#lotr shitposts

[entishramblings]

me, after saying something embarrassing in a social situation:

[condohavenoking]

Fellowship of the Ring + Twitter

[mushroomates]

the fellowship at fancy restaurants:

aragorn: literally would not care if he ate gas station sushi at a truckstop, does not see the appeal of fancy but appreciates the atmosphere. likes taking arwen out for fancy food, great at scouting out the genuinely good places, not just the expensive ones.

boromir: will fight you over paying the check. his current move is pretend to go to the bathroom, stop by the concierge’s desk and drop off his credit card there. always gets some sort of steak.

merry: deceptively well mannered. is polite and well spoken. offers to foot the bill (rich parents) but it’s an empty gesture cuz my man doesn’t carry a wallet on him 90% of the time.

pippin: gets like 80 appetizers and dessert. eats a little off of everyone’s plate. likes to order of the “secret menu” and enjoys french fries at every fine dining establishment regardless if they are offered to begin with.

frodo: very polite, has a hard time deciding what he wants. ends up getting several things and either sharing it with sam or giving the rest of it to pippin. all hobbits are incapable of bringing home leftovers.

sam: makes frodo order for him cuz he’s worried he will mess up the fancy names. fuckin loves him some fancy potatoes. takes a pic of the menu and tries to re-create it at home, 9/10 times it’s better than what the restaurant has.

legolas: eats the garnish. orders fancy cocktails and then will lick the salt rim off, eat the lemon, or the entire whole cherry, stem and all. likes to get pretty salads and sometimes will requests dressing on the side but not even use the dressing.

gimli: fantastic tipper. will fight with boromir about who pays the bill. has great table manners. will ask staff for recommendations and just order what they tell him to. not a picky eater, even if he hates it he will finish it all.

gandalf: shows up an hour, hour and a half, late. asks for servers to “surprise him” pays in cash, leaves whatever number feels right of hundreds on the table and heads out before the bill comes. he has been known to both dine and dash as well as tip 80%.

[thranduilofsmirkwood]

INCORRECT TOLKIEN QUOTES

INCORRECT HOBBIT MEMES

INCORRECT LOTR MEMES

INCORRECT SILMARILLION MEMES

Oldies but goodies

[lordhellrond]

finding the other inconsistencies entirely forgivable, the one grievance I have with the hobbit films is that this is how they portray smaug

when this was his legitimate original motive

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

Completely forgot I made a Mordor sandcastle a few months ago, until I just stumbled across it in my camera roll

He sees all

[lotr-shitposts]

[entishramblings]

guys I’m shrieking….

so, I’m watching Boromir’s death on YouTube so I can get wording correct for a fic I’m writing

and the closed captioning is just so wrong…..

“peas”

———BE AT PEAS SON OF GONDOR!!

P E A S

P E A S