#theyoungbruja

[theyoungbruja]

I’m just focusing on bettering my physical and mental health in order to make sure I’m the best ME I can be for my son. I want his healthy habits to continue from birth through life.

They say having a baby changes your life but it really gave me purpose.

Now I can’t imagine ever leaving him alone. My cousin died last week at the age of 36 due to complications from her diabetes. I used to be okay with dying “young” because I’ve always been told my Diabetes would do this that and the third to me after so many years. I was fine with that, I wasn’t special and I didn’t have anything keeping me here any way. But then I was growing a new life inside of me and I had to change my habits. This person I created is helpless now, and even when he grows into a handsome adult man, he’ll always need his momma. Lord knows I used to put so many toxic things into my body to kill the emotions and memories I didn’t want to face. Now I barely drink and I can’t imagine buying a pack of cigarettes. I’m not saying this to brag and pretend I’m 110% now, because I’m still a mess in a million ways (just ask my mom), but to say that my son is the reason behind so many things at this point in my life. The reason I started caring about nutrition and exercise which led to overall health and fitness. The reason I decided to go back to school and major in Public Health, with the goal of one day getting my Masters Degree and becoming an Epidemiologist. The reason I take the time out of my busy days off to make and prep future green smoothies for myself, my son, and his father (who HATES all veggies and most nutritious food but I want him to be around for our son for many years to come so I force him to make better choices whether he likes it or not!) The reason I want what I want in the next year to come, so he can grow up in a good house with space to run around and be allowed to be a kid- make messes, play outside- and have us both be able to spend extra time with him before these beautiful toddler days are gone. I just want to make these things happen so fucking badly.

[theyoungbruja]

Why I LOVE Gratitude Lists

Pre-motherhood I was a completely different person. I'm not saying I'm fixed (HAH!) or trying to preach anything to anyone but if you didn't know me then, or know me well beyond the co-worker/acquaintance level, then you probably didn't know the kind of person I have been for most of my life. There’s the person you present to people, the pieces of yourself that you ALLOW others to see, and there’s the part of you that hides in your mind. Who whispers things to make you feel like a giant bag of horse manure when you look for something to wear out of the house until you’re crying because you feel absolutely disgusting in everything. Or when you consider mustering up the courage to speak to someone whom you feel an inexplicable magnetism towards. The inner self who prevents you from doing anything that isn’t already comfortable because you convince yourself that you will FAIL. Basically, we’re talking about the kind of self-talk you don’t casually bring up in a conversation with people you are NOT on that comfortable level with. So here is 2014 Atalie. Ready??? BAM: pessimistic, angry (INCREDIBLY angry), deeply sad inside (for any or no reason at all, feeling worthless, like a constant failure, lonely, incapable of making people proud, etc.),…. a crying mess of pent up emotions I was afraid to feel or admit.  

AND NOW I AM SAVED. *hallelujah chorus breaks out*

Just kidding. BUT. I will say that over the past couple of years I've stumbled upon many, MANY self-help books that showed me how being grateful and loving the life you already live makes you open to new blessings and receiving those blessings, as opposed to complaining and seeing the world as “failing” you.

One thing that impacted my life tremendously (not even trying to exaggerate) was learning how how to change the course of my mood (and inevitably, my day) by making a gratitude list. Yes, its exactly what it sounds like. A list of things I am grateful for. After reading about the effects that the intentional act of being grateful has on a person, I found myself in these really low moods when I was focusing on these things that made me angry or these things that hurt me, I would be shaking with rage. What helped me the most wasn't any of the things I had learned before (like counting back from 10 or breathing slowly in and out, things that you learn in Anger Management), it was making a list of the things that make me happy and the things that I love. These lists are something that I do frequently know. I try to name new things in every list to avoid repeating myself but a few things tend to pop up more than once because those things are just that near and dear to my heart. It's something I strongly recommend anyone else to try if you're just having a horrible day, you're in a rut, you're stuck and need some mental clarity, you feel like you're drowning or you're so angry your skin is on fire (orrrr is that just me?). I'm not saying it will solve all your problems but it can change the mood you're in now and that counts, it really does. Just think about it, if changing the way you’re thinking about a situation can change your current mood, which can change your day, which in turn can change your week your month your year, why not?! Why not try to make things a little more positive, a little brighter???? It can put things in perspective for you and it will show you what matters most and why you should be happy with your life NOW. I'm not saying to settle (go chase that money, boo) you should always follow your heart but you should also always be grateful for what you have because someone else always guaranteed has it worse than you do. The phrase "you don’t know what you’ve got until its gone,” ring a bell for anyone? Yeah, its because its true and it sucks so appreciate the many blessings that surround you.

