Ian shut the door to his room behind him as you hopped on his bed, staring at him as he nervously fidgeted with the buttons on his sleeves. “What, Ian? You’re starting to freak me the fuck out.” You placed your hands beside each of your thighs, clutching the edge of his mattress.
“Alright, alright,” Ian took a deep breath in and leaned against his dresser, starting to mess with his belt loops, “I’m trusting you with this information, y/n. It cannot leave this room.” You stared at him, he stared back, and you gently nodded. Your brother cleared his throat and a quiet admittance left his mouth. “I’m gay.” You paused a moment and stood up, giving him a hug he desperately needed.
“It’s good to know I’m not the only one in this house.” You whispered in his ear as he hugged you back just as tight. It took a moment to process what you’d just told him, and by the time you’d let go, he’d grabbed you once more, feeling more accepted than ever. “It’s our secret.” You chuckled.
Imagine hiding your sexuality from Reddington because you don’t know how he’d react to your crush on him. (Male!Reader)
“I’m not as old-fashioned as you think I am. Or as unobservant.”
You felt your body stiffen, your eyes widening a fraction as you lifted your head to stare at Reddington. “E-excuse me?”
“Just because I’m a criminal doesn’t mean I can’t be a progressive human being,” he continued, meeting your gaze with mild interest, a faint smile on his lips. “You have no need to fear me, [f/n].”
You blinked, struggling to form your thoughts into coherent words. “I don’t fear you,” you stammered out. You got the feeling you knew what he was talking about, but you knew better than to assume with him. Raymond Reddington was a tricky man and a very good liar. It didn’t help that being around him made you feel like your heart was going to beat out of your chest.
He arched a brow, a flicker of amusement dancing across his features. “You should. Though not for the reasons you think.”
You swallowed, trying to subtly wipe your palms off on your pant legs. “So you don’t have any problems that I’m gay?” you asked at last, finally forcing out the words that had been stuck in your throat since you had first come face-to-face with the man.
The slight curl to his lips blurred the lines between smile and smirk as a laugh rumbled through his chest and puffed its way out. The sound made your chest feel light and fluttery. “Unlike some, I have few qualms about where I take my pleasure. I’m not some mob boss meathead clinging to archaic prejudice out of fear.”
The words burst out of your chest before you can stop them, borne of hope and relief and a thousand maybes. “Would you, uh, would you maybe like to grab a coffee sometime?”
His smile grows slowly, the expression filled with a level of satisfaction you hadn’t expected, “I thought you’d never ask.”
Summary: (Eddie Brock x Ace!Fem!Reader) When an ace girl moves in with Eddie Brock, who knows what will ensue.
Warnings: asexuality discussions, hurtful comments towards LGBT community, fight scenes, cheating references, angst, but honestly its just a really soft fic so fluff
Word Count: 8727
A/N: I have come back from the writing hiatus! I am here so please please pleeeease enjoy this fic that has taken weeks for me to write. It is my little baby that I have poured my heart and soul into. Please please leave feedback!!!
You were desperate. Not desperate for love, or dick. But actually pretty desperate for a place to live in. It had been weeks of you searching for a cheaper place, due to you flatmate having give you an ultimatum, which was pay more than half or leave. You said fuck that and that caused you to be at the front door of an apartment, knocking on it to ask the tenant about the extra room they were advertising.
When a young man opened the door, you were slightly shocked by the messy sight. He had a plain t shirt on but could see patches of sweat, and his hair was ruffled along with his eyes almost swollen shut from lack of sleep.
Of balanced by the sight, you stuttered, “Was this huh, the place offering the extra room to be rented out?”
He cleared his throat, trying to tame his hair, and giving his eyes a little rub. “Huh, oh yeah, this is it. You want to rent it out?”
“Yeah… uh. Is there like any requirements or like rules or anything?”
“No.” he said simply, his eyes staring into yours.
“Well, um…” slightly confused by the situation, “Would you maybe give me the tour so I could decide?”
As if realizing how weird he was acting, he stuck his hand out, “Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. Name’s Eddie Brock and I can most definitely give you a tour.”
Shaking his hand, you smiled, “Thank you, I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”
He led you into his flat, and while you peered around, he tried to clean up some trash scattered around.
“I uh, yeah sorry about the mess. I’ve had a rough couple of weeks. Me and my, huh, fiance just broke up.” he said, clearing his throat while rushedly throwing some dirty dishes in the sink.
“Oof.” you said, grimincing slightly, before giving him a reassuring smile. “Everyone has some shitty weeks right? Which bedroom would be mine?”
“Oh yeah, yeah. I’ll show you.” He wiped his hands on his shirt, before walking down the short hallway.
Gesturing the the first door, “This is my room and,” pointing to the door across from it, “this is the only bathroom.”
“Only one?” you asked, “Well, if I end up moving in, let's not sneak peeks of each other ‘kay?” you joked about.
Eddie let out a loud laugh, and if you were being honest with yourself, it was a really cute laugh, like an actual giggle. He continued, “Sounds good to me” before leading you to the third and final door. “This would be your room” opening it and letting you walk in.
It was plain, and of decent size. A window let sunlight in, and a bed along with a small table was the only furniture, but when you saw the closet size it wasn’t too worrisome. Looking around the room, you nodded to yourself, imaging what it would look with you things in it.
Looking out the window, you asked again, “You had no requirements?”
“Nope, just that you would pay rent on time.”
Turning towards him, with a big smile, excitedly “ Then I think I’ll take it”
*****
A couple days later, you had spent the afternoon moving into the apartment completely, and settled in. Eddie had to help you move the mattress into the room. And that was quite the hassle.
With you on one end and Eddie on the other, you two held it upright, and tried to maneuver it through the skinny hallways. Around a tight corner, you shouted at Eddie to stop, but he couldn’t hear you due to the mattress falling against your face, muffling the sound, and pushed you further back hitting the side table that had a glass vase on it, the very reason you told him to stop. In the corner of your eye you saw the vase wobble slightly, you letting out a muffled ‘no!’ before it tilted to the side, falling and shattering on the floor.
