Chapters: 10/?
Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Avengers Team Members & Loki (Marvel), Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki & Steve Rogers, Loki & Tony Stark, Loki & Natasha Romanov, Avengers Team Members & Thor (Marvel), Bruce Banner & Thor, Clint Barton & Thor, Clint Barton & Loki, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark, Bruce Banner & Clint Barton, Steve Rogers & Thor, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Characters: Loki (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Ravagers Members (Guardians of the Galaxy), Nick Fury, Heimdall (Marvel), Odin (Marvel), Frigga | Freyja (Marvel), Thanos (Marvel), Ebony Maw, The Other (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Vaughn Harkin (Marvel Cinematic Universe Ocs), Andromeda Cotati Ben Titan (Marvel Cinematic Universe Ocs), Proxima Midnight, Helain Lotir (Marvel Cinematic Universe Ocs)
Additional Tags: Loki-centric (Marvel), Loki Needs a Hug (Marvel), Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Yes to both, Canon Divergence - Movie: Avengers (2012), the-2012-party-was-the-best-party, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, I dunno man this started as a joke, Loki & Thor Bro Feels (Marvel), Whump, Kidnapping, Protective Avengers, Hurt Thor (Marvel), Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt everyone I suppose, Past Mind Control, Past Torture, Graphic Description, Unreliable Narrator, BAMF Loki (Marvel), Odin A+ Parenting, No Character Bashing because I love them all dearly, Except Odin, He sucks, Thanos Ebony Maw and The Other too, Correction then "No Character Bashing in the Main Cast", Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Hatred, Fantasy and Fictional Setting Racism, Food Issues, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Summary:
âKnock-knock, Point Break?â he heard Stark say after just a hint of silence, his voice not too loud. âYou with us?â
âHe is not here,â Thor stated, frustration coming through his tone. âNot anymore. He might have sensed us coming.â
âThe blood traces stop near the door.â the Spider asserted flatly after a few instants, provoking another short pause. Loki, at the exact words, told himself to cover his tracks better if something similar happened a second time, caught off guard or not.
âIf he is still bleeding like that, he might not be far.â
 Or, Loki left before the Avengers could arrest him. It changes a lot of things.
I wanted to write a little character study of Loki, and I also wanted to give a proper introduction to my own personal Marvel AU. This is both of those in one!
Word Count: 4,888
Known
There's something so intimate about being known. That feeling of having the darkest parts of one's soul be bared to another is both freeing and terrifying all at once. That sort of vulnerability is a rare jewel in most connections made. If it was easy to find, maybe the world would be better than it is now. But it's not. Trust such as that is hard to foster, and, thus, it's not seen often.
Loki knew that better than anybody.
Long before they were a Frost Giant stolen from their true home, Loki was still an outcast. Even as a child, they always seemed to be so separate from others. Being the younger sibling, they often found themselves hanging onto Thor and his friends more often than not. In this group, Loki was still the outcast. They were the butt of the joke, no matter the topic. Somehow, it always came back to insult thrown at the younger God for no good reason other than the ability to. Loki was not respected as a prince of Asgard in the same that Thor was. Somehow, even with the same title, Thor was always better than them. The worst part was that Loki loved their brother, adored him and idolized him through and through, but how could they ever compare to the child that had always been perfect without even trying?
As the pair grew, that love grew alongside Loki's resentment. They would never be good enough for Odin, and they would never be worth enough to warrant Frigga's proper protection. Yes, Loki's dear mother even contributed to their villainy in her way. Make no mistake, Loki loved Frigga more dearly than anybody else in the world, but even she had her faults.
Indulging, enabling Frigga. She had allowed Odin to go through with all of it. The lies, the betrayal, covering up Loki's true heritage. She had known that this child wasn't truly hers, and she never said a word. Perhaps she wasn't to blame for Loki's deflection, but she had to have some responsibility for Odin's lies, hadn't she?
Then again, she had known that Loki wasn't truly her own, and she loved them dearly anyway. That was where she and Odin differed, and perhaps that was why Loki pushed her guilt aside before. She had given him affection and care when Odin refused, and she had been good to the very end. She died not blameless but forgiven. At least, that's how Loki saw it. Perhaps Odin had deserved the same treatment, but Loki was unsure that they could ever forgive their adopted father for all he had done. They could allow themselves to love, care for, and grieve Odin, but they could not deign forgiveness. Not for him. Never for him.
So, a father who never cared to know them, and a mother who didn't dig deep enough to truly know the turmoil of her child's mind.
Then, there was Thor. Of course, Loki still held that small resentment towards their brother for him simply being the favorite, but the love for Thor had been there first, and it had staked its claim long before the hatred had even existed. Thor wasn't perfect, in the same way that Frigga wasn't, but he had never lost faith in them the way that everybody else did.
"Never forget how much I love you." Loki had said before the ceremony, and they had meant it. Their relationship with Thor had always been a volatile one, as sibling relationships often were, but there had always been love that nestled comfortably beside that annoyance. Love that made itself known in smiles that Thor cracked at one of Loki's pranks, in Loki's loving eye rolls when Thor nearly got himself killed doing stupid, in the way that Thor stood up to his friends for Loki's sake. Subtle, but it was there.
