thinking abt kili/legolas -> gimli/legolas (fic idea??? who knows) and i made myself sad bc i thought abt what if kili still dies at the end of bofta and it makes legolas take after his dad in that he starts shutting out the world bc surely protecting himself from this kind of pain is worth the loneliness….
and when he joins the fellowship and encounters gimli,, he is automatically hostile towards him bc he can't bear to face Any reminders of the dwarf he's lost… but the way gimli snarks back and doesnt take his shit reminds him of kili, painfully so, and then Moria happens, and gimli is so openly grieving balin and ori and somehow it only feels right to admit to his own loss, to extend condolences by sharing his own grief, and when he finds out that gimli not only knew kili but had been good friends, they grieve together… and they grow closer.
they speak of their loss as they stay in lothlorien, and as they continue on their journey and they grow closer still, to the point where legolas recognizes in himself similar feelings that he'd felt for kili now for gimli, legolas struggles with the guilt of perhaps loving another, and when gimli tries to ask for their relationship to be more than companions, legolas admits to his feelings -- both for gimli, but for that of which he still holds for kili -- and gimli contemplates this, but is accepting.
and legolas cant help but wonder if kili would have approved, and he does think that kili would not have wanted him to deny himself happiness in his memory.
and then he cant help but wonder if kili had not led him here, to becoming this with gimli, for it had been kili himself that had brought them closer in their grief.
idk how id end this tbh,, maybe smth abt beads that kili made that he had given one to gimli in friendship years ago, and one he had made for legolas shortly before dying in botfa and its a set, a pair, a connection despite the tragic loss...