At the sudden sound Eddie stopped pushing, and let out a little ‘oh shit’. He peeked his head around his side of the mattress and saw the position you were in, mattress in your face, your hair a mess, and legs all crooked trying to keep the mattress up and balanced.
With a loss of focus, the mattress slipped from your tired hands falling down, causing you to tumble forward. You splayed out on the floor, falling on top of the mattress that now laid flat on the floor due to Eddie dropping it as well. After resting with you face on the floor for a second, you sheepishly looked up to see Eddie, hands on his knees from laughing so hard he had to gasp for breathes. You grumbled at his laughter, but slowly started to giggle along with him. The two of you quickly evolved into cackling laughter, both lost in the moment, forgetting the mattress and the broken vase on the floor.
After the two of you were out of breath, he held out his hand, and you took it, helping yourself up from the floor. Wiping a tear from his eye, he giggled, “Fuck, I haven’t laughed like this in what seems like forever.” His face fell slightly at his own words, memories obviously going through his head.
You lost your smile when you realized it must have been because of the break up he recently went through, so trying to lighten the mood you joked, “Well with me in the apartment, expect more laughs because I’m a totally klutz!”
He nodded, a smile on his face again, “Yeah I can see that!” gesturing to the glass shards on the floor.
Looking at them, you felt your cheeks heat up, “Yeah, about that, I’m really sorry…”
“It’s okay. They only held my Grandmother’s ashes.”
“WHAT?” you let out, shocked, whipping your face towards his, “Oh my god, I am so sorry!” covering your mouth in horror at what you did.
Eddie started to laugh at your expression before getting out, “No no, I’m only screwing with you, it was only a lousy gift I got”
“Oh you fucking asshole!” you laughed, punching in playfully in the arm.
He shook his head , grinning smugly, “You are gonna be a great flatmate. Not only are you a klutz, you’re gullible. Perfect for pranks” he winked, already thinking up some plans
“Oh goodness, this isn’t gonna be good, is it?” you asked, though your heart sped up excitedly slightly at the idea of a prank war.
He giggled, man you loved his giggle, “I’m just joking, don’t worry.” winking, but continued “Or am I?”
That resulted in you pushing him lightly, shaking your head at his antics, “Let’s just get this mattress in my room, so I can calm down from the heart attack you gave me about your possible grandmother’s fucking ashes.” but a smile graced your face,
*****
After the mattress was in place and you had settled completely into the room, Eddie offered the idea of having dinner together to learn more about each other.
With two big plates of spaghetti in front of you both, he had explained the disaster of his last month, how he lost the love of his life, and how he lost all credibility along with his job.
Hearing it all, you had patted his shoulder reassuringly, “Yeah, that sucks dude. Everybody's gotta have their tragic love story.”
“If everyone’s got one, what’s yours?” he pondered, cocking his head.
“Well, um…” you thought about what you’d say then continued, “I was in a relationship for a long time. I’m a big romantic, and I honestly thought he was the love of my life, but um… Well we were getting more serious but I wouldn’t put out. The thing is I’m asexual, I don’t enjoy or even like the idea of sex.” you paused looking up to see if he was disgusted or at least confused, when he just nodded, signaling for you to continue, showing his understanding, you calmed down, and continued.
“After explaining to him how I felt, he tried to hid his disgust and move on. It didn’t really work, and he kept trying to convince me asexuality wasn’t real. We fought a lot after that, and he even cheated on me at one point. Well thinking back on it, it was probably more then once, couldn’t keep his dick in his pants apparently. But yeah, it ended badly. But uh, I’m fine!” you tried to smiled, showing you had moved on, but it was difficult.
“That’s awful.” Eddie grumbled, shaking his head in anger. “I’m sorry that asshole put you through that.”
“Well like I said, everyone has their stories.” shrugging your shoulders.
After having such a light hearted mood with moving the mattress to this depressing sideshow of a dinner, you cleared your throat, “Welp, let’s both move on and not give them a second though, eh? This is getting fucking depressing.”
“Ha, well you know what would help?” you cocked a head at his question, but when he had gotten up and pulled two pints of ice cream from the freezer, a huge grin spread on your face.
“Ice cream!” you let out excitedly, when he handed you a spoon and a container.
He lifted his pint up, “To not being ‘fucking depressing’ anymore”
You lifted yours, clinking your pint to his, “To not being ‘fucking depressing’ anymore”
For the rest of the night, only ice cream and laughs were shared.
*****
A couple of days later, walking out of your room, early in the morning, you saw Eddie for only a second, as be was dashing out the door, muffin in his mouth as he mumbled around his food that he was going job searching. You waved at him wishing him good luck before the door slammed and you could hear he stumbling down the hallway.
After making breakfast for yourself, you situated on designing the mural you had been hired to do. The city of San Francisco had hired you for multiple projects, mostly adding murals to parks and such, but currently you were designing a new city logo that would be plastered over a big empty wall on the side of City Hall.
Hours into the sketching and research, Eddie blasted through the door, startling you and almost causing you to spill the mug cradled between your hands.
At your shocked expression he muttered an apology before storming past you and walked into his room slamming the door shut.
Well that was odd, job searching must not have gone well
After some internal debate, you got up and knocked softly on the door.
“Eddie, you okay in there?”
Through the door you heard a huff, before footsteps approached. Eddie opened the door, eyes casted downward, his shoulders slumped. With a sigh, he mumbled, “It's been a really long day.”
You smiled up to him sympathetically, “Well my dude, you're in luck because I was just about to make my second batch of hot cocoa and I might just make you a mug if I see a smile from you”
He smiled weakly, trying his best to give you a sarcastic grin, and you nodded, approving his effort.
“Well Eddie, that was one shitty smile but as you said it was an extremely bad day, I'll make you a mug.”
Leading him into the kitchen he slouched down in a chair at the counter watching as you gathered the ingredients. When you started to pull out real chocolate among other things, he looked at you, prompting an explanation.
“I have a very special hot cocoa recipe. I don't deal with that package fuckery. I make the homemade real shit.”
He giggled a little at that, but cocked an eyebrow when he saw you pouring coffee creamer into your mug.
