I’m nearly done with reading Project Hail Mary and it’s so good. I’m 100% going to be obsessing over this book for a while. I can’t believe I put off reading this for so long. I’ve had a physically copy for 4 years and the audiobook for 2. I literally had no excuse and now I’m annoyed with myself. I’m excited to watch the movie although that likely won’t happen until it releases physically.
I have a hunch that I’ll probably do a re-read before I can get my hands on the movie. There’s also a very high chance I’ll be writing fanfics for this and at the very least I’ll be reading them.
Final note I now want to buy the movie tie-in paperback and the new deluxe edition hardcover that comes out soon. I have a Book of the Month copy already and usually don’t like having duplicates but this book is going to be one of the few exceptions. Although, I might get rid of my current copy after I get the other hardcover.
The Iceburg love hasn't faded in the slightest lmao, so I wanted to ask, would it be okay to ask for Iceburg with a transfem crush/SO who's also his childhood friend ? :3
Like they haven't seen each other in a while and now they meet again and his crush/SO was able to transition while away ? :3
The first thing Iceburg notices is your laugh.
Not your face.
Not your voice.
Your laugh.
It carries across the dockyard, bright and familiar in a way that makes something in his chest tighten before his mind can even catch up. It cuts through the noise of Water 7, through the hammering and shouting and crashing waves, and for a moment, everything else fades.
He knows that laugh.
He hasn’t heard it in years.
Iceburg pauses mid-step, papers still tucked under his arm, his gaze shifting toward the source almost instinctively. There’s a small group gathered near one of the walkways, a few workers talking, someone gesturing wildly, and then—
You.
It takes a second.
Not because you’re unrecognizable.
But because you’re… different.
Not wrong.
Not unfamiliar.
Just… you, but more complete.
His breath catches slightly, something quiet and unexpected settling in his chest as he really looks at you. The way you stand, the way you carry yourself, the confidence that wasn’t there before, or maybe it was and you just couldn’t show it yet.
And then your eyes meet his.
You freeze.
He freezes.
There’s a beat of silence where the world feels like it’s holding its breath.
“…Iceburg?”
Your voice is softer than he remembers.
Or maybe he’s just listening more carefully now.
He exhales slowly, something easing in his shoulders as a small, disbelieving smile pulls at his lips. “It’s been a while.”
You laugh again, a little more nervous this time, rubbing the back of your neck. “Yeah. Uh… I didn’t think I’d run into you like this.”
“You never wrote,” he says, but there’s no accusation in it. Just a quiet observation.
“I know.” Your gaze drops for a second, then lifts again, steadier. “A lot… changed.”
He nods once.
He can see that.
And for a moment, neither of you speak.
There’s too much to say.
Too much time in between.
But Iceburg has never been one to dance around things.
“…you look good.”
It’s simple.
Direct.
But there’s something sincere in the way he says it that makes your chest warm.
You blink, caught off guard, then smile a little wider. “Thanks. I, uh… I was kind of worried you wouldn’t recognize me.”
“I did,” he replies immediately.
No hesitation.
You believe him.
There’s a small shift in the air after that, something loosening between you as the initial tension fades. The familiarity comes back in pieces. The way you stand near each other, the rhythm of conversation slowly finding its footing again.
You talk.
At first, it’s light. Where you’ve been. What you’ve been doing. The years you missed condensed into short explanations that don’t quite cover everything but are enough to keep things moving.
And then, eventually, it settles.
You glance down at your hands, fingers fidgeting slightly. “I wasn’t sure how to tell you.”
Iceburg doesn’t interrupt.
“I mean… I wanted to. I just—” you exhale softly, shaking your head. “I didn’t know if it would change things.”
That makes him pause.
Not because he doesn’t understand.
But because he does.
“You thought I’d see you differently.”
It’s not a question.
You give a small, sheepish nod.
He’s quiet for a moment, considering his words the same way he always does.
Carefully.
“…I do.”
Your heart drops for half a second.
And then he continues.
“You seem happier.”
The tension in your shoulders melts almost instantly, your breath catching as you let out a small, incredulous laugh. “That’s… yeah. I am.”
“I can tell.”
There’s no grand speech.
No overcomplicated reassurance.
Just that.
And somehow, it means more.
You look at him properly then, really look, and it hits you how little has changed and how much has stayed the same. The steady presence. The way he watches instead of rushes. The way he says things exactly as he means them.
“…you haven’t changed much.”
“I’ve gotten busier,” he replies dryly.
You grin. “Figures.”
There’s a pause.
Not awkward.
Just… full.
And then you shift your weight slightly, glancing out toward the water. “So… are you gonna just stand there, or are you gonna walk with me like you used to?”
His brow lifts slightly, something almost amused flickering across his expression.
“…I suppose I can spare a moment.”
“Wow. I’m honored.”
You fall into step beside him easily, like no time has passed at all.
And maybe, in some ways, it hasn’t.
The conversation flows more naturally now, slipping into old patterns. You tease him. He responds in that same dry, grounded way that somehow always pulls a laugh out of you. You talk too much. He listens more than he speaks.
Some things don’t change.
As you walk, your shoulder brushes his lightly.
You don’t pull away.
Neither does he.