Even after New York, that love was still there. Loki knew they didn't deserve it. Sure, they had been mind controlled by Thanos, but they had still don't it. They had struck against the thing that Thor loved most in the Nine Realms â Midgard, Earth, humanity. They had taken lives that didn't deserve to be taken, they had hurt those who didn't deserve it, controlled those who shouldn't have been controlled. Loki knew they didn't deserve Frigga's visits to the dungeon, nor did they deserve Thor's visit and demand for revenge after she had been killed. They had deserved being shunned from her funeral. They weren't her child, not really, not in a way that mattered to anybody on Asgard.
So when Thor showed up and offered revenge, Loki was adrift in confusion and grief all at once. They had hurt Thor so fragrantly, and he still showed them infallible kindness and loyalty
It was unfair. Thor was supposed to hate them back. Why didn't he hate them back? Loki couldn't bear forgiveness. It was worse than being isolated from their big brother forever. Maybe that was why they faked their own death. Not for a throne, although that had been a happy accident, but so they could die doing one good thing and actually earn Thor's forgiveness. Because they knew that their awful guilt couldn't purify them for what they had done.
And, Norns, were they guilty. The screams of innocents were the ghosts to haunt their dreams at night. The feeling of that man squirming beneath them while they took his eye would forever writhe against their skin. The pleads of their big brother calling out to a less broken version of themselves would leave a mark on their very soul that they couldn't erase.
Because they weren't Thor's little brother anymore, not really. What Thanos had done to them had changed that wide-eyed little boy into a scarred and guarded man. A child who merely wanted to protect Asgard from harm had become the tortured soul that only wreaked havoc on others' worlds for the soul reason that they could. All of it happened simply because they had been thrown off of the Bifrost.
Although, Loki couldn't remember properly if they really had been thrown or if they had simply let go. The torture they had been through did not aid their already ailing memory. Everything before the battle of New York was a fuzzy blur. The fragments of memory being the tolls of the trauma they had gone through at the hands of Thanos. Loki had been found and kidnapped by Thanos and his children. Their power and abilities had earned them a nice cell on the ship, left alone for days while they begged for somebody to come looking for them. They went over the list each day of their captivity, whispering each name like a fervent prayer.
Each day, their pleading became more desperate. Less of a prayer now and more of a whining plead for someone they loved to come and find them. And each day they spent without help was another day that a piece of their hope was lost. Locked away on a ship in space, nobody could hear the Odinchild's cries for someone to help them. The days became weeks, and each moment blended together in an unrecognizable blur. Loki had been left without anything to keep track of time, and they felt as though they had begun to lose their mind. The only times they had proof of a day passing was on the rare occasions that somebody would feed them. After every meal of scraps, their mind melted back into begging for their family to rescue them.
Three weeks in is when the actual torture began. Torture that Loki's barely developed mind, at the time, couldn't comprehend to its full extent. They had died. Multiple times. But Thanos' abilities made it so Loki would come back each time, letting the poor god suffer a new death worse than the one before. The sort of suffering that a mortal man would've crumbled under within days. Loki, however, prided themselves on their resilience. They refused to break, they wouldn't break from this. They wouldn't lie down like a dog and let themselves fall apart.
Their body being set ablaze, his limbs being torn off tendon by tendon, being shoved below water until their breath ran out, having their eyes carved from their sockets, electroshock therapy until their life force fizzled out, starved, and dehydrated. If Thanos or his children could think it, Loki was forced through it, and they were brought back each time. One death per day, two if Loki dared to act up. All to convince Loki to do the awful deed of taking over Midgard, and the tortured creature just wanted their family. They wanted to be a child again, curled up in their mother's lap and allowed to relax. Cowering beneath Odin's gaze, but knowing that their life would always be allowed to continue. Running into their big brother's room after a nightmare, searching for a hug or reassurance that all was well, or cowering behind Thor's cape for protection.
Norns above, they just wanted their big brother to rescue them and take out the bad guys like he always had.
But nobody came. So Loki resisted as much as they could. They endured each horror, even getting to the point where certain tortures were repeated. Anything with fire or extreme heat seemed to be a favorite, and it affected Loki the worst considering his Frost Giant heritage. It got to a point where they were exposed to it daily, and even the safety of their cell was permeated with too much heat for them to handle. Still, Loki just begged for their family to come save them. Their family, Thor's friends, anyone who might have been listening.
Thor, Heimdall, Mother, Father. Thor, Heimdall, Mother, Father. Sif, Hogun, Volstagg, somebody, anybody at all. Someone. Someone. Someone.
Loki had finally snapped after about six months of this. At least, it had felt like six months. They were given no way to track time, so this was a modest assumption. They broke down, as they were dragged from their cell to the room where most of the torture had taken place. Their sobs were mocked by Thanos' children, and it made them resist even more. They begged to be spared another death, and that was how they had conceded to invade New York.
And that was why they couldn't stop when Thor had begged them to. They couldn't face dying again. Worse, if Thanos got a hold of Thor somehow, they couldn't bear the idea of their beloved brother being subjected to the same torture. They just couldn't. That was what fueled them whilst under the mind stone's influence. It only went away after being attacked by the Hulk. That brute, despite Loki truly not liking it, had saved them, and the Avengers did what they had planned for. They stopped the invasion. It was subconscious, but Loki manipulated it to be that way. Because a deep part of themselves knew that Thanos would be no match for this ragtag group of heroes. One way or another, Loki would be free of the Mad Titan because of their actions.
