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THE SPACE BETWEEN US

SYPNOSIS originally, jay park was planning on debuting two co-ed groups, but everything goes wrong for you once your ceo decides to change his mind about the final lineups.

WARNINGS/DISCLAIMERS MAKE SURE TO READ PART 1 BEFORE THIS !! angst, emotional breakdowns, crying, friendship conflict, harsh words, verbal conflict, insecurity, abandonment issues, trainee pressure, unhealthy eating mentions, fainting mentions, overtraining, emotional distre

AUTHORS NOTE pt2…how we feeling chat……this took me like two weeks to write omfgggg🫩🫩and i dont even like it that much.. BTW IF THIS SERIES FLOPS IM GENUINELY GOING TO RIP MY HAIR OUT PLEASEEE DONT LET IT FLOP I AM BEGGING

⤷ O1 | O2 | next

⤷ SERIES MLIST

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after that meeting, everything had changed, even if nobody wanted to admit it out loud. the atmosphere that had once been filled with loud conversations and stupid jokes had disappeared almost instantly, replaced by a silence that followed all of you everywhere you went. louis and woojin were clearly unsettled by the arrangement jay park had forced onto the group, neither of them understanding why something that had been planned one way for so long suddenly had to change overnight. minhee looked just as conflicted, though she kept most of it hidden behind quiet nods and blank expressions whenever someone looked her way. but none of them carried the weight that you and jihye did.

the two of you hadn’t spoken a single word since leaving that room. it wasn’t because either of you were angry, and it wasn’t because you blamed each other. neither of you even knew what to say. (or at least, thats how you felt. you thought jihye felt the same way.)

for years, every difficult moment had been something you faced together, yet somehow this one felt impossible to put into words. she needed space to process everything that had happened, and so did you.

dinner was painfully quiet.

the four of you sat around the table, eating because you knew you had to rather than because any of you were hungry. the only sounds filling the room were chopsticks gently hitting bowls and the occasional chair scraping against the floor. every now and then someone glanced toward the empty seat that should have been occupied by jihye, but nobody commented on it. everyone already knew where she was. she had locked herself inside the room the two of you shared almost as soon as you had gotten back to the dorm, probably lying on her bed while staring blankly at the ceiling, trying to convince herself that this was actually happening.

you couldn’t bring yourself to go back in there.

instead, after forcing down a few bites of food, you quietly excused yourself and disappeared into louis’ and woojin’s room. neither of them stopped you. they simply watched as you walked away before returning to their untouched dinners, both knowing you needed somewhere that didn’t remind you of the conversation you’d eventually have to have with jihye.

you curled up on louis’ bed, pulling your knees tightly against your chest as you stared through the window at the dark sky outside. the moon hung quietly above the city, completely unaware that your entire future had been rewritten in less than an hour. tears rolled endlessly down your face, soaking into the sleeves of your hoodie as you tried to keep quiet, but the harder you fought the sobs, the more your chest hurt.

this had never been your dream.

jihye had dreamed about becoming an idol ever since she was little, talking endlessly about stages, microphones, albums, and fans who would someday know her name. you had never shared that dream. you had simply gone to the audition because she had begged you not to let her go alone. you remembered laughing together outside the building, promising each other that there was no way both of you would actually pass.

then you did.

you stayed because she stayed.

you trained because she trained.

every exhausting practice, every evaluation, every day you wanted to give up became bearable because she was beside you. if she hadn’t been there, you would’ve gone home months ago without a second thought. none of this had ever been for you.

and now they were asking you to take the place she had worked years for.

a quiet knock interrupted your thoughts. you didn’t answer.

another few seconds passed before the door slowly creaked open, revealing woojin’s face first. he peeked inside carefully, almost like he was worried he’d startle you, while louis leaned awkwardly behind him, trying to look past his shoulder without actually pushing him out of the way.

the moment woojin noticed your red eyes, his shoulders sank. “…yeah,” he muttered softly, mostly to himself.

he pushed the door open the rest of the way and walked inside, louis following close behind. neither of them asked if you were okay because the answer was painfully obvious. your cheeks were soaked with tears, your breathing uneven, and your entire body looked like it had folded into itself.

without saying a word, woojin sat down beside you first. louis climbed onto the other side of the bed a second later, leaving just enough space between the three of you that you didn’t feel crowded. for a while, nobody spoke. the room stayed completely silent except for the occasional sniffle that escaped before you could stop it.

then something inside you finally broke.

you buried your face into your knees, wrapping your arms around your legs as the tears came harder than before. the quiet crying you’d been holding back turned into shaky sobs that made your shoulders tremble uncontrollably, every emotion you’d been forcing down since the meeting spilling out all at once.

woojin immediately reached over, his hand slowly rubbing circles against your back with the same steady rhythm, never rushing you to calm down. louis quietly rested the side of his head against your shoulder, saying nothing as he stayed there, letting you know you weren’t crying alone.

“it’s not fair,” you whispered through broken breaths, your voice barely audible between sobs. “she wanted this… she wanted this so much.”

neither of them interrupted.

