#lovefromoq

[violet-bridgerton]

Happy Valentine’s Day!! 

Made for Zoya on Twitter for @lovefromoq

[evilqueens]

Happy Valentine’s Day to @InsideParrilla on Twitter! Sorry for the late posting, I had school today. 

This whole thing became a monster, so I guess this can be considered the start of a new verse for me. It’s based on one of my favorite book series, Delirium.

I really hope you enjoy the beginning, and I will be posting the entire first part this weekend. (: I hope you had an amazing day today, and many thanks to @lovefromoq for putting this event together! 💕

(link for ao3)

Regina still cries sometimes. The anniversary of her father’s death is one of those times.

She wonders if that’s something that would upset him. Anyone else would find it alarming, perhaps even enough to report her. But her father had always been a bit more lenient about these things than anyone else, despite the surgical procedure he’d had that was supposed to make him feel otherwise.

It was twenty years before her father had been born when the government had identified love as an official disease. An umbrella disorder under which many other disorders had been reclassified as symptoms, like depression, anxiety, insomnia. And by the time her father had turned eighteen a cure had been all but perfected to keep the public safe against love.

It’d become a mandatory operation — a surgery on the brain, performed on the spot of the head just behind the ear. It was a clean procedure by the time her father had gotten it, leaving behind nothing but three small dots as evidence. A scar most people wore proudly as the mark against amor deliria nervosa.

The wind picks up as Regina stares out at the tides, stinging her tear-stained cheeks and making a mess of her hair. She takes a quick glance around to make sure no one’s there to witness her crying. But she knows she’s safe; it’s too cold to be at the beach. She used to complain whenever her father would drag her out here during temperatures like this, claiming the cold air was refreshing for the mind.

And detrimental to the immune system, she would argue. Then he’d wrap an arm around her — unusual for Cureds, to show any sort of physical affection — and make some sort of teasing compliment about how good a doctor she is. Usually followed by some ridiculous quip of him having learned not to fear everything in nature just because it might pose a danger to him.

The longer Regina has thought about that, the deeper it seems to ring true.

Her father had never outwardly supported the cause against the deliria — not the way most everyone else does. He didn’t cringe away from talk of the deliria the way most people around Regina do. He had secret stashes of banned books and music that Regina had rifled through on more than one occasion when she was younger. The bulk of it had been made well before the official classification of the disease, and the books glorified it, their authors unaware. And the music was full of haunting melodies belting the ugly effects of the deliria that still send a shiver down Regina’s spine whenever she thinks about them.

She never knew why her father held on to those items. It wasn’t safe by any means, and had anyone else ever come across the stashes Regina’s sure he would’ve been accused of being a Sympathizer, a resister to the fight against the deliria.

She brings a hand up behind her ear, rubbing at her procedural scar. She’d gotten the cure two months after her eighteenth birthday. Procedures before the age of eighteen aren’t generally allowed — too many dire side-effects can occur. Though doctors are working hard to make the cure safe for everyone, for now people have to wait until at least eighteen — sometimes older, depending on results of a mandatory physical — unless under extreme circumstances.

Regina used to fear getting the cure when she was younger, more than contracting the deliria itself (though she’d never admit that to anyone). Though she’d never fallen victim of the deliria, her anxiety before the cure had been through the roof, and it had taken everything in her to suppress the panic that had welled up in her the day of her procedure.

She remembers one of the nurses helping her that day had caught a stray tear before Regina could wipe it away, and had tried to ease her worries. “After this, you won’t have reasons to cry again. You’ll be safe.”

Regina scoffs now at the memory, wiping away another tear. Out in the cold, deserted beach, with nothing but sad memories to keep her company, she wonders what she’d done to warrant being so unfortunate.

She also can’t help but wonder what that nurse’s misconception means for her safety.

—

Regina’s first thought about the new nurse on duty is that he’s gorgeous — and she’s immediately alarmed by it. It’s not the first time she’s had that thought about a person, but it is the first time it’s felt anything but objective. The first time since having been cured, anyway.

He’s not very tall. On the days she wears heels (which is more often than not), she’s almost eye-level with him. She thinks this makes things more difficult for her. It gives her a better view of his blue eyes, and the dimples that often peak out when he speaks or smiles (and he smiles a lot, more than anyone else around here).

The tingle she’d felt shoot up her arm when he’d shaken her hand and introduced himself as Robin was one she’d had trouble shaking off for the rest of the day.

She avoids him at first, irritated at the way his gaze leaves a warm feeling in her chest. She’s dismissive, and doesn’t let herself spend more time than she needs to in his immediate proximity. She cuts any conversations with him short at the first opportunity. She doesn’t meet his eyes when he speaks to her, opting to busy herself with whatever’s close by. One day he catches her without anything around for her to toy with, and she finds herself mentally connecting the dots of his procedural scar as he goes over a form with her.

He calls her out on her elusiveness one day.

“I’m cured, you know,” he comments out of the blue while she fills out a prescription form.

She looks up in confusion as he leans an elbow on the counter next to her. “What?”

He smirks at her, the appearance of his dimples causing an unwanted distraction. “Ever since I started here, you’ve been avoiding me like we’re a pair of teenagers. So I just wanted to let you know that I am cured, and you have nothing to worry about.”

She fights down a blush, bristling at his accusation, even though it’s more or less true. She bites back, “I’m perfectly aware.”

“I don’t have any other disease either, for the record,” he quips before she can say anything else. “I was cleared before being allowed to work here.” His smirk doesn’t let up.

“I’m sure you have a clean bill of health.” She glares at him. “And I’m not avoiding you,” she lies. She rips the prescription form off its pack with more force than necessary.

“Could’ve fooled me,” he mutters as she moves around him to get back to her patient’s room.

She throws another glare over her shoulder. “Well you’ll have to excuse me if I have better things to do here than stand around and chat with you.”

She leaves before he can respond, unwilling to give him a chance to point out that her hasty retreat helps his point more than hers.

Determined to prove him wrong, Regina stops dodging him after that. Robin notices, she can tell by the amusement in the smiles he gives her for the following week, but he thankfully doesn’t comment on it. He takes full advantage of the end of her evasiveness however, engaging her in more conversations. And she wills her heartbeat to steady when he’s standing too close, or when his voice lowers to throw a joke or a light tease in her direction.

She watches him, in spite of herself. He has a warm demeanor, one the kids he tends to pick up on immediately. He doesn’t cross the line of propriety, but he tends to near it more often than not; comments here and there that one might consider more playful than than what’s considered normal. He’s drawn a giggle or two out of children before — but aside from a sideways glance from uninterested parents, no one seems to notice anything particularly out of the ordinary. And it occurs to Regina more than once that the only reason she’s noticed it herself is because she pays him too much attention.

And he’s noticed, she thinks. Or perhaps, he also just pays her more attention than he should. In any case, he takes any opportunity he can to talk to her. From often needless information on the children he’s prepped for her to see, to offhand comments about the weather, not a day goes by that he doesn’t attempt a conversation while they work together.

She thinks it should bother her — she’s never been one to have patience for those on the chattery side, her low tolerance for the secretary Ruby being a good example. And as it is, her encounters with Robin do leave her annoyed — but not so much with him. Instead she’s irritated at how unbothered she is by his presence, at how she might even like it.

She’s too aware of him when he’s near. Aware enough to become familiarized with the timbre of his voice, and the shade of blue his eyes are. Aware enough to know that he smells of pine trees, and that the bottom circle of his procedural scar is a just a little bit crooked (and she wonders where he got his procedure; were they careless about it?). She feels his absence more than she thinks she should on his days off, and it leaves her feeling a little off-kilter going those days without talking to him. She’s too aware.

She’s treating a little boy with an ear infection one day, a particularly bad one that she can only assume worsened due to negligence. Her guess is all but proven when Robin exits the examination room and tells her that the reason the boy wasn’t brought in sooner was because his mother had a short business trip to make. The lack of interest from the mother in question is apparent when Regina enters the room and barely receives a reply to her hello.

It’s one of the most common side-effects of the Cure — for people to be unable to form a parental attachment to their children. It’s not new for Regina to come across parents who aren’t particularly worried for the well-being of the children they bring in. There are extreme cases, of course, ones she’s allowed to report if the child’s life seems to be in imminent danger. But those are rare, and despite the unwanted tug in her heart at seeing this little boy feeling so obviously miserable, she knows there’s not much she can do besides prescribe him his antibiotics.

She can’t help casually asking for assurance from his mother that the boy will be monitored and given his medicine, however. She’s told that the housekeeper will be put in charge of administering the boy’s medication, but the answer doesn’t do much to relieve the tightening of Regina’s chest as she clears them both to leave.

She fills a paper cup with water she doesn’t think she’s gonna drink, trying to buy herself time to better compose herself.

“I would assume the housekeeper will be diligent about the medicine,” she hears Robin lightly say. She looks up to see him reach for a paper cup of his own as he continues, “If only to make sure she keeps her job.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.” She tries to school her face, but the way he looks at her tells her she doesn’t succeed.

He gives her a smile. “He seemed like a trooper,” he agrees. “I think I even saw a bit of a smile when Ruby handed him his lollipop in the waiting area.”

