dude. my life fucking rules. feathered velociraptor shleich figurine for $2 at the op shop. captain of one of my favourite ferries complimented my shirt TWICE (and we are now introduced!). new friend waved me over to sit next to her in a lecture. found a way to make my pony collection even more enjoyable. sky was so beautiful it was a crazy pale blue and there were cirrus clouds catching the sun. the ocean looked like molten green glass. I'm going swimming in the sea and having lunch with a few friends in a weeks time. I've earned 500 dollars this week just from my art which is a milestone I didn't expect to hit without joining a company. I'm not feeling as fatigued as usual. it rained in the morning which was really lovely. I thought I was going to be super late for uni but I made it right on time. I'm kind of in love with the world today
I think it's because I've never really sat down and worked on defining a definitive version of the society the Mini Music Men have, I just keep randomly coming up with new interesting little details for it when I'm thinking about other stuff.
Like, today? I realised that Roxy would have an accent to them and they would have one to her. I also realised that the Minis that spend the most time with her would, over the course of years, probably have a weaker/more mixed accent to Roxy and vice versa, because they would end up rubbing off on each other. You'd also get accents from certain types of damage to their music boxes, and different dialects based on whether or not they still have cymbals to crash, etc. etc.
Is it a big detail? No. Will it influence anything ever? Probably not.
Simon didn't do aftersex talks. Hookups stayed that way—In mornings, he stayed silent as they slipped away, finding their things, letting out hushed breaths, exchanging awkward words, and finally the click of the door that announced leaving.
Or sometimes when he could no longer wait for them to leave. He asked rather bluntly if he could drop them home or get them breakfast on their way home.
So it was surprising when he found himself kissing you in the morning dawn, twisting against the sheets, legs all tangled.His mouth endlessly hungry to get as much taste of you—nibling, biting, smiling into the sleep soft skin. Pressing you underneath him as his hips rolled and he fucked you again, the again of many agains.
It's even more surprising when he listened like a scared deer, as you murmured this and that on the small couch snuggled with him. Empty coffee cups and crumb smeared plate on the table. Because he was afraid going out meant losing you—that if he breathed too hard, looked at the door too long, you might remember to leave him.
“So I got it,” you snorted, nose pressed against his naked bicep—“Just to wash my back. God I love burning my money sometimes.”
Simon played with your hair, all messed unlike last nights lustre. He loved this. He loved the sound of your laughter, “I can't reach my back, because...well because.”
You chuckled at him. Ofcourse. Big man.
“I can do it for you.” you said then, “You know what, let's take a bath, I feel like I stink.”
“Ya' smell sexy darling.” Simon said. He wondered if this is what it should be all about.
“Shut up, do you have those all in one like most men?”
—
It turned out Simon actually didn't do things like most men. Like he was honest.
“They were on sale,” he said, a bit nervous to sit naked in the tub. His knees shot up at awkward angles, looking awkward—too big—and he didn't know why he let you see all the pieces. Bedroom naked was different than this. He felt your hands gliding across his shoulders and it made his heart quicken.
What must you see?
Was he ugly? Was he disgusting?
In this bright yellow light you could see him all, his threads, the fading red slashes, some already silver.
You said nothing about it. Later.
“Good deal honey,” you touched the knot at the back of his neck, “And aloevera...smells nice too!”
“I know the place, would get it for you...if ye’ like it.”
“Thanks.” you ran your fingertips there before the soap foamed loofah smeared white in bursting small bubbles. Back and forth as he talked, mostly replied, hesitant, rather fast. Then his shoulders relaxed and words eased into calm.
“L—” he started, “O—”
You grinned. Making V on his soaped back
“V...E.”
“What is it?” you asked, pouring water now and his skin glistened under it. Shoulder balls looking like rubbed orb.
“Love.” Simon said. Wasn't it?
Who would sit here in the water with him and wash his back and speak sweet nothings, if not love.
synopsis. he’s known you since you were kids and uses the “we’re going to different places, let’s just do it once” excuse. after all, you owe it to him, don’t you? he’s had your back for so many years…
part of my kinktober series!
deciding to move so far away from the place and people you've known your whole life wasn't easy at all. that was the truth. what was harder to leave behind though, was your best friend.
the two of you had been a pair longer than you could remember. you've watched each other go through every stage of life so far, through every shitty haircut and awkward stage of puberty. he's the one who always waited outside your house when you were running late to give you a ride to wherever you needed to be. the one who held you after a bad day or a horrible breakup.
he's stuck with you through it all.
as you now lie in his bed on your side with your limbs slotted through his, you take in the way his room looks the same as it always does. you want to remember it, as you know you won't be seeing it in a long time. it's like him. an organized mess, easy to navigate if you know it. the smell of clean linens and heady cologne are so familiar that it makes you ache at the thought of leaving it behind. that, and you're so used to the hum of his ceiling fan and the faint whirring noise of the monitor.
"can't believe you're actually doing it," he says quietly, his voice not teasing for once, and that makes it sound so much more real and unnerving. a part of you wishes he'd make a joke at this time to alleviate all the anxieties you're going through. "feels fake. like you'll call me tomorrow and say you changed your mind."
you smile, but it's small. "you'd like that too much."
"yeah," he says, under his breath, eyes flicking down to your mouth before he catches himself. "i would."
the silence that follows isn't uncomfortable, but it is full of all the things you're both too scared to say. you shift impossibly closer and squeeze his body, closing your eyes tightly. if you think hard enough, you're sure you can merge the two of you together. strange and a little needy, perhaps, but you can't control yourself right now. he doesn't move away, moving a big hand to stroke your hair gently.
"you're gonna forget about me," he says thoughtfully.
you hug him tighter and shake your head, hating the fact that he's even considering that right now. how could you forget the most important person in your life? he's practically your soulmate. you couldn't forget about him if you tried. "not true."
"you say that now."
tipping your head up, you meet his gaze full on as his hands continue stroking your hair and body. you try to gauge what's on his mind right now, but you come up blank. you wonder why he feels compelled to say this all to you now, the night before you leave. still, you defend yourself and your relationship with him. "you're my best friend. you think that changes just because I'm not two streets away anymore?"
after a long pause, he murmurs, "still doesn't feel fair."
"what doesn't?"
"that I only get one more night with you."
it feels as though he has something on his mind that he's not telling you, which isn't a good sign. back when you were kids, the two of you had sworn to never hide anything from each other. good or bad, secrets had to be divulged so the two of you could work it out together.
he lets out a long sigh, cupping your cheek with his warm palm to keep your head facing him. his eyes stay on you as he speaks again. "you know," he starts slowly, his voice softer than usual, "i've always kind of… looked out for you."
you frown a little, not sure where this is going. "yeah, i know."
"no, i mean…" he pauses, runs a hand through his hair, and laughs under his breath. "i mean really looked out for you. since we were kids."
you press your cheek into his bicep, blinking up at him. "mhm..."
he exhales slowly. "i just keep thinking about how many times i've seen you cry... or get hurt... or make a mistake, and every time, i just- i don't know. i've just had your back, always. i'm your protector."
he shifts a little closer without meaning to, his voice getting more quiet. "like when you got into that accident and cut your leg. remember that? you were bleeding down your knee and crying so much, but i carried you all the way back to your house even though you were fussing the whole time."
you snort at the memory, embarrassed by your theatrics from years ago, but he doesn't join in on your laughter. his gaze remains steady on yours. "and every time some guy treated you like shit," he continues, "i waited until you were somewhere safe and away from him... and i taught him a lesson." you open your mouth to say something, but he keeps talking, he's afraid if he stops, he won't have the courage to start up again. and this is his last chance to lay it bare on you.
"i used to think I was just being a good friend," he says quietly. "you know, the protective one. the one who makes sure you get home safe, carries your bag when you're tired and keeps an extra hoodie for you because you always forget yours. but lately, i keep wondering if that's all it was. if I just..." he breaks off, shakes his head. "i don't know. maybe I'm just talking nonsense."
your heart starts beating faster without warning. "no, keep going. please." you whisper. "what are you trying to say?"
"just that..." he pauses, looking down at you. you figure what he's about to say must be very serious, because he sits up fully, then tugs you up so you're straddling him and looking into his eyes. "i want to make sure you don't go out into the world and give yourself up to some guy who might want you for the wrong reason. and then i won't be there to stop you or tell you he's a dick. i want to make sure your first time is special and safe. with someone you love."
you gasp when he sits you upright, your knees on either side of his hips and your crotch placed right on his. he holds the dip of your waist in his big hands, gripping you firmly so you stay in the position he put you in. your chest pressed to his, your lower halves squished together...
"you love me, don't you?"
"of course i do." you breathe out, not knowing why you're so winded all of a sudden. he bites his lower lip and groans, tugging you in closer. "say it properly."
"i love you. a-a lot."
he hums, pressing his lips to your cheek, then slowly moving them down to your jaw to trail his kisses up to your ear. "you'll let me have it then, won't you? your first time with the man you love," he says directly in your ear, one hand moving down to cup your ass through your thin pj bottoms, while the other slips sneakily under your shirt to rest against your tummy. you don't answer, soft sighs leaving you at the pleasurable sensations of his hands and mouth on you.
of course it would be okay for him to have it. why wouldn't it be? he's your best friend. no one in the whole world is closer to you than him. and he's shown how much he loves you back all the years he's been protecting you, taking care of you, reassuring you when you felt sad or unworthy. and you'd been each others firsts in other regards as well. he'd been the first to take you on a date, sleep over in your bed, and kiss you. he'd taught you how when you were younger and curious.
the both of you were laughing under the covers of your bed even though you'd told your parents he was going to sleep on the floor. he'd asked so sweetly, "have you been kissed yet, sweetheart?" when you'd kept giggling and told him no, he'd tugged you in his arms and promised he'd teach you how, and gosh, he did.
it had been sloppy at first - your noses kept bumping and the way your tongue rolled over his was sloppy, but he was patient and sweet with you, coaxing your lips to mold perfectly against his and to go at a slow, even pace until you melted into it.
it hadn't been a one time occurrence either.
after that night, you both pretended it hadn't meant anything more than teaching you. it was easier than admitting how he'd looked at your mouth every time you smiled after, or how your stomach twisted whenever he drew you to him for more "practice".
now, as his lips moved to yours and he began to kiss you slowly and gently, you couldn't find it in yourself to say anything but; "mmm... mhm, y-you can have it..."
mtch... the way his lips continued moving against yours had your brain melting. his tongue had slipped past the barrier now and had started to roll over yours, and you could feel him lift your top up to your shoulders to expose your chest. he's going so slow. taking his time to get you ready and focus on your pleasure, while giving you a chance to back out.
"you taste so good," he praises, pulling back just enough to lick his lips and catch more of your taste on his tongue, while sliding your shirt up over your head. his comes off right after. moaning into your mouth, he tilts his head to catch your tongue at a better angle, rolling it over yours noisily. "ahh- you always taste so good."
you feel heat pooling low in your body at his ministrations. the kisses are so slow and syrupy that it feels like he's devouring you with that big tongue of his deep in your mouth. his lips are closed around yours firmly, meaning you couldn't break away if you wanted. anticipation for more causes you to act without thinking, and you find yourself nudging your hips back and forth. your clothed hole rubs against the thickening bulge in his pants, catching against the fabric and creating delicious friction.
your tongues move together in tandem as your hips buck against one another. "ah- can't take much more baby," he warns, grabbing on your hips and pulling back slightly. both your gazes flick momentarily to the saliva stringing between your separated mouths. "gonna make your first time so special."
—
"mngh-! slow down, please!"
the pitiful pleading coming from your parted, swollen lips are the best you can muster as your best friend holds your thighs apart, pushing his fingers in and out of you traitorously slow. when he said he was going to make you feel special, you hadn't expected him to be fixated on your pleasure for over an hour. one hand keeps you still, while he slides two of fingers in to the knuckle. his mouth, on the other hand, is busy with your tasting you, his tongue laving over your pussy and swirling circles against the puffy folds.
"but i mmh... -can't..." he says with a mouthful of you, eyes hooded and dark. "gotta make sure you're ready for me."
his voice sends vibrations up your core, making you shiver and buck your hips closer to his face involuntarily. he grins, delving his tongue between your slick folds once more, savoring the sweet juices leaking out of you. as his fingers curl inside you, his tongue laps at you greedily.
your breathy moans fall on deaf ears as he continues fucking his fingers into you while now rubbing and shaking his tongue over your pussy. he has your arousal dribbles down his chin, and he's making the filthiest noises possible - half from the squelching of your pussy and half from his groans. "you taste so good - gosh. why've you been hiding this pretty pussy from me?"
you whimper pathetically, your voice hoarse from the involuntary cries of rapture that have been spilling from your lips for the past hour.
"asked you a question." he chastises, punishing you by slowing his fingers in you, making sure you feel every press of his fingertips against your soft walls, and the scrape of his knuckles against them.
when he twists his fingers inside you and shoves them back in at full force, you're forced to answer through a cry, unable to endure much more of this. "fuck! i'm sorry, i don't know!" you say, followed by a loud cry of his name.
each thrust of his hand forces a shudder of pleasure through your trembling body, your back arching off the bed as you writhe beneath his touch. "we should've done this before, hm? way sooner." his grip tightens on your thighs as he works a third finger into your slick channel. your thoughts are hazing with the intensity of it all.
"there now, just relax," he murmurs, placing a lingering kiss on your aching, swollen clit. " ''m not stopping 'til i've had my fill of this pussy."
he plunges his tongue deep into your dripping folds, fucking your weeping hole with the hot, thick tongue. his fingers curl and beckon, stroking along your clenching walls, stirring your insides and forcing your arousal to gush forth.
he drinks it down as if it were the finest ambrosia, his mouth lapping and suckling greedily as he works you towards your impending climax.
your body grinds against him, seeking more of the blissful torment that only he can provide. he persists, slipping his tongue into your weeping hole alongside his fingers, feeling your walls fluttering around him, gripping and squeezing as they anticipate his thick cock stretching them even further.
"y'close, aren't you?" he asks, circling his tongue inside of you before popping it out so he can finger you hard and fast. "lemme have it then. cum for me."
he sees your body seizing up, your muscles locking as your orgasm crashes over you in waves. you scream and throw your head back. your pussy clamps around his fingers, rippling and milking the digits as if trying to pull them deeper. he works you through your orgasm relentlessly, pumping his fingers to make your juices gush out to coat his hand and drip down onto the bed.
slipping his fingers free, he brings them up to his mouth and licks them clean before kneeling on the bed, his rigid cock jutting out and slapping up against his stomach. its so swollen from how long he'd been holding back from cumming, as toying with you had nearly brought him to the edge. his cock leaks shiny rivulets of precum down his shaft, wetting his heavy balls.
"i can't wait anymore," he says desperately, gripping your hips and yanking you towards him, pulling you into position to take his aching cock inside.
he wraps one hand around the base, stroking it languidly as he notches the broad tip against your hole. the warmth radiating from your core envelops the head of his cock as he teases you with the promise of being filled beyond capacity. he takes his time, rubbing himself up and down your slit, coating himself in your mess.
whining at the stimulation, your eyes widen as you feel his tip slide between your folds. "you're okay baby," he murmurs. " 'm gonna go real slow f'you, m'kay?"
"k-kay..."
he begins to push forward, his cock slowly sinking inside of you inch by throbbing inch. he doesn't stop until he's buried to the hilt, his heavy balls resting against your ass, and kissing your womb. you keen and squirm, your back arching helplessly as your body struggles to take the sheer size of him.
he lets out another shaky groan and tips his head back at the feeling of your walls squeezing him like you're trying to pull him even deeper than the hilt he's already bottomed out at.
"oh hell…" the words spill out of him in a hoarse, wrecked groan, his eyes squeezing shut for a second because the reality of finally being inside you almost knocks him out. "you're… fuck, you're so tight. pussy's hugging my cock."
you make a broken, high-pitched sound, fingers scrambling for something. he threads his hands through yours and pins them above your head, grounding you with his weight over you and the warmth of his body. his hips stay absolutely still, cock buried so deep inside it feels like he's in your guts. you can feel him throbbing inside you, impatience vibrating through his body even as he forces himself to stay still for you to adjust.
"look at me," he whispers, brushing his nose across your cheek. "lemme see those eyes. wanna see you while you take your first cock."
you blink up at him, watery and overwhelmed, and his expression shifts entirely. his mouth falls open just a little, like he's seeing something he's wanted his entire life finally in front of him.
"yeah," he breathes, "that's it. that's my girl."
you shudder under him, the praise shooting straight down your spine, making your pussy clench around him again. he feels it, every tiny squeeze, and it coaxes a deep, guttural sound out of his chest. his hips twitch forward without permission.
"d-don't-" you gasp, nails digging into his forearm. "you're… you're so big…"
"i know, baby. i know. just keep breathing, yeah?"
you try. you really do. but every inhale is shaky as your walls stretch and pulse around him. it's too much and not enough all at once. the fullness, the heat, the impossible pressure of him sitting so deep inside. he shifts slightly forward, flared tip nudging your womb, and your mouth falls open on a soft sob.
he freezes instantly. "was that good or too much?"
