#kldpb

[healingheartxkae]

Ari Lennox sang the lyric “scared of true healing”….is that the space that I’m at? That I’ve been metaphorically sitting in shit for so long and I’ve gotten used to it that I’m scared of stepping out of it and truly healing?

[healingheartxkae]

Glad I expressed those emotions and had a solid cry.

But I feel like there’s way more going on inside and there needs to be another cry.

I’ve been holding back, tucking away and burying things emotionally.

It was just easier to do given that I’m in a “better” space.

There was no place for duality.

But there has to be.

I can be doing good for the most part, while also having underlying battles.

[healingheartxkae]

Ease and flow.

Making things, and living easier. Flowing with what is and abandoning what isn’t.

[healingheartxkae]

The day I free myself from the memory of you will be glorious

[healingheartxkae]

I missed out on so much trying to clutch and hold onto him.

I have regrets but I’ll do better forever.

[healingheartxkae]

Time to tune out the noise and refocus.

[healingheartxkae]

I’m so sad. This wasn’t the best experience but it wasn’t the worst. Either way, I’m upset and I’m going to miss him.

I really didn’t want things to end. Especially not like this.

But he literally gave me no choice.

I feel the pain in my chest and gut.

I wanna cry very much.

I won’t though, he doesn’t deserve anymore tears from me.

[healingheartxkae]

They told me not to expect loyalty from him because of his betrayal of another and they were right. He betrayed me in the sense he wasn’t the same friend to me that I was him & that he just suddenly abandoned me.