“What?” You shrugged, “I like a lot of sugar! Do you want some?” Handing him his mug and offering the creamer.
“No, no thanks” waving it off. “Hot chocolate is sweet enough on its own for me.”
As you sat down next to him, you both took a couple sips from your mugs.
Side eyeing him, you saw how he was slumped forward, chin resting on his hands. Man he looked awfully sad, yet somehow extremely handsome. His eyes held a certain look that was quite noticeable.
Shaking off the thoughts, you asked, “So, wanna talk about today?”
“Not really” but you gave him a second, waiting to see if he would continue. And he did, “Actually today wasn't just bad. Today was fucking awful.”
You nodded, encouraging him along. You were always a strong believer in talking with others. Liked to think of yourself as a good listener to those in need.
“I saw her today.” He sipped his mug, his eyes deep in thought. “I was networking. Trying to find someone who would hire me despite my history. I saw her walking down the street. And like the idiot I am, I tried talking to her. She wanted nothing to do with me.” He rested his head against the counter in defeat.
You rubbed his back, showing your support. After a while of you humming as you slowly moved your fingers across his broad back, he sat up again, smiling at you with his tired eyes.
“Thank you for this. I haven't really had anyone to talk about these things with.”
You pat his shoulder, before taking your last sip of cocoa “Gotta be sad every once in a while. Plus, what are roommates for?”
*****
After getting home from a long day of painting you saw Eddie slumped over at the kitchen table, looking at a newspaper gloomily.
With a big smile on your face, you yelled out “Hey Eddie!”
He looked up at you, grimacing when he saw how excited you were. “What's got you so chiper?”
“Oh I don't know…” Twirling your hair, “maybe it's the fact that I just got myself a date tonight!”
“Ahh, well at least one of us is gonna get some tonight. Oh wait, nevermind, none of us are getting anything still” he giggled a little at his joke, causing your smile to grow a bit better. “Well dove, have fun, and stay safe”
“Thanks Eddie! And maybe I could try to set you up with someone, yeah? Help you move on?”
“Yeah, yeah…” he waved you off, “Go and get ready”
Rushing into the bathroom, looked at your face, flinching when you realized how much paint you had managed to get on your face and in your hair. And realizing Eddie just saw the mess you were. Quickly you got in the shower, getting all the paint off. In your towel you walked across the hall to your room, looking to see if Eddie was still at the table. He was, and now he didn't even have his eyes open. He'd fallen asleep.
So much for job hunting through the newspaper
Somehow, you pulled together an outfit fit enough for the date, and ran back to the bathroom to throw on some makeup. You squealed a little but when you saw the wet mess that was your hair, and felt your hair skip a beat when you saw that you were running out of time.
“Eddie!” You called out, hoping it would wake him up. “Can you do hair?!”
Groggily, he rubbed his eyes, appearing in the doorframe. “I can try”
His eyes lit up slightly when he saw your outfit, “Nice choice” he said, nodding in approval at the black high heels you had on.
His hands when to your hair, his fingers sliding through to your scalp to ruffle up the wet strands. And if you were being honest with yourself, his hands felt amazing. You tried not to hum in happiness at the feeling as he looked in the mirror trying to decide what to do.
“How much time do you have left?” He asked, contemplation written all over his face.
Sheepishly, you muttered “10 minutes…”
“10 minutes?! Well fuck… okay then let's do the impossible.”
You smiled up to him as he pulled out a blow dryer and a brush and getting started on your hair.
Every now and then, you would glance up and try to peek at what he was doing. He'd reprimand you, saying it wasn't done, but once you caught sight of him with bobby pins in between his lips, his eyes deep in concentration, staring at your hair. It drew your attention to his plump lips and you couldn't help but admire how soft that might just feel.
Jolting you from your thoughts, he put his hands up in victory, “Finished! You can look now”
Looking up, you saw he out it in an elegant bun, braided woven into it.
Turning around, you quickly hugged Eddie, “Thank you! You're such a life saver!” He hugged you back, his strong arms wrapping around your back, before you dashed away to grab your purse.
“Bye Eddie! Thanks again, see ya tonight!”
He smiled at you one last time as you ran out the door, before you closed it he called out “Use protection!”
You let out a laugh, peeking your head behind the door, “My aceness is my protection” sending him a wink before shutting the door.
*****
Hours later, you unlocked the door to the apartment. Quietly, you tried to open it without making any noise. As stealthily as you could, you managed to get to the kitchen. Letting out a sigh you
Let your purse drop on the counter, pouring yourself a glass of wine and collapsing on the couch.
Groaning, you thought about the past few hours, dropping your head to rest on the back of the couch, staring at the ceiling.
From the hallway, Eddie cleared his throat, leaning against the frame, with his arms crossed.
“Didn’t go well?”
You glanced at him before looking back up at the ceiling. “Yeah, not so good.”
He shuffled to the recliner, before prompting you to continue, “What happened? You were so excited”
“It just… I wouldn’t… we didn’t click.” you muttered.
Eddie just nodded, but wouldn’t let himself think about his relief at your statement. He hummed, thinking of what he could do, then an idea popped in his head.
“Oh, I know what we’re gonna do!”
At his excited tone, you looked at him, watching as he got up and fiddled with the TV, grabbing the remote and turning on Netflix.
Cocking your head, you asked, “What are we watching?”
“I don’t know.” Eddie said, smirking slightly.
“Then why did yo-” you were interrupted when Eddie dropped a pair of dice in your hand. “Huh? What are these for?”
He plopped down on the couch next to you, throwing an arm behind you, resting on the couch, “Roll the dice.”
“Why?”
“Just do it” He chuckled as you rolled them on the coffee table, rolling a 2 and a 6.
You looked at him, confusion still written on your face, “Well weirdo, I rolled a 2 and 6.”
He hummed, before grabbing the remote and getting on the main Netflix. “Just watch” he said simple, as he clicked down twice, then clicked to the left six times, landing on T.V show, “Now we have a show to watch.”
“Ha” you giggled, “All that to pick a show?”
“Well, I have found that people can’t make decisions to save their lives. Hence the dice roll.”
