Now I can’t imagine ever leaving him alone. My cousin died last week at the age of 36 due to complications from her diabetes. I used to be okay with dying “young” because I’ve always been told my Diabetes would do this that and the third to me after so many years. I was fine with that, I wasn’t special and I didn’t have anything keeping me here any way. But then I was growing a new life inside of me and I had to change my habits. This person I created is helpless now, and even when he grows into a handsome adult man, he’ll always need his momma. Lord knows I used to put so many toxic things into my body to kill the emotions and memories I didn’t want to face. Now I barely drink and I can’t imagine buying a pack of cigarettes. I’m not saying this to brag and pretend I’m 110% now, because I’m still a mess in a million ways (just ask my mom), but to say that my son is the reason behind so many things at this point in my life. The reason I started caring about nutrition and exercise which led to overall health and fitness. The reason I decided to go back to school and major in Public Health, with the goal of one day getting my Masters Degree and becoming an Epidemiologist. The reason I take the time out of my busy days off to make and prep future green smoothies for myself, my son, and his father (who HATES all veggies and most nutritious food but I want him to be around for our son for many years to come so I force him to make better choices whether he likes it or not!) The reason I want what I want in the next year to come, so he can grow up in a good house with space to run around and be allowed to be a kid- make messes, play outside- and have us both be able to spend extra time with him before these beautiful toddler days are gone. I just want to make these things happen so fucking badly.