one of these days, he’s going to have to learn how to use the word no.
one of these days, hyunseok thinks, resolved. he can’t keep blindly agreeing to any request someone makes of him—he doesn’t have the capacity to help everyone on top of his busy schedule without running himself ragged. but easier said than done; since elementary school, hyunseok has been the type to acquiesce without putting up much of a fight. there’s the fear of disappointing someone, yes, but it goes deeper than that. he doesn’t want to be the kind of person who abandons someone in need. perhaps it’s led him to be too indulgent, too considerate of others, but he’s not really sure it’s possible to exist any other way. even a gentle no gets caught in his throat, and point-blank refusals are far out of his reach.
but it’s tiring to always be the one who says yes, to be the one who’ll drop everything at a moment’s notice for someone else. the one who’s resigned to a lifetime of pushing his own desires aside to accommodate other people. for the most part, he’s happy, even satisfied, when someone thanks him earnestly for all his help, but sometimes hyunseok just wants to say, i can’t, and stand by it. he’s not quite there yet—a goal for the future, then—but at times he feels like he’s making strides, when he manages to sidestep a request by the barest of margins.
and other times, he’s back to square one. though in all fairness, hyunseok doesn’t think there’s a way to turn down a request made by one of the coaches, even if he’s clearly in the middle of a practice session when asked. what else can he do but smile, bow, and say, “i’d be happy to help!” while cutting his practice short? he tries not to feel too bitter about it; the fact that they’d asked him is a good thing, isn’t it? can he view it as the coaches thinking he’s a responsible and trustworthy person? it takes some of the sting out of having to pack up his things and vacate the room in search of the main character here.
it takes almost half an hour and more than a few instances of awkwardly barging into occupied rooms before he finally finds the person he’s in search of. he lifts a hand and waves at aaron before entering the room, a grin slowly forming on his face. “hey! long time no see!” aaron was one of the first trainees hyunseok met when he’d first entered legacy, and he’d relied on the older man a lot in those early days. the memories are a little embarrassing to revisit now, but he likes getting the opportunity to meet with aaron again whenever he can.
he’s preoccupied with ruffling through his bag as he bounds up. “dad, the vocal coach asked me to give you some music sheets and, um, wanted to let you know that tomorrow’s session needs to be pushed back by fifteen minutes because they have—” hyunseok pauses as the sound of muffled laughter reaches his ears. the few scattered trainees around them are positively giddy with amusement, and perplexingly enough, looking at him. “hm? what’s so—”
oh. wait. he… did he… did he actually call… yes, his contact name for aaron is ‘legacy dad’ as a joke and yes, he does sometimes think of aaron as wise like a dad but he’s not supposed to say these things out loud! face burning in mortification, he freezes and blurts out a half-formed apology. ”uh, i’m—crap, dad, i’m so sorry for—wait, no, hyung, i’m sorry—”
