people love to fearmonger about transitioning because "what if you regret it?"
but like. Heres the thing with that.
I was around 17 when I came out to my mother as a transgender man. At the time it was truly how I felt; I felt like masculinity was the fit for me, it made me more comfortable in my own skin, and femininity had always made me more uncomfortable than not. I was already out to my friends when I came out to my mother, so I had confirmation that I (at the time) preferred masculine pronouns and forms of address, names, and etc. I preferred being perceived as a man. So I transitioned.
I spent a good few years as a transgender man. Got on testosterone at age 18 (after trying since. Literally coming out to my mom. It took 16 months to get a Testosterone prescription. Don't let them lie to you. Its not 'easy' or 'fast'). Enjoyed being on testosterone for several years. Had a great time.
And then, when I was around. Eh. 21 or so? I started becoming more comfortable with my femininity, something 17 year old me never saw coming. And I identified far less strongly with masculinity and started identifying more neutral/fluid, with a sprinkling of fem, went off T, stopped buying exclusively men's clothes, etc.
Does this mean I regret my initial transition or identifying as a transgender man for as long as I did?
ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT
I think people very easily forget you can make a choice you wouldn't repeat without 'regretting it' per se. Would I go on testosterone again? No. Do i wish I hadn't when I did? ALSO NO.
I doubt I would've ever learned so much about myself or my identity or about finding comfort in my own flesh if I hadn't spent that time identifying the way I did. I wasnt miserable or upset with the choice I made at any point, even the point when I realized maybe I didnt actually identify that way.
It was just another part of my journey to become whoever Im truly supposed to be.
I dont know. Maybe im weird or odd. But it was, if nothing else, a fantastic opportunity to get more in touch with myself. I dont think I'll ever regret that, no matter how many transphobes try to tell me I've mutilated myself beyond repair
Jealous of pazzi cause my best friend of years (who I have an undying crush on… trust I’ve tired to get rid of it) doesn’t like girls (that I know of).
Even though she was super physically affectionate with me when she’s touch adverse. Like kiss on the forehead type shit. Which made me go crazy. Make lists type of crazy.
Anyways… therefore I will never get to experience loving someone throughout childhood and into adulthood.
My final hope is having some type of When Harry Met Sally type shit in adulthood.
If you do these things we cant be friends (even if no one asked):
Gossip in a "shes so ugly way" and not "her actions are so ugly" way
Only talk about boys/gossip, literally having no other personality other than that
Constantly try to one up others/belittling other peoples work, ESPECIALLY if doing this to make yourself look good in front of someone else
Always venting to others but never letting them vent to you
Being rude to others as a "joke" but getting mad when they do the same
More of a personal peeve—but being an npc. Having no intrests, no hobbies, no music taste, like tf are meant to talk about?
Just being a bully/bigot in general. I try to be respectful of others beliefs but when you use things like, for example religion, to be rude to a queer person. No one said you need to support them, but they didnt say you need to be mean to them either
Just constantly being pessimistic/negative. Yes, i know we all have our moments—my own vents on here are proof of that. And i do try to be understanding and all that but please, get help if you really do need it. I can be a shoulder to lean on but please dont expect me to be the thing holding you up.
this is what it's like to be a blur fan in the US:
when someone asks you what your favorite band is, and you respond with "blur" the person will usually respond with either, "oh yeah, woohoo! love that woohoo song! song 2 is great!" or they'll go, "huh??"
if they go, "huh?" you'll have to respond with "they're that band that made the song that goes woohoo!" and they'll go, "oh, that song."
nobody is interested in anything except for the funny woohoo song.
and then your friends will make fun of you for loving British men and their British music.
Watching Brittany’s channel has made everything all that more simple for me. Watching Sammy and Taylor I felt like, even though they hadn’t said there never needed to be a waiting period or action toward my goal since it’s already mine, they HAD talked about robotic affirmations to “get you closer to your goal”/“get your subconscious mind & core thoughts used to your new life”. And yes, they HAD said that everyone has different experiences and ways to go about manifesting but i always felt a bit lost when it came to really dissecting every bit about their takes and I lowkey always had questions coming out of their videos?
Needless to say, @ IAMBrittany on YT—and how she really goes into each section in her videos has really helped my mind comprehend myself being a source.
Even in that thought, it makes me think I’m overconsuming manifestation content but me, living the human experience through this character literally just want to learn about a bunch of different takes and that is completely valid
Fumiko's thoughts for the night: Why I felt the need to separate our sniper duo for this au
TLDR: I just don't want Hayami to be overshadowed by Chiba. I want them to stand out among the strongest without being compared to each other just because they're both long-ranged fighters with different expertise.
So what better solution than to have them be on different ranks? From F-Rank up to A-Rank, each rank has their own list of strongest Regulars. If Hayami can pave her way onto becoming one of the strongest E-Rank Regulars despite being a Spear Bearer (and Chiba with D-Rank Regulars), wouldn't that make them both equally amazing then, regardless of how far they have climbed so far?
Note: Ranks are determined by how far a Regular has climbed the Tower.
Just imagine: the two of them separately being one of the main talks among their respective Ranks, being rightfully praised and admired for their skills and strengths, without the possibility of being compared to each other.
Because I don't know about y'all, while the idea of completing each other is definitely reassuring, you wouldn't help but to feel even at least inferior when hearing your partner being constantly praised for the skills that you lacked in, no matter how hard you try to be happy and proud of them. (And I wouldn't be surprised if Hayami was really on the receiving end of this, considering that Chiba's speciality in sniping does make him seem more important for the sniper role compared to her 😔).
And not to mention that the use of spears would really allow Hayami's skills to shine through without being basically ignored. I think separating them and have their own ranks to fight through would really do them both justice.
Of course I'm not cruel enough to completely separate them, even when it's just training 😭. That's why I've decided to have Team END and Team DREAM to reside together on Floor 30th - having their own residence to rest at, train at, and etc. So like when both teams are preparing for their respective Floor Tests, Chiba and Hayami would then train together, exchanging tips and advices as they have different specialties and experiences that they can surely learn from each other.
Okay, so I have this question on my mind and I might need some help or opinions because I’m still a lil rookie on here.
Since I’m basically multi fandom. I was thinking for a few about if I should make another tumblr blog? I mean originally this Tumblr blog was going to be related to adorkable penguins.
there’s even some stuff that I can’t post because it would be so outta bound, and make absolutely no sense (like talking about frame data or posting grim/spooky fan/artwork) which kinda makes me feel off.
I kinda wish tumblr had folders like Da, but they don’t, and unless they have their own equivalent to it then I have no clue.
Is that normal to do though? Make another Tumblr blog? Actually heaven knows I’d end up with 3-4 blogs in total from how much content I produce from my little noggin of a brain.
Also unrelated-sorta. I really just wanna quit Da (DeviantArt) because I don’t like the format anymore, and I tried my best to get use to it, but it’s really frustrating. They took away our profile privileges I tell ya 😢 it’s sad because I joined da in late 2013 or early 2014 when I was super young, and now everyone I knew from there left because of eclipse format. Although, it’s also a good thing because I found a ton of communities here.