“…you’re staying?” he asks after a while.
You hesitate for just a second before nodding. “If that’s okay.”
He doesn’t look at you immediately.
But there’s a small, almost imperceptible shift in his posture.
“…it is.”
Your smile softens.
And as the two of you continue down the dock, side by side, the space between past and present feels a little smaller.
warnings: smut, some explicit language, fingering (receiving and giving), oral female
word count: 2.5k
loosely inspired @delfiore 's story <3
a/n: this is my first time ever writing smut or fanfic in general so please forgive me if this terrible!! but if u do enjoy i'd appreciate if you like or reblog
The grand hall filled with chatter, as the King hosted his festivities in honor of his son's fifth nameday with the Lady Alicent Hightower, now Queen Alicent. It had been years since you had returned to Kings Landing though back then you were a mere child – now a lady to be paraded to the court for a husband.
Rows of tables fill the hall, each accompanied by the royal Houses of the kingdom allied to the King. You slowly trail behind your father, the soft glow of the candles and the sounds of the orchestra warmed the air of the Red Keep – the feeling almost nostalgic to your childhood. Your father was among the Kings' council, your mother a dear friend to the late Queen Aeema meaning you often frequented Kings Landing.
As you made your way to your table, indulging in false pleasantries with people you did not know, you found your eyes wandering the hall for a certain Targeryan. Your gaze lands on the empty seat beside King Viserys' royal table, a twinge of disappointment pierces your heart letting it soak for a split second you turn your attention back to the feast that lays in front of you. That was one of the many riches you adored during your stays at the Red Keep, the King did know how to throw a grand feast. Although you try your best to distract yourself, filling your cup with the juice of the grape – your eyes cannot help but drift to the empty seat.
You let your mind turn off as you fake conversations, nodding absentmindedly at the politics thrown at you. When a glimpse of silver-blonde braided hair catches the corner of your eye, she walks towards the King, her guard on tail. You subtly watch her movements, she looked the same as you once remembered but something had changed about her — she stood more confidently. Her eyebrows furrowed as she sternly spoke to her father, you were seated too far to hear the conversation but you could tell neither one of them was happy. Ending the conversation, Rhaenyra abruptly exited the hall ignoring the calls from her father and her guard.
You wait a few moments before excusing yourself from your table, quietly leaving the festivities. You wonder the torchlit corridors, your footsteps echoing the stone pavement. You search the grounds when you catch her sitting on a stone ledge with her knees in her arm. Her face was lost in thought oblivious to your presence, "A gold dragon for your thoughts Princess?".
Following the voice that startled her, Rhaenyra turns, her eyes lighting up when she sees your familiar face. "I did not know you would be attending…" she smiled, pulling you into a gentle embrace, "I would have greeted you if I had," her fingers lingering across your arms. Her fingertips stop at the Valyrian steel bracelet that adorned your wrist. She smiles softly, "You still wear it?" fumbling with the red stones encrusted around the bracelet.
"Of course, it was a gift from the Princess… now heir to the Iron Throne! I shall treasure it with my life." you laugh holding your hand across your heart.
"Heir… to the Iron Throne.." Rhaenyra repeated, her smile fading as she picked at the threads on her embroidered gown. Her expression was not of one that was happy with being named Heir. Rhaenyra exhaled through her nose, letting out a sigh in annoyance. "My father sent me on tour to find the most suitable knight or lord for my impending betrothal…" she paced back and forth. "All of them were halfwits who would not know the difference between their own balls and a dragon's egg." she scoffed letting out her annoyance, "Just the mere thought of having to bed with any of them makes me want to be ill". You sat down on the stone ledge, trying to stifle your amusement at the Princess' disgust.
"This is not a laughing matter, you will not find this amusing when you are devoid of pleasure," Rhaenyra hissed, her arms crossed. Just the thought of Rhaenyra experiencing pleasure sends a blush across your cheeks. "What is it I hear? That you are to be betrothed to Lord Jason Lannister of Casterly Rock?" she teases.
It would be a lie to say you did not find the Princess attractive, but the feeling of heat that seared from your center was something you had not felt for Rhaenyra before. Perhaps the wine had given you confidence or perhaps the haze of desire that clouded your mind drew you towards her — her eyes softly watching your movements as you stood toe to toe.
"There are other means of pleasure," you murmur, your fingertips grazing the sleeve of her gown, your words lingering in the quiet air. What you and Rhaenyra were doing was unfit for the Heir of the Iron Throne, unfit for any becoming lady but the adrenaline that pulsed throughout your body hid your worry.
Her eyes drifted to your mouth, "Tell me," she prompts. Rhaenyra steps forward, the warmth of her body heat lingers, as her deep blue eyes burn into yours. She was so close to you, you could smell her scent – a mix of lilies and dragon, everything about her was intoxicating. Without realizing what you were doing, you reach up cupping her cheek as you bring her closer to your lips when the sudden slam of the grand hall doors startles you both.
She hastily grabs your hand, pulling you with her as she runs down the corridor, the voices from the hall becoming quieter as you run farther away. She pulls you behind one of the stone columns, hiding from the guards that patrolled the halls. Seeing the opportunity she continues running your hand still in hers. Before you could even decipher where you were, Rhaenyra tugged you into a dark room locking the door behind her. You lean against a pillar trying to catch your breath as you study the room you were in, "Are we in the spare quarters?"