That was before, of course, their neck had been snapped by the very same person, and that was before the TVA. Yes, the TVA. Where the two versions of Loki, the one who died the way they had been destined to and the variant, collided together into the beautiful branches of the multiverse. It had been a gradual change, but it happened in the end. The Loki that sat and held the multiverse together wasn't just a variant. They were every Loki that had ever existed and will ever exist. They weren't from the Sacred Timeline nor were they from any insignificant branch. They simply were Loki. In their purest form.
Of course, they wouldn't have been any of that without Mobius. Oh, their Mobius. Their lovely, beautiful Mobius. Loki had originally dismissed him as a creature like all the rest. They found mockery in his words, even if none had ever been there, and they built up a wall to protect themselves from getting hurt again. They wouldn't have another Frigga, they wouldn't have another Thor. They didn't want anybody's infallible loyalty and love simply because they didn't deserve it.
Almost by accident, Mobius wormed his way into Loki's stone heart regardless of their protests against it. His cheesy dad jokes, gentle compassion and praise, the way he looked at them like they had hung the stars. All of it was enough for Loki to drop the pretenses and trust again. They let themselves be that goofy God of Mischief that they had been before Thanos' torture.
Mobius had been exactly right when he called them a scared, little boy because he had brought out that hopeful child that Loki had been so long ago. They were an anxious child that clung to Mobius simply because he represented the sturdy confidant that Loki hadn't had since Thor. They hid behind Mobius because Mobius was just like Thor in the way of their loyalty.
The love, though, that was where Thor and Mobius differed. Thor had shown love the way only a brother could. Quips and bickering and pranks that ended in playful fights. Mobius' love was softer, gentler. It came in fleeting touches and kind words despite a betrayal. Their fights were far more serious, but they ended in a stronger bond that refused to be broken by time itself. To a point that when Loki had hugged Mobius so tightly at the end of time, they had the fleeting thought of capturing his chapped lips in a sweet kiss.
Because Mobius knew them. Mobius understood them in a way nobody else ever had. He knew the most awful parts of their history, and he loved them anyway. He loved them despite all they had been through and all they done, just like Thor had, and it cracked their shell.
Then, there was Sylvie. Norns, had that been a complicated relationship. When they first met, she had a fire that Loki had forgotten they had ever possessed. She was ruthless, and she was indestructible. Hell, Loki wondered if she would've been better at surviving the torture they had been through. She was strong yet graceful all at once. Perfect in ways that Loki could only envy. They had to wonder how such a perfect copy of them could be so messed up, but they understood when she finally explained it.
That moment on Lamentis had been one of pure weakness. They hadn't felt cornered like this before, so when they saw their death laid out in front of them, they broke. Although they didn't know it at the time, the Nexus event hadn't been them falling in love with Sylvie at all. No, it had been their acceptance of their own demise. Sylvie, too, of course. A Loki wasn't meant to give up. They were the cockroaches of every existing Asgard, refusing to die whenever somebody laid waste to them. The kiss they shared with Sylvie afterward proved that fully. They didn't love her, not in any sort of romantic way, but they did care for her. She was the first friend they had in a long time; they just couldn't tell the difference from romance and friendship.
And as their time in the TVA came to end, Loki knew well what friendship was. They knew that losing their friends in the TVA hurt, and it was enough to make the sacrifice a free life to save everyone. It was horribly cheesy, but the power of friendship had somehow been the thing to save the multiverse. And Loki knew it, as they stepped up to be the protector of all time. They could be the one to watch, even if it meant a life away from their friends, their brother, their Mobius. They would give up their very soul to keep their loved ones safe.
As time passed, Loki realized a few things about their newfound power. For one, their illusion projection and duplication casting still worked. From there, Loki began projecting themselves in the timeline their original self, the one who died at Thanos's hand, had come from. The timeline where their brother was, where their friends had gone to live their lives, and where their Mobius had gone back to be with his children.
They visited Thor first, and they met his new child, Love. Loki adored her, and she had taken to calling them Uncle Loki rather quickly. Thor was overjoyed at Loki's return, and he made them swear to visit as often as possible. They agreed, of course, and the rest of the afternoon was spent with a tour of New Asgard, a party, a lot of drinking, and a drunk pair of siblings passing out in Thor's living room.
Next was Sylvie. She had settled herself back into a comfortable fast food job. Loki was thrilled for her, and the two had a heart-to-heart about the happenings of the TVA. For the first time, Loki allowed themselves to forgive, and Sylvie as well. Neither of them had friends before now, and they were both unwilling to let go. Just an easy friendship, doing normal things like getting wine drunk and gossiping. Normal things.
Then, Loki finally saw Mobius again. They hadn't seen him cry before this, but he wailed like a baby at the sight of his Loki standing at his front door. The hug they shared was long, their first kiss even longer. They didn't establish anything officially, but they really didn't need to. Loki knew that Mobius and them had always been together in some capacity. It was the same now, just involving more kissing, cuddling, and sex.
After a month of this, Thor had started to insist upon Loki being reintroduced to the Avengers. They weren't sure why he was so insistent upon it. Loki had all they needed in life. A loving husband and two wonderful children, friends like Sylvie and B-15 that they hung out with on a regular basis, and they had their brother back. They didn't need the complications of the Avengers to be thrown into the mix.