The corners of Regina’s mouth twitch up despite herself at the notion, and the invisible weight on her chest lightens up a little. It’s replaced with a different form of anxiety at Robin’s next words, however.

His smile fades, and he studies her for a moment before softly declaring, “You care about these children.” There’s a certain weight to his words that Regina can’t discern, but it leaves her feeling uneasy.

She stays silent, unsure of how to respond without sounding defensive. Because she suddenly feels defensive — the unidentifiable meaning in his comment has her feeling almost accused. And though she’s not exactly sure of what, she’s also not sure she can truthfully say she’s not guilty.

The corners of Robin’s mouth twitch up again. “It’s refreshing,” he tells her. “At least someone around here is good at their job.” He gives her a playful wink.

It doesn’t fully ease the anxiety of his earlier implication, but the compliment still warms her. The anxious flip flopping in her stomach takes a lighter tone. Almost like butterflies.

[emmaline91]

Hopin’ and Prayin’ and Wishin’

Here is my @lovefromoq gift for @findingtallahassee 😘

The shadows blanket the road this far out. They stretch from the tops of the evergreen trees and cast most of the road in darkness. Except for tonight, there are a few bright beams filtering down from the full moon in the sky. The only sounds come from the crickets and wildlife beyond the pines and it’s a solitary, lonely kind of peaceful.

She’s made a habit out of coming here; slipping out just after Henry’s gone to sleep and spending a precious few hours hoping. Hoping for what, she isn’t quite sure. Maybe for the resolute acceptance of how things have turned out. For her heart to stop aching and move on already. Sometimes even, she’s loathe to admit, she wishes for a freak accident that would take Marian away and right the universe again.

But mostly, she hopes he’ll appear out of thin air, grinning how he does, as he steps back into Storybrooke and into her life.

She knows it won’t happen, that he might as well be in another realm altogether. She understands why he’s gone, respects it even, but it doesn’t keep her from peering out down the road and wondering where on the other side he could be tonight.

The pavement is cool beneath her thin slacks but she likes sitting at the very edge where she can pretend the red line in front of her crossed legs is the only barrier keeping them apart. As if the two of them sit apart, the protection spell a curtain that only need be pulled back and they’d be face to face. She lifts the flask next to her and the moon beams off its shiny surface as she indulges in another sip. She’s not drunk, but the alcohol numbs things just enough, blurs the edges so she doesn’t actually cry. And it would be all to easy to let herself embrace her emotions and sob in self pity.

He was supposed to be her second chance; her redemption for the awful woman she’d been—and he was, for however brief a time. His integrity made her better. His morals brought her back to that seventeen year old girl she once was. Just “Regina”, not “Her Majesty” or “The Evil Queen”. He saw the real Regina under all those layers of guilt and anger and regret. And perhaps what makes her feel more despondent than anything is that she’ll never get a third chance. She got so unexpectedly lucky with Robin. She didn’t deserve him to begin with, but only he could have been her soulmate. Only he could understand every sordid detail of her past and still have the audacity to not only love her, but choose her.

Regina runs a hand through the front of her dark hair as she sighs. She misses him. She misses having another person unconditionally in her corner, misses not always feeling like the third wheel, misses the smell of damp earth and aged redwood.

She wants to scream to the heavens, or this “author”, or whatever higher power there might be that it’s so unfair! Only she knows damn well how fair her pain is; how cosmic and condemned her story has read. It’s her punishment for choosing revenge when she could have chosen forgiveness. Daniel’s death was the great catalyst of her life. And while she knows there are many who let their grief morph into hatred, there had been another way. It would have been harder, maybe taken longer, but she might have come out the other side a better person; a hero.

She won’t make that mistake again.

While it feels just as bad as it had years ago, even worse actually; she cannot tarnish what Robin stood for, just to try to ease the ache. If anyone was undeserving, it was that man. He had made mistakes the same as any of them, sure, but he worked for his redemption. Robin had found a way to do what she never could. He turned his pain into purpose. A purpose full of love and selflessness and renewal.

And now he’s been hurt once more, entangled in the web of her retribution; collateral damage for the penance she was paying. He had not known just what loving the Evil Queen would cost him, even if she had truly made a change. Yet, he had opted to accept the shit hand he was dealt and if only it weren’t for her he wouldn’t be hurting because of it. He might even be overjoyed to have his late wife back; his family reunited.

She prays for that as she slowly pushes herself to her feet now. She decides it’s the only thing she can do to wish him well, Marian too. If only she could have granted him a memory spell before he’d gone so he could forget about the wreckage she’d brought into his heart. Of course, her thief would never have taken the easy way out. And Regina can’t help but to hold on to the thought of him remembering her, remembering the true, sacred, magical connection they shared.

She suddenly has to lift her fingers to her face to brush away an errant tear. She will not feel sorry for herself, at least not anymore tonight.

Staring out down the still, vacant road out of Storybrooke, she sniffles and squares her shoulders to reign in her emotions and she hopes above all else that Robin finds the kind of happiness she knows he deserves.

This chapter of her story is closing, and she needs to let the dust settle on the pages and find a way to move on. If her heart is going to take it’s time mending, then she must stop her late night visits. She has a son at home and new, delicate friendships, and a town that seems forever under threat, and a population of people who she owes debts so great she may never repay them. But she must try.

She turns on her heel and heads back to her silver benz parked just off the shoulder, opens the door and gives one last, longing gaze down the vacant road.

In her mind, the protected barrier shimmers and parts and her handsome thief appears, Roland at his side, tiny hand clutched in his. Regina abandons the door, unconsciously letting her feet carry her forward a few paces. She let’s her eyes slip closed and smiles wide with the image of them behind her lids.

“Regina”, he says.

And it’s not until she reopens her eyes that it occurs to her the tone of his voice had not been quite right.

“Regina!”

As if awaking from a dream, her focus snaps back to reality and he’s still in front of her, rushing towards her more accurately, his arms outstretched. The the next moment she can feel him against her chest, can smell his woodsy scent right under her nose.

“Oh thank God, Regina!”, he nearly cries in relief and it’s all she can do to catch her brain up to what’s happening. Maybe she’d had more to drink than she thought? He pulls out of the embrace, but doesn’t completely withdraw his touch. He must have sensed her shock, perhaps too overwhelmed to see her to notice she didn’t hug back.

“Regina?”

Her eyes scan over his body, willing herself to believe it’s really him, but they land instead on the dimple faced child grinning up at her.

“Gina! We come to visit you!”, his little voice hits her ears and she raises her eyes back to Robin’s anxious gaze. The acceptance breaks around her and she throws her arms around his neck, afraid he might disappear.

“Robin!”

It’s the only thing she manages to say while she’s this overcome with emotions. He holds her back, just as tight and whispers her name quietly against her head and she finally finds her voice.

“Wha—why—what are you doing here?”, she breathes in disbelief. Her hand falls to Roland’s head below and caresses his locks to finally acknowledge him, but she needs to grasp her current reality before she makes a fool of herself.

“It’s Zelena”, he tells her with a bit of disdain, “We’re all in danger. I had to come back to warn you all, to help fight”

He glances down at his now frightened son and lifts him into his right hip for a soothing hug while Regina blinks in confusion.

“What are you talking about? Where is Mari—“

“We can’t talk about it now”, he cuts her off urgently, gesturing with a discreet nod to the boy in his arms. “Listen, I promise I will explain everything later. But we don’t have a lot of time to gather the others and make a plan”.

He slides a gentle hand down her arm as if to assure her it’ll be alright despite his ominous warning. Roland wiggles in his grasp and his father sets him on his feet a moment before he bounds off a yard or two and squats down to examine a rock on the pavement.

“I’m just so happy to see you, Regina”, Robin cups her cheek in his chilled palm, “didn’t think I would again”.

His words rush off his tongue before his lips are pressed to hers, desperate and needy, fueled by the current perils only he knows they face and his all consuming love for her. It is a reunion kiss that can only come from resolutely believing they’d be separated permanently.

Regina responds with all the heart she can muster, their lips moving fluidly together as if the last few weeks had not eclipsed. When they finally break for air they are both grinning like fools, foreheads resting together as their breathing falls in sync, and she swears she suddenly feels whole again, as if her arm had been missing and has just now been returned. She lets the feeling wash over her, soaks it in selfishly for a minute because she knows how fleeting this absolute contentment is now.

There are still a thousand questions running through her head, a dark cloud churning and billowing over their little town and every life in it, but with Robin’s hand in her own things feel possible.

She tightens her grip and they start toward her car, ushering Roland away from his picture in the dirt as they go. They let their hands slip apart to round the car and Robin opens the back so Roland can hop inside excitedly, insisting that he’s mastered belting himself in. Once he’s safely buckled and shut in, Robin pulls his handle but catches Regina’s eyes over the hood.

They both have a flurry of emotions hidden in their expressions, but one sticks out above them all and Regina knows this one to be the only true importance in the world.

“I love you”, Robin declares, the lines around his eyes wrinkled from the joy on his face.

Her chest swells with such happiness that her dark eyes moisten with tears and she doesn’t care that her voice cracks when she finally speaks the words herself.

“I love you”.

Fin.

