Don't just do something, stand there!
I don’t want to do something out of the fear of not doing anything! Whenever I feel restless and agitated with thoughts of “do something/be somewhere/plan something”, I sense my heart shrinking and confusion arises. Why is it?! I check with myself and see….O, this itchy emptiness, this scary loneliness…
At times, I still judge myself for those feelings. And I’m either completely ignoring them, or sinking low and becoming discourage and stagnant, or filling the void with actions of temporary distraction.
Today, as I noticed myself getting caught up in that restless feeling, I sent myself to my room. As if I was my own parent trying to educate me how to quit the run and be still. When I sat, I asked myself “what do you want now?”. Apparently, I did not want to plan my week ahead or to look for a new job or a place to live or even to go to the sea or plan my visit at my friend. I wanted to do nothing!!!
But you see, emptiness invite discomfor at first and it is not much fun. Though, as I let go of the judgement and let myself be with this nothing, I see that nothing happens:). It is all pretty okay. It is actually very okay to just do nothing and be nothing and go nowhere. I already know. Everything takes care of itself, when the time is right and the heart is open and ready. I might or might not do something with the rest of this day, week, life….but whatever will happen- may it comes out of Life passion and flow rather than fear and coercion.
