#librarian things

[libraryofgage]

Having been a librarian for almost 3 years now, I find myself wondering what being a librarian in Gotham would be like

Like....the professional ethics are still in play, right? The core ideas of open access to information free of judgement so long as patrons follow library rules like don't smoke in the building?

I just, any Robin except Red Hood and Oracle (I feel like they'd Know and Respect the librarian ethics) coming in and it's a conversation like this:

Librarian, sitting at the front desk by the entrance: hello, welcome to the library, how can I help you today :^)

Robin, returning a book with burnt edges: so, uh, did [insert villain] steal this or something

Librarian, after checking the book back in: all I can say is that it was checked out a few days ago. If you want to know more, I'd need to see an official warrant :^)

Robin: right, like, [villain] escaped Arkham Asylum a few days ago, did you seriously let them borrow "Pyrotechnics for Dummies?"

Librarian: if they requested the book, we gave it to them :^)

Robin: they were in Arkham uniform????

Librarian: we often get former incarcerated people who visit the library for computer access immediately upon release :^)

Robin: but you just???? Gave known villian???? A book that would lead to crime and explosions??????

Librarian: its not my job to assume what they do with the information I provide :^)

Harley Quinn, entering with her hyenas, both of which have those legit Service Animal Vests on: hiya, [librarian]! Got some books for ya

Librarian: Hello, Miss Quinn, just leave them there

Harley: sure thing, toots. Heya, little bat, never seen you around before. Kiddie section is over there

Robin, after Harley heads towards some shelves with her hyenas: Harley Quinn???? Those are hyenas???? Dangerous animals?????

Librarian, calmly checking in books: they're service animals that have been trained to perform a specific function related to Miss Quinn's health and safety :^)

Robin: you've gotta be fucking with me

Librarian, suddenly incredibly serious: please watch your language, Robin, or I'll have to ask you to leave

Robin: ME??????

[ofthehummingbirds]

officially a master of library and information science !! and I couldn’t have done it without my deep love of knowing too much about useless things and also fanfiction

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

things librarians judge you for:

saying the book came to you like that when clearly your dog chewed on it

trying to reshelve books on your own

yelling at us to get our attention

talking on your phone when we’re trying to assist you

yelling at non-management staff for policies they have no power over

asking for more time on the computer when the session has already logged you off, you needed to ask for that time 5 minutes ago

asking us to look something up for you by the call number. the call number tells you where it is. please just give me the title.

getting upset with us for anything COVID related

things librarians do NOT judge you for (unless they’re bad at librarianing):

reading erotica

using the copier incorrectly

not speaking english as a first language

being an adult and not reading grown up books

owing fines

liking romance novels

finding out your child’s card is blocked because they’ve been billed for books they’ve secretly been hiding behind their dresser

having books overdue

you liking graphic novels and comics

your CHILD liking graphic novels and comics. seriously. we just want them to read.

taking books off of a display

asking us to check and make sure we don’t have a book you returned (with COVID and quarantining books, more things are getting missed, so asking a librarian to do a shelf check is okay! but be nice. we are So Tired and Busy. if you say something like “if you’re busy feel free to check when you have time and get back to me” we will love you. we will probably be like “you’ve been nice so i’ll go right now”)

things librarians judge, but don’t judge YOU for:

James Patterson. Look. we all know everyone likes him. That’s great, we love that people read because of him! But we do judge James Patterson as an entity. He’s got so many goddamn books. they take up so much goddamn space. james. jimmy. jimsicle. just. stop putting your name on things, please, we are begging you. liking james patterson is Valid. BEING james patterson is not valid.

[jenesaiscloud]

oh wait i forgor the absolute highlight of the day tht started it off on a right note some boy borrowed a book fri n he came in this morning to return it n he was like miss i cant lie i rell enjoy this book n awww my heart no clue whst the book was abt or how to really but it was so nice to hear

[sunset-no-aozora]

did you know that a librarian is a

[carryonlikewedidbefore]

I use what I call "The Scotty Method" at work.

When people ask me to do something difficult or labour intensive especially under a time crunch I tell them that I'll do my best, but I can't guarantee that I'll be able to to do the entire thing in that amount of time and explain why.

That way they understand that they have actually given me a large amount of work and that these things don't just happen by magic (like so many people seem to believe) -Also sometimes they edit what their needs are which leaves me with less to do, but also when I inevitably finish the task I look like a god.

Its the equivalent of Scotty telling Kirk that he needs 18 hours to fix the warp drive and Kirk telling him that he's only got 12 and he always gets it done in time and looks like a fucking genius when he saves the day

[liyazaki]

today in “there’s hope for humanity, I swear”:

I was sick for a few days this week, laying in bed stressing about picking up some pies for a going away thing I was throwing the next day for someone at work.

my neighbor sees my car outside, texts to make sure I’m OK, then asks if she can add anything for me to her delivery order. she gets the pies for me, leaves them at my door & now we’re locked in a “TAKE MY MONEY I AM BEGGING” battle, in which she always finds a way to give the cash back. current score: angel neighbor 2, me 0.

the sweetest 74 year-old ahjumma came into my work today, needing to use a computer for the first time. she came to the US with her daughter from Seoul over a decade ago & has only ever worked in factories.

she was thrilled at the chance to be a cashier at a grocery store close to their home, but got so discouraged when they told her she had to apply online & that they couldn’t help her. I told her not to worry- we all start somewhere & we’d get it done together. I tried out some of my limited Korean while we were working & the way her face lit up- how excited she got? my heart almost exploded.

I showed her how to put her hand on the mouse, taught her what a keyboard was & 30ish minutes later, she had applied for the job. she wrapped me up in a bear hug, thanking me profusely for helping & for being interested in her culture. she promised she’d be back soon to teach me how to up my kimchi-making game.

later, a very elderly man stopped in front of my desk, openly staring. I’m bracing for an unsolicited hair comment, then he exclaims: “oh my goodness- look at that beautiful rainbow!”

[giraffeonstrike]

Instead of agreeing with us that history should not be hidden, higher ups have given us an even longer list of books that "need" to be pulled for various reasons.

So as of 6PM, the entire system and all it's employees are on strike.

There are only six branches, and around 40 employees, but that's an entire county with no operational libraries until county government stops holding information hostage and attempting to rewrite history.

I became a librarian because I strongly believe, and always have, that being a steward of knowledge and information is a privilege and that access to that information is critical. Not some sanitized version of what the people who hold the money over our heads think we should be allowed to know, be allowed to learn, but every line in every book and every crumb of truth within is our right to access.

From "Mein Kampf" to "The Diary of Anne Frank" to a bare bones history textbook, we deserve to know what happened, why, and how. You can't hide history, no matter how hard you try...

We won't let you, not anymore.