An excerpt from my fic The Life and Lies of Lily Evans. This is crack, but it's also canon. More fic snippets here. (In case I never finish this, you could probably read this as a wacky one shot I guess.)
— — — — — —
LILY EVANS PERFORMING THE PART OF VOLDEMORT’S SISTER
There was a playground. No, it wasn’t a playground. It was a vast, endless field. And on the field a brother and a sister were playing tug-of-war with their brother.
Severus Snape was stretched like a rope between Tom Riddle and Lily Evans, his long arms being pulled in both directions, both grips tight on his forearms.
“He’s my best friend!” Lily yelled.
“No, he’s my best friend!” Tom shouted back.
“No, he’s mine!”
“Mine!”
“Sev pinky promised me!”
“Well, he pinky promised me too! See?” Tom pointed to the tattoo of a skull with a serpent for a tongue on Snape’s inner forearm.
Sitting on the grass, a third brother - a child with wings and a lightning scar on his forehead - watched the spectacle in fascination, laughing and clapping enthusiastically at Snape’s misery.
“Don’t look so smug, Potter,” said Snape to the child. “They do this all the time. And you’re up next.”
Harry Potter’s expression turned from amusement to terror.
Snape looked back and forth between the two tugging on him, an expression on his face like he was being tortured by the Cruciatus. Then, finally, a determined look replaced it.
Snape snatched his arm out of Tom’s grasp and his body swung like a pendulum towards Lily, and Tom, losing balance from the force, fell to the ground.
Lily laughed loudly at Tom’s fall, while Snape simply averted his eyes.
Tom got up, nostrils flared, and for a moment he seemed as if he was going to curse them for the betrayal. Then, he burst into tears, and ran crying to his mother about how Severus Snape didn’t want to be his friend anymore.
Lily smiled wide, pleased at winning Snape’s favor, and after grabbing a disgruntled Harry, they marched off together, arm in arm, neither looking back.
— — — — — —
The scene shifted. Tom Riddle and Lily Evans were standing in Albus Dumbledore’s office, facing each other, looking to be about sixteen.
Dumbledore peered at them from where he stood in between them. “I have called you both here because I’m afraid this war has gone on too long. It’s time for the bloodshed to end and you two to make peace.”
Fawkes was on Lily’s shoulder, nipping affectionately at her.
Dumbledore continued on. “I have taken Harry to keep him out of harms way of this battle, and I am, of course, making sure he’s perfectly safe,” he lied shamelessly.
Fawkes went flying back to his perch, but a single phoenix feather remained on Lily’s shoulder, tickling her neck. Neither Lily nor Tom responded to Dumbledore's words; they only continued glowering at each other, green eyes burning into red.
“Fine. I’ll settle for you two not blowing up the roof of this castle every week with your bickering,” Dumbledore said drily. “Now, promise me, no more explosions.”
They both mumbled a reluctant agreement, neither of them quite planning to keep it.
“And,” Dumbledore added. “Shake hands.”
Tom and Lily looked at him with identical revolted expressions, a look very similar to the one they wore when Dumbledore preached his opinions on Dark magic and The Power Of Love.
“Shake hands,” Dumbledore said again, and his voice now sounded merry instead of stern, as if he was greatly enjoying himself.
Tom and Lily considered each other. Slowly, their hands touched, and for a moment everything was silent. Then, Tom convulsed like an electric shock had gone through him, and snatched back his hand, the palm now red and raw.
“Ouch,” Tom hissed, and glared at Lily with indignation. “My hand… She burned me!”
“Sorry,” Lily said innocently, like it was the truth. “Accident. Tends to happen a lot around him.”
She looked up at Dumbledore, all saintlike and doe-eyed. Only her mouth gave her away, which twitched for a moment like she was going to burst into laughter.
“You may go,” said Dumbledore.
Tom, furious, ran complaining to his mother about how that dratted Lily Evans was bullying him again.
It would be fun to have ship polls of Augurlight, Tomarry and Ginny×Tom cuz they are all fucked up relationships involving Potters and Riddles
I think we can take it a step further. (Not including Tomarry/Harrymort because we all know that ship would win since it's actually popular).
Pick a ship!