Still, they somehow ended up attending a party of Tony Stark's. Yes, somehow he had survived the Infinity Gauntlet and was alive and well, throwing lavish parties where the Avengers all gathered with their friends. The tower didn't exist anymore, but they had a new facility â the Avengers Compound. Loki had received a bare minimum tour from their brother, but they could tell that the facility was nice, almost better than the lavish tower and penthouse.
Despite their fears, the party with their presence went better than they expected. They were waiting to be thrown out or cast away. Not that they didn't deserve it, of course. Last the Avengers knew, they were the one responsible for the destruction of New York all those years ago. They were indirectly responsible for Stark's PTSD and Clint's aversion to letting go of control. They had hurt so many people here. They deserved to be cast out.
But then, they got to talking with Natasha. It seems she had heard Loki's full story from Thor and Banner. All of the good they had tried to do since New York. They asked for her forgiveness, and she gave it. She understood what Loki had gone through, having experienced her own torture in the Red Room. You're just as much of a monster as I am. She had told them with that winning smile of hers. She suspected that Loki's little rant to her at the time was aimed more at themselves than her. She was right, Loki knew that now. But nonetheless, she understood.
Forgiveness was harder to come by from the others, as to be expected. Although, they hadn't expected Clint to be so easily cleared away. He had suffered the most at their hands, out of the Avengers. He didn't forgive them necessarily, but he was talking to them for a short portion of the night. The two traded their fair share of insults, to be sure, but there wasn't any violence behind it. He stopped them before they left wit Thor at the end of the night, and he told them a soft this was fun. It wasn't a sign of a mended bridge, but it was something.
Stark was⌠standoffish. Loki noticed it from the moment they entered the room with Thor. They didn't go out of their way to speak to him, nor did he to them. However, Loki shared a knowing look with him when the Avengers all sat in a circle towards the end of the night. While the rest were distracted with idle chatter, Loki had glanced in the billionaire's direction. Tony didn't say a word, as they locked eyes. He simply sighed and gave Loki a stiff nod. In Stark language, it was a way of saying you're alright. At least, that's what Miss Potts and Colonel Rhodes had told them later on.
Sam and Bucky were new additions. Loki hadn't met them before, at least. It seemed they knew of Loki and what they had done. Sam was quiet when Loki first approached the pair on their own, but Bucky's wall seemed to crumble when Loki introduced themself. It seemed that the Winter Soldier and the God of Mischief had more in common than Loki would've assumed. After fifteen minutes of gentle chatter between the pair, Sam cracked a joke about something Loki had said. Something like God, Bucky, there's two of you? It made Loki giggle, and Sam smiled right back at them, finally giving his name with a short oh, I'm Sam, by the way.
Wanda and Vision were a breath of fresh air when Loki stumbled into the kitchen. They walked in on the couple and sheepishly asked if they had any snacks. Vision was immediately hospitable, offering Loki some of the freshly baked cookies he and Wanda had made. They're still warm! Wanda had chirped with a grin. Accepting one ended in almost an hour long conversation with the three. Turns out, the mind stone connection they all shared made friendship easier. The interaction ended with Wanda and Vision inviting Loki, Mobius, and their boys over for a play date with the twins (Wanda had twin boys with Vision! Loki didn't want to know how that worked). You're all welcome anytime! Vision had called to them as they exited the kitchen.
Then, it all came down to the Captain. Captain America. Steve Rogers. America's most righteous man. Loki wasn't expecting forgiveness from him. They knew that what Loki had done was against everything that Captain stood for. Besides, Loki knew well that they didn't deserve Steve's forgiveness. They didn't deserve the forgiveness of a righteous man. They hadn't earned that, so they weren't expecting it.
"Loki." The God had been sitting in their own for awhile now, seeking a brief respite from the bustling party at some point in the middle. They found a lounge room off of the main area, and they sat down to collect themselves. They loved parties, of course, but this one had just been so much at once. They hadn't spoken to somebody in about an hour, which is why they startled at the sight of the Captain in the doorway.
"Captain." Loki laughed, anxiety lacing their tone. Steve leaned against the doorframe, a smile gracing his features. It wasn't mocking or teasing, just a genuine smile being flashed in their direction.
"Having fun?" Steve asked, taking their words as an invitation to come and sit beside them. Loki swallowed thickly and nodded. A gentle silence fell over the pair for a good while, and Loki wondered what the Captain was thinking. Was he thinking of how to lay into them about what they had done? They knew that he just had to hate them for what they had done. He was Captain America, after all. He was the picture of everything good on Midgard. He was the hero of man. Heâ
"Bucky said that you and him have a coffee date next week." Steve spoke casually, as if he wasn't speaking to Loki, like he was speaking to some other Avenger.
"Not a romantic date. I'm happily taken." Loki muttered defensively, wondering if Steve had been attempting to catch them in some kind of scandal.
"No, I know." Steve chuckled. "It's justâŚ" He fumbled with his words. "I was just happy to hear that you two were talking. You two have a lot in common, uh, backstory wise." Loki froze up a bit, glancing back at the Captain.
"What?"