Rhaenyra lights a candle illuminating the room, "Do you recall when we would sneak out of our chambers and come here to drink in the late hours," she laughs, the sweet sounds of her laughter making you smile. She catches you staring at her lips while she extinguishes the match, a cocky grin spreading across her face. Heat rushes to your cheeks maybe from the embarrassment or from the heat that filled the air, "Or when you convinced me to ride dragon back with you" you reply diverting the attention, "Gods, we gave our parents a fright when they saw us — my father stationed a guard outside my chamber every night for a week after that,".
"I did not hear the end of it for a month!" she whined, both of you reminiscing on the memories of your childhood. You move towards her gently holding her hands, "Rhaenyra forgive me for not visiting you sooner." You smile sincerely as you rub the back of her hand with your thumb – Rhaenyra's composure changes, her eyes darkening giving you a coquettish glance.
"You are here now," she murmurs, her fingers caressing yours. Pulling you closer to her, she wraps her arm around your waist causing you to let out a small gasp from the sudden contact. Her hands were on your torso, the warmth of them seeping through the fabric of your gown. Goosebumps travel up your spine as you feel her fingers linger up the base of your back to the nap of your neck, gently resting her thumb on your jaw. Your breath catches in your lungs as the Princess brushes her hand on your cheek. "Show me the other ways" her soft eyes locked on yours, slowly pulling you closer to her lips nose skirting yours as her lips hover mere inches away. Her lips brush yours, moving against yours hungrily, and in a way that leaves your mind dazed and your lungs nearly breathless. Rhaenyra's lips smother your small moan as the warmth of her tongue skims against yours.
You pull away from the kiss, a frown spreading across Rhaenrya's face, her lips missing yours. You hold her hand guiding her over to the dressing mirror, pulling her in front of you as you both stand looking at the reflection. She tries to turn and face you but you hold her firm, "Stay," you command.
The rise of your chest is pressed against her back, your hand following the curves of her body - the other tangling in her gown as your lips gently press against her shoulders. Her eyes follow your gentle touch, her lips parting slightly when your palms gaze down her stomach. You reach the hem of her gown and pull it up, your fingertips leaving a trail of goosebumps. The effect you have on her leaves you with searing heat from the center of your core. Leaning forward, you slid your hands further up her thigh, Rhaenyra's breath quickens as her skin prickled with heat under your touch. Your hands part her thighs, the distracting caress of your touch has her eyes sink closed, her breathing grows heavier. Your fingers trail the top of her wetness, circling her clit and then down to rub over her dripping entrance. Sliding your fingers through her soaked folds, back and forth they tease.
Letting out a soft whimper, Rhaenyra pushes your palm closer to her wet lips. With a smirk, you rest your cheek down against her shoulder, circling her clit, you tease the entrance of her wetness – slowly sinking the tip of your finger inside her. Her knees buckle with your touch – gliding like silk you easily slip in with ease—all the way up to the second knuckle. You watch her in the mirror, as you slip two fingers into her slit, slowly drawing them out, your finger slick with her wetness. You thrust them back in, setting a steady pace, making her eyes roll back with pleasure with every stroke. Rhaenyra wrapped her arm behind her grasping your face, as you curled your fingers pumping in rapid beats against her wetness. "Seven hells," she moans, her face flustered as her hips grind into your palm.
"Open your eyes," You coo into her ear, Rhaenyra's back sinks further into your chest, almost causing you to lose your balance. Your other hand gripping her breast through her gown, her eyes locked on you as you continue to sink further in her. Thrusting in her, you feel her body seize up tight – squirming underneath your hold, you continue to pump your fingers through her orgasm. As she heaves for a breath, you slowly pull your fingers out – dripping with her cum. You turn her around, capturing her mouth in a deep kiss, your hands gripping her face as you back her into the pillar. You lower yourself kneeling as you lift her gown, getting a perfect view of her wetness. Letting out a gasp Rhaenyra trembles as she feels your mouth teasing her entrance, her eyes instantly rolling back as you lick her wet folds. Her hand tangled in your hair, "Fuck" she cries, your tongue pushing in and out of her. You send her into another frenzy, her sensations spilling over as you savor the taste and the noises that she makes.
She slowly brings your face up to hers, her hands tangled in your hair as she pulls you in for a kiss, your mouth parts as you feel the soft brush of her tongue. You feel her lips tug into a smirk as she pulls away, grappling with your gown she guides you to her bed.
Her fingers toyed with the string of your gown, gently tugging and pulling until the material pooled by your ankles, leaving you bare. Doing the same, Rhaenyra tugged the cloth over her head freeing her breast. You lay down on her bed, admiring her exposed body. The ethereal lines of her face, and the softness in those blue eyes as she watches you. It drives you wild. Straddling on top of you, her hands explore your body – the flats of her fingertips rolling over your nipple. "Rhaenyra you do not need to", your voice shaky.