“i didn’t even…” you swallowed hard before trying again, your words falling apart as quickly as they left your mouth. “i only came because she was scared to audition alone. i stayed because she stayed. if she left, i would’ve left too.”

your breathing hitched again. “how am i supposed to stand on that stage knowing it was supposed to be her?”

woojin looked down at the floor, his jaw tightening because he didn’t have an answer.

louis closed his eyes for a moment before quietly speaking, his voice almost breaking along with yours. “i know.”

those two words somehow made you cry even harder because they really did know.

they knew you and jihye spend years side by side. they had seen every practice where the two of you encouraged each other, every evaluation where you celebrated together, every bad day where one of you refused to leave without the other. they knew better than anyone that if there was one person who had never cared about debuting, it was you.

woojin gently squeezed your shoulder.

“you’re hurting because you’re thinking about her before yourself,” he said quietly. “that’s exactly who you’ve always been.”

you shook your head desperately. “i don’t want this if it means taking it from her.”

the room fell silent again, neither of them could tell you that you were wrong.

the next morning arrived far too quickly, almost like the universe had decided neither of you deserved enough time to prepare for the conversation that had been waiting ever since that meeting. despite barely sleeping, you still forced yourself through your morning routine, quietly getting dressed while avoiding looking toward jihye’s side of the room. she had already finished getting ready by the time you woke up, and neither of you said a single word before leaving the dorm with everyone else.

the walk to more vision felt longer than it usually did. louis and woojin stayed a little ahead, speaking quietly with minhee but you barely paid attention to any of it. your eyes stayed fixed on the pavement beneath your feet until you noticed another pair of footsteps slowing to match your pace.

when you looked up, you saw jihye.

she wasn’t beside you completely, leaving just enough distance between you to avoid making it obvious to the others, but it was enough for you to understand what she was trying to tell you. she still refused to look at you, yet she had deliberately fallen behind everyone else instead of staying with the group.

she wanted to talk.

once you arrived at more vision, everyone quietly made their way inside the building before climbing the familiar stairs toward the fourth floor. the hallway looked exactly the same as it always did, yet somehow it felt unfamiliar today, almost like yesterday had changed even the walls around you. everyone walked into the practice room, automatically heading toward the corner where all of you always left your bags before training.

you had just set yours down when you felt a gentle hand rest against your shoulder.

before you even turned around, you already knew who it was.

you lifted your head and found jihye already walking back toward the door without saying a word, never once looking behind her to check if you were following. she didn’t need to.

you immediately stepped away from your bag and followed after her.

as you walked past the others, minhee gave you a small, sympathetic smile that barely reached her eyes, silently wishing you luck without saying a word. woojin and louis watched you leave just as quietly, both of them exchanging worried glances before looking back toward the open doorway.

they knew exactly what conversation was about to happen.

outside the practice room, the hallway was almost completely empty.

jihye slowly lowered herself onto one of the wooden benches against the wall, leaving enough space beside her for you to sit. you joined her a second later, but the silence that settled between the two of you felt heavier than anything either of you had experienced before.

she wouldn’t look at you. her eyes stayed fixed on the floor, her fingers twisting together so tightly that her knuckles had turned white.

you waited.

one minute passed, then another. finally, unable to bear the silence any longer, you carefully turned toward her.

“jihye…” you began quietly, your voice almost hesitant. “are you… mad at me?”

the words echoed softly through the hallway. jihye didn’t answer. instead, she slowly stood up from the bench.

you instinctively looked up at her, confusion washing over your face as she stopped directly in front of you. tears were already streaming down her cheeks, falling one after another despite how desperately she tried to stop them.

for a moment, neither of you moved.

you had never seen her eyes like this before. there was sadness buried inside them, but it wasn’t alone. frustration swirled together with anger, hopelessness, exhaustion, disappointment, grief, all of it crashing together until you couldn’t tell where one emotion ended and another began.

then her lips parted. “why you?” the words came out like a blade.

the bitterness behind those two words alone made your heart stop. you stared at her, completely frozen.

in all the years you had known jihye, through every difficult evaluation, every sleepless night, every moment where both of you thought about giving up, you had never once heard her speak to anyone with that much anger.

especially not to you.

“jihye…” your voice cracked almost immediately.

she squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head before you could say anything else. “stop.” the single word came out through gritted teeth.

“you’re the last person who should be debuting.”

your chest tightened.

“you don’t deserve it.”

the sentence hit harder than you expected.

your eyes immediately filled with tears, but you couldn’t even find the strength to defend yourself. you simply stared at her, your breathing becoming uneven as she struggled to keep herself together.

“this was never your dream,” she continued, her voice breaking despite how angry she sounded. “you never wanted this shit.”

another sob escaped her before she wiped at her face with the sleeve of her hoodie, only making the tears worse.

you slowly stood from the bench until you were face to face with her. she looked completely shattered.

“if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t even be here,” she cried, her voice growing louder with every word. “you would’ve gone home years ago. you would’ve had a normal life. you don’t want this. you don’t want cameras following you everywhere. you don’t want people judging everything you do. you don’t want to spend your whole life trying to be perfect.”

she took another shaky breath before looking directly into your eyes. “this isn’t what you wanted your life to become.”

the tears running down both of your faces blurred your vision.

“it’s not fucking fair,” she shouted, the words finally breaking into a sob. “i wanted this. i’ve wanted this my entire life, and somehow you’re the one who’s debuting when you never even asked for it.” her voice echoed down the empty hallway.

the silence that followed jihye’s shouting only lasted for a second, but it felt much longer.

your hands had begun shaking without you even noticing, every emotion you had spent years burying suddenly forcing its way to the surface. for so long, you had convinced yourself that everything you had sacrificed had been worth it because it meant she wouldn’t have to face this world alone. you had never expected her to thank you for it. you had never expected her to even understand it.

but hearing her talk as if none of it had mattered made something inside you finally snap.

