Lavender Haze | Kevin Moon
SUMMARY: being an idol's partner has never been easy to say the least, but your boyfriend Kevin was going to make sure that you've made the right decision to spend the rest of your life with him.
PAIRING: idol!Kevin x f!reader
GENRE: hurt & comfort, fluff, suggestive, established relationship
WARNINGS: nc-17, self-doubt, crying, kissing, making out (it gets a little spicy), petnames (kitten), hickeys
WORD COUNT: 2,518
A/N: happiest birthday to @jinkoh 💛 thank you for being such a good friend and here's to more chaos & late night convos tgt 🫶 and thankiew @blizzardfluffykpop for being my partner in crime for this (yes kate and i planned this all out just for you 🤭) gonna tag @hyungseos-cafe too bcs well, it's kevin 🙂↕️
Your phone was constantly buzzing every minute, and the notification ping was starting to annoy you while you were packing up to get off work. It hasn’t been the best day at the office, but you’ve grown to accept it since it was pretty much the reality of working as a corporate girl.
Though you have to admit that things haven’t been the best for you recently, and you knew that it was starting to take a toll on your mental well-being—to the point it made you question your relationship with your boyfriend.
You knew that going into a relationship with Kevin wouldn’t be easy. Frankly, you hesitated at the beginning when he asked you out and officially proposed if you’d like to work things out as a couple. As much as you loved him and basically grew up together since kindergarten, there was something that somehow terrifies you when it comes to dating a celebrity.
The moment Kevin gave up his university programme to become an idol, you were shocked and slightly disappointed to say the least—being all sulky throughout your 4-year degree programme because your best friend literally ditched you all alone back in university.
But you knew that you should be proud of him, given that he always had a fondness when it came to making music. You knew that spending countless years on the piano and taking up random gigs during the weekends at your local drinking bar had definitely paid off when he got accepted and was offered to start a new chapter back in Seoul.
Those couple of years while he was away were tough, and you could only keep up with one another through texts and calls once every couple of months. Things started to ease a little when he finally debuted and was granted more time and expenses to make a trip back to Canada to visit once in a while, which was when you started to realise that your feelings towards him were more than just friends.
Spending late nights going on a road trip to stargazing at the cabin his uncle owned, it was there where you both would rendezvous whenever you had the chance to escape from reality for a bit. Talking to him about everything became a priority and habit, and little did you both know, your hands began to intertwine whenever you got cozy at the fireplace outside of the cabin.
You certainly did not expect him to confess to you right when you dropped him off at the airport 3 years ago, and he was staying put until you had given him a proper answer—not caring if he was going to miss his flight. It was then that you clearly showed hesitation in your eyes, and Kevin knew that he wasn’t going to force you to do it if you weren’t ready. Still, he gave you the best hug he has ever given you over the past decade and planted a soft kiss on your forehead—caressing your warm cheeks gently as he firmly voiced out that he was expecting good news the moment he touched down in Seoul.
What he did then was enough to keep you up the entire night, tossing and turning in your bed, getting little to no sleep at all. You scrolled through your phone and through all the pictures and messages you exchanged, trying to make sense of whether whatever you felt inside was as simple as he did.
Love.
And just like that, you finally sent him a simple “I’m in” and quickly threw your phone onto your nightstand before you desperately closed your eyes to get at least a wink of sleep. It only took him a few hours to quickly give you a video call to express how happy he was, and he swore that he would make you the happiest girl alive.
And never in your life have you seen him being the happiest he’s ever been.
Just like that, you were convinced that everything would be okay, and you had made the right decision. Doing a long-distance relationship for 2 years was certainly not easy, but you both pulled through and made things work to the best of your abilities. It wasn’t until a year ago that you secured a promotion to work at Korea’s department, and you immediately informed Kevin of the good news.