"I want to pleasure you as you did me,". Leaning down, she molds her mouth to yours, Rhaenyra nips at your bottom lip, her lips smothering your soft moan as she draws you in for another kiss you. Pulling away, she slowly moved down your body leaving wet kisses across your bare skin until she was between your thighs. A whine escaped your lips, unable to close your legs as a burning tension collects in your core. Rhaenyra lowers herself, arching her back to get the perfect view of your wet folds – her fingers trace circular patterns into the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, sending ripples to your throbbing center. You tense as the tips of her fingers brush down your wet slit, back and forth she teases.
"My love…" letting out a needy moan, "I will not be able to take it if I do not feel you inside me", aching for her touch, you shift your hips closer. With no warning, Rhaenyra thrusts her fingers into your entrance – your hands gripping her sheets as she plunges deeper into you. Deep inside your core, her finger brushes against the rough spot of nerves against your walls. You tense as you feel Rhaenyra slip two fingers inside, your walls stretching around them, sending waves of pleasure through the walls of your cunt. Her two fingers slick with your wetness plunge deeper without resistance. Doing her best to replicate what she had experienced, her mouth slips around your clit – tracing circles with her tongue. Waves of pleasure cascade through every nerve in your body. Her mouth laps your entrance, gently sucking your clit while her fingers are still thrusting inside your clenched walls. The sight of the Princess devouring your swollen lips sends you over the edge, and the bubbling energy coiling in the pit of your stomach violently spills over. Head thrown back and panting, Rhaenyra continues to lick you through your climax, her fingers plunging faster into you. You feel your muscles tense as the orgasm grows, pulsing around her fingers – everything tightens like a vice, stars imploding behind your eyelids. You whine and subconsciously try closing your legs as the ecstasy sends waves from your core to every nerve in your body, Rhaenyra's hand dipping further into your thighs, her other hand pinning down your legs.
Your ears ring, the ecstasy bursting through your trembling body. Your knees buckle, your eyes squeezed shut – the feeling descending upon you in a vicious wave. Your chest heaving, you pull Rhaenyra from your thighs to your mouth capturing her in a deep kiss.
Requested by: @imjust-confused Hi! Could you do nick Nelson(heartstopper) x male reader dating headcanons,feel free to ignore this! :)
Warnings: none other than mention of Nick patching you up
A/N I love Nick and I couldn’t say no to this, the reader is around the same age as Nick, sorry for it being short, I’m just doing some head cannons while writing the other ones, that I have put on hold for a while bc I have had a depressed mood in a while now, and still have but I’m trying to get myself out of it and school is finally slowing down in all the assignments so yeah, enjoy the while I do the rest of my works
Okay so dating Nick Nelson is amazing
He’s always there to comfort you, and you do the same to him
A lot of cuddles
A lot of small kisses while cuddling
I feel like he would try to teach you rugby
He patches you up every time you get hurt while practicing, or if you just are clumsy then he still patches you up
When you are anxious he lets you draw on his hand, or he just keeps an eye out for you, and makes sure you are okay, taking your hand, giving you a hug
He introduced you to his family a few weeks after you started dating
His family being pretty chill and fun to be around
Especially Nellie, Nick would swear that Nellie loves you more than him
Going to the beach is one of the things you do together every summer
Doing cute little thing together
Watching Marvel movies together either because both of you love them, or if you don’t like them then you watch them because Nick loves them
When going to school you always hold hands
And in class every student can see the two of you whispering to each other
Eating lunch together and sometimes sharing milkshakes or ice cream with each other
Being friends with Tao, Charlie, Tara, Darcy, Elle and Isaac
Definitely having some double/triple dates
Going to the cinema with Nick is one of the best things ever
If you have just started to come to term with being in love with a your own gender then Nick would help you as much as he could to make you accept that what you are feeling is normal
Cute and silly moments is something that happens everyday
Like that one time you had a pillow fight
Or the time when you accused Nick of liking Elizabeth Swann and William Turner more then he loves you which ended in Nick denying it and giving you a very passionate kiss to prove you wrong
Or that one time you slept over at Nick’s place and while you were sleeping he drew on your hand
Or the fact that the two of you always steals borrow each other’s clothes
Okay but you two would literally be the best couple ever
Hi! Would you write something along the lines of Steve finding out his sister is dating max 🤍
Caught
Harrington reader x Max Mayfield
A/N: The brother sister dynamic is simulator to the one I have with my older brother which I personally think makes it quite realistic idk// but also thanks for requesting, had a bit of a lack of motivation and this got me going hahhah
Summary: Your big brother finds out about your relationship to Max
You and Max where dating since almost half a year. You decided to keep it a secret, due to it being the 80’s and you also having homophobic parents. Meaning your relationship was hidden behind the terms of best friends. Friends going for the movies, friends having sleepovers, friends occasionally holding hands, friends who definitely looked at each other, with a little to much adoration.
You envied you brother for being able to do all those things with his dates and actually being able to call them that. No one would look at him as if it was weird. No one would question it, dismissing it as teens doing what teens do. But you couldn’t so, you had to sneak around. Meeting up with max in the bathroom, between class, to do something as simple as share a kiss or two.
As mentioned the two of you had regular sleep overs. Your parents went on a trip for the weekend and Steve had to work.
You made pasta with Max and ended up on the couch cuddling, while she read one of her many comic books to you. Dozing off you listened to her calm heartbeat.
