when i look at you
in which loki laufeyson takes his brother’s advice: be brave
PAIRING: loki laufeyson x fem!reader, platonic!thor odinson x reader
WARNINGS: fluff, jealousy, hurt/comfort, Thor interrupting, slight angst ig, FLUFF ENDING!!
WORD COUNT: 4.1k
🎶 : i hear a symphony - cody fry
AN: 🩵💗💛 - imagine loki's looks are like 'the dark world' era!! eeeeeek i loved writing this so so much!! enjoy!!
“I still don’t understand how you convinced Odin to release you.” You called over your shoulder. “Your attack on Earth was but a month ago.”
“I assume my mother had something to do with it. Odin himself seemed rather set on allowing me to rot.”
“I’m sure he loves you…” You muttered under your breath so his ravens would not catch you. “In his own demented way.”
Loki laughed, really laughed for the first time since his return. “He has allowed me to be released under the condition that I could not leave the castle grounds.”
“Oh?” You raised an eyebrow, gesturing to the woods around you. “And just what would you call this?”
“The Royal Wood, which is an extension of the grounds,” Loki smirked. “I would never break my vow to my father.”
You scoffed, your hands resting on your hips. “Do not lie to me, Loki Odinson. If you recall, we have a vow of our own.”
“How could I forget?” You were children when you made him swear to never trick you. He had held strong, for the most part. “You are possibly the only person I would never lie to. Well…” He leaned against a tree, leaning his head back to take in the summer sun. “You and my mother.”
“If you say so.” You hated when he did this, when he made you feel special. It was horrible, the worst trick of all, mainly because he had no idea what he was doing to you. “I have to bring your mother these ingredients.”
“Allow me to accompany you.”
Your cheeks felt hot, and you shook your head, flustered yet again by his chivalrous behavior. “That’s not necessary.”
“I insist.” He took the basket out of your arms, beckoning you to follow after him. “My mother would have my head if she saw a lady carrying such a load, let alone her favorite lady.”
“Loki.” You scolded, reaching out to take the basket back. “I am not a lady.”
“This again.” He sighed. “You are quite stubborn.”
“You’re one to talk.” You laughed, cowering under the judgmental looks of the nobility you passed.
“Must you deny me this one kind act?”
“It is not proper-”
“You must be the only servant who complains when someone helps you.”
“I take pride in my work, Loki.”
“An admirable quality.” The guards in front of his mother’s suite bowed their heads, opening the doors. “Still, you are stubborn.”
“Loki-” You scowled, curtsying before the queen. “Your Majesty, the ingredients you requested.”
“Thank you, my dear.”
Frigga was the very picture of elegance. Not only was she elegant, but she was also kind to everyone regardless of rank. You had no issue carrying out trivial tasks for the queen, because the queen never treated you as lesser than; she treated you as she would treat her own sons. “Did you have any trouble?”
“Not at all, my lady.”
“Mother.” Loki approached the golden-haired woman, kissing her cheek. “Tell your lady she must not bow when she greets you.”
“Loki!” You gasped, turning to Frigga like you had been the one to say it. “My lady, I would never-”
“Must you tease the girl so?” Frigga chastised her son.
“I am so sorry, my lady.”
“Do not apologize, my son is a prankster, as we all know.” She smiled warmly, tucking a strand of hair behind Loki’s ear. “Among many other admirable qualities.”
Loki grew shy under his mother’s affection, brushing off her compliments. “We must be going.”
“Oh?” You raised an eyebrow.
“You wished to visit the library, yes?”
“I never-” You tilted your head. “Have you developed mind-reading powers as well?”
He shrugged, kissing his mother’s cheek once more before extending his hand. “Shall we?”
You smacked his hand away, walking out of the queen’s room with Loki trailing behind you. “If you can read minds now, please refrain from reading mine.” He laughed, and you smacked his arm. “I mean it, Loki.”
“I cannot read minds. Remember that we have been friends for quite some time now. I know you perhaps better than I know myself.”
“Well, no wonder. You are such a mystery.” You teased. “The rakish, brooding prince. I am surprised some lady has not taken you into her clutches.”
“You think me rakish?” He raised an eyebrow, holding the library door open.
“One observes things.” You shrugged, gliding over to the fiction section, grabbing the first book that caught your eye. “It is not a bad trait, I assure you.”
