One must imagine diluc ragnvindr as the main character in a dating sim game who has about twelve other people with crushes on him. The list goes as follows:
- His childhood friend he kissed once when he was 16 who he hasn't seen in ten years (Thoma)
- His ex-wife who he has complicated feelings towards (Jean)
- The girl from that flower shop who is obsessed with him (Donna)
- An old chinese man who keeps quoting ancient texts at him and saying he knew the guy who wrote it (probably a god) (Zhongli)
- The first one's boss who keeps flirting with him and suggesting they enter a polyamorous marriage in really unsubtle ways (Ayato)
- A gambler lady who thinks he's really good at killing people and keeps sexually (???) choking/strangling enemies they fight (Yelan)
- Some gang leader from Japan with big tits who keeps trying to beetle fight him and is endearingly stupid (Itto)
- An architect from Persia who is knee deep in debt and cares very heavily about everything (Kaveh)
- The architect's roommate, also a well-known Arabian scholar who never takes his headphones off and somehow still hears everything Diluc says (Alhaitham)
- A French prison warden who keeps reminding him to take care of himself while he struggles to reign in his own daughter (?? Child who is always with him??? Coworker?? Diluc can't tell) (Wriothesley)
- his doctor (Baizhu)
- That one night stand he had when he was on a killing spree who turned out to be a leading part of the organisation that killed his father and then fucked his brother but is still trying with him too for some fucking reason (Childe)
The harem's and the kids reaction to Crepus being back and making Diluc cry
You guys really like making me work, huh.
But let's just get one thing clear: the Kids know what a good dad looks like because Diluc has given them that. So them seeing how Crepus treated Diluc would kill them. Because of the way Diluc talks about his father, they thought Diluc had learned his loving naturing character from his father, but it was more like Diluc had learned what not to do.
Diona would be literally plotting murder. While Bennett probably trying to get her and Razor under control, Fischl trying to pull Diluc away, and Klee pulls the boss move and cries to her mom.
Which I feel. Alice is final boss material if you hurt her kid's feelings.
Now, for the Harem, we are gonna speed run this because a lot of them are very protective.
Albedo: He's calling Alice again.
Al Haitham: Make Crepus cry with a brutally honest review of Crepu's own parenting or something else he's proud of.
Ayato: Probably takes something exceedingly hurtful that Crepus said and turns it against him. Definitely has people stalking Crepus and making him as uncomfortable as physically possible.
Childe: Diluc probably has to physically hold him from stabby time
Eula: Definitely plots her revenge. A way for Crepus to publicly embarrass himself. Or explode his poor parenting to the public.
Itto: Crepus gets in Ushi to the face.
Kaveh: Probably shouts at Crepus and explains how Diluc is perfect.
Thoma: I'm pretty sure Thoma's disappointment is lethal to anyone
Xiao: Xiao normally doesn't care about mortal but it honestly would be stabby time v2.
Zhongli: Probably see this as Crepus breaking the agreement he forge with Diluc when he brought Diluc into the world so maybe a little wrath of the rock.
If you have been here a minute, you might know that I think Diluc, when he gets drunk, gets really formal. He does a lot of masking normally, and he'd be damn if he ever lets it slip, so he falls into a very formal Mondstadt dialect. But here is the thing while his speech gets more formal, he gets a little more... friendly. He is more willing to chat He is more physically affectionate but, at the same time, more prone to getting upset when he doesn't get his affection.
As he gets more into his drunk night, he gets even more clingy, and really, you just see a lot more of how gentle and sweet Diluc. It is ridiculously adorable. But it's best you not sleep in the same bed because he will cling, and you will not be allowed up until he gets up.
Albedo
So Albedo is probably the responsible one and the one who is really responsible and if we have allergic/intolerant Diluc he always keeps a close watch on Diluc. But you know Diluc does feel a certain obligation to drink at certain parties, and if he knows Albedo there he will definitely try and avoid Albedo to not worry him.
But Albedo is a smart guy so he would totally end up finding Diluc with a glass and instantly know by Diluc's speech what's going on. He'd stick to his side like clue afterward and make sure he gets food and water. He takes all of Diluc's clinginess in stride despite not being used to it. And when Diluc leans on him.
"Isn't that a little uncomfortable?"
"No... you're cool. Imma too warm. You're cool." He just murmurs rubbing his face in Albedo's hair.
"Let's get you somewhere you can relax."
Albedo, of course, let him sober up a bit and make sure he'd all comfortable before making the honorable sacrifice of cuddling in bed for a few days straight. Just to take care of Diluc, of course.
Al Haitham
So this would actually get a chuckle or two out of Al Haitham. A winery owner who gets drunk so quickly. And then the clinginess. Usually, Al Haitham doesn't really like people in his space, but Diluc's honestly like a nice big water bottle. It's not so bad.
He does get a little protective. As he's very aware of how bad people can be, especially when someone kind like Diluc is in such a relaxed state. So as a very good boyfriend, he becomes a little more watchful of over and probably ends up leaving early to take care of Diluc and will not let anyone else Diluc like this.
ABSOLUTELY THIS MAN CALLS IN SICK FOR WORK when diluc refuses to get up and off him. Oooooh nooooo he can't get up.
Kaveh is absolutely pissed that Haitham not only has a beautiful man resting on top of him but that he can skip work because of said, beautiful man.