“i did this all for you!” you shouted, your voice cracking so badly it barely sounded like your own. tears continued streaming down your face as every word tumbled out faster than you could stop it. “i lost sleep, i trained until i was exhausted, i’ve fainted, i’ve starved myself, i’ve become a completely different person, for you. just so you wouldn’t be alone in this. every single time i imagined you going through this hell by yourself, my heart actually hurt. i couldn’t leave you here alone. i didn’t want any of this to happen either!”

jihye simply stared at you. for a brief second, you almost thought she understood. then she let out a bitter scoff before shaking her head, another wave of tears falling down her cheeks.

“you weren’t supposed to come this fucking far, y/n!” she yelled, her voice echoing throughout the hallway. “i don’t even know what those judges saw in you that day. i only brought you because i needed someone beside me for the audition. i didn’t think you were actually gonna pass.”

each sentence landed harder than the last. “i didn’t want you to do any of that for me!”

you stared at her, your lips slightly parted as if you wanted to answer, but nothing came out at first.

all those years. every practice. every evaluation. every night you stayed awake comforting her after she’d convinced herself she’d never debut. had she really never wanted you beside her?

your breathing became uneven. “what the hell is wrong with you?” you finally shouted back, your voice louder than it had ever been. “you’re acting like you’re never gonna debut. why are you so fucking angry over this? maybe we won’t debut in the same group, but we’re still gonna be under the same company. we’ll still see each other every day. why are you so pissed off over this?”

jihye laughed. it was broken. “because you’re gonna replace me!” she screamed, tears falling faster than she could wipe them away. “the second you step onto that stage for the first time, you’ll forget all about me.”

your expression immediately fell. all the anger disappeared from your face, replaced by disappointment and hurt. you looked at her for several long seconds before slowly shaking your head.

“all i wanted,” you whispered, your voice trembling as the fight drained out of you. “was to take care of you.” another tear rolled down your cheek. “i just didn’t want you to be alone during all of this.”

jihye looked away. “why would you let yourself go through all that?” she muttered bitterly before folding her arms tightly across her chest. “it’s not like we’re dating.”

the words hit you so unexpectedly that your entire body froze. they weren’t the cruelest thing she’d said today. they weren’t even close, yet somehow they hurt the most.

you couldn’t explain why.

you stared at her for another moment. you could tell she regretted what she said from the look on her face.

you quietly nodded to yourself. “…right. we’re not.” it was barely louder than a breath. without another word, you stepped around her and began walking away.

you didn’t know where you were going. you just knew you couldn’t stay there anymore.

your vision had become so blurry from crying that you almost walked straight into someone turning the corner.

“hey, good mor—” jay park’s greeting stopped halfway through.

the smile he’d been wearing disappeared almost instantly as he looked at your face. your eyes were swollen, tears still stained your cheeks, and your breathing was shaky enough that it was obvious something had happened.

his eyes immediately shifted past you toward the hallway behind you, where jihye still stood motionless with tears covering her own face.

his expression changed completely. “…what happened?”

you didn’t even have the energy to answer. “i’m skipping today,” you said quietly, cutting him off before he could ask anything else.

for the first time since joining more vision, you walked straight past him without waiting for permission.

you didn’t know where you were going.

the only thing your body seemed capable of doing was putting one foot in front of the other, over and over again, without ever stopping long enough to think. you walked past crowded streets, traffic lights, cafés filled with people laughing over coffee, and storefront windows reflecting your exhausted expression back at you. you barely noticed any of it. the tears had slowed at some point, but they never truly stopped, quietly slipping down your cheeks every few minutes before you wiped them away and kept walking.

after a while, your legs began protesting.

your ankles ached with every step, your knees felt stiff from walking far longer than you ever normally would, and your shoulders had become heavy enough that they almost hurt. you had absolutely no idea how much time had passed or how far you had wandered away from more vision. you hadn’t looked at your phone once.

before you even realized where your feet had taken you, the salty smell of the ocean filled the air.

the beach.

you couldn’t even remember buying the ramen.

one moment you had been wandering through the slightly familiar streets, and the next you were sitting alone on a weathered wooden bench facing the sea, a small paper bowl of spicy ramen warming your hands while waves crashed endlessly against the shore ahead of you. people walked past in groups, children laughed somewhere farther down the beach, and seagulls circled overhead as though the world hadn’t completely fallen apart only a few hours ago.

you slowly lifted another bite to your mouth. the spice burned your tongue but you barely tasted it.

another tear rolled down your cheek before landing inside the broth. your chest tightened all over again, your mind refusing to stop replaying the conversation.

every word jihye had thrown at you echoed over and over until you could practically hear her standing beside you again.

you weren’t supposed to come this far.

i didn’t want you to do any of that for me.

we’re not dating.

you stared blankly at the waves. was that really what she’d thought all this time?

had she spent years watching you sacrifice everything for her while secretly wishing you had never stayed? had every smile, every thank you, every promise that the two of you would debut together only been hiding those thoughts underneath?

or had she only said those things because she was hurting?

you didn’t know anymore. somehow, not knowing hurt even more.

your appetite disappeared completely. you quietly placed the paper bowl beside you on the bench before dragging the sleeve of your hoodie across your face, trying to wipe away the tears before anyone noticed. it didn’t matter.