“If you say so.” He looked rather disappointed, plopping into his favorite leather chair.
“You are also kind, considerate, even. Loyal to a fault.” Your hand found his, squeezing it. “You are many things, but most of all, you are a wonderful friend.”
“Friend.” He huffed, face scrunched like the word left a bad taste in his mouth.
“Are we not friends?” You sat back, hand pulling away from his. Oh, how you wished you could stay like that forever, his forever-cold hand intertwined with yours.
“Yes, we are.” He almost sounded disappointed. You decided not to dwell on it, immersing yourself in the novel. Loki simply stared, admiring your beauty, the way your eyes scanned the page, the way you smiled to yourself, the way your eyebrows furrowed.
“You wear your heart on your sleeve.” He murmured.
Your eyes did not leave the page. “Oh?”
“It is quite-” He stopped himself. “It is quite humorous.”
“If it is so amusing, then by all means, keep staring.” You teased. You were used to this, the staring, the intense gaze Loki held. He loved to watch people, to observe those around him. At first, you had found it quite overwhelming, especially when you looked up to find him already staring at you. His eyes were beautiful, dangerous as they pulled you in. You shook your head, fighting against your imagination.
“My prince.” You looked up, fighting the urge to groan as the nuisance that was the Lady Ness approached. “I thought I would find you here.”
Loki looked entirely unenthused, but still entertained the woman. “Hello, my lady.”
The Lady Ness was the eldest daughter of one of Odin’s closest advisors. She was what Asgardians considered to be the perfect beauty, with blonde hair bordering on white, and beautiful pale blue eyes. She was tall, the very picture of royalty.
Which is what she desperately wanted to be. She had followed the two princes around since you were children, treating them as if they were idols, gods even.
They were, but still. It became tiresome.
She had her sights set on Thor for eons, but after she learned of his undying love for the Lady Jane, she gave up, switching her sights to Loki.
There was nothing the younger prince hated more than being the second choice.
There was nothing you hated more than the Lady Ness suddenly finding interest in a man you’d loved since age five. You did not attempt to acknowledge the woman, simply looking back down at your book. It was hard to focus, though, with her constant chattering.
“Will I see you at the Summer Solstice Ball, my prince?”
Loki’s gaze fell back to you before responding. “You will indeed.”
“How wonderful. I do love dancing.” You fought the urge to roll your eyes. “Do you enjoy dancing, my prince?”
“With the right lady.” He nodded. “I do.”
“Shall I reserve a place for you on my card?” Your hold on the book tightened. “It would be an immense honor.” A scoff fell from your lips, and your eyes widened. You had meant for that to be in your head.
Loki smiled. “I’m afraid I-”
“Is something the matter?” The Lady Ness interrupted, staring at you. “Have I done something to amuse you?”
You looked up, shaking your head. “No, my lady.”
“Now you remember your manners.” The Lady Ness raised an eyebrow. You simply stared back, your face blank. “When I entered the room, you did not curtsy. Are you manners selective?”
You shut your book, standing up. “You seem rather concerned with my manners. How observant you must be.” The lady proudly nodded. “Allow me to explain, I bow to royalty.” You gestured to Loki before gesturing to her. “Not some common lady with an aptitude for mistreating servants.”
“Why I-” She gasped, stumbling over her words. You made a point to be over the top in your curtsy to the prince, before promptly walking out of the room.
You angrily picked bunches of moss from the forest floor, ripping it from the ground as if it had wronged you.
The Lady Ness annoyed you to no end, with her flirting and her flowy gowns and her touching Loki's arm. It was as if she did it on purpose, as if she amplified her flirting when you were there, like she was trying to tell you he was hers, that you could never have him.
You already knew that, no thanks to her. It was something that kept you up into the late hours of the night, the ‘what-ifs’ haunting you even in sleep.
If you were of some higher standing, you would have smacked her long ago. Unfortunately, you could only verbally attack her.
“Are you quite well?” Loki’s voice broke you from your thoughts. “You did not stop when I called after you yesterday.”
“I cannot stand her.” You complained. “She-she is without a doubt-”
He looked rather amused at your ranting, hands clasped behind his back, his ever-familiar smirk gracing his lips. “I am sorry.”
“Why should you be sorry?” You laughed bitterly. “I’m sure she will mellow with age.”
“Mellow with age?” He raised an eyebrow.
