Love You Louder
A/N: Yeah..... I dunno. I'm kinda going through a lot at the moment but I have bits and pieces of stuff that I guess I'm deciding to start sharing? (Also about Commission for Confidence.... yeah idk lmaooooooo) Anyway idk if I'll make this a whole big thing or not but here's part of it (there's at least one other part to it, and I might change the title)
SOOOOO here we have a plus size/chubby/fat fem reader who has been dating Keigo Takami AKA Hawks for awhile now and they live together. There's canon divergence to appease my own brain lol. To be honest, many times while writing this I've gone "I'm not sure a 22 year old would do/say/think that" (and I'm only 27) but he still has his quirk soooooo to me I've just stretched it out a little, like imagine if everything happened but when the students were older, maybe in college, so most pro heros don't start until they're 20 or something. Frankly I'm putting too much thought into it because it doesn't truly matter because it's FICTION and it's not even really relevant to the story? Just something my brain is doing? ANYWAY LONG AUTHOR'S NOTE OVER SORRYYYYY ILYSM (and again, idk what this even is)
Content Warnings: unbalanced relationship dynamics, some swearing, currently some lightly suggestive themes, I definitely missed some stuff but here we go y'all
Keigo Takami (Hawks) x Plus Size! Fem Reader
Keigo hesitated in the foyer as he heard you and your friend on the phone further in the apartment. He clenched the bag of groceries as he heard what was being said.
“Doesn’t it upset you that he forgets? That he’s always busy with hero work and you fall through the cracks?” your best friend’s voice asked through the speaker.
“No,” you answered honestly, so honestly that Keigo’s heart clenched. “I’ve known that this would be the reality since the beginning.”
“Girl, what?”
“I knew from our first date that I’d never be first for him,” you explained. Keigo’s heart dropped out from his rib cage. “He didn’t do anything to make me feel this way. I just knew that is how it would be. Keigo tries, in his way, like how he gets me flowers and little trinkets and holds me, and I’m happy. He’s not home most nights and days, and yeah, it’s a little lonely, but you know I’ve always been lonely at heart. And I want to be here for him, when he is home, to comfort him and make sure he knows I love him, for him and not what he can do.”
“So you’re letting your boyfriend walk all over you and be as selfish as he wants,” your friend stated in an unamused tone.
“No, I’m not—”
“Yes, you are! Why does it always have to be you hurting? When will you get to be selfish?”
“I already am,” you cut off her tirade. “I am selfish. I’ve found this little spot where I can love him how he’s told me he wants. He doesn’t need me around, he’s never needed me. Honestly I hold him back, and yet I stay. Because I love him. Because I want to. Because I’m so selfish that I can’t cut him free. I don’t care about missed dates and anniversaries, about forgotten plans, or how he’s gone for days or weeks at a time sometimes without more than a text or call. I just care that he comes back at all. I am happy with just this. When we’re together, it’s better than anything else. I hold those memories close to me while he’s gone, when I feel alone. I’m content.”
There’s silence from the phone for a few moments. “Don’t you want more?”
You laughed a little. “I’d change things if I could, sure, but I can’t and that’s fine. How could I ask for more than what I’m already blessed with?”
“You’re fucking crazy.”
You laughed again. “We knew that already. Besides, do I need to remind you of the time you moved your entire—”
“OKAY,” your friend cut you off, while you giggled. “Let’s talk something else.”
Keigo slipped back out the door, deciding to go down the stairs and then back up so he could think about everything he’d heard.
Truthfully, it tore Keigo apart anytime he forgot anything involving you. He felt horrible about it but now that he was thinking about it, had he actually made any moves to change?
You hadn’t asked him to change either, he realized. Anytime he forgot, you would just smile at him, kiss him, and tell him that it wasn’t a big deal, that you were just happy to see him. Once or twice, near the beginning, he could’ve sworn he saw a flicker of sadness, disappointment maybe? But you reassured him that you were fine, that it was okay. He believed you were okay with it, especially judging by that conversation he’d heard. So why did everything feel so horrible, so disjointed?
He realized that he wasn’t okay with it. How could he have acted this way towards you? You were everything to him. It was your face that he pictured every night before he fell asleep, and the first that he pictured when he woke up in the morning. Your laugh echoed through his dreams. The memories and knowledge of your love had gotten him through countless hours of hero work, through every close call he had with death. How could he have done you so wrong? How could you be so understanding of it all? What can he do to be the person you deserve and how can he make you believe that you are first for him, that he needs you more than the oxygen in his lungs, despite his previous actions that appeared to show otherwise?
Keigo finally made it to the ground floor. He walked a brisk lap around the lobby before going back to the stairwell, his mind racing and his wings rustling.
Okay. He could change. He would change, for you. It didn’t matter that you never asked him to change. He wanted to, for you, because you deserved it.
A bit of sweat ran down the side of his face as he hurried up another flight of stairs. Keigo thought about all he was going to do to make it up to you, a determined, excited smile on his face even as his heart continued to ache with the echo of your phone call.
Keigo stood before the apartment door once more, finally. His wings rustled slightly as he steeled himself, the groceries tight in his grip. He opened the door and called out to you while he slipped his shoes off.
As always, Keigo heard your excited gasp and then the quick stomps of your feet as you raced through the apartment. You appeared before him in your classic black t-shirt and shorts, a bright smile on your face. He put the groceries on the floor.
Everything else melted away for Keigo as you now shyly walked the rest of the way up to him and wrapped your arms around his torso. His wings relaxed, all the tension in his body ebbed away. Your arms around him essentially washed everything negative down the drain.
As he buried his nose in your hair and breathed in, Keigo’s resolve solidified like steel.