more immediately replaced them. your breathing became uneven again. you lowered your elbows onto your knees before burying your face inside your hands, and this time you stopped trying to stay quiet.

the sobs came all at once.

your shoulders shook violently with every breath, your chest hurting so badly that it almost felt impossible to inhale properly. each breath ended with another hiccup, another broken gasp, another wave of tears soaking your palms as you completely lost whatever composure you still had left.

people slowed down as they walked past. some glanced over with concerned expressions before quietly continuing on. others looked away awkwardly, pretending not to notice.

you could practically feel dozens of curious eyes lingering on you but you didn’t care. right now, the embarrassment couldn’t even compare to the ache sitting inside your chest.

you cried until your head began throbbing. until your eyes felt swollen enough that opening them became uncomfortable. until every breath caught in another painful hiccup.

eventually, with trembling hands, you reached into your hoodie pocket and pulled out your phone.

the screen lit up instantly and your stomach sank.

missed call after missed call filled the screen from woojin and louis. more messages kept stacking underneath them faster than you could even read the notifications.

where are you?

please answer.

are you okay?

just let us know you’re safe.

your thumb slowly scrolled farther down. three missed calls from minhee, and one missed call from jay park.

your eyes searched the screen one more time. then again. then one last time.

nothing.

no missed calls from jihye. no messages. not even a single notification.

your vision blurred immediately. you stared at the screen for several long seconds as though another notification might suddenly appear if you waited long enough.

it didn’t.

your lower lip trembled. for whatever reason, out of everything that had happened today, that hurt the most.

because despite everything she had shouted at you, despite every cruel word that had been thrown between the two of you, some small part of you had still believed she’d call.

just once. just to make sure you were okay. when she didn’t, it felt like losing her all over again.

another sob escaped your lips before you doubled over again, clutching your phone tightly against your chest as tears poured down your face.

you had no idea how long you had been sitting there.

the waves continued crashing against the shore with the same steady rhythm, people kept walking along the beach as though nothing unusual was happening, and your ramen had long gone cold beside you. your breathing had finally started evening out, but every few seconds another hiccup escaped anyway, reminding you just how hard you had been crying.

then, without warning, the bench shifted beneath you. the sudden movement startled you enough to pull your face away from your hands.

you sniffled loudly before slowly lifting your head, expecting to find some stranger asking if the seat was free.

instead, you froze. ohyul sat beside you with his backpack resting against his feet, staring out toward the ocean with an expression that somehow looked permanently annoyed.

“wh…” another hiccup interrupted you before you could finish speaking. “…what?”

he turned his head just enough to look at you. his eyes scanned your swollen face for a moment before he let out a quiet scoff. “jesus,” he muttered. “you look horrible.”

your bottom lip immediately began trembling again. more tears filled your eyes before you could stop them, making you quickly look away in embarrassment.

“look,” he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as though this conversation was already exhausting him. “i hate being the bearer of bad news or whatever, but you and your friend were kinda loud during your argument.” he paused. “everyone heard.”

the words hit you harder than you expected. your shoulders immediately dropped. before you even realized it, fresh tears had already started rolling down your cheeks again.

great.

not only had the worst argument of your life happened in the middle of the hallway, but everyone at more vision had apparently heard every painful second of it.

ohyul glanced sideways at you before sighing again. he looked back toward the ocean, squinting slightly against the sunlight reflecting off the water. “dpn sent me to find you,” he said casually. “why the hell are you an hour away from the building?”

you stared at him in disbelief. was he seriously talking about the distance right now?

you wiped your face with your sleeve before glaring weakly at him. “how…” another hiccup interrupted you. “…how did you even find me?”

he stayed quiet for a second before shrugging one shoulder. “the young one told me you’d be here.”

you frowned. “…the young one?”

he looked at you like you were the confusing one. “yeah.”

“…louis?” another tear escaped before you could stop it. just hearing his name made your chest tighten again. of course louis knew where you’d go.

out of everyone, he had always been the one who noticed the little things. the places you wandered off to after particularly difficult evaluations, the foods you bought whenever you were stressed, the quiet corners you hid in whenever everything became too overwhelming.

he knew you well enough to send someone straight here. the realization alone almost made you start crying all over again.

ohyul groaned dramatically. “i don’t know, dude,” he muttered. “i think he’s french or something.”

despite everything, you let out the smallest, most pathetic laugh through your tears. it lasted less than a second.

ohyul happened to glance back toward you at exactly the wrong moment. “…why the hell are you…” he stopped mid sentence before reaching into his backpack.

after digging around for a few seconds, he pulled out a small carton of chocolate milk and awkwardly held it toward you. “here.”

you blinked.

“…do you want this?”

before you could answer, he looked down at the drink with visible regret.

“please say no,” he sighed. “i spent most of this week’s allowance on this.”

you didn’t even hesitate. you snatched it straight out of his hand before he had the chance to change his mind.

he stared blankly as you pulled the paper straw from the side, pushed it through the foil, and immediately took a long sip without acknowledging anything else he’d said.

he watched the chocolate milk disappear from his hand before slowly looking up at the sky. “that was kinda rude.”

you lowered the carton, finally turning toward him. “it’s your fault.”

he blinked. “what is?”

“yours,” you repeated, your voice sharper now. “and your friends’.”

ohyul frowned. “are you speaking gibberish?”

“this whole thing happened because of you.”

he continued staring at you, confused.