You nodded, going back to your gathering. “Odin must be rather pleased with this match.”
“Match?” It seemed as if Loki was stuck on repeat, parroting you with confusion etched in his tone.
“Between you and Lady Ness.” You grumbled, brushing the dirt off your skirt as you stood. “I’m certain he has arranged for her to be your lady wife.”
“I’m sorry?”
You walked further into the wood, Loki following after you. “She will be a great wife, I’m sure. She seems intelligent enough and could bring you company. Your children-” Your voice broke, and you felt your cheeks grow hot. “They will be menaces, but what child isn’t? I’m sure they will grow out of it, as she will grow out of her rather annoying attributes.” You pulled out your knife, cutting off a section of tree bark, your mind clouded with rage. “She will bring you happiness. I’m excited for you, truly-” You hissed, the knife falling out of your hand as you stared at the stream of blood that ran down your palm. “Ow.”
Loki raced over, taking your hand in his as he observed the wound. “You were being careless.”
“I was not.” Your eyes welled, the pain finally taking hold. “It is just a cut.”
“You are practically crying.” He frowned. “You must be careful.”
“I-” He waved his hand over your injury, the pain subsiding, the cut healing itself. You watched in fascination, the wound glowing green for a mere moment before dissapearing entirely. “How did you-”
“Growing up with Thor meant I had to be prepared for anything.” He smiled, his fingers gently tracing over the once bloody finger. “Does it hurt?”
You shook your head, voice quiet. “It’s like it never even existed.”
“Good.” He looked up, his breath shaky when he met your gaze. “You frightened me.”
“You worry too much.” You hadn’t meant to, truly, but your eyes fell to his lips, heart racing. “I’m sorry.”
His hand found its way to your waist, pulling you close. You gasped, glaring as a smirk grew on the prince’s lips. “Whatever for, my lady?”
“I didn’t mean to-” You swallowed. “I did not mean to insult the Lady-”
“Please, do not speak her name any longer.” He groaned. “She is as tiresome as she is wealthy.”
“She is to be your lady wife, is she not?” You murmured, his hand that had once cradled your injured hand now holding your cheek. “She is quite the match.”
He laughed. “I’m sure she will make some unlucky man rather miserable.”
“Loki-”
“If I have any say-” He whispered, his eyes dropping to your lips momentarily. “I will marry for love, not because my father made some strategic alliance. She is not for me, I assure you.”
“You-” Loki now had your back against the tree, practically pinning you in position. His forehead lay against yours, your breath entwined with his. “You have some other lucky lady in mind?”
He nodded. “I do.”
“Oh?” The reality of the situation hit you like Mjolnir hit its enemies. Hard and true, you accepted that you might just kiss the man you’d loved since before you could remember. “Do I know her?”
He nodded once more, his lips so close they brushed against yours as he spoke. “I believe so-”
“Brother!” Your eyes widened, and you pushed Loki away, cheeks hot as you forced yourself to look as inconspicuous as possible. Thor’s voice rang through the wood. “Brother, where are you?”
“I-” Loki stuttered, hand reaching out to hold you once more. “Just wait one moment-”
“Ah!” Thor’s golden hair came into view, the god haphazardly destroying the forest floor. “My lady, it is wonderful to see you!”
You curtsied, your heart and mind still racing from the moment before. “My prince. I was just leaving.” You couldn’t meet Loki’s eyes, simply nodding. “Loki.”
You raced toward the castle, forgetting your basket full of ingredients.
Loki would bring them to his mother later.
“Have I interrupted something?” Thor’s voice held a certain sort of mischeif that made Loki feel uneasy. “It seems as if I caught the pair of you in a rather intimate moment.”
“I-” Loki could not find the words, something that pleased Thor greatly.
“The great trickster is speechless?” He grinned, patting his little brother on the back. “Oh, Loki, why did you not say something?”
“Like you said. You interrupted.” He was practically glowering, glaring at his brother like it was his life’s purpose. “I-I had almost-”
“Do you want my advice, brother?” Loki continued to glare at him, fighting the urge to stab the golden-haired imbecile in the gut. “You must do something. Be brave, show her you care.”