You were his home, and he was going to be better for you. It would be easy, because it was for you. He’d give you the moon. And one day, the memories of his shortcomings would be faint and then gone, forgotten and buried by Keigo himself.
You pulled back from his chest but Keigo tightened his grip and buried his face in the crook of your neck. His hands held your hips tight.
“O-oh,” you squeaked a little, surprised. “Everything okay, Kei?”
“Yeah,” he muttered into your neck. “Just missed ya.”
A light giggle floated through his ears. “You were only gone for an hour, silly, we’ve been together nonstop for two days.”
“Yeah but before that I didn’t see you for a whole week,” he pouted, squeezing you a little.
You were quiet for a moment. Then, as Keigo had wanted and hoped, you relaxed fully into his hold, your breathing easing up. His heart tightened slightly at how long it took for you to fully relax.
How long had it been since he’d hugged you like this, for this long? The fact that he couldn’t immediately remember made his chest ache. Even before he’d left to get the groceries, he hadn’t been holding you like this, with his full attention. There was always something else on his mind pushing him forward, and while many were fueled by you, it wasn’t an excuse to neglect you. Even if you (somehow) didn’t see it that way.
“Did you get all the stuff?” you asked him quietly, amusement in your tone. “I can’t make dinner without it.”
“Yeah,” he murmured, still tucked into your neck. You smelled so good, all the time.
Wow, he really hadn’t taken the time to truly appreciate you in awhile, had he? You smelled the same as you always did, in a way that had been imprinted on him since you moved in, and yet he was suddenly remembering just how much he loved it. It was like his love for you, which always lived in his chest, had remembered it could speak so it decided to scream.
A low growl sound came from your stomach and Keigo froze just as you did. He felt your face heat up against his neck.
He couldn’t help it. He started to chuckle, then laugh.
You pulled back from him and crossed your arms over your stomach, a dramatic pout on your lips as you looked away from your boyfriend. Your stomach grumbled again and the pout wobbled as you fought not to laugh yourself.
Keigo’s laughter started to die down. Just as you looked at him and asked flatly, “You finished?” Keigo’s stomach let out its own growl, sending both of you into hysterics.
After a good minute or two laughing until tears streamed down both your faces, Keigo used a few feathers to fly the groceries into the kitchen. He took your hand and held it close, staring down at it. You watched him, confused but unbothered. The contact made his heart soar and your gaze on him was the same comfort as always, except… the weight of Keigo’s own self-expectations rested on his shoulders. He wasn’t worthy of that comfort, but he would be.
“C’mon, chickadee,” he poked one of your round cheeks gently, using his hold on your hand to lead you to the kitchen, “let’s get that dinner going.”
“Okay!” you chirped, and Keigo could hear that faint underlying confusion at his actions. But you weren’t rejecting him or his attention. You seemed to glow under it. Or maybe that was just you.
His feathers had already unpacked the groceries to their respective spots. You chuckled as you saw the red fluttering through the air, the chuckles growing as a few feathers darted over to brush your cheeks and lips.
“Keigo!” you laughed as more feathers swooped in, brushing and tickling your face and neck and collarbones. He made the feathers all move away and you let out a breath of relief. Except that breath was interrupted by Keigo himself as he did the swooping in, his hands cupping your cheeks before pressing your lips together.
You melted into the kiss almost immediately despite being caught off guard.
It was a shorter kiss than Keigo wanted because you pulled back after only a few seconds. Not too far, not out of his hold, but with enough space to speak and show him a serious look in your eyes.
“Keigo,” you began, your voice a bit breathy, “you know I love you but if I don’t eat some actual food soon, I will not be a pleasant person. Understand?”
“Crystal clear,” Keigo replied with a bright, cheeky grin. He pecked your lips one more time before moving back. “And I love you too.”
You hummed with amusement and slipped around him, your stomach brushing against him in that way that made his hands itch to hold it. But you went to the sink and washed your hands, saying over your shoulder, “It shouldn’t take too long for dinner, though.”
“Certainly not with both of us in the kitchen!” Keigo beamed, waiting next to you to wash his hands. He noted your hand washing slow just a touch, as if you were thinking, before you finished and moved aside. The pro hero began to wash his hands under the water.
“You’re going to help me cook?” you asked him as you dried your hands.
Keigo glanced at you but he couldn’t quite see your face. “Is that a problem?” he asked lightly. He had to keep things light if he didn’t want to freak you out. He turned the water off.
“No, not at all!” you assured him. You turned to him, a nervous smile on your face. “It’s just… been awhile since we’ve cooked together. I’m...happy,” you admitted shyly, looking down with that nervous smile again.
“Yeah?” Keigo stepped closer and lifted your chin with two fingers. Your eyes were as big and bright as your grin when they met his and Keigo felt his heart start to sing and tap dance like that frog from those old American cartoons. “I’m happy too,” he said with a grin.
Your smile spread into something more solid, less nervous. His heart did a back-flip as you pressed a soft kiss to his lips, and then one to his nose. You rounded it off with a kiss to his forehead before you reached around and handed him a towel to dry his hands.
Late afternoon turned to evening as Keigo cooked in tandem with you. It was as easy as ever to joke and talk with you. He’d almost forgotten how easy it was to fluster you and every shy smile, every blush and giggle, slipped securely behind his ribs. They wrapped around his heart and crystallized into his resolve. He felt absolutely giddy about becoming the absolute best partner he could be to you, the one you deserved to have, because you were his everything.
Keigo wasn’t going to disappoint you again.
The first step Keigo decided to take was to get you flowers. You’d once admitted to him that your previous partners never got you flowers, and he had tried to get you a nice bouquet every other month (although it had been three since the last bouquet...), but he had to start somewhere.
(to be continued...)
A/N: again idk lmao
