#lavenderprose

[hazmesentir-archive]

The descriptive audio for HR must be INSANE. "Shane climbs into Ilya's lap. Ilya looks up at Shane like there are galaxies forming in his eyes. Shane whips off the black T-shirt that, to be clear, is NOT the one he rolled in with. They rub dicks." LIKE??

you made me go back and watch it with the AD subtitles and I’m dying haha, please enjoy the British robot narrating frotting (recorded without visuals for a more authentic experience also im scared of tumblr censorship)

is this asmr

[hazel-wand]

Here’s a two-for-one fic rec. I’ve never watched the film The Family Man (definitely not a Nicholas Cage fan), but I loved both of these AU Stucky versions. These two fics have the same plot, clearly, but I actually really like seeing how two different authors have Stuckified the film.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[mitsususu]

Call me anytime, call me any day or night! Below are my Top 5 Favorite stories:

“Stop interrupting my grinding” (M, 33k) by rohkeutta

“I tried to call Sam,” Captain America says, bewildered. He’s sprinting like Usain Bolt and doesn’t sound even a little out of breath. Fucker. “Who’re you?”

“Someone who’s watching you live on TV,” Bucky tells him as the tiny patriotic figure on the screen takes the turns like he instructed. Bucky should probably be a lot more freaked out about this, but honestly? After a tour in the Middle East and six years as a nurse in New York, even this isn’t enough to ruffle him. One sees a lot of shit in the ER. “Also, you better hang up now, that thing is behind the next bend.”

“Uh, okay,” Captain America says. “Thanks?”

“Whatever,” Bucky says, disconnects the call and turns the TV off to get ready for his shift.

+ Shrunkyclunks. Sassy Nurse Bucky is reluctantly charmed by Steve

-☆-

"maybe bi guy” (M, 3k) by obsessivereader

Steve: i saw that guy again. i think i’m not as straight as i thought i was

Unknown number: i hate to tell you this but you got the wrong number pal. but hey, i’m bi. i’ve been there. i can talk you through it if you want --- Or Steve embarks on a journey of self-discovery assisted by a helpful stranger who likes to make really bad puns

+ Modern AU. Mentorship to friendship to relationship in 33 days

-☆-

“Slide To Answer” (T, 13k) by relenafanel

"What do I do?” Steve appealed into the phone. “I’m freaking out.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. It lasted so long that Steve pulled the receiver away from his ear and frowned at it. Pay phones were old. Maybe this one wasn’t working despite the obvious dial tone when he picked up.

“Ok,” a stranger’s voice said over the phone. “First acknowledge the fact that you dialed the wrong number, but be quick about it because my cab is a few blocks away from my own plans and I’m about to drop some truth bombs on you.”

+ Modern AU. Bucky tries to emotionally connect and Steve is too attractive for his own good

-☆-

“Bucky Barnes and the Birth Blunder” (T, 5k) by LavenderProse

Good news! reads a text that Bucky receives at five AM on a cold April morning, Peggy went into labor last night! We're heading to the hospital now! Cartinelli baby on its way!!!! The number is not one programmed into his phone, or even one he recognizes. Hey, he texts back, im super happy for u but i dont kno who u people are

Or: Steve needs to figure out how to work his phone and Bucky is Too Tired For This. Or: Tony Stark needs to inform his technologically inept friends when he changes his phone number. Or: None of this would have happened if it weren't for Justin Hammer.

+ Modern AU. The group chat is enthusiastic and confused Bucky is swept along for the ride

-☆-

“Steven Grant Rogers, Expert on All Things 21st Century” (M, 6k) by rightings

Steve; HEY, SAM! guess who finally figured out how to import all his contacts on his new iPhone 7:DD!! Sam; well. clearly not you, since you're assuming this is sam.

+ Shrunkyclunks. Steve loves trolling Bucky and putting noses in emoticons :-)

-☆-

*More wrong number fics in the Pride list 

[kiaronna]

lavenderprose replied to your post “I love how so-called chick lit gets slammed for its unhealthy...”

My personal favorite: Man is forced to face one (1) consequence for an action, gets mad, commits murder about it. Possibly brutalizes a sex worker in the process.

MAGGIE LOOK HE’S NEVER FACED A CONSEQUENCE BEFORE HOW ELSE IS HE MEANT TO RESPOND

meanwhile someone must simultaneously represent and suffer for the sins of society and u know it’s gonna be the poor female character he’s with

oh also I forgot 

male lead: *has homoerotic relationship and metaphors that are never acknowledged and may even be unrealized by the author*

[badamore]

whispers hello friend I'm rereading your snippets fic and I know this was a Very Long Time Ago so feel free to not even respond but Loch Ness Monster Vitya? I love. It made me think about Lake Superior. Lake Superior is the largest lake in the world...famous for its shipwrecks...a quarter mile deep...However in the winter when it freezes all of the sediment settles to the bottom and the lake becomes mostly transparent, so Yuuri would def see Victor creeping on him from the Depths

‘I—’ Yuuri squats down on his haunches, taking Viktor’s long-fingered hands in his own. Viktor’s skin is wet and nearly translucent, and there’s the faintest hint of webbing underneath Yuuri’s touch. His fingers splay wide, caressing Yuuri’s palms. ‘To be honest, I thought you were a hoax.’

Viktor tips his head to one side. Half of his body, rising from the clear water, is very naked; when Yuuri cranes his head slightly he can see the other half, blurring into soft and alien outlines against the rocks. ‘I don’t feel like a hoax.’

