#lazy witchery

[notabitch-witch]

hi! so a little while ago, i read up about the witches in my area. from one of them, i know where she got murdered. now, i'd like to do it ritual with her, getting to know her maybe, but i dont know wheter that's possible or even a good idea. anyone want to share their opinion? :)

[lazywitchling]

Hearthstone Charm

It’s been a hot minute since I posted a spell or craft. Here’s one that’s both.

This is budget friendly and super low energy. It’s based on the Hearthstone in World of Warcraft (because you know me, I love my pop culture witchery). In Warcraft, your Hearthstone allows you to teleport back to one ‘home’ location anywhere in the game. You find an innkeeper, tell him to set that location as ‘home’, and then after that, you can return to that spot any time you choose no matter how far away you are.

That’s the idea we’re harnessing here. “There’s no place like home”, if you will. Sometimes I’m out in a public place and I get overloaded and really need to go home, or I’m having a really difficult day at work and I don’t want to be there anymore. I keep this stone in my pocket and then just hold it when I need a breather. I use my stone to get myself to a ‘home’ mindset, giving me a feeling of safety and calm. (If you want to go to the extra effort, you could enchant your stone to be a ‘go home early’ charm if you want to physically go home, but that’s up to you.)

You will need:

A rock from your chosen home location

Paint or a marker (light blue if you’re sticking with the Warcraft theme, but as usual, you do you, boo)

That’s it. That’s literally all the materials you need.

Now, I say “chosen home location”. My rock is from my yard at my house. For some people, their house is where they want to escape from, not return to, and that’s okay. You can also choose a rock from your school, your friend’s house, a park you love, or wherever you feel the most safe.

Here’s the beauty of the spell: The rock is already charged and cleansed because it’s been hanging out in the ground like rocks do, absorbing all that ‘home’ energy.

Give the rock a clean, but NOT a cleanse. You don’t want to clear out the energy your rock already has, but you do want to make sure you’re not carrying around any gross bacteria in your pocket. Soap, water, maybe some rubbing alcohol or something, but leave the salt and incense smoke out of it.

Paint or draw on the swirl symbol you see above. (If warcraft isn’t your jam and you have a different symbol you associate with home, or you want to make a sigil, go right ahead.)

That’s it. You’re done. The ground already did all the work for you, so you don’t need to expend any of your own energy.

[notabitch-witch]

i just baked cookies for 6 hours but thats okay because it's yule

[lazywitchling]

You know those little thread tangles you sometimes find when they fall out of cheaply made clothes, and for a second you think it's a bug, and even after you realize it's just thread, you still don't want to pick it up because it's gross? That feeling is what we're harnessing for this hex. It's simple to do and only requires some thread. It can be as general or specific as you want. While you're making the thread look nasty, you can envision very specific moderate inconveniences happening to your target, or just focus on general ill will and let fate/whatever do what it wants.

[lazywitchling]

Lazy Witch Tip

Knitting/crocheting/sewing something and don't have the energy to put intent and focus into every single stitch? Exhausting yourself after one row? ENCHANT YO KNITTING NEEDLES, OR YARN BALL, OR SPOOL OF THREAD.

[lazywitchling]

Night Vale Glow Cloud Spell

For when something big/important/scary is going on in your life and you need to remind yourself it’s not the end of the world

“Sometimes you go through things that seem huge at the time, like a mysterious glowing cloud devouring your entire community. While they’re happening they feel like the only thing that matters, and you can hardly imagine that there’s a world out there that might have anything else going on.

And then the Glow Cloud moves on. And you move on. And the event is behind you. And you may find that, as time passes, you remember it less and less. Or absolutely not at all, in my case.

And you are left with nothing but a powerful wonder at the fleeting nature of even the most important things in life – and the faint but pretty smell of vanilla.”

Things you’ll need:

An oil warmer, preferably one with a tea candle

Water

Pure vanilla extract

(This is more of a meditation than a spell, but frankly I have this mental block about meditations, so if I call it a spell, it’s something I’ll actually do. You can call it whatever you want to.)

First thing’s first: Find yourself a quiet place to sit, away from distractions of the internet and anything that might be stressing you out. Also have a fire safe setup please, and don’t light your shit on fire.

Pour some water in the top of your oil warmer, then add just a small splash of vanilla extract. Place a tea candle in your oil warmer and light it.

As the mixture heats, it should start evaporating off the top of the warmer, visible as a brief little ‘cloud’, leaving you with a nice vanilla scent.

