A snippet of a little zyz x ll x zyc postcanon idea I've been playing around with, because I don't know how long this brainworm will last or if I'll ever finish this and I'm quite happy with this scene for now :')
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Zhao Yuanzhou slides the door of Li Lun’s chambers open without knocking or announcing his presence, Zhuo Yichen's words still fresh in his mind. It wasn’t a warning, per se—Zhuo Yichen would rather shatter his sword to pieces again than meddle into other people’s business umprompted—but Zhao Yuanzhou still felt the gravitas of his piercing blue stare.
Your boat found shore, but his is still drifting. Don’t be so cruel to deny him harbor once he finds land.
The young yao means well, Zhao Yuanzhou knows that. But the cutting edge of that advice had found its mark with all the deftness and brusque integrity of a soldier who values kindness but does not coddle.
Cruel.
He supposes he has been. Still is.
It’s a sober reminder of the constraints he cannot escape. He might not be a Vessel of the worlds’ ugliest feelings anymore, but his body remembers. Like a mask cultivating itself to sentience, he’d worn his viciousness like a shield for long enough it became skin. Back then, it had been his only weapon against Fate—the only way he could still make reparations for what he’d broken. He’d make himself bear the world’s scorn and die a willing death to its righteous blade. Only then, would he sate his guilt, ridding the world of its most vicious curse, and repaying his debt to karma at once.
Or would he?
Isn’t that just your excuse, a voice that sounds just like Zhuo Yichen’s tells him.
Disappointing his misplaced faith in him is a common endeavor for him—one that he usually partakes in with delight—but this time it leaves an odd taste in his mouth and an even weirder feeling in his chest.
Here’s the thing. He doesn’t want to be cruel anymore.
As much as Zhuo Yichen wishes for him to face his past with his head held up straight, though, Zhao Yuanzhou can’t shrug off his past like rained-on, sodden overclothes; his relationship with Li Lun is fraught with mistakes and far beyond an easy fix. He’s not convinced Li Lun would take kindly to a reconciliation.
As if to prove his unwillingness to match his effort, Zhao Yuanzhou enters the chamber to find Li Lun sitting at his boudoir, his back resolutely to the door. His gaze doesn't lift at Zhao Yuanzhou’s entrance; he must've sensed his approach.
Zhao Yuanzhou’s eyes trail the sparse hair ornaments and modest jewelry neatly arranged on the table to avoid the dark eyes staring holes at him through the golden mirror. His throat isn't working properly. He clears it, resisting the urge to fill the silence with a flippant quip. The tension in Li Lun’s jaw tells him he’s not in the mood to entertain a casual approach, or deal with the invasion of his private space any longer than necessary. His silent but not quiet glare keeps leaving its scorching imprint on the side of Zhao Yuanzhou’s face. Li Lun doesn't offer a greeting.
“What do you want?” he asks, his tone even as it's always been, guarded like Zhao Yuanzhou's a beast ready to pounce him and sink its merciless teeth into his undefended throat.
Zhao Yuanzhou tries not to show how much that distrust stings.
What did you expect? A warm welcome?
He swallows, trying to get rid of the bitter taste in his mouth. A foreign restlessness he's not used to feeling around his old friend settles into his core. His soul feels ancient and bone-tired, heavy with the weight of putting that distance in those eyes. He did that. He deserves their scorn.
Straightening the non-existent creases in the fabric of his robes, he folds one arm behind his back and makes himself step forward—hesitant at first, waiting for a denial, then emboldening when Li Lun’s eyes just follow his movement without comment.
Once close enough to touch, close enough to see the hesitance on his face reflected in Li Lun’s mirror, however, his bravado falters. Would it have been easier to talk to him, had he remained by the door? Why did he get so close in the first place?
“You should wear this one,” he says at last, filling the tense silence. His fingertips hover without grazing the silver bell ornament still in its finely carved wooden box, untouched as the day it was gifted. The sadness in his heart settles into familiar resignation.
You haven’t thrown it away. In light of that, the fact that Li Lun hadn’t yet kicked him out doesn’t sound like the achievement it had felt at first.
“Why?” Li Lun's eyes have abandoned the side of his face to settle on the hand still hovering above the jewelry, a strange, cloudy expression twisting his delicate features into something resembling offended turmoil. Wariness, perhaps. Zhao Yuanzhou doesn't dare read any confusion in it—knows Li Lun’s unyielding fighting spirit better than to expect any lenience for a bared, unguarded weakness.
He smiles, willing it to reach his eyes. His hand retracts as if burned. He tucks that, too, gently inside the welcoming fabric of his sleeve. It does well to mask its trembling.
“So he can find you,” is all he says.
At last, his eyes crinkle with genuine warmth.
Your harbor, he thinks, doesn’t have to be with me.
Imagine the post canon zyz/ll/zyc throuple shenanigans we could've had if Zhao Yuanzhou had casted the Chaos spell on Li Lun's soul the same way he used it on Pei didi, tying it to his rattle drum before it completely burned up. I'd imagine LL to be very moody about this btw. Stuck in a piece of wood, unable to materialize at will, but somehow still managing to appear at the most inconvenient of times. If Pei Siheng used the spell to be his sister's armor, I like to picture LL using it to be The Botherer. Oh, so the two of them are sharing an intimate moment leading up to a kiss? It would be too bad if a gust of wind and twirling leaves broke them apart, and if there was suddenly a humanoid Li Lun in the middle, demanding attention too. One week of this and Zhuo Yichen threatens to make compost with the drum holding Li Lun's soul. Three months in, and Zhao Yuanzhou is down in the DHB's archives, begging Wen Xiao to help him find a solution to save his poly marriage without having to contact a human lawyer well versed in separation of property. The 100 years until Li Lun finally recultivates into a human body are enough for him to cultivate Blue Balls, also known as the emotion you feel when you suddenly disappear in the middle of funky times one heated make out too many
Thinking about how Zhuo Yichen and Zhao Yuanzhou were willing to freeze themselves into a block of ice for eternity to make sure the other would survive, and how that ultimate act of love for each other is what saved them. And then thinking of Li Lun being willing to burn himself to ashes with no chances of return to make sure both Zhao Yuanzhou and Zhuo Yichen would survive the battle and live well, unburdened by the same mistakes he did. And how that same ultimate act of love, giving himself up fully for them, in body and in spirit, is what saves them during the One Word Spell. I am unwell
New headcanon: when Zhao Yuanzhou waxes poetics about how floor length white hair is a symbol of great demon power and thus it is "incredibly beautiful" to other demons, he's not making a blanket statement about beauty standards in the Wilderness, but rather exposing how much he wanted to impress one (1) particular great demon. Evidence:
1. His true form doesn't have a full head of silver hair the way he used to wear it when he went out on dates with Li Lun in the human realm, proving that he purposely altered his outwards appearance to look handsome and strong
2. No other demon in the show has a white mane except Fei, whose true form once again has black hair as well. Even Cheng Huang's, arguably the oldest and most powerful great demon "alive", was blond
3. Bingyi commanded an army at a time where demons had no structured society yet, and Ying Long had a gift of creation so powerful he could bring the world back from the brink of chaos and end a war between gods; yet neither of them had white hair
4. After the fallout with Li Lun, Zhao Yuanzhou reverts to mostly black with the signature three gray strands, almost like he had no one left to impress now that he hangs out mostly with humans
5. Li Lun does think of Zhao Yuanzhou as a force of nature with immense power, taking great pride in being his equal
Conclusion:
It might or might not be a myth that floor length white hair is a symbol of demonic might, but it was definitely one of Li Lun's kinks. Pass it on