"g-good," you squeak, your thighs trembling around him.
his eyes darken, pupils blown wide. "yeah? felt good when i moved?"
you nod frantically, squeezing at his hands tightly to stop yourself from crying at the stretch. and then he pulls out just enough to feel the drag of your tight, slick walls clinging to him; before pushing back in so slowly.
"there she is…" he groans, thrusting just a little deeper, savoring the way your pussy flutters helplessly around him. "my perfect girl takes me so well."
his hips grind against yours, each movement deliberate, slow enough that you can feel every ridge and vein of him sliding inside you. your walls clench around him instinctively, a wet, pulsing squeeze that makes his teeth grit with need. he leans down, brushing his lips against your shoulder, then trailing hot, wet kisses down your collarbone as his cock bottoms out.
"you feel so perfect," he groans, his hands squeezing yours to keep you anchored while he rocks slowly in and out, teasing the tip against your womb.
he leans down, capturing your lips in another sloppy, desperate kiss while he thrusts into you slow and deep.
"'m all in your guts, sweetheart." he leans forward so his cock nudges even deeper inside you. "feel me filling you…' gonna make you cum so many times." he keeps going, slow, deliberate, causing your walls to clamp hard and milk his cock, and he knows immediately by the way your body locks up that you're seconds from shattering completely.
"cum for me, baby," he rasps, thrusting deep once, letting you ride the edge as your body convulses. "let go… let me hear it…"
your orgasm rips through you, your back arching as waves of pure pleasure crash over you. he groans loudly, letting you ride the tremors of your body as he watches you writhe under him.
the second your walls clamp tight around him, slick and squeezing him deeper on purpose, he chokes on a breath, fingers squeezing yours. "ah- my god, i can't hold much longer if you keep doing that-" he warns, now driving into you like an animal.
his hips snap forward, fucking into you with sharp, needy thrusts that make your body jolt up the bed with each one. he's panting against your mouth, forehead pressed to yours, breath hot and frantic. he gasps, thrusting harder, deeper. then he moves one hand under your knee to push your leg up, opening you wider. the new angle makes you cry out loud. he moans when he hears it, hips stuttering before slamming forward again.
"that's it, that's my girl. mngh- i can't slow down, i can't..." his voice is frantic, breath hitching. "been holding back all night, and now you're- ngh-gripping me like you wanna make me cum inside you-"
"yes," your whine. "y-yeah, i want it, please-!"
he loses it the second you say it, and slams one last time into you, so deep his hips tremble against yours, and he breaks. his cock throbs violently inside you, pulsing hard as hot, thick ropes spill deep in your cunt and coat your walls.
he cums so hard his body shakes above you, face pressed to yours as he pumps every last drop into you with shallow, rough thrusts that drag his sensitive cock through the slick warmth he just filled.
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summary: steve harrington should be listening while his friends are talking. instead, he’s watching you from across the room, curled up with a book, like he hasn’t been in love with you for years already.
warnings/tags: steve harrington x reader, established relationship, tooth-rotting fluff, soft steve harrington, roommates / found family, reader wears glasses, soft teasing, steve harrington being in love, no use of y/n, alternate universe tbh no upside down drama, no spoilers
wc: ~1.3k
cutie lace divider by: @uzmacchiato
Steve Harrington is supposed to be listening.
That’s usually easy enough. This kitchen, their kitchen, has seen enough late-night conversations and half-burnt dinners and arguments that turn into laughter to make listening second nature. He knows the rhythm of it all. Knows Robin’s pacing when she’s mid-rant, the way Jonathan leans like he’s trying to disappear into walls, the way Nancy always ends up holding a mug whether she remembers pouring herself something or not.
They’re roommates. All of them, in one way or another. Technically, it’s Steve, Robin, and you on the lease, the ones who split rent, argue over utilities, and pretend not to notice when the grocery bill gets a little too high. But Jonathan and Nancy are there so often they might as well have their own bedroom and designated mugs in the cupboard. There’s a drawer that somehow became Jonathan’s, a stack of Nancy’s papers that never leaves the counter, shoes by the door that no one questions anymore. Found family stacked into a too-small house with creaky floors and mismatched chairs, a fridge covered in notes that say things like who finished the milk?? and don’t eat this and seriously, Robin.
Robin is currently mid-story, hands moving wildly as she talks, voice bouncing off the cabinets as she recounts some disastrous interaction at Family Video earlier that day. Jonathan’s leaning against the counter, nodding along, occasionally adding a dry comment that makes Nancy snort into her mug. It’s easy and familiar and comfortable in the way only shared history can be.
Steve is physically present.
Mentally, though? He’s gone.
He’s sitting at the small kitchen table, one leg hooked around the rung of the chair, elbow propped up, chin resting in his palm. His eyes aren’t on Robin as she talks, and they’re not on Jonathan or Nancy either.
They’re on you.
You’re curled up at the far end of the couch, tucked into the corner like you’ve always belonged there, which, really, you have. One socked foot is folded beneath your thigh, the other lazily nudging against the armrest. You’re wrapped in one of Steve’s old sweatshirts, the navy one with the frayed cuffs he refuses to get rid of, and the sleeves are pulled down over your hands as you hold your book.
Your hair is still a little messy from the bun you’d had it in earlier, now loose and soft around your face. Big frame glasses sit low on your nose, catching the lamplight every time you shift. There’s a crease between your brows as you read, lips moving ever so slightly like you’re mouthing the words in your head. Every once in a while, you pause, thumb marking the page with a dog ear, gaze drifting unfocused as you think about whatever you just read.
Steve watches like it’s the most important thing in the world.
It hits him the same way it always does, quiet and sudden and overwhelming. That familiar swell in his chest, the one that makes him feel sixteen and twenty-three and something in between, and all at once. Like he’s still discovering you, even after all this time.
Several years together. Shared mornings where one of you wakes up before the other and just stays. fears whispered into pillows. Shared grocery lists written in different handwriting and lazy Sundays spent doing absolutely nothing. Shared silence that never feels empty.
And still, this.
Still the way his heart stutters when you absently tuck your hair behind your ear. Still the way the world seems to narrow until it’s just you and the soft sound of your book pages turning, like the rest of life has dimmed itself out of respect.
“Steve.”
Robin snaps her fingers in front of his face.
He blinks. Once. Twice.
“Huh?”
Nancy raises an eyebrow, lips twitching in amusement as she takes in her best friend. Jonathan glances past him, follows his line of sight, and immediately understands.
“Oh,” Jonathan says, like something has just clicked into place. His eyes dart toward Nancy and they have a small conversation with their eyes before she also follows his line of sight.
“Oh,” Nancy echoes, amused.
Robin turns slowly, dramatically, like she’s afraid of spooking a wild animal.
“You’re doing it again,” she says.
Steve frowns. “Doing what?”
“The thing,” Robin says. “The staring. The,” she gestures vaguely at his face, “the ‘I have never seen a human woman before in my life’ expression.”
Steve straightens, defensive. “I’m not staring.”
Nancy takes a sip of her coffee. “You haven’t blinked in, like, a full minute.”
Jonathan checks his watch. “Honestly, it might be longer.”
“Kinda impressive, honestly.” Nancy grins from behind her mug.
Steve scoffs, cheeks warming. “You guys are being dramatic.”
Robin grins, one that’s equal parts sharp and knowing. “Buddy, you look like you’re one piano ballad away from proposing.”
That finally gets a reaction out of you.
You glance up from your book, eyes flicking from Robin to Steve. “Proposing what?”
Steve’s ears turn red at that, as if marriage and kids hadn’t already been a familiar topic between the two of you—one that’s whispered beneath the shadows of your shared bedroom.
“Nothing,” he says quickly. “She’s lying.”
Robin gasps. “Wow. Bold of you to accuse me of slander in my own kitchen.”
You smile at their light bickering, soft and fond, the corner of the page still pinched between your fingers. “What were you staring at, then?”
Steve opens his mouth but nothing comes out.
He looks at you, really looks at you, and his expression gives him away entirely. The warmth in his eyes, the way his shoulders soften, as if the rest of the room fades the second you have his attention.
You tilt your head, amused. “Steve?”
Jonathan mutters, “Oh my god,” under his breath.
Steve finally exhales, defeated but smiling. “You.”
Robin throws her hands up, her voice half yell and half laughter. “There it is.”
Nancy can’t help but laugh too. “You’d think after years he’d be over it.”
Steve shakes his head, earnest, as he shrugs. “Never.”
Your smile gentles, something warm blooming in your chest. You place your book mark (a Polaroid of you and Steve from the previous Christmas) between the pages, close your book, setting it aside on the arm of the couch, and stand. You cross the short distance into the kitchen, steps unhurried. When you stop between his knees, it feels like muscle memory on both sides, his hands already lifting, already settling at your hips where they always fit so naturally.
You turn and sink into his lap, sideways, fitting against him like it was always meant to be this easy. One arm slips around his shoulders, the other resting loosely against his chest. He exhales a long and quiet breath, forehead tipping just slightly toward you.
You lean down then, pressing a kiss to his lips, soft, familiar, sweet.
“Hi,” you murmur.
Steve smiles like you’ve just handed him the moon. “Hi.”
Robin watches the whole thing with a dramatic gag. “I feel like I need to leave you two a room. Or maybe the whole house.”
Jonathan snorts but doesn’t move. Nancy doesn’t either, just smiles into her mug, with a look that reads nothing but fondness.
Steve huffs. “Rude.”
You laugh, resting your forehead against his. “Let him,” you say softly. “I kinda like it.”
Steve’s grip tightens protectively, just a little. His thumb traces absent circles at your hip, grounding himself in the simple fact that you’re real, you’re here, you chose him again today.
Conversation drifts back in around you. Robin keeps talking, Jonathan adding comments, and Nancy listens like always. Life continues, overlapping and warm.
Steve doesn’t stop staring, because he never will, and somewhere in the quiet center of his chest, steady and certain, is the thought that always comes back to him in moments like this:
If this is the rest of his life, shared kitchens and teasing friends and you curled into him without hesitation, then he’s already won.
The room is noisy in that unique way that only a girls' night out can be—soft music playing, snacks strewn about, one girl braiding the hair of another. The summer heat still lingers on your skin from the whole day spent outside, but the air conditioning is humming quietly while you all lie sprawled out on beds and the floor.
The chatter begins innocently. Crushes, then relationships, then the details.
“Okay but—” Mina flops onto her stomach, kicking her feet in the air, eyes locking onto you with a grin that’s way too knowing. “I need to understand something.”
You already know where this is going.
She props her chin in her hands. “What is so good about Bakugou?”
The room goes quiet for half a second, and then explodes.
“Right?!” Asui’s voice echoes faintly from the other room.
“He’s so mean!” Hagakure adds.
“He is intense, but I can imagine he’s different when you get close to him,” Yaoyorozu corrects politely, though she looks just as curious.
All eyes land on you.
You roll your eyes, grabbing a chip just to give yourself a second. “You guys don’t know him like I do.”
Mina narrows her eyes. “That’s exactly why I’m asking.”
And for a moment, you don’t answer.
Because yeah—on the outside? They’re not wrong.
You think about the first time he snapped at you during training, his sharp words, harsh tone, not even looking at you when he walked off. You remember standing there, embarrassed, annoyed and a little hurt.
You’d ignored him the rest of the day.
Until later.
Until he showed up at your door that night, he didn’t knock, he just stood there when you opened it, arms crossed, jaw tight.
“…You were off your game,” he muttered.
You’d stared at him. “Wow. That’s a great apology.”
His scowl deepened. “That wasn’t—” He cut himself off, exhaling sharply. Then, quieter, rougher, “I pushed you too hard.”
That had surprised you more than anything.
Bakugou didn’t say sorry easily. Even after all these years together he didn’t say it cleanly. But he’d stood there anyway, awkward and stubborn, refusing to leave until you let him in.
And then he stayed in your dorm, he didn’t say much. Except the large arms wrapped around you spoke larger volumes.
You blink back to the present, realizing everyone’s still waiting.
Mina waves a hand in front of your face, smirking. “Helloooo? You just zoned out thinking about him, didn’t you?”
A few giggles ripple through the room.
You sigh, but there’s a small smile tugging at your lips now.
“He’s…a lot that’s for sure” you admit.
“Understatement of the year,” Jirou mutters.
“But,” you continue, sitting up a little straighter, “he always makes it right.”
They quiet down again.
You think about another time, when he forgot something important. A date, the day of your first date to be more specific. Not even a big one, just something that mattered to you. You hadn’t told him, but you’d hoped he’d remember.
He didn’t.
It was the silent treatment for him yet again.
But the next morning? He cornered you before class, clearly already irritated—at himself, not you.
“…I screwed up.”
No excuses, and certainly no deflecting. That wasn’t his style.
Then, later that week, he dragged you out—complaining the whole time—only for it to turn into something ridiculously thought out. Your favorite food, your favorite spot, things you’d mentioned once in passing.
The whole day revolved around you, he bought everything you wanted, despite your protests. And he even managed to smile.
He remembered, just a day late.
“…He messes up sometimes,” you say now, softer. “A lot, actually.”
Mina raises a brow like exactly.
“But he never half-asses fixing it, we all know that about him,” you add. “If he thinks he hurt me, he goes overboard trying to make it up.”
There’s a pause.
You glance down at your hands, then shrug lightly. “He doesn’t do things the normal way. But he cares. A lot.”
“Like, scary a lot,” you mumble under your breath.
Jirou snorts.
Yaoyorozu hums thoughtfully. “That does sound like him, in a way.”
Hagakure leans forward. “Okay but like, does he ever say anything nice??”
You hesitate.
Then you huff out a quiet laugh.
“Not really,” you admit. “At least not like you’d expect.”
Mina groans dramatically. “Girl—”
“But,” you cut in, “he shows it.”
And you don’t say more than that.
You don’t mention the way he always walks slightly behind you or beside you in crowded places, always making sure you’re in his line of sight. Always aligning his body to slightly shield you whenever you stop to look at something.
Or how he memorized your schedule without telling you.
Or how his hand always finds yours when no one’s looking.
Across the room, Mina studies you for a second longer then slowly grins.
“Oh my god,” she says. “You’re so down bad.”
Heat rushes to your face. “Shut up, you asked.”
The room bursts into laughter again, the tension breaking just like that.
But as the noise picks back up, your phone buzzes quietly beside you.
You glance down.
Suki: You ate?
You smile small and automatic.
And type back: Yeah. Did you?
The reply comes almost instantly.
Suki: Don’t worry about me. Just don’t skip meals, idiot.
You roll your eyes, but your chest feels warm.
Yeah.
They don’t get it.
But you do.
—
UA HIGH COMMON ROOMS:
The other common room next door is packed tonight, third years have way more freedom, which apparently means more chaos. Someone’s got music playing, Kaminari’s laughing too loud at something dumb, and Kirishima is in the middle of what looks like a very serious “bro discussion.”
Which quickly turns into everyone ganging up on one person.
“Alright, Bakugou,” Kaminari says, pointing like he’s finally cracked a mystery. “From man to fellow man, enough dodging.”
Across the room, Katsuki Bakugou barely glances up from his drink. “I’m not dodging anything. You’re just annoying.”
“Bro,” Sero cuts in, “you literally have a girlfriend.”
Bakugou’s eyes narrow. “…So?”
“So??” Kaminari practically launches off the couch. “SO—how?!”
Kirishima leans forward, grinning. “C’mon, man, we’re in our last year and half of us are still single. Help us out.”
Bakugou scoffs. “Skill issue.”
“THAT’S NOT ADVICE,” Kaminari yells.
Shouji chuckles. “Seriously though, what did you even do? Like how’d you pull her?”
That gets a reaction.
Bakugou’s glare sharpens instantly. “The hell do you mean ‘pull’?”
“Okay, bad wording—” Shouji starts.
“Yeah, real bad,” Kirishima mutters.
Bakugou clicks his tongue, leaning back like this is already a waste of time. “You idiots act like it’s some game.”
“…Is it not?” Sero asks.
“No,” Bakugou says flatly. “That’s why you keep screwing it up.”
There’s a pause.
Kirishima crosses his arms, still smiling but more thoughtful now. “Alright, then what is it?”
Bakugou doesn’t answer right away.
For a second, his gaze shifts—just slightly—toward the hallway. Or, more accurately the room that the hallway leads to.
Then he looks back, expression settling into something firm.
“…You stop acting like you need one,” he says.
Kaminari blinks. “What?”
“If you’re desperate, it shows,” Bakugou continues. “And it’s annoying as hell.”
Sero groans. “Great. So we’re doomed.”
“Pretty much,” Bakugou mutters.
Kirishima chuckles. “C’mon, there’s gotta be more to it than that.”
Bakugou exhales sharply, like he’s debating whether to even bother.
“…You find someone who can actually keep up,” he says finally. “Not just in fights. In everything.”
“Everything?” Kaminari echoes.
“Yeah. Someone who doesn’t back down every time you push them. Someone who calls you out when you’re being an idiot.”
There’s a beat.
Sero raises a brow. “I know damn well she does that to you.”