Nodding, you grinned, “I think I like it.”
“Good” he grinned back, settling further into the couch, sliding slightly closer to you. You could feel his warmth radiating from his body, and subconsciously scooted closer to him, tugging up your legs.
“Well let’s get this shit started” you said, as he clicked the play button.
*****
The weekend hit, both you and Eddie heading out for a long day at work. You had a new commission through a nearby city, and Eddie was starting his first day at his new job. Before work you always made yourself a big travel mug of hot chocolate, but seeing how frantic Eddie was, running around getting ready, you decided to pour him one as well.
With a grin, you wrote down on a sticky note a small corny joke saying “Why did the elephant step on the marshmallow? Because he didn’t want to fall in the hot cocoa!” along with a little doodle of an happy elephant, and stuck it on the top, before leaving the apartment, yelling goodbye to Eddie.
It left a smile on your face for the next hour, wondering if he liked it. And boy, did he have the biggest grin plastered on his face when he saw the note. He folded it carefully, slipping it into his wallet before chugging a few mouthfuls of cocoa, smiling wide at the taste, and dashing out the door to start his day as well.
Both of your days flew by, thoughts of being able to go home and relax giving you energy to finish the day. With a huff, you unlocked the door to the apartment, stumbling in, covered in splatters of paint, your hair a mess. Eddie looked up from the kitchen, and snorted when he saw you.
“Good God woman! You are an absolute mess” he snickered, pouring a second mug of coffee for you. Dropping your bags at the door, you walked over to him. “Ha ha.” you laughed sarcastically, “but at least I’m a sexy mess” you joked, before grabbing the mug from him a take a long sip.
At your words, he shuffled slightly, clearing his throat, as hints of pink warmed his cheeks. Shaking it off, you ignored his odd behavior, thanking him for the mug.
He smiled, “Of course. Plus I loved the little note this morning.”
Looking down at your hands, you grinned, “Well, I like to doodle. And I like to make people happy. Sometimes I try to do it at the same time, so expect more from me.” you winked at him.
He grinned back to you, his eyes twinkling, “I’m looking forward to it.”
You looked a little too long into his eyes, held by the brightness of them, and probably having a dopey looking smile on your face, before clearing your throat and looking away.
“Oh!” he said, remembering something, “I had this idea, what if we did a Sunday breakfast tradition? I don’t work Sundays, and I know you usually take them off so I was thinking what if we did made breakfast together every Sunday morning.”
You looked at him in surprise before answering, “That sounds lovely. Yet another reason why you’re such a better roommate.”
“I said for you to stop calling me that!”
“Oh come on, I’m just teasing!” you defending, giggling at his grumpy face.
“Well…” he drawled out, “I would prefer you to start calling me a friend instead.”
You froze, your giggling stopped immediately, looking to see if he was just screwing with you, but when you saw sincerity in his eyes, a grin widened on your face, until it seemed like it couldn’t get any bigger.
“You wanna be bestiesssss?” you squealed out, winking at him.
“Oh forget it.” he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. You eyes flickered down, seeing the muscles flexing slightly. Forcing them back up to his face, you giggled at his look of annoyance.
“Well sorry Eddie, but you just got yourself a best friend!” You jumped up from the chair, and launched yourself into his arms, forcing him to hug you. After some hesitation, he eased into hugging you back, even pulling you closer by tightening his arms around you back and nestling his chin into the side of your neck. You stayed there for a second, your head leaning against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, your arms around his neck.
He hummed, pulling away from you, “If I get hugs like that all the time, I officially declare you the best friend in the world.”
“I might not have sex, but I sure give the best fucking hugs possible.” you smirked, pulling apart.
You blew him a kiss, sending a wink his way before yawning a little, covering your mouth, “Welp, I’m caput. Gonna turn in, but I’m excited to do breakfast tomorrow!”
“Sleep tight dove.” Eddie sighed slightly, as you closed your door, his heart muddled and confused.
*****
With a start, you woke up, the light blinding washed over your face. You groaned, pulling yourself up. A shiver racked your body as you realized the temperature of the room. It was way too low for your taste, so you went into the hallway to investigate. Sleep still in your eyes, hair a crunchy mess, and a blanket wrapped tight around your arm, trailing behind you like a coat. You wandered into the main room, to see Eddie in some work clothes, and a tool belt hung low on his waist.
He hadn’t seen you yet, giving you a chance to ogle him. His dirty fingers were messing with some wires, and you realized he was trying to fix the heater in the cabinet. Bending over, his butt stuck out, and his shirt rolled up his back slightly. A tattoo slightly revealing itself. Eddie was making an awful amount of noises, grunts and curses spewing from his mouth as he remained unaware of his audience.
A smile sprung to your face, and you had to resist from giggling, as he let out a loud “fuck!”, before whispering to himself, “hey, she’s sleeping be quiet dude”
He rolled his sleeves up further before sticking his hands in the cabinet again. As his arms were trying to shift a pipe, his arms had tensed, veins popping slightly, the tattoos lining his arms moving fluidly with his movements. You admired the muscles, and while nothing could get you to have sex with him, you wanted to cuddle and kiss the living hell out of him right now.
Shaking off the trail of thought, you cleared your throat, and knocking on the wall lightly, alerting Eddie to your presence.
“Oh hey!” he said, wiping his hands on his jeans as he got up. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
You shook your head, “Oh no, you didn’t, but the cold did”
“Yeah…” Eddie scratched his head sheepishly, “I was trying to fix that, but I’ve almost got it, so we should expect warmth within the hour.”
Nodding, “okay, well you know, for our first Sunday breakfast, I can make it while you fix it?”
“That sounds good to me!” Eddie smiled, already excited at the idea of breakfast, now especially because you were making it.
Ditching the blanket, you grabbed on of Eddie’s hoodies from the couch, before walking into the kitchen. Grabbing some ingredients, you called out to Eddie, “Does waffles sound good?”
“Yeah, he said, but when he looked up, his mouth hung open.