But at the same time. He can't find fault in it. Which does, in fact. Piss him off more.
Ayato
Now. Ayato. He's a bastard? We clear on that? Ok good. He is someone who would encourage Diluc to drink. Maybe not if he was aware of an allergic/intolerant, but still. He absolutely finds drunk Diluc adorable. And honestly, he wants Diluc to feel comfortable about him. He wants Diluc to just be himself and he gets that when Diluc is drunk.
He likes when Diluc just holds on to him and demands his affection. He likes Diluc just being there. He likes listening to Diluc talk about birds in that funny Mondstadt Accent. But he never pushes it too far because funny enough. Ayato, out of everyone, is probably one of the few most concerned about Diluc's physically healthy. I mean dude lost his family to sickness, so in the back of his head, I'm sure he's always a little worried about illnesses and is the type to take a cold seriously.
Now he is the one of the group who actually still has a responsibility to take care of so staying in bed for a day or more isn't really something he can afford to do. But he would constantly be checking in on Diluc, making sure that he is ok. Probably getting ready to be scolded by Diluc when he does wake up. But Diluc will always get the best care.
Childe
Now Childe is the one who honestly keeps forgetting that Diluc can't drink. And as a Fantasy Russian stereotype, he thinks a little firewater cures a lot of stuff.
So just forgets Diluc can't hold alcohol. And just tends to put it up into things. The next thing Childe knows, Diluc is laughing at stupid jokes he never would, and he's getting really close and touchy. And he's confused for like a full minute but happy until he suddenly remembers. Oh no
OH NO.
So he instantly goes into caretaker mode and tries to sober him up really fast. And while Childe loves Diluc being affectionate like this, he knows Diluc not going to be happy with him when he wakes, do he does his best to damage control and gather up all the affection he can get before he gets put into the dog house.
I do want to say he is better when he and Diluc are at parties, and he will take any drink Diluc feels pressured to have. It's just like the daily little things he forgets about.
Eula
Eula breaks things.
How can I say this? She already thinks Diluc is adorable. Especially in why he doesn't seem to know how to express his affection. She is constantly taken down by how adorable this serious and scary-looking man is.
So Diluc starting to smile more and holds onto her arm. And looking like he's going to cry when she has to go.
Eula just can't handle it. She breaks anything in her hand. Probably punches all at one point. And defiantly gets him home the moment someone gets close to him.
Itto
Ok, so he would totally be clueless. But absolutely happy that Diluc is being so sweet.
It would probably be Kuki that notices something is off. And probably ends up subtly implying to itto that He should take Diluc home and that Diluc might not be feeling well. Which would send itto off in the other direction getting him a little worried and overprotective.
And it would frustrate Diluc because he couldn't just be clingy and get his affection.
"You really should get some rest!"
"No! I just. Itto!"
"It's important you not well!"
"Damnit, Itto! I'm just a little drunk. I ... I just wanna be close for a bit."
"... Oh."
Of course, Itto becomes the biggest cuddles buddy which makes Diluc the happiest.
Kaveh
OK so. Lightweight supremacy. Seriously they both would get drunk so easily. And they would become that overly affectionate together. Absolutely mushy and romancy when they are drunk together. And it be totally disgusting. They would be all over each other.
And I can't help but think that Kaveh's ego would inflate MAJORLY. I mean, heck, he had Diluc Ragnvindr on his arm. I think it would be very hard for anyone to keep their ego under control.
So he's writing notes all over the message boards about how great his Diluc is.
And the next morning, when he's sobered up He probably has to have Al Haitham help him to get Diluc off of him. And it really just breaks Kaveh's heart. But he's gotta work. He would also be pretty worried seeing Diluc sleep so much so. Checking in a lot more and getting Al Haitham to check in or someone.
Thoma
Ah, yes, the male wife. He probably is like Albedo and really does his best to make sure Diluc doesn't drink. But he knows that there is a social situation where there is pressure too. So he always has a place ready for Diluc when he comes home.
Warm tea, blankets and cuddles, and even medicine if he needs it. Definitely is probably one of the few who tries to get Diluc put at a reasonable hour but fails. And then gets trapped by Diluc.
So still a good ending.
Xiao
So Xiao is the king of over protection club. So seeing Diluc inebriated would put that protective instinct into overdrive, and every bad thing that could happen to Diluc would cross his mind, and he would not have any of it.
So he pull Diluc out of that situation. But then
He's stuck with this bubbly and clingy version of his boyfriend. And He's already not great with physical affection, but Diluc gets so sad now when he pulls away. He just really has no clue what to do but accept it. Definitely does take Diluc back to the in and ask for their help. They do recognize that Diluc is drunk and help Xiao with ready food, water, and a bed, but Diluc really just wants to stay with Xiao.
"It's cold. You should go in."
"It's nice, And I wanna stay out with you."
"You're very stubborn when you're like this."
"Sorry."
"No... It's fine."
Zhongli
This is one of the few cases where Zhongli shuts the fuck up and lets Diluc just ramble on and on. As Diluc does get more talky when drunk. So Zhongli is very content to listen to Diluc as he rambles and talks while holding onto Zhongli's arm.
It's so sweet to him, but definitely makes sure Diluc drinks plenty of water.
"Come on dear. I think it is time we got you home?"