Bakugou shoots him a look. “Watch it.”
Kirishima grins wider. “Sounds kinda perfect for you, man.”
Bakugou doesn’t deny it.
Instead, he keeps going, voice a little lower now, but still steady.
“You don’t lie to her. You don’t play games. If you screw up, you fix it.” His jaw tightens slightly. “And you don’t half-ass it.”
Kaminari tilts his head. “…You’ve screwed up before?”
Bakugou glares. “Obviously. I’m not you—I actually learn from it.”
“HEY—”
Sero laughs under his breath. “So what, you just… pay attention and don’t be an idiot?”
“Exactly,” Bakugou says.
They all stare at him.
“…That sounds too simple,” Kaminari says.
“That’s because you overcomplicate everything,” Bakugou snaps. “It’s not about impressing her with stupid crap. It’s about knowing her.”
“Knowing what matters to her,” he adds. “Even the small stuff. That’s all really.”
The room goes still again.
Kirishima’s smile softens a little. “You really like her, huh?”
Bakugou doesn’t even hesitate. “Yeah.”
It’s blunt, just like how he normally is. No embarrassment, no hesitation.
Kaminari exhales dramatically. “Man…we’re never catching up. Why do you gotta be so damn good at everything?”
Sero nods. “Yeah, we’re done for.”
Bakugou snorts, standing up and stretching like the conversation’s over. “Damn right you are.”
Kirishima laughs. “At least give us one last tip, man.”
Bakugou glances back at them, already halfway to leaving.
“…Don’t look for someone like mine,” he says.
They perk up instantly.
“Why not?” Kaminari asks.
Bakugou smirks—sharp, a little cocky, but not entirely joking.
“Because you won’t find her,” he says. “There’s only one.”
And with that, he walks off.
The boys sit there in stunned silence for about two seconds.
“HE’S SO GATEKEEPING, LEMME AT HIM!” Mineta shouts.
“BRO DID NOT JUST SAY THAT—”
“NAH, I RESPECT IT,” Kirishima laughs.
But Bakugou’s already gone, hands in his pockets, heading down the hall.
And when he spots you at the far end, leaning against the wall, waiting like you knew he’d show up, his whole expression shifts, just slightly.
“Finally,” he mutters as he reaches you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “Took you long enough.”
—
YOUR DORM ROOM:
Your dorm room is quieter than the rest of the floor, soft music playing low, lights dimmed just enough to feel calm after the chaos of the night.
You’re sitting against your headboard, legs stretched out, while Katsuki Bakugou lies across your bed with his head in your lap like it’s the most natural place in the world.
It kind of is for him.
Your fingers move absentmindedly through his blond hair, slow and gentle. For a guy who doesn’t care about his hair, it’s surprisingly soft.
“They’re all idiots.”
You huff a small laugh, not even surprised. “Which ones?”
“All of them,” he mutters instantly.
You smile a little, looking down at him. “That narrows it down.”
He cracks one eye open to glare up at you, but there’s no real bite to it. “Don’t play dumb. Your little gossip session was loud as hell.”
“Oh please,” you scoff. “Like yours wasn’t?”
That earns a quiet ‘tch’, but he doesn’t deny it.
There’s a brief pause, your hand still combing through his hair.
“They asked me how to get a girl,” he says flatly.
You blink. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.” His lip curls slightly. “Like I’m gonna give them some step-by-step guide or some shit.”
You laugh softly. “What did you say?”
“That they’re screwed.”
“Wow. Helpful.”
“They are,” he insists, shifting just slightly so he’s more comfortable against you. “They keep overthinking everything. Acting like it’s some big strategy.”
You tilt your head. “And you don’t?”
He snorts. “Hell no.”
Your fingers pause for a second before continuing. “The girls asked me about you.”
That gets his attention.
Both eyes open now, sharp red flicking up to meet yours. “Yeah?”
You hum. “Mina wanted to know what’s ‘so good’ about you.”
His brows knit together immediately. “The hell is that supposed to mean?”
You grin. “Her words, not mine.”
He clicks his tongue, looking away again. “Extras don’t know what they’re talking about.”
“Mm,” you murmur. “That’s what I said too. Of course minus the extra.”
There’s a small silence after that, comfortable, warm.
Then he speaks again, quieter this time.
“…They don’t get it.”
You look down at him, softer now. “No. They don’t.”
Your hand slows in his hair, tracing lightly along his scalp, and he exhales, barely noticeable, but you feel it.
“They think it’s about saying the right crap,” he continues. “Or acting a certain way.”
You nod faintly. “The girls said something similar.”
“Tch.” His jaw tightens just a little. “It’s not.”
You don’t interrupt this time.
“You just…know,” he says, like it’s obvious. “When it’s right.”
Your chest tightens slightly at that, but you keep your voice light. “Oh yeah? And how’d you figure that out?”
He goes quiet.
For a second, you think he won’t answer.
“You didn’t back down.”
You blink.
He doesn’t look at you, eyes fixed somewhere off to the side, but his voice is steady.
“Everyone else either got pissed off or avoided me,” he mutters. “You didn’t.”
A small smile tugs at your lips.
“You kept up,” he adds. “Called me out when I was being an ass.”
“Which is often,” you tease.
He huffs. “Yeah, yeah.”
Your fingers brush lightly against his temple, softer now.
“And you didn’t treat me like I was too much,” he finishes, quieter than before.
You swallow slightly, your chest warm. “You are a lot, you know.”
His eyes flick back up to you, a faint smirk forming. “Didn’t say I wasn’t.”
You shake your head, smiling.
“They’d never get it,” he mutters again.
You raise a brow. “Wow. Still on that?”
“Yeah,” he says simply. “They’re all looking for something easy.”
“…You’re not easy.”
You snort. “Gee, thanks.”
“Not like that,” he says, annoyed. “I mean you’re not fake. You don’t just go along with shit.”
Your hand stills for a second in his hair. “And I like that,” he adds, quieter.
You smile softly, resuming your gentle motions. “Good. Because I’m not changing.”
“Didn’t ask you to.”
Another comfortable silence settles over the room.
Outside, you can hear faint laughter from the rest of the dorms, but here, it feels like your own little world.
After a minute, you glance down at him again.
“So,” you murmur, teasing, “you really told them they’ll never find someone like me?”
A pause.
Then he scoffs, looking away again, but there’s a hint of something smug there.
“It’s true.”
You laugh quietly, shaking your head.
“Cocky,” you whisper.
“Realistic,” he corrects.
Your fingers slide through his hair one more time, slow and fond.
SUMMARY ➩ College in NYC seems like it’ll be your biggest life change yet, until you meet the touchy sophomore who thinks you’ve hung the stars.
AUTHORS NOTE ➩ talk abt niche… this is my own interpretation of this terrible movie lol so totally new characters and kind of a new life for the character that is Eddie! it’s meant to read as a typical 2000s romcom set in the big city with montages and a killer soundtrack so i hope you can envision it! NOT PROOFREAD smut below
The city had been just about everything you dreamed off.
You’d been a real touristy cliche, stumbling out of a taxi with a box of your belongings and your heart set on conquering the big apple. College had always been a part of your plan and you would sit in your childhood home, surrounded by the woes of suburbia, and tell yourself that if it wasn’t far away then you didn’t want to go.
You were happy to be a stereotypical freshman girl from a small town, navigating the streets of New York with a smile and too big of a heart.
Your time between classes got spent reading down in the park or trying out local coffee shops, taking the train across town just to find your way back to campus without a map. You wanted to know the city like the back of your hand, even if it took getting lost and missing lectures a few dozen times.
Everything was going exactly as it should be.
Eddie wasn’t necessarily a part of your planned out future, in fact he was pretty close to the opposite of something you would have prepared for.
He had stuck out to you from the moment you saw him, getting far too rowdy in the back corner of a bar your new friends had dragged you along to.
It already wasn’t your scene, you hadn’t been to a place with people like this back home, and the added volume from the drunk boys definitely didn’t help.
One of Eddies friends had noticed one of yours and made his way over like a snake through the tall grass, shoulders bumping carelessly with the other tipsy patrons that didn’t even spare him a glance.
She seemed to like him enough, especially when he bought you all your first round of drinks like he wasn’t on a college kids budget, and fate was practically sealed from then on out.
You didn’t really talk to Eddie much that first night and you figured he wouldn’t have remembered it even if you had, already slurring his words and laughing loudly at his friends jokes before he even made it over to get introduced to you all.
He had scanned over each new face as your names were rattled off by your friend that was now pressed against the side of his own, eyes a little glazed like he wasn’t really registering the difference between them all.
And then he reached you.
You watched his gaze pass you by and then immediately falter and bounce back in your direction, sticking on your features even after the other names began to follow yours.
You’d flushed and looked away, eventually making your way outside and bumming a cigarette off of some older woman outside who looked about as haggard as you felt. It made you cough, chest itchy and sore from the unfamiliar feeling, but you were halfway determined to be the type of girl who smoked under the rush of the city.
You hadn’t thought much about the boy and the backwards cap, even though his friend started to make an appearance weekly.
It became clear pretty quickly that things were getting serious between him and your friend, halfway roommate considering how often you escaped the dorms in favor of sleeping on her couch.
The merging of the friend groups was slow but then permanent as soon as it became a reality. Suddenly Eddie Hicks was at every social event you attended, as big as a party in somebody’s parentless townhouse and as intimate as a movie night with just the four of you.
There were plenty of words people used to describe Eddie and you weren’t necessarily a fan of any of them. He wasn’t exactly stupid he just didn’t care about his studies as much as your average peer and he certainly wasn’t as immature as others might think he was based off of a drunken night or a brief public interaction.
You thought he could be really sweet when he wanted to. His voice would get soft when it was just the two of you and he’d talk a lot more with a much lower level of volume, rambling about small subjects you didn’t really understand and showing you he had more depth than getting wasted and jumping into the fountain on campus.
He’d lose that softness when others were around and you felt a little thrown off the first few times he did it before understanding it was just how he presented himself.
It was easier for him to be the party boy that didn’t get embarrassed or nervous in a crowd.
You liked to be around Eddie and he wasn’t shy about showing you that he felt the same way. He was almost constantly at your dorm, knocking lightly at the door and encouraging you to come outside with him as soon as you would answer.
That was your favorite part about him, other than the general comfortability you had started to feel after the first few months. He loved the city more than you, more than anybody else you’d met since you’d first stepped out onto the busy streets.
Not many people around you had actually been born in New York but Eddie was a city boy down to his core. He still went to eat dinner with his mom at his childhood apartment twice a week, taking the train thirty minutes across town without hesitation, and he had barely left the zip code area he was born in before college.
He thought it was sweet that you liked to get a little lost so he wouldn’t correct you when you went on your adventures together, letting you find your way back home despite the fact he knew it was the wrong way almost every single time. You’d take a glance at his face when you would board a train car, groaning and hiding in his shoulder when you realized you had messed up again and feeling the way his frame vibrated as he laughed.
The touchiness was a whole different ballgame you weren’t sure how to navigate with him.
Honestly, you hadn’t even noticed it. It just felt natural for you to gravitate towards each other in a crowd, his hand on your lower back or yours wrapped around his arm to make sure neither of you strayed too far from the other.
You’d press up against him during movie nights and he’d let your ankles lock together, playing with your fingers absentmindedly as he watched. You fell asleep together often on long study nights or at more lowkey house parties, his head in your lap or you resting against his chest and dozing off on his shoulder.
Eddie was your friend and you liked to be around him. You weren’t exactly an expert on boys so you didn’t think much of it until everybody else started to point it out.
At first it was curious glances between the two of you and then it was full out teasing confrontation, openly commenting on it in front of both of you despite how awkward you’d get.
“She’d never go for a guy like me.” Eddie would reply with a goofy grin like it was the easiest answer in the world, his arm going around your shoulder and shaking you softly for emphasis.
You would laugh and smile fondly but it made your chest feel a little weird and tight. You figured he was just being nice, playing it safe and rejecting you but making it sound like it was for your sake.
It could be blamed on your inexperience, the lack of willing suitors back in your hometown who didn’t get to see you in your college prime, or just plain denial. You assumed that if Eddie happened to like you then he would be just as eager to let you know as his friend Alex had been that first night at the bar with yours, immediately coming over to her and not leaving her side since.
But you weren’t too upset about it because you liked to be Eddies friend more than anything, even if it got a little confusing occasionally.
Now you were right back at the same bar almost nine months since the first time, pushing your way through the crowd with only a mildly disgusted look this go around. You’d started to get used to it along with the rest of the city and its liveliness.
You still felt a rush of relief when you got through the mass of bodies and saw your friends at the back table, your favorite drink already in the empty space besides Eddie.
You easily slid into the spot next to him, barely getting out a soft greeting before he was turning to look at you and wrapping his arm around your side.
“We thought you weren’t going to make it.” Sarah was frowning slightly like the idea was a lot sadder than it was in reality due to her already tipsy state.
You liked Sarah quite a bit despite how different the two of you were, her large apartment paid for by her parents and closet full of designer clothes painting a much different picture than your own humble upbringing. She let you crash on her fancy couch when your dorm mate was being obnoxious and occasionally gave you any tops she grew out of so you figured she liked you quite a bit back.
“I missed the train.” You replied softly even though she wasn’t even really listening to your reply, going to say something you couldn’t pick up to Alex.
You turned to Eddie instead who already seemed to be waiting for your attention, hand resting lightly on your side as he pushed your drink in your direction and watched you take a slow sip.
“Again? I thought we got that down by now.” He didn’t miss the opportunity to tease you for your lack of direction and you rolled your eyes.
“It was busy okay? I got a little bit distracted and it just flew past.” You explained over the noise, faltering between sentences to slightly grimace at his cigarette smoke that was floating in the space between your faces.
He didn’t hesitate to put it out when he saw your expression, waving the air to clear the rest of it and easily catching your weight when you leaned against him in thanks.
“You totally missed it.” Sarah was suddenly speaking up again and smacking a perfectly manicured hand down on the sticky table in front of you. “Eddies been trying to get the bartenders number all night.”
Your eyes went across the crowded bar to find the woman in question, definitely a few years your senior and intimidating enough that you quickly looked away before she caught you staring. You glanced at Eddie next to find him glaring at Sarah, eyebrows furrowed and his free hand turned up like he was questioning her
“Not going well?” You attempted to ask it as causally as you could, like you were just a friend equally as invested in your buddies attempt to pick up a pretty girl as everybody else.
You could feel his hand twitching against your side and you were suddenly hyper aware of the touch that normally came so natural to the two of you, stepping to the side just enough that he would have to awkwardly stretch to keep touching you.
He dropped his hand and gave you an almost guilty look before shaking his head.
“She’s just messing around.” He tried to smooth it over and that almost made you feel more upset.
You felt like this was the worst case scenario, Eddie somehow realizing you might feel something towards him and pitying you so much he felt like he needed to lie to keep your feelings from getting hurt.
“He’s been sitting here sulking all night waiting for you.” Alex was chiming in with an attempt to make things less tense but neither of the dismissals were helping especially now that your mind had gone to less than kind places.
“I’m going to get a fresh drink.” You managed to get out, sending them a tight smile before pushing your way back into the crowd. You vaguely heard Eddie saying something sharply, most likely directly at Sarah, but you were suddenly grateful for the loud music and voices to keep you from overhearing something you wouldn’t like.
You were leaning against the bar after requesting a drink, waiting patiently with your hands tapping on the wood, when you felt him behind you.
You didn’t need to look to know who it was and you had expected him to follow you regardless, sighing softly when you felt his arms go around you from behind. You let yourself get tugged back gently until your back was against his chest, your own hands reaching near your stomach to hold his wrist.
“Want me to get her number for you?” Your eyebrows raised as you looked at the bartender who was moving from section to section smoothly, feeling him tense behind you.
Now it was his turn to sigh and his forehead rested against your shoulder for a brief moment.
“Stop it, you know I wasn’t flirting with her. I don’t think I even talked to her.” He started to defend himself and you were once again wondering why he felt the need to, if it really just stemmed from pity and a friendly attempt to save you some dignity.
“It’s fine if you were Eddie.” You shrugged and you heard him let out another huffy breath at the words. “I mean it. You can have fun on a night out.”
“I have fun when you’re here.” He said back quickly and it was slightly muffled considering his face was now pressed against your shoulder like he was planning to hide in your neck.
Your drink got placed in front of you but you ignored it for a moment, turning to face him and rubbing your hand over his ribs and chest as he let out a deep breath of possible relief.
He’d told you before how much your touch made him feel better, whispered it in a quiet room when he was positive nobody was listening.
Your nose rubbed against his and his eyes fluttered shut when your lips brushed together, never fully touching but ghosting along just enough for the thought to cross your mind. His hands had moved to your lower back to keep you tight against him but you weren’t planning on going anywhere regardless.
You pulled back just enough so you didn’t accidentally kiss him, his eyes opening and looking a bit more dejected than beforehand.
“Let’s go back.” You said softly and he hesitated but nodded eventually, grabbing your drink for you and guiding you back to the table with a hand on your waist.