"The whole mind control thing?" Steve laughed, eyebrows furrowing at Loki's tone. "Didn't he tell you? He said that heâ"
"No, he did. The birdman, uh Sam, actually made a joke about that. Something about how there's two of Bucky now." Loki fiddled with the edge of their sleeve, fingers dancing over the fabric in a gentle pattern. "I just⌠I didn't figure you knew about my predicament. Or, ah⌠believed it."
"Why wouldn't I?" Steve pressed.
"Because of what I did." Loki almost whispered that, their voice practically shaking with anxiety. "I don't deserve to be forgiven for New York. I know that."
"You weren't in your right mind."
"But I still did it."
"But what have you done since then?"
"I've betrayed my own brother countless times, I took over Asgard, indirectly got my father killed, and I died by getting my neck snapped like a damn coward." Loki's voice was uneasy now, harsh and sharp with their guilt and absolution. They didn't look at the Captain, staring ahead with an expression of stone. Steve pulled back, startled by the change in their demeanor. After a bout of awkward silence, he spoke again.
"That's not what Thor and Bruce told us."
"What did they tell you then, Captain?"
"They told us that you nearly sacrificed yourself to save the people of Asgard. Thor said you could've killed yourself while setting of Ragnarok." Steve began. "Bruce said you stood up to Thanos to save him, and Thor said you let Thanos kill you to save him. Thor also told us about the Time Variance Authority and how you're really sitting at the end of time and holding our world and all others together. He told us that you sacrificed yourself to do that. How you risked sacrificing a life with your family and friends to save them."
Loki was quiet. "In short, Loki, he told us that you became a hero." The God felt their bottom lip shake, and their gaze fell towards their lap. They had told Thor about the TVA, and, of course, he already knew about everything before that. They didn't think that any of their actions since New York mattered. They assumed that what they had done was unforgivable. They didn't believe that their brother could ever see them as any kind of hero. Because they weren't a hero. The good things they had done had merely been ways of atonement for what they had done in New York.
"I didn't-" Loki choked on the words. "I did not know he thought that of me."
Steve nodded, "He does. Most of us do, actually." The captain shrugged. "What happened in New York can't be washed away or ignored, Loki, and I think you know thatâ"
"I know, Captain. I know that."
"But," Steve continued. "we won't hold it against you forever. You've made a change, you've saved lives, you've helped people. Not everyone here forgives you, but none of us think you're a monster anymore. You're⌠more of an Avenger now." Steve flashed another winning smile, and Loki returned it with their own weak one.
He was right. They weren't a monster anymore. They weren't the outcast that they had been brought up to be. They weren't the villain or evil beast. They were imperfect, flawed, just a bit more human than before. They had allowed themselves to be known, and they reaped the rewards of trusted friends, a team, family, and even a husband and children. In their quest for atonement, they had accidentally become a hero. Become known. For once, Loki had a small army of people that saw them, the deepest parts of them. The ugliness, the trauma, the darkest parts of their soul.
"Thank you, Steve." Loki muttered back, taking the captain's hand and allowed themselves to be led back into the party.
There's something so intimate about being known. That feeling of having the darkest parts of one's soul be bared to another is both freeing and terrifying all at once. That sort of vulnerability is a rare jewel in most connections made. If it was easy to find, maybe the world would be better than it is now. But it's not. Trust such as that is hard to foster, and, thus, it's not seen often.
Loki knew that better than anybody.
As always, let me know if you enjoyed this!! Send a note, reblog, send a like, the whole nine!! And of course, feel free to send in suggestions/prompts/ideas for other fanfics and headcanons!
Amsterdam by imagine dragons is such a loki song. In particular the lyrics of "Im sorry, mother I'm sorry, I let you down. Well, these days I'm fine. No these days I tend to lie." Being about frigga and the dark world.
"I'm sorry, brother I'm sorry, I let cha down. Well, these days you're fine. No these days you tend to lie" being about Thor after loki dies in infinity war.
"Your time will come if you wait for it, if you wait for it. It's hard, believe me I've tried. But the rain won't fall for the both of us. The sun won't shine on the both of us. Believe me when I say, that I wouldn't have it any other way"
I think this and the final part would be about what happens in the show/season 2 (idk I've never watched season 2)
"Your time will come if you wait for it, if you wait for it. It's hard, believe me I've tried. But I won't wait much longer 'cause these walls they're crashing down"
Darkness, Flooded in Light (ao3) - galaxysoup
T, 42k
Summary: âWhen much is taken, something is returned.â - Terry Pratchett, Nation
Loki falls. Injured and unable to access his magic, he must struggle to restore himself physically and mentally before the Bifrost is repaired and Asgard comes to find him. That would be difficult enough, but one of Asgardâs deepest secrets has followed him...
Do No Harm (ao3) - AuroraWest, the_genderman
loki/stephen
M, 69k
Summary: When Loki stole the Tesseract from the Avengers, he hadnât been trying to break the universe. Nor had he anticipated a wizard saving his life.
Now, Loki finds himself in the New York Sanctum, helping Stephen Strange hold the universe togetherâwhile he himself falls apart. But trouble finds the God of Mischief whether he invites it or not, and good things donât last for Loki. As his universe crumbles and takes another with it, heâll be faced with a choice: the greater good or the people he loves.
Dreams Come Slow and They Go So Fast (ao3) - FlashySyren
jane/thor, loki/sif
M, 27k
Summary: Loki managed to get the throne for himself, but now he has to figure out how to keep from being discovered and replace Odin as King because the ruse won't work forever. Unfortunately, plans have a way of going awry.