[lala-kate]

From End to Beginning: Ch 5

Here is the rest of your @lovefromoq gift @drevazambrano!  I do hope you enjoy it and that your Valentine’s Day has been fabulous so far. :D

The entire story can be read on either AO3 or ff.net.  

She can’t breathe.

He’s there, no here, right here, right in front of her, in her house, standing with their son...just...here…in her house....How?  Why?

“Robin?”

Her lips are numb as his name escapes her, traveling on a puff of air released by a shock so profound she cannot move. He’s looking at her as if she’ll shatter, and maybe she has, she just hasn’t realized it yet.

“Regina.”

She closes her eyes as his voice trails up her body, wrapping her in talons from the past that led her to the present in which they now stand. Then she blinks her eyes open and stares back at him, taking him in, wondering what he’s thinking, afraid of thinking too much herself lest she short-circuit and collapse onto the floor.

“How?”

Neither of them have moved, their gazes fixed on each other, the air between them thick enough to keep them upright.

“It was me.”

Henry’s voice pulls her out of her stupor, and she shifts her focus to her newly found son, , blinking in confusion as he looks from his feet back to her.

“I found him,” Henry continues. “Last night after you went to bed. I told you I was good at finding people, and…” He pauses, looking sheepish and somewhat ashamed. “I sent him an email.”

Facts spin about her with the ferocity of a whirlwind, throwing her off-balance as she tries to catch up.

“An email?” she echoes, licking her lips.

“I’m sorry,” Henry adds. “I should have told you this morning, but I had no idea that…” He cuts off and looks at Robin before taking a step in his direction. “I didn’t think he’d drop everything and just come.”

She blinks repeatedly, staring from one face to the other, father and son, past and present, cause and effect.

“You dropped everything?”

She isn’t at all sure that she’s actually spoken, but Robin’s face cracks open, and he hangs his head.

“I did,” he admits with a self-depreciating shrug. “Twenty-one years too late.”

Then he’s crying, and she’s gaping, trying to put pieces together that shouldn’t fit but do. He’s upset, he’s here, he dropped everything to see their son--his son, the child he’d given her, the son she’d given away. He’d driven here immediately because he wants to know him, to see him, the boy he’d lost because she hadn’t been able to find him.

Damn it all to hell.

The room is too hot, her skin too raw, and she needs air--fresh air, sea air, so she bolts out the front door and sprints towards the ocean, the one body of water large enough to carry away her guilt and drown a bruised conscience. She’s knee deep before she realizes that she’s sobbing, and she drops down so the waves caress her thighs, tugging on her sundress as they leave her for destinations unknown.

Just like he had all those years ago.

Her face is as wet as her body as the salt water from within meets what surrounds her without. It’s too much, coming face to face with her life in one room, staring regret in the eye, hearing lost chances speak for themselves. She sinks further into the sand, allowing the surf to caress her breasts, just as he had the summer that led them all back to each other right now, and she longs to fly away with the gulls, to simply spread her wings and float above self-reproach and bruised emotions.

If only things were that easy. If only life responded to wishes.

“I’m so sorry.”

His voice blends into the sea, but she stares straight ahead into the horizon rather than into his eyes.

“You, God, Regina...I had no idea...I mean, I should have considered...I should have thought...fuck.”

It’s his curse that makes her look at him, that allows her to see that he’s on his knees as well, and she can’t help but wonder if they look like sinners praying for absolution to a sea god just beyond their reach.

“I know,” she manages, swallowing the thick moisture left behind by tears. “And I did try, Robin...I…”

“I know,” he states. “Henry told me, and I have no doubt that you did your best to track me down, to let me know that...that we were going to have a baby.”

Her tongue thickens as she feels how she felt when writing him out of desperation, as she prayed this letter wouldn’t be returned to her like the last one, as she wondered where on earth he’d gone off to and why he hadn’t thought to let her know.

“Why?”

The word drifts out of her mouth, over her lips and into salty spray, it’s implications hitting him with the force of high tide.

“I was ashamed.”

She doesn’t expect that.

“Ashamed? Of what--of what we’d done?”

He turns towards her as a wave presses them backwards, but they hold their ground as sand vanishes from beneath them.

“No, never, not that.” He looks back towards the sky, rubbing the beard that reminds her that they’ve lived lifetimes apart. “It’s just that...everything went to hell after you left that summer.”

A laugh pushes its way out of her.

“You can say that again,” she returns, closing her mouth to avoid swallowing salt water. He hangs his head, his chest collapsing into itself, and she realizes she just delivered a blow he’s already felt.

“You have every right to hate me,” he says, his eyes still downcast. “I don’t blame you at all. Christ, I hate myself right now.”

Her heart starts racing until she can’t think.

“I don’t hate you,” she manages. “I’ve never hated you, I just…” She pauses, trying to swallow, trying to breathe, trying to put into words what she’s spent a lifetime trying to outrun. “What the hell happened, Robin? Where did you go?”

The next wave is strong, and it nearly knocks her over. Then his arm is around her, lifting her out of the water and up off the sand, keeping her steady in a world that feels off-kilter.

“My mum,” he begins once he’s sure she’s alright. “She was diagnosed with cancer right after you left.”

Of all of the scenarios she’s imagined over the years, this has never been one of them.

“Oh my God,” she breathes, trying to process an unknown truth. “Robin--I’m sorry.”

He’s quiet, too quiet, and she fears the worst before he clears his throat and looks back at her fully.

“Thank you,” he manages. “It was rough for a long time. We had to leave and move in with a cousin--medical bills, you see.”

More pieces organize themselves in her mind, clearing a portion of her vision that’s been clouded for two decades.

“I took on extra jobs,” he continues. “Trying to make ends meet, trying to take care of her, trying to pay medical bills. Thank God she got better, but things were touch and go for a long time.”

Waves lap at her feet, reaching just past her ankles as his words work their way inside.

“That’s why you weren’t at your address,” she breathes, watching as he nods and dares a look at her once more. “But why didn’t you tell me?”

He swallows and stares back at the horizon into a time she knows he wishes they could step back into and refine.

“You were going to Vassar.” The last word breaks as it leaves his mouth, crumbling into ash as a sob tears its way through his body. “I thought...I thought you could do so much better, that I was doing you a favor, that I’d...that I’d only hold you back.”

Speech deserts him and he cries without restraint, taking a step away from her and towards the sea as if the salt can cleanse him of past mistakes. She stares at his back, at his shoulders, at a head now dropped in defeat, and she dares a step toward him, just one, maybe two as her fingers reach out and make contact with his arm.

“I had to leave Vassar,” she states, amazed by how calm her voice sounds.

“I’m so sorry,” he returns. “God, Regina, if I could do it all again, if I could just go back and send you a fucking postcard with my new address…”

Her grip on his arm moves from gentle to firm.

“I wish you had.”

“God, so do I.”

Eyes lock as the next wave hits below her knee, letting her know she’s already in deeper than she realized.

“Did they kick you out? Your parents, I mean?”

She closes her eyes to the pain of abandonment, hearing him gasp as she nods her head.

“I moved in with an aunt in New York,” she says. “And watched my future disappear while my waistline grew.”

He shakes his head before burying his face in his hands, unable to hold back the waves of grief on which she’s floated for years.

“I should have been there,” he says, wiping his eyes with his arm.

“I wish you had been. God, Robin, I needed you so much.”

Her own damn breaks then, her grip on him tightening even more. Then his hands are on her arms, holding her up, seeking forgiveness, needing more than she is capable of giving until he embraces her with measured hesitation before pulling her fully into his chest.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers into her hair. “So very sorry.”

Her scalp tingles, her nerves alight, then her own arms wrap around him as if he were a piece of driftwood and she a swimmer lost at sea. His tears baptize her head as hers mark his chest, an odd sort of blessing taking root as wave after wave pushes the tide forward onto new ground.

“I’m sorry, too,” she manages.

“What in God’s name for?” he questions, still holding on to her as if his life depended on it. A piece of her soul tears as the words make their way up her throat.

“For giving him away.”

He’s still holding her, and she grips him even tighter, pouring a lifetime of guilt out and onto his shirt.

“You did what had to be done,” he assures her. “You gave him his best chance, and look at how he’s turned out.”

She’s nodding through tears, knowing he’s right but hurting all the same.

“I know. But I missed it all.”

His palms flatten on her back as one moves to cradle her head. A wave licks at her thighs as they stand there, like a deserted plank from an old pier too stubborn to be knocked over, too damaged to be claimed by anyone but each other.

“I know,” he whispers. “So did I. And that’s my fault.”

“No,” she breathes, pulling back so she can look at him. “It’s our fault. I helped to create him. It wasn’t just you.”

He closes his eyes, the pain on his face almost too much for her to take in, and she realizes that he’s the same boy she loved with everything she had back when the world had been simple. Trembling fingers reach out to touch his face, his scruff, his cheek, and he leans into her touch as if it’s the only thing on earth that can repair what’s damaged inside.

“We can’t change the past, Robin,” she mutters. “Believe me. I’ve tried.”

His lips press together as he nods, knowing she’s right, wishing to God that she was wrong.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers again, his hand still in her hair. “I know I can’t say it enough, that it will never be enough…”

“It is,” she interrupts. “It has to be. Don’t you think?”