You and Eddie were always like that but you were suddenly unable to get used to it.
You were hyper aware of everything, including the looks Sarah and Alex would give each other whenever they saw the two of you standing closely or touching casually. His hands felt hot on your skin and you could barely stomach rubbing over his arms softly without feeling those nearly painful butterflies.
It was starting to feel that awful right now, sat on the couch together like you’d done dozens of times before.
Your legs were sideways over his lap, sides pressed together with one of his arms behind your back to support your weight and keep you from falling against the couch. His other palm was between your thighs right above your knees, just resting there in the warm skin of your closed legs.
You had one hand in his curls and the other on his arms. It was probably your most default position for watching a movie but you felt like it was beyond intimate right now, trying your best to try ignore the way it made you think and react so you could stay close to him.
The door was opening and you barely glanced up at Alex and Sarah coming in, grocery bags in hands and mid laugh like they always seemed to be.
She sent a look your way but didn’t say anything just yet although you tensed with the anticipation. It was a few more minutes before they got the food put away and came to join you in the dimly lit living room, plopping down on a loveseat and eyeing you curiously for a moment.
“Okay seriously, what’s going on with you two?” She asked abruptly and you sighed softly, already assuming she was going to pry as soon as she saw the way you were curled around each other.
“We’re friends.” You offer her the same line you always do even though you’re aware of how ridiculous it comes across when you’re holding each other like this.
Eddie doesn’t help much at all, pressing a soft kiss to the side of your head that you’re half convinced he did just to drive her a little more crazy.
“This is hard to watch.” She sighs and sinks lower in her seat just in time to miss the handful of popcorn you throw in her direction.
Thankfully she doesn’t say anything else after the light teasing although Alex gives Eddie a wiggle of his eyebrows before getting his own spot for the movie, your eyes rolling once you catch it.
It’s almost constant lately but you really can’t blame them for their confusion considering you barely understand your relationship yourself.
The next week, you’re studying in his room, lying on your stomach in his bed and flipping through pages while you try to pretend you don’t feel him staring at you. He doesn’t even shy away when you glance up and raise an eyebrow, just giving you a soft smile and continuing watching you even when you go back to your textbook.
Eventually it starts to drive you so crazy that you have to set the book down to really stare at him.
“Hi Ed.” You keep your voice light and he finally leaves his place on the floor to come and join you on the small twin sized mattress, sitting up beside where you’re still flat on your stomach.
“Hey.” He sounds softer than normal, definitely distracted and maybe a little lost in thought.
His hand comes up to brush some of your behind your ear gently before he’s moving it lower, letting it rest on your lower back. He swipes his thumb right where the fabric of your tank top had ridden up, warming up your skin with his own.
You sigh blissfully and fold your arms in front of you so you can rest your head on them.
“You okay?” You nearly whisper and his eyes leave your back for a quick second to check your face before he’s back to staring at the area he’s touching.
“I’m… really really okay.” He says back and it’s still a bit far away sounding which makes you laugh lightly.
The air felt heavy and charged in a way you weren’t really used to and when he went back to watching your face, you almost thought he might lean down and kiss you.
You both jumped when the door swung open, intimate bubble popped immediately as Sarah and Alex burst in and barely acknowledged the fact they hadn’t even attempted to announce themselves before coming in.
Alex was sending you both a curious look and you focused back in enough after your shock to register that Eddie had taken his hand off of you rather quickly, still looking a bit suspicious with the off guard look he had on his face.
“Great news.” Sarah’s smile was bright and it was almost hard to be annoyed at her for interrupting when she seemed so excited, bouncing a little in her kitten heels and clasping her hands together in front of her. “I’ve got you both double dates for the poetry show tonight.”
“Sarah set it up.” Alex added on, she beamed like he was praising her but you figured he just wanted to shift the blame away from himself as soon as possible.
Neither of you said anything but you glanced at Eddie after a few long seconds to find him already watching you.
“No.” His voice was firm but calm, decisive despite not really having a reason to decline.
Sarah’s face fell immediately and she dropped her hands to her sides.
“But why not?” She asked desperately and shifted so she could kneel on the carpet beside the bed and really give you both a good view of her puppy eyes. “Please you know how much I love playing match maker and they’re both looking forward to it.”
“Alex.” Eddie spoke again in slight warning and your eyes went back and forth between each of your friends, trying to get a read on the silent conversation that seemed to be happy.
“I think it’s a good idea.” Alex shrugged and that made Sarah start to smile again. “And it makes her happy so.”
You didn’t realize you were frowning until you felt the familiar hand back on your skin, rubbing softly and drawing your attention right back to him. Eddie was staring at you in a way you really didn’t understand but you figured you could file it alongside the other mysteries you had surrounding him.
Sarah’s soft voice saying your name sent you spinning again, eyes meeting hers and slumping your shoulders in light defeat.
“You’ll do it?” She nearly gasped, hands reaching out to squeeze your arm.
“I mean I guess.” You sighed out, feeling terrible about disappointing her and also not being able to think of a legitimate reason you didn’t want to do it that wouldn’t immediately expose your weird feelings for the boy next to you.
Speaking of, he was getting up almost as soon as you voiced your confirmation. You tried to tune out Sarah’s excited squeals and the way she was squeezing your arm, watching as he left his own bedroom with a deep set frown.
Despite his initial refusal, the triple date ended up happening a few hours later.
You weren’t sure what Alex had said to get Eddie out of the apartment because you were too busy being dragged back to Sarah’s so she could give you a makeover.
Clearly it hadn’t been enough to get a smile on his face because he had been uncharacteristically stoic the entire night.
The bar had a much calmer crowd, soft spoken poetry replacing the usual loud music and sports television. Eddie still had never been this quiet during a night out and you felt overly guilty for agreeing to this arrangement and dragging him out in the process.
Your date was nice enough. He was supportive of the poets and asking you questions about yourself, putting your drinks on his tab and trying his best to get any type of positive response from you.
You’d given him your best attempt at a polite smile for the past two hours and your cheeks were starting to ache. You figured Eddie didn’t have the same issue because he hasn’t so much as grinned even once, instead awkwardly staring at you from across the table in an overly noticeable way.
His date was chatting his ear off enough that she didn’t even seem to notice his intense glare in your direction but yours surely did, shuffling in place nervously as he failed to understand the situation.
She was grabbing his arm and giggling obnoxiously every time she managed to get a small response from him even though they were few and far between.
“You’re liking the city so far?” Your date, maybe Zach something, was tilting his head to try and get your attention back on him and not the way her nails were curling around Eddies forearm.
“Yeah I…” You trailed off and cleared your throat, glancing at him and giving an apologetic smile. “I actually need to use the restroom. I’ll be right back.”
You were pushing away from the table before he could manage out a reply, taking fast steps to the dimly lit hallway and pressing your back against the wall as you took a few slow breaths.
It wasn’t too surprising to hear the footsteps following right behind yours, the soft touch wrapping around your wrist as his frame moved in front of yours.
Eddie didn’t look at all like his usual goofy self, face far too serious for somebody as completely the opposite. You sighed in light relief when you felt him touching you and that only made him do it more, arm going around the small of your back and his forehead pressing against yours.
It was quiet for nearly a minute as you just stood there, your palms on his chest and the muffled sounds of a poem about grief coming from down the hallway.
“I can’t do this.” His voice was so quiet that you barely caught it but it still made you frown.
“Why not Eddie? She’s nice and she seems to like you.” It was hard to get out but you were trying your best to be supportive of him.
“Are you kidding me?” His eyebrows furrowed and he took a step back just enough so he could really see your face as you spoke. “I don’t care if she’s nice. I don’t want her.”
The word he chose to emphasize wasn’t lost on you and for the first real time, you let yourself think this might be about you. It was always in the back of your mind but that insecurity and fear of losing him kept it quiet, not wanting to let yourself feel any hope incase the disappointment that followed was too crushing.
“Ed.” You sigh softly and rub your hand from his chest to his shoulder.
He leaned down to bury his face in your neck and you fully wrapped your arms around the back of his so you could hug him tightly.
“I can’t watch this anymore.” He said eventually and that nearly confirmed it for you but you were stuck with that fear.
You couldn’t bear losing him, not while you were still surrounded by the city around you that he stemmed from. It would be a constant painful reminder of the good thing you had lost and you were in desperate need of this good thing.
Eddie was one of the best friends you’d ever had and you would happily, although torturously, never be anything more if it meant he stayed with you.
That fear was even more obvious to you when he was picking his head back up to really look at you, your noses rubbing together in a familiar way but with an unfamiliar tension hanging over your heads.
You could see the moment he decided to risk it all and your entire body locked up.
“Don’t Eddie.” You stopped him just as he was staring to shift his face closer to yours and his expression dropped.
He didn’t move away right away but you could see the way it stung him. You frowned with guilt and brought your hand up to cup his jaw, grateful when he nuzzled into it without any hesitation.
He may be hurt by your premature rejection but he still craved your touch and that made you feel much better.
“It’s okay.” You shift forward to kiss his cheek as you hold his face. His eyes are closed blissfully and his hands tighten around you at the contact. “Let’s go tell them bye.”
It was awkward to go back out there together and tell them bye as a pair, your dates sending you and each other confused looks while Sarah gave you a long disappointed stare.
You knew she didn’t mind the idea of you and Eddie together, in fact she encouraged it actively in the beginning, but she also was aware of your hesitance and she knew you well enough to know nothing had happened in that hallway. You were still choosing to waste the chance to spend a night getting to know a nice guy, just to go home with Eddie and stay in the same limbo.
You gave Zach a light hug goodbye but Eddie didn’t even bother with a parting wave to his date.
You waited until you got on the train back towards his apartment to bring it up, both of you standing on opposite sides of a pole.
“She was sweet.” You said softly and his eyebrows furrowed again for what felt like the dozenth time that night. “You could have been nicer.”
He winced and his shoulders slumped at your gentle scolding, looking a little guilty. Eddie wasn’t at all a rude guy, even when he got a little too rowdy to remember his manners. He was notably friendly and a good time so it was out of character for him to treat somebody so coldly.
“She was nice.” He agreed casually and now you took a long pause.
“She wanted to bang you.”
His face scrunched up at the idea of it as you both swayed with the sudden lurching of the train car departing.
“Yeah, no way.” He was shaking his head in disagreement and you eyed the way his curls had gotten a little bouncier after a long night. “She was flirting, yeah but.. I don’t know.”
“Why not?” You asked it with a tilt of your head like you were genuinely curious despite the fact you figured you knew his answer by now. He leaned back against the wall of the train car and crossed his arms, giving you a slightly disbelieving look. “How long’s it been since you hooked up with somebody?”
It wasn’t something you talked about even though you seemed to talk about everything else. You knew Eddie had a past of casual flings with a lot of girls, you’d heard it from Sarah after her first few times around Alex.
But you never actually saw the playboy antics yourself. He was at the college for a whole year before you even got there and either he had given up on the life style coincidentally as he became a sophomore or there was a secondary reason.
He looked just as thrown off by your question as you felt asking it although a little amused by the boldness.
“A while.” He admitted easily but he rubbed the back of his neck like he was nervous, face just pink enough for you to tell he’s affected. “I don’t know exactly but maybe a year?”
Your eyes must widen because he lets out an embarrassed laugh that sounds nothing like himself, like he’d rather be the first to laugh than to wait for you to inevitably do it.
“Yeah I just… haven’t been into it lately.” His eyes land hard on yours and you can’t really find it in yourself to say anything in response, especially since you’re more than certain he’s lying with the weak explanation.
You lean against the pole and watch him carefully, suddenly very glad you had left the bar when you did.
“What about you?”
Your mouth parts a little in surprise, not at all expecting him to turn the question around on you. You haven’t to really think about it which he doesn’t seem to enjoy, frowning just enough for it to be noticeable as he shifts in place.
“A few months I guess.” You say softly with a light shrug, just a little bit shy with the answer.
You hope he doesn’t ask you to specify because you really don’t know how to explain to him that you’d been so pent up one night from the way he touched you that you had no choice but to go and seek other forms of release. It was somebody you didn’t even remember the name of which was evidence enough towards how good it had been, not at all satisfying that craving he’d built up and actually just making it much worse.
You’d heard stories about Eddie from random girls around campus, their faces flushing with embarrassment when they noticed you listening or passing by like you had some sort of claim over him.
You were curious about it both because you liked him so much and because you were his friend and wanted to know what exactly he did that made girls get so hung up on their time together in the bedroom.
He hadn’t replied since you spoke, staring a bit blankly.
“What’s on your mind?” Your head cocked.
He shifted at the sound of your voice and moved back towards you, hand wrapping around the pole you’d been leaning on. It was just above your head so you were slightly caged in by his arm, eyes turning upwards to blink at him.
“Have you… wanted anyone since?” His voice had gotten a little lower and you took a second to glance around the train car and ensure nobody was paying too much attention to two college kids flirting awkwardly.
You stared at him through your lashes for a few seconds before your hand was rubbing over his ribs, smiling a little. “Maybe.”
He sucked in a breath at the touch despite how often he felt it and you watched as his eyes very obviously dropped down to your lips.
The train car picked the perfect moment to rock violently and you made a small surprised sound as it nearly threw you sideways, too distracted by him to remember to brace yourself.
Eddie barely faltered, more than used to the abrupt stops. He easily slid his hands around your waist to steady you and you gave him a quick thankful smile before you were realizing you’d reached your stop and grabbing into his wrist to pull him out onto the platform before you managed to get the both of you lost again.
“Didn’t think you’d catch it this time.” He smiled softly at you as you walked and you rolled your eyes despite being overly fond of his habit to never give you directions.
“You’re not that distracting.” You teased back but you’re more than aware of how obvious that lie is.
He certainly is distracting you in the following weeks as you get closer to summer and the heat begins to rise and rise.
To only make matters worse, the AC goes out in the boys apartment and Sarah’s dad sets out a strict ‘no boy’ rule when he catches Alex sneaking out one morning.
You heavily consider just ditching all three of them in favor of your college funded air conditioned dorm that you’d barely used since moving to the city but you feel a little too guilty and you figured you’d miss Eddie far too much while sulking away next to your dorm mate writing her boyfriend obsessive love letters.
So you join them in their suffering, all lounging around the furniture in various states of undress as you try your best to catch anything that resembles a breeze.
It’s bad enough to be literally hot, sweat coating your forehead and making your hair stick uncomfortably wet to the back of your neck, but to also be a little warm under your skin from Eddie and his lack of a shirt was a new type of torture.
Alex was on the smaller side, body lean and just muscular enough to show some definition and you imagined he was the more stereotypical choice for the college girls surrounding you.
You however, felt naturally drawn to the way Eddie was built. He was so noticeably strong, defined arms and a round chest with enough hair on it to really make you start to sweat, and that was without taking in for account the slight softness of his stomach.
You’d been spending the entire day trying not to look at the trail of hair leading down into his gym shorts, staring up at the ceiling fan as it did its best to cool you off.
Sarah was practically stripped down to her birthday suit, using a bikini top to keep some modesty despite the boy short underwear she had below it doing the opposite. Alex wasn’t much better, giving up on real clothes completely in favor of some oddly tight boxers.
You weren’t exactly shy about your body but you were overly aware of Eddie being in the room so you stuck with a small tank top and some sleep shorts, trying your best not to abandon another layer like the others.
Eddie hadn’t moved in nearly half an hour, eyes closed and lying flat on his back like he was picturing himself floating down a lazy river. You glanced around the room at the other two who were also lounging out with soft heated groans, only the sound of Sarah’s magazine waving back and forth breaking up the silence.
Your hand lightly touched Eddies chest, still close enough to you that your knee was pressed against his arm as you sat with your legs crossed next to him despite the heat screaming at you to separate. It was a little damp under your palm but you figured you weren’t much better.
“Maybe we could go to the beach.”
The words had barely left your lips before Eddie was shooting up off the bed, looking a little dizzy from the sudden movement. “God yes.”
“Careful bubba.” You said softly as you lightly pressed on his skin to get him to lay back down for a second until the wooziness passed.
Sarah had perked up too at the mention of a trip to the beach, most likely already mentally picking out a matching bottom to go with her top. Eddie had taken your hand that was on his chest and pressed a light kiss to each of your knuckles, smiling crookedly at you when you sent him an amused look.
“I’m totally in. Beach day.” He nodded in approval and sat up again at a much slower pace, now face to face with you and rubbing your noses together until you let out a small laugh. “We can use my mom’s van.”
“Your mom’s van is a piece of shit.” Alex supplied from across the room, still refusing to move in the heat even when Sarah sent a sharp swat to his sweaty chest.
It was in fact a piece of shit so it was hard to argue, especially as you stood in front of it.
You weren’t sure how she had managed to keep her lot for as long as she had especially considering the van clearly hadn’t moved in the last few years, coated in dust and making an odd rattling noise when Eddie hopped in and started it up.
He looked too excited for you to rain on his parade and you were still internally trying to impress his mom, talking to her quietly in the kitchen while the boys dug around in Eddies old room for an extra pair of swim trunks that might still fit him after making sure the van started.