Summary: Loki is sent to live with the Avengers under the careful watch of Thor, only a few weeks after the New York attack. They dread it at first, but come to realize that Loki is not as he seems. They uncover centuries of trauma and dead family, on top of that identity issues with reindeer games. Get ready to cry.
Foundations (ao3) - AuroraWest
T, 16k
Summary: Nothing crumbles all at once. Loki, and five times the cracks showed.
Grievance (ao3) - PeaceHeather
N/R, 92k
Summary: For a fill in Round 17 of Norsekink:
"Someone starts to notice that Odin treats Loki in ways that are neglectfull and borderline abusive and starts to feel very uncomfortable about it.
It becomes worse when people at court start to take after Odin's treatment of Loki. But they still don't feel comfortable voicing they're doubts out loud.
And then the lip-sewing incident happens and they can no longer sit idly by while this happens. So this person just stand up and calls the rest of Asgard out on this bulshit, seriously the boy just cut of some hair, it's not like it wont ever grow back on it's own again.
I do solemnly swear (ao3) - Mikkeneko
T, 11k
Summary: In which our heroes learn the perils of lack of inter-team communication, and Loki gives his side of the story.
Life In Reverse (ao3) - Lise
T, 228k
Summary: Home is where you make it. Or, the AU where Loki falls to Earth after Thor, wanders around trying to work out what to do with himself, and somehow ends up working for SHIELD. (Mostly because supervillains are so plebian.)
Slow Poison (ao3) -Â Mikkeneko
T, 29k
Summary: Years before the events of Thor and Avengers, Loki is working as a spymaster for his father the King. Or at least... that's what he thinks he's doing.
Sure (ao3) - usedupshiver
loki/tony
M, 77k
Summary: When Loki finds the hung over remains of the party animal that is his brother's best friend sleeping on his couch, he's sure it will upset all his plans to spend the day studying.
Tony isn't really sure how he got there in the first place, but it turns out he isn't in any hurry to leave.
Tapestry (ao3) - Arvensis5
loki/tony
T, 35k
Summary: While in prison on Asgard, Frigga devises her own punishment for her wayward son â she bestows upon Loki the curse of watching the different pathways of what might have been during the attack on Midgard. In one thread, he accepted the drink from Stark. In another, Stark saved him from death. In every thread, the infuriating mortal captures Loki's attention. Now, every time he closes his eyes, Loki walks the threads of fate that never were and that never will be, and in doing so, he must learn from the past to find the future that Frigga has already foretold from the tapestry of fate.
The Hangman's Hands (ao3) - Mercurie
jane/thor, jane/loki
M, 160k
Summary: Thor and Loki never make it back to Asgard. Now S.H.I.E.L.D. is stuck with the world's most hated war criminal on their hands and everyone wants a piece - unless they can find a way to get rid of him for good.
True Son (fanfiction.net) - Catspook
T, 12k
Summary: Written as a fill on Norsekink - AU: prior to the events of the movie, Loki becomes depressed when he concludes that he will never be able to make his parents proud.
Summary: Loki had every intention of wreaking havoc upon Midgard the moment his suicide attempt had failed, it was just too bad that Midgard ended up being so distracting. Who knew that such a primitive society would have such a novel concept as therapy?
truth more than knowledge (ao3) - Lise
T, 8k
Summary: When Loki sees the Tesseract sitting in the Vault, of course he's going to take it. He can't possibly do anything else.
No, really. He can't.
Walked In These Quiet Hazes (ao3) - ratsats
T, 193k
Summary: Loki has spent five years avoiding death. It was a success. Alive once again, if also sort of lost, he seeks out his brother. Turns out, Thor has issues of his own to deal with.
With One More Try (Can We Start Again)Â (ao3) -Â Infinite_Monkeys
M, 13k
Summary: Loki's attempt to conquer Earth has, to his great dismay, succeeded spectacularly. When Thanos sends him to collect the Time Stone, he strikes a deal with the Stone's keeper: he'll be sent back to the beginning of the invasion, and this time, armed with knowledge about his opponents, he can lose properly.
Or: a time loop fic in which Loki does increasingly desperate things to try and get the Avengers to defeat him already.
Your Life for My Pride (ao3) - Mythtaken Identity (Shadowland)
G, 15k
Summary: Loki is not the typical Asgardian warrior. He fights with seidr, agility, and deception. When the Warriors Three question the honour of such methods, Thor proposes a series of contests to prove that Loki's talents can overcome their respective strengths...with a little cheating.
ya'll ever just have a writer aesthetic moment. like rn i'm in google docs and shit. but like i'm in my pj's... it's raining... crisscross applesauce... cat sleeping on my bed... almost 1 a.m... like y'know those moments
I remember what this was in reference to but also re-reading it made me have a Thought and the Thought was this: what if Asgardians have to EARN the right to manifest their soul in the same way that Midgardians take for granted? Like you have to go on a big quest and everything in order to receive the right to âdrink of the springâ or âcast yourself into the fireâ or whatever ceremonial thingamajig they gotta go through to get their daemons.