The voice Yuuri hears is low and very musical, another of the thousand sounds crinkling upon each other in the waves. It’s a voice with no age. They’re alone in the evening silence, and the sky behind them seems to rumble with the echoes of thunderstorms. Viktor’s eyes are a very bright blue.

Yuuri’s quite sure, although he doesn’t trust his vision much these days, that Viktor has feet. The rocks sucking at the tides gleam like rich jewels, and against the cliffs Viktor’s silhouette is the colour of sunset. He— ‘Are you?’ Yuuri asks before he can help himself. He bites his lip, but it’s too late to take back the words. ‘A he? I mean, I don’t know what to call you.’

‘I’m whatever you want me to be,’ says Viktor cheerfully. ‘I can change form, too. Do you want my skin?’

‘Your what?’

Those slender, faintly webbed fingers wrap themselves ever more tightly around Yuuri’s wrists. Viktor wants Yuuri to trust him, to strip off the human shoes and step barefoot into the tide and come closer, closer, closer. Yuuri does trust Viktor. Yuuri’s just trying to hold on to the remnants of his heart which are still his own. ‘My skin.’

‘Viktor, you’re confusing me.’

‘So you can keep me,’ Viktor explains with the sort of dreamy, unblinking patience Yuuri supposes one might develop from haunting the world’s oceans since time immemorial. ‘So I don’t run away from you. Have you ever heard of selkies?’

‘But you’re not a selkie,’ Yuuri says.

‘I don’t know what I am.’ Viktor lifts a hand and places it against Yuuri’s face; Yuuri turns his cheek into Viktor’s palm, closing his eyes. ‘We could try. It might work anyway. I’ve never done this before, you see.’

‘I don’t want to keep you!’ Yuuri drops to his knees. Before he can stop to think about what he’s doing, he kicks off his sandals and dips his feet into the foam—just the toes at first, then all the way up to the ankles, fascinated by the swirling eddies of sediment. At the sight, Viktor’s tongue comes out involuntarily to wet his own lips before he closes his mouth again. ‘I don’t want to hold you with me like—like you’re my prisoner. Viktor, this isn’t Scotland. You’re in Lake Superior. I study in Detroit. You know Detroit? Michigan. America.’

‘Yee-haw,’ Viktor replies pleasantly.

[dadvans]

Whispers what if we make it truer to form and flip it so that Viktor owns the hotel. It's a comfy inn in northern Michigan. Viktor keeps hoping that Beautiful College Student Yuuri who Viktor spent three weeks with one summer will remember him and return from Detroit or Ann Arbor or wtv. But he never did and Viktor rebounded HARD with Clinger Georgi and ill-advisedly banged FWB Christophe a few days after Yuuri left and then had a BABY. So Viktor had Yurio and bought the inn and lives in hope.

Look here are my only requirements for a Mamma Mia AU:

• Victor is Meryl Streep • because Victor is ALWAYS Meryl Streep• look if they cast Meryl Streep as Victor in a live action YOI movie I would probably be okay with it• But more importantly i bet Victor’s big hetero celebrity crush is on Meryl Streep and he is intensely aroused by that scene in the Devil Wears Prada where she gets out of the car while putting on her glasses near the end, because who isn’t??? Honestly• Victor and Christophe are the kind of exes that always get wine drunk together and briefly consider getting married and then laugh a little sadly together because in another world they would have been perfect for each other but this isn’t that world• You write a cameo where Colin Firth and I are also holding pinkies on the shores of Lake Superior because my experience with Michigan is in the UP and imagine Victor running a sleepy inn in Marquette and Yurio being obsessed with pasties • Could u imagine Otabek as a wedding DJ in northern michigan though, that is a story in and of itself. Yurio isn’t old enough to go to the bars, but he gets a fake ID to go see Otabek spin sets for lukewarm college crowds and afterwards they go get pasties and Otabek brushes the flakes away from the corner of his mouth• Yuuri in the muggy midwestern heat that makes everything stick to his skin and Victor wants to DIE about his ass and stomach being lovingly hugged by ill-advised, too small cotton shirts and denim jeans. Yuuri’s body is unconstitutionally even hotter than it was sixteen years ago, it’s cruel and unusual punishment to stare at the flecks of grey coming in at his temples and the crows feet at the corners of his eyes.

[actualyuuri]

I like both you and lavenderprose and I could cry because you're both fantastic. I told another writer I like and I'll say it to you too: love yourselves like Phichit loves himself. Say often "I AM A GIFT" because YOU ARE.

AHHHHH THANK YOU ANON!!!!! ^.^ <3 ^.^ <3 ^.^ I agree 200% - @lavenderprose is great!!

[armourxcore]

Somewhere in the dwts yoi au's tumblr is a big ass meta with gifs that someone lovingly put together showing the differences between ep 3 & 4 THEY'RE FUCKING, THEYRE FUCKING screams the owner of dancevicturi"s tumblr

omg!!! buzzfeed probably publishes this too and #victuuriwatch stays trending for the 2nd week in a row. that one gif that’s a close-up of victor’s hand on yuuri’s waist while they’re listening to the crits. one blog post is just 10 screencaps of victor looking at yuuri. if anyone remembers when meryl davis was on dwts and her last routine where at the end they’re both breathing hard and smiling into each other’s mouths and havent stopped clinging for like a full minute…yeah, that.