“why should our lineup change because you and ryul can’t get along with girls?” you snapped, all the frustration finally bubbling over. “are you seriously that selfish? you’re taking something so important away from us because the two of you can’t stand training with three girls.”

your breathing became uneven again. “do you have any idea what this has done?”

for the first time since sitting down, ohyul didn’t immediately answer. he simply let you finish. after some time, he slowly leaned back against the bench. “you done?”

you stared at him. “…that’s your response?”

he reached into his pocket. “hold on.”

you watched in disbelief as he completely ignored everything you’d just said. he pulled out a handful of crumpled bills and coins before carefully counting them one by one in his lap, his lips silently moving with each number.

after a few seconds, he nodded to himself. “…nice.” he stuffed the money back into his pocket before standing halfway.

“i’ve got just enough to buy us ramen.” he looked down at you. “you want some?”

you could only stare. slowly, your eyes drifted downward toward the paper bowl of half eaten ramen sitting directly between the two of you on the bench before you looked back at him. “i just ate.”

he followed your gaze toward the bowl, then he shrugged. “more ramen never hurt anybody. move your ass.” he grabbed you by your hood, and dragged you up, ignoring your curses. “wow, is that really how you talk to your leader? dont let ryul hear you, he’s gonna beat you up.” he smirked at you.

you glared at him, slapping his hand away from your hood harshly. “don’t freaking touch me. jay park has finally lost it if he made you the leader out of everyone.” you scoffed, rolling your eyes as you both walked around, trying to find a cheap restaurant. “yeah, well, if it was ryul here right now he would’ve drowned you in the ocean, so be grateful, ‘kay?” ohyl sarcastically smiled at you, before rolling his eyes.

“maybe he’s just a bitch. you ever thought about that?” you snorted, finding yourself funny. ohyul suddenly stopped walking and turned to look at you. “you’re smiling.” he said.

the smile immediately dropped from your face. “no i’m not.” you rolled your eyes.

ohyul stared at you for little bit more, before sighing. he placed his hands on his hips and looked up at the sky. “do you even know where we are right now? this is the first time i’ve ever been here and it’s to find your dramatic ass.” he said.

you raised your eyebrows, surprised. “you’ve never been here? really?” you asked. ohyul simply stared at you, growing annoyed.

you slowly lowered your gaze. “i know a good restaurant. and it’s cheap.” you muttered awkwardly.

ohyul shook his head, closing his eyes, visibly irritated. “couldn’t you have said that earlier?”

when he got no response, he scoffed. “just lead the way.” he gently shoved your shoulder from the back.

you glared at him, before continuing your walk. about ten minutes later, you both made it to the restaurant. the small bell above the entrance jingled softly as you pushed the door open.

the comforting smell of warm broth and freshly cooked food immediately wrapped around you, bringing back memories you hadn’t wanted to think about today. the restaurant wasn’t anything special to most people. the furniture was old, the walls were covered with faded photographs and handwritten notes from regular customers, and the ceiling lights flickered every now and then.

to you, though, it had always felt like home.

ohyul stepped inside behind you before slowly looking around the room. “…place looks haunted,” he muttered.

you didn’t even bother acknowledging the comment. instead, you automatically walked toward the table tucked beside the window, the same one you always sat at whenever you came here with jihye after training. your feet found it without you even thinking, muscle memory carrying you through the restaurant while your heart quietly tightened.

only after pulling your chair out did you realize why it felt so strange. jihye wasn’t sitting across from you, ohyul was.

he casually dropped into the chair opposite yours, setting his backpack beside his feet before glancing around again with the same mildly unimpressed expression.

before either of you could say anything else, a familiar voice called your name. “y/n!”

your head immediately lifted. the elderly owner hurried over from behind the counter with the same warm smile she had worn every single time you’d visited over the past few years.

your own expression brightened almost instantly. “miss choi!” you greeted, standing halfway from your chair without even realizing it.

she laughed softly before gently patting your shoulder. “oh, y/n,” she smiled. “it’s been so long since i’ve seen you.”

for just a second, your problems seemed smaller. it was impossible not to smile around her.

ohyul quietly watched the interaction from across the table, one eyebrow slowly raising. only minutes ago, you had been crying so hard your entire body had been shaking. now you were smiling so naturally that it almost looked like none of that had happened.

miss choi’s eyes wandered toward him. she paused, before she slowly looked back at you with an amused smile spreading across her face. “no jihye today?”

your smile faltered ever so slightly. before you had the chance to answer, miss choi leaned in just a little closer. “is this your boyfriend?” the teasing tone made it obvious she was joking.

your smile disappeared almost immediately. across the table, ohyul physically recoiled. his entire face twisted into one of pure disgust before he dramatically rolled his eyes.

“no,” you answered a little too quickly, forcing the words out despite the lump growing in your throat. “that’s just… a group member.”

the words felt unfamiliar. group member. not another trainee, not someone from another practice room.

just group member. it still sounded wrong.

miss choi seemed to notice the slight hesitation in your voice, but she didn’t comment on it. instead, she simply nodded with a knowing smile. “ah.” she reached for the small notepad tucked into her apron pocket.

“then what are my two regulars… well, one regular and one newcomer having today?”

ohyul awkwardly cleared his throat. “…uh…” he glanced toward the menu hanging behind the counter before looking back at miss choi.