He looks at her as if she holds his life in her hands, just as she cradled his child in her womb years ago.

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” he whispers, his forehead nearly touching hers.

“I don’t know what either of us deserve,” she breathes, watching as he breaks open again before she pulls him back into her arms. “But I forgive you, Robin.”

There are no secrets left between them now.

They can’t know that he’s watching them, that he’s crying tears of his own as the two people who’d given him life try to repair what his conception and birth broke apart. They don’t realize how he sees them, as two lovers torn apart by what should have brought them together, as two halves of a whole that now miraculously includes him.

They don’t hear as he steps out onto the porch to feel the very breeze billowing over them as they cling to each other in an odd sort of benediction. But he hopes they sense the words he whispers into the wind, words he knows they both need to hear from him more than once, words he didn’t know he’d believe and embrace until he’d met and spoken with them both.

“I forgive you, too.”

[lovefromoq]

Reminder that the deadline to sign up for the Outlaw Queen Valentine’s Day Exchange is January 15!

We’ve got some really creative gift ideas - you don’t have to be an artist/writer to participate! Physical gifts, playlists based on OQ or people’s art/fic, even long, detailed reviews on a portfolio/story have been suggested as gifts - all really thoughtful! Keep them coming!

If you have any questions feel free to DM us or send an email to [email protected] :)

[audreysl0ve]

Love, From OQ Master Fic post!

By the Grace of Fire  @the-notsoevil-queen's gift for @gonewasanytraceofit synopsis:  Outlaw Bandit with a dark twist - When Regina met Tinkerbell, she found herself lead to a tavern where a man with a lion tattoo, her second chance, waited for her. She took a chance on love, and ran away from the King with Tink by her side. But the Queen has kept the truth about her dark magic a secret, even from Robin, and it may just put everyone she loves in danger.

A Valentines Day Surprise @believingispowerfulmagic‘s gift for @sweetsmiles1  Synopsis: Regina makes a birthday wish for Robin to come back.  

A Kiss to Set her Free  @ariestess's gift for @rcgalbeliever  Synopsis:  For the first time since that fateful night in the stables, Regina feels a stirring of hope that love could be hers again as she finds herself standing outside a village tavern.

Signed Sealed Delivered: Valentines Day  @audreysl0ve‘s  gift for @the-notsoevil-queen Synopsis:  Set in the Signed, Sealed, Delivered verse: First Valentine’s Day after getting back together as a couple

Wildflowers @ofpumpkinspices' gift for @Illseeyouthrough (deactivated) Synopsis: Regina owns a flower shop.  Robin is a frequent customer, who also becomes an employee of sorts. :).

So This is Love blt_tana (twitter) gift for @spiral-nebula Synopsis: Robin and Regina have a sexy, (not quite so) lazy morning

Post-its and Paperclips: Valentine’s Day @brookeap3's gift for @repellomuggletum15  Synopsis: Set in the Post-its verse, Robin and Regina celebrate their first Valentine’s Day.

There’s Something There (That I Simply Didn’t See): @dee-thequeenbee’s gift for @theonewithoutaclue  Synopsis:  A Play in Two Acts – Where Love Overcomes Hate, and Two Lonely Souls Find Each Other

I Don’t Think I Can Say Goodbye: EmeraldHardy8 (twitter) fic for @queenmills101  Synopsis:  A Valentine's Day inspired OQ AU. Love is all around us even when one of us won't be here for very much longer.

Happy Valentines: Evil_Outlaw (twitter)’s : gift for @ankareeda Synopsis: Missing Year Valentine’s Day. Lots of DimpesQueen

Moments: FraiseDandelion (twitter)’s gift for @lala-kate Synopsis: The Hood-Mills family have a domestic moment, while Regina thinks about their struggle to get to where they are today.

Before Sunrise @ghostofstartraveller776's gift for @jenningz  Synopsis:  Coffee before dawn and long work days can wear on anyone—even a superwoman like Regina Mills, single mother and business executive. She finds quiet solidarity for her hectic days from an unusual source: the nameless resident in the building across from hers who seems to share her unholy schedule. (Modern/Non-Magical AU)

The Dark Forest @glindalovesshoes' gift for FraiseDandelion (twitter)   Synopsis:  "A man is lying on the sheep's wool, unconscious, bleeding. His face looks as pale as the white wool, which is already drowned in blood from the wounds on his body. The shaft of an arrow is sticking out of his shoulder, the shirt he is wearing ripped and soaked in blood. Regina bites her lip before she makes a decision. What does she have to lose?" OQ AU

As Long As We’re Together @gonewasanytraceofit‘s gift for  @audreysl0ve Synopsis: Canon Valentine’s Day: Regina and Robin have a heart to heart about Regina’s inner fears/insecurities.

My Songs Know What You @the-alpha-incipiens‘ gift for @glindalovesshoes   Synopsis: DragonOutlawQueen. Mal, Regina, and Robin make a sex tape that David accidentally finds (and watches)  

My Grumpy Valentine @gray-autumn-sky‘s gift for @believingispowerfulmagic  Synopsis:  Henry explains Valentine’s Day to Robin, and that Regina has never much cared for the holiday.  Robin is intent on changing her mind.

Happiness Can’t Be Arranged @gray-autumn-sky‘s gift for @ghostofstartraveller776 Set during the Regency Period, Henry and Cora arrange a marriage for their daughter in an effort to save their family’s name and estate.

Heaven Sent a Hurricane @idoltina‘s gift for @mysterious-song  Synopsis:  After a spectacularly terrible Christmas, a hidden gem of a New Year, and a surprise meeting, Robin finds the course of his life in Holiday Land vastly altered. By the time Valentine’s Day comes around, he’s more miserable (see: overwhelmed, terrified, doubtful) than he ever wanted to or thought he would be. And while the prospect of a night in may make a rather dull holiday for most, Robin finds that coming home to Regina might be just the thing he needs 

Coffee  @illseeyouthrough’s gift for @Evil_Outlaw (twitter) Synopsis: A Valentine's Day set up that goes terribly...right? Outlaw Queen AU.

Valentine’s Day inlovewithlanap (twitter) gift for blt_tana (twitter) Synopsis: Regina works in a flower shop and Robin is a frequent client who finally summons the courage to ask her out.

Capturing Light @yamariah  gift for rockchalk4583 (twitter) Synopsis:  He never thought he'd capture the moonlight again. She never thought she'd capture the sunlight again. But when Robin and Regina meet via grief counseling, "never" becomes a word they'd forget.

An OQ Mixed Tape @jenningz's gift for @sydsorbet  Synopsis: Robin surprises Regina on Valentine’s Day

Storm Front @lala-kate  gift for @starscythe Synopsis: A thief goes in desperate search for a cure for his son, and finds a resilient queen whose broken heart is in equal need of healing

Untitled @littlejoregal gift for politeregal (twitter)  Synopsis:  Takes place right after 6x10. Spoilers from the promo of 6x11 included.  

Blooming Most Recklessly @loveexpelrevolt gift for @belleoftheballpoint Synopsis:  Five universes, five something-like-love stories; Or, four times Regina and Robin deal in flowers and one time they deal in hearts. [Storybrooke, pre-curse, Missing Year, Camelot, Outlaw Bandit]

I Love You LucyLovesOQ’s (twitter) gift for @ouater Synopsis: Set in the missing year,  as the castle prepares for a Valentine’s Day Ball, Robin and Roland care for a grieving queen

Stumbling @oparu's gift for @brookeap3​  Missing Year DOQ: Maleficent and Regina struggle with losing their children, and seek comfort in each other, Robin, and Roland.  

Heartbreak Cupcakes and the Color Pink @outlawqueenbey‘s gift for @trina-deckers Synopsis: Valentine’s Day Dimples Dragon Call Me Anytime Synopsis: Canon verse: 4B.  on Valentine’s Day, Maleficent visits a lonely Regina, and intends to perk her up with alcohol.  A surprise phone call changes the course of the evening.  The Most Fortunate Man Synopsis: Robin feels (and gets) lucky on Valentine’s Day

From Cupid with Love @quillerqueen‘s gift for @the-alpha-incipiens  Synopsis:  Once upon a time in the Missing Year, Regina has a kitschy holiday, a mystery secret admirer, and certain urges to deal with. Robin's role in each is not quite what she'd expect. 

Four Walls and a Roof: reachfortheschuyler's gift for WoolGrillRegal (twitter) Synopsis: The Walking Dead AU: Robin and Regina do their best to protect their family in the zombie apocalypse 

Last Hope @regal-pixiedust's  gift for @teresa-ortiz  Synopsis: A happily married Robin and Regina battle Cora’s hurtful words, and make a very important decision

Untitled rockchalk4583 (twitter) gift for @ouatbones Synopsis: High School AU.  Love triangle between Graham, Regina, and Robin 

The Colours of Out Love: An OQ Valentine’s Story @spiral-nebula's gift for @littlejoregal Synopsis:  For Robin it’s red, for Regina it’s something else. Some brief moments from Regina and Robin’s first calm Valentine’s Day. Post season 6, Robin is alive. Robin’s point of view.

