS is our debut album" and I'm unhappy about it. The music is great though.

Now ONTO THE ACTUAL LIST!

10. Poppy - Negative Spaces

Poppy is back and in her metal form! While Zig was fine but maybe a little boring and Flux could have been cool but was mixed terribly (in my opinion), Negative Spaces gets back to an era more reminiscent of I Disagree but leaning more towards a play-it-straight metal album. There are still Poppy quirks, but all in all it's just a nice rock album to listen to.

9. Night Club - Masochist

I remember early in the year Mattari messaged me and told me to listen to Night Club. I don't think he explicitly mentioned that this was a new album, but I listened to it and immediately enjoyed it. Some dark electronic vibes, and some goth lyrics to tie it all together. If you don't pay too much attention it's a great vibe and if you do lean in it gets even better. I also constantly get the song "Pretty Girls Do Ugly Things" stuck in my head.

8. Alex Winston - Bingo!

Alex Winston is BACK! It has been over a decade since her last album, King Con, and she's returned with just as much fire as ever. Bingo! is a wonderfully crafted blend of pop and folk tunes that are guaranteed to hook you in and have you singing along by your second listen. Between the luscious production, ear worm melodies, and haunting lyrics there's nothing not to love about this album.

7. Combat - Stay Golden

Stay Golden is a prime example of why I don't put out my end-of-year list until January. First of all, the year isn't over. But also sometimes thanks to other people putting out their lists I discover an incredible album like this. I only heard it for the first time a couple weeks ago, but I immediately knew it was going on this list. With a sound that seems to meld influence from both My Chemical Romance as well as Bomb The Music Industry!, Combat has something special on their hands and I'm going to keep my ear on them moving forward.

6. The OBGMs - SORRY, IT'S OVER

The OBGMs (which stands for The oOohh Baby Gimme Mores) is a band that I also recently discovered right after this album came out. It just happened to cross my path, but once again it was immediate once I started listening that I knew it was something special. This one runs a little on the shorter side, but like the end of the world it burns bright and fast.

5. The Used - MEDZ

This one is a little interesting for me. When I saw that The Used had a new album out I was a bit surprised because I thought they had just released another album not too long ago. I gave MEDZ a shot though and I was quite impressed. Then I found out this is actually an album made up from B sides from the previous year's album Toxic Positivity, and album that while I thought was fine did not stick with me. I don't know if it was just the headspace I was in when I heard this, but MEDZ is a great time.

4. Sugar Pit - Shhh...Don't Jinx It

If there's anything I'm realizing while making this list it's that 2024 was the year of albums that took me by surprise. Sugar Pit is an artist I had never heard of until a random song from their new album slapped me in the face and forced me to investigate further. This eclectic pop album gives me big vibes from the late 2000s and early 2010s pop/electro/rock scene. Think artists like the style biters, Tub Ring, and The Show Is The Rainbow and you're pretty much there.

3. Tub Ring - Last And First Men

...And speaking of Tub Ring, guess who's back with another album?! Now here's an album that took me by surprise but in a completely different way. I've been a fan of Tub Ring for many years now, and while they aren't broken up they aren't exactly what I'd call an active band. So when they popped up with a new single and an album announcement I was ecstatic. Last And First Men came through with a mix of some of their most theatrical rock tunes following various stories of aliens, space exploration, and generally the human condition.

2. Cursive - Devourer

Another band that was definitely due for a new album and did not disappoint. Cursive has shown up with their best offering since I Am Gemini in my opinion. Devourer kicks off with the insanely great opener "Botch Job" and then just continues to kick ass all the way through in the way only Cursive knows how to do. It's dark, it's moody, and it's a great soundtrack to the end of the world as we know it.

1. Cheekface - It's Sorted

I was shocked to learn that this album came out in 2024. Granted, it was in January, but it feels like I've been jamming out to these tunes for years. There's something about the way Cheekface makes music that makes it feel like an instant classic the first time you hear it. If you want some quirky pop music that's easy to listen to and even easier to get stuck in your head, you can't do much better than this new album from America's local band, Cheekface.

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StarF's Top Ten Albums of 2023

WHAT A YEAR! I feel like as far as music 2023 got off to a somewhat slow start (with some exceptions), and then once summer hit it was banger after banger! It was definitely tough to narrow this one down, and there are plenty of great albums I wanted to include, but alas, a top ten is a top ten for a reason, so here are my ten entries! LET'S GOOO!

10. WSTR - 'Til The Wheels Fall Off

I truly don't even remember how I found out about this album, but I'm glad it fell into my lap one day. I think I just heard some song on a random Spotify mix and thought "what is this?!" Turns out the entire album is just some great pop punk. It feels like old pop punk but while still having enough modern sensibilities to keep it from feeling like it's only playing into nostalgia or stuck in the past sonically.

9. NOBRO - Set Your Pussy Free

This one snuck up on me! It came out right at the end of October, and I was so enamored with other albums that came out around that time (albums you'll almost certainly see later in this list, in fact), that I completely missed that it had come out! I eventually found out and was able to listen to it mid December, and NOBRO managed to sneak in as the latest entry to this list as far as me hearing it for the first time.

Don't let the potential recency bias fool you though, this album is immediate, fun, and catchy as hell. I've been saying NOBRO is the band to look out for ever since I heard their single Don't Die back in 2020, and I was correct. Between this new album and last year's Live Your Truth Shred Some Gnar NOBRO is absolutely crushing it.

8. Connor Price - Spin The Globe

Okay so this is where things are going to get a little tricky. Luckily this is the only entry in the list that comes with something of an asterisk, but you're gonna have to hear me out.

Spin The Globe comes in at just shy of 20 minutes, making it barely an album - and that's being generous. The issue is that Connor Price fits into a group of artists that has been emerging ever since streaming has become the primary way of consuming music, artists that just don't drop albums.

Spin The Globe as well as "Till Next Time" are listed as 2023 albums from Connor Price (their run time together still only equaling about 35 minutes), but then in addition to these he also dropped around 21 singles in 2023 that just don't exist in any formal collection. As someone who loves listening to albums this is super frustrating, but as someone who loves listening to Connor Price I also can't deny that whatever it is he's doing, it's working.

So while I do love Spin The Globe, you can also consider this entry to be the entirety of Connor's output in 2023, because goddamn he does not miss.

7. Waterparks - Intellectual Property

One of the albums that saved the early portion of the year from being super boring, Waterparks emerged with yet another collection of bangers. While I always enjoy what Waterparks have to offer, I feel like it's been awhile since they've hit my top ten, but Intellectual Property is definitely another high mark for them as they elevate from their "usually consistent" to "oh damn this is really good."

It's no surprise that the songs here are infectious as hell, catchy, and just plain fun to listen to. There have been many a time over the course of the year that I'll just be walking around and suddenly Funeral Grey is playing in my head, and every time Real Super Dark comes on I get immediately pumped.

6. Buck 65 - Super Dope

This album was an absolute treat early on in the year. I remember once again just listening to some Spotify mix and the song Challenge To The Underground started playing and I immediately thought "What Buck 65 album is this from?" This lead to me finding out it was a new song, which got me stoked. Then very quickly I found out there was an entire album attached to it, which was even more exciting.

Buck 65 returns to form on Super Dope and spends the 40 minute runtime just dropping bars and having fun, a look we haven't seen from him in quite some time. 2023 was an amazing year for hip hop releases, and this one clearly resonated with me.

5. Baby Gravy - Baby Gravy 3

This came out at just the right time for me personally. The last few years I've been vibing heavily with both Yung Gravy and bbno$, and even though they have plenty of collaboration before this I was specifically fiending for more. And you know what? I happened to get my wish, and it's living up to all my expectations.

Baby Gravy 3 is unabashedly fun, silly, and just an all around good time. These two work together so well and have been dropping bangers for so long that this comes across as a well oiled machine at this point, and even the tracks that I originally thought were kind of filler have grown on me, cementing this easily in my top five.

4. Chris Farren - Doom Singer

The moment I heard the first single from this album, Cosmic Leash, I knew this was going to be another perfect album from Chris Farren. With a knack for weaving personal stories, navigating emotions, all while somehow keeping it light and bouncy, Chris Farren delivers an album that will have you singing along by the end of your first listen to each song. Also be sure to check out the music videos, because they are wonderful.

3. Jeff Rosenstock - HELLMODE

Of course Jeff has to sit next to Chris on this list, it only makes sense. And while I definitely thought this was a shoe-in for my number one slot when it came out because HELLMODE is an incredible ride from start to finish, the next two albums came out after it and were absolute doozies, but we'll get there.

For now we're talking about Jeff Rosenstock, and how HELLMODE continues his legacy of putting out all killer, no filler records. Even though Jeff's style has been perfected over the years, each album brings its own vibes and stands out uniquely against the others, keeping them from all running together (I'm looking at you, new Front Bottoms album). HELLMODE specifically weaves throughout various Rosenstock styles and blends them together flawlessly. Whether it's the frantic BTMI!-esque engery of "HEAD," the poppy earworm that is "LIKED U BETTER," or the emotional rollercoaster of "3 SUMMERS," the one thing you can know for sure is that no matter what flavor of Rosenstock you're listening to you know it's going to rule.

2. Bear Ghost - jiminy

Goodness gracious this one snuck up and absolutely blindsided me this year. I've been a fan of Bear Ghost for years and routinely come back to their music every autumn (as I think their music gives off that kind of vibe). I knew that over the past couple years I had seen a couple new singles from them here and there, but I didn't think much of it. And then one day an entire new album was just on their page.

jiminy is a front to back banger, and I've listened to it front to back countless times since it dropped in late September. It's amazing how consistent the albums sound is while every song still has its own unique thing going on. It's a blast to sing along with, it's a joy to listen to, and the stories being told throughout the songs are fascinating. I know I'm going to be listening to this one a lot going into the future, and you should too.