“I was doing that!” Loki yelled. “You have the worst timing in the world-”
“Calm down, brother.” Thor laughed. “When I first met the Lady Jane-” Oh gods, Loki thought as he rolled his eyes. Once Thor began to talk about Jane, he tended to never stop. “She was rather intimidating, smart, and beautiful. But after I showed her my interest, my-”
Loki walked away, fists clenched tightly as Thor continued, following after him.
You hadn’t seen Loki in days.
You had gone to Frigga’s chambers after the incident, to apologize for leaving the ingredients behind, when you saw Loki just outside her door, the basket in hand.
After that, you’d gone out of your way to avoid him.
It was childish, you knew that, but you couldn’t look at him without transforming into a blabbering mess. You purposely did your chores outside of the castle grounds so he could not follow you or surprise you.
Your room was deep in the ground, chilly from its lack of sunlight and candles. You hadn’t minded before, but now that you were in your self-prescribed isolation, you couldn’t help but wish you had a prettier view.
Just when you thought you’d forgotten, that you’d gotten over your momentary lapse in judgment, it all came rushing back. His hand cradling your cheeks, his lips brushing against yours, his fingertips digging into your hip. A chill ran down your spine, and you shook your head as if that would rid you of the scandalous thoughts.
He was simply being kind, caring for you as you had cared for him.
A handmaiden walked into your room unannounced, gently placing a large box on your simple vanity. You jumped when you saw her. “I did not see you.”
The handmaiden, one of Frigga’s, no doubt, smiled kindly. “I gathered. I was tasked with ensuring you received this package, and was told you must wear it to the Summer Solstice Ball.”
“Wear it?” You tilted your head, rising from your bed to inspect the gift. “Is it a gown?”
“It is indeed, my lady.”
So this had been Loki’s doing.
“You must not call me that.” You smiled. “I am no lady.”
The handmaiden shrugged, glancing over your shoulder curiously as you pulled apart the forest green ribbon that held together the wrappings. “It seems to me that you shall be soon.”
“What-” You choked, shaking your head vehemently. “I- that is-”
“I will take my leave.” She bowed quickly, shutting the door behind her. You cursed the god of Mischief, vowing that when you were done ignoring him, you would scold him for his antics. The wrappings fell away, your eyes welling as you stared at the gown.
After all these years, all this time, he never forgot a single thing you told him, and this gown was proof. It was exactly what you’d described to him two thousand years ago.
You’d been young then, much more naive than now. You and Loki were lounging in the gardens, watching the nobility walk by in their dreamy attire. You sighed, staring down at your robes in embarrassment. “Could you conjure me something?”
“I can try.” Loki nodded, placing his book down beside him. “What is it you wish for?”
“A nicer dress.” You were jealous of their beauty, your simple frock nothing compared to their silky pastel gowns.
“I-” He frowned. “I am sorry. My powers are not-”
You shook your head. “Forget I said anything.”
He nodded, watching you with interest. “What would it look like, your dream gown?”
It would look like this. The gown that he’d sent you, which now hung delicately in your closet, two thousand years later.
You could hear the roar of the partygoers from the end of the hall, your nerves growing more and more the closer you got. You thanked the gods that this was not the kind of ball where attendees were announced, as you would surely faint from the judgmental eyes that fell on you.
The ballroom glowed bright golden, the light the candles provided reflecting off the pure gold walls. Your jaw hung loose, taking in the decorations, the people, the fashion. Your eyes fell to the bottom of the stairs, cheeks growing hot when you met Loki’s gaze.
He was standing by the Lady Ness, who looked livid that you had torn his attention from her.
You couldn’t find it in you to care, not when he was looking at you like that. His smile was bright, and he looked devilishly handsome in his forest green attire, walking up the steps.
You took a deep breath, meeting him in the middle. “My prince.”
“You’ve been avoiding me.” He spoke plainly, as if it were fact. Technically, it was.
“I-”
“Do not try and deny it.” He offered his arm. “Shall we?”
You gladly complied with his request, cheeks growing hot, from the attention or Loki’s gaze, you couldn’t tell. Perhaps it was both. “You remembered.” You looked over, finding satisfaction in the way your words had caused Loki to turn red. “I can’t believe you remembered.”
He shrugged like what he’d done wasn’t the most romantic thing you’d ever experienced. “Only the best for-”
“My prince.” You clenched your fist when Lady Ness’s grating voice met your ears, turning toward the enemy. “I lost you for a moment.”