Just to be soon woken up by the loud sound of the front door falling shut. As the information sunk in you jumped up the couch, being scared your parents would come home early. But before you stood a confused looking Steve. “Man, Steve you scared me to death!” His looked keeper wavering between you and your girlfriend. “What’s going on here?” You gulped, a hundred thoughts where running through your mind. “Stop biting you lip, it looks ugly and don’t panic, whatever this, is I’m ok with it. Well as far as I’m being ok of you having anything with anyone.” You sat back down on the couch, while Max got up from her lying position and settled next to you. Steve sat in an armchair across from the two of you.
“What is this?” Was his first question while gesturing between the two off you. Max took your hand in hers, “We are dating.” Your brothers eyebrows peaked up while he gave a nod, “Since when?” “Half a year,… in two weeks.” Now he looked surprised “How did you keep this so long from me?!” “Well I’m smart and wanted to keep it secret and your an idiot.” Fake laughing, he showed his annoyance to you. “Are you mad at me?” Steve shook his head got up from his seat and brought you into a hug. Tears welled up in your eyes and you let out a deep breath “I’m not mad about you liking girls. But why Max?” He had a painful expression on his face to which Max hit his arm. “Look, she’s always mean to me!” You couldn’t do anything but laugh, as the two of them started bickering as always.
Tbh this is my favorite chapter, basically the best thing I’ve ever written. Also this series is going to be 8 parts, and since I have it all written out now I will be posting at least once to twice a day (twice if there’s a short chapter).
Schedule:
Chapter 5, 4/22/23
Chapter 6, 4/23/23
Chapter 7, 4/24/23 tbd
Chapter 8, 4/24/23 tbd
There might be short blurbs to add on to round things out because I am not a perfect writer, and there’s hella holes.
TW: Anxiety, over thinking
Chapter 5–> Pinch Me, Young Friend, Week 13
Lyrics: “On my own, so alone
I can’t tell if this is real
Someone pinch me, wake up.”
After Abby puked on you, you pushed her away. You cleaned yourself up, changing into pajama shorts. Coming back into the living room, you saw Abby laying on the couch, facing the back cushions.You went and got an Ibuprofen and a glass of water, going back to the living room.
Abby turned to watch you as you set the painkiller and water onto the coffee table. “Hey,” She said your name as you sat down on the carpet, back against the couch. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” You ask, not looking at her. A headache was developing behind your eyes, all of your thoughts fighting each other. It was hard not correlating the kiss with her puking on you. She puked because she was drunk. She kissed you because she was drunk. She never really liked you.
She must have been drunk every time she flirted with you. She had to be.
Before you could delve any further into your thoughts, Abby was talking again. “For puking on you.”
“It’s okay, go to sleep.”
Abby was silent, probably hoping you wouldn’t have been so dismissive. She made a noise, probably repositioning herself, “Okay.”
You awoke to someone calling your name. Your neck was stiff, your legs feeling like stone as you tried to open your eyes. A hand was on your shoulder, lightly shaking you.
You opened your eyes, turning and looking up to see Abby. She was peering down at you, sitting on the edge of the couch. You were huddled up against the couch, legs pressed to your chest..
“What happened?” Abby asked. Of course she wouldn’t know. Of course she wouldn’t remember her puking on you, her kissing you. You searched her face, somewhat hoping she was playing a trick on you. You were relieved that she was asking you what happened, but you couldn’t help but feel a slight twinge of disappointment at her bout of amnesia.
“What do you remember?”
Abby rubbed her eyes, humming. Her hair was now fully out of its braid, falling into a curtain of waves around her face. “Everything until I went to the bathroom.”
Nodding, you briefly fill her in on what happened next. You left out the kiss, and the compliments. But after learning she puked on you she seemed to get quite embarrassed. Good.
Gesturing to the untouched medicine and water on the coffee table, you say, “Those are for you.”
“Thank you.”
Abby left about an hour later, not until after she promised to take you to coffee after classes on tuesday. She insisted it was both a “thanks” for taking care of her, and as a “sorry that I puked on you and ruined your pants.”
Abby took you to a quant cafe underneath a bookstore. The inside was full of green and brown patterns, giving an earthly feel to the shop. You two picked a small two person table. You tried to forget about the kiss, you really did, but it was always on your mind.
Abby, if she did end up remembering something, seemed too chill. If she didn’t, then she was acting normal. But she could feel how you’d get awkward at random things, if she’d get too close, you’d stiffen. Some words she would say you might make a face about. She would back off, not getting too close, watching you closely when she spoke. But now, after class, she seemed to have regained some confidence with you, now testing the waters.
“What were you thinking of getting?” Abby asked, following you to the register.
You shrugged, “I don’t know.” You played with your hands, biting your lip in thought.
A barista walked out from the back room, greeting the two of you. For a second you didn’t even recognize her, having to take another glance. But it wasn’t a dream, or just a weird trick of the light. Clare, an old friend,and your first ever girlfriend and ex girlfriend, was standing in front of you.