1. Aesop Rock - Integrated Tech Solutions

This is it, this is Aes's best album since The Impossible Kid, and that's a hill I'm willing to die on. I don't know how it's possible for an artist who is so prolific to also be so consistently phenomenal. I knew I was going to like ITS from the moment it was announced and I heard the first single "Mindful Solutionism," but the grip this album had on me from the first time I played it cannot be understated. If this hadn't come out in mid-November right before Spotify stopped collecting data for Wrapped, it likely would have dominated my stats.

I can't express how impressive this thing is. In typical Aesop Rock fashion every song is a fascinating dive into unique topics you wouldn't necessarily even be thinking about otherwise, with masterful flows, intricate lyricism, and some of the smoothest and best production I've heard from a hip hop album in some time, it's just fire from front to back.

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StarF's Top Ten Albums of 2022

I know I usually wait until a bit into January to write my list, but honestly this year I didn't really have anything that grabbed my attention in a big way in December, and so I felt pretty ready to put together the list right away! So with that in mind, let's goooo!

I was nearly done with the list, and somehow hit a combination of keys that deleted everything back to this original paragraph. So I'm just going to make the list, but I'm not going to write out any comments on the albums. I doubt anyone has ever read them anyway. 😛

10. Backburner - Continuum

9. Special Interest - Endure

8. Schaffer The Darklord - The Derelict Craft

7. bbno$ - bag or die

6. NOBRO - Live Your Truth Shred Some Gnar

5. Wordburglar - Burgonomic

4. PUP - THE UNRAVELING OF PUPTHEBAND

3. Cheekface - Too Much To Ask

2. Jakey - ROMCOM

1. Qbomb - HYPERPUNK

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StarF's Top Ten Albums of 2021

IT'S TIME LET'S GOOO!!!

10. bbno$ - eat ya veggies

I'm not going to lie, I struggled hard with the #10 spot on this list. There were a ton of great albums in 2021 and narrowing down what wasn't going to make it on the list was tough. In fact up until just a couple days ago the number 10 spot was reserved for Greatest Hits by Waterparks, another cool album and their best release in awhile. All of this is sort of my way of cheating my own system and giving that Waterparks album the unofficial 11th spot on the list.

However, I realized that even now deep into January of 2022 that I'm still consistently listening to eat ya veggies and just having so much fun! This album definitely comes out swinging harder in the first half than the second, but it's still a fun ride the entire way through. And what I can only assume is a formula based on streaming and TikTok trends sees every song but one coming in at under three minutes, which means if you don't like a jam it'll be over soon.

In fact that may be my only real gripe with the album, because when I do like a song (such as the absolute banger that is "edamame") I wish it went on for a little longer. Obviously the entire point is to loop it faster to get more streams, but damn dude.

9. You, Me, And Everyone We Know - Something Heavy

I discovered the band You, Me, And Everyone We Know in 2015, which made their breakup in 2016 pretty tough to handle. I got in on what I thought was their final release (the Dogged EP) and fell in love with the back catalog. I even drove to Chicago to see their final show, which was an absolute blast.

So imagine my surprise and excitement when out of nowhere they dropped a new single and announced that they were releasing a new album. Something Heavy delivers a cautious optimism painted in the signature sound I've come to expect from this band. I wish there were more eyes, or ears as it were, on this band because they seem to be very underrated from what I can tell.

8. Timbuktu - It's Alright In The Daylight

Hey speaking of artists who sort of just came back out of nowhere, I've been a big fan of Timbuktu's album Stranger Danger for like a decade now. There was another album in 2014 that for whatever reason didn't really capture my attention in quite the same way, and then nothing for awhile. In 2020 Tim dropped Million Pound Note, which I enjoyed quite a bit but still didn't top my list. Given the pattern I expected it would be quite a wait until we saw another Timbuktu album again. But surprise! A year later another offering hot off the press, and this one is killer front to back.

It's Alright In The Daylight manages to recapture the energy and vibe that got me hooked on Stranger Danger back in the day. I don't know exactly what it is or how to explain it, but in my opinion it's his best album since then. If you're looking for some good chilled out hip hop then look no further than this album.

7. Fishboy - Waitsgiving

Oh boy, another storybook from none other than Fishboy! If you've read my lists before you'll no doubt be familiar with Fishboy, and my affinity for his album Art Guards. This new offering takes a similar approach in format, each song following a specific character as the album weaves together a narrative to follow.

While this particular story didn't captivate me in quite the same way that Art Guards does, it's still a wonderful addition to the catalog, and a fun journey to listen to. The pianos are bouncy, the guitars are jaunty, the tunes are catchy, and perhaps most of all it's nice to listen to music that's just not based in reality. If you still haven't given Fishboy a chance, this would be a fine place to start!

6. Marc With A C - low fidelity (or "how i spent the nervous breakdown")

While we all may be turbofucked, ttist and (full disclosure) someone I am delighted to be able to call my friend. Friends aside, that has no influence on where or why this album is on this list. It's here because it's a damn fine album. Throughout his discography up to this point I would say there are sort of two sides to Marc's music, a lot of the earlier albums which are mostly striped down jams based around an acoustic guitar, filling out more and more around Motherfuckers Be Bullshittin'. Low Fidelity is a massive (by today's standards) album that combines both avenues of Marc's music into a reflection of this world.

While we all may be turbofucked, at least we can go down with the ship listening to some good music. One of my favorite additions to this album that haven't been prevalent in previous Marc With A C albums is the addition of instrumental pieces such as Sleepwriting and Not Sure Exactly Where... that are gorgeous and give the album a good sense of pacing. This album serves as the final act of "Phase I" of Marc With A C, and it's a great finale to go out on. I'm excited to see where we go from here!

5. Telethon - Swim Out Past The Breakers

More nepotism?! No! I just have a lot of really cool friends who make incredible music! Telethon, who stunned me solid in 2017 with their album The Great Spontanean and kept the hype train moving in 2019 with Hard Pop have returned once again with a great offering in Swim Out Past The Breakers.

Having solidified their sound as the aforementioned hard pop, this album continues seeing them do what they do best: writing jams that are as catchy and infectious as they are dense and packed with feeling. Come for the fun tunes, and stay for the lyrics that will have you looking back on your life asking "why am I like this?," but, you know, in a good way.

4. The Death Set - How To Tune A Parrot

The Death Set released what I consider to be a perfect album back in 2011 called Michel Poiccard. Then they seemingly disappeared off the face of the Earth. A full decade later they re-emerged and didn't miss a step at all. Sounding fresh of the heels of their 2011 album, How To Tune A Parrot is still as fresh, electric, and vital as ever. I don't really have much else to say about this except you absolutely must give it a chance, because it is a wild ride.

3. Rare Americans - RA2

Rare Americans is a band I discovered in late 2020, and luckily I didn't have to wait too long to get the experience of listening to a new album from them! Actually I got that experience twice last year because they release both RA2 and RA3 within the year. The latter, also titled Jamesy Boy & The Screw Loose Zoo was literally also good enough to be on this top ten list. In fact in my first iteration of the list I had both albums on it. Ultimately though I decided to just give it up for what I think is the more solid of the albums and leave RA3 off (but you should absolutely listen to both).

Rare Americans combines so many elements that speak to me. Musically they combine hip hop and rock music in a way that is not, I repeat, not the "rap-rock" you might associate those words with. Combining these vocal elements with all sorts of fun musical styles, instruments, and sound effects, they weave narrative tales with colorful characters, and throughout all of this make each song unique and infectious along the way. There was definitely a portion of time early in the year before this album came out that I had the song Hullabaloo on repeat for weeks. Give it a listen, and if you like what you hear make sure you watch the music videos as well!

2. Aesop Rock x Blockhead - Garbology

Aesop Rock is somehow as prolific as he is talented, releasing album after album year after year without ever missing. Sure, some may be weaker than others, but overall they're never bad. I surely need to learn to stop doubting that a new Aes project won't live up to the hype in my head, because every time a new album is announced I think "another one? already?! it has to be too much!" but it never is!

Garbology is my favorite Aes project since 2019's Malibu Ken, which in Aes years feels like a lifetime ago. Taking up a loose concept around garbage and the theory of garbology (the study of a culture by examining its waste), Aesop Rock digs into the dumpster fire that is our own society and returns with a collection of insights and gems laid over thick and enchanting Blockhead beats. It's grimy, it's dirty, but what else would you expect?

1. Cheekface - Emphatically No.

The first time I heard a Cheekface song randomly come up on a Spotify playlist I knew I loved it. That said, I didn't expect to be quite as taken with their album as I was. Emphatically No. is so immediately accessible and entertaining. Almost every day a random song from this album, or its b-sides (titled Emphatically Mo. which also appeared on my favorite EPs list) pops into my head. I don't know how to explain what they've done hear, but they've perfected their own formula to a degree that their band name should probably just be Earworm.

Speaking of band names, I hate having to tell people to listen to Cheekface. I think it's a bad name, and yet here we are, and I'm telling you emphatically yes that you should listen to this album. It may not be for everybody, but for the people that it is for it'll be a heavy hitter very fast. Combining often sarcastic or sardonic lyrics, the deadpan delivery of verses is expertly transitioned into catchy hooks that will have you singing along by the second chorus on your first listen.

This album is fun, it's insightful, it's cynical yet optimistic. And overall it's just a good time. I am shocked that in all of the top lists for 2021 I've seen so far I haven't seen anyone talking about this album at all, because for me it was probably the thing I listened to most over the year.