Second Chance @colferwesley gift to @loveexpelrevolt Synopsis:  Regina starts to work in a pub, meets with the singer, Robin and they develop a friendship. But is that all?

(Im)Perfect Timing @teresa-ortiz  gift for @dee-thequeenbee Synopsis:  Robin doesn’t let Regina’s sickness put a damper on Valentine’s Day 

The Moon is Silver The Sun is Gold theonewithoutaclue’s gift for @regal-pixiedust   Synopsis: OutlawBandit: A stubborn bandit and an apologetic thief find home in each other. 

Requited @smolderandsass' gift for @reachfortheschuyler Synopsis:  College AU.  Two friends struggle to express what they mean to one another  before graduation.

Old OQ: Valentine’s Day @trina-deckers’ gift for @oparu Synopsis: Regina suffers from Alzheimer's and, on Valentine’s Day, can not remember her husband.  Robin keeps their plans and honors the holiday nonetheless.

Eleutheria  @repellomuggletum15​  gift for @quillerqueen  Synopsis: Regina, a Princess of Egypt, is given away in marriage to Alexander the Great's most trusted warrior.

Valentine’s Day WoolGrillRegal (twitter) gift for inlovewithlanap (twitter) Synopsis:   Robin and Regina celebrate a very special Valentine’s Day.  AU. 

Love, From OQ @x-wishesonfallenstars-x gift for @soligblomma  Synopsis:  Robin and Regina spend a day navigating being a normal Nuclear Family in the down time between villains - kids interrupting them and all

Cupcakes, Carnations, and Handmade Cards  @mysterious-song‘s gift for @outlawqueenbey Synopsis: Missing Year AU: Valentine’s Day is hard for Regina.  A thief and his son are set on making the holiday hold a little less heartache.

[soligblomma]

We all have at least one person in the world that had managed to mend a broken part of your soul.

The Road Less Traveled by @ofpumpkinspices // #LoveFromOQ @oqcelebration

[believingispowerfulmagic]

A Valentine’s Day Surprise

Happy Valentine’s Day to @sweetsmiles1! I was your Love, OQ Secret Admirer! I hope you enjoy the fic I wrote for you and that you have a great Valentine’s Day! 

cc: @oqcelebration

           “Happy birthday, Mom!” Henry entered her bedroom, carrying a tray loaded with pancakes and coffee.

           Regina sat up, smiling at her son. “Henry. You didn’t have to do this.”

           He gave her a look as he set the tray down over her legs. “It’s your birthday. Of course, I want to celebrate. And breakfast in bed is tradition. Eat up!”

           She chuckled and cut into the pancakes, a sign her little prince was growing up. When he was younger, her breakfast was usually cereal and orange juice. He eventually graduated to toast and learned to make coffee. Now, he was making pancakes. What would he be doing next?

           “Thank you, Henry,” she said. “This was so thoughtful.”

           He grinned, folding his legs underneath him to look at her. “What else do you want to do? It’s your special day.”

           She chewed her pancake for a bit, carefully wording her answer. “I think I just want to have a normal day, Henry. That’s all. No fuss, no distractions. Just go on like it’s any other day.”

           “But it’s not another normal day,” Henry insisted. “It’s your birthday and we should celebrate, Mom.”

           “We are celebrating. You’ve made me breakfast and then we’ll have some cake tonight, just you and me. Okay?” Regina tucked two fingers underneath his chin, smiling at him as she prayed he would back down.

           He sighed, his shoulders sagging. “Is this about Robin?”

           “No,” she said, meaning it. “You know I’ve never been big about celebrating my birthday. I’d rather celebrate yours.”

           “Because I’m worth celebrating,” Henry replied. When she nodded, he then countered: “I think you’re worth celebrating.”

           Her heart melted and she put the tray aside so she could hug him. “If it means so much to you, then I guess we can go to dinner at Granny’s and you can invite the Charmings. How’s that?”

           His smile lit up the room. “That sounds great, Mom. I know everyone will appreciate it.”

           “Yeah, yeah,” she replied before holding up a finger. “I draw the line at Granny’s wait staff singing to me. Do we understand?”

           “Don’t worry, Mom. It’ll be a quiet affair. I promise.” He hopped off the bed. “I need to go call Grandma. You enjoy your breakfast.”

           Once Henry was gone, she pulled the tray back and dug into her cooling breakfast. It was just one dinner with the Charmings. She figured the worst that would happen was an off-key rendition of “Happy Birthday” over the cake while the entire restaurant tried not to stare. It seemed tolerable.

           She hoped.

Regina took a deep breath before opening the door to Granny’s diner that night. She had spent the afternoon pampering herself in anticipation (and at Henry’s insistence she relax), soaking in a bubble bath and then using a facial mask as well as other products for her skin. Dressed in red, her power color, Regina definitely felt confident.

It still didn’t mean she was prepared to spend an entire evening with the Charmings and their annoying optimistic tendencies.

She stepped inside and spotted Henry waving at her from one of the booths. Regina waved back and started to head toward the booth. The other patrons nodded in acknowledgment of her, a change from just a few years prior when most wouldn’t have made eye contact with her. As she approached the booth, one waitress smiled as she passed. “Happy birthday, Madam Mayor.”

“Thank you,” she forced herself to say. She then turned on her son. “What was my one condition?”

He grinned. “Relax, Mom. We had to give Granny the cake, so everyone found out. But I made it clear that there is to be no singing.”

“Don’t worry, Regina,” Emma piped up. “I think it’s a bit embarrassing to have the staff sing to you as well.”

Snow beamed up at Regina. “Thank you so much for letting us come to your birthday dinner. It means a lot.”

“I guess it does,” she agreed, sliding in next to Henry. It felt both strange yet right to be celebrating with her stepdaughter and her family.

Hook cleared his throat, picking up the menu. “So, Your Majesty, what will it be for your special day?”

“And don’t think of ordering something super healthy,” Emma added. “Calories don’t count on your birthday.”

Regina gave her a look over the menu but couldn’t help her amused smile as she perused the options. Granny’s menu hadn’t changed much over the past thirty years but she still looked every time, just in case something new had snuck its way onto the list of offerings.

In the end, she decided to have a grilled chicken sandwich and French fries. It was enough to keep Emma from teasing her and they all soon fell into an easy conversation as their food arrived.

By the time their dishes were cleared away, Regina felt quite relaxed. Though she wouldn’t admit it out loud, the dinner had been exactly what she needed for her birthday. She rubbed Henry’s back, smiling at him in gratitude. He must’ve picked it up because the smile he gave her back seemed a bit smug.

Granny approached the table, carrying a red velvet cake with lit candles. She placed it down in front of Regina. “Now, I know you don’t want my staff to sing, but can a few friends sing for you?” she asked.

Regina bit her lip before sighing. “I guess. Just as long as it doesn’t turn out to be the entire diner.”

“Fair enough,” she replied. “But it’s just everyone at this booth. Is that fine?”

“Yes,” Regina conceded. “Just...not so loud.”

Granny rolled her eyes. “Okay. On three. One...two...three…”

The singing wasn’t too bad and Regina found herself cringing only once. It was blissfully short and then Granny was saying: “Make a wish and blow out the candle.”

Surrounded by her smiling family, Regina realized she had no choice. Yet she didn’t know what she was going to wish for. Maybe she could just blow out the candle without making a wish…

You know what you want. What’s the harm in wishing for it? asked a traitorous voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like Tink.

It won’t come true. It can’t come true. I’ll just end up with a broken heart, she argued with herself.

Come on, Regina. You’ve seen the power of wishes. Just believe.

“Regina?. The candle is starting to drip wax over the frosting,” Emma said. “Make a wish and blow.”

Regina glared at her but took a deep breath. She blew out the candle as her wish echoed around her mind:

I wish Robin and Roland would come back to me.

Everyone clapped and Granny picked up the cake. “I’ll go get this cut up and be right back.”

She walked off as Snow pulled something from her bag. It was a small wrapped box with a purple bow on top. “I know you probably didn’t want any gifts, but I found this and knew it was for you.”

Curious, Regina unwrapped it and lifted the lid. Sitting on a bed of cotton was a beautiful tan father with dark brown tips. Her heart beat faster as she picked it up, rolling the feather between her fingers. “Is this…?”

“I think so,” Snow said. “It looks like a feather from an arrow and both David and Hook said it looked like the ones they saw on Robin’s arrows.”

“It must’ve been floating around Storybrooke since Zelena lost it,” Henry said, smiling at her. “And now it’s come back to you.”

Regina smiled, holding the feather to her heart as she looked at Snow. “Thank you. This means a lot to me.”

Granny returned with a tray laden with slices of cake. “Okay, who wants a piece?” she asked.

As the others reached for their slices, Regina tucked the feather inside her purse. Perhaps her wish had come true after all, even if not in the exact way she had meant.

Zelena showed up on her doorstep and few days later, rocking a fussy Peanut in her arms. She had dark circles under her eyes and looked paler than usual. Regina frowned. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“Robyn has been crying all the time,” Zelena said. “I think she’s teething and I’m the one feeling the pain.”

“Trust me, Zelena, your pain is nothing to what she’s experienced. Do you have a teething ring or teething biscuits for her?” Regina asked, taking her niece into her arms.

