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꒰ ˀˀ ↷ idols as ; given ”♡ᵎ ꒱
like/reblog | @snghaobin
don’t repost our work or claim it as yours
Colors Chapter Two - Orange
Summary: Your most recent jump has put you into the life of an Idol, but will old feelings get in the way of a new promise?
Pairing: Taehyung x Reader
Genre: Fluff, angst, smut
Word Count: 15.2k
TW: Death, medical/hospital talk, cancer mentions, drinking, cunnilingus, sex
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“Jeongguk!” You cry, bolting upright, gripping the blanket in your lap tightly. You begin sobbing uncontrollably as you realize; it doesn’t matter anymore, wherever you are now, whenever you are, Jeongguk is not here with you.
You sit up and look around, you’re in a hotel room. You see an iphone on the table and a laptop on the desk. Thank god, you must be somewhere close to where you started. You fling the orange blanket off of you and sprint to the desk, wiping your cheeks as you turn on the computer, thankful that it doesn’t have a password. You immediately bring up the search engine and type in the only name you care about at the moment: Jeon Jeongguk, Hawaii. You thank god it isn’t a popular name, because the first result that comes up is the one you’re looking for.
“Local Japanese veteran suspected in the disappearance of his fiancee.”
Disappearance? Oh no… You keep reading.
“After the clearing of prime suspect Paul Smith, police turn their attention to Jungkook Jeon, fiancee of the missing girl.”
You scroll to the next article.
“Fiancee cleared, girl still missing.”
This doesn’t help, you need to find him now. You go to the whitepages website and type in his information: Jeongguk Jeon, Honolulu, Hawaii. Ding! One result. Kahala Nui Nursing Home. Nursing Home? You look at the date in the bottom of your computer screen. 2012. You suppose Jeongguk would be in his nineties now, you’re just thankful he’s still alive.
You immediately look for a wallet anywhere in the vicinity, finding one inside of a purse; inside waiting is a sleek black credit card with your name on it. Literally. You immediately search for a travel website before realizing you should probably figure out where you are first. You open the map on your phone and click the current location to see you seem to be in Daegu. Perfect. You find the first flight out to Honolulu and purchase the ticket, hoping you have enough money on the card to do so. Transaction Complete. You download your boarding pass just as you hear a beep and then the door to your room opens.
“Y/N, are you ready?”
“Actually I’m going to need a ride to the airport.” You state, turning to see a young man standing there.
“What are you talking about?”
“Uh, family emergency. I have to leave for a week.”
“A week?” The man squeaks. “You have three shows this week and the make a wish thing today.”
“Reschedule them.” You insist, standing up and gathering your things, quickly grabbing a change of clothes and starting to undress until you realize the man is still staring at you in disbelief. “Uh, do you mind?”
“You’re kidding right?” You shake your head and he turns to face the wall. “When did you get shy?”
“Since I just got back from the 40’s.” You joke.
“What?”
“Nevermind.” You say as you change your clothes.
“I’m not taking you to the airport. You can’t just dip out like this.”
“Just reschedule things.”
“Reschedule things. Reschedule a whole week? Oh yeah, that’s fine. I’ll just push back your entire tour. Reschedule every interview. That’s fine. I’m just your manager. I’m just trying to do what’s best for you. ‘Reschedule it Jin’. It’s fine.” He shrugs, throwing his hands up in the air. “Now that you’ve tied the rope around my neck, are you going to kick the chair out from under me too?”
“I don’t have time for this.” You roll your eyes, grabbing your suitcase and heading for the door. “Can you check me out of the hotel too since I assume that’s your job?”
“You assume?” He nearly chokes. “I’ve only been your manager for six years, but apparently that doesn’t mean anything to you.”
“Goodbye Jin.”
“Y/N,” He grabs your arm. “You have to do the make a wish thing before you go.”
“Just push it back a-”
“He might not have a week.”
You sigh. “Three days. Just give me three days and I promise I’ll be back.”
“Where are you going?”
“Hawaii.”
He scoffs. “I’m supposed to believe you’re going to Hawaii for a family emergency?”
“I’ll be at a nursing home the whole time. It’s my… my grandfather.”
“I didn’t know your grandfather was still alive. After your parents died I thought…”
“Just barely. And I’m the only one left. I have to go see him. Please Jin.”
Jin sighs, letting go of your arm. “You have three days. And the moment you come back you’re right back on schedule. You won’t have a day off in between your next three shows.”
“Deal.” You agree, opening the door.
“Alright, put your mask on. Let’s get you to the airport.”
You dig through your purse, pulling out a face mask as you walk toward the elevator while Jin calls about a hundred people. You find out his full name is Kim Seokjin as he leads you out of the elevator and out to a black SUV.
“To the arena?” The driver asks.
“There’s been a change of plans Michi. Take us to the airport please.”
“Yes sir.” Michi starts the car and pulls off, obediently driving you to the airport, no questions asked. When you arrive at the airport, Jin grabs your arm before you can get out of the car.
“Remember. Three days. And be careful. No one knew you were coming so you shouldn’t get mobbed, but you don’t have security so stay under the radar.”
“I’ll be careful.” You nod before hopping out of the car, grabbing your bags and heading into the airport.
You breeze through the airport, no one except the security agents that read your name recognize you, and before you know it, you’re sitting on the airplane in first class. Before the airplane takes off, you take the opportunity to google yourself to see why you have a manager.
“Y/N is a Korean singer/songwriter.” Apparently you debuted when you were sixteen under IM entertainment and have been active ever since. During the flight you listen to your own music, thankful that it all sounds familiar to you and you know all the words. Damn. Never in your wildest dreams would you ever think this was a possibility for you to live, but here you are.
You hardly sleep through the twelve hour flight, your mind is too anxious. Will he even remember you? Will he want to see you? When you land you grab your bag and hail a cab to the nursing home, your stomach twisting in knots the entire time. When you arrive, you pay the driver and then head inside, taking off your face mask and walking up to the desk where a woman in scrubs is sitting. Please let you know english.
“Can I help you?”
“I’m here to see my grandfather.” Thank god.
“What’s his name?”
“Jeongguk Jeon.”
She types on her computer and then looks up at you in confusion. “Mr. Jeon doesn’t have any family listed in his file. You said you’re his granddaughter?”
“After my parents died, they were probably taken off his file. I’m all he has left.”
She eyes you suspiciously for a moment before shrugging. “Very well. Name please?”
“Y/N J-Jeon.”
She types in your name, prints out a visitor name tag for you and then stands up, motioning for you to walk with her. You follow her down several long hallways until you reach a door with Jeongguk’s name on it. She knocks as she opens the door. “Mr. Jeon, you have a visitor.” There he is. Sitting in a wheelchair facing toward the window opposite you.
“I don’t want to see the doctor.”
“It’s not the doctor Mr. Jeon. It’s your granddaughter.”
“I don’t have one.” He rasps, waving the nurse away.
She shrugs. “He has some memory problems, but maybe you can help jog them? I’ll be at my desk if you need anything.” The nurse states before disappearing, shutting the door behind you, leaving you alone with Jeongguk for the first time in, well, about seventy-one years.
You take a deep breath, steadying your nerves before crossing the room; the only sound being that of your footsteps, accompanied by your rapidly beating heart. You come to stand in front of him, but he doesn’t spare you a glance and it gives you a chance to study him as he looks out the window.
His hair has greyed to the point where it’s almost white, his face is filled with lines and creases that come with age, but his bunny teeth are still the same, his nose is still too big for his face, and his eyes are the same warm dark brown that you know, only now, they seem laced with an unknown sadness.
You kneel down in front of him, the movement causing him to look at you for the first time, and when he does it’s as if time itself stops. He stares at you, confusion written on his face, like he’s trying to place you and why you look so familiar, and then you see it. You can see the exact moment the memories come flooding back; his mouth drops open with the slightest gasp of recognition as his eyes grow wide, taking in the sight of you, the one he lost so long ago, appearing in front of him as if nothing has changed.
“Y-Y/N?” He whispers, one of his hands coming up to cup your face as if to make sure you’re actually here and not just a figment of his imagination.
“Hi Kook.” You offer a small smile, finally meeting his gaze.
You watch his eyes immediately brim with tears right before he grabs you and pulls you into his chest, holding you tightly as he sobs softly. You stay like this for a few minutes, enveloped in Jeongguk’s natural scent that you remember so vividly, taking comfort in the feeling of his arms wrapped around you until he pulls back, wiping the tears from your own eyes that you hadn’t even realized were falling.
“I… What… How?” Is all he can manage, staring at you in disbelief. “How?”
“If I told you, you’d think I was crazy.”
“I already do.” He teases with a smile.
You pull a chair up next to Jeongguk and take a seat before explaining everything to him; your childhood, the first jump, the haze and everything that happened after that up until now.
“So I hopped on the first plane here, hoping that you were the you I was looking for.”
“You jump through time?” He clarifies. You nod. “And you couldn’t have told me that sixty years ago?”
“You wouldn’t have believed me.”
“I would’ve believed anything. We thought Paul killed you. We thought his goons took you from the bar and killed you. I… I looked everywhere for you. I never stopped. I looked until I couldn’t walk anymore.”
“Jeongguk I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you wasted your life looking for me. I-”
“Shhh.” He shakes his head at you. “Just the thought that one day I might find you, that you might come back to me, it made it all worth it.” He smiles. “And here you are. You haven’t changed at all.”
“Neither have you.”
Jeongguk scoffs. “Have you seen my hair?”
“I have,” You chuckle, brushing his hair back. “But your eyes let me know that you’re the same Jeongguk I fell in love with.”
The two of you sit and chat for a long time. Hours. Jeongguk has you dig in his closet for an old photo album so he can show you everything he did while you were gone. He shows you picture after picture; the day his parents arrived in Hawaii, a week after you disappeared; him and Kono saying goodbye to Bits and Clara; one christmas when the girls came back to hawaii to surprise Kono and they all had dinner; his mugshot from when he was a suspect in your disappearance; a puppy he got; his enlistment photos from joining the US Army; photos from when he was stationed in Vietnam, the friends he made there, and the ones he lost. Overall, Jeongguk lived a good life, but a lonely one.
“Why didn’t you ever get married?” You ask.
“Can you grab my book off the nightstand there? And inside the drawer, there’s a wooden box, that too.” He points to the table beside his bed.
“Are you avoiding my question?” You tease as you stand and retrieve the book.
“No, I’m going to explain it. Give me the book.”
You hand the book and the box to him and sit back down in your chair, watching as he cracks the book open and pulls out his bookmark, handing it to you to look at as he digs through the box. You look at the bookmark closely and let out a soft gasp; it’s a very old, very worn picture that’s been taped up again and again to hold the pieces together and prolong its life, but it’s not the state of the picture that makes your heart ache, it’s what’s in the picture. It’s you. It’s the picture Clara took when you finally got your engagement ring back; you, standing nose to nose with Jeongguk, smiling as bright as the sun, your hands on his chest and his on your waist, the ring shining in the light.
“Jeongguk…” You whisper, turning to see him holding up your ring.
“You were the only one that ever deserved to put this ring on your finger.” He states, taking your hand and placing the ring in your palm.
“You kept it?” You ask, turning the gold band over and marveling at the ruby.
“Getting rid of it would’ve meant letting you go, and I could never bring myself to do that.” You sniffle as you wrap your arms tightly around Jeongguk, placing a kiss on his cheek before pulling back. “I want you to keep this. However long you’re here, in this life, I want you to have it.”
“J-Jeongguk I-”
“It’s yours.” He reminds you. “It always has been.” You nod, unable to speak as you take off your necklace and slip the ring onto the chain, fastening it back in place as Jeongguk begins to cough, bringing a handkerchief up to cover his mouth and then removing it once he’s finished and turning back to look at you.
You look at the corner of his mouth to see something red smeared on his bottom lip.
“Is that… blood?” You mumble, pointing to your own lip.
Jeongguk sighs. “Ah, I was hoping you wouldn’t see.”
“Jeongguk, what is it?”
“Lung cancer. Turns out smoking cigarettes isn’t good for you. It’s a good thing you came when you did, noona. I’m due to go soon.”
“Go…?”
He shrugs. “I’m ninety-two; I didn’t expect to live past thirty. I’ve made my peace with it. And now that I know you’re okay, I’m even more ready.”
“Come back to Korea with me.” You blurt.
“What?” He looks at you, confused.
“I-I have money in this life. I can get you doctors, medicine, anything you need. I can keep you safe.”
“Y/N, I wouldn’t even make the trip home.”
“Why not?”
“I saw the doctor yesterday, but I’ve known for a while. I’ve only got a few days left. My body isn’t strong enough to fight it anymore.”
“Kook no…”
“I’m afraid so.” He smiles sadly. There’s a moment of silence as you think of what to say.
“Jeongguk, would you mind if I stayed with you? Until…”
He nods as a tear slips down his cheek. “I’ve never wanted anything more.”
.
It doesn’t take long at all. You spend all of the next two days together, reminiscing, but Jeongguk’s body is deteriorating rapidly and he only grows weaker. On the third morning, when you wake up in the cot the nurse dragged into Jeongguk’s room for you, you look over and notice Jeongguk is unusually still. You quickly leap up and rush to his side to find that at some point during the night, he passed in his sleep; silently, peacefully; his last words the night before being ‘I love you, noona. Sleep well’.
You weep, devastated at the loss, expecting the haze to come over you at any moment, but in the hours you sit there, nothing changes. You have to accept the fact: you’re stuck here. You gather yourself and when the nurse comes in to check on you again, you tell her you have to go.
Technically Jeongguk’s belongings have been left to the facility, but she lets you take whatever you want. You grab the photo album, the wooden box, and Jeongguk’s book, cradling them in your arms and walking back out to the front desk to work out a few details. You have Jeongguk’s body sent back to Busan so that you can bury him there, along with any of his things the facility doesn’t want, and then you pack your things and head back to the airport; you promised Jin you’d only be gone for three days.
.
When you arrive back in Daegu, Michi picks you up from the airport. He doesn’t say anything, simply giving you a sympathetic glance as he starts the car and immediately drives you to some sort of a stadium where things already seem to be busy, and it’s only eight in the morning.
When you arrive, Jin immediately escorts you inside. You arrive backstage where you’re fitted with a microphone, your in-ear monitors, and then pushed out on stage where things are still being set up. “Okay, we’re just going to run through the opening to get the sound adjusted and then we’ll take it from the top.” You look down at the soundbooth to see someone giving you a thumbs up.
“Got it.” You nod, walking out to the center of the stage and looking around. A strange and yet familiar melody starts playing as you take in the size of the stadium. There’s no way you sold tickets for all these seats. There’s nothing you wanted more when you were little than to have a life like this, but you never imagined it’d happen, not even in this bizarre way.
You run through the rehearsal with no problems and are escorted back to the green room afterwards to eat lunch while Jin barrages you with a thousand questions, but you ignore him mostly, stating that you simply don’t want to talk about it until after the concert is over. He sighs and nods in understanding before leaving the room. You relax for a few hours before you’re escorted to hair and makeup.
It takes about an hour and a half for them to get you fixed up, and then on your way to get changed, Jin stops you and pulls you back toward the green room.
“Jin, I have to get changed.”
“No, remember you have the make a wish thing first.”
“Oh, right. Okay.”
“His name is Taewon. He’s eight years old and he was diagnosed with leukemia when he was five.”
“Oh my god that’s awful.”
“I know. He was in remission for a year before the cancer came back and they say he’s… not doing well. His older brother takes him to some sort of children’s hospital in the United States that allows him treatment without having to pay. Their parents were killed in a car accident two years ago, so it’s just the two of them and Taewon’s greatest wish was to attend one of your concerts. I figured a small meet and greet wouldn’t be too taxing for you, but please be nice.”
“Of course I’ll be nice.” You scoff. How could he think you wouldn’t be? Jin knocks on the open door of the green room and pokes his head in.
“Taewon! I’ve got a surprise for you.” Jin enters the room and waves you in. You walk in after him to see a small, frail looking boy with a face mask on and a beanie covering what you assume to be a hairless head. Though you can’t see his mouth, the way his eyes light up tell you that he’s beaming.
“Oh my goodness…” He whispers.
“Hi Taewon! It’s nice to meet you!” You bow politely before walking over to him and shaking his hand.
“Oh my gosh it’s really you!” He squeaks. “You’re really Y/N!”
“It’s really me, how are you doing?" You crouch down in front of him.
"I'm great now!" He tugs on the sleeve of the tall blonde man next to him. "Hyung look!"
"I see her bud." The blonde man nods and smiles a rather dazzling half smile. "Why don't you tell her what you wanted to say?" Taewon looks down at the ground and shuffles his feet, seeming embarrassed. "Go on." He urges.
"I-I wanted to say that you're my most favorite-est singer in the whole world."
"Aw, thank you so much Taewon!" You smile brightly at him. "What's your favorite song?"
He perks up at this. "My favorite is 'Keep Going'! It's my theme song during treatment! My mommy used to sing it to me before she died." Your heart breaks a little when you remember that this boy is incredibly, and most likely, terminally ill, and to make life worse, his parents were also taken from him.
"Wonnie, she doesn't need to know that." The older boy scolds.
"No, it's okay." You shake your head before looking back at Taewon. "I just lost someone very close to me as well." You tell him, reaching up to grab the ring that hangs from your necklace.
"You did? Who was it?"
"Someone I loved very much."
"I'm sorry for your loss." Taewon whispers, patting your shoulder.
"Thank you." You smile at him again. "I really appreciate that."
"Do you need a hug?" He asks.
You nod. "That would be great." You get down on your knees and allow Taewon to wrap his arms around you for a quick hug. "Are you ready for the show?" You ask as he pulls away, allowing you to stand back up.
"Yes!" He shouts, clapping his hands together.
"We should probably go find our seats. I'm sure you have to finish getting ready." The older boy states.
You turn to Seokjin and whisper to him. "Did they get front row seats, or...?"
Seokjin looks panicked at your words. "You didn't specify so we gave them the best that was still available."
"Hm..." You think for a moment. "Can we let them watch backstage or something?"
Seokjin nods. "Sure, that shouldn't be a problem."
"Great." You turn back to the two boys. "Taewon, I've got a surprise for you. How would you like to watch the show from backstage?"
His eyes light up. "Backstage? Really?!"
"Of course! Anything for my biggest fan."
"Oh, thank you!" He cheers, running over to wrap his arms around your legs. "See hyung?" He turns back to his brother. “I told you cancer has perks!"
The elder boy throws his hands up. "You got me there."
"Right. Y/N, you have to get ready." Seokjin reminds you before turning to one of the guards. "Choi, please take Taewon and..." He pauses as he looks toward the elder boy.
"Oh, um Taehyung." He stutters. “Kim Taehyung.”
"Take Taewon and Taehyung to their new seats please." Choi nods and begins to usher the boys out of the room. You follow them, waving goodbye in the hallway.
"I'll see you guys soon!" You state before heading to your changing room. "Seokjin?" You call as you walk.
"Yeah?"
"I want you to get that little boy anything his heart desires. Food, toys, merch, anything, got it?"
"Got it." He nods as you reach the changing room door and turn to him.
"And I want to change the encore to 'Keep Going'."
"Alright. I'll let them know." Seokjin reaches for his headset. "Now go get changed, you're on in ten!"
You fly through the concert no problem before finally reaching the encore. you stand just off stage as you hear everyone chanting "one more song!". An addicting rush floods through your body as you check your mic before walking back out on stage as the crowd starts to cheer.