Clare changed after the two of you broke up. She used to have shoulder length, wavy dark brown hair. She used to wear clear rimmed glasses, and bright colors. She didn’t have any piercings, or tattooes. Clare was very much straight-passing, not showing too many hints at being on the same team you were. But now, her style clearly screamed, ‘I love women’. She was masc, her arms full of tattoos. Her hair was short, her ears having multiple piercings. Clare also now wore contacts, no makeup on her face. She had a nose piercing, a hoop on the left side.
Clare’s eyes squinted at you, she even said your name. “Is that really you?” What a dumb question, you didn’t even change that much. Maybe you were wearing a different style, one you were more comfortable in. You mainly changed after high school, but you were dating Clare out of high school, so she knew you after your transformation.
You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. “Says my social security card.”
Abby, seeming to feel the situation tensing, moved slightly closer to you. She was more polite, nodding to Clare, “I’m Abby. Are you one of her friends?”
She was dumb. How the hell did she not notice the glare you gave Clare, or how awkward Clare was? She should have noticed Clare flinch at her own question, looking at you with pinched eyebrows.
Clare blinked slowly at Abby, “She’s my ex.” She clarified, the brunette then turned to you, obviously just being polite since she was getting paid. “How’ve you been?”
You narrowed your eyes, but played along. “I’ve been. Anyways, can I get an iced caramel latte?”
Clare bit the inside of your cheek, probably hating your indifference. She’s always seen how quickly you cut people out of your life, how easily you went from having in-depth conversations to just one worded answers, never initiating anything when you didn’t like the person. She may have thought she would never be on the other side. But she was the one who ended the relationship, even after you chose the same college like she wanted. Clare watched as you faltered to save a failing relationship that she helped bring down, and you fell into a trap, disillusioning yourself into believing it was salvageable.
“Size?” Clare asked, her words now clipped.
Who was she to be mad? To be bothered by you? You let her leave after she stomped on your heart, leaving you to pick up the pieces of her empty promises. Maybe she was jealous, maybe she thought you were on a date with Abby. She had no right to be jealous, you didn’t care who she got with. Whoever had the blessing to be with Clare was also cursed with someone who hadn’t grown up one bit. But Abby could easily be coded as more masculine than any girl you’ve seen. She was muscular, wearing a muscle shirt as well. Abby had defined features, and she stood with an air of confidence that just screamed masculinity. The blonde even took a step towards you, slightly shielding you from Clare’s piercing eyes.
“What price is the medium?” You asked, tone steady. You weren’t going to let her mess with you, you couldn’t do it to yourself anymore.
Clare went to answer, but Abby beat her to it. The blonde grabbed your wrist to get your attention, “Price doesn’t matter to you, I’m paying.”
Squinting, you decided to let Abby take charge, knowing Clare will think into the action. Maybe you were petty, but you weren’t going to clarify anything to someone who didn’t deserve it. Also, things happen, people move on. And who knows who Clare has kissed? Who she hooked up with? It may have only been thirteen weeks since she broke up with you, but she’s always been extroverted.
Clare bit her lip, you didn’t miss the way she quickly glanced down at Abby’s hand, which completely engulfed your wrist. Clare looked back up at Abby, “Is that all?” She deadpanned, face going blank. But you knew, she was always so easy to read for you.
Abby didn’t seem phased, “I’d like a medium hot mocha.” She ordered, smiling. She slid her hand down your wrist, warm fingers meeting your own as she held your hand. The blonde wasn’t dumb, she knew Clare was jealous, and she was happy to play along. PDA wasn’t easy for you though, heat creeping up your neck as you pulled out your phone to distract yourself.
Abby exchanged money for the drinks, being sure not to let go of your hand. Their voices were muffled, your mind a loose telephone wire. Abby, the hurricane that caused it, led you to the end of the counter to wait for your drinks. Why did she do that? Of course she helped you out, but she didn’t have to. She obviously knew there was some history, and she didn’t seem to mind acting like your girlfriend. Abby’s grip on your hand increased, you looking up to see her looking at you.
Was it just you, or were her hands sweating too? She was giving you a reassuring grin, but you couldn’t help staring at her lips. They were just on yours a few nights ago, and the memory resurfaced. Abby said something, but you didn’t listen, still entranced. Abby gently took your phone out of your hand, causing you to blink rapidly. She had gotten closer, real close. Leaning down to look you in the eyes. Concern was written all over her face, her forehead creasing as her eyebrows pinched together.
“Are you okay?” She whispered.
You noticed just how hard you were gripping her hand. How fast your heart was beating. You should have ordered decaf. Releasing the death grip you had, you gave her a small smile. She didn’t let go though, giving your hand a squeeze.
“Yeah,” You didn’t elaborate. Not too close to Clare, no, she didn’t need to know what you and Abby were talking about. Clare didn’t need to know the emotions you were desperately trying to hide. “You can let go,” you whisper, looking at your intertwined hands.
Abby didn’t let go, she placd your phone into her pocket. She took her other hand, placing it on your chin to guide your face up to hers. God, was she always this brazen? Your cheeks were on fire, heart threatening to beat out of your chest. Why was she doing this?
“I figured she looked jealous,” Abby whispered. She tried to meet your shifting eyes.
“Here I thought you were a dumbass,” You whispered back, deciding to look at her eyebrows.