(((Here's one I made while sitting alone at Tapas on Main, sampling a ton of different seasonal sangrias. A ton. )))

[theyoungbruja]

Attack of the Flaming Joints

  Once upon a time, way back when the Young Bruja was about 19/20, the first attack of painful and debilitating inflammation occurred. I cried all night, unable to lift my arm or get any sleep because of the incredible pain I felt deep within my shoulder. No amount of stretching or massaging could help because it wasn’t in my muscle, it felt so much deeper that that. I truly and bluely wanted to rip my arm right off at the shoulder so it would stop. Several hours later, when the walk-in centers opened I was told I had something called Bursitis and given a shot in my butt cheek (of what I believe was a cortisone shot, or something similar that helps with the inflammation). After a full night of agony, I felt relief in about 30 minutes. This didn’t happen again for an entire year. Hallelujah. 

 Except the next time, it struck at night once more, and as I repeated the same steps as the previous time, I was told some very, very bad news in that medical room. I was about 5/6 months pregnant at the time and not only could I not have the shot that had “cured” me the last time, I couldn’t take anything for the pain besides Tylenol. The nurse rubbed my good shoulder for a minute while I sobbed briefly and waddled out with an arm sling and an ice pack. 

 That’s when I started doing some research on how to fight inflammation, seeing as how I no longer had the power of modern medicine at my side. I’ve learned that ginger is a strong agent for fighting inflammation and I’ll admit my fault in keeping up with my ginger tea when I’m not feeling any symptoms in my shoulder (or hip, since now we can add that one to the list). I drink a shit ton when I start to feel the tightness, or when it’s already too late and I’m all jacked up. Since then, my bursitis has started to act up way more often (like 3 times in the past month, 2 days requiring me to call off from work because what good is a warehouse worker that cannot walk or move her arm? The other time I was already off so that was a wonderful way to spend my day off). This is PROBABLY related to my job (it’s 1000% related to my job, let’s be honest) because Bursitis is caused by over exertion, repetitive motions, etc that cause the bursa (the sacs of fluid that surround our joints and help them move) to become inflamed and painful. I work 10 hour shifts lifting boxes and doing repetitive arm movements every one of those days! 

So yeah, NOT helping my case! Besides lots of ice, Tylenol, ginger, and also looking for a new job that will pay as much as this one does without destroying my body (and resulting in me wasting my hard-earned PTO days at home icing my joints and crying instead of relaxing or being productive) I’m wondering if anyone has any other home remedies to aide in the PREVENTION of inflammation as well as the treatment of it????

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated <3 

[theyoungbruja]

I’ve been doing a decent job of pushing myself, both physically and mentally, towards my fitness/strength/body goals as of late. Today, however, my given blessing as a woman has taken over me. It’s the day before my cycle begins which means I’m bloated and I look like I’m 6 months pregnant again (maybe I’m exaggerating by a slight month or two, but that’s what your period does to you, GOT IT?!). I feel like caca-poopoo. I’m irritable and lazy and emotional and just not in the mood. Not in the mood for any of it. Not your shit, not her shit, not his or even my own. But they “let us” leave work early today so I felt I just had to take advantage of that time and go to the gym on a day I typically wouldn’t be able to because of my work hours and their weekend closing times. I crawled through the front door, tossed my shit into a locker, skipped the weigh-in because I already know I gained like 5 lbs since yesterday 🙄, and went to my little area where I like to start my workouts with some HIIT cardio. I started my first round and I just couldn’t move. I was dragging through mountain climbers and I wouldn’t even call those “burpees” because THAT was horrendous. I had to sit down and basically get myself together real quick. It went something like, “Enough, Atalie. Yeah, it sucks. You feel huge and all that water weight is dragging you down but it’s really just you giving in. So what? Power through this. You don’t ever get to come here on Saturdays, now you have the time! You’re letting this period stop you from scorching calories like it’s your first one, bitch you’ve been getting your period for 13 years already, you said after you had those contractions with kai you would never curse your period again and here you are! Being ungrateful!” I just let the attitude slowly slip away and started being grateful for the fact I even have a period. That my body is healthy enough to ovulate and bear children. This shit is SACRED. I am a powerful fuckin being and in order to create OTHER powerful beings, sometimes you have to bleed a little and get gassy and cranky and crampy. ITS OKAY. So I used that knowledge of self, that empowerment, converted it into some fuel, and did what I could until the soreness of this past week took over. Menstrual cycles can be a challenging time, in all aspects: physically, emotionally, psychologically. But in all things that challenge us we can find fuel for something better, something productive or creative. I’m content with myself for overcoming this block I let fuck up the first part of my day, and now I will reward myself with some R&R when I go home with my bugaboo 💕Happy Saturday.