"I've got one more song for you tonight Daegu, how does that sound?" You smile as everyone cheers in excitement. "Good, I'm glad. I'd like to dedicate this song to a very special friend of mine." You look over into the wing where Taewon is watching you. "He told me today that this was his favorite song, so if it's okay with you, I'd like to sing it for him." Your fans cheer and you wave over at Taewon, beckoning him out onto the stage with you. He looks up at his brother for permission, and when Taehyung nods, the younger boy scrambles to his feet and sprints out onto the stage with you. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet my friend, Kim Taewon." You hold your hand held mic out to him and whisper, "Say hello."
"Hello!" He smiles. "My name is Kim Taewon. I'm seven years old and I have leukemia!" He states, causing everyone in the crowd to "Aw" in sympathy as you nod to the sound guys to start the song. As the first few notes play, Taewon's face lights up. "This song's my favorite!" He exclaims into the mic.
You pat him on the shoulder. "This one's for you."
You sing to Taewon, letting him sing along whenever he wants to, bringing tears to the eyes of many of your fans. When the song ends, you say one final goodbye, give a grateful bow and lead Taewon off stage. You have the two boys wait in the green room while you change and wipe the mountain of makeup off of your face. As you change, you ask Jin to call Michi to take them home in the nicest car.
When you're clean, you walk back out to the green room in some shorts and an old shirt, knocking as you enter. "It's me."
"Y/N!" Taewon runs over and wraps his arms around your legs. "That was the coolest thing ever! You do that every night?"
You giggle at his enthusiasm. "Not every night, but sometimes it feels like it."
"I wanna be a singer when I grow up! Do you think they liked me? Do you think I could?"
"Definitely! You can do anything you want Taewon." You smile bittersweetly, knowing it's likely he won't live long enough to even graduate high school.
"I'm gonna start working really hard on my singing!"
Just then, Jin walks into the room. "The cars are here." He states, and you nod at him.
"I guess we should head out then." Taehyung says.
"Actually, one of the cars is for the two of you."
Taehyung's eyes go wide. "Really?"
"Yeah," You nod. "One last bit of fun. Taewon!" You turn to the younger boy. "Follow my friend Jin here, for your last surprise!"
"Okay!" Taewon takes off out of the room after Jin while you and Taehyung follow a bit farther back.
“Hey.” Taehyung whispers as you walk.
“Hm?” You look over at him.
“I… I just wanted to say thank you. You know… For being so nice to him.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” You shake your head.
“No.” He grabs your arm and stops you. “I really do.” He bows deeply to you in gratitude. “Thank you so much. I know it must’ve been difficult to see him during your busy schedule; and I really appreciate everything that you’ve done for him tonight.” Taehyung stands back up and looks ahead to where his brother is tugging on Seokjin’s arm.
"Really, it's no problem. Taewon's a great kid, and he's lucky to have you as his brother."
"Nah." Taehyung shakes his head as you start walking again. "I'm lucky to have him."
You walk in silence until you reach the back bay of the stadium where Taewon is currently scrambling to climb into the SUV you provided. Taehyung helps his brother in the rest of the way before turning back to you.
"Thanks again, for everything."
You nod, smiling at him. "Get home safe, and if you ever need anything, just let me know."
"Ah, don't worry about it."
"I'm serious. Here, give me your phone." You hold out your hand. Taehyung hesitates, but eventually unlocks his phone and lays it in your hand. You quickly type your number in, send yourself a text, and then hand him back the phone. "There. That's my personal cell phone. Please call, and I mean for anything." He nods, climbing into the car and rolling down the window. "Taewon!" You call, getting the younger boy's attention. "Your brother has my number. If you need anything, even if you just want me to visit while I'm in town, just let me know, okay?"
His eyes light up. "Okay!"
Taehyung gives you a small smile. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." You return the smile and wave as they drive away.
.
You text Taehyung everytime you're in Daegu for the next three months. You even invited him to a music video shoot nearby, but he never responds. Did he change his number? Does he not want your help? You can't figure out why it upsets you so much, you only met him once; but something about Taehyung draws you to him.
A month and half later, on a rainy afternoon in May as you're relaxing at your house discussing possible TV appearances with Jin, your phone starts to buzz beside you and you pick it up to finally see his name flash on the screen. Kim Taehyung. Suddenly you're scrambling to answer.
"Hello?"
"Um, hi Y/N. I don't know if you remember me or not-"
"Of course I remember you Taehyung." You can't help but smile.
"O-oh. Okay. Um... Sorry for not messaging you back, we've been a little busy."
"It's alright, don't worry about it. How are you?"
You hear him sigh on the other end of the line. "To be honest, I'm out of options..."
"What do you mean?" You inquire, concerned by the tone of his voice.
Another sigh. "How quickly can you get to Daegu?"
"I'm in Busan so maybe an hour and a half if I drive?
"Okay." It's quiet for a moment.
"Taehyung-" You're interrupted when your phone buzzes against your ear.
"Can you meet me at the address I just texted you?"
"Sure, but Taehyung, what's going on?"
"I... I'd rather tell you in person." His voice cracks just a bit. "Just please meet me as soon as you can."
"Okay, I'm on my way right now."
"Thank you..." Click. Your phone beeps, signaling the end of the call.
"What was that about?" Jin asks, his interest clearly piqued.
You ignore him as you plug the address into the GPS on your phone. "Daegu Gyeongsang Hospital?" You think for a moment before realization hits you and you gasp. "Taewon."
"The cancer kid?"
"How fast can we get to Daegu?"
"Like you said. An hour and a half maybe?"
"Call Michi, we're leaving now."
"Y/N, what's going on?" Jin gets up and follows you to your room as you begin throwing clothes into a bag.
"I think Taewon's in the hospital."
Seokjin sighs before grabbing his phone and dialing a number. "Michi? Get ready. We're going to Daegu."
An hour and fifteen minutes later, you walk through the front door of the hospital and walk up to the counter with a mask and a hat on, Jin trailing close behind.
"Kim Taewon?" You ask as you walk up to the front desk.
"Your name?" The nurse questions as Jin walks up.
"You cannot tell anyone that she is here." Jin tells the nurse. "We don't need the press blowing this out of proportion."
The nurse looks confused until you pull down your mask and her eyes go wide. "O-oh my god..."
"Sorry, but I'm in a bit of a hurry. Can you freak out after you tell me where Kim Taewon's room is?"
"Right, s-sorry." She looks up his name on her computer. "He's in the pediatric ward, room 532. C-can I have your autograph?" You smile at her and take the piece of paper and pen she hands you, signing it for her before looking back at Jin.
"You go ahead, I'll get things sorted here and then be up." Jin states. You nod and then head off in the direction the nurse points you in, taking the elevators to the fifth floor and searching for room 532.
It takes you a few minutes, but you soon recognize a mess of blonde hair standing at one of the nurse's stations, staring at his phone. "Taehyung!"
His head snaps up to locate your voice. When his eyes land on you, he smiles. "Y/N."
"What's going on?" You ask, slightly out of breath.
His smile disappears. "Come with me." He leads you across the hall and around the corner to room 532 and opens the door to reveal Taewon fast asleep on the bed. Taewon has all sorts of wires and tubes hooked up to him; his breathing is shallow and harsh; and he looks so pale and frail; nothing like he was just a few months ago.
"What happened?" You ask quietly, not wanting to wake the sleeping boy.
"He relapsed..." Taehyung whispers, looking as though he's holding back tears. "And he's just getting worse by the day, I... I don't know what to do." Taehyung collapses to his knees and you crouch beside him to hold him up, helping him back to his feet and escorting him out of the room over to the small seating area, shutting the door to Taewon's room behind you.
You allow Taehyung to cry on your shoulder, doing your best to comfort him as you wait for him to speak again. He gathers himself faster than you thought he would and sniffles as he explains.
"It was about two weeks after we met you. He started getting headaches and was getting sick at night so we came in for a checkup and..." He sighs. "It's back. And it's worse this time around. He can barely eat or walk, all he does is sleep. They've got him on this medicine and even though he says it's helping him, I don't think it actually is. And I don't have the money to fly back to the children's hospital in the United states. I can't even afford to drive to Seoul." He shakes his head. "Not that it matters, he can't travel. You saw him."
"What are they doing for him here?"
"More chemotherapy." Taehyung states. "But I don't know if he can do it any more. He's just so tired. I'm afraid... I don't think his body can continue to fight. And I don't want to force him, but I don't want to lose him." His tears start rolling down his cheeks again, but he does his best to hold it together. "Honestly I don't even know why I called you. It's just hard doing this alone..."
"Taehyung I'm so sorry... Is there anything I can do?"
"I can't ask you to do anything. I'm sure you have a busy schedule. I guess I just wanted you to know. He looks up to you so it would mean a lot if you talked to him."
"Of course. Anything."
Just then you hear a voice from inside the room. "Hyung!"
Taehyung leaps to his feet and hurries over to open the door and pokes his head inside wearing a forced smile. "Finally awake?" You don't hear the response, but Taehyung motions for you to join him. "Bored? Well, it's a good thing I brought back a surprise!"
When you walk up behind Taehyung, you hear an excited but exhausted voice. "What is it? Show me!"
Taehyung looks back at you and you nod, watching as he opens the door to reveal you to his little brother. You watch Taewon's eyes grow wide in amazement. "Y/N! You're here! What are you doing here?!" He squeaks.
"I heard my biggest fan wasn't feeling well. I had to come check on you!" You explain.
"I'm okay!" He smiles. "It's just a relapse, I've been through it before."
Your heart breaks at the way he says it so nonchalantly. "Well I'm glad to see that! You had me worried for a moment."
You go in and sit on the end of Taewon's bed, casually chatting with him for hours while Taehyung sits in a chair and watches silently. You don't realize how late it's gotten until the nurse comes into the room to give Taewon his nightly medicine and not so subtly states that he should be resting.
You agree, and help tuck Taewon in before saying goodnight and following Taehyung out to see Jin waiting on the bench outside of the room. You forgot he was here.
"All finished for the night?" He asks as you shut the door behind you. You nod. "Good." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a card. "Here's your room key, you're booked across the street."
"You don't have to stay." Taehyung shakes his head. "I couldn't ask you-"
"I want to." You assure him. "My tour’s over and I have a couple weeks off in my schedule. I'm here for as long as you need me." You give his arm a squeeze.
Taehyung's eyes well up with tears again. "Thank you. So much, I... I don't know how to repay you."
"Don't worry about it. Anything you need, just ask."
He nods, sniffling a bit as you say goodnight before heading back to your hotel with Seokjin.
.
For the next two weeks, you spend every day with Taewon and Taehyung; talking, laughing, sneaking the younger boy snacks, keeping him company when Taehyung has to run errands for a few hours every day; you enjoy befriending them both, they're both incredibly sweet and funny, and you like spending time with them, Taewon reminds you so much of the little brother you left behind with your parents.
Unfortunately, Taewon's condition only worsens the longer you stay, and it seems as though Taehyung's energy is being sapped along with his younger brother's. By the end of the second week, Taewon sleeps more and more, eating and laughing less, it usually ends up just being you and Taehyung watching TV or playing cards together, letting the younger boy rest as much as possible.
At the end of the second week, after Taehyung loses the last round of poker that he can possibly stand losing, you pop one last cookie in your mouth before you start gathering your things. You look up as Taehyung runs his fingers through his hair with a sigh.
"Tired of losing?" You tease.
He chuckles, shaking his head. "Just... a lot on my mind."
"Wanna have a drink?" You blurt.
"A drink?" He repeats.
You nod. "Why not?"
Taehyung hesitates as he looks over at the bed where his brother is sleeping. "I should... I should stay with him."
"Come on, the nurse is here, she'll give you a pager. Taewon's asleep and will be for hours. Let's go have a drink."
Taehyung looks over at his sleeping brother once more before he nods. "You're right, I could use one."
The nurse gives Taehyung an emergency pager, and after he tells the nurse a million times to page him when Taewon wakes up, you manage to drag Taehyung out of the hospital and up to your room across the street. You open the door and lead him inside, raiding the mini fridge. "What's your drink of choice?"
"Um. Soju? Or vodka."
You take all the bottles of soju out and carry them over to the bed, taking a seat on it and then gesturing for Taehyung to do the same. He carefully takes a seat on the bed with you, watching as you crack open a bottle and take a long swig.
"Thirsty?" He smirks.
"Just a bit." You nod before handing him the bottle. "Your turn."
He takes the bottle with a smile. "I've never had a drink with a celebrity before."
"Just think of it as drinking with a friend." You state. He smiles wider, raising the bottle to you before chugging nearly half of it. "Ah, apparently someone else is thirsty."
.
Two hours and four bottles later, the two of you are absolutely wrecked. You're rolling on the bed cackling as you watch TV and tell stories.
"I'm telling you! He walked right in there, and screamed his new favorite word. Our parents were mortified. You should have seen the look on my dad's face."
"Just screamed it?" You snort.
"He said 'Fucking bastard!' I thought she was going to fall over."
"I'm glad he's always been just as spirited as he is now."
"Oh yeah." Taehyung smiles bittersweetly, suddenly quieter. "Always has been."
You roll over to face him, seeing the sadness in his eyes. "He's a great kid."
Taehyung nods. "I just wish I could see him grow up."
"Hey, there's a chance, isn't there? He could get better again."
"Even if he does, I won't be around to see it."
"What do you mean?" You sit up on your elbows.
"Oh, um... It's nothing."
"No," You shove his shoulder. "You can't just say something like that and not explain."
He sighs. "I didn't want to tell anyone because I didn't want them to worry... Um, I..." He rubs his forehead. "I also... h-have... I have cancer."
"What...?" You ask in disbelief. "What kind?"
"It's in my heart. Well, the tumor is. Apparently it's rare, and there's no known treatment."
"So... When you disappear every day-?"
"I'm getting experimental tests done." He rolls up his sleeves and shows you the numerous bruises on his arms from different IV's and medicine injections.
"Taehyung, why-"
"Because I didn't want Taewon to worry. The focus should be on him, not me."
"But-"
"There's no point in worrying about me when nothing can be done. He could still pull through."
"Don't you think in two years he'll want to know why he's still alive, but you aren't? You're all he has, Taehyung."
"I guess... I never thought about it. I don't think about the future much..."
"Taehyung, I'm so sorry."
He shrugs. "It's okay. I've come to terms with it, there's just still so much I wish I could do."
"I can only imagine. Never growing up, or graduating college, or going on a date, or-"
"Woah, I've been on dates."
"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to assume."
He chuckles. "What did you think, I was a virgin or something." You hesitate a second too long and his eyes go wide in disbelief. "You did, didn't you?!"
"I mean..."
"Do I give off that vibe?" He sounds panicked.
"Not necessarily. I just figured since you've been taking care of your brother so long-"
"That I've never done anything?" He snorts in disapproval. "I can prove I'm not a virgin." He points at you and a sudden heat flushes your cheeks. It takes a few seconds for him to realize what he said, but when he does he quickly becomes shy. "I just meant... I know what I'm doing." He finishes his drink and sighs. "I should get going."
"You can sleep here."
"Oh god, no I couldn't."
"Come on, they gave me a room with two beds. You can use one of them."
He sighs. "I guess it's better than that cot I've been sleeping on."
"Exactly."
.
Two weeks later, Taehyung has been staying at the hotel with you every night since the first night you invited him to use the spare bed, getting to know each other better, growing closer as the days pass. Last night, you and Taehyung got drunk again, and you don't remember falling asleep, but you wake up to the sound of very loud beeping.
"Hm? What the..." You realize what it is and sit up in a panic, chucking a pillow at the sleeping figure in the other bed. "Taehyung."
"Huh?" He jumps. "What?"
"It's your pager."
It takes a moment for it to register before he leaps out of bed and scrambles to scoop the pager off the table. "It says it's an emergency." He quickly jumps into action, grabbing his jacket and throwing it on as you do the same before you both run out of the room and across the street to the hospital.
.
"What happened?" Taehyung asks as the elevator doors open on Taewon's floor.
"Taehyung, what’s wrong?" The head nurse smiles when she sees you both walk in, until she sees the look on your faces.
“You paged an emergency.” Taehyung states, waving the pager in front of himself.
“No I didn’t.” She takes the pager from Taehyung and looks at it before her eyes widen in realization. “Ah, I think I know what happened here. Follow me.” She leads you to Taewon’s room and opens the door. “Taewon, is this why you wanted to sit at my desk earlier?” She gestures to Taehyung as he walks in the room.
“I was booooored.” Taewon whines, causing you and Taehyung to breathe a sigh of relief. Taehyung scolds the younger boy, explaining to him why he should only do that when there’s a real emergency, otherwise he just needs to text one of you.
It's hard to watch as the younger boy lays there smiling at the two of you, clearly not seeing his own wrong-doing, or simply choosing to ignore it. If only he knew that even if he gets better, from here on out, Taehyung will only get worse. He's already starting to show signs of fatigue, and the new medicine they're trying has the older boy losing weight at a rapid pace. You don’t want to acknowledge it, but you can see it in Taehyung’s eyes, he's already starting to give up.
Around dinner time, you head to the cafeteria with the boys, pushing Taewon in his wheelchair down the halls, doing your best to keep them both laughing. The elevator doors open on the floor where the cafeteria sits and you immediately hear, "There she is!".
You're assaulted by the flashing of cameras and instantly move to cover your friends faces as paparazzi call out your name, bombarding you with questions as you slam your hand on the door close button. The doors finally shut and you press the button for the children's ward again.
"W-What just happened?" Taehyung asks.
"I'm so sorry." You whisper. "I should've been more careful."
"Y/N-"
The doors open and you walk up to the nurse's station on a mission. "Taewon needs to be moved to the private wing."
The nurse jumps at your words, your sudden demand startling her. "Why?"
"I'll explain later. Can we move him now?"
"The private wing is um... a bit more expensive." She states, looking over at Taehyung.
"I'll take care of it. Just get him moved now."
Five minutes later you're walking down the hallway of the private wing, on your way to Taewon's new room. His new room is bigger, with a better bed, tv, and even room service. There is also a guest bedroom with a king sized bed attached to the room.
"Woah!" Taewon gasps as you wheel him in. "This is so cool!" Taehyung helps his little brother move to the bed just as Seokjin appears in the doorway, out of breath.
"I've been looking for you all over this damn hospital."
"Seokjin." You scold his language, nodding your head at Taewon.
"It's okay Y/N. I've heard hyung say damn before!" Taewon states, making the three of you laugh as Seokjin catches his breath.
"Jin, what happened?"
"This," He hands you a tabloid. "Came out this morning."
You take the paper from him and open it up to see the headline, ‘Y/N's new secret boyfriend, and a baby on the way?’ above a giant picture of you and Taehyung walking out of the hospital just last night along with a second picture of you both going into the hotel across the street.
"Shit..." You mumble, turning to the older boy. "Taehyung, I'm so sorry."
He takes the paper from you and his eyes go wide. "What the... Oh my god."
"Y/N, you're having a baby?!" Taewon squeaks with joy. "I knew you two were in love!"
"Taewon-" Taehyung rolls his eyes.
"Um, no sweetie." You shake your head, your cheeks flushing red. "Sometimes newspapers like to say things that aren't true.”
"They lie?" You nod. "Why would they do that?"
"To make people read their stories." Seokjin sighs. "To get people's attention."
"I would rather read the truth." Taewon states matter of factly.
"And that's why we keep you around." Taehyung laughs, ruffling his brother's hair.
"What do we do?" You turn to Seokjin.
He rubs his neck. "You should be safe here." He states. "But the company is furious and wants you to post the truth to your social media before rumors get too out of hand."
"Okay, I'll do that tonight."
Alright." He nods. "I have to go make arrangements with security, but I'll see you later." And with that, he leaves.