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StarF's Top Five EPs of 2021 & HMs

It's JANUARY which means it's time for YEAR IN REVIEW! If you're me anyway. If you're everybody else you do it at the beginning of December for some reason even though December already has plenty of its own stuff going on and there's an entire month of the year remaining! ...No matter, he's some music that I liked in 2021!

TOP FIVE EPS OF 2021

5. Dessa - I Already Like You

I've been a fan of Dessa for over a decade now, and it's been super cool to watch her blow up and achieve so much over the years. I Already Like You doesn't necessarily have anything in particular that I can single out to say about it, it's just all around a great listen. If you've ever been a fan, you're going to like what you hear!

4. Royal & The Serpent - Searching For Nirvana

I randomly ran into the song Overwhelmed on Spotify at some point and immediately fell in love with it. That song along is enough to anchor this release firmly on this list, but the rest of the EP delivers as well - for the most part. While there are a couple tracks here that I don't necessarily find myself coming back to, the whole thing is still worth a listen, and I don't think I'll ever get that opening single out of my head.

3. Cheekface - Emphatically Mo' (b-sides)

Will I have more to say about Cheekface when I put out my actual top ten albums list? Maybe! Probably? Wowee, what a tease. Seriously though, I discovered this band in 2021 and do they ever have a knack for crafting super catchy jams. So catchy that even the b-sides from their album is landing right in the midst of my top five EPs. Stay tuned for more opinions about the best band with the worst name.

2/1. K.Flay - Indoor/Outdoor Voices

In a shocking turn of events K.Flay manages to take both the second and first place slots in this list! Surprise! It's her two EPs released over the year: Inside Voices and Outside Voices. Had these been combined into an album it likely would have made my top ten, but that would have been too convenient for my lists! I debated putting both in just one slot but ultimately they were both released as separate entities and I decided to treat them as such, and yet both are equally just as killer as each other. K.Flay really came through this year with some heat, wrapped up in some engaging and catchy tunes.

HONORABLE MENTIONS 2021

And now for the stuff that doesn't quite fit in, but deserves to be shouted out all the same!

Jeff Rosenstock - SKA DREAM

Listen, it kills me not to include this in my actual top ten. I went back and forth on this over and over again in my head. Ultimately though this is a remix album of an album that came out in 2020 and I decided to disqualify it on those grounds. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore it, but there was already so much good music in 2021 to consider for my list that this at least opened up another slot. Taking NO DREAM and converting it to ska started as something of a meme among the fandom, but the fact that it actually came out was a delightful shock. This thing rules, and on some days I prefer it over the original.

Bo Burnham - Inside (The Songs)

This release should need no introduction at this point. This is another where even though I adore the music, it's inseparable in my mind from the visual aspect (and also flows better in the context of the film), and so I had to relegate it to the honorable mentions list. Some of the songs on here are absolute bangers on their own though, and Bo has truly captured something special about the year 2020 in this work.

The Stupendium - YouTube Channel

I absolutely love The Stupendium and the music he makes. Problem is, he doesn't have albums, or even EPs. Just a lot of singles accompanies by wonderful videos on his YouTube channel. I mean sure you can also listen to them on Spotify (and I do) but the videos is really where the magic is. I discovered his stuff in late 2020 but I stuck with him fully in 2021 and will continue to watch anything he puts out. Truly just an incredible creator bursting with talent. Please go check out his stuff!

1 Trait Danger - 1 Trait Bangers

Okay look, this one is just silly. I discovered 1 Trait Danger recently and have been really enjoying their brand of goofy music. It reminds me of if you mashed up the skits from mc chris with the music of the style biters. They're the most nerdcore group that isn't nerdcore I've ever heard. This album that came out in 2021 isn't their best, but it's still worthy of an honorable mention just for being crazy. Ultimately though it's very short and I'm pretty sure half of the runtime is skits. Make sure you start with 1 Traight High though so you know the ~lore~.

[starf]

"NOW" HIRING!

Oh hello Tumblr, do people still use this thing?

I certainly don't. In fact this blog has just become the place I return to every January (or so) to post my top ten favorite albums list... which excitingly enough is coming up soon!

But no, this actually has nothing to do with that. In fact this is just good old fashioned blogging. Which is to say it's good ol' fashion bitching about life and really just feeling like a teenager again. Screaming into the void of the internet because I'm out of options and don't know what else to do.

So if anyone is out there reading this thinking it might be something of interest you may want to jump ship now, because it's about to become nothing but a public diary entry. Now ~let's get personal!~

So speaking of screaming into a void, I have a question for you: where do job applications go? Do they go to people? Does a person see them? When I submit my resume to a company, does anything actually happen? Have human eyes laid eyes on my credentials anywhere? Because I swear to god the entire thing is a sham. Like I'm literally realizing I've never gotten any job through conventional hiring processes, it's all been through networking. I'm serious.

My first job that I got when I was 16 was as a dishwasher at a local cafe. I heard about the job from a friend at school and they literally just told me they were looking for another dishwasher and put in a good word for me. A couple days later I got a phone call from the owner who told me to come in right then and there for training, and I just showed up and started working. When I left I was very confused about what was happening. I wasn't even sure if I was hired or what, he told me to "come back tomorrow." So I showed up again, and eventually just kept showing up until my name was officially on the schedule, and then I worked there for years.

When I got my job at Domino's it was because I had multiple friends who worked there. They basically told the manager I could handle the job, and she called me to show up for an "interview." Once again the interview was basically just me showing up and her saying "so uh, you wanna work here? Okay cool, here's some training videos." And presto I'm hired and still work there a decade later.

A couple years ago I graduated from college with a degree in sound design. I figured the easiest way to start rounding up post production work would be to start doing location sound gigs. I started learning how to be a location sound recordist by working student films from people I had met throughout college, and once I had a little experience was able to get a couple gigs through word of mouth, and that just kept snowballing. There was never an application, an interview, it was just a flow of meeting people on sets and getting asked to come back to new sets.

Never once in my life have I been able to send out a resume, or an application, and get anything back in return. Never an interview, never a phone call, never a goddamn e-mail. So I ask again: is it all a joke? Do the applications actually go anywhere? Because I constantly feel like I'm just screaming into the void "HELLO, I'M READY TO WORK, PLEASE LET ME WORK!"

"But no one wants to work these days!" they say. Okay, I know that's a whole thing pertaining to minimum wage jobs so it's not totally applicable, but still. For so much of my life all I've wanted to do is get a good job that pays a little bit of money and work. I want to work. Is that enough? Can I just want to work? Can anyone hear me???

The past two years of audio freelancing since I graduated college have been awesome, don't get me wrong. I've essentially dropped from living off of working full time at Domino's to only doing it in between gigs. But that's sort of the problem: I don't want there to be an "in between gigs." Freelancing has its advantages absolutely, but I'm much more of a stability person. And as such, now that I have some professional experience under my belt, I've been applying to various studio positions.

And I've heard nothing back from anyone. And it's frustrating.

There have been a ton of positions out there where I flat out don't meet the requirements. I apply anyway, just sort of as a "well, what if?" scenario. When I don't hear back from those I just kinda shrug and figure "alright, that makes sense."

Then there's even more where I'm partially qualified. I apply to those as well, with a tinge of hope that maybe I'll get a call back and talk my way into getting the job. When no reply comes, I'm a little bummed, but it's still understandable.

But then every so often I run into an opening that I am 100% qualified for. This happened recently, and is really the impetus for this ranting rambly blog post. I ran into an opening that was the dream job. Not only in the actual job itself, but in the fact that I confidently hit every marker on their requirements that they were looking for. It was the first application I sent off with the absolute confidence that I can do this job.

Now I know that this doesn't mean anything, guarantee anything, or whatever. I'm not entitled to the position just because I'm qualified. But this time I at least expected some sort of response. I was extremely hopeful to get an interview. But at the very least I would have settled for a rejection e-mail. Even a form letter.

After nine days of waiting I checked back with where I had submitted the application. You know what it said? "Position Filled."

Nothing, no consideration, no response. Not even a robot e-mailing me to let me know.

For a week I lived with the hope that maybe this time I would be able to get a job and put my skills to use. That maybe this time I would be able to afford health insurance and see a doctor. Maybe this time I would have enough money to stop worrying that my entire life will come crashing down around me. That I can stop feeling the urge to vomit when I think about what happens if my car breaks down, or if I get injured in some way. God the idea of having a stable life sounds like winning the lottery, and I was so sure I was potentially holding a winning ticket.

I just want to work so bad, and no one will let me.

[starf]

StarF’s Top Ten Albums of 2020

Another year, another list. Let’s not even bother with the preamble this time around, you get what it is.

10. I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME - RAZZMATAZZ

Let me tell you right now, I struggled with this tenth spot. There were about four albums that were pretty much tied once I narrowed it down this far because it was a jam-packed year. Ultimately though I had to give it to iDKHOW for their smooth brand of piano rock-pop. This is their debut album and it brought the heat. While it didn't dazzle me immediately, with every subsequent listen I feel a little more of that promised razzmatazz from the title. I also absolutely love the ballad "Nobody Likes The Opening Band," which will certainly be a fun song to hear them perform some day whether they're the opener or not.

9. The Front Bottoms - In Sickness & In Flames

The last offering from The Front Bottoms, Going Gray, left me feeling a little lukewarm. In Sickness & In Flames, however, is a much stronger return to form for the band in my opinion. Some people say all of The Front Bottoms' albums sound the same, and maybe that's a little bit true. But maybe 2020 is the year that we needed to hear some new Front Bottoms material. It was a strange time for all of us, and in these times this kind of album just hits different. From the optimistic opening of "everyone blooms" to the infectious singalong moments of "Fairbanks, Alaska," this album is a good time all around.