Zelena frowned, digging through her diaper bag. “I think I have something in here. But I don’t get how a plastic ring is supposed to help her.”

“You’re supposed to put it in the freezer. The cold will soothe her sore gums and give her something to bite on.”

“Oh,” Zelena replied. “They don’t tell you that.”

Regina sighed. “You can always ask for help. No one can parent without it. Trust me.”

“Even an expert like you?” Zelena snapped.

“Trust me, I was no expert when I first adopted Henry,” she replied, bouncing the girl. “I made plenty of mistakes with him.”

“Like not revealing your true self to him?”

That surprised Regina and she gaped at her sister. “What do you mean by that?”

Zelena smirked as she approached. “Your other, better half said she regretted hiding herself from Henry, which was why he pushed her...you...away. She warned me about doing the same thing with Robyn.”

“Is that why you were housing her? Turned Archie into a cricket again?” Regina asked, concerned. “So you could show your daughter how wicked you are?”

“Yes,” Zelena replied, grinning with happiness. “Can you imagine what a pair we would be?”

Fear and disgust filled Regina. And then anger burned inside her. “This is what Robin feared you would do. This is why he didn’t want you to raise her.”

Zelena’s smile dimmed. “Well, he isn’t here, is he?”

“And whose fault is that?” Regina snapped back.

“You can’t keep blaming me for that,” Zelena argued. “Hades threatened you and Robin took the blast. May I remind you I kept Hades from finishing the job?”

“We shouldn’t have been in that position in the first place, Zelena! We warned you that Hades had ulterior motives, that he wasn’t too be trusted. You barricaded yourself and Robyn with him in my office. You didn’t give us much of a choice.”

“You could’ve chosen to trust me,” Zelena yelled back. “You could’ve let me handle Hades.”

Regina shook her head. “The entire town would be in the Underworld if we let you do that.”

“Don’t be dramatic,” her sister said, sneering.

“I don’t think I am,” Regina replied. She looked down at her niece, realizing she had been chasing a damn feather when her last remaining connection to Robin was his sweet daughter. A sweet daughter who was now in danger. “I don’t think I can let you keep her, Zelena.”

The air crackled with tension as the temperature seemed to drop several degrees. “You can’t do that. I’m her mother,” Zelena said.

“I have to consider Robyn’s best interests. Especially since Robin isn’t here to do that,” Regina replied.

Zelena let out a humorless laugh. “Like you actually give a damn. You certainly haven’t since he died.”

“I’ve been busy,” Regina protested weakly, though she knew Zelena was right. She hadn’t paid much attention to Robyn and it almost cost the girl so much.

           “Well, I think that’s been enough,” Zelena said, trying to take Robyn from her aunt’s arms. “It’s time for us to go.”

           Regina took a step back, holding Robyn closer to her chest. “You can leave. Robyn is staying here. With me.”

           “On what grounds?”

           “Where should I begin?” Regina countered. “You’re sharing a house with my evil half, plotting with her and have admitted to me that you hope to make Robyn as wicked and evil as you two.”

           She swore steam came out of her sister’s ears. “You can’t just take her from me! I’m the only parent she has ever known!”

           “That’s a lie and you know it. Robin did everything in his power to take care of this little girl and keep her safe.”

           “Which is why he foisted her off on the fairies and followed Emma down to the Underworld,” Zelena said.

           Regina wanted to pull her sister’s hair out. “We went over that. And at least we made arrangements for her. You just leave her in the cabin while off helping the Queen.”

           “I have that farmhouse charmed and warded to kingdom come. I can hear Robyn cry anywhere in this town and can be by her side with a wave of my hand,” Zelena argued.

           “That’s not good enough, Zelena. Babies need constant attention. She’ll be crawling soon--and then walking. If she’s teething, she’s probably already trying to put things in her mouth. What if she puts the wrong thing in there and you’re not around?” Regina asked.

           Zelena scoffed. “Like you would be any better? You’re always running around with those so-called heroes. What would you do with Robyn?”

           It was a valid question. Regina looked down at her niece, who had fallen asleep despite the argument going on around her, and knew what her answer was in her heart. “I’d limit my help to whatever I could do while keeping an eye on Robyn. And if need be, then I would get her adequate care. I would put her first.”

           “We’ll see,” Zelena snarled. “We’re not done yet, little sister. Not by a long shot.”

           She dropped the diaper bag to the floor and then flicked her wrist, disappearing in a cloud of green smoke. Regina sagged into the nearest chair, still rocking Robyn. She smiled at the baby girl before kissing her forehead. “Don’t worry, Peanut. I’ll keep you safe. Just like your daddy did.”

           Regina adjusted to having a baby in the house again. It was easier with her magic, able to conjure up a nursery and all the supplies she would need. Baby Robyn didn’t seem to notice the change in her caregivers, making Regina feel guilty that she had too many changes in her short life so far. However, she knew it was best that Zelena not keep the baby girl with her. Not if she was reverting to her wicked ways and determined to raise Robyn to be the same.

           She owed it to Robin.

           It was difficult not to rush off with the others when something came up now. Regina often had to hold back, remaining with Peanut while she did research. The baby didn’t seem to mind, enjoying bouncing in her carrier while Regina played with one of her tiny feet. And if Regina was needed, Henry or Belle often stepped in to watch Peanut for a few hours.

           Peanut was also too young to notice that her aunt couldn’t bring herself to call the baby “Robyn” and had resorted to the nickname she had given her hours after her birth. No matter what Regina called her, Peanut lit up at the sound of her voice and would try to reach out for her, wanting a cuddle.

           Regina always obliged.

           “You look happy, Mom,” Henry said one night. They were sitting on the couch together, him watching a movie while she fed a sleepy Peanut.

           “Hmm?” She looked up, noticing her son watching her with a smile on his face. “What?”

           “It’s just since Peanut came, you’ve been happier. Even when you’re frustrated that you can help like you once did,” he explained, moving closer to her.

           Regina paused, thinking it over. “I guess I am. I’ve been so focused on what I lost, I neglected what Robin left behind.”

           He nodded. “I always wondered why you didn’t try to keep her. I couldn’t tell if it was because you were giving Zelena a chance or because she reminded you too much of Robin.”

           “I guess it was both,” Regina admitted. “And then I was so focused on my evil half, I didn’t stop to think about the most innocent person involved in this.”

           “I don’t think the Evil Queen would ever hurt her,” Henry offered. “She may have some questionable parenting beliefs, but she’s a mother at heart. Just like you.”

           She melted at that and kissed her son’s cheek. “Thank you. But the Evil Queen is focused on tearing this family apart and Zelena is borderline neglectful, not fully understanding what a baby needs. I should’ve fought harder for her.”

           Tears sprang to her eyes as she thought of an adorable young boy with an unruly mop of dark curls, sparkling brown eyes and irresistible dimples. “I should’ve fought harder for Roland too.”

           “You didn’t have much of a choice,” Henry assured her. “The Merry Men chose to go back and you had agreed it was best for Roland to stay with those who knew him and Robin best.”

           “I know, but he once asked me if I was his new mommy. Robin and I told him that he could consider me that if he wanted. Because I saw him as another son. And then I allowed him to go away. What kind of mother does that?” She bit back a sob.

           Henry stood and got the tissue box, handing it to her. Regina pulled out a tissue and dabbed at her eyes. “Thank you. And I’m sorry. You’re the kid, I’m the parent. You should be unloading on me, not the other way around.”

           “It’s okay,” he replied. “Besides, I’ll keep that in mind for my next round of teenage angst.”

           She chuckled as someone rang the doorbell. Henry jumped up. “I’ll get it. You focus on Peanut.”

           He left the room and she eased the bottle from between the baby girl’s lips. She brought Peanut to her shoulder, patting her back. A soft burp came from the girl followed by a big one. Peanut then settled down, her little face buried in the crook of Regina’s neck as she hummed softly to the baby.

           “Where’s Regina?” For a moment, she thought she was hallucinating Roland’s sweet voice. Then he appeared in her living room, beaming at her. “Regina!”

           “Roland!” she replied, letting out a little laugh. “My little knight is back.”

           He nodded, climbing onto the couch and hugging her. She wrapped her free arm around him, enjoying the feeling of having both of Robin’s children in her arms.

           It felt perfect.

           “Regina,” Little John said, appearing in her living room. He clutched his hat in his hands as he watched her.

           She smiled at him. “Hello, Little John. I’m surprised to see you here.”

           “I’m sure,” he replied, looking nervous. “We’ve been trying to get back here almost from the moment we got back to the Enchanted Forest. It took some time to find a way back, though.”

           “Why?” she asked, confused. Were things so bad in the Enchanted Forest that they were forced to come back?

           “Because I missed you,” Roland replied, leaning against her shoulder. “I wanted to come back to you.”

           She bit back a sob as she kissed his forehead. “I’m very glad to have you back.”

           “I’m sorry,” Little John said. “I shouldn’t have taken him from you.”

           “You had every right to. I’m sure Robin would’ve wanted him with you. You’ve known him since he was a baby,” Regina replied. “Though I do wish you had stayed here in Storybrooke at least.”

           He nodded. “A few us have come back. We’re staying at Granny’s so we’re close to Roland.”