“He talks about you a lot. I figured he must be making you up.” She was clearly teasing and she immediately reminded you a lot of her son, down to the shape of the smile she gave you as she poured you all a glass of lemonade.
“All good things?” You mused and you relished in the way she chuckled lightly.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Sarah scoffed from the kitchen table, you’d nearly forgotten she was there at all but the heat and unfamiliar sight of a rundown apartment had made her uncharacteristically quiet. “Eddie couldn’t even think a bad thought about you let alone voice one.”
Her teasing was already bad enough in general but worse in front of his mother, your cheeks turning red just as the boys came stumbling out in clear excitement for the road trip.
It was a bit of a chaotic start, all holding onto the prayer that the van would even make it to the first gas station stop. You felt a bit of relief as it rattled its way out of the city, especially since Eddie had confessed he didn’t have a license and let Alex drive, giving Sarah shotgun after she sent him a sharp glare.
He was pressed against your side in the second row, a little uncomfortably considering the AC was barely sending out a light breeze in your direction but the windows being down on the open road helped cool off your skin just enough for you to relax.
You turned to look at him just to find he was already watching you, your nose brushing his as you both mirrored the other’s bright smile.
“You excited?” You whispered, trying to keep your voice under the song playing from the CD Sarah had dug out from the middle console.
“Yeah.” He said it back just as quietly and you appreciated the imaginary privacy the volume offered. His hand came up to brush your hair behind your ear and then lingered near your jaw.
“I’ve never seen the ocean.” You admitted and you watched his eyes widen in surprise, multiple emotions passing over his face like he had suddenly decided this meant something different than just cooling off in the water. “Not from here, remember?”
Eddie nodded slowly but you could tell he was sinking into thought now, his hand reaching over to squeeze yours with something close to determination.
If his goal was to give you the perfect beach day then he more than succeeded. You couldn’t have had a better time with the three of them, barely getting the van parked before you were running into the water and falling into a pile of waves and splash puddles.
The chill of the ocean and the relief you felt had nothing on how magical it was to be with your favorite people, one in particular who couldn’t stop smiling and laughing as he watched you play around with Sarah and narrowly dodge water attacks from Alex.
Eddie didn’t last long before wrapping his arms around your middle and dragging you under the water with him, completely beaming when you resurfaced and pushed him lightly by his shoulders in mock upset.
It took hours for any of you to get bored and you stayed out there with him even when the other two had their fill and went to shore, opting for getting a tan and catching up on a book.
He didn’t seem to mind when you wanted to calm down, naturally gravitating towards each other as you let the water move your bodies together. You held onto his shoulders with your legs wrapped around his waist, his big hands rubbing over your lower back and keeping you from drifting off.
The sun was setting as you talked in soft voices and let yourselves float in unison.
It was perfect and getting even better as the sun fully set and you retired back to the van, laying some blankets on top of it and feeling the cooling metal under your back as you laid down. You’d almost forgotten how the stars looked outside of the city and away from the light pollution, lost in the sight of them and barely registering Eddie climbing the ladder on the side of the van until he laying down beside you.
You could distantly hear Sarah laughing softly at something Alex had said, growing more and more faint as you realized they were walking back down to the water.
“Think they’ll get married?” You whispered once you felt him settle next to you, his hand reaching between your bodies to grasp yours and let it rest on his chest so he could play with your fingers.
“Without a doubt.” He answered easily, not needing any clarification.
“Maybe we can be their maid of honor and best man.” You mused. “Walk down the aisle together.”
You looked at him after the comment just to see his reaction, to double check if the image of you together in a wedding scenario had any effect on him even if it wasn’t your own. He was always watching you with soft eyes, moonlight highlighting his freckles and the slight redness he’d gotten from the sun.
“You’re always staring at me.” You whisper.
“Can you blame me?” He sounded so sincere that you felt a little embarrassed and it took a lot to not look away from his strong gaze.
“What’s that mean?” You shifted so you were lying more on your side and facing him better, the ocean crashing in the distance offering a welcome break between the silences.
“Means…” He laughed a little at your curiosity and shrugged his shoulders, searching for the right words to use. “You’re so fucking pretty.”
You know you’re flushed now and you have to stare at the stars for a breath just to gather yourself, looking back and wishing you hadn’t considering he has the same expression he did the last time he tried to kiss you.
He’s closer than you realized, noses brushing again in that familiar habit of yours.
“Eddie don’t.” You whisper softly even though it pains you. “Don’t kiss me.”
He freezes immediately and it’s much more extreme of a reaction than last time, embarrassment rushing over his face as he awkwardly shifts away from you on the blanket to give you some space.
“Yeah okay.” He breathes out in agreement but it’s so clearly forced.
“Wait.” You frown and sit up a little so you can see his face still as he moves away. “Please don’t be mad at me.”
His face softened instantly like the idea crushed him and he also sat up, resting on his elbow and bringing his free hand up to cup your face and lightly caress your cheek.
“Hey.” His singular word was so full of affection that you almost fell on your stomach in relief. “I’m not mad at you. I’m never mad at you but especially not for that.”
“I’m just…” You have the sudden need for him to understand that you’re not meaning to reject him, a bit frantic as you finally sit up on your knees and touch his arm. “Nervous okay? I don’t want to mess things up so we just can’t… can’t kiss.”
He was silent for a long time as he stared at you like he was trying to understand, eventually nodding slowly but looking just a little bit frustrated and disappointed. You knew your reasoning didn’t make much sense and you felt a bit sick knowing he might be longing for something you’re not willing to give.
“This is why I wanted you to hook up with that stupid blind date.” You sigh and it’s a little bit of an over exaggeration because you probably would have cried for a month if he did but the meaning is still there. You didn’t want him waiting around for something you might not ever give him.
“I get it.” He says it slowly like you’re a live wire which you figure you probably seem like one right now, rushed speaking pattern unlike your usual calm demeanor. “But I don’t want her.”
“You want me?” You assume openly for the first time.
“God yes.” He doesn’t hesitate to answer, eyes staring into yours with devastating raw honesty.
You’re not sure if actually hearing him confess it makes you feel better or worse but your stomach lights up with interest anyways.
You both fall silent, you because of the admission and him because he’s clearly shocked you didn’t somehow already know that.
His hand is suddenly on your back and then you’re overly aware of how much skin you’re both showing. You lean closer to him when he starts to rub you in small soothing circles and then you let out a deep sigh.
“Can I ask you something?” You whisper and he nods before you even really finish. “You said you hadn’t had sex with anyone in a year. Is that because…”
You trail off but it’s obvious what you’re implying, especially given the conversation you’re having.
Because of you.
Now he’s finally hesitating and it’s a long anxious pause before he’s nodding his head.
You both don’t speak, don’t even breathe, as his hand slowly trails up from your back to your shoulder. You stare closely at his face as he toys with the strap of your bikini that rest against your warm skin, still slightly heated from the sun.
“Are you going to take it off?” You whisper and it’s clearly all the permission he needs, eyes meeting on yours as he notes the soft nod you give him, before he’s letting his fingers push it off your shoulder softly.
He moves to the other one at the same time he fully sits up so you’re both half kneeling in front of each other, slowly pulling the second strap down and lean in to kiss your collarbone as he does so. You suck in a sharp breath and he falters at that, glancing up at you to double check.
“You can take it off.” You say softly immediately, a little breathy. “You’ve been so patient.”
Clearly that patience had worn out because Eddie is quick to reach behind your back and undo the tie holding your top up, eyes locked on your chest when it falls in your lap.
He stares at you for so long you start to squirm uncomfortably and then he’s gently moving the fabric to the side and shifting closer so he can go back to kissing your skin. Your eyes flutter shut and your hands go to his curls, softly running your fingers through them as he kisses up your neck down to your shoulders.
“You can go lower.” You encourage and you feel him lightly tense like the idea is a little too overwhelming for him.
It’s brief though and he follows the light instruction soon after hearing it, his hands moving to cage both of your ribs in his big palms. He just barely grazes the top of your chest with his lips before you can hear a sharp laugh from Sarah down below.
You’re both hit with the sudden realization of where you are and what you’re doing, your eyes wide with panic and he sits up rigidly.
You hear Alex next and that snaps you out of it, scrambling to grab your top and pull it over your shoulders. Eddie is just as eager to get behind you and help you tie it back up, shivers down your spine when his fingertips touch your skin.
“You two okay?” Alex calls from below and you can’t bring yourself to answer, grateful when Eddie gives a murmur of approval before helping you climb down the ladder and get the blankets back in the van.
You stay quiet until you’re back in the van, tucking your face into his neck and groaning softly as the embarrassment fully hits you.
“That was humiliating.” You whisper once you pick your head back up.
“Yeah a little bit.” He agrees with a soft smile and that only makes you let out another disgruntled noise before resting your head on his shoulder.
The car ride back is mostly pleasant if you can block out the thoughts of somebody having seen you topless but you feel a large amount of relief when the city skyline comes into view. Sarah gets dropped back off at her apartment before the boys find street parking near campus for the van, calling Eddies mom on the pay phone down the road to let her know you’d bring it back tomorrow morning.
You linger around the dorms before opting for heading back to their place with them, ignoring the pleased smile on Eddies face when you catch up with him and wrap your hand in his.
Sleepovers aren’t that rare between the two of you so you can tell right away that he’s acting strange.
He’s taking twice as long as usual in the bathroom and hovering around his dresser like he’s looking for something. You’d changed into one of his shirts and a pair of shorts you’d left there before, the air much more chilled now that the sun is set.
You sit on his bed and frown at him as he stalls climbing in with you.
“Eddie.” You call after ten minutes have passed and he freezes, blinking at you. “Are you acting weird because you saw my tits?”
The question lingers in the air for a few seconds before he’s sighing and facing you fully.
“Okay yeah.” He admits with surprising ease and you continue to frown as he finally comes over to sit next to you. “I’m just thinking about it.”
“My tits?” You specify and now he winces at the vulgar phrasing.
“Not necessarily your… you know. Just the situation in general.” He supplies and you can only stare at the side of his face.
It’s awkward for a handful of seconds before you’re standing up to turn off the lights, leaving you in near darkness outside of the orange hued lamp in the corner of his room.
“Come on, let’s try something.” You say softly as you go and lay down on his bed, facing the wall as you rest on your side. “Get behind me.”
You can almost feel his hesitation but he doesn’t eventually, the position coming naturally to you both as he curves his body around yours. It feels more intimate than normal considering the conversation you were just having but you still reach back to grab his hands and bring them to the front of your chest.
You just hold them for a moment before you’re taking a deep breath and lightly pressing them against the fabric of your tank top.
He tensed behind you and sucked in air sharply through his teeth but it didn’t take him long to relax and follow the instinct to lightly apply some pressure.
“I-it feels good when you squeeze.” You whisper softly, face warming up instantly at how vulgar it sounded. “So don’t be shy.”
That was all he really needed to hear before he started to really touch you, big hands cupping your breast repeatedly as you both laid there and took shaky breaths. You were making soft whimpering sounds which really didn’t help the temperature as it started to climb against.
“Mm feels good Eddie. Is this okay?” You whisper.
“God yes.” He breathed out before pressing a few light kisses to your shoulders, his hands starting to get a little rougher now as he groped your chest eagerly.
“Should we take it off?” You nearly whine.
“Is that what you want?” He asks softly and keeps kissing your skin, moving onto your neck and lingering there as he waits for your reply. You nod immediately and he doesn’t waste any type before shifting your body and pulling the shirt you borrowed over your head, tossing it carelessly onto the floor.
He was back to touching you instantly and you both made a strangled sound at the skin on skin contact, his hands getting rough again as he pulled your breast apart before squeezing them together. His thumbs kept brushing your nipples in a way that made you start to pant and he shifted behind you.
“Fuck I feel you getting hard.” You gasped and he made a nearly growl like sound, pressing his forehead to your shoulder.
His hips moved forward at the words on instinct before he was tensing and moving backwards like he was trying to avoid touching you like that.
“N-no I want you to feel good too. You can rub it against me.” You encouraged and it was mostly selfish, wanting to feel it so bad you could barely think.
He hesitated for a second before he was rocking his hips forward and going back to roughly groping your chest, his breath getting quicker in your ear as low grunts left his mouth.
You felt like you were on fire, stomach twisting in a coil of need as you tried to arch your back and rub yourself back with him as he moved almost feverishly.
The mixture of the two sensations was overstimulating in the best way possible.
“Say something. I love your voice.” You begged and you could barely recognize yourself and the high pitched tone you’d taken on in your pleasure.
“You’re so pretty.” He was quick to murmur it out, kissing your shoulder slowly again. “Fuck I’ve wanted this for so long.”
His hands were going back and forth between squeezing, lightly tugging at your nipples, and getting a bit more bold when he’d rest them on your neck.
You could really feel him now, your tiny shorts riding up so much there was barely any fabric to mute the sensation of him rubbing against you. He was hot and heavy, clearly large in size even if he wasn’t fully hard yet which you figured he was judging by the way he was almost whimpering into your neck.
“It’s so fucking good.” You gasped out and he full out growled now as he picked up the pace, bed rocking. “Oh god yes, keep humping me.”
Eddies movements were beyond frantic, moving a hand down to roughly grip your hips and keep you still so he could really grind himself against you. He swore under his breath and sat up abruptly, ignoring your whine so he could roll you over into your back and get on top of you.
You gasped and spread your legs for him instantly when you registered what he wanted, nodding his head and whimpering loudly when he rocked his hips against you from the new position.
Now you could feel his length right where you needed it most, your core so sensitive already just from the lewd way he was touching your body like it belonged to him. You loved the deep grunts he was making in your ear, foul words under his breath like he couldn’t contain them anymore.
You made a strangled sound and clung to him, arm around the back of his neck as he kept you pinned down with a strong hand on your stomach.
“Harder.” You whined impatiently.
“Fuck baby I’ll cum.” He groaned, shaking his head and kissing your neck so sloppily you got dizzy with the desire to have his mouth on yours.
He still listened to your request and started to really fuck against you, both of you panting and completely lost in the sensations as you chased the high of finally getting to feel eachother like this.
It was like you got thrown off the top of the mountain when you heard the familiar voice right outside the door, both of you stiffening as you tried to make out the words Alex was saying.
He sounded slightly panicked and definitely guilty but he was trying to tell you something about Sarah being in trouble with her dad and desperately needing a ride, asking Eddie if he could please take his moms van to go and get her.
Eddie sighed and flopped down ontop of you, waiting a long few seconds before he shouted out his approval. You listened to Alex walk away but you both already felt the side effects of being interrupted when you were potentially making a mistake.
You kissed the side of his face and he took the sweet cue, rolling off of you and tugging you against your chest while you tried to control your breathing.
“We can’t do anything with them around.” You whisper softly and you only realized after it left your mouth that it sounded like you intended to keep this up. “It’s too risky.”
He didn’t reply for a bit and you figured he had noticed the same thing, only confirmed when he softly hummed in agreement and rubbed your arm supportively.
That turned out to be a nearly impossible rule considering your friends were always around. Sarah had practically moved into the apartment after the disagreement with her dad and you couldn’t exactly give your opinion because it wasn’t necessarily your place either but the small space was getting a little too cramped.
You spent more time at the dorm just to get a little privacy but you missed Eddie too much to keep away for long.
Alex had currently turned the entire place into a full fledged party, no doubt welcoming a dozen noise complaints from the neighbors. You’d needed a break over an hour ago and you just now managed to get yourself away from the crowd, climbing out the window to settle up on the fire escape.
You were never surprised by how easily Eddie found you when you were disappeared so you barely blinked an eye when he was following behind you only a few minutes later.
He had a cigarette dangling from his mouth but he was quick to discard it as soon as he saw you looking.
“Hi.” You said softly once he was sat next to you, resting your head on his shoulder.
“Hi baby.” He whispered back, taking a sip from his nearly empty beer can before gazing out at the city with you.
“Can’t believe you grew up here.” You said in a bit of a daze, truly content to have him by your side like this while you admired the view you’d dreamt of for so long. “Does it get any less beautiful when you see it everyday?”
He was quiet for a bit so you dragged your eyes off the buildings to look at him, meeting his stare and smiling softly.
“Gets prettier every time I see it.” He whispered and you knew right away he wasn’t talking about the city, his gaze darting all over your face like he was committing it to memory.
You had to look away because you were suddenly feeling very emotional over the entire setting, resting your head back on his shoulder so you could avoid seeing his face again.
Eddie warmed you under your skin and it terrified you.
“I’m really going to miss it when summer comes.” Your voice is quiet and he tenses a little bit like he’d forgotten what looms around the corner.
You’d considered staying in the city during the months you didn’t have school, maybe asking Sarah to let you permanently room with her and even debating if you and Eddie were going to be at a place where you could just stay with him without it being weird.
You didn’t think you were, in fact you had decided that it would be almost catastrophic for the two of you to be around each other every single day, sleeping in the same bed and sharing a space like you were something much more than you were.
And you missed your home town underneath the awe of the big city, thinking about it often as you laid in bed and wished for a break from the constant noise pollution and busyness.