8. The Used - Heartwork

Did you know The Used is still around? Not only still around, but apaprently they never went away! When I saw that they had released a new album early in the year I assumed it was a comeback, but I was wrong! For me there was a 12 year gap since I had personally listened to a new Used album, and this one blew me away in a big way. They're still going big, going hard, and rocking their signature sound - but updated for the modern age. This is a band that has managed to hold on to their roots while successfully adapting and progressing into the future.

7. Oliver Tree - Ugly Is Beautiful

Where do you even start with an artist like Oliver Tree? An absolute master of internet marketing, the release of this album was a tortured and dragged out experience, like a person chasing a 20 dollar bill on a string and having it constantly pulled away over and over again. By the time it came out it was a little disheartening that an entire half of the album had already been released via single, but overall it is undeniably a powerhouse of a pop album and a strong showing from Oliver Tree. A strange character, but an impossibly catchy album with earworm after earworm.

6. The World/Inferno Friendship Society - All Borders Are Porous To Cats

I pretty much always enjoy any offering from this band, but to varying degrees. Their last few albums have certainly been good to my ears, but for whatever reason just didn't resonate enough with me to earn a spot in my top ten. This album is clearly different though, and keeps me enthralled the entire way. With their unique brand of punk-jazz-cabaret, All Borders Are Porous To Cats tells the story of one Mr. Cat In The Hat, and it's a wild ride that you're going to want to hear.

5. Run The Jewels - RTJ4

One of the most biting and necessary releases of the year, RTJ4 dropped right when we needed to hear it most, and for free no less. It's my personal opinion that Run The Jewels continue to get better with every release they put out, and their fourth showing is easily my favorite so far. El-P and Killer Mike come through with some of their sharpest bars and heaviest beats yet. It's just a shame that for how much history repeats we as society still haven't learned some of the lessons that an album like this continues to attempt to teach us.

4. Aesop Rock - Spirit World Field Guide

Spirit World Field Guide is not a typical Aesop Rock album, but then again what is? Back in 2016 I fell in love with the album The Impossible Kid, an accessible (by Aes standards) album that hooked me in immediately. Spirit World is a different beast that took me off guard the first time I heard it, and left me a little bit lost - but that almost seems to be the intent. An absolute monster of an album coming in at 21 tracks and over an hour, this thing wasn't necessarily meant to be ingested all at once, or even in the order presented. The more I revisit it the more I put the pieces together and enjoy it more and more.

3. Poppy - I Disagree

Let's take a journey all the way back to January before the world entirely fell apart. I discovered Poppy for the first time through this album and was quickly intrigued. Going back through her older music, and then her YouTube, and slowly unraveling the mystery that is Poppy was perhaps some of the most fun I've had experiencing an artist's work in years - all topped off with seeing her perform live that month, the last large live music show I've been to. I Disagree is an eclectic blend of pop, metal, and strange curiosity. It starts off right away with the oddball banger Concrete and promises to weed out those who aren't prepared to take the mental trip through this album right away. It's not for everyone, but it's definitely for me.

2. Jeff Rosenstock - N O  D R E A M

Well here we are! The number one spot! You guessed it, it's Jeff Rose- what? This isn't number one? Well that can't be right, hold on. Nope, I guess that's correct. The new Jeff Rosenstock album, N O  D R E A M comes in at number two this year, a fact that will probably shock and confuse anyone who knows me. This is the proof that Jeff doesn't automatically get my number one spot if he releases an album, but with all of that out of the way, let's talk about the album.

In a Post-Post- world we see Jeff returning to a more traditional take on putting together an album, rather than simply rushing through it to get the feelings out of his head (both perfectly valid approaches). N O  D R E A M continues to explore themes of being lost and confused in such a soul-crushing and increasingly overwhelming world - all while attempting to find the silver linings and be optimistic about where we're headed. Whether it's the world at large or a personal journey, this album is an anthem to a year that saw most people holding their head in their hands and saying "please, just, let's all get through this, okay?"

1. Will Wood - The Normal Album

Wow. Just wow. Okay, where to begin? I was listening to a random Spotify radio when it started playing a song by Will Wood & The Tapeworms called "Hand Me My Shovel, I'm Going In!" Intrigued by the style of the song, as well as the title, I clicked through and listened to their most recent album which was 2016's "Self-Ish." I thought it was really good! I enjoyed it a lot and continued to listen to it for about a week. At that point when I started digging further into the band I learned that there was actually an even newer album entitled The Normal Album, categorized on Spotify under just Will Wood, which is why I hadn't previously found it.

I enjoyed Self-Ish, but hearing The Normal Album took it to an entirely new album and blew me away in a way that I haven't experienced in years. This wasn't just a great album, this was one of those musical discoveries where you think "oh wow, this is something I can't live without going forward." Will Wood is exactly what I needed in the back half of 2020 to keep my sanity, and even now I still listen to this album usually at least once a day. It's perfectly crafted in every sense of the world. Not a single second is wasted or out of place. The technical skill is in full display without muddling the pure enjoyment of the melodies or taking away from the overall vibe of the songs. The writing is some of the sharpest and dense I've ever seen, without being undecipherable or inaccessible. This is an album that truly does it all.

The feeling I have when I listen to this album and attempt to get people to listen to it is identical to how I felt about Jeff Rosenstock in the late 2000's, back before he had sort of blown up. Will Wood certainly has a following, but his music is definitely niche at the moment and somewhat obscure. Much in the same way that eventually people listened to me about Jeff, I hope they will find out about Will. Everyone should hear this album. It's breath-takingly perfect.

[starf]

StarF’s 2020 Top Five EPs & HMs

Here we are, another year, another new format! The top ten album list is coming shortly, but first we gotta cover some other stuff that came out because 2020 was WEIRD and jam-packed full of music. What started with a lot of album delays while we waited for everything to “blow over” soon became a swell of frustrated outpouring from many artists as they realized this was not about to go away so fast. Some of these releases are clearly related to the events of 2020, and some may just be coincidentally in the theme of the year. In any case, everything here is cool for one reason or another. LET’S GOOO!

TOP FIVE EPS OF 2020

5. NOBRO - Sick Hustle

I was made aware of this band from listening to the Punknews podcast, where they recommended checking out the music video for the band's new single "Don't Die." The video was fantastic and the song was an instant earworm. This four song EP may be pretty short, but it's a powerhouse of a miniature album and a sure sign of good things to come from this band.

4. PUP - This Place Sucks Ass

Is there a more fitting name for a release from 2020? This EP is PUP doing what PUP does best, rockin' out with catchy riffs, infectious hooks, and their own special brand of self-loathing humor. Did you enjoy Morbid Stuff? I did, and this certainly feels like a little extension of that album, which easily lands it on this list.

3. Tkay Maidza - Last Year Was Weird, Vol. 2

This came out at the tail end of 2020, so I'd like to think the title very much has to do with what a weird ass year it was. I had never heard of this artist before this EP dropped, but listening to it I was instantly hooked. Her blend of smooth and chill and aggressively in-your-face across the runtime of this EP should be enough to provide enjoyment to any listener.

2. nelward - Eat Your Dreams

I truly don't remember how I found out about nelward, except that it was from the song Ghost. How I ended up on that song? No clue. But I was immediately intrigued by the style. Unfortunately that song doesn't appear on this EP, but what this EP does provide is some of the smoothest, weirdest funk-pop I think I've ever heard. It hits just right with healthy doses of fat bass, sprinklings of glitch, and sharply written yet smoothly delivered lyrics. I would also like to mention just how much I love the cover art for this project, maybe my favorite art to come out of the whole year, honestly.

1. Marian Call - Swears!

It's no secret to anyone who knows me that I absolutely love Marian Call. Her brand of music ticks all of my personal boxes for what I look for in an enjoyable listening experience. So imagine my excitement when she announced she would be releasing a new EP on my birthday in 2020. And it did not disappoint. Marian Call takes a whole new approach to her music and reinvents herself in what feels like a bit of pop-punk therapy. Previously having never sworn in her music, she cranks it up to 10 in this EP, expressing frustration for the world and backed up with more energetic instrumental tracks than we've ever seen from her before. I've listened to this EP so much since it came out that I was half-tempted to just make an exception and put it on my top ten albums list. There are times when I have multiple songs from this thing stuck in my head at once. Truly its only fault is that it's not longer, because I crave more music from this side of Marian Call.

HONORABLE MENTIONS 2020

And here we have a few albums I’d just like to shout out for whatever reason. They either just didn’t make my top lists or didn’t fit in for one reason or another. In any case, here’s some cool stuff!

Neil Cicierega - Mouth Dreams

Prolific and eccentric internet creator Neil Cicierega returns in 2020 with another installment of the “Mouth” mash-up series. The third in the run features perhaps some of the most interesting and ambitious mashups yet, with a fittingly dreamy aesthetic throughout. If you want to get weird, this is a good place to start.

Mac Miller - Circles

I owe Mac Miller an apology, because ever since I found out about him when he broke onto the scene so many years ago I incorrectly judged his music. I never gave his tunes a fair chance, and I assumed that I wouldn’t like his music based on what I had heard about him. I don’t know how I got the impression that I did, but I decided recently to check out his final posthumous album Circles and I was immediately impressed. Apparently I had the dude all wrong, and I have to work my way back through his discography now because I was a fool.

Liquid Death - Greatest Hates, Vol. 2

Hey this is an oddball. Are you familiar with the water brand Liquid Death? If not then boy do I have a story for you. It goes something like this: a few years ago some people decided to create a brand of canned water that was going to be WAY EXTREME BABY. They called themselves Liquid Death and were henceforth extremely aggressive in their marketing. Naturally a bunch of people (the kind some may refer to as “normies”) were upset about this, and instead of moving on in their life they had to e-mail the company to complain. So what did Liquid Death do? They commissioned a bunch of punk bands to record short songs where the lyrics were the contents of their hate-mail. Enjoy!