           “You mean…” Her question died on her tongue.

           Little John knew what she wanted to ask. “Yes, Roland is going to live with you. It’s what he wants.”

           “Can I, Regina?” he asked, still leaning against her.

           She kissed his head. “Of course you can, sweetheart.”

           Little John said good night to Roland and assured him that he was just at Granny’s. Roland, though, was happy being back with Regina and he played with his little sister as Henry showed the older man out.

           Henry returned, sitting down next to his mother. “Looks like we have a full house again,” he said with a smile.

           “We do,” she replied, feeling her cheeks start to hurt from how big she was smiling. It fell a little as she grew concerned. “Are you okay with that?”

           “Of course. This house has always been too big for just the two of us,” he replied, grinning. He laid his head on her shoulder now that Peanut was resting against her breasts. Regina just sat there, enjoying having all her children home safe and sound.

           Perhaps the feather wasn’t her wish being answered, but this--having Robin’s children with her, having that bit of his soul always by her side once again.

           As always, Valentine’s Day snuck up on her. She didn’t realize what day it was until she woke to find Peanut was not in her crib. Fighting her rising panic, Regina rushed downstairs to make sure Henry had taken the baby and not Zelena, despite all the wards and charms placed around the house to prevent that. Relief flooded through her when she saw Peanut sitting in her carrier, kicking her feet as Henry and Roland placed some pancakes on a plate.

           “What is going on here?” she asked, hands on her hips.

           Roland ran up to her, holding out a red paper heart. “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

           “Oh,” she said, taking the heart with a smile. “Thank you so much.”

           “Henry and I made breakfast while Peanut watched. Since she can’t do much as baby,” he continued, taking Regina’s hand and leading her over to the table.

           They ate their pancakes as Roland chatted about his upcoming day at school. He loved going there and interacting with the other kids. And he loved that he was learning how to read, just like Henry.

           When they were done, Henry helped clean up as Roland entertained his sister. Regina kissed her eldest son’s cheek. “This was sweet. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said. “I’m taking Violet out tonight and so I knew I wouldn’t be home for dinner. I wanted to do something special for you.”

Though it pained her to think of her little prince all grown up and going on dates, Regina hugged him. “I love you, Henry.”

“I love you too, Mom.” He then stepped away and held out his hand to Roland. “You ready for school?”          

Roland nodded before hurrying over to her. He threw his arms around her waist, hugging her tightly. “I love you, Mom.”

Her heart skipped a beat and she crouched down to hug him tighter. She ran her fingers through his curls. “I love you, too. Have a good day at school.”

“I will.” He kissed her cheek before running after Henry so he could get his coat and backpack.

Once she saw her two boys onto the bus, Regina turned to Peanut as she closed the door. The baby girl gnawed on a teething biscuit and she kissed her forehead, smelling the baby shampoo she used during the girl’s bath the night before. Regina had never been one to celebrate Valentine’s Day, usually just getting handmade Valentines and then a small dinner with Henry. Even when she had Robin, there was always some crisis that had prevented them from celebrating. She had always thought there would be another year, which seemed so foolish in hindsight. Now, though, with her two boys and the sweetest baby ever, Regina felt a bit more festive than usual.

“What do you say to an Auntie and Me day?” she asked the baby, holding her phone. “You and me going to the park, maybe that parent and me swimming class…?”

Peanut clapped and Regina called her assistant, telling her to hold all her calls and to inform everyone she was taking a personal day. “Spending Valentine’s day with a special someone?” her assistant asked.

“I am,” Regina replied, bouncing Peanut. She let out a happy gurgle. “You go spend it with someone special too.”

“Thank you, Madame Mayor. Have Valentine’s Day,” the woman said before hanging up.

Regina set down the phone and started to head to Peanut’s nursery. “Let’s go get ready for our special day, hmm?”

The baby laughed in response.

Peanut took to the water like a fish. When the session ended, Regina had difficulty getting her out of the pool. She kept screaming and trying to squirm out of her arms to get back in. Regina had to hold her tight, trying to soothe her. “We’ll come back, baby girl,” she whispered. “I promise.”

Her words did little to calm Peanut, who fought her as Regina took off her little bathing suit and put her in regular clothes again. She fussed all the way to the car and let out little cries of indignation until Regina pulled into the park. Once she saw the trees, the girl brightened and she kicked her legs as Regina took her out of the car seat. Chuckling, Regina held Peanut close. “You really are your father’s daughter, aren’t you?”

She put Peanut in the stroller and they went for a walk through the woods. By the time they got back to the car, Peanut was sound asleep and it was time to pick up Roland from school.

Once back at the mansion, Regina unclicked the carrier from the base in order not to wake Peanut. She let Roland in and he stopped short, pointing to the floor. “Mom, what’s that?”

“What’s what?” she asked before following his finger. A red rose petal lay on the floor and as she scanned the area, she saw a trail of them leading to her dining room. Her brow furrowed in confusion, unsure who would do this and coming up with only one solution:

Queenie wanted to mess with her.

She pressed her finger to her lips and motioned for Roland to follow her to the living room. Regina put down Peanut and then had him sit next to the carrier on the couch. “I need you to stay with your sister, okay?” she asked in a whisper.

“Okay,” he whispered back, placing a hand on Peanut’s leg. “I’ll keep her safe, Mom.”

Regina kissed his forehead before following the rose petals, conjuring up a fireball as she entered the dining room. It died out, though, as she took in the man laying out her fine china: Tall, with thick blond hair that was graying at the temples, and matching blond scruff that felt wonderful against her skin. Bright blue eyes that always seemed to be able to look right into her heart and soul. Dark green sweater over a white shirt paired with black pants.

It was impossible. He couldn’t be there, in her house. Which meant only one thing…

“How dare you?” Anger and grief bubbled up and she almost screamed in a primal rage.

He looked up, blue eyes wide in surprise. “Regina! I didn’t hear you come in…”

She lunged at him, gripping his sweater in her fists and giving him a shake. “How dare you! This is too far, even for you.”

“Regina, I don’t understand…” He sounded so confused and somewhat scared but she didn’t care.

Queenie was an excellent actress.

“Drop the act, lose the glamor spell,” she snarled. “Now is not the time for your games. Not this one, not today.”

Strong arms gripped her shoulders and he pushed her back a bit, blue eyes looking into hers. “Regina, I don’t know who you think I am, but I can assure you it’s me. Robin.”

“Robin’s dead,” she sobbed. “Don’t play with my head and my heart. Please.”

“I was dead. I know that. I remember that. But I’m not anymore. Something brought me back, Regina,” he said. “I’m here now and this is true.”

Even those familiar words, so reassuring before the Curse of Shattered Sight, now only brought more pain. She couldn’t trust them. Queenie had all her memories and would know everything Robin had ever said to her. Tears streamed down her cheeks harder.

Perhaps Queenie finally found the way to break her.

“Is this because I took Robyn from Zelena?” she asked between sobs. “Are you trying to punish me on her behalf?”

He raised a hand to cup her cheek. “I know a way to prove I am who I say I am. Okay?”

Before she could protest, he pressed his lips to hers. Her heart skipped a beat and the familiar fire ignited low inside her. Queenie could take on his appearance, mimic his mannerisms, recreate his voice and parrot back his words, but she could never kiss like him. Nor would she smell of forest, of pine and fresh air.

This was real.

This was true.

Robin was alive.

She broke the kiss, still crying but for a whole new reason. Cupping his cheek, she smiled. “You’re back.”

“I am,” he said before furrowing his brow in confusion. “Who did you think I was? And why would that person be avenging Zelena?”

“It’s a long story,” she replied with a chuckle before kissing him again. “I still can’t believe you’re here. How?”

He shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. The last thing I remember is your face right after taking the hit from the crystal. And then I was standing in the middle of the woods. It was clear seasons had passed and I rushed back to where I thought my Merry Men had made camp.”

“They went back to the Enchanted Forest. A few have come back…”

“I know,” he said. “I found Little John. He told me about what had happened and how much time had passed.”

She nodded before frowning. “How long have you been back?”

“Not long,” he assured her. “Maybe a few days. When I realized Valentine’s Day was so close, I plotted the perfect way to reveal myself to you. Apparently, there are other circumstances I probably should’ve been aware of.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “And I’ll tell you all about it later. First, I think there are two other people who will be happy to see you.”

Robin grinned, nodding. “Roland and Carina.”

“Carina?” Regina tilted her head. “You had a name for her?”

“Yes. I thought of it while in the Underworld. I was staring up at the sky, wishing there were stars. And then I thought of the constellations, recalling one called Carina. I know it’s part of a ship but I remembered hearing that as a name, it meant ‘beloved,’” he explained. “And I thought about the awful circumstances that resulted in my daughter, that she would have that and who her mother was hanging over her. I wanted her to always know that she is loved and wanted.”

Fresh tears streamed down Regina’s cheeks. “Zelena named her Robyn after you...but I could never call her that. I nicknamed her Peanut.”

He chuckled. “While that’s a cute nickname and I’m honored my name was passed down to her, I think she should have her own identity. And I’m biased toward Carina.”

“Me too,” she agreed, taking his hand. “Come on. Let’s go share her new name with her.”