ANYWAYS WHAT IF Thor goes on his Big Journey and his daemon manifests as a particularly large and hard-headed goatlike creature and everyone is all oohing and aahing over the horns. Meanwhile Loki, as the younger brother, now gets to go on HIS Big Journey but everyone is all *rolls eyes* and âGet a load of this guyâ and âLoki, we already KNOW what YOUR soul is, youâre a snake from the inside outâ and itâs not quite meant as an insult but itâs also not NOT an insult, you feel?
LOKI feels. Loki grits his teeth and ignores the haters and he goes on his Big Quest thing andâŚhis daemon is an adorable cat creature. It has massive eyes and adorable likkle toe beans and delicately pointed fangs and everyone is AGOG and AGHAST and HAVE WE MISJUDGED YOU THIS WHOLE TIME?
Of course, what nobody realizes (and Loki never divulges) is that his adorable likkle daemon is venomous as all get-out. She grows into her adorable paws and slinks around after Loki with luminous green-gold eyes and her voice is softer than the princeâs, but no less sharp. The court, as whole, is kinder to the prince in the reveal of his soulâs shape, and Odin Takes Note of his elder sonâs hard-headed soul and his younger sonâs more subtle nature and the coronation of Thor Odinson gets put off for a century or five and the Sons of Odin are instead sent out into the Galaxy on a mission to build treaties.
Three planets in, they have an altercation with the Ravagers, meet Peter Quill and his daemon, Yagota, and the rest - as they say - is history, mystery, legend, and myth (kind of like the tale of Kevin Bacon).
Bruce was the sun. He was warm and a light that gave life to everything important and bright. He was everything and nothing, for he was what most took for granted, and were most grateful for when they realized what he could do. He was the sun as a destructive force to, for he had the power to destroy planets, but he had the control not to. Even if he did, he was the light that would bring them back. He was not a beast, but he was a sun.
PETER THE STAR SPIDER
Peter was a star, planets could revolve around him, people see him everyday, and they would never know how bright he was. One had to look closely to see just how bright he might be, and one had to be close to him to know how truly warm he could be. Even when glancing from far away, his light never dimmed. He was a star, but he was also a spider, for he could be quiet. He could be quiet, and he was able to spin webs. Peter was aware of the bright light he emitted, and he knew how to spin it.
WADE THE ERUPTING MOUNTAIN
Wade was a mountain, not only a mountain but he was an erupting one. One never knew when he would blow, but when he did it was hellfire and chaos. But he could control it, for he was a mountain, and mountains could never moved. He was all in glory and he was bright but he burned, and only others who burned could ever touch him.
TCHALLA WAS THE SKY CAT
Tâchalla was a cat. Graceful and proud, he cared for what he cared for in ways people would not understand. He had claws and a bite he rarely used, and the ability to land on all fours no matter how far the fall. He was discreet. Not unlike a spider, but where a spider chose to be small enough to go unnoticed, or bright enough to scare, Tâchalla simply belonged anywhere. To tell him otherwise was a challenge he could accept. He was the sky in that sense as well, an embodiment of protection from outer harms but also the indifference to leave people lightless and in the night should he choose.
TONY THE CoMET
Tony was a comet, a bright, burning streak in the air. Though one rarely saw itâs true brilliance, it lived on in memory for years. And it always came back, for it would not leave those it truly cared for. He was colorful, a beautiful that made all that saw realized he was brilliant, more than that, he could leave his mark.
STEVE WAS THE WINTER SOLDIER
Steve was the winter soldier, all though Bucky bore the title. Steve was a soldier, carved and born of ice. He lived for the war and though he longed for the warmth of a normal life, he could never touch it. He would melt. But even ice has a warmth no one can recreate, and even ice can burn.
BUCKY WAS THE FALL LEAF
Bucky was the fall leaf, originally part of a tree. Green and strong it obeyed the treeâs commands to keep it alive. But it fell, and though the tree lived on it caused the death of Bucky. But it still held beauty and allowed the wind to push it where it needed to go. Despite not knowing where he was, he still held strong to a resolve that made it impossible for him to crumble. Even if his colors changed and he know longer felt part of a tree; His life moved and lived on.
CLINT WAS THE STORM CLOUD
Clint was the storm cloud. He was dark and fierce, unleashing pointed rage. He was stubborn, determined, but he also followed the wind where it took him. His bouts of temper were often short-lived, eased by the arrival of his lighter other side: Phil.
PHIL WAS THE CALM CLOUD
Phil was the calm to Clintâs storm. He was lighthearted, his pale greys soothing to those around him. He cast a cool shadow, providing shelter from the sunâs burning rays, a layer of protection between others and the worldâs harshness.
WANDA AND PIETRO WERE SUNSET/SUNRISE
Pietro is the sunrise. He approaches quicker than youâd like, bringing with him joyful tunes and daytime energy. He banishes the darkness, encouraging you to rise and fight and play. Heâs pale blue and bright yellow, a blur that stirs you and leaves you grinning.
Wanda is the sunset. Sheâs calmer than her elder, fraternal twin, and casts darkness across the land. But itâs a fiery darkness, born of vivid hues that flare with one last bit of life before the stars come out to shine. As much as she is a death, she is also a rebirth into a different type of life.
VISION WAS THE TREE
Vision was the tree. He was strong and sturdy, and had wisdom. But he was still growing, sill learning. He was naĂŻve but he was also old, old with the power he came with. He was a guardian of knowledge even he didnât know, and belonged in a forest surrounded by the plants and life of a world he helped create. His roots stretched deep and into the earth, which helped give him the knowledge essential to live.