Black Dresses - Peaceful As Hell

This is an honorable mention just in the fact that it’s a great album that I really should have listened to more. My journey to discovering Black Dresses was odd in that I listened to this album first, loved it, but then over the course of the year got completely side-tracked by listening to their 2019 release Love And Affection For Stupid Little Bitches way more. Peaceful As Hell is a great album that surely would have made my top ten if I would have dedicated more time to it, but for some reason I just didn’t. Go  check it out!

Amnesia Scanner - Tearless

Look let me be completely honest here: the music on this album is fine. Good even. I enjoyed it. It’s a far cry from a top ten pick though. So why did I include it here? It’s that album art baby. It’s that album art. Just look at it. This thing stuck with me, if only because the cover haunts me. Listen to it if you want, but know that you are now forever stuck with that image in your head.

[starf]

StarF’s Top Ten Albums of 2019

here it goes here it goes here it goes again

Welcome to the end of the decade! Well we’re already here in 2020, but for me that means it’s time to check out the albums of yesteryear. I know you’re all always so eager to get your lists out in early December, but guess what dummies, December is still part of 2019!

Ahh, you know I love you though. And 2019 was kinda weird. Usually I find myself having some pretty heavy hitters at the end of the year, sometimes even up into mid or late December, but 2019 was extremely front loaded. While I think only one of them made the top ten, there were a good handful of albums I was debating that came out all the way back in January. Crazy.

Anyway, enough talking about the process. Let’s get to the albums!

10. Laura Stevenson - The Big Freeze

Laura Stevenson returns to a more ethereal and atmospheric sound on The Big Freeze, and it definitely sets a mood and establishes a tone. True to its name, putting this album on in the dead of winter is an experience that can really take you to some other unworldly place.

9. Billie Eilish - When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?

I was surprised that I liked this album as much as I did. I kept hearing her name and thinking “yeah I’ll get around to checking her out, I guess.” And then one day my girlfriend put on “Bad Guy” and I was immediately intrigued by Billie’s vocal style. Upon listening to the entire album I was blown away by how interesting and innovative a mega-hit pop album could be.

8. Hobo Johnson - The Fall of Hobo Johnson

For some reason I guess this is a controversial pick? But I don’t get it, this is just a cool album. I understand the general gripe some people have with Hobo Johnson based solely on “Peach Scone,” but if you haven’t even given this new album a chance I would suggest that you at least give it that much. This album feels like a more unhinged and eccentric Watsky, but in a really good way. It also has one of my favorite closing songs I’ve heard on an album in awhile.

7. Microwave - Death Is A Warm Blanket

In 2016 Microwave put out an album called Much Love which was my introduction to them as a band. I immediately fell in love with that album and even had it on my top ten that year. So naturally I was super stoked to hear their new album, and boy, it did not disappoint. What it did do however is surprise me beyond my wildest expectations for this band. When I thought they would zig, they zagged hard. Death Is A Warm Blanket is a much noisier, harsh, and visceral record from the band. And they wear the look well.

6. Chris Farren - Born Hot

There’s some sort of weird formatting error happening here so excuse that. Anyway welcome to another perfect album from none other than punk celebrity Chris Farren. Born Hot really takes everything Chris Farren has built up in his brand the last few years and cranks it up to the logical extreme. From the wacky title and identity of the album itself, to the non conventional merchandise accompanying it (an oven mitt, “Born Hot Sauce,” etc.) to the method of teasing the album before its release (hearing an entire song via the “1-800-BORN-HOT” line), this is an album that tackles serious themes under the veil of comedy. And the tunes are pretty great, too!

5. FIDLAR - Almost Free

I feel like I’m going to catch flak for this choice as well, but I don’t care. It’s my list and I’m going to do what I want. Seriously though, Almost Free is a good album and I feel like those who don’t like it are the same type of people who can’t handle change in music. FIDLAR adds a bit of pop influence on this album, but I think it works beautifully. Almost Free is instantly catchy, but still raucous and juvenile in every way I would want to hear from FIDLAR.

4. Malibu Ken - Malibu Ken

Hip Hop’s GOAT is back with another fantastic side project. This time Aesop Rock has teamed up with Tobacco to create an album that is as fun to listen to as its album cover is gross. Aes comes through, as usual, with dense and sometimes coded lyrics that are a thrill to comb through and decipher. The difference is that on Malibu Ken they’re laid over some buttery smooth synth laden beats that create a wonderful backdrop to everything that’s happening here.

3. Telethon - Hard Pop

Telethon’s last album was an absolute beast, a five act rock opera that spanned an hour and a half and told a winding story that won my heart (and ears) immediately. Unfortunately not everyone is me, and the energy of creating such an epic album is probably not easily replicated, so Telethon has peeled back on their latest offering of Hard Pop. Of course, that’s just the breath of air I think we all needed from the band after such a densely packed album as The Grand Spontanean. This new album features the band truly coming into their own brand of sound and owning it, all the way down to the title of the album. It’s catchy, it’s verbose, and it’s absolutely worth your time.

2. K.Flay - Solutions

I’ve been following K.Flay’s music career for nearly a decade now and I’ve got to say, it’s been a wild ride and such a pleasure to see her grow and find her audience. Solutions is perhaps the most upbeat and optimistic album from her, and it’s not only nice to see an artist break out of a rut, but it’s just a damn good and fun album. Solutions is a fun time, and an amazing collection of summer jams.

1. PUP - Morbid Stuff

You know I wasn’t sure if this was going to be my album of the year, but the more and more I thought about it the more it made sense. Morbid Stuff is an album that I feel like I’ve had in my collection for years, despite being less than a year old at this point. PUP comes through on their “difficult third release” and crafts an album that only continues to elevate their signature sound. I’m ecstatic to see them on an upward trajectory and hope that they only continue to impress.

[starf]

StarF’s 2019 Honorable Mentions

Death Rosenstock - Thanks, Sorry!

A Jeff Rosenstock project didn’t make StarF’s top ten?! What?!?!?! No, it didn’t, but that’s because Thanks, Sorry! is a live album which disqualifies it as far as my list is concerned. Don’t get me wrong, this is an incredible live album and a welcome addition to my collection, but my top ten is reserved for albums of new (or mostly new) material. But really though, this is a fantastic live record that really does capture the energy and vibe of what it’s like to see Jeff Rosenstock live in the last few years.

Xiu Xiu - Girl With Basket Of Fruit

So uh, this album scares me. I put off listening to it for a long time because I knew it was going to be intense. And I finally did, and I was correct. This gets an honorable mention because even though it’s technically an album of what I suppose you could call music, Girl With Basket Of Fruit is an art piece more than anything else. It’s fantastic, it’s compelling, it’s even frightening, but it just doesn’t fit in my top ten albums. It wouldn’t feel quite right. This album is a beast of its own caliber. Listen at your own risk.

Marc With A C - Maybe It’ll Be Good

It feels weird not to have one of Marc’s albums in my top ten, but hey, we get what life gives us. Despite not getting an album full of new material, 2019 still provided us with Maybe It’ll Be Good, perhaps the definitive collection of Marc’s music up until this point. Whether you’re just getting started or already a fan, it’s a great mix of tunes. Listening to this reminds me of around a decade ago when I first discovered Marc’s music and would listen to the Retrolofi collection.

100 gecs - 1000 gecs

This is such a trippy little album. This is really the only honorable mention that isn’t here due to some technicality. It’s just an album of music that I wanted to include but had to bump off the top ten. I suppose a large part of that is due to its quite short run time, but within that short time it sure is a wild ride. 1000 gecs is a madness fueled ride into the pop music of the future. Sometimes catchy, sometimes just musical shitposting, it’s a fun ride if you can manage to hold on.

Melanie Martinez - K-12

I just got into Melanie Martinez last year and was pretty stoked for her new album! While it is pretty good, it unfortunately wasn’t top ten good, at least for me. But the reason that I do specifically want to shout out this album in this list is because it has an entire dang movie attached to it. I had the pleasure of going to see the movie in a theater a day before the release of the album. And while the album meanders somewhere in the range of “just okay,” the film accompanying it was really cool to see, and is an experience that will definitely stick with me.

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StarF’s Top Ten Albums of 2018

Ah yes, it’s time for the one time a year that I use Tumblr these days. We’re already roaring well into 2019 but it’s about that time that I let you know my top ten picks for the previous year! For anyone new here, if you’re screaming “BUT IT’S MID-FEBRUARY!” you can cool your jets, because I always wait a month or so to let any late-year straggler releases really set in, and give everything time to breathe. I wouldn’t want to include an album just because it was recent in memory, or exclude anything by jumping the gun!