Loki laughed. “Yes, you did.” His hand tightened, pulling you closer to his side as if to signal he was occupied. You had felt it was rather obvious, but Lady Ness had a history of feigning ignorance to blatantly obvious rejections.
“Shall we dance?” Lady Ness’s steely blue eyes darted toward you, as if she were trying to scare you off. You were not deterred by her weak attempt at intimidation, your hand still comfortably held in Loki’s. “You did promise me.”
He tilted his head. “Did I?”
You laughed, your hand falling to your side. “It is but one dance.” The Lady Ness let out a gasp that neither of you acknowledged. “I’m quite parched anyhow.”
He nodded. “As you wish.”
The Lady Ness looked entirely displeased at his actions, especially over the phrase ‘as you wish,’ which had been directed toward you, and not her request. You made your way to the drinks, taking a flute of champagne as you found your place in the corner of the room. Leaning against the column, you glared as Lady Ness cackled, downing the flute in one go.
Loki had not planned for this to happen.
He had planned for you to receive the dress, to escort you down the steps. He had also planned to confess his undying love for you, but Lady Ness once again interrupted.
She had the most inconvenient timing.
He led her to the middle of the dance floor, putting as much distance as possible. The Lady Ness kept laughing, which he found odd, as he had not said a single thing since the dance had begun. He kept looking around the edge of the room, searching for your familiar frame.
Ah.
You looked radiant. Positively glowing. He’d always loved you in that color. If he was being honest with himself, he loved you in every color. He frowned, watching as you chewed your nails, something you had the habit of doing when you were anxious.
“My prince?” The Lady Ness called out as he walked away from her in the middle of the dance floor, stalking toward you, the crowd parting as he walked.
“Dance with me.”
You jumped, clutching your heart. “Gods, Loki, you scared me.” You guiltily looked at your fingers before meeting his gaze. “I-”
He waved his hand, all the rips you’d made in your delicate skin gone in an instant. “Dance with me.”
“Loki.” You looked over his shoulder, eyes widening at the sobbing lady he’d left in the middle of the floor. “Have you gone mad?”
“Possibly.”
“You cannot just leave her in the middle of the floor.” You leaned closer, whispering so the many eavesdropping ears around you could not hear. “Even if she is quite annoying.”
“I am the prince. I can do as I wish.”
You rolled your eyes at his comment. “You-” It seemed he took your lack of rejection as a yes, holding your hand firmly in his as he pulled you to the middle of the dance floor, the light waltz playing in the background. “You are the most indignant, prideful, scheming man I have ever known.”
He smiled, a squeak leaving your lips when he pulled you much closer than a waltz called for. “Tell me what else I am.”
“You-” You gulped, growing nervous under his ever attentive eye. “You are-”
“It seems you are at a loss for words.” He whispered in your ear, a chill running down your spine from the proximity of it all. “Is that a recent development, my lady?”
“You are arrogant.” You hissed.
He grinned. “I am.”
“You are marvelous.”
“I am.” His reaction was delayed, caught off guard by your sudden compliment.
“It seems you are at a loss for words.” You parroted his words from just a moment ago. “Is that a recent development, my prince?”
“You are a wonder.” He held your gaze so beautifully that any innocent bystander would assume you were both deeply in love. “You look divine, a goddess in your own right.”
“Loki.” You felt as if you could melt, the music slowing to a stop before you could respond. The crowd around you clapped wildly, obviously invested in the show you two had put on.
Loki bowed, his brother catching his gaze. Thor was practically jumping, mouthing the words he had said days before.
Be brave.
It was so unfortunate when his brother was right. You stood upright, following Loki’s gaze to see Thor grinning like a buffoon. “What is he-”
Loki’s hands grabbed your face, pulling your lips to his. Your eyes widened at the action, weak from his touch. Your hands found their way around his neck, pulling him closer. He grinned, a hand falling to your hips, squeezing.
You gasped, your knees weakening. “Loki-”
“Is all that you can say my name?” He whispered, his forehead once again lying against yours.
“You are a-” He leaned down, kissing your lips once more.
“I love you…” His breath was heavy, pupils blown as he stared at you. “Most ardently.”
A tear fell down your cheek, and you grinned. “Most ardently?”
He nodded, voice wavering. “I assume you love me as well?”
“I do.” You kissed the corner of his mouth softly, so softly he had barely felt it. “With my whole being."
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