That's a bold start from elder Anderson. He's just reinforcing what I already thought about people who want the pregnant person to give birth at all costs. They don't care about the quality of life, how many medical bills those parents will have to pay. All i heard was "Do what God wants" and "sacrifice your wants and needs so this baby can be born" but then gave solutions for AFTER pregnancy. All I keep hearing is "don't trust yourself, your intuition or your body" if you pray and end up wanting or needing an abortion. Let your body change for 9 long months and hurt and be uncomfortable. Especially since abortion isn't considered murder, it should be up to the pregnant person and their doctor. The fact that God "allows" for it and leaders regurgitate it's only allowed in certain cases doesn't help and isn't very "we love women" of them. I'm ashamed that the men of the church are still counseling members about this and aren't saying to sincerely listen to their own hearts and body and needs. It's so hard to want to start a family when I'm told to disregard my feelings when it's MY body that could get pregnant. Then if you do get an abortion there's the stigma shame and guilt that comes with it, even if you were instructed to do it.
Shout out to the ex-Mormons who think we’re all brainwashed for staying despite the Church’s flaws. This is your reminder that your trauma is real, but
There are those of us who have had good experiences with the Church (as well as bad ones) and your trauma at the hands of church members does not negate those good experiences. An institution is capable of doing great good and great harm at the same time and we need to take a more nuanced approach to these things than just painting everything in black and white. (Yes, this is something I have to tell myself sometimes to keep from getting bitter.) You telling me what my own experience with the Church has been makes you as bad as you think the Church is. You think they’re trying to take my agency away? Look at how you treat people who decide to stay and fight for change before you speak.
Here’s the talk/sermon/speech I gave today in Church:
Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ, who strengtheneth me.
There’s a lot going on in that scripture, and it’s a bold statement. It’s not even a we, but an I. I can do all things. But then, it’s not just I. There’s two people mentioned. Christ. I can do all things, through Christ. So it’s not just me. And why should it be?
Consider this; there have been probably trillions of people on Earth. There are seven billion on this little planet just right now. Angels are said to watch over us, and we know, and are the only Christian denomination that believes so, that angels are human. Our ancestors, people that haven’t even been born yet, are watching over us. Cheering us on. Mourning with us. Laughing with us. Giving me strength. Giving you strength. We’re never alone.
Jesus Christ, the Savior of the World, loves us. Each and every one of us. Despite anything we might do; despite anything we could do; despite anything we have done, he loves us with a perfect love that we can’t even wrap our minds around. At least, I can’t. The love he feels for me is pure. It is not affected by bias. It is not diminished because of something we did or said. It is perfect. It is always there. It is infinite, unmeasurable, without end, as vast as the entire cosmos, and we are all loved that much. I cannot even describe in these imperfect words just how much Jesus loves myself or any of you.
The words of a certain hymn spring to mind; Love one another, as Jesus loves you. Try to show kindness in all that you do. Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought, for these are the things Jesus taught.
What poor disciples are we if we don’t abide by those teachings? What a poor disciple am I when I take the Sacrament without any intent to try and do better, to, as Gordon B. Hinckley said, ‘try a little harder to do a little better,’?
When I think of “I can do all things through Christ,” I think of goals. And my ultimate goal is to be perfect. It’s a daunting one, but we have been commanded to “be ye therefore perfect”. Constant striving toward doing a little better each day will get us to perfect far faster than belittling ourselves, dragging ourselves down, and self-deprecating ourselves for our mistakes. We all make them. Our Heavenly Father has never said, “Completely annihilate your self-worth because you burned that batch of bread six weeks, four days, ten hours, and four minutes ago”, or “Berate yourself incessantly until you’re in tears because you forgot to turn on your blinker when making that right turn”.
Or, “Never forgive yourself because you said something inappropriate in a tense situation”, or “you reacted badly when everything went wrong.” I could go on, but I think my point has been made. Our goals, our strivings, our desires, are things to be reached for, destinations that we can go to on our journey through life. They aren’t stones to bash ourselves with, or sticks to beat ourselves with. They are what we can aim for.
Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can improve. We can do better. We can be forgiven. In the scriptures we can find guidance and suggestion that we can use to heal ourselves, or to learn how to better understand ourselves or others. We can learn and we can see very plainly that people making really big mistakes or really small mistakes is absolutely nothing new to humanity. The pride cycle that the Nephites and the Lamanites went through is one blaring example throughout the Book of Mormon of large mistakes.
In my life, I had a friend. He was constantly going through hardships, going through difficulties, through failed relationship after relationship and job after job, and he would come to me and my wife, then girlfriend, for advice and once we gave it, he ignored it, and I have watched him and his life tumble into further turmoil, but one of the largest turning points was when he decided that the Church was limiting him, and that if God truly loved him, he would not have to go through all this hardship. He turned his back on Christ, even though I know that Christ never turned his back on him. I have known this friend for many years, and I dearly hope that someday he will return to the Church.
I know that Christ will never turn His back on us. He will never let go of us. He will always be there for us. It is up to us to accept that help, or to let go of it. And sometimes we have to ask Christ for the help to accept his help. As bizarre as that might sound, we are sometimes so focused on proving, whether to ourselves, to family members, or to our employers or colleagues, that we can make it on our own, that we forget that we can ask for help. That’s the “strengthens” part mentioned earlier. It is fully within our power to ask for help; it is also fully within His power to grant us help. To strengthen us when we are weak; to guide us when we can’t find our way.
And sometimes, what we lose is ourselves. Our sense of being, our sense of purpose, our sense of individuality, it is through Him that we find ourselves once more. He who knows and loves us better and more than we ever can ourselves, and He has the keys to guide, find, and save us once more.
Once we are found, once we are saved, then what? We can do everything we can to help those around us. To make sure that they feel remembered, loved, cherished, that they are in an environment that promotes growth and kinship and love. We should make sure that our children, our spouses, our friends, whenever we’re with them, that we are representing our Savior. Jesus is a silent listener to every conversation we have. Are we representing him well? When we take the Sacrament, do we pay attention to the words?
They’re not just words that are said. We are taking upon ourselves the name of the Holy One of Israel. The King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the Prince of Peace. We are acting in Jesus’ name, taking his name upon us.
I dunno about you guys, but to me that’s kinda scary. I remember thinking as a child, “but if we’re supposed to act like Christ all the time, do we ever get to be ourselves?”
We aren’t being asked to sacrifice our individuality by taking upon ourselves His name. But we are being asked to act a certain way. Often times when people leave to serve missions and then return, we can notice personality changes in them. I’ve heard it said that their core, their most defining traits, are still there, but they’re often bettered by the mission experience rather than turned into some stuffy lemming in a suit coat or a skirt and blouse. Diversity is something that I think God celebrates in His children.
Still, it may seem daunting to some to take upon ourselves the name of Christ. But we’ve got hope. We are never given a commandment from God without some way to fulfill it. Or as the Scripture says,
And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do as the Lord has commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the Children of Men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing that he hath commanded them.
Whatever God says we can do, we can do it. We have to have faith, sometimes he makes us actually use the brains that he gave us to get things done, and sometimes we can’t do it alone, but I promise you that if God has said there’s a way to do it, there is a way.
I learned this personally in my teenage years, when I grappled with perhaps the biggest trial of my life thus far. It took me some time to seek out any kind of help, because at first I didn’t know what I was doing was wrong. Once I discovered that was I was doing was a sin, it nagged at me, an incessant reminder that I needed to repent. It still took me months to find help, and once I did, freeing myself was an undertaking that was daunting on every level.
