Asking Empowering Questions
My biggest advice when reading tarot is to ask. the right. questions. I chat with people all the time who tell me their deck gave them a terrifying reading about the future, or they are frustrated with the answers their readings are giving them. So often, when I ask them what kinds of questions they are asking, it's yes or no questions. The easiest solution to a frustrating reading is to just ask empowering, supportive questions.
I get trapped in this too! Unfortunately, I am on tinder lately, and I get stuck worrying about someone and pick up the cards to ask if they have feelings for me. I'm not perfect, ok?! Sometimes I do ask questions that I would never advise someone to ask... This is one of them. And I usually regret doing the reading. Why? Because asking this question ALWAYS comes back with a frustrating answer. Say the cards say no. Well, that sucks. It seems like it was going well. Should I just ghost them? Probably not. But I'm left feeling discouraged and like I can't do anything. If I'm feeling particularly dramatic, it might make me want to give up dating altogether. I've definitely deleted tinder after a discouraging tarot reading... Perhaps though, this question is only frustrating because I got an answer I didn't want to hear? Maybe. But what if the answer was yes? Where do I even go from there? Ok, they like me but they haven't said that. Should I ask them? Terrifying. (But unfortunately, if you are asking yourself if you should ask them something the answer is usually yeah, you should communicate.) I still feel frustrated. Hopeful, I guess, but now what?
Common questions I get from clients:
will I get back with my ex?
what is going to happen with blank?
what's my next year or so look like in my job?
We often turn to tarot when we are anxious or afraid, and the questions we ask the tarot are usually the questions we are anxiously asking ourselves. The trick is to ask the right questions so you both walk away from your reading feeling better and able to do something about your situation.
One thing that can really help is to ritualize your tarot reading. There is a time and a place for the desperate pulling of cards, for tarot readings on your lunch break in your car (guilty), for crying and reading. I am not about to say that every single reading needs to be formal and part of a big ritual. I am saying if you're about to ask the cards (for the fourth time) if you're going to get back with your ex who keeps texting you at 3am, maybe you should sit down for a second, and make this a moment. Make some tea. Light a candle. Grab some crystals. Take a deep breath. And while yeah, all that's very mystical and maybe deepens your connection with the divine or whatever you believe, it's ALSO calming you down. Creating space between that anxious thought and the reading. Giving you space to find your calm and set your intention. So if you've just had a frustrating reading, step away, and next time you sit down with your cards, do it with purpose.
You've sipped your tea. Your lavender candle is filling the room with good vibes. Now you've got to form your question. Start by asking yourself "what is at the root of my anxiety? what do I truly want to know?" In the case of "do they have feelings for me?" or even "will I get back with my ex?" maybe it's not exactly that person that you want in your life. You want the feelings they give you. You want to not feel alone. You want to feel loved. Some questions I usually ask in this situation are:
what is the potential with this person?
how can I nurture this relationship?
how can I nurture my current relationships (friendships, etc)?
how can I bring more love into my life?
Other ways to set up a more empowering tarot reading:
Set an intention instead of asking a question. If you want to walk away from the reading feeling calm, empowered, and hopeful, set that intention and pull a few cards. Interpret the tarot's advice based on that intention.
Use a spread. There are so many spreads all over the internet that already have empowering questions built into them!
Ask a question that gives you something to do. "What can I do to achieve my goal?" or "What is my first step towards achieving my goal?"
For me, the purpose of tarot is to support me in living my most intentional life and owning my power. But like any tool, you can use it in a way that doesn't help you at all, or you can use it to build something.
If you have read this far, thank you!!! Let's practice :) Pop your empowering question in my ask box and I'll pull a card for you!!! :)