Augurlight (Delphi Riddle x Albus Severus Potter)
Tominny/Ginnymort (Tom Marvolo Riddle/Lord Voldemort x Ginny Weasley)
Fleamorfin (Morfin Gaunt x Fleamont Potter)
Euphemerope (Merope Gaunt x Euphemia Potter)
Marvenry (Marvolo Gaunt x Henry Potter)
Tomily/Lilymort (Tom Marvolo Riddle/Lord Voldemort x Lily Evans Potter)
Voldemont (Tom Marvolo Riddle/Lord Voldemort x Fleamont Potter)
Voting ended onJan 27
Legit had to look up character ages to figure this shit out. And you know what, I also don't care if the evil characters do an evil thing and date someone younger. It's almost like they're evil. Fleamont is the only exception but fuck it, why not? The fandom likes to pretend he's way younger than he actually is already.
ship question because I think you’re doing that, thoughts on Lily/Voldemort 🤔
thank you so much for the ask, pal!
i'm currently trying to make a lilymort fic happen simply because i delight in chuckling malevolently while writing, and it's tremendous fun.
not - obviously! - because i think it's particularly canonically plausible as a pairing, but because it allows me to indulge in two things i love about lily and voldemort's respective canon characterisation: that she's outrageously bolshy and that he's got an oedipus complex.
i think it's very, very striking that - while he does do this in the films - in the books voldemort never uses lily's name. when speaking about her to harry he only ever refers to her as "his/your mother", but - even more interestingly - in his internal monologue during the scene in deathly hallows in which we see him replay his trip to the potters' house the night he murders them, he also only refers to lily as "the mother" or "the woman", whereas he refers to james as... james.
his fury at lily's refusal to stand aside - her refusal to do [as he sees it] what his own mother did and abandon her child - is just pure projection of his eye-waveringly deep-seated mammy issues, and i really like the idea of that being taken to a slightly less murderous [but no less unsettling] conclusion.
especially because lily "i'd rather date the squid" potter would be having none of it. a woman who's got the gumption to tell voldemort to get fucked when he's seconds away from murdering her and her child isn't going to hesitate to tell him to get a grip when he's trying to persuade her into "i've come to collect you from the orphanage" roleplay.
and, since we know canonically that voldemort does have a weakness for bossy [and/or deranged] women with great hair, i think it's going the distance...
I am endlessly recommending slashmarks Voldemort because they write the absolute BEST version and it’s criminal that their fics don’t get more attention in Tom Riddle circles. I've recced these in my Voldemort rec lists, but reccing again - among the top favs are:
of all my demon spirits by slashmarks (Tom & Ginny, 1.7k, T)
Rec: Ginny writes to Tom after the events of CoS. Paints a detailed picture of Tom and Ginny's relationship, and it's a great character study of Tom in addition to Ginny.
But I think maybe you were lying when you said that I was boring and stupid after all. Do you remember when we talked about the last war and I didn’t understand how anybody could think muggles were animals, because even if I don’t really know any muggles we go into the village to get groceries and stuff all the time and Mrs. Hoof keeps sweets by the counter just to give them to kids like me? You teased me about being bought with candy, but then you said the Death Eaters had to decide muggles weren’t people in order to kill them, and that really most people do that all of the time, like with house elves and stuff. You said that it was because most people are hypocrites and can’t face their real choices, but I think maybe it’s something you do, too, Tom. Maybe I had to be a boring and stupid little girl because you were about to kill me.
endless nights took on my whole life by slashmarks (Bellatrix/Voldemort, Voldemort & Rodolphus, Bellatrix & Rodolphus, Sirius & Bellatrix, 12.4k, M)
Rec: My absolute favorite Tom Riddle POV. A HILARIOUS Voldemort and Rodolphus dynamic in addition to a wonderful Bellamort.
"I'll introduce you tonight," said Riddle. "We're going to meet her at her grandmother's house - Vera Rosier, I mean. Go get changed, I assume you need to go and find the correct cuff links and cloak trim for meeting a single girl in the presence of her widowed grandmother on a weekend in September during a waning half moon, or something."
"As my lord permits," said Lestrange, sure the fact that he was gritting his teeth was audible. He bowed his head, jerkily, and left the room.
Bellatrix was a new experience for Tom, as something of a kindred spirit. Abraxas might be the closest thing Tom would admit to a brother, but he had no real patience for magical theory or interest in it beyond utilitarian concerns, and Reinhard was simply too nice a person, deep down, a condition even the Lestranges had never cured him of. Bellatrix, though, was capable of sharing everything for the first time: she could keep up with him intellectually, she was as fascinated by magic as him, and any squeamish bone had long ago been extracted. Best of all, she shared Tom Riddle's fervent loathing for every aspect of magical Britain's society and his desire to personally torture to death most of the Wizengamot, which Tom had always known better than to fully express even to Abraxas.
8. fav ship with them
Probably Bellamort, but shoutout to my rarest pair Lilymort, which I mostly ship platonically but also enjoy romantically. Riddledore would probably be my #1 if I could get past Dumbledore being too old for me to ship (sry for the ageism…)