You froze at his face, but gesturing to his hoodie, “Oh I’m sorry, I thought it would be okay…”
He cleared his throat, before smiling, slightly embarrassed, “No no, I was just surprised how cute you looked in it. Keep on wearing it.”
“Oh okay.” you said simply, but couldn’t keep the smile from growing on your face. You turned to the stove, your back to Eddie, not able to see the growing smile on his face as well.
During breakfast, with the heater fixed and working again, the two of you goofed around at one point, you threw a grape at him, but he playfully caught it in his mouth. It was a huge giggling mess, the two of you, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Both of your waffles were stacked with whipped creme. Yours was, admittedly, a little highers then Eddies. You were a fan of sugar after all.
Popping a grape in your mouth, you looking sideways to see a look of contentment on Eddie’s face, “So Eddie…”
“Yes Y/N?”
“You seem to be doing really good. Like a lot better then when I first opened that door.”
He laughed, “Yeah! I remember that! I wasn’t expecting any prospective renters, and I was a mess, all sad and shit.”
You shrugged, taking another bite of your waffles, “Love does that to ya.”
“Yup. Well, we’ve come through the other side haven’t we!”
You raised a mug, “As I’ve said before to no longer being ‘fucking depressing’” he clinked the mug to yours, before sighing contently.
“Dove, much of this should be attributed to you. Having you as a roommate and now friend has been probably the best thing in my life. You dragged me out of a dark time.”
Warmth crept to your cheeks at his words, a smile gracing your face, “Happy to help”
He continued to hold eye contact with you, his eyes staring into the depths of your being before he chuckled slightly, and grabbed another grape and threw it at you this time. It hit your nose, and he bellowed out a laugh at your shocked face. “Hey! Mister, don’t start a food fight you can’t win!”
“Yeah?” he whispered leaning in, his face close to yours, “Watch me”
With his face so close to yours distracting you, he sneakily grabbed the whipped cream bottle, and squirted some on the top of your head.
You yelped at the sound, grabbed the top of your head, and when you pulled your hand away, it covered with the white creme. Looking up to Eddie you shocked face morphed into a evil smile.
Quickly, you slid your hand across his face wiping it across his cheek.
A look crossed his face, before it settled into a smirk, “Oh dove, you don’t know what you just started.” before he lunged at you with the can again.
Getting out of the chair, and running from him, you yipped in surprise. The rest of the morning consisted of lots of whipped cream. And in the most innocent way possible.
*****
Beaming, you practically skipped into the apartment. You had another date, and while you weren’t too excited due to your confused heart at the moment, you found him on a dating app and thought he had some promise.
You called out for Eddie, but with no response, you assumed he wasn’t home. Walking to the bathroom, you opened the door to reveal a completely buck naked and wet Eddie. Your phone fell from your hand as you stood shocked, mouth wide open it could catch flies. The scream that came from Eddie was so high pitched it shook you from your daze, and started to giggle as he made a mad dash for a towel, wrapping it around his waist. Your giggled turned into heavy laughter, cradling your stomach as Eddie stood there, miffed.
Between gasping for air, you got out, “You- your scream… Was so funny!”
“Yeah yeah” he grumbled, but not before a smile cracked on his face, and he soon joined in your giggles.
“Have you ever hear of locking the bathroom door when you shower?”
“Well I thought I was home alone…” he shook his head, water droplets falling from his hair, laughing as he adjusted the towel, making sure it was tied good enough, “Did you like what you saw?” he teased, already over the whole thing.
“Ha ha.” you laughed sarcastically, “Everyone talks about how size matters, but my ace ass never understood.”
He giggled that adorable giggle of his, “Damn it” he teased in disappointment.
“Well…” you pretended to think, rubbing your chin, “I did see a pretty good ass though. And those I can appreciate!”
A blush crept over his cheeks before he smiled, “Alright, alright, now get out.” he pushed you lightly out of the bathroom.
When he went to close the door again, you asked, “Wait!” cocking your head to the side, and glancing down at his crotch, twirling your hair with your finger playfully, “Can I have one more peek?”
“Agh, women!” he groaned out, “No more shows for you. You aceness doesn’t let you appreciate this beauty!” he guestered to his crotch, before sending you a wink, and shutting the door in your face.
A huge smile rested on your face, before yelling, “Hurry up in there, I have a date to get to!” walking away.
You didn’t see the smile on Eddie’s face fall at your words.
*****
“How was it?!” Eddie asked. You could hear slow music being played but it barely registered in your mind, when you walked back into the apartment from your date. You looked at him, plastering on the best fake smile you could give but when he saw your red puffy eyes and tear streaked face, his smile fell immediately “What happened?” he demanded, standing from the couch.
You tried to wave him off, “I’m fine I’m fine. See?” you tried your best to smile, but tears slid down your face, and you had to choke back a sob.
“Oh dove, come here come here” He guided you to the couch, wrapping an arm around your shoulder pulling you closer, “What happened? Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”
“No no…” you whimper, shaking, but trying to wipe away your tears. “He wanted to- He… I told him I was asexual and he called me a fr- freak.” you sobbed out, tears streaming down your face again with vengeance.
“Oh god, no, dove. You’re not a freak. You are a kind and beautiful soul. You just happen to be ace, and that is okay.”
You nodded into his chest, trying to make yourself agree with him. You accepted yourself, it’s been a long time since an asshole has gotten to you like this, but this time just seemed like too much.
His warmth enveloping you as he pulled you off the couch and into his arms. Silently, he tightening his arms around you, slowly rocking you side to side. Soft music played in the background as the tears flowed unrelenting down your face. Eddie ran a hand into your hair, holding your head closer, as you buried your face into his chest. He hummed the tune, the vibration rattling through your bodies, calming your crying heart. You clung onto him, desperate for his touch, your arms held onto his waist tightly, tears soaking his shirt. His scent swamped your nose, a wave of calm washing over you.
Slowly, the rocking and the steadiness of him slowed your crying. You took in a shaking breath, starting to rock along with Eddie’s movements, until you started to fully slow dance. Taking small steps, you let the rhythm of his humming guide you, soaking in the serenity that he was creating. You loosened your arms from his waist, and wrapped your hands around his neck, as he shifted his arms to fully wrap around your lower back.