“do you have jajangmyeon?”

you slowly turned your head toward him. miss choi blinked once, looking genuinely puzzled. “well…”

she let out a small laugh. “of course we do.” she tilted her head. “why wouldn’t we have jajangmyeon?”

ohyul’s ears immediately turned red. “…right.” he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck before lowering his head in embarrassment. “stupid question.”

you couldn’t stop the small shake of your head. despite everything that had happened today, watching him accidentally embarrass himself over something so simple almost distracted you from your own thoughts.

miss choi chuckled warmly before turning back toward you. “and you, y/n?” she smiled. “the usual?”

you slowly shook your head. “no thanks, miss choi.” your voice came out much quieter than before. “i’m not hungry.”

miss choi didn’t write anything down. instead, she simply looked at you for a few long seconds, her gentle smile softening.

she had known you long enough to know that you never came here without ordering the same meal. especially not after training. she didn’t ask what was wrong.

she simply gave you one last nod before quietly closing her notepad. “i’ll be right back with your friend’s food.”

you offered the smallest smile you could manage. “thank you.”

she walked back toward the kitchen without another word.

ohyul rested his elbows on the table before looking at you for a moment. “you always come here with her?” he asked.

you stared down at the wooden tabletop. “…yeah.” your answer barely rose above a whisper.

soon enough, miss choi came back from the kitchen carrying two steaming bowls. you immediately looked up from your phone when she carefully placed one in front of ohyul before setting another identical bowl directly in front of you. your eyes widened as you stared down at the jajangmyeon, the familiar smell instantly making your mouth water despite insisting you weren’t hungry just minutes ago. you quickly placed your phone down on the table and looked up at her. “miss choi, come on, we can’t afford…” you tried protesting, but she immediately waved you off before you could even finish.

“it’s on the house,” she said with a smile, giving you a playful wink before glancing between the two of you. “just enjoy your food.” before you could argue further, she walked away toward the kitchen again, leaving you sitting there with your shoulders slumped. you knew she wasn’t exactly wealthy. she had always been too kind for her own good, and that only made the guilt sit heavier in your chest.

the two of you sat in awkward silence for several minutes. the only sounds were the quiet chatter of the other customers and ohyul aggressively attacking his food the second he picked up his chopsticks. “nice lady,” he said while nodding toward the counter before immediately shoving a massive mouthful of noodles into his mouth. you physically grimaced at the sight, your eyebrows furrowing in disgust. there was genuinely something wrong with the way he ate. you slowly picked up your chopsticks, finally deciding to take your first bite of real food after everything that had happened today, but before the noodles could even reach your mouth, ohyul started talking again with his cheeks still full.

“i like you, you’re cool,” he said casually, still chewing. “when you move in with me and ryul, things might be hard for you because you’re, y’know, a girl. i’ll try defending you, but he even scares me, so i don’t really know how i’ll help exactly.”

you slowly lowered your chopsticks and stared at him in disbelief. after everything you had said back at the beach, after everything he had already told you about ryul, he was still acting like the guy was some unstoppable force of nature. you let out a scoff before placing your chopsticks back onto the table with more force than necessary. “is ryul a fucking god or something?” you snapped. “he’s a human being, no? a trainee?” ohyul slowly chewed while staring at you with absolutely no urgency whatsoever. “and he’s younger than you,” you continued, pointing directly at him. “that’s actually embarrassing. i’m not gonna let anyone treat me like shit because i’m a girl. i don’t give a fuck if it’s ryul or jay park himself.”

ohyul stared at you for a few moments before a smile slowly appeared on his face. “hey,” he said. “i’m glad you’re the one dpn chose to be in my group.” you immediately looked at him with annoyance written all over your face. that was his response? that was all he got from what you had just said? you were beginning to think he simply existed on a completely different wavelength than everyone else.

“you’re gonna have your own room when we move in, by the way,” he casually added before taking another bite. “y’know, privacy and stuff because you’re a girl.”

your eyes widened instantly.

“wait, seriously?” you asked, sitting up straighter. “like actually? my own room?” you could feel a genuine grin spreading across your face for the first time all day. ohyul looked up from his food and immediately frowned. “you don’t need to rub it in,” he complained. you glared at him while still smiling, and he glared right back before returning to his noodles.

“oh, and you’re gonna need to start school this year too,” he added. “you and the one with the big lips.”

the excitement vanished immediately. “woojin?” you asked quietly.

ohyul nodded. “yeah.”

your shoulders slowly dropped again. “school? but we’re trainees though.” your voice sounded noticeably smaller now. everything already felt overwhelming enough. adding school on top of everything else sounded exhausting.

“it’s okay,” ohyul shrugged. “ryul will be there too. i chose not to go, though, so don’t miss my pretty face too much.”

you stared at him for a moment before rolling your eyes. “is that supposed to be a threat?” you asked dryly. ohyul only smiled at you in response, which somehow felt even more threatening than an actual answer.

by the time both of you had nearly finished eating, ohyul suddenly stood up from his seat and threw his backpack over his shoulder. “i’m done,” he announced. “you’re finished too, let’s go.” he immediately started walking toward the door as if the concept of paying simply didn’t exist. you stared at him in disbelief before quickly standing up and grabbing his backpack, yanking him backward.

“hey!” he shouted in protest.

“you need to pay, idiot,” you said while glaring at him.

“but she said it was on the house.”

you ignored him completely.

while he continued groaning dramatically, you shoved your hands into his pockets and pulled out every remaining bill and coin he had left. he looked genuinely horrified as you walked back to the table and placed all of his money beside the empty bowls. “that’s literally all i had left,” he complained while following you toward the exit.