“You could stay.” Eddie whispered like he knew what you were thinking and he shifted so you had no choice but to look at him again, your knees touching and his eyes on your face while yours stayed downcast.
“Are you going to be here for me when I come back?” You tried to lighten the topic by ignoring his suggestion, not wanting to outwardly say that wasn’t an option to you.
“Of course I will be.” He answered earnestly despite your attempt at a joke, shifting and rubbing your noses together while his hands moved to squeeze yours. “I’ll pick you up the second you get here.”
“Not going to run off with any city girls?” Your tone was still teasing but you really hoped he would answer this one genuinely.
You were already depriving Eddie and even though it was his decision to not do anything with anybody else, you still felt guilty about your hesitance. Especially knowing you’d be far away and he wouldn’t even get the small relief of feeling you touch him, getting to have you close to him still.
It made you feel sick to think about him with somebody else, somebody more permanent with their feet caught in the concrete streets you couldn’t seem to get used to.
“Just you.” He says back and rubs your knuckles softly, bringing it up to kiss your wrist lightly.
You stare at him for a few long seconds with overwhelming fondness.
“Maybe you could come with me.” You whisper and he freezes.
“Seriously?”
“I don’t know if you’d like it. It’s a really small town and super outdoorsy.” You start to ramble to try and make yourself feel less embarrassed for the offer. It’s clearly not casual at all to try and bring him back to your hometown for the summer, surrounded by your entire family and the friends you grew up with. “I’d just… I would really miss you.”
He blinks at you like he doesn’t believe what you’re saying but the small smile on his face slightly eases your anxiety. He starts to slowly nod in agreement so you squeeze his hands and shift closer.
“You’d have to meet my parents.” You remind him before he can confirm, wanting him to understand the stakes of coming along instead of just impulsively accepting because he’s desperate to be around you. “And my siblings and be stuck in the middle of nowhere.”
“I’d be with you.” He cuts you off and presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth that almost makes you frown, a little overwhelmed by how much you like him.
You keep waiting for him to do something you dislike, to give you a reaction or even a quick glance that lets you believe he’s not this perfect guy. He’s never angry or judgmental, he’s friendly and calm when it’s expected but knows how to have a good time otherwise and you can never stop laughing when you’re around him.
You think of the way Sarah constantly seems to be laughing with Alex, less sharp and intense when they’re together. She loses the bite behind her teasing remarks like he steadies her internally.
It was on your mind now as you took the trip back home for the first time since you left it all those months ago, a nervous bounce of your knee that’s immediately soothed by the familiar hand rubbing over it gently.
Eddie gives you a soft smile when you glance over at him appreciatively and you return it.
You didn’t need to discuss the logic behind him coming with you because you both knew it was happening as soon as you mentioned it. Neither one of you wanted to be without the other for that long of a time and it soothed any insecurity of worry about what he’d be doing in the city while you were gone, although you were certain beneath the mean voice in your head that he would be on his best behavior.
He didn’t owe you any loyalty but he had offered it so consistently that you felt comfortable expecting it.
The three months you spent together in your hometown felt just as magical as that day on the beach had.
Eddie fit in perfectly and despite introducing him as your friend to everybody, you could see the knowing looks being sent your way and you didn’t bother correcting them.
It was a whole new experience to get to see him outside of the city he was born in, the furthest he’d ever been from it both in terms of distance and lifestyle. He’d wake you up in the morning with a soft whisper that he was going fishing with your cousin, come home around dinner time with dirt on his pants and a proud, nearly boyish smile.
You felt a jolt of happiness as you stood side by side with your mom in the kitchen and helped her prepare dinner, your dad talking to Eddie the next room over as they flipped through your childhood photo books.
He came in at one point to give you a soft kiss on the cheek and ask if you needed any help from him before he ran to town for some household items, telling him you were okay and then trying to ignore the fond look your mom was giving you.
It was a new side of your connection, getting to almost roleplay a domestic small town life as you navigated the warm days and his constant presence.
You kept up with your search for something you could dislike about him, expecting it to show itself now that you were together almost all of the time, but you realized pretty quickly that it was pointless.
You’d watch him interact with the older women at the farmers market politely, call Alex weekly from your home phone and update him on the more rural things he’d been learning with genuine interest, and play with your younger siblings endlessly until the sun went down.
It was pretty clear by the end of summer that you were in love with him.
There was still that frustrating limbo you’d put both of you in but you didn’t know how to break out of it yet. You had wished he would just disrespect your old boundaries and make the first move but he was too good of a guy for that, backing up whenever his hands would wander a little too intensely.
He kept them mostly off of you around your family other than a hand around your waist or brief greeting kiss to your cheek but you felt the heat that still lingered when you’d be back in your room each night.
Your parents thankfully hadn’t set any rules about the two of you sharing a bed even though you almost would have preferred that to the torture of having him that close but somehow still so far.
He’d let himself be a bit more bold then, his palms that had gotten rougher over the weeks of outdoor activities would run over your bare stomach as he pushed your shirt up higher.
You’d both stay quiet in the room any time anything happened like you were afraid to speak and scare the other, memories of that night after the beach where he’d touch you constantly on rotation.
His hands wouldn’t go past your ribs and you’d try to ignore the disappoint each time he kissed the back of your neck and settled into sleep instead of going further.
It was a rough adjustment to go back to the city but you missed it all the same, especially your friends who greeted you both eagerly at the bus stop once you arrived.
Sarah had made a cute sign with your names combined on it, shaking it and jumping up and down when she saw you coming with your luggage.
She’d demanded that you spend the night with her so you could catch up and you locked eyes with Eddie as she dragged you away, feeling the ache deep in your stomach as you separated for the first time in months.
“You guys didn’t even kiss?” She looked appalled at the revelation, pulling back the brush she’d been using to apply a face mask to your skin. She’d told you that the country air had made you look dry and ignored you when you said you lived in the suburbs. “Are you joking?”
“I don’t know okay?” You groaned and went to hide in your hands before remembering the sticky substance all over your skin and throwing them down into your lap instead.
She gave you that familiar judging look, perfectly tweezed eyebrow raising as she gave you a once over.
“You need to make a move.” She determined by the end of it and you sighed in defeat. “I’m serious.”
“I don’t know if he’ll want it still.” You shake your head and now she scoffs in disbelief.
“Are you stupid?” Her voice is biting but you’ve known her long enough to know it’s from a place of support. “You’re hot, he’s horny and obsessed with you. Obviously he’s going to want it.”
You thought about it non stop after that conversation because you weirdly were able to believe her when she said it like that.
All four of you went out the next night for drinks, celebrating the end of a summer apart and the start of the next school year together.
It was ridiculous how much you had missed Eddie after only a day and a half apart, sliding comfortably against his side as soon as you and Sarah got into the bar. He seemed just as eager to see you, kissing the side of your head a handful of times and bringing both arms around your waist so you couldn’t go anywhere.
“Missed you so much.” He was saying it softly but it was loud enough for your friends to hear, groaning immediately while he flipped them the bird.
“How’d you two only get worse?” Alex teased but you were in too good of a mood to be annoyed, especially since he wasn’t necessarily wrong.
For the first time in a long time, you drank as much as they did. Typically you stayed sober and collected while they had their fun and you were quickly realizing how terrible of an idea it was to be drunk around Eddie.
You were ten times more wanting of his touch, constantly clinging to him and getting uncharacteristically pouty when he would leave to go to the bathroom or get another drink. He didn’t seem to notice how extra affectionate you were being due to his own tipsy state, easily giving you the attention you needed like it was second nature.
You both went to the bar together at one point and it was clear to you right away that it was risky to be without the buffer of your friends.
Your hands were sliding over his ribs and you could barely make out anything he was saying to the bartender, thankfully not the pretty one from all those months ago.
He finished ordering and turned to give you his full attention, your chest pressed together as he lightly kissed your temple.
“You know..” You were speaking before you even realized you were and his eyes locked on yours, a little less glossy than your own but still dazed. “I was thinking about that night in your apartment. The one after the beach.”
It had been months now but you both knew exactly what you were referring to, the unforgettable memory of his hands getting rougher on you and your whiny voice begging him to keep going before you were interrupted.
His eyes were darkening a little at the topic and you kept absentmindedly rubbing him, up his chest and then back down.
“Yeah?” He offered back and you were nodding in confirmation, gaze more hooded when he let out a shaky breath and slid his hands onto your lower back so he could tug you closer.
“It felt so good, didn’t it?” You whispered and he was quick to mumble out an agreement that you didn’t quite hear.
You pulled your lip between your bottom tip with slight nerves, the most you could still feel with this much alcohol running through you and offering up an abundance of liquid courage. He leaned down just enough to press a kiss to the corner of your mouth and your hands tighten where they’d been resting on his biceps.
The bartender was clearing his throat behind you and sliding your finished drinks closer to where you stood but you both ignored him, a small pout forming on your face as you rocked on your tiptoes to hide in Eddies neck for a second.
“You know I want you right?” You mumbled against his warm skin, thinking back on Sarah’s advice.
He tensed a little but held you closer, full on hugging you now as you rested against his shoulder.
“I want you too.” His voice was always so genuine when he was confessing something to you, a little innocent like he just desperately wanted you to know how much he liked you.
The bar area was getting a little too crowded and you felt a tinge of anxiety, sighing and pulling away from him to grab two of the four drinks.
“Let’s go back.” You encouraged and he hesitated before grabbing the remaining glasses and following you back to the booth you’d moved to almost two hours ago.
He set the drinks down before he was sliding into his spot and stretching his arm out like he expected you to sit next to him. You hesitated for a long few seconds, getting an eyebrow raised from Sarah that you took as encouragement.
You scooted along the wood until you were right beside him and then lifted yourself up and onto his lap, sitting sideways on his thigh and holding onto his shoulder so you didn’t sway backwards.
His eyes widened just enough for it to be noticeable but he was easily wrapping his arm around your middle to support you.
“Sorry. Just want to be close to you.” You explained to him and he looked a little choked up, nodding but not saying anything for a while.
You frowned as they all fell back into conversation even though Eddie was mostly just listening to the other two talk amongst themselves, his thumb pushing down the fabric of your jeans just enough to rub your hip.
Ten minutes passed before you were growing impatient again, taking a long sip of your drink before turning your body more and leaning down towards his ear.
“I want to talk more about that night.” You whispered and then pulled back to hold his gaze, his eyes curious and maybe a little bit confused.
Now it was his turn to lean towards you, lips brushing your ear enough to make a shiver run over you. “I think about it all the time.”
“Yeah?” You were desperately latching onto this information. “What about?”
“Just everything about you. The way you looked and the way you sounded when I touched you.” His eyes were leaving your face in favor of going up and down your frame repeatedly.
You shifted on his lap just to get more comfortable as you turned more to face him but his breath hitched, pausing the way he was rubbing your hip to instead hold it tightly and keep you still.
“I loved when you touched me.” You whisper next and he reaches up with his free hand to cup your jaw, tilting your face a little more in his direction so he can rub his nose against yours in that endearing habit of his. “Your hands felt so good.”
It was quiet for a few seconds and you moved in his lap again, not necessarily meaning to but still drunk and wanting so desperately to soothe that ache that was slowly building between your legs the more you spoke and thought back to that night.
“You got so worked up.” Your voice was getting a little whinier now and his breath was speeding up at the sound of it. “Probably would’ve came in your pants if we didn’t get interrupted.”
He nearly growled at that and you smiled, happy he was starting to crack a little bit the more you went on. Eddie was clearly doing his best to keep being respectful but you could tell how much he wanted to kiss you and speed things up.
You kept shifting and rubbing your thighs together and he swore under his breath, eyes going down to your lap. He snaked a hand between your thighs just to grip tightly and try to keep you from moving.
“Sorry.” Your pout was exaggerated. “Not trying to get you riled up.”
“Uh huh.” He kissed his teeth and sent you a playful glare, clearly not believing you considering the way you were acting.
“I wish I wore a skirt tonight.” You added and he let out a sigh at the idea, starting to rub your denim covered thighs instead of just holding them.
You were painfully wanting as he touched you, rubbing your nose along his jaw and closing your eyes to fully enjoy the way he was feeling you up under the table. It probably was overly obvious what you were doing but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care about the others around you.
He helped you move so you were straddling him instead of sitting sideways, an instinctive move you both did without thinking.
His hands kept rubbing you, this time moving up and down your back with one of his palms going under your shirt to feel the bare skin.
Now it was impossible to not shift your hips a little bit on top of him, whining softly and burying your face in his neck.
“I-I’m needy.” You confessed in a near gasp and he groaned.
“I know baby.” His voice was lower than you’d ever heard it and that only spurred you on, closing your eyes and kissing the warm skin you were hiding against as you started to really gently rock ontop of him. It just looked like two drunk people feverishly making out, or at least you hoped so.
You were getting more and more worked up the longer you sat there together, his big hands moving to your hips to help you keep moving.
“Is this okay?” His voice was shaky and you were quick to kiss his jaw lightly in encouragement.
He adjusted himself on the seat, sliding a bit lower to give you a tiny amount of privacy and keep you slightly more covered by the table top. The movement just pressed you closer against him and you tried to muffle your needy whine in his shirt collar.
“Touch me.” You were firm in the request and he didn’t hesitate once he heard the tone you’d taken on.
You sighed in relief when you felt his hands leave your back and hips in favor of grabbing your ass through your jeans, back instinctively arching to give him better access. He massaged it softly just like he’d done with your chest all those months back, tugging you back and forth in his lap to keep building that friction.
“Fuck you’re getting so…” You picked your head up to look down at where you were connected, seeing the clear evidence of his arousal and locking eyes with him so he could tell how much the was driving you crazy.
His face was flushed like he was embarrassed and you noticed how overwhelmed he looked, slowing down and feeling a little guilty for your boldness before you felt him grunt at the lack of movement and furrow his eyebrows.
You hesitated for a few seconds to try and figure out what he wanted and then decided you were sick of guessing.
“You want to rub it against me?” You asked softly, leaning back in to kiss below his ear.
“Yeah.” He said immediately and squeezed your back pockets again. “Fuck yeah.”
He started to slowly tilt his hips up to move against your soft rocks, trying your best to not be so obvious while also feverishly chasing after that feeling.
It felt so good to finally get him like this, under you and just as wanting as you were. You couldn’t even contain yourself long enough to get to his apartment or even the bathroom, you needed him right now.
He was clearly getting overwhelmed again because his hips would jolt up against you like he couldn’t control it, soft apologies leaving his mouth when you’d gasp or jump at the sudden movements.
Knowing he was just as needy as you was only making you burn hotter.
“Fuck I wanna make you cum.” He almost whimpered it out and that was nearly too much for you, speeding up and letting your lips brush against his for a second before hiding back in his neck as you started to whine louder.
The friction was perfect, building up to the point you could barely even think about anything other than making him feel good with you.
“Hump me more.” You whined, not sure it was even audible considering how hard you were pressing your mouth against his shoulder to keep yourself quiet.
His hands moved from your ass to the back of your thighs to keep you moving even as you got a little too desperate to function, the way you were bouncing growing sloppier now that he was pressing up against you at the same time.
It was getting to be almost too much, your entire body tingling with the need to get off.
You could vaguely hear Alex awkwardly announcing they were going to get a drink from the bar, forgetting they were even there and silently hoping they’d get the hint and not come back for a while.
Everybody else around you was either too drunk or too tired to care about some horny college kids in the corner booth.
“Feel good baby?” He was speaking in a voice you’d never heard from him and that only made you speed up.
“Yes Eddie yes.” You whimpered
One of his hands moved to tangle in your hair, forming a fist in the locks and making you gasp at the light pain that spread across your scalp. You expected him to immediately release it once he heard that noise but he was clearly too buzzed or too caught in the feeling to remember how gentle he normally was with you.
You couldn’t complain, not with the way pleasure instantly followed the stinging sensation.
“Keep going.” You encouraged with soft pants, kissing alongside his neck. “I’m dripping.”
That seemed to really drive him crazy, like the idea that he was making you feel good was better than anything else.
His hand slid up under your shirt, rubbing your back and playing with the clasp of your bra like he was heavily debating taking it off. You’d started to sober up from the drinks but you were beyond drunk on him.
“Uh guys.”
You both froze but you didn’t dare look behind you at Alex’s awkward cough, burying yourself in Eddies neck and hoping he could just teleport you home instead of having to deal with this conversation.
His chest was lifting and falling heavily below you and making your frame move in the process. You knew him well enough to know his face was bright red, only confirmed when you finally slid off his lap and glanced at him with mild embarrassment.
“Yeah. Just friends.” Sarah quipped and you sent her a glare as she smiled and winked at you, clearly internally proud you’d taken her advice and made a move on him.
“Sarah.” Eddie's voice was still low and hoarse, another shiver running over you at how affected he sounded. “We’re just… tipsy.”
It was a weak excuse and a few months ago it would have hurt your feelings but you knew how much he wanted you, drunk or sober. He was clearly just trying to ease the tension and make you feel better about your desperate actions, a soothing hand landing on your thigh.
“We should go.” He said next and this time it was specifically directed at you, facing you finally and squeezing your leg to try to encourage you to agree.