Your boyfriend wasted no time quickly packing his bags and moving out of his dorm, making his dormmate Jacob a little sad with the sudden decision, but he supported you both nonetheless. Living in central Seoul was slightly overwhelming to you if you were to be completely honest. Still, you knew that Kevin needed it to be able to get to his schedules easily and on time, and it would cut your commute time to work by half—just little things that would make lives easier and give up on the countryside life for now.
With Kevin’s popularity increasing each day, however, it just seems as if a lot more pressure was placed on you as both of your relationships progressed. It wasn’t too much about privacy, but more on how you have been asked countless times when you were finally going to settle down with your boyfriend.
The constant asks and messages about your marriage to keeping up with your celebrity boyfriend’s fame was starting to take a toll on your well-being, making you think that you’re just not enough to be with him.
The self-doubt grew stronger each day, and more messages were constantly coming into your emails, as much as you despised them. You were grateful that Kevin had been away for the past couple of weeks, and you had all the apartment to yourself as you dealt with your feelings. Given that he was busy with his new comeback with his team, the last thing you wanted to do was to give him more trouble and worry about his girlfriend back at home.
You both called and texted each day, but you’ve always made sure to leave out the negative part and only tell him about the good things that happened at work. Though, you tried to avoid video calls since you were certain that he would immediately notice you have been deteriorating the moment his eyes lay upon your exhausted look. Hence, you kept insisting that you had a red eye and didn’t want to hear him nagging, so voice calls are the way to go for now.
Taking those heavy steps as you walked up to your apartment unit, you lazily inserted the key and twisted it to expect the clicking sound as you unlocked the door.
Except for the fact that the door immediately creaked open instead, and there was the familiar figure cooking something up in the kitchen. And at the very same time, you could tell that he noticed your presence as you heard the stove being turned off, and his shadow was now approaching the front door.
Oh no, crap. What do I do what do I do-
“My love! It’s been a while…” Kevin instantly paused when he saw the look on your face. Those undeniably dark undereyes and dishevelled hair were too obvious to pass, and he knew that you had hidden something from him.
You simply sighed before lowering your head down to stare at the doormat. “You came back…”
“Y/N. What happened? Why didn’t you tell me?” Kevin immediately got down to your level to look straight at you in the eyes, which was enough to make you break down and burst into tears right in front of your boyfriend.
This was certainly not something you wanted him to see the moment he got home. In fact, you should’ve been the one who was welcoming him back with the house all cleaned up, a comfy meal that was prepared on the table, and perhaps even a warm, cozy bath-
Before you could even put all the blame on yourself, Kevin instantly pulled you in for a hug—caressing through your silky hair as he rested his lips on you. It was then that you hugged him tighter, taking in the familiar sense of comfort that you’ve simply missed over the past couple of weeks.
And that scent, oh god, how much you’ve missed what he actually smelled like.
Kevin knew, and he wasn’t the type of guy to push you to spit out everything, so he simply got you undressed and cleaned you up, pampering you in the shower. At the same time, he treated you like a baby—jokingly throwing in some rubber duckies to keep you company while you soaked in the warm liquid. That silly little gesture made you chuckle for a bit, and the smile you’ve grown to love was plastered once more on your boyfriend’s face.
He wasted no time helping you put on your favourite keroppi pyjamas before taking you back onto the couch to snuggle while you both catch up with everything while chewing on the comforting ochazuke he cooked up. Putting on a comforting romcom show was the way to go whenever you both wanted a good laugh and to reminisce about your university days, and it never fails to brighten up the mood between you two.
As the final credits came on, Kevin simply pulled you in closer and whispered into your ears. “I hope you’re feeling a lot better now.”
It was then that you remembered that you had had a mental breakdown a few hours ago, and you had avoided telling Kevin about how you truly felt about your relationship for the past couple of weeks. It was simply that good that he made you forget about all the stress and prejudice in life whenever you were with him.