[theyoungbruja]

*screaaaams* BACK, baby. Wink wink. Nod nod. Wink. Nod.

Okay. First things first. My hiatus. To give you the Cliff Notes version, exhaustion and lack of inspiration. I’m famous (or infamous) for trying to cram an unreasonable amount of activities into any given time frame. On my days off I already go into them with a list of things to do but for some reason the obsessive overachiever in me will come up with 10 more things to add to my list. These are all things that NEED or SHOULD be done at some point and I try to prioritize but at the end of the day, not EVERY single thing gets done and even when I feel it has been a TRULY productive day, I don’t feel that I have enough time to sit down and write. Let alone write any piece someone else would want to use THEIR time to read, nah mean?

But I’m feelin’ it today guys.

Change doesn’t happen unless you get that ball rolling.

How will I ever have the time to do the things I’m passionate about if I keep living the life I don’t want to but feel forced to?

How will I get to my dream job/s, scheduling, and vacation time if I stay stagnant at some associate position in a job that leaves me physically drained and mentally craving a beer- or 3?

I won’t! I have to make the time!

So, update.

I’m making much more time for my workouts and I’ve found a pretty consistent routine, THANK GOD. For the longest I only went to the gym when it was convenient for the people around me and I mentally was never in the mood. When you go once a week (or even every other week) it almost seems like there’s no point to it.

I put my foot down.

I upgraded my gym membership and began a program that got me with a personal trainer and involved in these strength training and HIIT cardio sessions -insert hallelujah chorus sounds because YAAAAAAS bitch, I love it all*

I’m just going to add that everyone around me has told me this was a dumb idea and basically to keep finding YouTube videos to work from. Which has NOT worked for me!! I’m not knocking youtubers, at all. I’m just saying that I personally need a more personal form of guidance. When I go into the gym without a plan and I just find videos to follow, #1 I feel lost and unsure of what I’m doing and what I’m focusing on that day #2 I’m not getting the most out of my workout if my rest periods involve searching the internet and letting my heart rate drop. #3 I absolutely love my trainer and the fact that someone is there PUSHING me makes me give 110% EVERY TIME. I have never tried so hard in the gym, to be completely honest. We work together to push through the pain and the soreness and he educates me on what my metabolism is doing, what muscles I’m focusing on, how long I should rest, improving my form and why which makes me more inclined to do it better. I’ve always figured my form was probably horrible but It turns out I just need some slight tweaking for certain exercises ( like my squats ) and BAM, I’m doing an exercise CORRECTLY and getting my body used to it. I love my sessions, now. I sweat like crazy and I’m addicted to being sore the next day. Working out on my own and just guessing at what machines I should use, I would rarely feel sore and if I did I didn’t know what to do the next time I was in. I really felt stuck in my gym routine and I didn’t know what to do besides the same exercises I knew about. I love finding new ways to work my muscle groups and ESPECIALLY new ways to Sweat and get my heart rate up. So many girls I know love cardio, they love aerobics, they love going for runs. NOT THIS ONE. I hate the elliptical machine, I hate the treadmill, and I hate jogging. I thrive on sprints and the HIIT style of cardio. This is a style that WORKS for me which means I’m much more inclined to stick to it and actually see results, you guys. 😭

Plus the fact that my trainer is extremely passionate about what he does and it pours out of him in such a vibrant and excited way, it gets ME just as hyped and that’s so much better than feeling like I was forced to be at the gym and wandering around jumping into random sets!! It’s like a “GO TEAM!!!” Attitude versus “okay let’s get this over with.”

It’s only been 2 weeks but I feel so much better and I can’t wait to see a difference in my body. I’ve also been doing more research into issues I’m having with my body, digestion, bloating, etc so incorporating the new things I’ve learned should help as well.