“We can go back to the dorm after the coffee’s done,” She offered, not letting you go. Why did you let her take charge? She seems to love playing with Clare. And you, she always teased you.
You shifted your eyes back to meet hers, searching. Surely she was annoyed at having to go back to the dorm. Back to your safe space. Maybe she was disappointed. Having to leave because you can’t handle this situation. To be honest, you had it together until you realized Clare thought you and Abby were together. Well, you really never had it together.
Abby wasn’t disappointed though, no hints of annoyance gracing her features. Just concern, care for you. It warmed you, grounding your mind for just a moment so you can think.
“Yeah, that would be great.”
When you and Abby entered your dorm room, Max was playing video games with Tatum. They were obviously talking about you, maybe even how you always talked about Abby with them. They looked at the two of you with such guilty faces, you just knew they were.
“Hey,” Max greeted the two of you as you passed them on the way to your room.
You waved back, Abby deciding to speak, “Nice see you two again.” She smiled, right behind you.
Opening your bedroom door, you wave for Abby to go in first, closing it behind you. Before you closed the door, you looked to see Max and Tatum smirking at you, and you gave them a warning glare. Yet, you knew they were going to gossip, maybe even make up fanfiction.
Abby was standing in the middle of the room, glancing around. To your left was your twin bed, random blankets and cat stuffed animals scattered acrossed it. To the far end of the room was a desk full of books, a mini fridge with a microwave sitting on top of it, sitting to the right of the desk. To your immediate right was a coffee table with a small tv, your PS4 hooked to it. The one in the living room was Max’s, since he plays more often. The lighting was dim, only a cat lamp sitting on your desk gracing the room with a pale yellow light.
“Are you okay?” You ask, not liking how quiet Abby had gotten. Given any other situation it would be fine, but you basically let Abby play as your pretend girlfriend.
At your question, Abby turned to you. Worry was etched onto her features. “I’m sorry,” Her voice was soft, hesitant.
“For what?”
Abby bit her lip, not looking you in the eye, “For making things awkward. For taking advantage of you in front of your ex, for taking you out for coffee.”
Blinking, you were quiet. She didn’t really take advantage. You knew if you told her to stop, she would. Also she couldn’t have known about Clare, hell you didn’t even know.
“She broke up with me,” You say, sitting on your bed. You leaned back fully, laying now on the bed. “You didn’t take advantage. I let you, also you did me a huge favor.”
The bed dipped beside you, “Did you a favor? I triggered your anxiety.”
“Not really,” You tap your fingers together. “It’s always there. A bird hitting my window could do the same thing you did.”
Abby went quiet for a few minutes, only the sound of your heartbeat returning to your ears to soothe the silence.
“Me touching you is the same as a bird dive-bombing your window?”
Choking out an incredulous laugh, you cover your face with your arms. Smiling, you huffed with laughter.
“God, Abby,” You say breathlessly, “No, I meant that as in convincing my ex we weren’t ‘just friends,” You managed to catch your breath, sitting up to rub the tears from your eyes. You looked over to Abby, pausing at the way she was looking at you. There was such fondness in the way she looked at you, a small grin at the corners of her lips. Her eyes, usually indifferent to the world around her, now looking at you with a tenderness usually reserved for a lover.
“Just friends,” Abby hummed, breaking the stare you both were holding. She looked down at her lap, fingers picking at her nails.
Tears were drying on your cheeks as you stared at her. Was she now embarrassed at the way she acted? At your words? Did she not want to be just friends? You were frozen, yet your heart was beating fast. Too fast.
“Thank you,” You whisper, causing her to look back up at you.
It was her turn to say, “For what?”
“For being so damn determined for me to talk to you,” You say, still whispering. You were afraid that if you spoke any louder she’d leave, “For being so annoying that I gave up tolerating you and decided to become your friend.”
“I was annoying?”
You rolled your eyes, pushing her shoulder lightly. She barely moved, licking her lips.
“Yes, you are annoying.”
Abby rolled her eyes this time, looking back at you with a smirk. “Thank you for allowing me in.”
You and Ripley had known each other for years and years. You had a connection. You’d known each other way before the events on The Nostromo. There was a tension between the two of you, the sexual tension was confirmed when you both hooked up just before the attack of the first Alien in 1979. It was 1986 now, you had just blown up the planet containing the Queen Aliens nest and eggs, yourself, Ripley, Newt, the marines and Bishop had all survived, Gorman was in a bad state but he was still breathing. Gorman was next to Hicks in the medical bay. Hicks. Hicks was someone who had undoubtedly tried to woo Ellen over. You didn’t like it at all. It was about 3 weeks on, you were on your way back home, everybody was better and had an easy and quick recovery and everyone was just getting over the shock of the attack and were finally getting along. You however.
You had a very high rank in your profession, higher than Gorman and the marines; Hicks tried to challenge that multiple times, Ellen always correcting him which you were thankful for, but she always smirked and shook her head at him when he did. And it hurt. Why did it hurt? It’s like she was mocking you for priding yourself, of course that would never be the case, but it’s how you felt with her and her new friend.