But you knew that you couldn’t run from your problems forever, so you simply positioned yourself in front of him before grabbing his hands and taking in a deep sigh, mustering up all the courage you had to speak to him about your most inner thoughts.
“Kevin…t-there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
Your boyfriend instantly noticed the change in the tone of your voice and knew that this would be a rather deep conversation. In response, he adjusted his position to face you completely, ensuring he was now all ears for everything you had to say.
“What are we?”
Kevin was perplexed by those three simple words. He had no idea what was going on at this point. He expected you to tell him something bad happened at work or how you’ve been feeling under the weather for a while, but certainly not about your relationship.
“Y/N. What are you getting-”
“I-I don’t even know myself- I just feel- like I’m never good enough to keep up with your pace, Kevin. At least not anymore-” You started to sob as you moved your hands up to rub away the tears with your sweater.
“What makes you think that, Y/N? You do remember I promised that I would make you the happiest girl alive-”
“I do, but I don’t know if I’m even worth your time anymore. People keep asking if I was merely someone who would be in your life temporarily, or pressuring me to settle down with you officially. I don’t know- I mean- with you getting all booked and busy, I just don’t think there’s room for me to even be part of your life anymore-”
Before you could even finish all the raging thoughts you’ve had in your head, you were taken aback when you suddenly felt something wet and soft rest upon your lips, and you knew exactly how those familiar lips of your boyfriend felt.
You've memorized every curve of his lips and the way they moved against yours. You never used to believe people when they said some lips were simply meant for each other—but with Kevin, you felt it. He never missed a spot, knowing exactly how to stir butterflies in your stomach with every kiss.
Shutting your eyes as you felt a teardrop fall down your cheeks, you relaxed almost immediately as you slowly felt numb, and your back was gently pushed down onto the couch. Kevin quickly intertwined your fingers and pushed both of your hands to each side, removing any sort of obstacles that could possibly be in the way.
He swallowed your moans with his kiss, and he wasted no time pushing in further to ensure that you were clear on how nothing else matters except for being with him right now. He doesn’t want you to think about any of those, and hell, even doubted yourself in the slightest. As he broke off the kiss, moved down, and brushed your neck, he paused briefly before whispering into your ears.
“You’re my little lavender haze, and you’re bound to stay with me forever.”
Your eyes slowly started to flutter open as the ray of sunshine fell straight onto your face. Rubbing your eyes as you slowly sat up, you realised that you’d been tucked to bed after last night’s events, and your eyes widened as you saw yourself in the mirror right across at the foot of your bed.
There was a pretty obvious red mark situated right on your exposed collarbone, and you slowly moved your fingers up to feel that same exact spot. A tingling sensation ran through your spine as you placed too much pressure on it, and then you realised that there was a little hue of purple on it too.
Wait, does that mean-
Before anything else could’ve happened, you were dragged back down onto the bed, falling straight onto your boyfriend’s arms as he pulled you in for another kiss. He groggily replies a simple good morning before pulling you in for a cuddle, refusing to wake up just yet.
“K-Kevin…” you mumbled.
“Hmm?”
“T-This mark…what have you done last night?”
There was a silent pause right after that, and you had to shake your boyfriend a little to ensure he wasn’t falling back asleep again. But before you could change your tactics and start questioning him more again, he groans as he finally moves to the point he’s on top of you right now.
“Ugh, stop asking so many questions, for god’s sake,” Kevin replied as he looked down at you with a smirk plastered across his face, one that you knew it wasn’t going to end up well and you wished you could’ve taken back everything that you’ve done a minute prior.
“K-Kevin- I-”
He immediately shuts you up with another kiss, hungrily this time, before pulling apart as his fingers roam through your skin and stopping right at the same mark that he had made the night prior—pressing it a little for that pressure to make you whimper just a little bit.
“Seems like you haven’t learnt your lesson yet, little kitten. This time, I’m going to make sure you remember that you’re stuck with me for life, and you’re a thousand years early to think that you can escape my grasp.”
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