The next few hours are spent getting Taewon adjusted to his new room, ordering food, watching tv, and figuring out a script for your video. As you're filming, you introduce the two Kim boys, reiterating that you're not pregnant, you've been visiting Taewon in the hospital to make sure he gets better.
You send the video to Seokjin who quickly approves it, allowing you to post it on your social media. Fans quickly comment their support and understanding and you breathe a sigh of relief, ignoring the hate comments as per usual. Taewon seems amazed at how quickly the video blows up as you show him all the comments cheering him on and telling him to feel better; and thus the three of you can relax again.
When the movie you're watching is over, Taewon sighs and turns to you. " Noona, are you sure you're not in love with hyungie?"
You choke on your water as Taehyung scolds the younger boy. "Taewon, enough."
"But you guys are together all the time! And you're always laughing and whispering together! Just like in the movies!" Taewon whines.
"We're just friends, Taewon." You shrug. "Just good friends."
"Well, can you fall in love already? I want you to be happy."
"I'm afraid it's not that simple." You explain.
"Exactly." Taehyung agrees. "Besides, I'm sure Y/N has a famous idol boyfriend already."
"I actually don't, but that doesn't change the fact that you can't force people to fall in love. And you can't choose who you fall in love with either..." You trail off as your fingers play with the ring dangling from your necklace. You haven’t thought about him in a few days but your heart aches the same. “Anyway, I should probably get going so that someone can get some sleep.” You stand up and walk over to Taewon, ruffling his hair before saying goodnight and walking up to the door.
“You aren’t staying here?” Taehyung asks, following you out into the hallway.
“And give the papers more to talk about.” You shake your head. “I’ll just be across the street if you need me.” He hesitates before nodding, letting you go.
As you settle into your bed, you can't help but notice just how quiet your hotel room is without Taehyung in it. You didn't realize how soothing his snoring had become. You toss and turn in your bed, unable to shut your eyes for more than a few seconds until your phone buzzes on the nightstand. You pick it up to see a message from Taehyung.
Taehyung (11:37pm): Can you sleep?
Can he read minds?
You (11:37 pm): Not without the sound of you snoring Taehyung (11:38 pm): wow. Here I am being a good friend, checking on you. and you insult me! You (11:39 pm): lmao You either? Taehyung (11:39 pm): Nah. This room feels weird. You (11:40 pm): It feels weird? Taehyung (11:40 pm): Yeah, I don't know how to explain it. I guess I got used to sleeping without the sound of hospital machines beeping. You (11:40 pm): Turn on the tv? Taehyung (11:41 pm): I tried that already. I don't even feel tired any more You (11:42 pm): Do you want to go for a drive? Taehyung (11:42 pm): A drive? You (11:43 pm): Yeah. You know, like in a car? Taehyung (11:44 pm): Won't you get in trouble? You (11:45 pm): Meet me out front in fifteen
After getting dressed and convincing Michi to let you borrow the car without telling Seokjin, you're parked outside the front entrance of the hospital waiting for Taehyung. You jump at the sudden knock on the window until you see it's Taehyung and unlock the car. He climbs into the passenger seat and the two of you take off.
"Your driver actually let you take the car?" He asks.
"Yeah, apparently I do it all the time."
"Apparently?" He looks confused.
You hesitate. "It's uh, hard to explain..."
"Alright. So where are we going?"
"I don't know." You shrug. "You know the area, is there anywhere we can go to just chill?"
"I know just the place."
Taehyung directs you the rest of the way, and before long you pull up a driveway to a small house surrounded by trees. As you get out of the car you hear nothing but crickets chirping and bugs buzzing, even the stars seem brighter out here.
"Where are we?"
"Welcome to my house."
"Your house?"
"You didn't think we lived at the hospital, did you?"
You shake your head as you follow him. "So this is where you grew up?"
"Mhm." He leads you around the yard to the back of the house where there's a small patio with a firepit. "S'mores?"
You can't help but smile. "Sounds great."
.
After your fifth s'more, as you lick your fingers clean, you catch Taehyung staring at you. "What?" You ask.
"Nothing." He shakes his head, going back to poking at the fire, a hint of a smile playing at his lips. "You're just... You're not what I expected."
"Well what did you expect?"
"Definitely not someone who can down five s'mores in twenty minutes."
"Shut up." You giggle as you shove his arm. "You've had like thirteen."
"I'm just saying, the media does a great job painting you as a dainty... block of ice."
"Ice?" Your eyebrows furrow. "Do you think I'm that cold?"
"No, no not anymore." He explains. "But I definitely didn't think you'd be this chill. You seem so proper in your interviews, I was worried when Taewon chose you as his wish , I didn't..." He clears his throat. "I didn't think this sort of stuff meant anything to you which is why you kept putting it off."
"Not at all. I had to reschedule because of my hus- uh... s-some family problems." You reach up and twirl the ring in your fingers. Taehyung observes you, but doesn't press the matter.
"I'm glad you called me out here actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."
"What's up?" You look up to see his face has become very serious. "Taehyung?"
He sighs. "Next week I've decided to have experimental surgery to try and remove the tumor."
"W-what?" You gasp.
"Don't try to change my mind. If there's a chance I can get rid of this thing, I want to do it."
"Taehyung, that's insane. There's still other treatments you could-"
"Y/N, don't." He scoots closer and grabs your hands. "I told you I've already made up my mind."
"But-"
"No but's." He shakes his head. "However, there's something I need you to do for me."
"Anything." You nod.
Taehyung sighs again. "Unfortunately, there's only a ten percent survival rate for this surgery."
"Taehyung-"
"Listen." He scolds. "I don't plan on going anywhere, but if I do, I want you to take care of Taewon for me."
"You want me to be his guardian?"
He nods. "I know it sounds crazy , but you're the only one I trust. And you're the only one he has. I can't let him go into foster care. I can't do that to him. Please, promise me you'll take care of him?"
"As if he were my own brother." You agree.
"Really?" Taehyung seems surprised by your answer.
"Of course." You mumble. "But Taehyung..." You sniffle, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. "You're... You're not allowed to go anywhere, okay?"
"Y/N..." He reaches a hand up and wipes away a tear that has slipped down your cheek as you meet his gaze. "Don't cry."
"Don't go."
He offers you a small smile. "I'm not going anywhere."
.
The two of you sit out until early in the morning when the fire dies before Taehyung leads you inside the house and into what must be his bedroom. When he flicks on the light, he realizes a problem.
“Um. I can go sleep in Taewon’s room if you want to sleep here. His bed’s a little small.”
“We can share.” You state. He looks at you, bewildered, and you just nod.
You pull the covers back and both climb under, turning face to face as you close your eyes and breathe in, inhaling Taehyung’s now slightly smoky scent. You open your eyes again to see Taehyung observing you closely and you raise your eyebrows to ask why.
It's quiet for a few seconds, the two of you locked in this moment until Taehyung leans forward and presses a gentle kiss against your lips. He rests his forehead against yours as you breathe out shakily. He places another kiss against your cheek. "I'm not going anywhere."
He pulls back and your eyes meet once more. You can't tell if it's all the emotion in the air, the underlying loneliness and feelings you've been repressing, or a mixture of both, but as you look into Taehyung's eyes, you realize you're ready.
You both silently agree on what's about to happen and Taehyung immediately reaches for you, pulling you against him and planting his lips on yours. You wrap your arms around his neck, lacing your fingers in his hair as an attempt to get closer. His lips are soft and plump and it doesn't take long for his tongue to flick against your mouth which you happily accept, tugging on his blonde locks and eliciting a soft grunt from him as he slips his tongue into your mouth.
Taehyung's hands are all over your body until he finally reaches down to unbutton your shorts before yanking them down your legs and then shedding his own pants. He quickly climbs on top of you, settling himself between your legs as his lips find your neck. He licks and bites at your skin as one of his hands slides under your shirt and under your bra to fondle your breast. He does his best, but your bra keeps getting in the way.
"This won't do." He mutters, sitting up and pulling your shirt off over your head before reaching around and unhooking your bra while he kisses you deeply. You're left short of breath as Taehyung tosses your bra aside and focuses his mouth on your breasts instead. He plants wet kisses on your chest before flicking his tongue across your nipple , making you gasp. He squeezes your breasts together as he smirks up at you. "You're beautiful, you know."
"Me?" You scoff. "Have you looked in a mirror?"
Taehyung simply shrugs, rubbing his thumbs over your nipples; back and forth, back and forth; making you squirm beneath him. He watches you closely, relishing in your reaction and occasionally letting his tongue graze across the hardening buds.
When he's finished teasing you, he kisses his way down your body, tugging off your underwear before laying on his stomach in front of you and trying to spread your legs.
"W-What are you doing?"
"What do you mean what am I doing?" He giggles until he sees the look on your face. "Wait, has... No one's ever gone down on you before?"
"No..." You admit.
He stares at you, shocked. "Are you serious?"
"I've only had sex with one other person!"
"Oh. Really?" You nod. "How long has it been?"
"70 years technically." You mutter under your breath.
"How many?"
"Uh. S-seven years."
"Wow, so since you debuted basically."
You guess that's when you debuted. "Yeah, I haven't really had a chance since."
"Do you want me to try and see how you like it?" He asks.
You hesitate. "I-I guess so."
"You sure? I don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable."
"N-no. Go ahead."
Taehyung nods, keeping your legs closed as he pushes them back into your chest, beginning by placing soft kisses all over the backs of your thighs as his lips wander closer and closer to your center until finally you feel the first brush of his fingers against you. He lightly drags his thumb down over your folds, pressing ever so lightly before running his tongue up in the opposite direction, making you gasp. He tries to spread your legs again, but you still hesitate.
"Do you trust me?" He asks, looking up at you. You nod, and finally allow him to spread your legs.
You watch as he brings his mouth down to your center and flicks his tongue out once more, licking a long stripe up your center before poking his way into your folds and gently prodding his tongue at you until you're begging for more. He happily obliges, settling his face between your thighs and rubbing his tongue against your clit, making you shiver.
You've never felt anything like this before. It doesn't feel this good when you do it yourself; how does his tongue even move that fast? Your hands automatically tangle themselves in his hair, tugging gently whenever his tongue presses down particularly hard. After a few minutes of this blissful torture, Taehyung's thumb returns, rubbing lightly around your soaked entrance. When he realizes how wet he's made you, he smirks against you.
"Damn, you get worked up easily." He teases.
"Shut up." You mumble, pulling on his hair harder to get him to go back to what he was doing.
Taehyung obeys your wishes and this time wraps his lips around your bundle of nerves, sucking on it delicately. You feel his thumb pull away and it's quickly replaced by two of his long fingers which he presses against your core until they find their way deep inside you. You let out a strangled moan, thrusting your hips up into his face, making him chuckle as he continues his ministrations.
He slowly pumps his fingers in and out while his lips and tongue stay focused on your clit, his tongue picking up speed as his fingers do. Suddenly he curls his fingers forward inside you and your breath is taken away as he rubs against your g-spot.
"Oh fuck!" You whimper, squirming beneath his touch. You chance a glance down at Taehyung to see him staring back up at you, smirking, and you immediately look away, blushing.
You're panting now, your body unable to hold back as you feel your orgasm creeping in on you. Taehyung moans against your center, vibrating your body as you look down at him again; this time his eyes are closed, and you can see him rutting his hips against the bed, chasing his own friction. He sucks harder, his tongue moving faster as he tries to get you off so he can stop teasing himself more than anything. It doesn't take much more, just a few good flicks of his wrist and you start to unravel beneath him.
"T-Taehyung, I'm... I'm gonna-" You try to warn him. He only nods against you, sucking on your bundle harshly as he helps you fall apart with a cry of his name. "Taehyung!" You gasp as your body is flooded with the warmth of your orgasm, your thighs quivering around Taehyung's head as you drench his chin and fingers with your release. Your body shakes and your core pulses as Taehyung coasts you through, pulling off as you calm down and resting his head on your lower abdomen as you attempt to catch your breath.
"Okay, that was hot as hell." He states, reaching up to absentmindedly play with your breast. "You good?"
You nod as your breath comes back to you. That was way more powerful than your last orgasm. "Holy shit."
"I told you I knew what I was doing." He smiles.
"And you were right." You admit. Taehyung seems pleased by this as he climbs up your body to kiss you, the taste of yourself lingering on his tongue as he slides it past your lips. That's when you feel Taehyung's length pressing against your thigh as he lays on top of you; hard and throbbing, aching to be inside you if the way his hips press against you is any indication. "Do you want me to, um. Return the favor?" You ask.
He shakes his head. "I just want to be inside you. You felt so tight." He groans in your ear, sending heat flooding back between your legs. You wrap your legs around him and pull him close.
"I'm ready if you are."
"Already?" He asks, surprised.
"Mhm." You nod shyly. "Please?"
Taehyung quickly sits up and sheds his boxers. You watch as his hard length bounces, amazed to see it dripping. "Wait, shit. I don't have a condom."
"Don't worry about it, I’ve got it covered." You hurry him, pulling him back down to you.
"Hey," He cups your face as he leans over you. "Let me enjoy this. Slow down."
"Sorry." You giggle.
"It's not every day I get to fuck an idol."
"Hey!" You roll your eyes, laughing as you smack his chest. "Come on."
He smiles as he leans down and kisses you again, scooting forward and rubbing against you, coating himself in your juices before lining himself up with your entrance and pushing in. You gasp as he fills you, the sensation overwhelming you as you moan low in your chest. Taehyung grits his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut at the feeling of you wrapped around his length. When he fills you to the hilt, you both breathe out as he opens his eyes again to gaze down at you.
“Damn. I didn’t think you were going to be this tight.” He grunts, leaning down to kiss you once more.
“Please move.” You beg, your hands squeezing his shoulders.
Taehyung nods, pulling his hips back to smack them into you again, and again, and again. He builds a slow, but satisfying rhythm, filling you completely each time before pulling out again. You get lost in the feeling of Taehyung thrusting into you, both of you caught up in this intimate moment with each other. You tug on his hair, eliciting the sweetest of moans from his lips moments before they reattach to yours.
“Harder…” You whisper when you come up for breath. He groans in agreement, obeying your wishes as he fucks you harder, his hips slapping against yours with a sweet smacking sound as you wrap your legs around his waist.
Suddenly he angles his thrusts upward and his cock brushes against a spot that has you keening against him, loving the way it makes you feel.
“Oh fuck~!” You whimper.
Taehyung smirks as he repeats the motion, over and over, he slams into the spot so hard you see stars. Suddenly you feel that now familiar feeling swirling in the pit of your stomach. “T-Taehyung…”
“I know, I know.” He pants, picking up his pace and watching your breasts bounce as he does. “Whenever you’re ready.”
You can only nod, too far gone for words at this point. It’s only a few more thrusts before you come undone in his arms, your entire body quivering as you moan from the force of your orgasm. Taehyung rides it out with you, making sure you’re finished before he pulls out and strokes himself to completion on your stomach, groaning softly.
The two of you stay there panting for a while, relishing in the moment with each other as you both come down from your highs. Taehyung eventually gets up and slips his boxers back on, shuffling over to the bathroom and returning with a damp washcloth. He cleans you off and then tosses the cloth aside, giving you his shirt to put on before he crawls back onto the bed with you, curling up behind you and wrapping an arm around your waist.
Taehyung kisses your cheek softly, pulling you close. You lay there in the silence for a while, neither of you wanting to disturb the moment, but as you’re about to drift off Taehyung speaks. “Y/N, can I tell you something?”
“Mm.” You mumble an acknowledgement.
“I think Taewon was right.”
You roll over to face him. “How so?”
“I think… I think I’m falling in love with you.” He whispers, brushing a piece of hair out of your face.
Your heart thumps so hard in your chest, you’re afraid he can hear it. “Really?” You ask. He nods, meeting your gaze and looking for a response. You decide to tell him the truth. If this is the last moment you have with him, you want him to know. “I love you too.”
.
A week later, you wake up and sunlight is filtering in through the blinds. You slowly stretch, feeling someone’s arms wrapped around your waist. You smile to yourself, settling back into his embrace when your phone buzzes on the nightstand next to you. You pick it up to see it’s a message from your lawyer who you contacted the day before.
Lawyer Sooyoung (10:22 am): Hey, I have everything together for you if you want to meet today and sign it! You (10:23am): Perfect! If you could bring it by this address later, I'll be here all day!
You send her Taehyung’s address and then put your phone back down. Today’s the last day before Taehyung’s surgery, so you told him to spend the entire day with Taewon instead of you, knowing that if things don’t go well tomorrow, it could be their last day together.
You roll over and gently rouse Taehyung, wanting him to go over as soon as possible.
“Tae, wake up.”
“Mm… Y/N?” His eyes flutter open and he looks up at you.
“Hey, it’s sunday.” You remind him. “You should get going.”
Realization spreads over his face and he nods. “Ah, right.” You sure you don’t want to come?”
You shake your head. “I have things to do today. And it should really just be the two of you.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“And please, don't forget to tell him what’s happening.”
He nods again, still not fully awake as he places a kiss on your forehead and then sits up, rubbing his hands over his face. Taehyung dresses and then gives you one last kiss before heading to the hospital.
You spend the rest of the morning puttering about the house, watching tv, playing on your phone before you get a text from Sooyoung that she’s on the way. You change out of your pajamas and wait for her to arrive, hearing her car pull into the driveway before long. You head out to the front door to greet her.
“Sooyoung!” You cheer as she gets out of her car with her briefcase.
She scoffs at you, shutting the car door behind her. “Since when do you use my full name? Am I in trouble?”
Ah, you forgot. You’ve met Sooyoung a few times since you ended up here and had to listen to her talk about how close the two of you seem to be. “Sorry, Unnie! Just glad to see you.” You offer a smile as she reaches the front door and gives you a quick hug.
“I don’t know Y/N, something’s off about you lately. It’s like you’re this whole different person.” She states as she walks into the house, quickly setting her things on the kitchen table and taking a seat. You hurry over and do the same, sitting across from her.
“I feel different.” You state.
“Mm.” She eyes you carefully before waving the conversation away. “Anyway, I drew up everything you asked for, you just need to read over and sign everything. And Taehyung needs to sign a few things too.”
“He won’t be back until tonight.”
“That’s fine, just have him sign everything and you can have Jin bring it by tomorrow.”
“Where do we start?”
Sooyoung pulls several documents out of her briefcase, all organized neatly as she reads over each one with you before showing you everywhere to sign and initial. The first one states transfer of guardianship for Taewon if anything happens to Taehyung. The second is about you. If anything ever happens to you, you’re designating everything you have to Taewon when he turns 18, well, if he turns 18. Until then, Jin will be in charge, helping watch over Taewon until he is grown and able to manage things himself; and of course a healthy portion of your funds go to Jin directly; if only as a thank you for putting up with you all this time, especially the last two weeks.
After everything is signed and finished, Sooyoung begins to pack up her things. “Okay, that’s everything.” She states, smiling. “If you need anything else just let me know!”
“Actually, there is one more thing. I need you to open a safe deposit box for me.”
She nods. “Sure. I’ll get a key for you sometime in the next few days.”
“Thanks.” You nod, giving her a hug before walking her back out to her car. “For everything.”
“Hey, it’s what you pay me for.” She jokes.
“Right…” You wave goodbye before heading back into the house, shutting the door and taking a deep breath. The rest of the day is spent relaxing. You take a bath after dinner and drink a glass of wine, enjoying having some time to yourself.
.
A little after 11, Taehyung arrives back at home. You look up to see his eyes are puffy as he walks through the door.
“Aw, Tae…” You whisper sympathetically.
“I’m fine.” He shakes his head. “I just… I didn’t realize how hard it would be to say goodbye.” He admits, flopping on the couch next to you.
“How did he take it?”