FURY WAS THE DORMANT? GUARD? MOUNTAIN
Fury was the mountain. He was a steadfast presence, just always there. He was strong and silent and unmovable, standing firm in what he believed in. He was a massive obstacle between enemies and what/who he deigned to protect, and could rain hell down upon those enemies, be it with icy coldness, raging lava, or stony determination.
NAT WAS THE WATER SPIDER
Nat was the water spider, she was calm and still. Even see through if she si chose, but her wrath was to be feared. She could create waves and and drown you in seconds. But she was also a spider, quiet and stalking. She could build webs from anything and create ripples with simple words. Her touch could be blessing or death, but her bite was poisonous and it would be truly only luck if you survived it.
THOR WAS THE OCEAN
Thor was the ocean. He roared, striking out with all his strength should he need to. He could wipe you out with hardly a thought, and was a force to be reckoned with. But he was also gentle, nurturing the lives he saved and the kingdom he ruled.
LOKI IS A FUCKING ANGEL TBH NATURES?
Loki was an angel of nature, though he would thoroughly disagree with being called an angel.
Thor mightâve agreed with his denial, but he knew of the young boy hidden within the trickster shell, the broken little child that had only ever wanted his familyâs approval. Loki was unarguably nature, however, at least it was what he believed. He was unyielding, resisting anyoneâs attempts to control him. He was even similar in the aspect that he could destroy anything, so long as he was left unattended. He was sharp and brutal alone, but when with the right person, he had a streak of something softer. Not many have seen it, but those who did were undeniably more inclined to believe him an angel. Valkyrie, for one, saw it in the way he protected their people, standing between them and his sisterâs army almost without hesitation. Bruce, another such person, could see it in Lokiâs eyes when he spoke of or saw things he cared for. Thor, of course, was privy to a far more hidden side of him, that youthful brightness that sometimes came out when the brothers were alone, a part of him somehow unscathed by all the bitter years since those innocent days. Peter saw it in the protection Loki had begrudgingly given him in the longest of battles, all because he was âToo young and only a childâÂ. Wanda heard it more than saw it when they had a moment to banter about their annoying but beloved big brothers. Tony understood it whenever he witnessed those moments with Loki where he prattled on about awful fathers and how much greater was simply for the sake of getting rid of the self-loathing he carried, he understood it because he also did it. Natasha intimately understood it as well, recognizing the particular flavor of negative memories swimming through his eyes when he glanced at the Avengers he had once attacked, in the way he echoed her own words back at her: âI have red in my ledger, and Iâd like to wipe it out.âÂ. Clint saw it as well, though he would rather disagree, because Loki had been in his head, in his mind, and he could feel the good coated in a coping mechanism of bad, for he truly had wanted good for Midgard, in a twisted way coaxed into him through whatever had happened to him in the void. And that, Bucky understood; he didnât know the details, but he saw that familiar look in Lokiâs eyes when he saw Thanos, the expression of someone whose mind had been twisted by unspeakable horrors. Steve could even admit it, when he had watched Loki save kids that no one noticed, or when he offered advice when he thought no one would notice. Even Fury, ever the pessimist about human (or Asgardian) nature, saw the ex-conquerorâs similarities to the other man he had taken under his wing, one Tony Stark, whose heroism, although hidden beneath sarcasm and ego, was undeniable to anyone with one good eye. Even Vision, naĂŻve as he was, could understand it once he had seen Loki risk his life for Clint, someone who would have undeniably killed him the first chance he got. Philâs belief in the prince was bittersweet, because in Loki he saw a reverse Ward, a transformation that still pained him, but this time it should go better for everyone involved. Even Thanos, the one who had ruined and hurt and tortured Loki and thought so little of him, could see it in how very strong and calm Loki remained through it all - and how the facade had only cracked once heâd given Loki to his mind. And, if Loki was being honest with himself, maybe he could see a teeny tiny bit of angel in himself, at least compared to such an evil being as Thanos, but it was mostly because he could see the others believing in him, and maybe it was finally time to fulfill Thorâs perpetual ember of hope that Loki wasnât really evil at heart. Besides, if Loki was being honest with himself, (Something he rarely is), he was beautiful, and Angels were beautiful, werenât they? Maybe he didnât have a glowing halo and majestic white wings, but there was a certain appeal to the golden helmet and vivid green magic paired with the darkness he had accepted was part of him.
Hey this is a drabble me and @howlingdawn did, itâs also on her ff.net account and my ao3 account!
This would be a skewed Sleeping Beauty where *aggressively hand waves timelines* at some point Loki pissed off magically powerful people and they cursed him with a sleeping spell of some sort. Â Loki, being Loki, managed to twist it before it caught him and instead of leaving him completely deaf, dumb, and blind, it allows him to project his own consciousness and actively search for his true love in dreams, which will - theoretically - allow him to break the spell faster and get back to living.
He never would have expected that he would have to wait so long for his one true love to be born. Â He also would never have expected that half the trouble is going to be convincing his love that he is real, he is in peril (death by boredom is an actual danger at this point), and theyâre the only one who can save him!
Unstoppable force, meet immovable object, youâll be very happy together.