Wish me luck ❤️

[theyoungbruja]

Something inside of me is very, very broken. when I look into the eyes of the Moon and spill my secrets into her, I can feel her warm, comforting embrace taking me into her bosom, allowing me to weep freely because she understands, she’s been with me since the beginning. Lighting up the night so I can see what is in front of me She takes my pain, my anger, my fear and makes it her own, selflessly. She tells me to keep going, that today is not the day I give in because I haven’t finished yet. She heals me in ways no person ever has or will be able to. This is what drew me to the practicing of witchcraft. My fascination with the moon, whom I’ve stayed up until the early morning talking to since I was a little girl, always feeling at home with her. My inexplicable love for the ocean and all life aquatic. My obsession with dreams of diving deep down into the abyss. The feeling I get when I’m surrounded by nothing but water, how I don’t want to come up for air. The connection I feel when I look into an animal’s soulful eyes and we both just know. My intuition and my gut instincts always speaking to me. The coincidences that couldn’t possibly be. It all connected perfectly. Mother Moon has been guiding me my entire life and for that, I am thankful.

[theyoungbruja]

I’m stuck in this place where I can’t wait for certain things but I also want time to freeze for others. Ya know? I miss time to myself. Any free time I get when I'm not working or keeping baby boy occupied is devoted to schoolwork these days…or laundry…or finally taking a shower (quickly. Bubbles & Bath bombs? Forget it.) Part of me can’t wait for my son to become a little more independent so I can do things that need to be done without keeping one eye on him at ALL.TIMES. 

But then I think about him growing up and another part of me doesn’t want this stage of clinginess to ever end. My arms will be empty once he doesn’t want to be carried around all day long. I want him to go to school so I don’t have to worry about how we’re going to make enough money with no babysitter and working around each other’s hours because someone always comes up short this way. Yet I know once he starts school and has friends it’s all over, it’ll go quickly and then he’ll be begging to go hang out with his friends instead of cuddling and watching movies his momma. I'll be "lame." ***air quotes and eye rolls*** I want him to be old enough to enjoy activities and adventures and education but I also love how at this stage, everything is exciting to him even if he doesn’t fully grasp the concept of what’s going on. I want nature walks and trips to the aquarium so often he knows every exhibit and can differentiate between species of sharks :') But I love watching his reaction when we play peek-a-boo or splash in the tub and its just INSANE to him, he's like "WHAT IS THIS MADNESS, YES MOMMA, NOISEEEE!" 

Sigh. The conflicting emotions of motherhood strike once again.

[theyoungbruja]

Intro to the Author

One of the few reasons I absolutely despise the single life-and therapy- is having to "explain" yourself to someone who has never met you before. Sure, some people love that blank slate feeling. Personally, I’m more of a, "how the F*** are you supposed to describe to someone WHO YOU ARE?” kind of being. You're probably asking yourself, "Where  is this puta going with this?" Well, alright. I feel as though typically when one starts a blog they are supposed to introduce themselves and answer the same basic questions of acquaintance you would answer on a first date. Like let's say: "What do you like to do in your spare time?" AKA Is this person a bum? Are your parents actually together?? Do you have any siblings? Are you going to waste my time? Rada-rada-rada-rada-rada." (Yes, a Chowder reference. These take place in my mind on an almost daily basis.) I don't know, folks. I honestly don't know what you want from me. I suppose if you have questions about my life then you're more than welcome to muster up the courage to ask. I promise to be as openly honest as possible (without incriminating myself or someone else...or planting seeds of possible future drama for this momma, to which I say, "No thank you!"). 

....For the meantime, i'll just leave some useful background information involving yours truly riiiight here: 

***23 year-old Latina mama of one Mr. Kai (baby boy who is currently at this time, almost 10 months old ***aiii que lindo***) 

 ***Proudly attending Northampton Community College (nationally ranked as a bomb-ass community college, FYI). Began as a Biology major, currently majoring in Public Health. Mostly online until Kai is a little bit older. Just a teensy bit.

 ***Child of the moon🌙 and water; a cancer through and through ♋ 

 *** Professional at nothing so far; DABBLES in whatever creative outet I find myself enjoying including written expression, "art", & photography (lately just involving my family). 

***Always in search of information and continued education. I have an insatiable appetite for learning that I pray doesn't die with old age. I want to experience as much of this life as I can before time runs out. I say how I feel because we don't have time to pretend. 

 ***Believer in good magik and the power of setting your intentions. I practice my own little rituals to help the people I love, to manifest love and happiness, and to help in healing. Or I’ll take a relaxing Venus bath because life is stressful to us all, sometimes. So we have to remember to breathe, and take care of our bodies and our spirits. I incorporate natural remedies into my life and the lives of my loved ones, but that does NOT mean I don't believe in modern medicine. As a Type 1 diabetic of over 15 years, I am SAVED by and fascinated with how technology can improve lives for so many people who have chronic conditions (I’ll give more of my thoughts on that at another time, this could take all day).