I was addicted, and it wrestled with me. It took me nearly seven years to overcome it. It was an experience that I will be forever grateful for; but not something that I would ever want to go through again. It ruined relationships that I cherished, it lost me a few friends, it shaped my thinking and warped it until I was able to learn in a group setting how to undo some of the damage that had been done to my mind. It was a wily beast, an unsavory monster, a wicked tempter that came when I was at my lowest, tempting me when it thought I couldn’t resist it.
I tried many times to overcome it on my own, insisting through warped thoughts that I needn’t bother Jesus or Heavenly Father and that I could do this on my own. In my way of thinking, I didn’t want the help because I wanted to prove that I could do it with my own power. After failing repeatedly, some sense came to me and I abandoned doing things that way.
I did not overcome it by sheer willpower. I did not overcome it by wallowing in self-pity, or berating myself for my mistakes. In fact I found that when I did these things, it only made it easier to slip up once more. I overcame this because I got backup. I appealed to my King, my Father, my God, to save me; or to help me save myself. I owe everything I am to my Father in Heaven. Without Him, I was nothing. With Him, I’m at least something. But it wasn’t all just Him. I had to play a part.
As much as some may wish otherwise, God isn’t here to play Marionette with us. We can ask for help, we can appeal to Him, we can pray all night and day long, but unless we act; unless we decide for ourselves that we are going to follow God’s commandments; follow his guidance, follow his Prophets, follow his teachings, his words, it’s fruitless. Faith, without works, is dead. Unless that is all we can do. What’s the point of having a map and going somewhere unfamiliar if you don’t use the map? Unless the goal is to find adventure, which sometimes means getting helplessly lost, you should use the map!
One of the most important things that I learned was that I had to want to win. I couldn’t overcome my trials without some desire to better myself, for no one else but myself. Becoming better to be a better person for God was paramount; getting better because my family and friends wanted me to was important, but where was I in all that mix? Did I want to become better? It was a strange lesson for me to learn. I had thoughts like, “well what about being meek? Or being humble? Am I supposed to care about myself, or not?”
I discovered something that seems obvious and even a little dumb. You can care about yourself and your well-being without being prideful. It’s important that you care about yourself. It’s also sort of a balancing act, as much the rest of life is. You have to find the balance between caring for yourself and getting swallowed up in pride. Being perfect to me means finding a balance in all parts of your life, and relying and acting wholly on God and God’s commandments. As Ammon said,
11 But Ammon said unto him: I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.
12 Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.
13 Behold, how many thousands of our brethren has he loosed from the pains of hell; and they are brought to sing redeeming love, and this because of the power of his word which is in us, therefore have we not great reason to rejoice?
I don’t think God will come and instantly perfect us even if we ask nicely. We must be built up. And sometimes when we’re being built up, we reach a plateau. We can’t go any farther until we switch things up a bit, and unfortunately that may mean that we have to be stripped down, in the same manner that muscles are stripped down to be made stronger. Trials and temptations come to all of us. They can be avoided sometimes, but you’ll never avoid all of them, and you’re not supposed to. This is why we’re here. To learn, and to grow, from our trials and our mistakes and even the mistakes or trials of others.
It is always better for us to avoid some trials though, such as addictions. In overcoming it, I learned many valuable lessons. I became that much closer to what I want to be, to who I hope God wants me to be. But that doesn’t mean that I’d ever want to go through it again.
I might have rambled on a bit, so here’s a too-long-didn’t-listen for you;
I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. I have to make sure that what I’m doing is right, I have faith in God, I have to have the will and the desire, I have to ask for help and guidance, and I have to believe that I can do it. And then if all those line up, what can stop God?
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
High key part of me is dreading conference weekend cuz I KNOW someone (Oaks) is gonna say some SHEIT and I don't wanna deal with that and the feelings that come with it. I feel bad for saying it but it's true 🤷♀️
Chest dysphoria on Day 1 of conference weekend is a SICK joke. Here i am wishing I had broad shoulders and a flat chest but my spirit is female? >:( Pack it up. A gut punch would hurt less.