With your tears finally dried, you whispered quietly, “Thank you.”
At your voice, it broke Eddie’s heart even more, but he put a smile on his face, kissing the top of your head, “Anytime dove. Anytime.”
You snuggled your head back into his chest, humming softly, as you and Eddie continued to sway.
*****
Days past, but then disaster struck. The heater broke, and this time Eddie couldn’t fix it. You were standing behind him, shivering, wrapping your arms around yourself. “What do you mean he won’t be here until tomorrow?”
“The landlord said he wouldn’t be able to get a guy here until noon tomorrow”
“Fuuuuck” you let out slowly, “This is gonna suck, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” he nodded, already reaching for his hoodie, slipping it on. By putting his arms up, you saw a glimpse of his belly above his lowly slung jeans.
Your breathe had hitched, before you turned abruptly, “Then I’m gonna make a huge ass pot of cocoa right now.”
“Please do! Thank you!” he yelled after you.
So there you sat, bundled to the top of your head with blankets, in one of Eddie’s hoodies, sipping from the hug mug. The apartment had cooled dramatically throughout the hours. And the cold weather outside felt like it was leaking in from the poorly insulated windows.
Holding it between your hands you tried to keep your body heat to yourself, cradling into yourself. Eddie sat next to you, his knees tucked under him with a fuzzy blanket draped over his lap. You were watching Netflix, trying to past the time. It was late into the night, but both of you knew that you wouldn’t be able to sleep with it being this cold.
When your eyes started to droop, you turned to Eddie, “I’m gonna turn in. But I’m gonna take one more blanket and hope I don’t freeze to death sometime during the night.”
“Okay” he said, a yawn interrupting him, “I think I’m gonna as well.”
Walking to bed, you somehow had woken up more, and when you collapsed in bed, all you felt was the cold. The sheets were warming up from your body, all you felt was the cold being soaked up by you. And the number of the blankets over you were helping as much as you wanted. It seemed like hours had past, of you in fetal position trying to warm up slightly, but sleep seemed just as far away as it had when you fell in bed.
Looking at the clock, you let out a groan when you saw the time. Hours had past.
You muttered, “Screw it” before you grabbed a couple blankets and shuffled out of your room. Walking slowly to Eddie’s door, you opened it with a low creak. Popping your head in there, you whispered into the dark room, “Eddie? You awake?”
You heard a rustle in the sheets before Eddie responded, “Yeah, you okay?”
“Not really. I can’t fall asleep.” you walked into the room, the moonlight casting a soft light on your features. “I was wondering, if I could sleep with you? For um, warmth”
Eddie cleared his throat, before throwing back the sheets, “Of course, come on in.”
You plopped into the bed, throwing your blankets over the two of you. Sliding under the sheets, Eddie immediately pulled you closer, his arm over your shoulders. You slid your hands around his midsection, and he let out a little yelp.
“Good god dove! Your hands are freezing!” he grabbed your hands with his before cupping them and blowing warm air over them.
“Sorry!” you whispered, sighing slightly at the warmth spreading over your hands, but now trying to avoid him due to causing him even more coldness.
“Oh come here” he groaned. He put more of his hands around your hips, pulling you right to him with a huff. Like it was instinct, you clung to his side like a koala, lifting a leg so it would go between his, and wrapping your arms around his, fingers resting against his chest. Warmth was radiating from his body.
“Mhf, that’s better” he mumbled as he started to dance his fingertips along your arm, tucking his head closer to yours, so his face was in your hair, and took a big whiff. “You know, I love your shampoo.”
You snorted, “Oh my god, you’re so weird” chuckling lightly into his chest.
“Yeah” he hummed, the vibration sending chills into your body, “But I’m your weirdo”
Yawning, you smiled, “That you are.”
With the newfound warmth, you became drowsy immediately, his fingers lulling you further into unconsciousness. Eddie created a calm and utterly content environment that had sent you to sleep within minutes.
When you started to breath deeper, soft snores being admitted from your lovely mouth, Eddie started. He stared at the peacefulness that washed over your face when sleep took you. A smile graced his face when you moved closer to him, shifting so that your arms were now hugging him completely.
With your body next to his, the warmth radiating, heating up his own body and heart, he fell asleep with a smile on his face.
*****
He never missed Sunday breakfasts, but there it was. A small, messy note, saying that there was a work emergency and that he had to miss breakfast. You felt your heart sink, but put a fake smile on your face, and made yourself breakfast, and even made a side plate and wrapped it up for Eddie.
You went through the day, thoughts of why Eddie wasn’t there for breakfast filling your mind. You had texted him at one point on when he’d be home. That was hours ago, and he still hadn't’t responded, and now, you were starting to worry a little. He was always responsive with texts, his phone was always on him. Messing with you, he even had put a crazy song that played every time you called or texted, so it left you dumbfounded as to why he wouldn’t be responding to your now mounting numbers of calls, and you were starting to think the worse.
You sat on the couch, phone cradled in your hands, as you debated on calling Anne. He had gotten on better terms with her, as she had gotten a new boyfriend, and had met her once.
When you decided against it, you slumped back into the couch, and tried to take your mind off your missing man.
That night, a loud crash abrupted in the kitchen, jolting you awake on the couch. Quickly getting up, you saw a sweaty Eddie, rummaging through the fridge.
“Eddie! Where the hell have you been?” you yelled out, but he only grunted, not even turning to you, and started to pull tater tots out of the freezer. He ripped it open, pouring the frozen pieces into his mouth, spilling all over the floor.
“What they hell is going on?” you exclaimed, extremely confused by his behavior. You walked over to him, putting a hand on his arm, trying to get his attention.
“Eddie? Eddie!” you repeated, pulling his arm towards you, trying to make him look at you.
Suddenly, he turned, getting his face in yours, his eyes wide and crazy, “Stop!” he yelled his voice booming in your face. That’s when the first bolt of fear dashed through you.
Letting go of his arm, you backed away slightly. He turned back into the fridge looking for more food.