“Pretty well honestly. I mean, I feel like if anyone understands what’s happening, it’s him.”
“That makes sense.”
“He is, however, very excited to possibly live with you.” Taehyung chuckles, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “He really adores you, you know that?”
“The feeling’s mutual.” You assure him, smiling lovingly at him.
“I’m so glad I met you.” Taehyung whispers, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“Me too Tae.” You sink into his embrace, his arms warm as they wrap around you. The two of you sit like this for a while, enjoying the feeling of being together for what could be the last time, until you have to ruin it, of course. You sit up and grab the folder from Sooyoung, handing it to Taehyung.
“What’s this?” He asks, opening it to sift through the contents.
“Those documents we talked about… You should sign them before tomorrow.”
“Right, okay.” Taehyung nods, standing and walking over to the table to find a pen. You follow him, sitting next to him and helping as he works his way through it, pointing out all the places he needs to sign and initial. When he’s done, he turns to the second document and then looks up at you. “Is this just a copy?”
You quickly move to shut it inside the folder, you should’ve taken it out before giving the other one to him. “T-that’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” You try to shake him off, but Taehyung holds the document out of reach and reads the beginning of it.
“Transfer of estate in case of… Y/N, what is this?”
“It’s just a precaution.”
“A precaution to what?” He asks, his eyes wide with worry.
You sigh. “I just… If anything ever happens to me I want you guys to be taken care of.”
“What’s going to happen to you?”
“Nothing!” You blurt a bit too quickly. “I mean, I don't know, things happen all the time.”
“Y/N…”
“I… I can’t tell you. You’ll think I’m crazy. Just trust me. It’s a safeguard, okay? Just in case.”
Taehyung puts the document down and takes your hands in his. “Nothing you ever say would make me think you’re crazy.”
You scoff. “You have no idea.”
“Then tell me.”
The way he looks at you, it makes your heart hurt. Do you want to just leave him hanging like you did Jeongguk? You don’t think you could ever do that to another person. Jeongguk gave up his life to search for you, and you know Taehyung is the kind of person to do the same, but can you really tell him your secret? Two people in the same timeline knowing what happens to you, is that too many? Can you risk it? You don’t know what the rules are… Or if there even are any rules.
“Wait here.” You mumble, standing.
“Y/N-” He tries to grab your arm, thinking he upset you, but you hold up your hand.
“Just… Just wait here.”
You walk back into the bedroom, digging through your things until you find what you’re searching for in the bottom of your bag; a photo album, a wooden box, and a book. You return to the kitchen, setting the things on the table as you take your seat next to Taehyung. He eyes the items curiously, but waits patiently for you to explain.
You gather your thoughts, trying to find the best way to phrase everything before you begin. You explain the first time it happened to you, how it was the weirdest deja vu feeling, and how it changed after that, longer jumps, stranger jumps, putting you in places and times you never thought possible, until your last jump. You explain your time with Jeongguk, and everything that happened to you up until now.
“At any point I could disappear, just like I do every time. The haze will happen and I’ll be gone.”
“So, wait… You jump through time?” He doesn’t believe you. He can’t believe you. Not without proof. You grab the book off the table and slide the bookmark out of its place, handing it to Taehyung. He stares down at the picture of you and Jeongguk, studying it closely until his eyes go wide. “Your ring.” He mutters, more to himself than you as he looks up at your neck, seeing the very same ring dangling from its chain around your throat.
Your fingers automatically fiddle with the jewelry in question as you open the photo album, showing Taehyung more pictures of your previous life with Jeongguk. He takes it all in, watching in silence as you explain things to him. When you’re finished, he’s quiet for a long time, mulling it all over in his head until he finally speaks.
“When you cancelled for a family emergency, that was…?”
You nod. “I had just arrived here, and I… I needed to find him.”
“And he’s…”
“He’s gone.” You smile bittersweetly. “Cancer, ironically enough.”
Taehyung lets out a half-hearted chuckle before he nods in understanding. “I believe you.”
Your eyes go wide at this. “R-really?”
“Of course.”
You breathe out a huge sigh of relief, your head falling forward into your hands. “Thank you.” You whisper.
Taehyung doesn’t answer, as if he knows the thanks weren’t entirely meant for him, but for someone else, something else. Instead, he simply grabs your arms and pulls you up with him, tugging you into the bedroom and laying on the bed next to you, wrapping you tightly in his arms for comfort.
“Tae if anything happens to me, I need you to take the things I showed you and give them to Jin. Tell him to put them in my safety deposit box, he’ll know where it is.”
“Okay.”
“I love you, Kim Taehyung.”
“I love you.” He breathes in your ear as you both drift off.
.
When you wake up the next day, the sun is streaming in through the blinds and you quickly realize that Taehyung is not beside you. You bolt upright and scramble for your phone, checking it to see the time. 11:13 am. Taehyung’s surgery started at 8 am. You fling the covers off your body, throwing on some pants and a shirt before grabbing your purse, a mask, and a hat, and heading directly to the hospital.
When you arrive, you immediately go to the surgical wing, checking in at the desk to see where he is and following a friendly nurse to the waiting room. You see his name and status flashing on the board across from where you sit: Kim Taehyung, OR. You can’t focus on anything except those three words, completely lost in your own anxious thoughts as you wait for Taehyung.
Waiting…
And waiting…
And waiting…
Kim Taehyung, Recovery.
Your heart pounds in your chest when the board changes, relieved and terrified at the same time. A few minutes later, a doctor walks into the room and calls his name.
“Family of Kim Taehyung?” You quickly stand and walk over, trying to seem as calm on the outside as you can. “Follow me.” He leads you back through the doors he came through and back past several drawn curtains down a long hallway and into a room where you finally see him, wrapped in blankets fast asleep in the bed.
“H-how is he?” You question, your voice cracking as grateful tears well in your eyes.
“He’s going to recover fine from the surgery, it was strictly exploratory.”
“Exploratory? I thought-”
The doctor sighs. “It was bigger than we thought. There’s no safe way for us to remove the tumor. It’s grown around one of the chambers of his heart. If we tried to remove it…” The doctor trails off.
“It would kill him…” You finish for him, scooting your chair closer to Taehyung. “He’ll die either way.”
“I’m sorry ma’am.” The doctor moves to take his leave. “He should wake up soon.”
“Thank you.” And with that, you’re left alone with Taehyung. You sniffle as you grab your phone out of your purse, quickly calling Taewon.
“Hello?”
“Taewonnie! Hey, it’s Y/N.”
“Noona!”
You try to choke back your tears, wanting to assure the boy everything is fine. “I just wanted to let you know that Taehyung is out of surgery and should wake up here in a few minutes.”
“Really?? Yay! Hyungie is okay!”
“I’ll bring him by later, yeah? Let me know if you need anything and I’ll have Jin bring it for you.”
“Okay, thank you noona!”
You hang up the phone and lean your elbows on the side of Taehyung’s bed, silently sobbing to yourself as you look down at his beautiful face. Even with all the money in the world, there are some things that just aren’t possible, and it hurts you to think about. Taehyung and Taewon are as nice and selfless as they come, and yet one of them, if not both of them, will leave this lifetime so soon, whereas you will be here for who knows how long, living a thousand lifetimes, none of which you feel you deserve.
Maybe that’s the whole point.
Maybe it doesn’t matter how many lifetimes you live, or how many things you succeed in. What really matters are the people. People like Taehyung and Taewon, like Jeongguk, and Jin, and Kono and Bitsy and Clara. People that you can make a difference for.
You grab Taehyung’s hand in yours, rubbing it with your thumb as you wait for him to wake up, silently making yourself promise that no matter what happens from now on, no matter where you end up, you’ll force yourself to be a background character. You will only be there to support those who need you, and then you will disappear from their lives, leaving no trace of yourself. And you will not, under any circumstances, fall in love again after Taehyung. You don’t think your heart can take another break.
Taehyung stirs next to you and you feel him squeeze your hand as his eyes flutter open. “Y/N…?” He mumbles, looking around before his gaze finds you and he smiles softly. “There you are.”
“Hi handsome.” You sniffle, kissing his knuckles.
“How mad are you?”
“For leaving without me? I’m already over it.”
“How’d it go?” He asks weakly. You know he already knows, he just wants to hear it.
You shake your head. “Exploratory only.”
“Really?” He sighs.
“Apparently it’s bigger than they thought, and it’s um, it’s wrapped around one of the chambers of your heart, so even if they try to take it out…”
The room goes silent, Taehyung only nodding in understanding before settling back against the pillows. He doesn’t speak much when the nurse comes in to check on him. A few hours later, they allow you to wheel Taehyung up to the private wing with Taewon. You hope it will help cheer him up for a little while at least.
Taewon cheers, greeting his older brother with excitement as you push Taehyung’s bed, aligning him next to Taewon’s. Taewon quickly clambors over to his brother’s bed, rambling about all the things he did while waiting for Taehyung’s procedure to be over. Taehyung smiles softly, nodding along to the things Taewon says, his eyes heavy. You quickly remind Taewon that Taehyung needs to rest, and turn on the tv to turn the younger boy’s attention elsewhere, allowing Taehyung to close his eyes.
You remain at Taehyung’s side, sitting in a chair, resting your forearms on his cot, one of his hands laced with yours. You must doze off at some point, barely waking up when you hear voices.
“No, let her sleep.” It’s Taehyung. “We can tell her when she wakes up.” You feel his hand on your head, brushing your hair out of your face and hum happily as you fall back asleep.
.
The next time you wake up, you’re in a bed. You look around confused, slightly terrified that the haze came in your sleep, until you recognize it as the guest room adjoining Taewon’s. You realize it’s morning as you sit up, adjusting your clothes before walking out to the next room to see Taehyung and Taewon enjoying breakfast together as they watch some show.
“Breakfast without me?” You ask, walking over to the table between them and snagging a piece of toast.
“Hyung said not to wake you!” Taewon explains. “He said you were really sleepy.”
“I guess I was.” You nod. “Um, how exactly…?” You look back towards the room you emerged from before meeting Taehyung’s gaze.
“Jin moved you.” He answers. “He came up to check on you and saw you asleep so I asked him to move you to the bed so you’d be more comfortable.”
“Ah, well thank you.” You smile, sitting down at his side.
“Hyung, can I tell her?” Taewon suddenly bursts. “Please please please?”
“Wonnie, let her at least eat something first.” Taehyung scolds.
You finish your toast and reach for a piece of fruit. “Tell me what?”
Taewon looks to his brother for permission and Taehyung nods. “Go ahead.”
“My last set of scans came back clean! I get to go home!”
Your eyes widen in shock. “Really?”
“I'm in remission!” He cheers.
You look at Taehyung for confirmation. “He comes back for repeat scans in a few weeks, but as of last night, he’s cancer free.”
“Taewon, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you.” You put on a smile, but your heart aches. If he’s truly cured, Taewon’s going to have to live the rest of his life without his brother. Who knows how long Taehyung has left. Why does life have to be so unfair? To survive years of cancer, just for it to take your brother, the only family you have left.
“Noona? Are you okay?” Taewon rips you from your thoughts and you realize a few tears have slipped past your defenses.
“Of course! These are happy tears.” You lie as you wipe them away. “Taehyung, when are they discharging you?” You turn to the blonde.
“Tomorrow morning.” Taehyung states. “Since it was just… You know. I don’t have to stay too long.”
“Tomorrow morning.” You repeat, thrilled at the prospect of returning to a normal life for as long as you can have it.
The rest of the day is spent relaxing, the three of you spending time together, filling your heart with warm memories. Taewon falls asleep early and you tuck him in, turning down the tv volume before Taehyung pats the bed next to him. You smile, sliding onto the cot and curling up next to Taehyung in the small space.
“I can’t believe things are finally going to be back to normal.” Taehyung whispers into your hair, pulling you close.
“But for how long?” You ask, looking up at him.
“Let’s not think about that right now.” Taehyung chides. “Let’s just be here. Together.” He leans down and presses a soft kiss to your lips, smiling against your mouth.
“Tae,” You return his smile, tears slipping down your cheeks. There’s so much you want to say to him, so much you want to tell him…
But it’s too late.
You’re too late.
Before you can see anything, you feel it begin, dancing around the edges of your mind.
The haze.
It’s here to sweep you away.
“No, please. Not now.” Your voice is panicked as you sit up and Taehyung immediately catches on, alerted by your tone. “I’m not done!”
“Y/N, your eyes…” His own gaze widens in fear. “T-they’re white. Are you okay?”
You huff in frustration as you see it begin to creep in on the edges of your vision. You try to blink back your tears, moving your hand over Taehyung’s where it rests on your cheek, placing a kiss against his palm. “Thank you for everything Taehyung. I’m so sorry. Take care of Taewonnie.”
Realization dawns on his expression. “N-now? No, Y/N you can’t go now.” He tries to sit up, but the pain from his incision stops him from reaching for you.
“Taehyung, I love you…” Your field of vision gets smaller and smaller, your limbs growing weak from the sensation.
“No, please. I love you… Y/N, I love you!”
It’s the last thing you hear before everything goes black.
Opening your eyes, you're greeted with an unfamiliar sight and though it hurts, you know Taehyung is long gone.
Copyright © Inkjam-Moon 2025
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Masterpost
Note: I will be updating my future work in Navigation.
Do NOT repost any of my work!
Original pictures are not mine, I only edited them.
Work in progress
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«3+1=?»
(Discontinued)
Serieslist
Genre: fluff, angst, smut, strangers to lovers, single parent AU
Summary: life has been cruel to them. Heartbroken and sad when they stumbled towards each other. Will they be able to heal their heart?
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«But the day isn't over, yet»
Genre: Fluff
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Work in progress
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Work in progress
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Work in progress
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«Not all doors are closed»
Genre: angst, fluff
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«Ding Dong»
Genre: implied smut, stupidity
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«A dream is a wish our heart makes»
Genre: angsty, fluffy, no romantic partner
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«Someone Out There»
(Ongoing…) (paused)
Serieslist
Genre: angst, fluff, smut, neighbour au, hybrid au.
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«Bloody Love»
(Ongoing…)
Serieslist
Genre: angst, smut, yandere, gore, dark romance, horror, creepy (dark fantasy).
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«You have you»
Genre: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, strangers to lovers, non-idol au.
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«Skirt»
Genre: smut.
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«Peach»
Genre: smut, angst, fluff, forbidden au, uni au.
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«Foto»
Genre: fluff, smut, angst, influencer au.
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«Angry F*$?»
Genre: smut.
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Tae and yeontan 💜🐶
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pjm | high school sweethearts (m.)
Words: 18.4k Genres: high school!au, f2l, never been kissed!au, a lil bit of 2000's movie angst :) Warnings: defloration, fingering, dry humping, a smidge of dirty talk, oral (f&m), teenagers being hormonal what else would this be :( Rating: 18+ Playlist: ♡
Summary: You are not one to believe in high school romance nor any kind of romance at all. Your world is turned upside down when you had to write about falling in love in high school. Having no experience, good thing your best pal Jimin came to the rescue. He's about to show you what falling in love is like through his broken perspective after his girlfriend just broke up with him.
The school cafeteria stretches before you. Chattering getting louder every second as more students join in the next table, your eyes peered at Yoongi, the President of the School Publication, who had just told you the feature's deadline. You were killing him inside your mind, butchering his insides, God you just want him to get kicked out of the school.
Exams are in a week and you did little to no effort in prepping for it, it was driving you nuts. But the cafeteria's coleslaw drove you even madder, its stupid taste lingered in your mouth even after you just took another chug of your second box of milk. You made a note to yourself to never get coleslaw ever again, no matter how convincing Jungkook's smiles were, though there's no denying that the lunch lady's son has somehow crept into your heart.
"Candid!" Jimin appears behind you, his camera flashing your eyes when he takes a candid shot of your face. You slap him on the shoulder before he could sit down beside you. "Do you have a crush on Yoongi?" His eyes scan the unfinished coleslaw on your table, his smile turning into pure disgust.
"What? No! He's just ruining my week," you reply after releasing a huff.
You tear your gaze away from Yoongi before his laughing figure would notice. Jimin giggles at the picture he had just taken. If Jimin didn't have a hundred pictures of your unreserved face, maybe you would have cared. Still, your eyes burned at the sight of your face in his camera.
"What made you sit with me today?" you ask, your eyes not traveling to his face but rather focused on everywhere else except for him and Yoongi.
His breathing was a little ragged, but enough to make your ears notice. He was breathing through his mouth, you could tell. You were that observant of Jimin. Your hand picks up the tiny box of milk, taking another sip from it while you wait for Jimin's answer. He was busy on his camera, then you heard a sniff.
"Seulgi broke up with me," he sniffs again, then he laughs in a croaky way. His voice was usually high, like an optimistic kind. Hearing Jimin's voice always sent you a jolt of happiness, hearing his voice crack made your knees wobble.
You were positive they'll get back together again like the other high school couples, it's their routine that you've gotten used to. It would only take a week before you see them smooching in the locker room again, or maybe eating each other's face in front of you. You wait for an explanation before you could ask, giving him silence so he could proceed with his sentiment.
"She was tired of me. She couldn't see a future with me," he began and forced a small snicker, one you could immediately tell was fake. "I was going to follow her to college. Good thing, I haven't."
You admit, your heart recedes at his tone. Though you've never received such words yourself, being told you're tiring would sure tear anyone's heart apart. And wanting a future with someone with no reciprocation sounded mean. You couldn't search for the right words on how hurt he looked beneath those eyes, you weren't one to have experience in any of the pain he's going through.
You place a hand on his back, a shaky motion vibrated against your palm. You could feel how hard he was trying to suppress all the tears inside him, he was afraid you would laugh. You pat him softly on his cotton jacket, scared to make the situation worse by saying the wrong thing. He took your silence as comfort, needing no words from you to make him feel better. He sniffs again.
"What was she tired of?" Jimin knew that asking you wouldn't bring actual answers, he needed those from Seulgi. But it was you beside him, not Seulgi, so he confides. "It can't be my dick," he laughs, which you returned.
"How sure are you?" Your forehead wrinkled as your brows knot together, a grin forming on your lips.
"A hundred percent, solid. It's probably my snoring, isn't it?" His stare leaves the camera, which had shut down moments ago, taking the courage to look at you who never looked more concern through the small smile you were showing.
"I've never heard you snore, but yeah. I guess so. I don't really follow the relationship you both have."
"Had," he corrects, and then released a nasal huff.
Through his burning face, he was still perfect in every way. His hair lays flat on top of his head, parted in the middle. His bottom lip bitten. His nose scrunches trying to sniff, then he brings the back of his hand to cover the lower part of his face. Your lips curved when he laughed at himself.
"Can we go? I just... I feel like she's on the way here and I don't really want to see her laugh with her friends," he said, nose blocking him from speaking properly.
Seulgi stands by the entrance, searching the cafeteria and when she spots Jimin, she pulls her friend to the counter. This didn't go unnoticed by Jimin, he pulls you harshly out of panic. You've never seen him so frustrated, it was funny.
"Dude, Jimin, what the fuck?" Your bag was open and as he tried to pull you away, your notes dropped on the floor, revealing all your drafts for the feature.
Jimin squats on the floor, examining your written works. The panic passes onto you, his face turned into a frown.
What could he have read?
"Jesus christ y/n, who broke your heart? These are so pessimistic," his hand ravishes on the crumpled paper, reading essays of a hundred words. You somehow regret not throwing those in the trash the moment you finished them.
"Can I just-" He stops your hand from reaching the papers, stretching his other hand away from you.
"This is not what 'falling in love in high school' is like! You're not following the topic given!" he yells, but a glint of happiness spreads across his face. He finds some sort of amusement from your reaction.
"You don't get it, Jimin. You only have to take pictures of couples, I have to write about them! It's not as easy as you think!"