They entered the living room together. Roland looked up from where he was entertaining Peanut with a rattle, eyes widening when he saw who was with Regina. He jumped up and raced into Robin’s arms with a joyful shout of “Papa!”

Robin held him close, tears now streaming down his face as he assured his son he was alive and wasn’t going anywhere. As he did that, Regina took Peanut from her carrier and brought her over to her father. She was quickly rechristened Carina and nestled in his arm as he leaned forward to kiss Regina.

Though Henry was missing, out with Violet, Regina still felt like her family was whole again.

That night, Regina put Roland and Carina to bed after a Valentine’s dinner of lasagna and wine. As she stepped out of Roland’s room, she heard soft music coming from her bedroom and headed down there. The lights were dimmed and Robin had placed several candles around her room, little flames flickering to cast an alluring glow.

She closed the door as he held out his hand, looking a bit sheepish. “Granny found Red’s old iPod and let me borrow it, so the music may not be our tastes, but I thought it appropriate…”

Listening, she heard Christina Perri’s voice singing about loving someone for a thousand years and she smiled, nodding. “I’ve heard this song,” she said. “I guess it is appropriate.”

Taking his hand, she let him pull her close and sway her in time to the music. She rested her forehead to his with a small smile. “I’m so glad you came back to me.”

“Me too,” he whispered. “Though I really am not sure how.”

She chuckled. “I made a wish. On my birthday. I wanted you and Roland to come back to me. And now you have.”

Robin tucked her hair behind her ear. “I have. And I think after everything we’ve been through, you’ll understand why I can’t promise you that I’ll never go away again. Because if I had to do it all over again, Regina, I would step in front of that beam for you without a second thought.”

“I know,” she said, the same dread and sorrow building in her as she thought of Robin’s lifeless body on the floor of her office.

He tilted her chin up so her eyes met his, shining with love through the dim candlelight. “But I also like to think that the universe keeps trying to make sure we end up together. So I promise to stay by your side for as long as the universe allows me the privilege to stay there.”

“I promise to do the same,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. “And before the universe decides to fuck me over again, I just want to say I love you. I realized I never said it…”

Robin pressed his finger to her lips. “You may have never said it, but I knew it. Actions speak louder than words. So do your eyes.”

She kissed him, nibbling his lower lip to get him to open his mouth to her. He did so easily and her tongue swept his mouth as she started to unbutton his shirt. Robin tugged at her shirt as well, sensing where she was heading with this.

They broke the kiss so he could pull the shirt over her head, depositing it on the floor with his own. Robin kissed her neck as he removed her bra, warm hands cupping her breasts once they were free. She busied herself with undoing his pants before she lost all conscious thought and just surrendered to the fire building inside her as Robin sucked at a pressure point.

Regina kicked away her skirt as he stepped out of his pants, trying to keep his hands on her at the same time. They fell onto her bed together, now both in their underwear. He pushed himself up on his elbow, eyes looking over her body as his hands roamed it. “As beautiful as I remember,” he breathed.

“You’re just as I remembered,” she replied, taking in his toned chest and the muscles built up after years of shooting arrows. “And you’re all mine.”

“Absolutely.” He rolled over, hovering over her as he grinned down at her. “Always.”

She swallowed, pulling him down by his neck to crash their lips together again. He was already hard against her and she could feel her panties growing wetter despite no attention paid lower than her breasts yet. Heat coiled low inside her, waiting for a release.

Robin kissed his way down her neck and then in the valley between her breasts. As he went lower, she writhed in anticipation, enjoying the feel of his scruff dragging across her skin again. She moaned as his tongue dipped into her navel, sending a teasing jolt to her core.

He peeled her panties away, tongue flicking out to taste and tease her before he removed the garment completely. Robin slid his hands up her legs, urging them further apart as he slid between them. She bent her knees as she drew up her legs and he gave a broad lick to her sex, making her whine out his name. It made him chuckle before he continued to suck and lap at her clit.

Regina’s toes curled and she grabbed at her blanket, her hips rising up to meet Robin’s tongue. Sweat began to trickle down her face and she closed her eyes as she felt the coil tighten as she continued to moan, babbling nonsense.

A finger slowly entered her and she almost shouted in frustration. Robin was teasing her, tormenting her, making her feel everything and forcing her to wait for the release her body was now trembling for. Her back arched as he curled the finger, brushing against her g-spot before it pulled out again.

His lips left her clit and she opened her eyes, meeting his as he raised his head. “Are you close, lovely?” he asked, voice husky. She could only nod, not trusting her own voice to work. He chuckled. “Good.”

She watched as he ducked his head down again, his tongue flicking at her clit as he inserted two fingers this time. Regina cried out, feeling her walls tighten around them. He pumped them slowly, lips closing around her overly sensitive nub again. Rational thought fled her mind and she careened over, yelling his name as she came.

Robin let her ride out her orgasm on his fingers, bringing her down. She lay there, trying to catch her breath as he shucked his own boxers. He then lay beside her, kissing her damp hair. “I’m so glad I can hear those sounds again,” he said.

She hummed, wrapping her fingers around his cock and she began to pump lazily. He was already rock hard in her grasp and her thumb brushed the precum already leaking from his tip. But neither was rushed to do much about it, enjoying kissing each other as she tasted herself on his tongue.

He nuzzled her as she tried not to cry again. “I’m so scared this is just a really, really good dream,” she admitted. “And that if we fall asleep, I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone.”

“Understandable. I felt the same way the first few nights after we came back from New York,” he murmured.

Regina paused. “You did?”

He nodded. “I would wake up several times, reassuring myself I was back here, with you, and not still miles away.”

“I used to do the same then too,” she confessed. “And I feel like I have to do that again.”

“One day, maybe we’ll be able to fall asleep and trust that the other will be there when we wake up.” He kissed her forehead.

She let out humorless chuckle. “We have such fucked up lives.”

“Well,” he said, smiling, “no one can accuse us of being boring.”

This time, her laugh was sincere as she curled closer to Robin. He wrapped his arm around her and hoisted her on top of him as she let out a little squeak. “What are you doing?”

“I want to see you,” he replied. “All of you.”

She smiled, rising up to straddle him. Her fingers toyed with his nipples as his eyes roamed her body with unhidden lust. “Like this?” she asked, purring.

He swallowed as she dragged her folds over his cock, letting him feel how wet she still was. She took his hands, bringing them up to her breasts. “What do you want?”

“You,” he croaked before licking his lips. “I want to be inside you. Please.”

She grinned as his thumbs flicked her nipples. “Well, I think that can be arranged.”

He groaned as she sank down onto his cock, letting him fill her completely. She reached down to clutch at his shoulders, taking a few deep breaths as she reacquainted herself to the feeling of him inside her. Robin was patient, massaging her breasts as he waited for her to move again.

After a few minutes, she began to move, letting him fill her over and over as she picked up a fast pace. She wasn’t going to draw this out like he had earlier. Not with the fear that this could all be taken from her at any moment. And as good as this was, as it felt, she wanted to spend as much time curled up in his arms as possible.

“Regina,” he moaned, the sweetest sound she had heard since Roland called her mom. “Harder.”

“You sure?” she asked, panting already.

He groaned, hands sliding from her breasts to her hips as he met her with his own thrusts. “Yes, please.”

Regina picked up her speed, feeling herself climbing to that high again. She moaned, knowing she was close and hoping to take him over with her. “Come with me,” she panted.

Sitting up, he kissed her as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He trailed wet open kisses down her neck as stars exploded before her eyes. She came again with his name on her lips, feeling him spill into her only a few moments later.

They collapsed back onto the mattress, Regina laying on top of Robin. Her ear was pressed to his chest, his heart racing under it. It assured her that he was truly alive and it soothed her.

“I look forward to a lifetime of this,” he said, kissing the top her head.

“Mind-blowing sex?”

He chuckled. “Well, yes. But I meant lying here with you in my arms.”

“Oh,” she replied, smiling as she played with his chest hair. “I guess I look forward to that too.”

“You don’t sound too sure about that.”

“I’m still not sure this isn’t some wonderful dream, remember?” She sighed, closing her eyes. “I’m trying to remain cautiously optimistic.”

Robin laughed. “I like that. Cautiously optimistic.”

Sleep tugged at her and she rolled off him, landing on her side of the bed. “We should get under the covers,” she murmured.

“Okay,” he said, kissing the back of her neck. “I’ve got it.”

He wrapped them in the blankets and spoon against her. “Good night, Regina.”

“Good night, Robin,” she replied. “I hope I see you in the morning.”

“You will,” he promised, arms tightening around her. “You will.”

Regina woke up the next morning to soft kisses being trailed along her shoulder, up her neck and then someone nipping at her ear. “Good morning, lovely,” Robin said, voice hoarse from sleep.

She rolled over, smiling as she saw him lying next to her. The sun backlit him, casting a beautiful glow around him as she rubbed his cheek. “Good morning,” she replied.

“I told you I would be here.” He grinned.

“Yes, you did.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m so glad you are.”

Robin kissed her. “Me too.”

She continued to kiss him, pulling on top of her. As his lips found her pressure point again, Regina wondered how he was going to top this Valentine’s Day next year.

She couldn’t wait to find out.