As I type this I want you to know that I haven’t at this moment solidified my top ten. I have a rough idea, but it’s tough this year, let me tell you. 2018 had SO MANY great releases, and so many consistent releases, that it’s painful for me to only choose ten. But alas, that’s the system that I’ve chosen, and so ten must emerge. Here they are:

10. The Grammar Club - Live Slow. Die Whenever.

2018 marked the return of The Grammar Club in a big way. They had previously resurrected the project through the use of Patreon, but this was the official release of a bunch of the songs that came out of that (and I believe a handful of songs that weren’t released on Patreon? I’m not entirely sure). In any case, Live Slow. Die Whenever. is a goddamn hit factory. Eclectic topic material, catchy hooks, and powerful delivery have made this album a mainstay in my rotation all year.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

9. MC Frontalot - Net Split or, The Fathomless Heartbreak of Online Itself

Speaking of the return of notable nerdcore artists, MC Frontalot finally released his new album! Previously teased simply as The Internet Sucks it took on what is quite the mouthful of a title and an absolutely amazing cover. Net Split is an interesting album for me personally because it is actually very similar to a concept that I wanted to do years ago, which is to make an album examining how the internet has affected and changed culture through a sociological lens. Net Split isn’t quite as analytical as that description would make it sound, but it is essentially the same idea: a collection of songs examining and criticizing the internet. They are well written, bitingly relevant, and incredibly catchy. The once-eponymous Internet Sucks has gotten stuck in my head probably once every couple days since I first heard it.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

8. Cursive - Vitriola

This album came as a complete shock to me in the greatest of ways. One day I was browsing my local record shop and saw on the “New Release” board that Cursive had released a new album. I bought it immediately, and didn’t regret a thing. Where Net Split takes a hard look at the internet and what it’s done to us, but in a light and fun way, Vitriola takes a look at society with a sneer and a scowl. This album is dark, moody, and will suck you into its world immediately and not let you go.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

7. EURINGER - EURINGER

If you’re sad that Mindless Self Indulgence hasn’t released an album since 2013 then rejoice, because EURINGER is gonna be your fix. A new project from Jimmy Urine, this album surely feels like the next logical step from MSI while also breathing some new life of its own. A journey through a warped mind, this album takes its turns being completely in your face and completely wrapped up in its own world. Built like some sort of psychotic 80′s pop fantasy for the modern day, this album surely won’t be for everyone, but it’s a slice of heaven for those it is for.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

6. Marc With A C - Obscurity

Would it be a StarF top ten list if it didn’t include a Marc With A C album? It would, but it wouldn’t be a very good one! Obscurity is the latest and best album to date from Marc With A C, and there’s good reason for that. To put it short this is the album Marc has wanted to make for quite some time, and now that it’s here it’s clear to see that there was a reason that this was the one. The content walks the line perfectly between light hearted and deadly serious. It’s funny, it’s touching, it’s got something to say, and it’s going to do all of these things in songs that you’re going to be singing by your second spin of the record.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

5. Supercommuter - Trash World

2018 truly was the year of comebacks, wasn’t it? After seven long years of waiting the third Supercommuter album finally came out and I’m happy to report that the wait was worth it! Trash World takes everything Supercommuter has been doing with the first two albums and continues to expand and elevate the universe they live in. Wheelie Cyberman is sharp as ever both in performance and storytelling aptitude, and the vibe of this album is incredibly cohesive. I am also a huge fan of this cover art, I feel compelled to add in.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

4. Mother Mother - Dance And Cry

There’s always one album that’s gotta be difficult for me to link to, and this year it’s Mother Mother. How are you gonna have only one of your albums available on Bandcamp and it’s not the most recent one? I digress though, because Dance And Cry is absolutely incredible. It’s weirdly hard to put into words why I love this album so much, but it just makes me feel a way, you know? The title is a perfect summation of what this album has to offer you: upbeat, danceable pop songs that are somewhere between crying because life is hard and because life is beautiful. This album will move you physically and emotionally.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

3. Wordburglar - Rhyme Your Business

If Mother Mother is going to have you crying while dancing, Wordburglar is here to get you smiling. Also look at that, two Canadian artists in a row, wow! It’s no secret that I love Wordburglar, and to be honest over the last few years he’s become one of my all time favorite rappers. He’s incredibly talented as a lyricist and rapper with an immediately identifiable style. I really cannot say enough good things about him and this album. It’s fun, it’s upbeat, it’s inspiring, and it’s just the tip of the iceburg... if you’ll pardon the pun.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

2. Antarctigo Vespucci - Love In The Time Of E-Mail

Let me plead my case before I even start talking about this album, because some of you might think I automatically throw anything Jeff Rosenstock or Chris Farren related onto my list and that’s why this is here. You’re wrong! Case in point: Antarctigo Vespucci’s previous record, Leavin’ La Vida Loca didn’t even appear on my list for the year that it came out! Not that I didn’t enjoy that record, but it didn’t really “grab” me immediately, so to speak.

...That was not the case for Love In The Time Of E-Mail, which grabbed me immediately and refused to let go. This album is 43 minutes of power pop madness that will drive its tunes straight into your brain’s core and leave them there to repeat over and over and over again. I can’t stop returning to this album because sure enough each day I wake up with one of the 15 songs in my head. It’s also weird to see that a real trend of 2018, at least on my top ten, is albums that are specifically focused on the internet and what it’s doing to us.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

1. Jeff Rosenstock - POST-

...oh come on, is anyone even surprised? Listen, it’s the same case as I said above, I wouldn’t include this on my list at all if I didn’t truly feel it belonged here. But here’s the deal: POST- dropped as a surprise on January 1st of 2018. The FIRST day of the year, and over a year later I am still listening to it regularly and finding new reasons to fall in love with this album. I love it for many of the same reasons I love the AV album (big surprise there), but while it shares the same catchy qualities of Love In The Time Of E-Mail, it also does so with a reckless fervor. POST- is an emotional explosion and reaction to our times, and while it may not be my favorite Rosenstock record, it is the perfect record for the time it exists within.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

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StarF’s Top Ten Albums of 2017

And so here we are again! In case you missed it I’ve already sort of rolled out my preamble and honorable mentions (as well as a new installation of top five EPs) over in another post... RIGHT HERE IN FACT! So we can get right into the albums without further explanation. 2017 was a really cool year for music. I feel like there maybe weren’t as many albums that I picked up, but the ones that I did I got really attached to. Here are my personal favorites!

10. P.O.S - Chill, dummy

2017 came out of the gate swinging with this incredible P.O.S album in January! The fact that it’s a year later and I’m still spinning this record all the way through proves its longevity and helps solidify its place on this list. I’ll be honest, the first time I heard it I wasn’t sure what to make of it - but to be honest that’s what P.O.S does best. We Don’t Even Live Here was an easy favorite for me, but P.O.S is never going to sit on one style for too long, and this new album - while throwing my for a loop - pushed my musical boundaries to new places I didn’t expect.

Seeing P.O.S perform the songs live a few months later solidified the album as an easy favorite, the energy is absolutely infectious in a live setting. It’s wonderful to see P.O.S back on his feet after what seemed to be an eternity of battling health problems, and his return is triumphant as ever.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

9. WHY? - Moh Lhean

If I had to objectively rank the albums that I heard over the course of 2017 this might be number one. From almost every aspect this thing screams perfection, which is no surprise from WHY?, a band that has spent many years polishing their distinctive sound. From a personal standpoint it still shines (obviously, as it is in this list at all) but fell short from being in my top tier. Personal preference, and all that.

Still, if you like the band and you haven’t heard this album you owe it to yourself to give it a shot! If you’ve never heard of them, this is a great time to delve in! Many people (myself included) consider Alopecia to be sort of the high water mark for WHY?, but Moh Lhean certainly strives to make its own place. Where Alopecia shines lyrically Moh Lhean takes a more atmospheric and instrumental approach to building out the album’s personality.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

8. SHREDDERS - Dangerous Jumps

Goddamnit, P.O.S. You just weren’t content to have one spot in my top ten, you had to go for two. SHREDDERS appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the year and is essentially Doomtree Lite. Comprised of Doomtree members P.O.S, Sims, Paper Tiger, and Lazerbeak, SHREDDERS dropped this debut album in November and it absolutely slays.

Dangerous Jumps is a hip hop album with more energy than it knows what to do with. It is infectious and the anthem to anyone who is feeling ready to take on the entire world and destroy everything in their path. This album is the shot of adrenaline we all need to take our passion to the next level.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

7. K.Flay - Every Where Is Some Where

I had my gripes with this album when it came out. Namely the fact that four songs had previously been released via the Crush Me EP. However now that we’re far enough removed from all of that I’m over it and ready to move on and simply say... THIS ALBUM ROCKS.

K.Flay has been an absolute joy to follow over the years and it’s nice to see an artist I’ve been following from nearly their beginning grow to such popularity. Life As A Dog was one of my favorite albums of 2014 and somehow Every Where Is Some Where is even better, for my money. Where Life As A Dog was dreary and depressing in the best of ways, Every Where Is Somewhere manages to walk the line between pessimist and optimist, carefully straddling manic and depressive in a wild ride of an album that is as honest as it is exciting.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

6. Walter Etc. - Gloom Cruise

This album came out of absolutely nowhere for me and blew me away. It was the middle of summer and I woke up one morning, checked my phone, and the first thing that popped up on Facebook was a suggestive ad with this album. The name and cover intrigued me so I threw it on and was immediately entranced by its surf-punk vibes.

Gloom Cruise is not only just great musically on its own, but for me personally it came at just the right time in the year. At a time when I was feeling pretty low on life and generally bummed out the lyrics of Gloom Cruise kept me feeling sane and moving through a tough time emotionally. I also love an album with some good juxtaposition, such as this one with its chill upbeat instrumental vibes carrying its often downtrodden lyrics. For me, this was the quintessential 2017 summer album.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

5. Marian Call - Standing Stones

This was easily one of my most anticipated albums of the year and it did not disappoint... sorta. It actually feels sort of silly saying it now but the first time I heard the album it didn’t exactly hit me the way I thought it would. There were certain tracks that stood out and excited me, but overall I felt almost underwhelmed.

But over the course of the year I found myself coming back to it over and over again. By the end of the year I was absolutely enamored by how beautiful this album is. In what is Marian Call’s easily most complex and intricate album, Standing Stones gives you a perfect blend of songs that will hook you in immediately, with enough depth to enrich subsequent listens indefinitely. Plus her voice is pure magic.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

4. Tub Ring - A Choice Of Catastrophes

And here we have what probably was my most anticipated album of the year. Tub Ring surprised everyone with their sudden return to the scene via a Kickstarter to put out a “greatest hits” album on vinyl. One stretch goal included the recording of a new EP (the band had been broken up since 2010). The goal was handily reached and the band had so much fun recording that the EP turned into a full album, and that album was eventually released as A Choice Of Catastrophes.