Quietly, you tried to soothe him down, “Eddie… There’s the Sunday breakfast leftovers on the top shelf…”
He grunted again, pulling it out. He took the wrapping off the top, and shoveled the biscuits and gravy in his mouth with his fingers, before dropping the dish on the floor. The shattering startling you, a scream erupted from your mouth.
At the noise, Eddie finally looked at you. Really looked at you. The crazy look drained from his eyes, and all that was left was fear and remorse.
“Y/N…” he said softly, walking towards you, but you stepped back again. He stood, sadness washing over him at your actions, “I- I’m so sorry.” he said, realization and shame flooding his sense.
“What the hell is happening?” you asked, tears starting to overflow.
“I, I don’t know…” he said, his eyes begging for help. Suddenly, his demeanor changed, his eyebrows creasing in anger, and he yelled, “Stop talking!”
“What?!” you asked incredulously, confusion coursing through you.
He whipped around, facing the apartment door, “I said, STOP TALKING TO ME!” he yelled.
“What the fuck?” you whispered, backing away further from him.
He started to twitch slightly, and you heard him mumbled in confusion, “What are you talking about. Who’s they?”
A crash sounded and the front door busted open, revealing armed soldiers, who walked in, all their guns point at Eddie. They hadn't even noticed you, and they didn’t look like police and immediately gave you the wrong feeling, so you snuck away, hiding behind a wall.
You heard Eddie still talking to himself, and snuck a peek, and saw how he kept flapping his arms up and down as if he was fighting with his own body, and saying he would surrender, then asking odd questions.
He yelled out a sudden no, then black gooey stuff sprouted from his arms and started attacking the soldiers. You had to cover your mouth to stop you from screaming. Looking away you covered your ears as the fighting continued, bullets ringing out loudly, crouching behind the wall.
The noise continued, and tears started to fall from your face. You looked to see Eddie, and whatever black stuff that clung to his body, fall out of the window, the trendils wrapping around the attackers taking them with him.
Silence suddenly flooded the room. Once a small chandelier was swaying slightly, an eerie creek admitted from the metal. Slowly, you got up, body shaking in fear. You looked at the mess that used to be the living room and kitchen, tears streaming down your face. Carefully walking over broken glass, you looked out the shattered window, seeing nothing but darkness. And in that moment, you knew you were alone.
*****
After the initial shock had worn off, you got off the floor you had collapsed on, and dialed 911. This had resulted in a police reporting being made, and taking you to the station for questioning. It was there that they told you no officers were in the area, that the men who had taken Eddie weren’t police. While this had frightened you further, it did give some peace of mind in the fact he hadn’t done something illegal.
After intense questioning, and the police promising they would try their hardest to find your roommate, they let you go home. While you didn’t want to go back to the apartment, to the floor that was littered with pieces of jagged and bloody glass, to the broken window where you had last seen your Eddie, you had nowhere else to go. So you found your feet dragging yourself back to the front door of the apartment.
With a long creak, you slowly opened the door. The sight of the flickering light causing moving shadows in the corner, and the wind from the broken window sending a freezing breeze through the room gave you a shiver.
Thoughts flooded your mind, the memories of Eddie’s face as he crashed through the window playing over and over. With nothing else to do, you numbly got the dustpan and broom and started to sweep up the broken glass.
As you started to clean, tears slowly started to fall down your face, and gradually you started to gasp for breathes. You stopped sweeping trying to slow numb the pain by not thinking. Not able to stop your racing mind as flashes of Eddie’s scared eyes blinded your mind, a sob sprung from your lips and you collapsed on the floor, still clutching the broom against your chest. Your body trembled, and nothing felt right. Nothing was okay.
And that's where you stayed, feeling as if the world had caved in on you.
That night, you had cradled decided to sleep in his bed. When you had opened the door to his room, tears started to prickle at your eyes, eyes that had become puffy and dark red. You mind had settled to a blank hum, numbness washing over your body at you picked a shirt of his bed, clutching it tightly to your chest. Sitting on his bed, you slowly lowered yourself under his sheets, wrapping them around your shoulders. Keeping the shirt tight to your body, you cradled the pillow to your face, Eddie’s scent drifting to your noise. It was the only thing that allowed you to fall asleep that night.
*****
The next two days had consisted of many trips between the apartment and police station, with lots of coffee. You were sleeping horribly, Eddie had wormed his way into every waking thought you had, worry eating at your soul, leaving you a anxious mess.
You were currently at the kitchen table, emailing the police chief, when you heard shuffling outside the front door. Nerves lit up, whether it was excitement or fear, you didn’t know, but something told you that someone was on the other side of that door.
Keys jangled, and your breath caught in your throat, standing up to get a better view of the slowly opening door.
When a bloodied Eddie stumbled into the room, the mug dropped from your hand, shattering on the floor.
“Eddie!” you let out a scream, before racing over to him. Flinging your arms around him, you collided, him letting out a little “oof” stumbling back slightly. Standing on firmer ground, he tightened his arms around you, almost squeezing the air out of your body.
Into your hair, he mumbled out, “Y/N, my dove.” You clung onto him, letting a joyous laugh fall from your lips as the world fell back into place. His hand held the back of your head as you buried you head into his chest.
Suddenly, you pulled away, letting out a startled, “WHAT THE FUCK EDDIE?!”
His shocked and embarrassed face would have made you laugh any other day, but at this point, knowing he was now alive and safe, you were pissed.
Sheepishly, he chuckled, rubbing the back of his head, “Well it’s a long story.”
“A long story? You fucking fell out a window!” you sobbed out, emotions spiraling out of control as you remembered what that last few days felt like.
“I’m so so sorry dove. I can’t imagine what that was like.” he said, remorse filling his eyes.
“Yeah you can’t imagine, because you have no fucking clue, do you? I’ve fallen in love with you, and you fucking disappeared!” his eyes shot open, mouth opening in surprise at your words. “You disappeared for 3 whole fucking days!”
With each word you lost track, slipping back into the nervous mess you were.
“You left me!” you shouted, hitting his chest with an open palm, but before it could make contact a black tendril came from his shoulder and grabbed your wrist in a tight lock.