Jimin was also a part of the school publication. He was mostly praised for his average photos, you've told him many times how they're not at all impressive. But he was a popular and good-looking student, everything he does will be adored by many. As opposed to you, who have only written one successful work throughout four years of being in the same page with him. High school will always be that way.
"Whatever. Your works won't make it to the paper if you keep them this way," he says with a stronger voice, a restrain on his throat from earlier brushing away.
"Can you just give them to me?" You reach for his other hand, but his hand on your shoulder kept you away from him. His strong scent burns your nose, but you didn't care even if you felt how hot his skin was. You only pushed yourself further, desperate to get the drafts.
"No, no," he clicks his tongue, "gotta tell me who's this ex of yours first." He waved his eyebrows and your shoulders slumped.
"I don't have an ex-boyfriend. There, you happy?" you declare under a small tone.
He inches his face to yours, and you pulled away when you felt him breathe against your lips. "No shit, y/n. Why the pessimism then?" He was trying to get a rise out of you and you are almost giving in. He reads them again but this time you give up, you couldn't stand his perfume any longer.
"I hate highschool couples. They act like everything is about relationships, even going to college together. Ew." You raise a brow, cocking your head towards him as you cross your arms on your chest.
"Fuck off. You just don't get it." He folds the torn pieces of paper, placing them in his pockets.
"Hey, give that to me!" You try to reach again, but he got a hold of your hand and you soften.
"They suck. I don't want Yoongi to read them, he'll probably judge the shit out of you."
"Why do you care? I take criticism."
"Yeah, and you're gonna get it from me," he says without a lot of consideration. So much of smiling caused his face to lose its puffiness, eyes losing a little bit of their shine.
"I don't need a photographer judging my work. Give them back!"
"Shush." He waves his index finger in front of your face.
You slap his hand away, thinning your lips and giving in to whatever Jimin was trying to do. "What are you gonna do with them?"
"I'll change them," he tilts his head before grabbing you to exit the cafeteria, the hallway rolls before the both of your feet and Jimin only puts his arm around you, "because that's what good friends do."
"For your entertainment, fine. Change it however you'd like, hell you can even put Seulgi's name as the title, I don't care. My idea of high school romance will remain the same!"
"I love Seulgi, alright? It's true, I felt it. Just because we are young doesn't mean our emotions are invalid."
"That's not my point, Jimin. All I'm trying to say is there's not a single record of relationships making it out of high school. It ends in high school and that's it."
His grip on your shoulder loosens and he turns to face you, your eyes remained on the walk ahead. Again, the smell of his perfume irritates your nose, you breathe shortly to avoid it.
"My parents met in highschool, you know that," he argues.
"But their relationship didn't start in highschool, you also know that."
He releases a breath of defeat, but he continued with his debate. "Regardless, high school romance is real. You've never had a crush before?"
"I've had crushes, Jimin. But they're crushes, nothing ever led to 'love'," your tone curved by the end of your sentence, hating the word.
Jimin was aware of your crushing habit, and he knew about each of them. Jungkook from the cafeteria, Seokjin who used to be a senior in the school, and Mr. Kim Namjoon of Biology class. He never missed a single one, but there's one you've never admitted to Jimin. Which was your tiny feelings for him. But you find no use of telling him since it only lasted a month, then he became this jackass friend of yours and you never wished for it change. He has been an amazing friend and everything was platonic between the both of you, he was the only boy you could look in the eyes without feeling insecure.
"Infatuation is the start of everything, dumbass."
"I don't want any of it," you reply and Jimin takes a hold of your arm when you tried to enter your class.
"Wait, I have a proposal." Your hand holds a strap of your bag, slouching in front of him. You turn to him again, brows rising to let him continue.
He takes a few moments before talking again, his adam's apple bobbed slowly as he takes the courage. Your eyes narrowed at his figure, trying to analyze his thoughts faster than he could. Jimin can get unpredictable sometimes, a kind you can't read. It's unfair he could read you like a book, a book he knows all too well.
"What if I make you fall in love?"
Your eyes widen, pulling away from him harshly, just enough to make him feel your rejection to his proposal. He can't be serious, and he can't be this horrible to use you as a rebound for Seulgi.
You as a pawn? No way!
You're not letting Jimin make your last year of high school dramatic with Seulgi's friends judging you by the hallway when you walk past them with Jimin's hand in your back pocket. No, that's not gonna happen.
"Are you insane? What's wro-"
"No, not with me. I phrased it wrong. I meant what if I make you feel like falling in love. You can't just keep denying emotions all through out highschool."
You weren't denying anything. You have a belief, a belief that no relationship in highschool ever lasts.
"Why do you want to prove me wrong so bad? Can't you just let me be?" your tone loomed over him. Anger took over your voice when you didn't mean it, so you looked at him in a stern way to let him know you weren't mad, just confused.
"I want you to know that I am in love with Seulgi. And your opinion is wrong, people fall in love during highschool."
"Jimin, I get it! You're in love with Seulgi, I don't care. Blah blah blah, love is relevant for you. Now get over it."
Both of you were standing before the door to Biology class, it looked stupid. Your classmates are starting to look at you funny, gossiping before entering the room behind you. You take your attention away from it and focused on Jimin's argument and hand which was still wrapped around your arm, he doesn't seem to notice how sweaty his palms are.
"No, you obviously don't get it. You're taking my emotion as a joke."
Why was he getting so worked up with my statement?
"Fine," you surrender. "What is falling in love like?"
Mr. Kim — or Mr. Joonie as you like to call him, appears behind Jimin, his height hovering over your friend. He nods at you and says "You have five minutes" before entering the almost rowdy class. You catch your favorite musky smell when he made his way behind you.
"I'll come by" was Jimin's last response before he vanished from the empty hallway, your mind not comprehending his reply.
Come by what? Where?
Whatever it was, you tried to pushed it to the back of your mind and failed. Biology was interesting, Mr. Joonie was wearing your favorite black and blue striped tie paired with his thin white long sleeves shirt. He discussed further about DNA base pairs which you fell behind on when your brain decides to bring back Jimin's last words.
You tried to bring your ears on Mr. Joonie's lesson, but your mind could only pull away. Screw Jimin for ruining this class for you, distraction was the last thing you needed this month and here comes your infatuated friend to fuck everything up. But it wasn't his idea that made you think, it's your reaction to his idea that caught your attention. You were too defensive earlier, but you guessed it's the right thing to do. However, you can only overthink.
Jimin's proposal was garbage, in what way would it possibly help you?
Falling in love? That's overrated, your mind is set for your one and only goal and that is graduating from this hellhole of hormonal teenagers seeking for love.
Jeez, you sounded like an old lady, but you know it's the truth. Falling in love leads to nothing but a disaster and worst case scenario: baby, which is not part of the high school bucket list you've made for your graduating year. Thanks to your hormones, they weren't as wild as the other teens.
Biology was quicker than you expected. Well, you spent the whole time looking out the window and wondering what the fuck Jimin meant. Lucky for you, Mr. Joonie never paid attention to you to even notice you weren't paying attention to him.
When you finished your Spanish class — your last period, you never caught Jimin in the hallway. Which you wouldn't have expected from what he had said, but you were only left disappointed. You guessed he went after Seulgi to give her the talk. You head home quickly, preparing to study the whole night. You cringe at the idea, already missing the feeling of the living room's sofa while binge-watching 80's sci-fi movies.
He probably forgot already, you tell yourself while flipping through the dull pages of your notebook. A tinge of small dismay tugs at your stomach, you shouldn't have expected too much from a friend like him. You left the thought as you push the first paragraph of your reviewer into your mind, it was ineffective. You only longed for something else, maybe it was food.
You leave your cold room, tiptoeing towards the kitchen downstairs. Your tummy jumps when you saw the cookie jar full. A neon green sticky note beside it reads "clean the house. - mom <3"
You roll your eyes, ignoring the note and opening the glass of sweets. The doorbell rings before your fingers could make contact with the cookies, annoyance builds inside you.
I swear, if this isn't the dress I ordered online. Your pj's drag along the floor as you reach for the door, and a sweaty Jimin stands in front of you. You close your eyes out of embarrassment, regretting that you didn't check the peephole first. You stand in your loose black shirt that barely hangs on your left shoulder, revealing the strap of your bra.
"Wow, you look awful," Jimin narrows his eyes, meticulously scanning your appearance. Your bra strap was only a part of your horrible get up.
"What the hell are you doing here?" you assert, pulling the sleeve of your shirt to cover your exposed skin.
"I said I'd come by remember?" Oh, that's what he meant. "Sorry, I took long. Taehyung called for a meeting for the Curious Minds Club."
Of course, the Curious Minds Club, possibly the worst name for a science club. Jimin loved that name so much, he would always mention it in its entirety. It was his and Taehyung's idea, which you opposed when he asked for your opinion. He reasoned that you never cared about science anyway so you had no right to oppose him, which was stupid 'cause he asked for an opinion in the first place.
"You know what, it's a good thing you and Taehyung are graduating this year so juniors could rename that stupid club."
He walks past you and throws his bag on the floor before laying on the couch, not needing an invitation from you. "Why do you always have to hate my ideas? Just agree for once, Curious Minds is a legendary name."
You shut the door, heading back to the kitchen and finally getting your hands on the cookies. You moan in satisfaction, its taste exploding on your tongue. Jimin spins his head to you.
"Did your Mom make those?"
You nod, bringing the whole jar to him.You let the couch eat you, completely forgetting the reviewer waiting for you in your room. Jimin takes a bite and you absorbed his reaction, similar to yours.
"What are you gonna tell me?" you start.
Jimin's face lit up. "Right, almost forgot about that."
You sat a foot away from him, keeping distance from his nauseating perfume. Your legs cross in front of you, Jimin's arm spreads on top of the sofa right above you.
"So, you've never been in a relationship, right?" Not this again.
You nod, taking another soft cookie.
"I read your drafts during English class, and I gotta say y/n," you stare at him in anticipation, "you suck."
"You're gonna come over to my house, eat my Mom's cookies, and then roast me?! Fuck you, Jimin."
He laughs. "I'm kidding. You filled that paper with passion of hatred towards highschool couples, I started hating them as well," he explains.
"You're one of those couples, dummy. I actually took inspiration from you and Seulgi."
"I thought you don't follow our relationship?" he asks, his head cocking to your direction.
"I heard enough from you throughout the course of six months. Seulgi this, Seulgi that. Seulgi's being complicated, Seulgi's so cute when she burps. Seulgi's being too friendly with Taeyong, oh nevermind, Seulgi just said she loves me," you imitate his irritating ranting from the past, which you wish you would never receive anymore. Expecting an exasperated expression, you were surprised to see Jimin smiling at you.
"I thought you weren't listening all those times."
"Sadly, I was and I shouldn't have."
"The Taeyong part is still true, though," he extends the cookie he was holding forward, trying to pinpoint, "I saw them before dismissal."
"Look at you, all sad and sentimental. Cute li'l Jimin stalking his ex-girlfriend. Awe, how tragic," you vexed, pouting at the obviously annoyed boy.
"I wasn't stalking. I just saw them."
"Poor guy getting his heart broken in the hallway, poor Chimchim. How is he gonna move on now?"
"Quit it," sneered Jimin, indulging on his cookie.
He was still affected, it happened only a few hours ago, he won't be moving on too quickly. Seulgi's laugh is still fresh in his memory, and he could hear it vividly. He could still feel his stomach drop when he thinks of her. His world crumbling into pieces, like the cookie at the bottom of the jar, whenever he's reminded of how her eyes disappear when she smiles much like his — eyes forming intro wrinkly crescents. You felt as if you went below the belt when he became quiet, an uncomfortable silence sitting in the gap between the both of you.
"Back to my proposal," he breaks, "it would really change your writing."
You face pulled together in a center. "How can you say so, Mr. Photographer?"
He inches closer, but his smell was weaker, it was bearable. "Just like what the late Benjamin Franklin had said, 'either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.'"
Your lungs deflate, narrowed eyes processing him. "And what does that have to do with my writing? I wrote something worth reading," you proudly announce.
"No, you're writing your own opinion on a feature. When I read it, I felt like going nowhere. I didn't feel like going back to high school. I felt like I'm in the same place, there's nothing that opened in me," he explains, his words tightening your own throat. "The topic is falling in love in high school, but all I ever felt was hatred."
He pulled a chord in you. He was actually right. Your body falls on the couch, groaning out of frustration.
"What you wrote isn't worth reading, but-" he slouches on the couch and faces you, "you can do something worth writing."
Your cheek sinks on the couch, glaring at Jimin who never looked more passionate about helping you. Break ups do things to people, really.
"And what's that exactly?"
"I know you've never fallen in love in high school, so I'm gonna let you experience what people in love do."
"That doesn't sound like a good idea. I don't want to get messy with Seulgi." The cold leather against your cheeks didn't stop them to burn.
"No, y/n, we're not gonna date. Just trust me on this one, okay?" he convinces and you give in, finding no sense in arguing about a stupid subject
"Just don't do anything weird. I don't really get the gist of your plan."
"What are things that couples do?"
"Aside from making out and having sex at a party? I don't know," you say, his face not impressed.
"I really hate you right now. That's not what we do-"
"Did," you correct, a smile forming on your lips. His frown only worsens from the continuous mocking that you were doing. "Go on, what else did you do?"
His eyes rolled. "Dates. Have you ever been on dates?"
Of course, you have. Family dates count as real dates. That coffee date you had with Sana last Thursday counts, right?
And so, without further arguments within you, you decided to turn down Jimin's dumb idea. Who is he to make fun of you for not going to dates often? You were about to tell him that he's not an inch entitled to show you what a date feels like.
Unreasonably anxious, you tug your skirt down as a small swirl of wind hits on your thin skin. Jimin waves from the bench, standing up to analyze what you wore. You weren't supposed to feel your stomach fall when you finally came to face him, but you did. A tiny voice doubted your outfit choice, and a tiny voice told you how good he looked. Satisfaction fills your wandering mind, you were scared you'd come overdressed with your white puff sleeves.
There was a short amount of silence that gave you enough time to admire him. His Canon camera hangs around his neck, it was the first thing you noticed. He stands there in his skin-tight black pair of ripped jeans, and topped with a thick mustard hoodie. His cute yellow sneakers popped out from the gray cemented ground. Your nose tickled when his scent enters.
"Sorry" was all you could say.
He grins gently, eyes disappearing. "You're about thirty minutes late."
If you didn't spend minutes arguing with yourself about what to wear, you would've arrived sooner. But here you are, still regretting the choice you made. His bright fashion didn't complement your pale vintage look, not that it mattered to him, but you grew conscious.
"Where are you taking me?" you strengthen your voice, trying to seem more confident than you really are.
He tucks both of his hands inside his pockets. "Just pretend I'm either Jungkook or Mr. Kim, whoever you wanna go on a date with."
Imagining Jungkook with a sheepish bunny-like smile, your heart starts to melt and it was vivid in your cheeks.
"See, you're already flustering."
"No, I'm not. Get on with your plan." It was obvious but you chose to deny it, Jimin should be the last person on earth to see you flustered. "Where are you taking me?"
"There's a photography exhibit down the street I'd like to take you in. Wanna eat first?"
His eyes can't help but wander around your body, and you'd be blind to not notice what he was doing.
"Is there something wrong with I'm wearing?" The loud children playing by park almost made your voice inaudible.
"Nope, it's amazing. You look beautiful, y/n," his pitch ascends, tweaking your ears.
You diminish your mind from his compliment, it's all an act. You know he's only doing this to make you feel something which what everything is about. You look away from him, distracting yourself with the pigeons nearby, hoping it would stop your blood from rushing to your face. Jimin takes your hand, intertwining it with his soft palm. Your body hitches and he only held on tighter.
"I know a cafe."
You didn't give him an answer to decide, but he was already pulling you towards a corner. It would've been an unbearable silence if you weren't in public. You hoped he would not notice how your skin has gone damp, tensed by the moment his warm soft fingers made contact with yours. Excitement awakens within you, an unfamiliar emotion.
The moment you saw him sitting on the bench waiting for you, it already felt like a poem waiting to be written. You could already write a hundred words just describing how he looked today. It isn't love, it's just attraction.
He opens the entrance to a cafe — you were too distracted to read the name. You lose contact with his hand as he sits by the counter and so did you. A middle-aged woman with a forced grin awaits on the other side of the counter.
"I'd have a chocolate milkshake," you tell Jimin, shyness was completely obvious in your voice.
"Just one chocolate milkshake," Jimin tells the waiter, his gaze focused on you.
Jenna — written on her name tag — gives a forced lift to her cheeks, proceeding to the kitchen behind. You were in the midst of asking him why he only ordered for himself, but you jumped when you hear his camera click, a flash directed towards your way.
"Ugh, what's wrong with you?"
"To make it last longer," Jimin mumbles, you ignore.
You shouldn't have agreed to this. You shouldn't have rejected Sana's offer to review at the library. You shouldn't have let Jimin take control of the day. Because ever since the moment you arrived in your carefully picked clothes, your mind never acted straight. Never in your five years of high school have you ever felt so embarrassed and timid.
Why isn't he talking? Did I look stupid in the last photo? How many chapters could I have reviewed by now if I stayed home?
Jenna slams the glass of chocolate shake on the counter. You and Jimin didn't bother to react, too busy thinking of what exactly is this tension between the both of you. Jimin takes two straws, slowly inserting them on the mushy drink. He leans forward on his elbow rested against the cold edge of the table, facing sidewards to look at you better. You looked cute when you're ignoring his gaze, and for a second, he forgot the hole in his heart. It only felt stronger the moment you side-eyed him.
"What?" you mutter, unaware of your effect on him.
After a small sip, his eyes widened when he gulped. "It's good, c'mon, try it."
His bottom lip glistens, you weren't even sure why you caught that detail on his face. With a scrutinizing look from him, the moment didn't grow comfortable for you. The longer you stayed with him, the harder it is you try to stop your stomach from doing unnecessary turns.
You sigh. This is not gonna get better if you keep acting like a shy high school girl — well, you are a shy high school girl, but that's never the case with Jimin. He was your friend, a very close friend. With a lump swallowed in your throat, you approached the elephant in the room.
"Jimin," you breathe. "This is weird. I don't even kno-"
"I'll stop you there. You're having butterflies in your stomach, aren't you?" He licks his lip, excited to hear your answer.
"No. No, I'm not having butterflies in my stomach." You raise your chin.
He snickers. "You're supposed to feel it, not deny it. You're such an amateur. Your writing's not gonna get better if you keep being subjective. You feel flustered like the other girls in high school on a date, accept it."
He's making sense and you hate it. But at least it has been addressed. He knows what you're feeling and you don't have to keep it a secret. Defeated, you sigh. You regained your composure which you might have lost by the moment he smiled at you at the bench.
"You take Seulgi here often?" Your lips trembled in the slightest way before taking a sip from your straw.
Jimin chokes on his own breath. "What? You're asking about my ex on our date?"
An intense heat builds upon you, beading of sweat forms on your nape. Our date, two words that repeated like a broken vinyl in your head. Maybe it was being numb for years that everything right now starts to feel like everything. It's not the same emotions you feel when you wrote those drafts, it's something else you can't put your tongue on.
You purse your lips, swallowing the cold drink. "What do we even talk about?" you giggle out.
He didn't take any second to think, Jimin already had something in mind. His hand touches the glass of the drink, finger rubbing the small drips of water on its sides. There isn't something that he's doing that you weren't noticing. You're quite aware that he was just as observant as you by the way he hasn't taken his eyes off you since you sat down.
"Why do you write?" He lifts the glass off the table, bringing it close to him and taking a sip while he waits for your answer.