“i don’t care,” you replied as you pushed the restaurant door open. “she needs the money, dude. don’t be an ass.” you shook your head in annoyance before stepping outside, leaving ohyul standing there with empty pockets and the most offended expression you had ever seen on his face.

the walk back somehow felt even longer than the walk there. maybe it was because your legs were already sore from wandering around the city for hours, or maybe it was because ohyul had apparently decided that complaining every thirty seconds was the only way to survive the journey.

“my feet hurt.”

you ignored him.

“why is your favorite restaurant so far away?”

you kept walking.

“i could’ve eaten three bowls of ramen by the time we got back.”

you didn’t even look at him.

“are we there yet?”

you let out a quiet sigh, rubbing your temples before continuing down the sidewalk without acknowledging a single one of his complaints. eventually, he seemed to realize you weren’t going to entertain him, mumbling something under his breath before falling into silence for the first time since leaving the restaurant.

without his constant talking filling the air, your thoughts immediately drifted back to the dorm.

in two days, you were supposed to pack your things and move into your new dorm with ohyul and ryul.

two days. the number made your stomach twist.

you hadn’t even gone back to the current dorm yet, and you already dreaded it. after everything that had happened this morning, after the argument that everyone had overheard, you couldn’t imagine walking through that front door and pretending everything was normal. you didn’t know how you were supposed to look jihye in the eyes, and you were even less sure she wanted to look at you either.

by the time the two of you finally made it back to your dorm building, the sun had long disappeared beneath the skyline and the streets had grown quiet, illuminated only by the soft glow of the streetlights lining the sidewalks. the entire day had slipped away without either of you noticing, and after hours of walking around the city, your legs felt sore enough that climbing the stairs to your apartment suddenly seemed impossible. as soon as ohyul reached the entrance, he let out an exaggerated groan before dramatically throwing himself onto the pavement, spreading his arms and legs out in a starfish position while staring up at the moon like he had just survived some impossible journey.

you glanced down at him with an unimpressed scoff before looking back toward the apartment entrance, your confidence disappearing almost instantly. your teeth nervously caught your bottom lip as you stood completely still, unable to bring yourself to walk inside knowing exactly what was waiting for you upstairs. without even bothering to sit up, ohyul lazily looked at the sky and spoke as if he could already read your mind. “just go. she’s not gonna kill you. you’re just gonna get ignored.” you clenched your jaw so tightly it almost hurt because, as much as you hated admitting it, he was probably right.

“fuck,” ohyul groaned dramatically, finally sitting up and rubbing his face. “now i have to walk all the way back to my dorm. why did i even walk you back?” you kept your eyes fixed on the entrance as you quietly answered, “you said i might have another breakdown and run away again.” he paused for a second before letting out a quiet laugh, nodding to himself as if he had only just remembered saying that. “right,” he mumbled before stretching his arms above his head and holding one hand out toward you. “alright, pull me up, and i’m off.”

you stared at the hand he was offering before slowly lifting your eyes back toward the entrance of the building, completely frozen all over again. after waiting several seconds for you to move, ohyul let out another long sigh before getting up by himself, dusting off the back of his hoodie while muttering something under his breath. he stepped behind you without warning and gently shoved you forward, causing you to stumble a single step toward the door. “just go, bro,” he said while rolling his eyes. “you’ve been standing here forever.” before you could respond, he had already turned around and started walking away with his hands shoved into his pockets.

you quietly watched him disappear down the street until he became smaller beneath the streetlights, and for the briefest moment you caught yourself wishing you were moving into the dorm with him and ryul instead of walking into the one waiting for you now. the thought made you feel guilty almost immediately, so you pushed it aside before taking a slow breath and finally forcing yourself inside the building. even then, you deliberately avoided the elevator and headed for the stairs instead, simply because taking the elevator would’ve brought you to your floor too quickly, and you desperately wanted just a few more minutes before having to face everyone again.

by the time you finally reached your floor, your heart was pounding so loudly it almost drowned out every other sound around you. you stood outside the apartment door for what felt like forever, unable to make yourself reach for the handle as countless worst case scenarios played through your mind. almost five full minutes passed before you finally gathered enough courage to slowly push the door open, making as little noise as possible in the hope that everyone had already gone to bed and you could quietly disappear into your room without anyone noticing.

the moment the door opened, you immediately realized that wasn’t going to happen. woojin, louis and minhee were all sitting in the living room as though they had been waiting there the entire evening, and all three of them turned toward the entrance the second they heard the door. your eyes instinctively searched the apartment for one more familiar face, but jihye was nowhere to be seen. before you even had time to process anything, minhee was already rushing toward you, throwing her arms tightly around your shoulders and hugging you so suddenly that you almost lost your balance.