Where Standing Stones took a lot of time to sink in and take its place in my brain, A Choice Of Catastrophes took my expectations and blew them out of the water immediately. This album was everything I wanted and nothing I expected. I don’t know if there are any future plans for Tub Ring from this point forward, but having the chance to board the new album hype train at least one last time was a satisfying experience, and this album rocks!

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

3. Fishboy - Art Guards

Oh boy here we go, top three baby! Interestingly 2017 seemed to be (for me, at least) the year of the narrative concept album - and that’s exactly the trend you’re going to see for my top three slots. As such we kick it off with none other than Fishboy’s Art Guards, and album that is such a fun and wild ride that it’s a goddamn shame that not more people are raving about this thing.

Art Guards tells the tale of nine artists, their lives, their art, and how they all intersect. Each song details one particular artist’s experiences and everything eventually culminates in a finale the likes of which I wouldn’t dare spoil! Seriously, this album comes and goes so fast and packs so much content into the span of a half hour - you owe it to yourself to sit down and give this thing a chance.

It’s a delightful listen with fun songs that stand on their own, but focused on together reveal a narrative that is absurdly fun.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

2. Jonathan Coulton - Solid State

This album was number one for 2017 in my head for so long. Seriously, for months I was absolutely certain that nothing could dethrone this thing. Surely nothing could best the masterpiece that is Solid State. Well, something did - we’ll get there - but listen here: this album is pure gold.

In what is most certainly Jonathan Coulton’s best album to date, Solid State takes the listener on a journey through a sort of future dystopia where social media has finalized its grasp on society with an iron clad fist. The narrative here isn’t nearly as linear and obvious as the previous entry, Art Guards, but it is certainly there if you’re looking for it (or if you purchase the companion comic book - which I have, and highly recommend).

All in all this album is just incredible. Narrative aside the songs are insanely catchy, the music is beautifully composed, and the overall aesthetic is cohesive and perfect. There is nothing about this album that I don’t like.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

1. Telethon - The Grand Spontanean

Look, my praise for Solid State was grandiose... but this fucking album may as well be the definition of the term grandiose. This nearly 90 minute behemoth plays out like a goddamn movie in your head if you allow it to, and tells a story about internet addiction, what it means to feel alive, and of course the end of the world.

This was truly the biggest surprise of the year for me. One day while killing time between classes I received a message from a friend who happens to be in this band. He informed me that their new album, The Grand Spontanean had just released and that I may like it. I opened the page and hit play on the first track - intending just to get a taste for what the album sounded like - and was immediately sucked in. I sat there and listened to the entire thing right then and there and fell in love with how ridiculously deep this thing is.

Every so often an album comes out that feels like magic and reminds you why hearing new music can be so exciting. This is one of those albums. Its biggest accomplishment may be that it’s well over an hour and every time I listen to it I get to the end and feel like maybe only 20 minutes have gone by, and then I listen to it again. It’s filled to the brim with memorable hooks, interesting instrumental composition (and I mean with all that time it has to work with, it certainly has room to move around), and a story so heavily detailed that every new listen reveals just a little bit more.

I cannot say enough great things about The Grand Spontanean. It is a work of art. It is an album to be looked up to, something to aspire to. This album will follow me for the rest of my life.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

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StarF’s top five EPs (and more) of 2017!

HEY THIS IS A NEW THING!

Normally every year around this time I post up my top ten albums, and I’m absolutely going to do that really soon! But this year I figured I’d start a new tradition and give some love to some of my favorite releases that don’t qualify for the main list because, well, they’re just a little short! I’m also going to throw out some honorable mentions here for albums or other releases that didn’t make my top ten!

TOP FIVE EPS

5. Charlie Siren - Party

Charlie Siren broke up in 2017, which shits, but they also released one last killer EP before they departed, which is rad! Party is a raucous good time and a fitting swan song for one of my favorite local pop punk bands. RIP in pepperoni Charlie Siren, you were a special band and your absence from the scene marks the end of an era.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

4. Mikal kHill - Bring Back My Ghost

I was already enamored with this EP before I ever heard it, based solely on a status update kHill posted describing the EP as, and I quote, “[moving] from folk rap to chip-hop to boom-bap before culminating in a folkpunk song.” Already sold on the concept I returned a few days later upon its release and it delivered hard. This one has been on repeat a lot for me over the latter half of the year.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

3. Marc With A C - Half Serious, Half Kidding

Never mind the fact that there is a cover of one of my very own songs on here - something that still boggles my mind because WHAT!?! I’m still shocked, flattered, and overjoyed about that. BUT STILL, DISREGARD THAT because it is not the reason that this EP is on this list! No! For those keeping score Marc With A C is one of my favorite musicians and his releases always seem to find their way into my top tier for each year. This year’s offering may be slimmed down on the amount of content, but it certainly isn’t lacking in the quality. Half Serious, Half Kidding delivers exactly what it promises and ensures that no matter how you’re feeling, you’re going to find something to fit your mood on this EP.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

2. Schaffer, Riley, And The Double Ice Backfire - Hold Person

This EP almost reaches number one here for the song 10,000 Cigarettes alone. That track is a fucking jam. The announcement of this EP came seemingly out of nowhere (at least in my reality) and excited me from the instant I became aware of it. As someone who is already a fan of every singular artist involved in the project, the prospect of them teaming up was obviously a recipe for success. And oh boy, did it succeed. This EP grabbed my attention immediately and hasn’t let go since the day it came out.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

1. Dollar Signs - Life Is Ruff

I feel like most EPs I listen to seem to appear out of the ether. I’m scrolling around online and suddenly, whoops, this artist released an EP! Life Is Ruff is one of the few that I was well aware of months beforehand and forced to wait for. Ever since the single Punk On The Weekend dropped I was eagerly awaiting the newest offering from punk band Dollar Signs, who absolutely captured my heart in 2015 with their album Yikes.

The new EP satiates my need for more self-deprecating, stupidly optimistic, and embarrassingly retrospective jams from the painfully self-aware band. How could you not love it?! There’s a dog on the cover and the first track is titled House Of Leaves (Me Alone)! Dollar Signs FOREVER!!!

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

OTHERS! OTHERS!

Here is a list of stuff that I really loved in 2017 that did not make my top ten albums (or top five EPs) for various reasons:

Anachronist - Anachronist’s Self-Titled Album - GOD I WANTED THIS TO BE ON MY TOP TEN. I wrote my top ten and had this sitting comfortably at number ten, but unfortunately I had to slip a somehow omitted on the first draft album into the list and this one got bumped. SO THIS IS MY #11 OF THE YEAR, AND IT IS FUCKING GOOD. The confusingly (but deliberately) titled album comes from a classmate of mine at IPR and is ridiculously good to the point that I’m actually confused as to how I’m just hanging out with this guy instead of him being some huge producer already.

Propagandhi - Victory Lap - This is an album that I was aware of when it came out, but for whatever reason only just got around to listening to a couple days ago. Had I heard it at its release it may have made my top ten, but it’s still too fresh for me to feel good about slotting it. STILL, great album, check it out! Probably my favorite from Propagandhi to date.

Tim Kasher - No Resolution - Similar to Victory Lap, this is something I found early enough in the year to enjoy it, but only just got around to hearing the other day. Tim Kasher of Cursive puts together a phenomenal album (which, to my understanding, is also the soundtrack to an indie movie of the same title...? I don’t know, I have to look into that). This is another one that, with proper time and reflection, would almost certainly have made my top ten.

PunkNews.org - Banned From The PC Mixtape - Years in the making, this mixtape from PunkNews.org finally sees the light of day in 2017! In what is certainly one of the most unique releases I picked up in the year, it features whimsical skits from the website’s podcast crew tying together a plethora of amazing punk jams. Pick one up before they’re gone, this is a fucking cool release!

Neil Cicirega - Mouth Moods - The genius behind Lemon Demon is back again under his civilian name with a memetastic mashup album. After the breakout Mouth Sounds and the followup Mouth Silence you’d think there would be nowhere left to go, but no, Neil proves with Mouth Moods that if you’re determined you can mashup ANYTHING FOREVER and make it, beyond your wildest expectations, incredibly enjoyable.

Direct Hit! / PEARS - Human Movement - This was also incredibly close to hitting my top ten list, but in the end it just... didn’t make the cut. Don’t get me wrong though, this split album absolutely rips and contains cuts from two of my favorite current punk bands. Split albums are all too rare these days and this one is certainly worth your time. I especially like that each band does a cover of one of the other’s tracks!

And that’s all for this list, folks! I’ll be back with my proper top ten albums SOON! :)

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NEW[???]YEAR

Humans are fucking weird, man.

First we invent arbitrary measurements of time in order to better organize our lives, and then we get so comfortable with this new system of time that it basically consumes us. Far be it from me to be yet another “clever” person pointing out that “hey, new years doesn’t, like, mean anything, man.” We all know that time is an abstract concept and that sure as tomorrow will be a new year, it will also simply be Monday.

No, I’m actually much more interested in the other side of the equation. The side that suggests that the new year does in fact mean something, man. It’s true that time steamrolls forward regardless of how you count it, but it’s equally true that we, as humans, have fallen into our ways. We run our sequence, and as such we are beholden to our psychological quirks. So behold: the turnover of a new year, and the lift of some unseen emotional burden that rests upon our collective shoulders. It doesn’t matter that nothing has changed in reality, what matters it the liberty the idea contains. And that’s what humans have always been best at: clinging to nonsensical ideology.

So yes! 2018 is simply a continuation of where we leave 2017 off, but we will move forward pretending that it means so much more, and there’s something truly special about that. And what’s more: this new year starts on a Monday. That’s right, folks, it’s the ultimate opportunity to start anew. So whether or not you subscribe to the notion that the new year should mean anything at all, let’s all try to be a little bit better in 24 hours, yeah?