Well, it's a simple reason. It's all you know, it's all you ever do. Your second grade teacher was quite an amazing narrator. You remember closing your eyes to her melodic voice as she describes the dragon's tower: red bricks stand over a thousand pieces, to the sky it went and in the cloud it hid, scared to be found by a knight who wanted nothing but to save it. It was a remnant of your almost forgotten childhood, since then you only wanted to seek more of those words. A flaming desire sparked in you, that is to write a picture.
"You ever had that feeling like flying when you read something? It's so vibrant and you could almost feel it take you places." You bit your lip, eyes closing to pull your words together. "I want people to feel what I feel, what I see, what I know. To get them to react the way I want them to, but learn something I never knew I wrote." You open your eyes to see him deeply absorbed in your explanation. "You probably don't even get it," you sigh.
"No, I totally get it. I understand." He places the drink back to its wet ring-like mark on the table. "That's exactly how I feel about photography. I want people to see the way I view things, my focal point in life. With photography, I can get them to look at things in a specific perspective."
You were unconscious of the smooth smile that grew on your lips. All this time, you thought you knew Jimin well, but this only opened a door to him. For five years, you've always been ignorant of what others do and what others feel. It felt like a waste of years, the only thing you learned about in high school was Sana's love for body sprays and now, Jimin's reason for photography.
Your throat goes dry, not having anything to say. Though you had a lot in mind, how his eyes shined bright when he enthusiastically praised what he loves. Regret screams inside you, how could I let five years pass by so quickly. There was so much to learn and so much to write, it's a disappointment you've only written for essays and Min Yoongi.
You scoot towards the drink, trying to catch the straw with your lips while your eyes are darted on Jimin. Slurping impulsively, you caught Jimin's face turn into a shock.
"Don't finish our drink!" He dives in with you, sipping much more intensely than you.
You slid off to laugh, a small amount of chocolate drapes on your bottom lip but you were fast enough to catch it with your finger. You catch the straw again, trying to compete with Jimin. The proximity between you was the last thing in your mind, you only cared about getting more milkshake than Jimin who seem to fall behind your level.
You slam your fist on the table after finishing the drink and Jimin leans away to laugh, already accepting his lost. "I win!" you cheer, holding the biggest smile.
Jimin cocks his head, stretching out his hand for a handshake. With a graceful pump, he exhales a tired huff from laughing too hard. "I guess that's one thing you're good at," his lips curved, forming a soft wrinkle on his right cheek. "Sucking."
You snort. "You're also good at finishing early." Earning a chuckle from him, your brow raised.
"How would you know? You never tried me."
You inhale silently, not wanting him to be aware of your reaction. What a stupid comeback. He stands from his seat, pulling his black leather wallet from his back pocket.
"Let's split it," you tell him immediately, hand already reaching for your purse.
"Hey, no. This one's on me. I invited you remember?" He was already placing a bill on the table which Jenna quickly approached, leaving a tip for her that made her smile a little different than earlier.
Your skin turns moist as the both of you walk out the cafe, heat raking against your skin. He returns his hand in yours, so casually it felt so real. He's got a hold of your fingers and he does it so well, it didn't feel foreign, like your hand has somehow molded in there and made its home.
You follow his direction, not bothering to speak since you were afraid your words would only fail you. Silence doesn't seem to bother Jimin as much as it bothers you, he only focused on his way to the exhibit and how your hand felt wrapped in his. Not being able to endure it any longer, you dared to speak.
"I'll pay you back, I promise."
His head didn't turn, and his mouth didn't open. Instead, his thumb rubs over yours. It was a movement so subtle, yet electricity bursts under your skin. You drift your focus on your footsteps, refusing to step on a crack making your phase noticeable to Jimin. You fall a little behind from him, but the game you're playing with your feet felt so serious at the moment. Jimin eyes you, then to your feet, figuring out what the hell you were trying to do. Thinning the space between his brows, he pulls you close with a tight grip on your hand.
"We're here," strictly he says.
A narrow door towers in front of you, and Jimin pulls you inside. Like a normal exhibit, walls were white, exaggerating the black and white photos hanging around them. Strangers inside could easily be counted, scattered around every corner of the room.
"They're all by Ash Park, a film photographer," he states, leading you to the left side to showcase the first picture.
In a golden frame, a pale girl bends to play ball with children much shorter than her in an alleyway. Jimin finds interest in your face, clearing his throat to begin his explanation. You ignore the description pasted on the wall beside it, letting Jimin do the work.
"That's in Cuba. That girl there is an actress, not so popular though. She and Ash are very close friends, if not more than that."
Your brows quirked up, lips pouting with the information given. "Bet your ass they are."
He breathes a laugh before walking to the next frame, and you follow.
"Did you go here already?" you asked, arms crossed against your chest and eyes pinned on the picture.
The same girl sits at the end of the bed, winking at the camera. Her hands politely placed on her thighs with legs crossed. Even in a colorless picture, her personality can be vibrantly seen. She was simply beautiful in her lacy dress.
You turn to Jimin who was staring right at you, his head quickly turning to the photo.
"I've been here with Taehyung," he answers. "About the picture, it's the same girl obviously. I think it's exquisitely symmetrical. Just amazing how aesthetic she looked sitting so proper on the bed. She's like the center of everything in that hotel room, I think that's what Ash is on about."
"I love your depiction, it's making me fall in love," you thin your lips, "with the picture, of course."
Jimin huffs. "Just the picture? Look at her, she's beautiful. He's clearly in love with her. I could hear her laugh from this picture, it's making me fall in love with her too."
"What's her name?"
"Jinri."
You've always thought that words are the only thing that can move a person, but Jinri's smile shines through the printed material. In an unexplainable way, you could feel the chemistry built within the photographer and the model, it is way beyond words. Again, Jimin explains another picture and always find yourself so absorbed within his way of interpretation. And aside from that, whenever your eyes look upon him, he already had his on you.
It goes on for a while, then you found your favorite piece. Jinri reading a book while her body rests on the glass of a store's window. Surrounded by a busy street, it seemed scripted. Nonetheless, it was still beautiful.
"This is my favorite," Jimin says.
"No way, I was just debating about that." Your eyes wandered around the picture, trying to pick up more details.
Jimin grins in astonishment. "It reminds me of a specific picture I took back in eighth grade. Do you remember the book fair?"
"Are you kidding? That's where we met."
"Yeah. That's the day I first brought my camera to school. I was playing around with the lens, trying out different stuff, and then I accidentally took a picture of this girl reading a book. And when I looked at it, the camera focused on her and the rest of the crowd was a blur."
"Do I know her?"
Jimin gulps. "No, probably not. From what I heard, she transferred schools the same year. It's my favorite though, I even printed it out."
"Really? Let me se-"
"It's in my Science notebook. I'll show you some other time."
The rest of the day continued, Jimin asking if you wanted to eat again which you wasted no second to say yes to. You eventually found out about Jimin's hatred towards ketchup. And when you got home, unopened books greeted you from your desk. However, regret didn't knock on your door that night, you were only left smiling while highlighting half of the pages.
But you weren't supposed to be thinking of Jimin like that, knowing the fact that you were supposed to imagine Jungkook during that date. It was bothersome that Jungkook never even crossed your mind today.
Sana's menacing eyes scanned you from head to toe, not believing the lie you had just told her. Your words completely stopping her from reviewing the Lush soap in her hand. Placing the glittery soap back to its container, she minimizes the gap between your bodies.
"I know damn well when you're lying, y/n. You did not review with Park Jimin." Your chest heaved at the mention of his name and you hope Sana didn't notice.
But of course, she's much like you. Quite the observant type, that's why she's your best friend. Years of observing and chattering about high school drama in the cafeteria would be useless if she didn't notice that small body language.
Lately, you keep finding yourself in situations you regret going to. Again, you were supposed to be diving deeper into your calculus reviewer, which you failed to finish last night, but to make up for rejecting Sana's offer to review at the library a day ago, you let her drag you to the mall. You wish you can just gauge your eyes out to make it impossible for Sana to read them.
She releases a breath, the mint chocolate ice cream she had from earlier traveling to your nose. "Please tell me you used a condom."
You slap her shoulder, eyes widening while she solemnly awaits your response. "What's wrong with you? That's the last thing on my list." Immediately regretting your last sentence, you shut your eyes tightly. "I mean it's not on my list." Fuck.
"You're risking failing the exams for a date, that's very unlikely of you."
Not wanting to look at her much longer, you drew your eyes to the bath bombs placed on the wooden table, hands skimming through their rough texture.
"We did not date. We had to do our assignments for the school pub," you clarify, emphasizing every word clearly.
Sana's body remains to face you, ignoring her favorite shimmery body products lying on the shelf beside her. "Last time I heard that was on Fifteen and Pregnant. Was it missionary? Come on, tell me the details."
"Holy shit, quit it! I didn't have sex with Jimin!" You heard every head turning to face you, looks of disgust thrown towards your way.
"Oh, really?" A deep voice sneaks behind you, making you place the lavender bath bomb back to its place. Taehyung blinks like a dumbfounded child, contrasting his deep voice from earlier. His height towers over you and Sana who was just as confused as you are.
"Excuse me? Is it normal for nerds to be such a creep all the time?" You felt Sana nod from beside you with her arms crossed on her chest.
"What? I'm not a nerd. You're a nerd," he points to Sana, "you too."
"Why are you here anyway? This is Lush not Gamestop."
His nose crinkled. "Just a quick FYI, there's a difference between geeks and nerds. And I am not any of those." Placing a hand in the middle of his chest, he looks you deeper.
You smirk, turning to Sana. "Nerd."
"Are you buying lotion for your boyfriend? Is that why you're here?" Sana curves a corner of her lips, proud of what she had said.
"No, I'm here to buy wax for your Mom. You got any suggestions?" retaliated Taehyung, cocking a head towards Sana. "I happen to pass by and I heard you talking about fucking Jimin. I was intrigued."
"Ew, no. She was joking," you reply, rolling your eyes to Sana.
"Oh, I know. He wouldn't be talking with Seulgi if you guys did... you know?" He raises a brow, and you furrowed yours, trying to pretend that you don't understand.
The mention of Seulgi's name struck a chord in you. You knew it was physically impossible for your blood to boil, but it's the right way to describe it. Guessing it's only the hatred for Sana and Taehyung teasing you about Jimin, somehow deep inside you were envious of Seulgi. It was probably the reason Jimin was hard to be seen today, and you're not denying that you did expect him to come talk with you.
"He was?" you ask with a tiny voice, unaware that you just said it.
"I saw them during lunchtime, didn't you?" Taehyung replies sternly, having no intention to make fun of your reaction.
"Right. Yeah, I saw them," you lie quickly, biting your lip afterwards.
Sana looks at you from your side, pursing her lips and trying her best to not say the wrong thing. It was her first time to see you unreadable. Your emotions were new and something she's never encountered before throughout years of knowing you. She's only used to comforting you about a failed quiz, or a scolding from Mrs. Cruz when you can't pronounce Desafortunadamente properly. But she can guess it, jealousy and confusion isn't something new to her. However, it's still absurd to see those emotions printed on your face.
Sana ended up buying a strawberry chapstick, and Taehyung had left before you knew it. She insists to take you home for unknown reasons, it was unusual of her to do so. And you throw yourself on the bed, still with your hot sweater on, careless if you start to smell or not.
You push your head onto the soft fabric of your pillow, trying to take your mind off of your reviewer and the unresolved teenage drama, ew. Now all of your actions are revealing their consequences, your mind falling into a pit of regret. Your crush on Jimin can't come back now, not before the exam at least. You have no strength to fight all that emotions, you should only have one thing in your head and it should be Chapter 8: DNA Base Pairs.
Screaming into the pillow, your Dad comes walking to your door, knocking passively and asking if you were doing okay which you stuttered a yes to. You release an exasperated sigh when you hear him walk back downstairs, continuing his favorite ESPN show.
You would think that a long exhausting day would actually exhaust you, but for some dumb reason, you got up from your bed and sat behind your desk. With a palpitating heart, your eyes wander around the messy table, looking for some sort of entertainment.
I should sleep, like right now. It was a school night, and staying up to decide whether to watch a RomCom movie or to write stresses you more than it should. For the mean time, fuck DNA Base Pairs and calculus, life is now and you're watching 50 First Dates for the seventh time.
The light emitting from the crevice below your door and the floor dims down a few moments ago, and your Dad was no longer cheering for a Christiano Ronaldo rerun. The night has gone quicker than you thought, it was already twelve o'clock sharp, and your eyes are not weighing down at least one bit. They remain full and in awe whenever Drew Barrymore is shown on screen.
Your jump out of your skin when you heard a soft clonk from outside your window, thinking it would just be a twig falling down a tree, you ignore. But they continued for three more times, and twigs falling down during a serene quiet night would be strange. If it was windy outside, you would've heard its gush.
You pause the movie on your laptop screen, waiting for another sound. And then you heard three more knocks. Your head follows the sound. You've never felt more overly excited in your life, stomach jumping in anticipation.
Jimin smiles through the window, relieved that you haven't gone deaf. He waves, then points towards the lock on your window. You nod, hopping out of your seat to unlock it. You hear him sigh, throwing his bag inside your room.
"What are you doing here? Did you get in trouble?"
Jimin's petite body slides right in with no problem, huffing in front of you after his success. He looks to your door then back at you, sweat rolling against the frame of his face.
"You wanna wake your parents? Can you chill for a sec," he whispers, walking towards the end of your bed and dropping on the floor.
While you were busy struggling to pull down the window, Jimin drags his bag to get his camera. Before you could flop beside him, the camera flashes your face. Your lips remain thin, too lazy to react. Scratching the back of your ear, you sit beside him.
"Seriously, how'd you get here in the middle of the night?" you ask, hugging your legs while your fingers tug on the fabric of your jeans.
Jimin spreads his legs, slouching on the wood behind him. He turns the camera off before seeing the picture, his focus already on you. "I stole my brother's car."
"And for what reason?"
"I can't sleep," his head hits the hard material as he turns to see you closer and you cringed for him, "I didn't see you at school today, why's that?"
"Sana dragged me to the mall right after my Spanish class. As for lunch break, I finished my Social Studies essay in the library."
"You could have told me at least. I was waiting for you during lunch."
"No, you weren't," you say quickly, "you were with Seulgi."
Jimin's head rises from its comfort, tilting in confusion. "Why would I be with her?"
You gulp, preparing to say the next lines without jealousy interfering in them. "Taehyung told me so. I ran to him at the mall."
He laughs, making you nervous. His head falls back again, bringing his hand on his stomach. "He probably saw us in the hallway. I did talk to her."
You bit your lip, confused why you expected a different answer from him. Your emotions remain unsolved.
"She wanted to get her bracelet back. She left it in my room before we broke up, but that's about it."
Contentment calms your nerve. He leans closer, and his familiar scent once again enters your nostrils, you exhale it away. "So, I came here uh... I feel like I needed someone to talk to."
"Taehyung's a choice," you reply, closing your eyes to lessen the excitement.
"His parents are actually going through a divorce right now, I don't want to add to his problems," he lets go of a long sigh, body falling to your side.
You lean backwards to make him feel more comfortable, watching his eyes close gently. "You should be there for him," you suggest in a soft tone.
"When I saw her earlier, I didn't want to approach her. I was confused when she walked to me," he said, disregarding your reply. "I feel guilty. I feel like I shouldn't be over her so quickly, I mean... I'm not over her, it's just that I feel better than how she's doing."
You listen to the sound of his calm breathing, and his hoarse voice that tried its best to get lower than it already is.
"When I talked about following her to college, I only said it to feel like I'm doing what I should as her boyfriend. I've always felt obligated around her and that's not how it should go. I love her but it's not the kind of love where everything falls into place." Jimin groans, lifting his body off you.
He ruffles his hair, bending his legs upwards to hug them, copying your position.
"I know it sounded like I'm seeking for perfect love, I'm not. I know relationships have their struggles, but my love for her isn't strong enough to keep it going. She broke up with me, but I feel like I was just waiting for her to."
"You children are so in love with the word 'love'." You dig your chin in between your knees.
"Y/n, it's love whether it's weak or strong. It's love for what I knew love to be. But I love her in a way I couldn't do things for myself, not that she forced me to, I just felt obligated to do so."
"Then don't do it. She'll still love you back even if you don't follow her to college."
"Do I sound stupid?"
You lift your chin to look at him, his eyes already angled towards you. "Honestly? Not really. You're in the midst of things, you can laugh about it later if it's stupid, but it's how you feel and you shouldn't be ashamed of it."
"Exactly, so why are you hating on high school romance again?"
You laugh. "I might need a little more convincing from you."
Your response was what he wanted to hear. There's more comfort in your hand and he realized that the moment he have let go of it during the day at the exhibition. He wants to do this with you, more than ever.
"Do you want to get some KFC?" he asks.
"Are you kidding? It's 12AM!"
"Do stomachs close when it's midnight? Come on, I'm really craving for some zinger right now. And we'll be back before your parents even know it," he insists. "Do something adventurous for once, high school is ending and all you can tell your grandkids about it is homework."
You roll your eyes. "I really can't," smacking your lips, "say no to that."
Jimin wastes no time in pulling you towards the window, but you shake his hand off to take your dirty sweater off, revealing your sky blue smocked bodice cami top. Jimin ravels his eyes on your body, a lump forming inside his throat.
"Move," you tease, pushing him towards the window. Thank God, it was humid outside, you wouldn't have survived with just a sleeveless top.
The next thing you know, Jimin was singing at the top of his lungs to What Lovers Do and with such a falsetto voice, you sang along as well. Looking to your side was when you realized how great the city lights compliment Jimin's smile, and everything felt so fixed, you weren't worried about getting caught nor falling asleep in class tomorrow, it just felt so right and perfect.
This was something based on novels you read as a middle schooler, and you were foolish to never believe in any of it. Some quotes start to make sense, everything was a hazy dream and no words can ever define how extraordinary Jimin's eyes looked as they twinkle inside the dark vehicle.
Jimin had no other thoughts than enjoying the moment with you, in this year is where it all ends and everything starts. Graduation was nearing and the only thing making perfect sense for him was that soft beam you have while you bob your head to the beat. Bokeh was something that he only sees in pictures, but he dies right the moment you smiled at him and you were surrounded by them.
He makes a turn, almost forgetting that you were here to eat with him. As soon as the both of you arrive inside, Jimin runs to the counter to place the orders.
You sit near the entrance, chin resting on your palm while you wait for Jimin to finish. The girl in the counter seems to be around your age, and she looks at Jimin with so much happiness in your eyes. You giggle. Jimin leans on the counter, silently talking with the girl to which she keeps responding with a laugh.
Jimin sits across you, setting the food on the table. His hand immediately grabbing his zinger. You watch him take the first bite while you unwrap yours, pretending to be as hungry as he was.
"How do you do that? Flirt all over the place?" You point your sandwich towards Jimin whose cheeks are bulging.
He swallows, eyes shutting to savor the satisfaction. "Oh, I'm not flirting. She was." He turns his head to the girl with a wide smile, then to you. "How do you do that? Hate on something you've never felt nor experienced?"
"Hm," resting your arms on the table, "I don't actually hate it anymore. This thing that we're doing, teaching me what people in love do, it's kinda fascinating."
His gaze alternates to you and his food. "There's more to this. This is what friends do, but what Seulgi and I did was so much more than just this."
You look down, taking a bite to ignore the weird emotion forming inside you.
"I mean what couples do. I know you're pretending I'm Jungkook and that's the thing, friends are great companion but when it's the person you love, time feels faster."
"I'm not actually pretending you're Jungkook," you confess, and you felt him lose his composure but he was quick enough to take it back.