“Yeah.” You were quick to nod and scoot out of the booth, grabbing his hand once he was standing beside you.
You both lingered by the table like you were trying to think of an excuse to give your friends that didn’t make it so obvious.
“Oh my god please just leave already.” Sarah groaned and pressed her forehead against the wood for a brief second to really showcase her exhaustion. “Don’t talk to us until you’ve fucked each other.”
Your face burned again at the comment and Eddie opened his mouth like he was going to try and defend you, stopped short when you tugged his arm and started to move towards the exit.
You walked in silence for most of the way, the night air thankfully cooling off how heated your body still felt especially since you could feel him staring at the side of your face.
Eventually you slowed to a stop under a flickering street lamp, avoiding his concerned eyes when he stopped beside you.
“I’m really sorry about that.” You said softly with clear humiliation. “I don’t know what got into me.”
“Stop it.” He said immediately and he cupped your face, tilting it back so you had to stare up at him. “It’s okay, I get it. We both were drunk and we really like each other.”
You smiled softly at that, how convinced he sounded.
“Yeah? You really like me?” You whispered back and you were half thinking he was going to tease you back about your own feelings.
Instead, he was surging forward to finally kiss you.
It was desperate and full of all the pent up emotions you’d kept for the entire time you’d known each other, all the times you’d nearly connected like this but not quite gotten there.
His mouth moved against yours urgently like he thought he didn’t have much time before you were telling him to stop like you always did so you made sure to eagerly lick into his mouth to make sure he knew just how much you wanted this too.
The heat from the bar came back with a vengeance, one of his hands instinctively going down to grab your ass tightly and tug you closer to him before it was resting on your lower back.
His tongue was rubbing against yours, coating your chin with saliva from how sloppy and needy it was on both ends.
You liked Eddie beyond words but right now you didn’t have time for the big romantic confessions, not making love and taking your time with each other. You figured you could do that for the rest of your lives but right now you needed him to fuck you.
You told him as much between kisses and his eyes darkened, tugging you into one more deep makeout before he was whistling down a cab and nearly pushing you into the back of it.
You kissed like that the entire ride back to his apartment, barely making it out of the doors in your refusal to let go of each other.
Thankfully it seemed like Alex and Sarah had no plans to come home tonight because you barely got inside before your clothes were coming off, falling back on the couch and gasping when he was landing ontop of you.
Your hands were all over him as you undressed, running over his stomach and chest while he eagerly groped at your nipples again and finally took them in his mouth like he’d been so close to doing those months ago.
It was euphoric, feeling him rub against you for only a few minutes before he was getting too impatient and pulling your panties down your legs.
The way you’d been humping each other at the bar was enough to ensure you both were ready to go, your legs easily parting for him so he could line himself up and push deep inside of you.
It felt like more than just sex, it felt like a connection that you’d been waiting for all this time. You felt whole with him like this, filling you up so nicely and giving you that perfect stretch you’d been dreaming of.
You wanted to take a second to really appreciate him, get on your knees and worship his cock so he knew just how much you loved him and the way he was always so gentle with you. But you decided to wait until after he fucked you stupid, his hips already struggling not to move the second he bottomed out.
“Fuck me, fuck me.” You gasped in a pant as you tried to get him to move, soaking up the low grunts he was letting out in your ear as he pressed his forehead to your shoulder and tried his best to not hurt you. “Please Eddie, I want it so bad.”
“Are you sure baby?” His voice was still that cute nervous tone you liked so much, kissing your cheek so gently despite the heat of the situation. You were quick to nod your head and try to adjust yourself to feel him more and he swore lightly. “Fuck okay yeah. I love you so much sweetheart, tell me if it’s too much.”
You wanted to focus on his words and let him know how much you loved him too but you couldn’t pay attention to his sudden confession once he started to really move.
He was fucking you with shocking roughness considering how sweet of a boy he was but you couldn’t have been happier, needing that pace after the year of dancing around each other.
It was perfect, just like every other day you got to experience with him before that and every single one after.
You didn’t forget to make sure he knew just how loved he was by you afterwards when you were holding each other in his bed, soft kisses on his freckled skin as he flushed over your words.
You told him it constantly in the morning after, whispering it when you cooked breakfast together and writing it in each other’s notebooks while you studied in the library.
There was no shortage of love in you for the city you’d dreamed of or the boy that had grown up with it.
Summary⋆.𐙚 ̊<The one where you and Neteyam grew up impossibly close to eachother, but as you reach adulthood you drift apart that is until things go horribly, terribly wrong. And neteyam has to draw you back to where you belong.>
Warnings⋆.𐙚 ̊<size difference, choking, dom/sub, rough, gaslight, manipulation, stalking, oral fem!receiving, squirting, sir kink,fingering, degradation, fear kink, corruption>
Neteyam did not remember a time when she did not exist.
His earliest memories were not of bows or blood or the weight of a spear in his hands—they were of a small, soft presence always just behind him, fingers clutching the woven band at his wrist as she tried to keep up with his longer strides.
She was always there.
Their families kelku stood close together, the shells angled along the trees. The Sullys’ home and hers were joined by a long lasting respect, love and trust from Neytiri's bestfriend. A trust that had been passed down into her daughter and through Neytiri's eldest son-Neteyam.
Every morning, without fail, Neteyam and Jake would make their way over to the neighbouring hut and knock three times.
Jake’s voice followed, deep and warm as usual.
“Can we steal our doll today?”
And every time, her parents laughed.
She would peek out first, with her big eyes, soft smile, and her hair never quite tied back right.
Jake had called her doll from the moment she could walk. Not because she was fragile—though she was—but because she had that comfort about her.
The same comfort that little girls put into their toys.
That was found in her.
Neytiri loved her as her own. She was the closest thing to a neice that she had-though not by blood, she would do anything to protect her bestfriend's daughter and they would do anything to protect her children. She braided her hair with reverence, painted her markings with gentle hands, scolded the boys if they played too roughly around her.
And Neteyam—
Neteyam watched.
Always watched.
They played at the waterfall together even then. Lo’ak splashed farther out than he should have, whooping when the cascading water knocked him sideways, convinced he was invincible even then, erupting laughter out of all the kids as he scoffed in embarrassment. Kiri drifted along the water, pausing often to watch the leaves shuffle on the trees.
Spider lingered nearby, pretending he wasn’t paying attention, skipping stones and glancing up every few seconds just to make sure everyone was still there.
She stayed closer to Neteyam.
It was better that way, if she stayed near him he wouldn't go complaining to his parents that she went to far into the water, Lo'ak wouldn't get overly excited and accidentally hurt her, kiri wouldn't try to teach her to hold her breath for a whole minute resulting in a near drowning situation.
She was happy this way, she laughed when the water lapped at her calves as a result of Lo’ak’s franctic splashing, reaching for his hand when a fish surprised her, and he let her hold on without comment. Sometimes she tugged him toward the rocks to show him water flowers she liked. Sometimes she followed him without thinking, matching her steps to his like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Neteyam slowed for her without her ever realising it.
Lo’ak teased her, endlessly. He poked at her reactions, stole her things, laughed when she would pout and go stomping to Jake and Neytiri.
But he would throw punches for her without thinking.
Kiri adored her softness for it reminded her of the way of Eywa and she often dragged her into meadows to talk about Eywa and spirits.
Spider treated her like she was made of glass. Always offering her things, and always watching Neteyam carefully when he stood too close to make sure he didn't trigger a reaction.
Smart boy.
She was not like the other Na’vi girls. They climbed higher, ran faster, laughed louder. They were edged and fearless, born knowing Pandora would either make you strong or swallow you whole.
She was soft.
Her laughter was quiet. She asked too many questions and trusted the answers too easily.
Pandora loved to eat girls like her.
Neteyam learned that early.
So he taught her fear.
Not in a brutal way.
Just enough to keep her safe.
He would crouch beside her even when they would still young to warn her about the consequences of not listening.
“You must never wander too far” he would say. “There are things waiting for something like you.”
Her eyes would widen. She would nod fast and grip his arm in fear when he would purposefully step on a branch-pretending that it came from the bushes.
When they grew older, when his training intensified and his body hardened, so did his mind. He became mature and brave. He became even more of a protector than he was before. She stayed the same. Taller, yes. Older. But still gentle and soft spoken.
He became Olo’eyktan-in-waiting. A future leader. A mighty warrior. His future was layed out on a silver platter infront of him.
By the time he was twenty-two and she was eighteen, the world had shifted.
Pandora no longer felt infinite in the way it had when he was a boy because he had seen the horrors of this world.
Twenty-five.
That was the age etched into him long before he was even born.
That was the age that the heir of the Olo’eyktan would take his place if he is ready and deemed worthy.
He accepted it, and he embraced it. And along with that came the change. He rarely laughed anymore for happiness is weakness. He rarely spoke for the more you reveal the more liabilities you make.
And with all of that came a mate.
The clan chose his future mate with absolutely no concern for how he felt about it.
Which was odd considering the fact that everything else was chosen for him.
She was strong, had a sharp-tongue, and was independent- she was built to rule beside someone like him.
On paper, she was perfect.
In reality, she made his jaw tighten every time she spoke like she commanded everything, every time she pushed instead of balanced. Neteyam was dominant by nature, and having someone that relentless at his side didn’t feel powerful—it felt violent.
But the level of submission that he would break her down to-might just strip his title away from him before he even got it.
He knew that the clan didn’t need two voices clashing for control.
When she turned eighteen, the shift was immediate, and honestly unbearable.
She didn’t change who she was—she just grew into herself, and that was the problem. Her body softened and filled out in ways that caught the eye whether Neteyam wanted it to or not, curves settling where there had once been angles, her breasts filling out in a way that was so rare for Na'vi women-but she was never like the other women. She still laughed softly, still trusted too quickly, still felt like Pandora. The Pandora that he once knew.
The magic, the wonder it all flowed back when she was here.
So he pulled away. Because he now had an arranged mate. And he could no longer push how he felt towards her down.
He stopped walking her home, stopped sitting beside her during gatherings, stopped offering quiet guidance or watchful presence, and started choosing distance instead.
She noticed, obviously.
But she didn’t confront him.
She too accepted the distance with that same quiet grace she accepted everything with, even though confusion sat behind her eyes-she accepted it.
Neteyam told himself this was discipline, that this was what leadership demanded, that protecting her sometimes meant removing himself from her world entirely—but distance didn’t stop him from watching.
He still tracked her movements through the village without thinking about it, noting when she left, who she walked with, how long she was gone, and whether she came back with the same relaxed posture she left with. He followed her into the forest whenever his duties allowed, staying far enough back that she never sensed him, but close enough that nothing else ever got the chance to.
Most nights, he slept outside her kelku, close enough to hear her breathing through the woven walls. When a predator wandered too close once, drawn by movement or scent, it never made it past the treeline, and she never even knew there had been a threat to begin with.
Pandora was no longer magical to him. But you'd be damned to think he wouldn't let it keep being magical to her.
He made sure of that.
When he noticed even a single drop of loneliness or sadness from her. He sent one of his most trusted female warriors into her life under the excuse of friendship, reporting everything she said back to him.
It was better this way. Neteyam was sure of that, until...the reports came back.
She told herself she understood.
That was the easiest lie to live with. Of course he didn’t have time anymore to wander through the forest with her and his siblings to wander around.
Of course he didn’t.
She told herself that growth meant distance, that this was natural, that this was what happened when people stepped into their futures while others stayed where they were.
She told herself that it didn’t hurt because it wasn’t personal, because Neteyam had never once been cruel to her.
So she accepted it.
She smiled even when she saw him and he looked past her. She stepped aside when he entered a space like she had learned to do instinctively, making room for the weight of who he was becoming.
She assumed he was just busy.
That belief lasted right up until the day it didn’t.
The announcement came without warning infront of the whole clan in celebration.
Neteyam and Laïloui were to be mated, and everyone around her reacted the way they were supposed to—with approval, pride, excitement.
She felt nothing like that.
What she felt didn’t have a name, because she had never felt it before, not once in her entire life.
She had known joy, warmth, safety, and curiosity, but this was different. This was nothing like any of those.
That was when everything changed.
It was when she realised that he wasn't busy. And it wasn't an excuse.
Without Neteyam’s presence hovering quietly at her side, without the unspoken understanding that she belonged with the Sully's.
The village stopped making room for her. Conversations closed when she approached. Laughter softened, then stopped.
She was too soft.
Too quiet.
Too unnecessary.
The friend groups she had always drifted within shut her out. She was left out of gatherings. Not given anything to eat during shared meals.
And she took it.
Because she always did.
She woke up every morning with a heavy strain in her chest, and she went to sleep with the same pressure still there, curling around her heart.
She too stopped laughing.
She too stopped talking.
For she had no one to make her laugh. And she had no one to talk to.
Her chosen family had moved on without her.
Neytiri was always busy now, tending to Laïloui with the same care she had once given her. Jake spent his days training Neteyam. Lo’ak chased his brother’s footsteps, desperate to prove himself, while Kiri wandered deeper into Eywa’s pull, searching for her purpose.
And she was still there.
She didn’t blame them. That was the worst part. She understood why they were busy, why their lives were full, why there wasn’t room for her softness anymore in a world that demanded strength.
She remained gentle.
Remained kind.
Remained alone.
By the time the morning came, she had already come to the realisation that she was no welcome here.
So she moved carefully and gathered her things.
She didn’t look toward the Sullys’ home once she stepped outside.
She couldn’t.
If she did, she knew she’d hesitate, and hesitation had never saved her before.
Her father’s absence still lingered like a wound that never closed properly, his death still too recent, and her sweet mother lay sick at the loss of her mate.
She had watched Eywa take pieces of her life one by one, she had started to believe that maybe she was cursed.
It would only be a matter of time before her mother was taken too.
And then what?
She would be alone anyway.
She slipped into the forest just as the sky began to lighten, the familiar paths already feeling foreign beneath her feet.
She had been something people loved when it was convenient, when it was easy, when she asked for nothing—but the moment she needed a connection, protection, belonging, she had been quietly set aside.
She didn’t realize how long she’d been walking until the forest began to change.
The forest grew denser as the daylight faded. And for the first time since she’d left, she felt something other than grief take hold.
Fear.
By the time night fell, it wrapped around her completely.
The forest after dark was nothing like the place she’d known her whole life, nothing like the gentle paths she’d walked with Neteyam and the others when laughter came easily and danger felt theoretical.
She slowed, then stopped entirely, her breath shallow, and her ears straining as the memory hit her all at once.
Never go into the forest at night pumtsyìp
Neteyam’s voice lived in her head like it always had. His voice getting deeper everytime he said it to her as he had over his many years.
And now she was alone.
Truly alone.
She wanted him here- not the future Olo’eyktan, not the warrior everyone admired, not the man who had learned to look past her like she didn’t exist anymore, but the boy who used to slow his steps so she could keep up, the one who had taught her fear so she would survive, the one who had always been there when the forest felt too big.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Neteyam raises from his prowling spot in the bushes, the second he felt the air get colder, his large frame quietly straightening out as his large hand grabbing her by the back of her neck.
“What did I say.” Neteyam murmurs, his voice low and gravelly as he draws it out from his chest.
She gasps, her breath stuttering violently as recognition slams into her, and when he eases his hand away just enough for her to breathe, and she immediately twists around to look at him.
“Neteyam” She gasped, her eyes widening in shock.
His gaze flicks over her, taking in the few scrapes on her, the dirt streaking her calves, and his jaw tightens in a way she recognizes immediately.
He straightens slowly, his presence filling the space between them until she feels small without him even trying.
“Where were you going” he asks, his tone calm but she knew better based on the way it rumbled out of him.
Her mouth opens, then closes again once she notices the air around them starting to get foggy.
“Mawey” he says quietly.
“I just thought—I thought no one would noti—” She blurts out in a whisper. Cutting herself off when shame came crashing down hard enough to make her stomach twist, and she swallows thickly before whispering, “How did you even find me?”
“I didn’t,” he says simply.
Before she can ask what he means a thick fog rolls in between the trees, lit from within by drifting specks of blue and gold.
It looked-magical. Like the Pandora they once new causing her questions to die in her mouth as she looks at the fog in awe, her fingers slightly reaching up to touch it.
His hand comes back instantly, firmly closing around her wrist. “…don’t,” he says quietly.
She blinks at him. “Don’t what?”
She looks down.
Faint red marks are surfacing on her skin where the mist touched her, barely-there at first, like thin luminous veins or glowing fingerprints, spreading in delicate branching lines over her forearm, her collarbone, the side of her neck.
They’re… almost pretty.
And then the sensation hits like having a little candle stick held against you, burning off your skin layer by layer.
His tongue comes out to lick his lips once he sees her expression shift from awe to panic and fear.
He lifts his own arm into the light.
The same markings are blooming across him, and unlike her. He doesn’t even look surprised. Or scared.
“What is this,” she whispers. “What is on me.” Her voice rising with every word as she trives to rabbidly scratch it off of her.
“Fog spores,” he says. “They react to motion.”
She tugs her arm out of his grasp, turning to make a move to run away, hoping the fog won't catch up to her.
