I thought since I was struggling with this a bit, I figured others would be as well.
As a kid I almost always underperformed. No score, grades or feedback ever reflected my true worth and ability as a student. (undiagnosed learning disabilities are a bitch am I right?).
In elementary school I didn't read until the end of 2nd grade and was behind in math. All my teachers (who were mean and closed minded) thought I was stupid and I ended up repeating 4th grade.
In middle school I excelled in English far above my grade, but my ES instructor wanted to see more overall well-rounded scores so they only focused on that element.
In junior year of high school because of Spanish, Chemistry and Algebra 2, I had a 2.9 GPA and felt worthless as a person. I was completly convinced I wouldn't ever get into a good college. In senior year without those classes holding me back and with AP English and AP Bio, my GPA was 3.9.
My first exam score in college was a 90% which blew my mind. I actually at this point in time did not believe I had the intellect to ever attain a 90 on an exam and went to my professor to check she had done the right calculations.
Anyway, kids who have struggled in academics with learning disabilities are always written off. They start believing they won't amount to anything substantial because they beleive their grades reflect their worth as a human being. I was that kid. I was always used to underperforming and not suceeding to the standard I wanted to meet. Did I have a foundational flaw?
Now I got into a top grad program with an 11% acceptance rate on scholarship. It's difficult to wrap my head around the fact I deserve it. I almost can't beleive it because things like this dont happen to people like me. The weird ADHD Dyslexic? Please. You must be joking. Adjusting to the belief that I belong in a graduate academic space is difficult. There was always something wrong about me, but not anymore. I did it all by myself even when everyone said I couldnt, and thats the most important thing.