"You seem to smile at me like I'm somebody else."
"I smile at you just fine," you take a sip of the Sprite beside your tray. "Anyways, do you already have something to send Yoongi?"
He nods. "Already took my masterpiece."
You roll your eyes. "Wish I could say the same. Exams are two days from now and I just gave up reviewing."
"I could study with you, I'll come over tomorrow."
"How is that gonna help me review?"
"I'm like the best study buddy ever. Have you written anything yet?"
You huff in disbelief. "No, inspiration's not coming to me."
Jimin moves away, mouth agape. "Y/n, look at me," and you did more than you already were, "I'm all the inspiration you need. Write something about how I smell good or how my eyes look when I talk, girls love to read that shit."
"First of all, you smell like every rotten fruits combined. Second, no. That's not what feature writing is about, I'm not gonna turn it into a John Green novel."
"Turn it into an erotica, let Yoongi jack off to it before rejecting it."
You snort, cheeks turning red. "You think he jerks off to erotica?" you ask in between laughs.
"I did, Fifty Shades of Grey chapter thirty-nine." He leans back, waiting for your reaction. "It was worth a wet page."
"I do not need details. Jimin, what the fuck?"
He raises his brows, chewing on his fries. Eating has never been more attractive. He smirks. "Hurry up eating." Jimin cleans his mouth with a tissue, slamming his fist on the table to rush you.
"Jesus, you wanted me to eat," you reply with your mouth full, crumpling the wrapper to slip it inside the empty cup.
The both of you leaves the place laughing, pushing each other on the way to his car — brother's car in the dark and empty parking lot. It was just the crickets, moderate hums of cars passing by, and your laughs, play fighting with each other. Before the car splits the both of you, Jimin pulls you to remain behind the vehicle.
"What?" He holds your arm in a careful manner, calming down from his giggles.
"I've never done this before," Jimin leads you to the driver's side, opening the door to reach for the radio. Leaving the car door open, Linger by The Cranberries made its way to your ears.
You feel your neck sets afire, you swear they've turned a bright pink that roamed to your cheeks. With wide eyes, questioning Jimin's actions. "You're not turning this into a coming of age film, are you?"
His palms glide to your waist, pulling you closer to him. Thank goodness the lot was empty, but you doubted maybe the girl Jimin was flirting with earlier can somehow see your bodies ridiculously swaying. That's the least of your worries, because Jimin's hands was electricity to your exposed skin. You decide to wrap your arms around his neck, not wanting to make it any more awkward and just going with the flow.
He blinks at you. "Yes, we certainly are." He purses his lips, you can only look.
Besides your swelling heart, your lips shake trying to suppress its cavernous grin. "So, this is what corny couples do?"
Jimin exhales through his nostrils, taking your hand to extend it to the side while he hugs you closer. "No, no. This is what we do, y/n."
You couldn't comprehend what he said, disregarding it by burying your head deep into his chest, inhaling his scent like making a memory, he does the same by digging his nose into your hair. You close your eyes to concentrate on the beat of his heart, just as fast as yours and synchronized perfectly.
"I've never done this before," he repeats and he feels you nod. "Have you?"
"No," you tell his chest. "Why would you think I've done it?"
His hot breath rolls on your scalp, enjoying the smell of your papaya shampoo. It goes on for a while, steady breathing no matter how fast both of your hearts rush. Then he lets go, a part of you already missing the feeling of his chest against your cheek.
"Can I just..." Jimin breaks, ignoring your question, his hand that used to intertwine yours holds your cheek, his grasp on your waist tightening. Your eyes were still, and he watches as though they were incomparable even when they're closed.
In a sharp push from behind you, fingers extending to push you further to his groin. Your eyes flutter open as his lips connect with yours. You pull away and you catch Jimin's eyes close, slowly opening them again.
"I'm sorry." He moves away, feeling horrible for just kissing you like that. Before he enters the car, you tug his arm, framing his face with your hands to pull him again back to your lips. He rakes his fingers on your back, just a little above your ass.
Feeling shy, the movement of your lips were subtle. But Jimin just devoured them, and you followed his sloppy kiss. He exhales heavily it sounded like a grunt, smiling in between. You wrap around him again, and he lifts his fingers to your nape. Pushing you towards the car, he jerks his hip and so did you, unfamiliar heat pooling between your thighs.
You thrust against him again, he grips you waist tighter only to pull away.
"You need to stop that," he purrs, giving you one last peck.
You followed his body, but he signals you to stop. Confused, you went to the other side and processed what he was trying to do. The kiss was too good to regret, it felt like an achievement rather. And the ride back to your house was unsatisfying, you didn't want to go home, you only wanted more. But Jimin leaves the moment he takes his bag, silence wrapping every second. No words exchanged after he stopped you from kissing him again, fazing you the whole night.
You spent your day memorizing at school, just happy that the teachers gave enough free time to let their students study for the upcoming exams. Except of course for Mrs. Cruz who went about Spanish adverbs.
Tuesday was boring, well, a little. It would've been extremely boring if the kiss last night didn't happen. Aside from flipping pages in the library while Sana sits comfortably beside you, your mind wanders why the fuck - why the fuck Jimin kissed you then stopped you. You poke Sana, intending to tell her about it, it doesn't matter if she can help, but she shakes your hand away and made a hissing noise. Slouching in your seat, you pick up your notes again, rereading each sentences.
Once. Twice. Thrice. Trying to get the definition of protein inside your head, but you're far from getting there when footsteps behind you felt closer. Please don't be him. But of course, destiny seems to love the idea of you being miserable.
"We need to talk," Jimin says right when you stand to face him, holding a brown teddy bear in his hand.
"No, dingus. She's with me," Sana protests, putting down her trig notebook.
"Actually, we need to really talk. Like really need to really talk, you know?" you reply, leaving your seat while Sana frowns.
Sana was only two steps away, yet Jimin continued with his statement.
"About the kiss," he begins. "I'm really sorry, I didn't know what I was doing. I shouldn't have done it."
"Right," you lie. "I also didn't know what I was doing. I was just thinking of Jungkook and I dived right in, I'm such an idiot. It was like one in the morning, I was hallucinating." You fake a giggle and Jimin furrows his brows.
"You were thinking of Jungkook?" he mutters, almost inaudibly. "I mean, right. Yeah, you're thinking of Jungkook, I should know ha ha."
"Let's just forget about it. It's dumb." You nod your head, and he bites his lip trying to ignore your gaze. "Is that for Seulgi?" Pointing towards the medium stuff toy, and he lifts it while scratching his nape.
"Nope, this is actually for you," he extends the toy forward and you uncertainly accept. "Are we still on tonight? You know? About the studying thing?"
You grit your teeth, pushing your thumbs roughly on the bear's stomach. "Of course, why wouldn't we be? Let's just forget about that thing last night, uhm... See you at five?"
Jimin finds you unbelievable, he couldn't even get over about the kiss ever since this morning but here you were, someone who's never been kissed before being so casual.
"Five it is." His lids drop, ignoring the prickly feeling as he walks away.
You release a huff, staring at the bear while Sana watches you with her mouth wide open.
"Wow, you're actually dating him."
You turn over to see her face, rolling your eyes. "Last thing on my list, okay?"
She shrugs.
It wasn't long 'till the sun sets, you were already in your pj's and this time, you wore a tight shirt to prevent Jimin from seeing your boring bra straps. You weren't even preparing the study materials, you were just sitting on the couch, tensed and dense, with ears waiting for the doorbell to finally ring.
Bracing yourself, you stare at the bear placed on the other side of the couch and it looks as though it's speaking right back at you. The doorbell rings, and you run to the door as fast as you could but you stopped before opening it, arguing with yourself whether to smile or not, pretending like you don't care that he's here.
"Hey," he clears his throat, "are you ready?"
"For what?"
He grins at your stupid question. "To study? What else are we gonna do?"
You shake your head, throwing your thoughts in a bin as you move away from the door, leaving him to close it. The heat beneath your thighs from your seat earlier comforts you, you're home and there's nothing to be nervous about — except you're home alone with Jimin and you have every reason to be nervous.
"What do study buddies do? I'm not really a fan of company," you confess as if he doesn't know yet.
"I don't know. I've never done it either." He laughs. "Let's just ask each other questions."
You nod, watching him sit a foot apart from you, positioning his black bag next to the couch.
"Oh," he expressed, looking at his gift that lies comfortably next to him. "Hello."
You place your thick Biology book on top of your lap, searching for questions you could ask him. "You ready?"
"When you are." He waits, rubbing his knee.
Fuck, there really was this stupid tension that won't go away even if you try. You breathe unsteadily, hoping your voice won't crack.
"What's a codon?"
He clicks his tongue. "It's a sequence of three nucleotides that corresponds to an amino acid. A full set of codons is called a genetic code." His voice was suave, completely unaware of your thoughts.
"Great, that's great. That's more than what a blank would need. Next question."
He nods.
"What's a DNA made up of?"
"Phosphate, 5-carbon sugar, and nitrogenous bases."
"Yes. Are you sure you need to review?"
"Yeah, it's just two questions I got right."
"Fine. What kind of bonds hold together the nucleotides within one one strand?"
"Special covalent bonds called phosphodiester bonds. Is that correct?"
"Yeah. This is unfair, you're in a science club."
"It's not just a science club. It's the Curious Minds Club."
You groan. "I was trying to forget that stupid name."
"Say what, Ms. Secretary of Mr. Darcy Fan Club."
"That's not the name of our club! It's Diverse Readers Literary Group."
"Oh, I forgot. You know why I forgot? It's boring."
"Dee-Ar-El-Gee. Sounds more professional than Curious Minds, it's like you're hosting a Disney show."
"DRLG? Sounds like a social worker group."
"Whatever. Your tiny brain won't understand."
He steals the book from your lap, flipping to a page you've never seen before. "What kind of bonds hold together the nucleotides within one strand?"
"Shit. Hydrogen bonds?"
"See? You got this. How many bonds do the nirogenous bases form?"
"A and T form 2... uh... hydrogen bonds while C and G form 3."
"You're just as qualified for the Curious Minds Club."
"Oh, no."
He laughs, dismissing your thoughts away. You find yourself breathing properly around him, forgetting the taste of his lips.
"Next question," he snaps his fingers, "how well do I kiss?"
You look at him for the first time in a while, his legs on the couch before you could even scold him for it. He has his arms on top of the couch, right above you. "Seriously?" was all you could say.
"Quick survey." You weren't kidding but it sounded like he was, though he anticipates your answer.
"It was great," you whisper, remembering it all again. How you thrusted onto him, tasting his sweet lips from the remnants of sprite, and how his smell didn't bother you a single bit.
"Just great?"
He shifts closer, and you turn your direction in front. "What do you expect me to say?"
"Did you really think of Jungkook?" You heard the tussle in his tone.
"Mhm," you recline. "Didn't you think about Seulgi?"
He laughs through his nostrils, the air gushing to your cheek. "Why would I think of her? I was kissing you. God, how oblivious can you get?"
"Well, maybe because you stopped me? You realized I'm not her so you stopped me."
It took a moment before he responded. "I didn't want you to stop. I just can't take you there."
"Take me where? Look, it's okay if you were thinking of Seulg-"
"My God, y/n. I was trying to control myself!"
"From what?"
"From fucking you," he half-yells.
There it was again, the fire building in you. Why did he have to bring this up again? You were close to forgetting everything - err, at least some of it.
"Y/n, I'm sorry if you felt like I was rejecting you. I can never do that." He scoots again. "Say something."
You had no clue what words you were trying to search for, all you wanted was to feel his lips on yours again. What do they taste like without the sweet drink lingering? How would it feel to kiss him in private? To kiss him in a comfortable place, somewhere no one can interfere?
There's only one way to find out.
"Then prove it."
He thinks for a moment before attaching his lips onto yours once again. It was like a taste you've been craving, and having his lips on yours again felt ecstatic. Without the drink, his lips tasted just the same, sweet and satisfying. He skims a hand to your thigh, while the other holds your nape. God bless the teenage hormones!
He pulls away, breathing raggedly. "On top of me." He taps your thigh and you oblige, sitting on his lap and returning your lips to his.
The kiss was running out, you want more. You want to feel more than just a kiss, it was insatiable. His sweatpants did no justice in hiding his hardening cock, softly poking on your entrance. But he kept his hands on your waist, trying his best not to grab your ass. You grunt, finally rolling your hips to feel that friction you've been needing.
He fails at controlling himself after hearing the noise you made, thrusting upwards to get the satisfaction he needed. His hand stops before the curved of your breast, needing an affirmation from you. For the mean time, he was entertaining himself by playing with your tongue. You earn a groan from him when you rub your pussy against the outline of his cock, he pulls away again to stare at his crotch, biting his lip.
"Did I do anything wrong?" you ask with so much worry.
"No, I just... I won't be able to stop if you keep doing that."
"Jimin, please," you beg, trailing his hands to your waiting breasts, moaning while you continuously rub yourself on him.
He watches you get yourself off with hooded eyes, his mouth open as he releases quiet moans himself. "You're doing so well, y/n, fuck." He pulls you again, biting your lower lip as he inserts one of his hand in your shirt, lifting your bra to pinch a nipple.
You were nearing your climax, and Jimin just kept watching without intention to take his clothes off. Slowing down, Jimin lifts your shirt right above your breasts, licking a nipple while he gropes the other.
You release a high-pitched whine, encouraging Jimin to twitch his dick. "Woah, you could do that?"
He giggles slightly, giving you a peck on the lips. "You're so adorable."
He thrusts again, pushing you further to your orgasm. Struggling to face him, he lowers your chin with his thumb, murmuring words you couldn't decipher at the moment, but they sounded comforting and sexy. With one last hump, muffling a loud moan in Jimin's shoulder, you find it hard to look in his eyes again. You could feel yourself throb in wetness, too ashamed to get off of Jimin only to find a wet spot on his gray sweatpants.
"It's okay, baby," he whispers as you pull away, resting back on your seat.
"Are you... Did you?" you stutter, currently having a hard time finding the right question to ask him.
He didn't. You saw the tip of his cock — it looks so good — bulging through the fabric, dry and desperate for attention.
"Hey, I'm fine. Don't worry about it." Nothing was fine for you, everything was embarrassing. You shouldn't have done that, you shouldn't have let your hormones get the best of you. You couldn't look him in the eyes, needing time to process your orgasm and what the hell you just did.
"I think you need to leave," you sternly command, "I need to-"
"I get it. Sorry." You regret telling him to leave because after his apology, he grabbed his things and actually left, giving you more the reason to regret everything.
The room was quiet, but you can still hear your reckless moans, wishing that the neighbors didn't hear any of it or else you're dead meat once your parents get home. You glance at the teddy bear, immediately grabbing the soft toy to hug it.
"Why didn't you stop me?"
The proctor was Mrs. Cruz, the first to ruin your day. She walks a lot around the classroom for someone who's having back problems. From time to time, she'd have a sit behind the desk, typing slowly on her laptop keyboard. She would also readjust her thinly-framed glasses, tuck her dry dark hair behind her ear.
That's enough description of Mrs. Cruz, you're absolutely lost for words when it came to the unexpected essay. Who puts an essay in a Maths exam? Apparently, it's Mr. Uley. You've left a couple of blanks, and some were lacking solution. Mr. Uley also came up with the worst idea for an exam: right minus wrong.
Rolling the edge of the paper to find relief, you signaled to Sana who sits beside you, luckily. Leaning to the side, you slump your foot down ever so slightly so that Mrs. Cruz wouldn't notice. Sana looks at you, then to Mrs. Cruz who was busy finding a letter in her keyboard.
You mouthed, "Number six."
Sana furrows her brow, flipping through her pages to see her answer. She smiles, and you sigh inside your head, she has an answer.
"I didn't answer it," she whispers back, catching the crooked teacher's attention. Sana plays it cool, pretending to think while she rolls her pen in her fingertips.
Your world drops again, shit. You're most likely going to fail Trigonometry, and that means watching motivational videos on Youtube about blaming the education system and how it fails the students completely for being incompetent when you really just didn't study.
That was only the first exam, there were more to come. You have already lost your motivation, but you were confident to take Biology. You have all the reasons to be.
Jimin appears at the cafeteria from time to time, but you would ignore it. He was aware of how uncomfortable it have gotten between the both of you and he wasn't planning to make any move. Good thing Sana has stepped out of her diet and finally started to join you for lunch again. But it's not that much fun with Sana, because for every bite of your sandwich, she had to talk about how unhealthy it was and that you should change your diet too. But it's her or no one.
Well, Jungkook was one person to talk to other than Sana. Short talks with him aren't so bad, he was just too shy. You can't expect much from a tenth grade boy, but you've made a close friend in him.
Two days of examination felt longer than it should, and time for studying felt shorter before exams. The only thing you're having trouble with was coming up with a story. You missed Jimin and his scent, and you knew things would be better if your problem with him would just go away, but you can't bring yourself to talk to him and arrange things between your relationship. He wasn't doing any effort either to come talk with you.
Maybe it really is over. Maybe you really ruined everything. You can't blame it on your hormones itself, you wanted to cum on Jimin's lap, it was all on you. It was your choice, and you've come to the conclusion that you might have actually fallen for the school publication photographer. Shit, you tell yourself.
You shut your laptop, frustrated for not finishing yet again another draft. You decided to fill your stomach instead of forcing out a drabble, it always ends well when you're munching on something sweet. When you reached downstairs, your Dad was cheering for Christiano Ronaldo again. ESPN must've ran out of ideas and just kept showing reruns of the same game, still your dad was entertained by them even after long hours of working.
He glances at you while you open the fridge, unbothered to ask you how was school. When the door rings, you dropped the box of leftover donuts. You were a little hopeful of who it could be.
Seeing your dad remain in the same position of the couch, you proceeded to the doorstep with a glazed donut in your hand. It's not him, but it sure was a surprise to have Sana visit you during this ungodly hour for a school night. She's got her hair straightened and fixed, wearing a white skin-tight dress that stops on her mid-thighs. She looked glamoured up.
"The hell are you doing here?" you asked the blondie while the donut melts in your mouth. Your Dad turns for a second, but he goes back to watching.
"I'm picking you up, dummy. Daniel is hosting a party, you should definitely come."
"What? No, I'm busy."
"You're not busy. Exams are over so let's have a celebration. Your boyfriend's gonna be there."
"He's not my boyfriend! I couldn't care less if Jimin will be there, can you let me be?" Yes, you actually cared that Jimin will be there. You just can't get the idea of him having fun while you are left here confused and still thinking about last time.
Of course he was over it. You were just another girl he had on his dick. You thought you would've memorized Jimin's tactics by now, but you're still as naive as he knows you would be. Your lids lightened against your eyes, a tingly feeling creeping inside you but not in a good way. You could float and fall at the same time.
"Let's go to this stupid fucking party." You swore your dad's head turned, but that's the least of your worries.
You rush to your room, picking up whatever you find sexy, and immediately throwing it on. You wanted to be unexpected and spontaneous, everything Jimin thought you wouldn't be. When you wind up to the party, his mouth is gonna drop on the floor while you grind on some jock's crotch. Maybe you'll regret it in the morning, but you've already done enough of regrettable stupid things in a span of a week. What's one more stupid mistake?
Things don't always go as planned, that's why you're sitting next to Hoseok, a senior like yourself from another school, you can't remember. But the discussion was great while Sana plays Truth or Dare with the band geeks. He was in the middle of talking about his hiking with his very wealthy family, and you were in the middle of falling asleep hoping he won't notice your lids dozing off.
You've never caught a sight of Jimin in the party, and you've already come to the conclusion that Sana just said that to make you come. You hate the fact that she was successful in her attempt.
