#lifetraps

[dreamer434]

Reinventing Your Life by Janet S. Klosko and Jeffrey Young

Worthwhile read on self awareness

[beyondthetemples]

Lifetrap Test

Your lifetrap is:

Multiple Lifetraps

You appear to have multiple, equally prominent lifetraps. It is possible that you have several lifetraps that are all strongly expressed and which co-exist in you. But, on the other hand, it is also possible that one of these lifetraps is your primary one and that the others merely accentuate it. We are unable to say. For the same reason, we are also incapable of giving you a more personalized description. But you can consult the charts below in order to see which lifetraps you scored the strongest on.

Well first of all, they’re not wrong. Dove has a lot of Struggles and Insecurities she needs help working through. I would say her Unrelenting Standards and Failure-Impairment go hand-in-hand, as well as her sense of “defectiveness”. Dove carries a heavy burden with her powers, and really, she HAS to be under a lot of pressure to maintain control as well as vigilance to make sure her powers are safely monitored, and of course there’s the usually-dormant but hard-to-contain threat of her evil inheritance being unleashed upon the world (which she has seen in DDD). The cost of failure is high for her.

I should mention that her answers a lot of the questions that probably contributed to the Defectiveness score were less about her feeling that she, herself, isn’t smart or strong or talented (though that’s true to a small degree), but much more that she feels a lot of admiration for the amazing people around her, and finds herself lacking in comparison.  

I’m not sure Subjugation is the right word for Dove’s struggle with Saying No; rather, that’s a side-effect of her social anxiety and co-dependence (which I will definitely be writing an essay on one of these days). Because Dove is so desperate to stay on the good side of the people around her, and because she has such a sullied self-image, she believes she has to put every effort into proving her self-worth, especially to someone she doesn’t trust truly and deeply to love her despite her flaws.

Ironically, despite being terrified of people getting to know her and her past well enough to outright reject her, she’s insecure enough (and aware enough of her lack of worldly experience) that she DOES become very dependent at times.

If I had to say which one is Dove’s biggest struggle, it’s definitely Failure. All her fears, her self-doubts, her trauma, her survivor guilt, stem from a poor self-image and the constant worry that she’ll fail, and because she’ll fail, Terrible Things Will Happen. She carries a lot of anxiety and guilt because of this, though her resilience against the guilt varies by her mood and company.

[the-weerdo]

I took that LifeTrap quiz everyone has been posting and I scored like 30% on 7 different ones and the results literally were like “sorry, we don’t know what this means and can’t give you a personalized summary.”

[next5min]

Let’s look at the neuroscience of habit formation. As we develop a habit, the brain switches from active learning—based in the pre-frontal area—to habitual responding—which is based in the basal ganglia, outside our conscious awareness. When the right trigger comes along, we respond with that habit, without our being aware. Habits stored by our brains mean we don’t have to pay attention to the many good habits that serve us well – everything from how to brush our teeth to what not to say to your boss.

The problem comes when habits don’t work for us. For many of us, our automatic reactions become set into negative emotional patterns, called schemas, that drive our lives. Dr. Jeffrey Young has identified 11 of these patterns that he calls lifetraps.

[shorva-kopji758-blog]

Playing Skylanders all the specs are set up and were running the game !!!! I love the base and the figures !🎮 👾👾👾 #fun #hobbies #interests #wiiu #wiiuskylanders #skylanders #games #videogaming #videogames #chillz #lifetraps #watertraps #lighttraps #foodfight > left #skylanders #pad #skylanderspad #sounds #lights #wiiufigures #wiiucharacters #sonicthehedgehog #nintendo #nintendowiiu #nintendofigures #wiiucontroller #procontroller

[queendopamine]

This website has a test for you to assess what your life traps are (formally called early maladaptive schemas).

Lifetraps have been learned in the childhood and in the adolescence as the way to react, feel, think and behave. When a lifetrap is activated today, we tune in to the feelings of childhood and operate unconsciously according to the coping styles learned in the childhood. Our emotions are not the actual problem, but the way they “lock us” in the harmful behavior. Lifetraps make us avoid or escape, surrender or attack in our life situations. These methods are harmful in adulthood and they work against us. Everyone has lifetraps. Our lifetraps make us sacrifice in close relationships to avoid feeling guilt, they make us submit to demands of others with the fear of unpleasant consequences or they make us adapt ourselves in group situations not to become outsiders. They cause us to demand from ourselves unreasonably good performance or dodge the challenges in the fear of a failure. They make us strive for new goals over and over again so that we will never achieve peace of mind. Because of our lifetraps, we feel guilty and worry about past mistakes. They make us feel bad, stupid or selfish and they make us feel shame and unworthiness, even though there is no need for that.

[leggings-and-oversized-hood-blog]

I should be so eager to begin the process of change but.. I'm scared

So reading through the "abandonment lifetrap" chapter of my lifetrap book and i felt like the person who wrote it has been secretly spying on me lol 'cos everything written was me in a nutshell. Anyways i made my way through the chapter and i'm now at the part where it's gonna start to talk about how to overcome the lifetrap and i haven't read any further. Like i read the subheading, semi-freaked out and haven't read anymore since. Like, i want to but it's like i'm scared or something. It's like, as much as i hate having issues with abandonment.. i feel like i'm not ready to begin the process of overcoming this. I'm scared. Like what if it doesn't work? What if it brings up a bunch of things that i'm not ready to deal with? What if i can't do it? All these things whirling around my brain and its stopping me from continuing the chapter. I'll probably continue it tomorrow morning on my way to school or something. If i make it. I have like 2hrs n 45minutes before i have to wake. Anyhow, it's just so weird to me that i could hesitate for hours on continuing the next part of the chapter, when this horrid fear if abandonment has ruined my relationship, cost me the love of my life and caused so many problems. I should be so eager to begin the process of change but.. I'm scared.. Kinda wish i didn't have to do this alone..

[leggings-and-oversized-hood-blog]

Abandonment lifetrap - Reinforcement?

So i'm reading my book on lifetraps and i'm at the chapter of abandonment and whenever i do any reading on the "fear of abandonment" there is always the recurrent idea that those of us with this abandonment lifetrap, are attracted to people or relationships that will enforce our lifetrap. Even my counsellor told me so. This means people who perhaps can't really be here physically or emotionally, people who have commitment issues or stability issues...etc all because we want to reinforce our lifetrap idea that everyone will abandon us. I understand this idea when it comes to other things, like I self sabotage friendships to subconsciously reinforce the idea that i have no friends and can't have friends. But with the abandonment lifetrap i find that i don't do that although according to research, it's something people with that lifetrap do. But i don't get drawn to people who i think will reinforce it, quite the opposite. I get drawn to stability and security. Someone who i think could stay forever. So i don't understand why it's a known thing for people with the abandonment lifetrap to try and reinforce it because i don't. Am i in denial? Do i do it subconciously? =S