“Hey.” His grip returning to her wrist. He steps closer, his face lit softly from below, his dark eyes locked onto her face. “Look at me. If you run-you'll be dead in 10 seconds.”
Her breathing immediately goes wrong.
Too quick. Too shallow.
“I can feel it,” she says, panic finally cracking through, her free hand twitching before he catches it too, anchoring both of hers in one large hand of his. “I feel like my skin is melting off! I don’t like this, Neteyam, I don’t like this—” she sobs, her eyes filling with tears.
“I know.” Softer. “I know. But you'll be okay.”
She shakes her head. “You don’t look okay.”
The markings there are already concentrated, the faint glow pulsing under his skin.
Her eyes burn with panic as tears start to flow out of them. “Why aren’t you freaking out.”
Because he knew.
“Because,” he says after a beat, “I know where the cure is.
“…cure?”
"We won't get there in time."
"Wh-we have to try"
"We?" He echos, his head slightly tilting to the side, making her eyebrows furrow. "I thought you wanted to be alone. So you can go find it alone."
"I-I don't even know what it looks like"
"You don't. I do."
His hand leaves hers for half a second, dipping into the pocket at loincloth. When it comes back out, he’s holding a small vial with a yellow liquid inside.
“I always carry it when I come to this part of he forest.”
“You...saw me heading towards here,” she says.
“Oh but pumtsyìp- you don't need any help right?,” he says mockingly as he cooes at her. “You’re a big girl now-you don't need me to help you anymore, isn't that so?”
You might be scared, but he needs you to remember why that even after all these months. Why you will always need him to be here with you.
Her stomach twists as her eyes fill with horror, as she fights every single bone in her to snot scratch at the marks or try to rip her skin off.
"No-no I was wrong! I hate being alone I don't know the forest like you do" She sobs, tears flowing freely down her face. "I should've never left- I should've never ignored what you said-please don't let me die out here- please I'm sorry!" Her voice breaking with every word.
“please fix it, please help me-I'll die without you" she shouts through her broken cries, finally giving in and rapidly scratching her arms.
Neteyan let out a sigh of satisfaction, lifting the vial and unsealing it, gently grabbing her hand to peel it away from her skin.
“Mawey, pumtsyìp. Your Teyam is here, here aren’t I?”
The liquid hisses faintly when he tips it over your arm, tending to your skin before his own. The markings fading as quickly as they formed-the fog rolling past the two of you and into another part of the forest.
And only when you are clear of all your marks does he bring the vial to his own skin.
It is so satisfying to him to see your dependancy after so long. It reminds him of when Lo'ak would tease you and you would come crying to him even as a child, and even now. You still come crying to him.
And then he shushed you, as a large arm wrapping around you. Causing you to instantly sob and melt into him, apologising once again.
And Neteyam glows, a weight shifting off of his chest as he realises that you still long for and need his protection after so long.
Maybe if you weren't always so stuck in your pretty little head then you would now that he has been protecting you even though you guys weren't talking-thus why he followed you here. Just like he follows and watches you in many places.
Neteyam lifts you into his arms, the familiar motion calming all your nerves.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Boy, did Neteyam want to corrupt your innocent little head tonight, but he still kept in mind that you didn't understand sexual acts. But that just fueled his desire even more. Though a part of him wonders if you still blindly trust him like you used you-a part of him knew that your curiosity outweighs your fear.
He needed you to find comfort and protection in him again. And though he admits that he fucked up by ignoring you these past few months-he has also come to realise that he has sacrificed everything he is to become Olo'eyktan.
But you-you were the one thing that he would give up his title for.
And he would be damned if you thought otherwise, so tonight he would make it up to you.
He wanted you to have something that would constantly remind you that you need him. Wether it's his seed growing inside of you, a leaking little pussy so full of him cum that it drips out of you pretty little hole, or his scent marked on you.
He would get it through your pretty little head that you have always and will always need him.
Now that he has brought you to his kelku (house), he moves your body to his preference, making you straddle him.
The dominance of his action causing a blush to run across your cheeks as you nibble on your lips, keeping your eyes down to pick at your hands.
“I thought you were smarter than that.” You didn't even flinch when he slid his thumb across your wet bottom lip, then moving it to cup the side of your neck before crawling it up into the roots of your hair, anchoring itself there as he pulled most of your hair back in a single grip.
He pulled back enough to look into your face. Your beauty making his whole existence ache.
He pressed his lips to your forehead, his hands moving down to roam your back.
He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your cheek. Then another on your temple. Then one at the corner of your eye. Kissing your face like every inch of it had been sculpted just for his lips to worship.
"I-I am smart Teyam" you whispered, your face leaning into his touch.
"Then you would know that a pretty little thing like you should never be in the forest without me"
“So many bad, bad men waiting to take you away.” he gravelled out, tugging her hair at the scalp, pulling a whiper out of her.
“Away from me” His low voice vibrates through you.
And just as you lean in, his grip on your hair tightens, keeping you in place.
“You wouldn't want that to ever happen” he ensures, “for you to be taken away from me” He continues, rolling his long tongue out to lick up the side of your face, tasting your dried tears with satisfaction.
“Isn’t that right?”
“Yes.” You answered, with the smallest whisper and like bleeding infront of a shark, the intoxicating scent between your thighs reaches his nose once more.
He purrs.
His lips hovered near her ear, licking it, his breath scalding against her skin.
"You didn’t think I had truly abandoned you, did you?"
She let out a small exhale as she tilts her head down, remembering how betrayed and confused she felt.
"You...left me"
"I never left you pumtsyìp. I was with you every day. They gave me a mate before I could chose the one I wanted. I was waiting for the right time but I'm done waiting now."
"...I wish you and Laïloui all the best" she whispers as she lifts her leg to get off of him, only to have him grip her thigh and plant it back down.
"Laïloui is not the one I want."
"But-"
"Laïloui is no longer here"
Her eyebrows furrowed as she took in his words.
"I needed time to get rid of her, Mawey. That is the only reason I stopped talking to you"
"Rid of her?" She draws out slowly trying to understand what he means by that.
Neteyam tilts his head to the side in satisfaction at the memory of him shoving Laïloui off the cliff right before binding their kuru. It was a wonderful plan really-the Sully family would break their attachment to you so that Laïloui wouldn't retaliate. To keep her in an illusion that they cared for her. To make her trust them. And to draw her attention away from the one that they truly do care about-you. The clan had already chosen Laïloui before Neteyam had gotten the chance to ask you to be his mate-he had been planning it since he was 18 but Jake ensured him that it was best to wait until he was older and the title of Olo'eyktan was in arms reach. So as a result of guilt for ruining his son's lifelong plan. The sullys joined together to help craft this plan. And thus resulting in Laïloui's "disappearance". And with Neteyam’s assertance of dominance by going against the clan's orders and mating with you-that would be the final act of preparation and he would at last be given the title of Olo'eyktan.
He just needed Laïloui out of his way for good. And he needed you to not be seen as a threat in the meantime to keep you safe.
"Don’t worry your little head about that pumtsyìp."
"You should go be with your chosen then Net-"
"I already am."
She barely processed his words before his teeth grazed her earlobe, biting down on it before bringing it into his mouth to suckle on.
“You don’t get to decide my future for me.”
That did it.
Neteyam went still.
And Eywa knows that was worse than anything he could've said.
His grip tightened in her hair, tugging at it to force her face up to meet his eyes. He leaned back just enough to look at her properly, his golden eyes darkening, as his jaw tightened.
“Say that again,” he said quietly.
She hesitated. “Netey—”
“I said,” he cut in, his voice growing impossibly deeper, “say it again.”
Her heart thudded painfully. “You don’t get to decide my future.” She replied meekly, casting her eyes down as shyness crept over her body.
A slow breath through his nose.
Then a low, humorless laugh.
“Decide?” he echoed. “No, pumtsyìp. I don't need to decide anything. I just need to remind you.”
He leaned in, foreheads touching, voice dropping into her mind like poison wrapped in honey.
“Who was there when you were alone.”
“Who taught you how to walk these forests, how to hunt, how to climb trees, how to swim.”
“Who made sure no one touched you, no one claimed you, no one took what was always meant to be mine.”
Her lips parted. “You don’t know wh—”
“I know everything,” he snapped, suddenly fierce, eyes blazing. “I know every man who looked at you too long. Every whisper behind your back. Every risk that vanished before it ever reached you.”
Her pulse spiked. “But you ignored me.”
His hand slid up, fingers curling under her chin—not forcing, just guiding until she had no choice but to meet his gaze.
“Yes,” he admitted without shame. “I had to Mawey. But not for one second did I want to. I had chosen you long ago...but I just wanted to be worthy enough for you to chose me too...I was waiting for my title. But the clan chose before I could. And I had to let Laïloui think I chose her to keep you safe. Because the moment the she realized how much I wanted you—how much I need you—I would have gotten rid of her in public.”
His voice lowered, as he cradled her small face in his large palm.
“And now I’m Olo’eyktan,” he said. “No one can tell me no.”
Her breath hitched. “You’re scaring me.”
Good.
His lips curved into a smirk as he squeezed her cheeks together.
"I need you to help me get my title Mawey. I need a mate. And I will not chose one that is not you. The future of our clan rests in your hands."
“I said you’re scaring me net-"
“You’re scared because no matter how much you fight it,” he whispered, “you were never going to be anyone else’s.”
Elaila let out a soft, involuntary sound, her fingers clutching at the fabric of his robe as his mouth found her ear again.
"Such pretty sounds."
His hands explored further, mapping every curve of her body as he tilted her head back with a firm tug to her hair, exposing the fragile line of her throat.
"You'll chose me right?" he murmured, leaving open-mouthed kisses to her throat, the sloppy sounds of the action filling the chamber as he smacked his lips against the skin there before letting his spit drool down her neck just to slurp it up again. "For the sake of your Olo'eyktan."
She barely had time to catch her breath before his teeth sank into her skin to place a claiming bite.
She gasped, her fingers digging into his chest, but he didn’t relent. His tongue flicked over the mark, soothing, then biting again, harder.
"You taste divine," he rasped against her throat.
"May you please move your knife," she replies as she wiggles slightly in her attempt to sit straighter. The movement presses her body further against me
"Fuck" he whisper under his breath. "Not a knife,"
"Oh? Then what is it?"
"Keep squirming and you'll find out"
The hand on her face tilted her head slightly, guiding her gaze to his.
When his lips finally met hers, it was soft at first, but that quickly changed as each kiss became deeper and wetter.
His lips moved against hers with a desperate hunger as a low, growl of satisfaction rumbled in his throat.
When his tongue brushed against the seam of her lips, she parted for him, and he took it as an invitation, his tongue slipping past to lick up her very essence, as his tongue moved against hers in deliberate strokes, coaxing her to meet him, to match his intensity.
The sound of their kiss filled his kelku, soft and wet, mingling with the faint hitch of her breath and the steady growl that vibrated in his chest. Saliva slicked their lips, adding a slight sheen to the movements, their mouths sliding together with a fervor that bordered on desperation.
He tilted his head to deepen the angle, his teeth grazing her lower lip before sucking it gently, a flick of his tongue soothing the sting. His hand shifted, fingers tangling in her hair, pulling just enough to expose her to him fully. The kiss grew sloppier, more urgent, as though he couldn't get enough, couldn't pull her close enough to satisfy the ache inside him.
Her hands pressed lightly against his chest, a feeble attempt to put space between them, but he only responded by tightening his grip. His fingers tangled deeper in her hair, tilting her head back as his lips chased hers, refusing to let her go.
"More," he murmured, his voice rough, breathless, lips brushing against hers as he spoke. "More."
He pleaded as his hand slid to her waist, fingers pressing into her skin as he pulled her flush against him, swallowing the shaky breath she let out.
When they finally pulled apart, threads of saliva connected their lips, breaking only when he leaned back to look at her, his eyes dark with unrestrained desire. Her lips were swollen, glistening, and he stared at them as though already planning the next kiss.
"I'm scared...and confused" she admitted, her soft voice contrasting against his deep one as she kept her eyes strained to the floor.
His other hand came up, rough fingertips tracing along her soft jaw before tilting her face up to his.
"I know Pumtsyìp...I know" he answered lowly as his large hands that layed on her waist gently swayed her side to side.
"Open for me," he growled against her lips as he dived back into the kiss.
Neteyam pressed himself against her wetness with no pretense of restraint. The hard, unmistakable evidence of his arousal grinding against her core.
“Do you feel that?” he snarled against her lips. “This is what you do to me"
Suddenly, he placed her on the wall next to him and dropped to his knees, but he didn’t just do that, he yanked her thighs apart with brutal force, making her momentarily stumble back to grab the wall.
He pulled her hips forward until she was perched right on the edge of his mouth, her back arching instinctively to keep balance.
The sight of him there, his broad, muscular shoulders between her trembling legs made her breath hitch.
Without hesitation, he bent forward, his mouth descending on the sensitive flesh of her inner thigh. His lips latched onto her soft skin, his tongue dragging over the delicate curve before his teeth sank in just enough to leave a mark. The sharp sting made her gasp, her fingers clutching at his shoulders, but he didn’t relent. His mouth moved upward, leaving a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses, saliva smearing her skin as he worked his way closer to her center.
"What are you doin-?" She gasped as she tried to gently push him away by his shoulder, which obviously failed...
Once he finally reached there, he bared his teeth and clutched it onto her loincloth, and slowly dragged it down. He took a deep breath as he took in the sight of her wet, dripping pussy, all pure and ready for him to claim.
He latched onto her, his tongue pushed between her folds as he dragged it through her arousal, his face burying into her, making her cry out and gasp. The wet slurp of his mouth filled the air as he devoured her, sucking and licking without restraint. His nose pressed against her, his jaw moving with relentless fervor as his saliva mixed with her arousal, dripping down his face and onto his hands, which were still gripping her thighs like a vice.
"Y-ou can't do that, that's dirty!" She squeeled in potest, only to have his tongue circled her clit in response, alternating between flicking it in quick, teasing strokes and pressing flat, broad strokes that left her trembling. He groaned against her, before shaking his face against her wetness making her hand instinctively shoot out to grip his hair as she took a step back, trying to move away from his overwhelming touches, his jaw was slick with her as he pulled back a string of her juices connected his mouth to her core.
“Stay still,” he growled, pulling back
His hands shifted, sliding down to grab her hips and yank her even closer to his face, making her yelp and grab onto his jaw for balance. One hand slid lower, gripping her ass roughly as the other shoved her leg over his huge shoulder, locking her in place. The angle left her completely open to him, and he took advantage, his tongue plunging into her with a ferocity that made her moans bounce off of the walls.
Neteyam growled in satisfaction "Atta girl", the vibration sending sparks of pleasure through her. His lips wrapped around her sensitive bundle of nerves, his teeth grazing it lightly before his tongue swept over it in fast, messy circles. He sucked hard, his mouth wet and sloppy as he alternated between rough suction and flicking his tongue in maddeningly erratic patterns. Saliva coated her, smeared across her thighs and dripping down to the stone floor as he growled against her.
“Neteyam" she gasped, her hands tangling in his hair, trying to push him away when the pleasure became too much. But he was relentless, snarling against her as he grabbed her wrists and pinned them to her sides with a single hand.
He pulled her closer, pressing his face against her harder, his tongue diving deep as his nose pressed against her swollen bud. The wet, sloppy sounds of his mouth echoed in the kelku, louder with every desperate flick of his tongue and every rough suck of his lips. His free hand slipped lower, two fingers thrusting into her without warning, making her yelp out and whimper as he stretcher her as he worked them in time with his mouth.
“Look at me,” he demanded, his voice low and commanding as he pulled back just enough to catch his breath, his lips slick and swollen. “Look at me while I make you mine.”
Her big, innocent doe eyes locked with his cold, stoic glare, and the sight sent a shiver down her spine. His eyes were feral, dark and wild with possession, his jaw and braids glistening with her arousal.
"I-I'm going to pee get off"
She gasped as she tried to close her legs.
But Neteyam dragged his tongue darted out to lick his lips, as he held her gaze.
"No you're not."
Then he was on her again, his mouth rougher, sloppier, hungrier than before making her throw her head back in ecstasy as she grinded her hips, sensually rubbing her core against his mouth in desperation.
Not long after, the coil in her belly snapped, her release crashing through her with violent intensity as her cries filled the air. Her legs shook, her body arching, her fingers tugging roughly at his hair as waves of pleasure overwhelmed her, but Neteyam didn’t stop. If anything, her climax only spurred him on, his tongue and fingers working her mercilessly as he coaxed another release from her overstimulated body.
Her second orgasm ripped through her, her thighs clamping around his head, trying to stop him from continuing as she screamed his name. He growled, prying her legs apart with a brutal force, and he didn’t stop until her knees buckled and she was gasping for breath, her body utterly spent and slick with sweat.
When he finally pulled back, his chest was heaving, his lips and jaw a glistening mess. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, before licking off the essence that trailed on it.
"If you ever try to hide your moans from me again, I'll fuck you by the fire where everyone will hear how good I make you feel,” he growled into her ear.