You stood moving frozen, as the coldness from the black goo spread around your hand, and a black head with two white eyes, and long teeth sprouted from his shoulder.
“I wouldn’t do that morsel.”
Staring at the bright eyes, you whispered, “What the fuck…”
Eddie jerked away from you, pulling the tendril off your wrist. “Um, yeah that was the long story I was talking about.” The black goo went back into his shoulder disappearing.
“Um. Eddie? Care to explain?”
“Well yeah, um so I came into contact with this alien infected lady from Drake as one does, and contracted this alien that lives inside me and will come out, and make this big black alien body around me, and I had to fight this other alien that was a part of his group, and they had plans to come down and analate Earth and whatever and…” he continued his long explanation, but you had only been paying half attention when the thing had come out of Eddie’s shoulder and was staring at you again.
When Eddie said, “So I had to figure my shit out before I came back to you, and I’ve realized they’re not really that bad.”
The black head moved so it rubbed his head against Eddie’s cheek, “And I don’t think you’re that bad either Eddie. Not great though.”
Eddie chuckled at them, while, though the situation was absolutely absurd, you cracked a smile as well.
“Okay so you now have a alien in your body, that needs you to live, and that betrayed his whole race for you? Am I getting that right?”
“Yup”
“Well that sounds straight out of some gay fanfiction. Wait, and didn’t you say he was up your ass?”
“Yeah... And Y/N” he moved forward, his hands grabbing yours, his fingers enveloping your hands in his warmth, “I love you too”
“Huh.” you said simply, before cracking a smile, “Okay then, just know that my ass in not gonna participate in any gay sex, but I don’t mind another roommate so what the hell.”
“Mother, a word?” You gently requested her audience as Diana read through a recently recommended novel. She looked up at you and shut her bookmark between the pages, focusing her attention on you. “I am…well, I’m bisexual, Mother.” You stared at her expression carefully, each waiting for one to speak next. After the long pause, she smiled.
“Is that all?” Diana responded and you carefully nodded. “That’s wonderful, y/n. I’m glad you’ve been able to discover this about yourself.” She set her book on the table to the side and rose from her chair, opening her arms for a hug. “I hope your nerves are from excitement and not fear, darling. You know I will always accept you for who you are.” You wrapped your arms around her and fought tears of relief.
The world had a certain view of “normal” that your family never fit into. Your dad was an old-fashioned man in modern day, a super soldier, and a hero or a villain depending on the day. But despite the fact that neither of you seemed to fit in, you still had a nervous feeling looming over you when you decided to tell him. “Hey, Dad, could I tell you something real quick?” You peaked out around the corner of the living room wall and he looked away from the TV, waiting for you to continue. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m bisexual. Oh, and I have a girlfriend.”
“That’s great, can I meet her?” Bucky kindly smirked at the news, taking it as well as you thought he would despise your worries. You knew he’d love you no matter what, but living it out felt so much better than just imagining that reaction.
“I will set something up.” You nodded and gave him a smile back, overwhelmingly grateful for his natural support. You’d heard some rough stories about kids coming out to their parents, so every moment from here on out would be one you cherished.
“Well, if you need to get anything else off your chest, I’ll be on this couch. Love you.” Bucky said, clicking through the streaming service you’d set up for him. “What the hell is Electric Boogaloo?”
“Thanks, Dad,” you tapped your hand on the wall before heading back to your room, “love you, too.”
Imagine Murdoch agreeing to keep your secret. (FtM!Reader)
**Sequel to “Imagine Murdoch digging into your past and discovering that you, one of his constables, is transgender.” [x]**
“If you’re going to tell Inspector Brackenreid, at least give me a warning so I can leave beforehand,” you kept your tone forcibly neutral, your attention on sorting a sheaf of papers left at your desk.
“I’m not going to tell the Inspector.”
That gave you pause. Your movements halted and you looked up at Murdoch, a frown tugging at your features. “Excuse me?”
Murdoch pursed his lips, his posture purposefully reserved. “I’m not going to inform the Inspector of your true identity,” he repeated.
You narrowed your eyes, allowing a hint of edge to creep into your voice. “This is my true identity, Detective.” Silence fell between you for a beat before you let out a breath and asked the looming question, “Might I ask why the change of heart?”
His weight shifted from one foot to the other and he ducked his head for a moment as if to gather himself. “I don’t pretend to understand your perspective or your position. I am out of my depth when it comes to such matters.”
Yes, you are, you thought, but you crossed your arms and waited for him to continue, doing your best not to let on to the anxiety that was making your stomach do flips.
Murdoch drew a breath and let it out again, “What I do know is that you are an exemplary constable and I have great respect for your abilities. Your loss would be to the detriment of Station House 4. And, despite my...” he seemed to search for the right word, like he didn’t want to offend you. “Reservations, it is not my desire to see you leave.”
You couldn’t help making the small jab, your own bitterness bleeding into your words despite your efforts to keep it out. “Your faith doesn’t make you need to label me as an abomination or something of that sort?”
He continued to shift awkwardly, “My faith is something I find more and more I’ve been forced to grapple with.”
You gave a small nod. He had already granted you far more than you had expected from him since discovering your secret. It wasn’t perfect, but it was better than what you had found elsewhere. “You don’t have a problem with lying to the Inspector?” the question was milder this time, your posture a little less severe. A part of you wanted to tell him he didn’t need to lie for you. Despite your disagreements, Murdoch was a good and honourable man. Something about the idea of him lying for you felt wrong. But a bigger part of you was grateful. You liked where you were. You may have been willing to leave to protect yourself, but that didn’t mean you had to like it.
Murdoch offered a small, tight-lipped smile, “If it means keeping you in our midst, I believe I can learn to live with that.”
Your own smile was genuine when it tugged at your mouth. You let some of the tension leave your shoulders, your posture softening as it relaxed. “Thank you, Detective. It means a lot to have this chance. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am. I appreciate you not taking that away from me.”
“You’re a good constable,” you felt your heart swell at the sound of him calling you the name you had chosen rather than the one you’d been given. “Regardless of where you’ve come from, this is where you belong.”