I, for one, am excited to make an attempt at the very least. My life has been all over the place the last year and even though I fell off the path of my goals over the past few months I am feeling ready to get my shit together once again. And not even just because it’s going to be a new year and a new chance to pretend that I’m finally going to make something of myself, but because over the last couple weeks I’ve genuinely been building towards the notion of doing everything I want to do.

Don’t pretend like time doesn’t change anything. If anything, the fact that we can change at any time means that now is as good a time as any. So fuck it, we’re here, let’s do something about it.

Let’s leave the bullshit behind.

Let’s do our best.

As Not Half Bad once said in the song Daybeers:

We're gonna do what we need to be happy With no regard for when you say we're wrong There's not a fucking thing that we are lacking We should have been doing this all along

Happy 2018, fuckers.

[starf]

Six(ish) stages of emotional distress

I’m feeling rather chipper lately and thought I’d do something I haven’t done in a while, that’s right, it’s time to write about feelings! Yaaay!

So first, a preamble:

Let me first, I suppose, address why I’m writing this. I’ve written posts like this in the past, and while I hope that anyone who happens to actually read it finds some sort of value, in a way it’s totally and selfishly for myself. This particular post will revolve around dealing with emotionally stressful events, and this is obviously something that - while universal to all humans - is entirely and completely personal. Everyone has their own process and this will only 100% resonate with myself. So in that way it’s for me to put this process into words, if only to solidify it for myself. Perhaps to look back on in the future and realize “hey, I’ve been here before, it’s okay.”

The second bit that I feel should be addressed before I begin is the trouble of perspective. This is the thing that keeps me constantly feeling guilty for feeling bad about anything ever. See, when I say “emotionally stressful events,” this is purposefully vague and encompasses a great many possibilities. The truth is that perhaps I haven’t ever even experienced a truly emotionally stressful event in my entire life, and yet I have felt the torment of incessant emotional stress. What gives? It’s the “starving children” problem. How can you justify feeling bad when there are so many people that have it worse?!

A healthy dose of perspective is important, this much is true, but it would be completely neurotic to sweep your emotions under the rug due to some sense of morality that comes with the notion that just because things could be worse you’re not allowed to feel bad about anything. I recently read an article about Dan Harmon addressing someone’s tweet to him about dealing with depression and some of the things he said really resonated with me in this area of dealing with emotion, particularly the statement that “feelings are real, but they aren’t reality.” It is important to acknowledge and deal with your emotions, even if your logical brain can parse through and note that yes, you still may have a privileged and exceptional life overall.

So without further preamble I will now dive into my hastily thought up stages of dealing with an emotionally stressful event!

1. Shock

So no matter what it is, the first stage will grab hold quickly and unpredictably. “Shock” doesn’t necessarily mean freezing up physically in the sense you may be thinking, but instead applies to your emotional register. When the emotional registry overflows and is unable to process how you should be feeling about a situation, well, you don’t know what to do. And because there is an overflow these feelings have to go somewhere, and so they tend to leak into “logic brain” and cause your sense of reasoning to diminish momentarily. It depends on the event and person but the results can range anywhere from, indeed, freezing up and becoming emotionally cold, to an all out rage. The possibilities of shock are endless and that’s why it’s scary! Hey, you just learned a lot of bad information, good luck dealing with this. Your world is now different. Figure it out.

Shock can last anywhere from an hour to a day, but generally is passed onto the next step after you manage to get to sleep and let allow yourself some rest. But strap in, because you’re heading straight into phase two:

2. The Infinite Sadness

Hey, I stole that from Scott Pilgrim! But I think it’s a good title for where the emotional stress is taking you. On a journey straight to your own personal hell. This is it. This is the long haul. Whatever you had going on in your life that was positive before? Forget about it, throw it out, you’re done. Stage two is where you relapse into all of your worst vices and don’t even get enjoyment out of them, either.

Were you working out regularly? Stop. Planning out your time wisely and spending your money only where you needed to? Please. Now you’re a wreck. You’re gonna eat fast food, shop on the internet haphazardly, and worst of all you’re gonna be cognizant of the fact that this is all a terrible way to be handling things.

The infinite sadness is “infinite” because there’s truly no telling how long this stage will last. This is the difficult one to pull yourself out of, but eventually you’ll reach stage three...

3. Clarity

You’ll wake up one day and realize that things aren’t so bad! Everything actually is going to be okay, and that thing that you were stressed out about? That’s not worth your energy. The world is yours for the taking and being sad about things out of your control are the incorrect applications of your abilities. However the unfortunate thing about clarity is that it tends to come in moments, which leads you to stage four...

4. The Infinite Sadness (Part Two)

You’re back! You thought it would be that easy? Hahahaha, no. See no matter how much logic you want to apply to a situation like this there is an actual amount of baggage you’re going to have to sort through inside yourself, whether you realize the process is happening or not. That’s why this stage is aptly titled the “infinite” sadness, because it may seem to last an eternity.

You’ll rinse and repeat stage three and four a great many times, and it will be genuinely difficult to gauge when you’re ready to truly move on. This will add fuel to the fire which will make you start to feel even harder on yourself. You’ll begin to believe the part of you that tells you you’re not worth it. Once again, even if you know none of this is true, “logic brain” has now become a backseat driver. You’re trapped.

Until one day, instead of a false moment of clarity, you truly do move on...

5. Detachment

This part feels weird because... it doesn’t feel at all. Suddenly numbness is a welcome reprieve from the waves of the infinite sadness. You no longer feel happy, but you don’t feel sad either. In fact you don’t feel much of anything. You continue your life as normal. You’re still set in your vices but you’re not beating yourself up for indulging in those anymore, either. You’re simply going through the motions. “Logic brain,” somewhere far away, tells you that things are going to be okay, but even still you don’t care about that either.

Everything is dull, meaningless, and at least it doesn’t feel bad. This is, somehow, a good thing. Because after a short stay here you can finally head onto...

6. Recovery

This is the long climb up. As you slowly start to feel your emotional limbs again you realize that you’ve spent way too much time wallowing. Perhaps more time than you should have allowed yourself (although let’s be honest, the time frame was never up to you). The weird part about the recovery process is that you’ll spend a lot of time still going through the motions of the person that was build throughout the previous stages. You’ll continue to make mistakes. Indulge in those vices. A stray sad thought will shatter through your psyche in a burst of what feels like inverse clarity. But you’re gaining control again, you know what you must do, and you’re making the steps to get there.

And you’re going to get there.

And things will be okay.

You know they will.

[starf]

H O U R G L A S S

I often feel as though I were trapped in the center of an hourglass, hopelessly attempting to keep the sand from pouring through. It is unclear why I am there or what any of it symbolizes, and yet there it is time and time again. I can see myself stretched out, arms and legs pressed against smooth glass walls. The circumference is almost wider than I can even reach, so I struggle to hold on. All this while attempting to keep sand from flowing around me, and yet I am only one body.

This place isn’t bound to physical law though, and so the form warps and trembles often. Sometimes it closes in and allows me reprieve, a moment to catch my breath. I sit boxed in but content. Above the squeeze or below? These details are unimportant, just know that this is the place where I exist. I already explained that it is not bound to physical law.

And so here I am again.

I am sitting down as the prison has allowed me such comfort, but the sand is still permitted to flow. I am really good at stopping it in this position, but I can never catch it all. The color is hard to pin down in this light, sometimes the sand appears to simply be a burnt shade of orange, but every once in awhile a glimmer of light seeps in from somewhere impossible and I swear I catch a glimpse of blue. Beautiful blue, somewhere beyond the color spectrum I am familiar with. It is actually a color I’ve never truly seen before, but my innate senses tell me that it would be identified as blue nonetheless. So I roll with it.

The sand pours behind me, I stretch out and press my back against the wall. I can’t handle this right now. Deep breath as I awkwardly shift my body sideways and attempt to plug the hole by curling into ball. The benefit of this situation is that I now have my eyes shut tight and can’t tell how badly I’m failing, yet it feels like I am accomplishing my task. I think and I know and so it must be true.

I feel that I am only lying to myself.

There was a time that I would find this predicament poetic. That I would tell myself that I am truly accomplishing something here. Now I find myself going through these motions unsure of why I persist. Familiarity? Routine? Because I have no where else to go? These upsetting notions are all potential answers. But here in the hypothetical valley they are just as plausible as the idea that what I am doing is something grand and important.

The hourglass, a symbol of my life passing before my very eyes.

The sand, a symbol of my own willingness to complete this metaphor.

Me, a symbol of nothing important.

And of course the wolves that surround this enclosure, a symbol of my inability to paint the entire picture.

These are mere suggestions, though, and it is up to you to decide what anything truly means here. The funny thing about hourglasses is that they resemble the trite old symbol of infinity. Funny I should find myself in the middle of infinity once again.

In this world - the true world bound by physical law - we struggle with our existence between infinities. There is a vast universe that threatens to depress us into oblivion if we even bother to ponder it too hard. And therein lies the collision (and collusion) because we are also infinitely able to travel inward through out own psyche. Realms unknown even to us, hidden in our own brains!

Use your very own infinity to comprehend the shared infinity we all inhabit, if you dare.

The thing about infinity is that it’s just a little too much to handle all the time. It stretches and warps and threatens to ruin you if you stare just a little too long. But it is fun to play around in from time to time. There is a cosmic joke being played on us, a universe of infinite expansion being dangled like a carrot in front of our own crazed cravings to fill up the infinity within. And we never will. And we never will. And we never will.

I can feel the sands of my own infinite mentality draining slowly back into reality.

I am dangerously close to giving up.

I cannot see how much sand is left.