Irritation brushed your nerves, keeping you awake as you stare deeper into Hoseok's beautiful smile. You wanted to make your plan come true whether Jimin was here or not — which in this case, not.
Whoever was in charge of music, you were thankful. It was probably an indie party song, somewhere around Grouplove's genre. Now you were throwing your hands around Hoseok, his smile disappearing and turning into a smirk. You felt dirty, what has high school become?
It wasn't that one glass of tequila that made you sway in front of Hoseok, you just wanted to take your mind off of Jimin. You hiss at the thought of him, placing a soft kiss on Hoseok's neck. He pulls you close, but it didn't feel like how Jimin pulled you that night in the lot. It felt cold, Hoseok's hand wasn't homely. His scent was probably Old Spice, you used to love that scent, you could smell it from Jungkook back then.
This wasn't working. For the first time in your high school years, you've failed yourself to accomplish something — aside from your Trig exam. Hoseok wasn't grinding himself and you appreciate the chivalry. He was just sorta enjoying your sloppy tongue against his neck, and he loved the way you were cutely dancing in front of him.
It wasn't long 'till his hand trails down to your ass though, and he was gripping it tightly. Before you could react, he was moving away. And when you looked at him, he was staring behind you. A familiar hand traces your waist, and a sweet fragrance travels your nose.
"I didn't expect you to be here," Jimin speaks from behind before you turn to face him. Hoseok was gone and you didn't bother.
"Get your hand off me, Jimin." He doesn't let go, only gripping the curve of your waist tighter. He was holding a sippy cup in his other hand, moving to your front to get a better view of you.
"What did I do wrong?" In all your honestly, nothing. You pushed him away and he did well, but you just wished he could read your mind during that time like he always does.
"How was exams for you?" You drop the topic, trying not to think of your embarrassing "cumming undone" moment. He sips in the most attractive way. You remain your arms crossed.
"I think I did horrible. I'm pretty sure you did well, baby," he slurs, obviously drunk.
When his breath reached your nostrils, you can't deny the way you throbbed for his lips to just latch onto your neck.
"Don't baby me," you irked, earning a chocolate laugh from him.
"Why not?"
"Because you're drunk."
"What made you think I'm drunk? I'm very much sober." He grips you tighter, and you didn't insist, only attaching your hips to his groin. "I'm just lazy talking." He bites his lip, watching how your hips teased the front of his fly.
"Why did you leave?" you asked.
"I didn't want to, y/n. I just know you felt uncomfortable and I don't want to push you further."
There was silence before you could process his answer, nothing proper came up as he molds his hand to your ass. He was confident when he's drunk. Unlike Hoseok, it felt right.
So much caressing happened, heavy petting. And Jimin being the suspect, you can't help yourself. You just somehow found yourself tangled with him on the way upstairs looking for a room to do things seventh grade you despised. Fuck relationships and young love, right? But if Jimin could make your hormones rage like a sexually-deprived normal teenager, why not try?
Whoever Daniel was, he's one hell of a rich guy. Losing your virginity in a luxurious palace looking room sounds better than losing it in the backseat of a car after prom night. Good thing Jimin had good control of his dick, or else you would have been pumped in his brother's car at a parking lot in front of a KFC.
You pushed your thoughts away as Jimin had his fingers at the hem of your underwear, tugging it down slowly. The air fills the gap, for the first time in your life, your pussy ached out of lust. Being the patient man, he looks you in the eye for a second, waiting for a word.
"Do you really want this?" he asks, his index already forming circles around your inner thigh. "I'm so fucking hard for you right now. If you're not sure, tell me before I shove my dick right in your pussy."
You were never a fan of porn, not even a single bit. You would never waste time on horrible actors, but Jimin's words were straight out of a porn script. Yet they didn't draw you back, instead you squirmed under his fingertips.
"Please, Jimin."
He buries himself in your slit, latching his tongue against your clit.
"Oh," you exclaimed. It felt like that evening you were on Jimin's lap, except more intense and raw. There's nothing more that you want than for him to do it again.
"You like that?" he asked, but you ignored. His tongue was gentle, placing kitten licks on your sensitive bud, having you arched your back like a professional gymnast. Both his hands traveled to your breasts, groping them amidst the fabric. You place your hands on top of his, it felt romantic to hold them for reasons you can't explain. He leaves one of your breasts, feeling him near his finger in your entrance.
Your eyes widened, jumping at the sensation of something entering you. He affirms you by tightening his hold on your hands. Again, massaging your clit with his plump luscious lips.
"Baby," he whispers to your pussy, as if making a bond with it. Enjoying the curving of a single digit in your hole, he slowly eased in another one. "Are you taking it well?"
"Yes, yes. God, yes." You grope his hair, pushing him to your clit and you feel him smirk.
He adds another once you got comfortable, the sting passing away after a few more pumps. When he feels you nearing again, he pulls away. He winks as he removes his pants, kicking it down until his member sprung out.
You have seen a dick, of course. Well, if anatomy illustrations count. It looked scary, but it was Jimin. Thick and veiny is the proper way to describe it, he was right. Seulgi would never break up with him because of his dick, it wouldn't even make the list of why she had broken up with him. You stared at it for a while longer while Jimin prepares himself by putting on a show.
He positions himself in between your thighs, rubbing the head of his cock in your cunt. He kisses you, muffling your moans as he eases inside, in a very gentle way as if you were a butterfly that landed on the tip of his finger. Though it was tearing you apart, Jimin finds a away to make you comfortable by rolling his tongue against your jaw. It helped only a little, and when he moved smoothly, you whimper which he takes notice of.
"Jimin, wait," with such an embarrassed tone, but he comforted you by staring into your eyes, stopping himself no matter how hard it was. "I'm sorry. I just need—"
"No worries, I'm okay. Do you want to stop or not?"
"No, just wait."
He nods, the air he emits heating your face. He stares at your teary eyes, falling more than ever. He's never seen anything so precious, if only he could take a picture of such moment, but there are things that the camera can't see, much like words can't express.
You wrap your arms around him, signaling him to continue. He doesn't disappoint, he pushed again deep inside you, releasing a shaky groan to your ear. Every thrust felt euphoric, not a single one didn't give you pleasure. You clench around him, earning a nasally exhale from him.
"Chim-ah..." you trail, clawing at the skin of his back. His face wrinkled, and it was the sexiest thing you've seen. "Feels so good."
He sped up his pace, and just like before, you were cumming around him. But he motivates you, unbothered whether he was finished or not. He sends you to your orgasm, legs clinging tighter around him. He watches you bite your lip to suppress the loud moan, still thrusting harder to ride the high.
Then he throws himself beside you, and this time you wanted to return the favor. You get on your knees which had Jimin's eyes flutter open, yet still hiding his excitement. Once you grip his length, he bites his bottom lip, trying to remain his calm. He focuses on you, propping on his elbows to see you better.
"You don't have to do this," he comforted.
"I want to. I'm no expert so please—"
"Shh, everything you do is sexy," he whispered, placing his thumb on your cheek to give you the warmth you needed.
Here goes nothing, you tell yourself. You slide a thumb over the head of his shaft before rolling your tongue from the bottom to the top. I should've watched porn more, I'm such an amateur.
Jimin saw the doubt in your eyes, giving you a sly smile before he speaks. "It feels good."
You swaddle his balls, finally pushing your lips further down his cock, softly sucking. You can taste yourself, it felt dirty doing something like it, but when you saw Jimin's eyes pinned on you while his face crunches in pleasure, you couldn't help but be motivated. You pumped the rest of his cock, latching you tongue on every visible vein which had Jimin grunting. You hollowed your cheeks while your tongue ripples inside, tickling the edges of his cock.
"Shit, y/n. You're going fucking—" he groaned, not being able to articulate proper sentences.
Then he explodes right into your mouth without a warning except for a hand in your hair, thrusting his hips upwards which made you gag. It was salty and bitter—not really your definition of swallowable. You still gulped it down, and Jimin laughs at your reaction.
Patting the space beside him, you slump down. You've always thought sweaty tangled bodies were disgusting, but it was actually comforting and warm.
That's the first night of hearing Jimin's cute little snores.
A flash to your face wakes you up, and through heavy lids you saw Jimin in his usual black pants, topless of course. You panicked this time, not because of your sleeping face but because you were just as naked.
"Jesus, Jimin! Delete that!" you demanded, the boy only grins.
"Just for me, trust me." He sits beside you on the bed, giving you a smack on the lips.
Your breath smelled like the night before, but Jimin didn't care. Having his warm body right next to yours was different, and even though your values don't really support what you were doing around him, you still wrapped them around his waist. Jimin does the same, the sound of his breathing calmed your thoughts.
You've always wondered why couples spend a lot of time together, like don't they run out of things to say? However, the silence in the room spoke something to you. No words need to be exchanged to let each other know the thoughts of the other.
Jimin gave you a ride home (with his brother's car) at four in the morning, kissing you goodbye, leaving you smiling as you walk to your room. You want to see him again, maybe even have a breakfast with him.
Wait, what? I'm not in love with him! This is just a huge crush.
You diminish the smile, proceeding to the shower to wash away his scent. Shaking your head as you think about actually falling in love. No! You're too young for that, right? Though the hot shower didn't really help you scrub the emotions off, it did give you the time to deny.
English was dry, and so were the other classes. If only Sana came today, maybe you would learn another nutrition fact about your usual chicken sandwich. Also it's not to your surprise that Jimin joins you for lunch and gave you a chocolate box. You've known him for years and he even went as far as buying a bouquet for Seulgi as a gratitude after their sexual escapades.
"You're giving me Ferrero Rocher for fucking you last night?"
He snickers, one that could make your cheeks burn. "Can you— What's wrong with you?"
"You're acting like I'm a new person. Jimin, I'm still your best friend," you say without expecting your tone to be as high.
"Babe, just open it for me." You roll your eyes at the nickname.
You lift the lid of the heart-shaped box, a note taped in the middle of the lid surprises you. Swooning a little, not trying to show Jimin your actual reaction.
“Do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my prom date?”
"No," you sighed. "I mean, no way this is real."
Jimin's gaze falls over, that look of hurt surrounding his face. "Hey, I'm not rushing you."
"This is just stupid, no offense. You know me, Jimin. I know you more than anything. I know you still think about her," you protest, not daring to look him in the eyes and just staring at the note.
"I'm not forcing you, y/n. I'm just offe-"
You scoffed, but you kept your composure. "I'm not going. It will be a waste of time. I'm really sorry. You can just ask her instead."
"I like you, y/n. I don't even think about her when I'm with you." You grew nervous at the thickness of his voice.
"Because that's what it is. You move on easily because you're not really in love, kids like us don't know the meaning of love. Stop pretending that for every sex you've had, you're in love."
"Jimin," Seulgi appears behind him, clearing her throat.
"I'm gonna go," you tell him with a broken voice, giving a thin smile towards Seulgi. You take the box half-heartedly, chocolates can't go to waste.
That was the last time you spoke to Jimin and from time to time, he'd give a call but you never answered any of them. Things slowly went back to normal and finally, you've finished your feature before Min Yoongi spams you with e-mails. The outcome never really satisfied you, but it was better than nothing.
In my long years of high school, the word "love" had never crossed my mind. A week ago, I was assigned to write about falling in love at a young age. But the truth is, falling for someone during these early years will never happen. Love takes so much more than just a spoken word. I know, you're in love with your partner right now, but let me tell you this one thing: you're not. These butterflies, all the fluttering inside our stomachs, they're most likely just happiness and excitement. College will come, and all the emotions we feel now will be forgotten. So, what's the point in falling in infatuation? Save yourself the emotional roller coaster, love in high school is the last thing you should think of. There's so much more to love in the world, like baseball or cheerleading. It doesn't always have to be a person. The right time will arrive, and you're actually going to fall in love. But not when we're still struggling to solve for the x, or when we can't come up with an essay. Love is everywhere, but our young little hearts won't recognize that just yet. Just like what Ricky Nelson had said, "We haven't the right to decide for ourselves, dear, what's black and what's white."
"This sucks." Sana slams the paper on the lunch table, giving you a judging look. "I can't believe Yoongi allowed this to be published."
You roll your eyes, cringing at the sight of your highly-disliked feature. "I know, okay? No need to remind me."
"Well, everybody in campus hates you now for thinking that their relationship is all just a joke to you. It's not like they care about your opinion, just that they feel humiliated. You could have done better." Her expression was disappointed, aware of what you're hiding. "You know Jimin submitted your picture right? The one in the cafe sayin-"
"It's published. What can I do?" You cut her off before she could make you feel bad about Jimin, munching on your chips as you slouch on your seat.
Sana puts her hand behind your back, straightening your posture. "I know you can write better. You're just trying to run away from your inspiration."
You give her a dirty look before speaking with your mouth full. "Shut up, I'm not running from anything."
She laughs, caressing your back. "Oh, my y/n, you can't lie from me." She smiles, her perfect teeth annoying you.
"Who cares if they don't like my feature? They go ahead and write their own, I don't care."
"You're so narrow-minded. Are you sure you're not coming to prom? I can still get you a dress in case you change your mind."
Right, you almost forgot. Prom was tomorrow, and you're kind of regretting not going after finding out that Jungkook will be there to serve the food. But seeing Jungkook wouldn't be worth it if you will be seeing Jimin dance with Seulgi all night long.
"I'm not changing my mind, Sana." You stood, gathering your stuff before leaving Sana behind in the cafeteria, not wanting to talk about how excited she is for prom.
You spent the next day watching reruns on ESPN much like your father, nodding along as he complains how a professional athlete couldn't make a single goal. He was too absorbed by the sports in front of him, he couldn't notice the distress in your eyes. There's no hope from your mother either who was busy finishing her reports. You groan.
Then it's prom night, you flop down to your messy bed, staring at the untouched chocolate heart-shaped box Jimin had given you two weeks ago. You breathe deeply, pulling yourself from the bed to approach the partly golden box. When you open it again, the message was still there—it's not like it's going to disappear over time. But it felt like yesterday, the chocolate looked good as new, and even smelled as sweet as... him.
You jump through your skin when you hear your mom opens the door without giving a quick knock, making you jolt the box to the floor.
"Mom!" you yell, and she broke into a fit of laughter.
"Sorry, hun. What would you like for dinner?" she asks in her velvet voice, warming the cold night.
"I'm not really eating. You and Dad can decide." Your eyes wander around the room, throwing your ego to ask her a question. "Mom?"
She comes back to the door, leaning on the door frame with one of her hands on her waist. "Yes?"
"This will sound really stupid, but" — you exhale — "how did you know you were in love with Dad?"
She giggles, making you feel more ashamed of the question. She moves to your side, sitting beside you before she speaks. "Well, I didn't know it. I felt it. One day, I hated the sound of his snores, then I woke up next realizing I can't live without them. There's so many things I hated about your dad, but I still love what I hate about him. By the way, your dad had the worst perfume back in the day, but now I can't breathe without it."
You chuckle, suppressing the twinge of dismay filling your mind. "I feel like I made a mistake of letting this boy go."
She gasps. "Why didn't you tell me about this boy?"
"That's not really the point right now," you laugh.
"That's what kids do. You guys make mistakes and you keep making 'em. If you love him, then go for it, honey."
You choke. "You think I love him?"
"Don't you? You don't have to love a person to chase 'em, you chase 'em because you want to love them." She sighs. "You're young, you're not supposed to make the perfect decisions just yet. Don't stress about whether you love this boy or not. If it doesn't work out, you can use the lesson for the next."
"That's more than I need, Mom. Thank you."
She gives you a squeeze on your shoulder before leaving you room.
I screwed up.
You pick the box from the floor, and a picture falls out from it. It took you a while before you could analyze it. A black and white photo of a girl reading a book, very similar to the one in the museum. What caught your attention is you knew who it was, the clothes, the book, the face. It was you back in eighth grade during the book fair, you had your eyes pinned on Wuthering Heights.
With heart racing, you flip the picture to reveal the message behind it.
"To the first girl I fell in love with :)"
Your mouth was left open, frozen in place as you try to process your emotions. You're the girl Jimin was talking about, you were Jimin's eighth grade crush. He had feelings for you just like you had feelings for him back then, and it all came back when you started hanging out with him again.
You wasted no time getting into your hoodie, running downstairs which made your mom look at you in horror.
"Mom, I need the car keys. I made a mistake." Without a nod from her, you grab the car keys and ran to her forbidden Civic.
It's been long since she have let you borrow the car, but it's now or never. It seemed like the perfect timing to tell him how you actually feel, under chandeliers and surrounded by young couples dancing in love. You weren't even sure if he decided to show up to prom as well after your hurtful rejection in front of Seulgi. Or maybe he had changed his mind, choosing to take your advice and actually taking Seulgi to prom.
You brushed the negativity off, pulling in Chelsea Hotel. A parking valet stopping you from entering the hotel, but you shove him from you, quickly running towards the venue. Poor guy just trying to do his job.
You exhale, trying to catch your breath. The room glimmers, a disco ball instead of a chandelier spins on the ceiling. You roll your eyes, your school has always been a disappointment when it comes to decoration. You seek through the students, searching for the pale boy. You only found Sana who was already waving at you, eyes shinning in joy. You give her a sly smile, continuing to look for Jimin. And you found him by the photo booth, approaching him with tiny steps.
"Hi," you greeted.
He looks up from the camera and your words were already backing away, throat thinning when you meet his eyes.
"I am sorry for what I said. I was being narrow and stupid. I shouldn't have said those, you know?" You voice cracks in every word, and he goes back to his camera. "Jimin, please."
You saw him suppress a smile, but it wasn't enough. He was still fiddling with his tripod, fake fixing the stand.
"Fine!" you blurt, walking away from him.
You caught a lot of eyes staring at your outfit as you approach the stage, and you felt nauseated when you reached for the microphone. A blond girl furrows her brows at you, pointing towards her bandmates.
"What are you playing?" you confidently ask.
"Excuse you?" she returns, annoyance obvious in her tone.
"Trust me, I'll let you sing. Just tell me what song are you playing."
"Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer," she says without certainty.
"Look, I can get you in front of the page of our next publication issue. Everyone in the school will know your band, just do me one favor."
She turns to her bandmates and they all nodded. "Spit it out."
"Can you please... play the intro while I have my speech?"
"You got it."
When you said that, you didn't expect them to actually play the intro immediately. But there's no turning back, all eyes were already on you except for Jimin. Everybody gave you looks, obviously aware that you were the one that wrote that hateful feature.
You pat the mic, feedback traveling through everybody's ears. Then you sighed again, prepping yourself.
"I know I've hurt some of you because of what I wrote. I'm sorry to everyone. I was the one wrong, I shouldn't belittle these emotions because we're young. I've come to the realization that whatever we feel now will always matter even in college, even when we're old. Falling in love today doesn't make anyone less of a person, we're young and we're supposed to make mistakes. Fall in love now and fall in love again, it's how stories are made. And to that person I specifically broke, I think I like you." You breathe, picking in your nails. "So, Park Jimin, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."
You bit your lip, waiting for the audience's response to your corny speech. And your back straightens when they started clapping, some even yelled "Fuck yeah!" which made you laugh in embarrassment. Your eyes couldn't find Jimin at the moment, and you gave blondie the microphone, letting her continue her performance. You have some deals to make with Yoongi for the next front page.
You walk down the stairs, trying to calm the race of your heart. A hand pulls your waist, plump luscious lips devouring yours. Sweet fragrance entering your senses, you knew who it was.
"That was the cringiest shit you've said," he comments. "I knew you would come."
You roll your eyes. "I think I owe you a meal."
Jimin puts his hand at the small of your back, directing you towards the photo booth. "No, you owe me a story."
(unedited)