Take a few breaths and remind yourself that whatever this Glow Cloud is, it will pass, however world ending it may seem. Life will continue on. It may take a long time, and things may not continue on exactly as they were before the Glow Cloud came, but they will continue.

If you want, you can listen to or read the Glow Cloud episode of Night Vale, but it’s not necessary.

When the liquid has evaporated, blow out your candle and continue on with your life.

Note: don’t leave the candle burning with an empty oil warmer. It’s perfectly okay to blow out the candle before all the liquid is gone. It’s more important that you don’t set your shit on fire than letting all this stuff evaporate.

Budget and Candle note: You can buy an oil warmer pretty cheap. I got one from the grocery store for $4, and another from the dollar store for $1. You could also use a vanilla scented candle if you want. Or an unscented candle and some vanilla room spray. Or a glow stick and some room spray. The important part is something glowing, something vanilla scented, and your own quiet time.

Witch on, my lovelies <3

[lazywitchling]

Rock your Grimoire the lazy way

You know we all want a fancy ass spell book like this. But who the heck has time for all that art?

Okay, I know SOME of you do, and you make the rest of us jealous with your watercolor-and-pressed-flowers books of amazeballs.

But for the rest of us, we deal with bad handwriting and cheap notebooks.

Want an easy way to make your grimoire look pretty?

Fonts.

Check out this page. All sorts of free fonts you can download. Find the ones with the square complicated letters (like this, this, this, or this), type out a page of them in your word editor of choice, and print the page. Cut out the squares, and stick them in your spell book with a glue stick.

Dresses up your pages without giving you that much extra work. And there you go. Fancy ass Grimoire, the lazy witch way.

[lazywitchling]

Alright. As you can see in the blog URL, I am a lazy witchling. I don’t put any more effort into things than I have to. It’s a character flaw, what can I say.

[hello, it’s me from the future, editing this post to say: it’s not a character flaw, it’s the adhd. Surprise! Okay, back to the past now.]

Yet, I decided that this year, I’m going to do something witchy every day. Some days it might be spells, others it might be tarot reading, or working on my grimoire, or making witchy craft items. In order to keep track of all of this, I have been using a planner. In this planner, every day I write down what I did.

This has led to me noticing a pattern. On days when I don’t work, I can’t muster up the energy to do anything too complicated. Those are the days I end up doing a simple tarot read, or lighting a candle with a sigil carved into it. On days when I DO work, I come home and have all sorts of energy and focus for witchy stuff.

Since I know the pattern now, I can plan for low energy days by doing extra magic on high energy days to give my future self a little boost. It’s like taking excess energy from my Now self and storing it so my Later self can use it.

Some ways I’ve done this:

Simple knot magic. There’s that thing about witches tying the wind into a knotted cord and then sailors untying it when needed. I do that with energy. At the end of the day, if I’m still feeling too wired to go to sleep, I will sit down, focus, and ‘tie up’ excess energy into a cord. Then I’ll take the cord with me to work and untie the knots as necessary for a little boost.

Tea light candles and essential oils. Some days I’ll put a tealight or three on an electric mug warmer, let the candle melt, drop in some essential oils relevant to my intent, then let the candles cool. Sigils can be carved into the wax, incantations can be said, or you can leave them as is. But I put the candles away in a box (labelled so I remember which is which!), and on low energy days, I’ll just grab a candle and light it. Past Me has already done the work so Future Me doesn’t have to.

Spell kits. You know in the grocery store you can pick up spice kits that come with pre-measured spices you just add to your cooking without having to do any of the work? You know you can also do that with spells? I bought a pack of tiny plastic bags (like the kind spare buttons come in) at the craft store for about two dollars for a pack of a hundred. I’ll sprinkle some herbs into a few of those, then put the bags of herbs together in a box or some kind of container. When I’m not feeling focused enough to actually look up herb correspondences, HEY LOOK, Past Me already made a “sleep” kit, and all I need to do is open the bags and dump everything together, and there you have it.

Sigils. Make sigils ahead of time, something like “I have as much energy as I need”. Draw it out on a paper. Label the paper so you know what the sigil means. Keep sigils together in an envelope or your spell book. When you need one, just take a paper and burn it. Or throw it in water and let the ink run. Or crumple it up as small as you can. Or rip it up into tiny tiny pieces. I find that destruction almost never takes up much energy at all!

Those are just a few things that have helped me, anyway.