“i’m so glad you’re okay,” she said in one breath, refusing to let go as she quickly pulled back just enough to look at your face. “you can’t disappear like that again, okay? where were you? were you with that ohyul guy? louis told him you might’ve gone to the beach. did he find you? was he rude? have you eaten?” the questions came so quickly that you couldn’t even begin answering one before another replaced it, and the concern written across her face only made you feel guiltier for worrying everyone all day.

woojin quietly stood up from the couch and walked over, gently placing a hand on minhee’s shoulder before giving it a small squeeze. “minhee, calm down. she’s okay,” he said softly, waiting until she finally looked over at him. “it’s late, you’ve been training all day, and you’re exhausted. go get some sleep. louis and i are gonna take care of her.” minhee hesitated, looking back and forth between you and woojin as though she didn’t want to leave you alone for even a second, but after another moment she finally nodded.

you offered her the smallest reassuring smile you could manage despite how drained you felt. “i’m okay, minhee. i promise.” she immediately pulled you into another tight hug, holding onto you for a few more seconds before finally letting go with a reluctant sigh. she quietly reminded you not to disappear like that ever again before slowly making her way toward the bedroom she shared with you and jihye, leaving you standing in the middle of the living room with louis and woojin, the silence that settled between the three of you somehow feeling heavier than any words could have.

neither louis nor woojin said anything straight away, almost like they understood that if they rushed you into talking, everything you had barely managed to hold together during the walk home would simply fall apart again. you stood awkwardly near the entrance with your shoes still on, your hands hanging uselessly at your sides while you stared down at the floor, suddenly feeling more exhausted than you had all day.

louis was the first one to move. he quietly walked over to the balcony doors and slid one open, immediately looking up toward the moon hanging above the city. he stayed there for a few moments with both hands resting in the pockets of his hoodie before glancing back over his shoulder at you. there wasn’t an ounce of disappointment or anger anywhere on his face. if anything, he simply looked relieved that you were standing in front of him again after disappearing without a word for an entire day. “talk outside?” he asked softly. you looked at him for a moment before giving the smallest nod you could manage.

while you and louis stepped out onto the balcony, woojin quietly disappeared into the living room for a moment before returning with the thick blanket the three of you always ended up sharing whenever you stayed outside too late. you and louis had already lowered yourselves onto the cold floor by then, sitting shoulder to shoulder with your knees pulled against your chests as the chilly night air made you both shiver. neither of you complained about the cold. compared to everything else weighing on your chest, it barely registered anymore. a few seconds later, woojin stepped outside, gently draping the blanket across your shoulders first before sitting down on your other side and pulling the remaining half over himself.

for a long while, none of you spoke. the three of you simply sat there beneath the same blanket, your shoulders brushing together while you silently watched the moon hanging above the rooftops. it looked exactly the same as it had the night before when you had cried yourself to sleep in louis’ bed, yet somehow everything underneath it had changed. the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. it was the kind shared between people who cared enough to simply stay beside you without demanding that you explain yourself before you were ready.

eventually, woojin let out a quiet sigh before breaking the silence. “y/n…” he began carefully, choosing every word with obvious caution. “we’re not mad at you. not even a little. none of us think you did anything wrong today. honestly…” he hesitated, briefly glancing toward louis before looking back at the moon. “everyone told jihye she was way too harsh. even dpn told her she crossed a line after he forced her to explain what happened. we just wish you had—”

his sentence never reached the end. halfway through speaking, he turned his head toward you, only to completely stop when he noticed the tears silently rolling down your cheeks.

you hadn’t even realized you were crying.

after everything that had happened today, after crying outside the practice room, after crying on the beach until you couldn’t breathe anymore, after somehow laughing at ohyul’s stupid comments over dinner, you genuinely thought there weren’t any tears left inside you.

apparently, you had been wrong. your breathing suddenly hitched. then another tear fell, then another.

before you even had the chance to wipe them away, your chest caved in on itself as another broken sob escaped your lips, louder than the last, the sound so painfully raw that it made both boys react without thinking.

within seconds, arms wrapped around you from both sides.

louis leaned against you first, one arm securely around your shoulders while gently resting his cheek against the side of your head. at almost the exact same moment, woojin pulled you into him from your other side, his hand rubbing slow circles against your back as though he was terrified that if he stopped moving for even a second, you would completely shatter.

you didn’t even hesitate. you threw your arms around both of their waists, burying your face against their shoulders as every emotion you had been carrying finally spilled out all over again. your sobs came so violently that your entire body shook between them, each breath breaking into another painful hiccup while your fingers desperately clung to the backs of their hoodies like they were the only things keeping you from falling apart completely.

you couldn’t remember the last time you had cried like this.

you had cried during evaluations, after injuries, when training became too exhausting. but this felt completely different. kt wasn’t frustration or stress. it felt like mourning someone who was still alive.

“i…” you tried speaking, but another sob immediately interrupted you before you could finish. you squeezed your eyes shut, trying again through shaky breaths that barely sounded like words anymore. “i don’t know why…” another hiccup cut you off. “i don’t know why she would speak to me like that.”

your voice cracked so badly that it almost disappeared. “it’s not my fault.” another sob escaped before you could continue. “it’s not my fault i’m debuting before her.”

your grip around them tightened. “i didn’t choose this.” you buried your face even deeper against louis’ shoulder, your tears soaking straight through the fabric of his hoodie as the words you’d been holding inside finally came pouring out.

“i would’ve given it to her if i could.” your shoulders shook uncontrollably. “i would’ve walked away if it meant she got to debut instead.” another broken breath escaped your lips. “i never wanted to take anything away from her.”

the balcony fell completely silent except for your crying. woojin’s own eyes had begun to sting, his jaw clenched tightly as he continued rubbing your back without saying a word.

louis quietly closed his eyes, resting his cheek against your hair while holding you just a little tighter, both of them wishing there was something, anything, they could say that would take even a fraction of your pain away.

but there wasn’t.

so instead, they simply stayed there beneath the blanket with you, letting you cry as much as you needed, refusing to let go no matter how long it took.

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