Ripley knows you. She knows how defensive and cold your walls are. It took her months for her to find out who you really were. She knows about your background, your family, your first job, everything. And you with her. She knows how you present yourself proudly and she honours you for that. She knows how hard you work, she knows everything, especially when your walls go back up. She understood why you became stoic and cold when you first met the marines, but small signs she took in signalled to her your walls were going back up, even around Ellen. It was things like never sitting to watch a film always disappearing to do work. Always eating on your own before making your way someplace else. You were short with everyone, bar her and Newt.. and Bishop on the odd occasion. Things like how and where you stood. You’d always stand tall and proud behind her, or you’d stand right next to her protecting Ripley. To the point where half of your body would be touching her half, and she grew attached to it.
Now when there’s a debriefing you stand by the door with your arms folded. In your point of view she had someone else to do that now. Hicks always sitting next to her, stealing your seat, stealing your place. You and Ripley had a tendency to share a bed, always beside one another, an arm wrapped over the other, a head buried in ones chest. You couldn’t leave out Newt who would occasionally jump in between the both of you when she couldn’t sleep. Now you sleep at your office desk, on the couch or you don’t sleep at all. You never even took naps with Ripley anymore. Then nights were dragging on and getting longer and each night Ripley was left wide awake with an empty and cold space next to her. Over the years it grew apparent to Ripley you were possessive of her.. in a good way, and she with you. She knew why you were jealous but she also knew you were getting the wrong end of the stick. She didn’t love Hicks, she doesn’t like him that way. She was going to get the truth from you no matter what.
It was getting later, it was actually past 1 in the morning. It wasn’t late to you. You said your goodnights to Newt, the odd ‘night’ to a passing marine in their sleepwear. Ripley was in bed, still wide awake. She had asked Mother what part of the ship you were in. You were in your office, not far from her sleeping quarters, but to Ripley you seemed a million miles away at the moment. Just before she headed to your office she checked on Newt who was soundly sleeping in the bed close to hers. As she neared to your office she heard a kettle boil and a computer typing, sometimes the sound of a spiny chair moving from desk to desk. She stopped in the doorway, tied her light blue dressing gown across her front and watched you work away. She eyed your empty coffee cups.
“Hey”, the voice of the angel spoke. You looked up from your computer and saw her. You wanted to rush over and pick her up in your arms, tell her she was safe, tell her you’d never leave her, tell her you loved her. “Hey”. You replied quite coldly. She repositioned herself, goosebumps from your greeting. Your back was straight but your neck was slightly hunched. “Your gonna wake up with a sore neck.” She stated. You let out a sigh, not wanting to give into her affections and invitation to bed she was silently offering. “Why aren’t you in bed?” You asked formally, standing up and walking to the boiled kettle. You took out a new cup from your seemingly endless collection of cups, you turned round and slightly shoved a cup to her, offering her a cup of coffee. She shook her head lightly. She expected nothing less, she moved forward slightly more and sat on the end if your desk flicking through your work. “I couldn’t sleep, I wanted to see you.. that’s all.” She replied with the softest voice, knowing you’d be tired. “Seventh cup of coffee?” She asked. With small irritation you placed the hot cup down and turned around to her, she looked as beautiful as the day you met her. “You’ve seen me all day there’s no need to see me now”, you replied sternly, turning back around to attend to your drink. She was hurt by your comment, order more like.
She brought herself to her feet, “Don’t you have anything else to say to me?” She asked with slight desperation in her voice, all she wanted was for you to rest and for her to be in your arms. “I have work to do, go to bed.” You said with finality and turning around to see a look of disappointment and anger on her face. “You know you don’t have to keep that tough woman act up all the time.” She wasn’t angry with you, she was upset, upset that you kept yourself working, upset you took the events of the Alien worser than everybody else, upset you thought she loved someone else. “I have work to do Ellen so go back..”, “Go back where Y/N/N? Go back where?” You grew in patient and finally caved, “Go back to bed, go back to bed and just leave me alone, leave me to do my own thing and you can have nothing to do with me, that way it won’t matter that I’m falling in love with you and want to be with you.. just leave me be.”
Instead of sitting back down you stayed standing and started angrily clumping together all your work while slamming the stamp up and down. She was shocked at your small outburst but she expected it. She had what she wanted, your confession. She had to hold herself from smiling. All she wanted was to be with you. She wanted to be yours, only if you’d let her. She hoped there would be some sort of relief now, she took herself off the end if your desk and trekked towards you. You were mumbling to yourself about work and sleep and what needs to be done around the ship.
She ever so gently placed a hand on the top of your arm and you tried to shake it off but she continued. She placed her free hand down on the papers you were messing about with. As you stopped fumbling she saw your walls begin to fall, head was down, your breathing was random yet easy, you were slouched, but you were leaning towards her. She brushed her fingers through your hair, combing away the hair that dangled and covered your face before she placed a hand on the side of your cheek, pulling your towards the crook of her neck. It was too hard to not. You gave in. You let your walls come crashing down as you tightly wrapped your arms around her waist, let you head tuck itself into her neck. Her hands roamed up and down your back, your sides and brushed through your hair. She held you closer than ever, gently kissing your cheek and whispering into your ear, “I love you too”.
That night was the best nights sleep you both had in a long time. You were in each other’s arms in her bed, in each other’s comfort, in each other’s security. You were both happy and you’d both stay happy for as long as you can remember.
