#loxapine

[souvlakic]

[satanspersonal666]

Fell asleep at 8:30am after laying in bed all night. And I have nothing caffeinated to help me get through today. CVS told me they ordered my new med yesterday and it would be in today but they still don't have it. If I go one more day without any antipsychotic I might kill myself. Also- has anyone taken loxapine? I'm hoping it will help

[schizophelia]

July 4th, 2018: Doctor’s Appointment: Journal

I met with my psychiatrist today. I was so anxious because I saw a government agent sitting across from me in the hospital waiting area and I was freaking out internally. I also saw Yuki during our appointment, but I didn’t tell him that. He just asked me why my legs were bouncing a lot... “I’m anxious,” I told him. It was true.

Because of the side effects of the Rexulti, we’re switching antipsychotics again. We’re going to try Loxapine again. It helped last time, but made me really tired. He was debating Chlorpromazine or another, older, antipsychotic. But he worried about the side effects and some of them aren’t even available anymore. I hope the Loxapine is the answer because we’ve already tried so many antipsychotics and we’re both extremely tired. Some have worked, some worked and stopped working, and some didn’t even work at all. So this trial and error thing is sickening. I admitted to him that the Invega was working better than the Rexulti, but he said he didn’t want me on the Invega again because of the weight gain issue. But, he said he was glad I have lost a little bit of weight since stopping the Invega a month ago.

On the medication piece, we’re keeping the Fetzima at 120mg. He asked me if it was working still. I said “yes.” My mood is stable for once. He’s going to register me for the Fetzima program so I get 120mg capsules mailed to me instead of getting boxes and boxes of samples every month from the hospital. He goes through so many Fetzima samples with me because I take 80mg capsules with 20mg (x2)/ 40mg capsules from the starter packs. It’s really annoying to not have them in a bottle. But, my benefits doesn’t cover it and my pharmacy doesn’t even have it because it’s a newer antidepressant. Sigh. Oh well. At least it’s working for now.

I mentioned the prophecy and The Collision to him. He “seemed” interested to know more. I put that in quotes because he could be faking interest. I find it hard to read him. I can’t really explain it well to him and I knew I couldn’t explain it well in person so I had typed out things in a word document and printed it for him to read. He probably won’t understand, but that’s okay. At least I tried. 

I’m really worried about my best friend again. Her antidepressant isn’t really working so her doctor increased her dose to the maximum. She’s in summer school in college and I worry because she said she’s not coping with the work; that she’s sleeping a lot. I love her a lot. She lived with me for a couple years and we were really close. I just worry. I care about her a lot. I want her to be okay. She said she is tired of everything and that makes me sad to see her struggling that much. I hope she passes all her classes this summer. She starts school again in September. So she doesn’t really have much of a break.

Speaking of school, my doctor asked if I was still going. I said “yes.” He asked me how I was going to manage. I have no idea. Absolutely no fucking idea. He hasn’t even gotten me a new doctor yet and I don’t think he’s going to. He didn’t even mention trying to find a new doctor for me in the city and I really am going to need the support of a team in the city. I won’t be able to keep travelling 2+ hours to meet with him once a month and get meds from my regular pharmacy. I’m going to need to start everything over. If school made my friend worse, imagine what it’s going to do to me.... 

My biggest fear about university is falling backwards so bad that I end up in a different city than the one I’m supposed to go to school in. The only psychiatric unit in the city where my school is located is privatized with 3 beds covered by the provincial health plan and the waiting lists to get there are huge. So if I did relapse badly from the stress of school, I might end up in a different city and that’s scary. Whenever I started a job or took on too much in school, the pressure made me lose progress. That’s what I’m worried about now. I’m not excited for school. I’m worried. I want to be able to succeed and get my degree in 4 years. But in my current state, it doesn’t seem like I will. I only have 1 more visit with my doctor to get the medication piece under control before school starts. 

My parents are kind of angry about the medication thing. My dad especially because he had to drive to a different town where our pharmacy is located instead of using a one in the town where my appointment was . He just wanted to go home after my appointment and I understand that too. But I’m supposed to start the Loxapine tomorrow and I needed it because of that. And I didn’t want to go to a different pharmacy where they don’t know me or my family. Because if I need a refill, I’d have to go to that specific pharmacy and the town where he wanted me to get the Loxapine is 40 minutes away. Does this make sense? Sorry if it doesn’t.

One final note: he didn’t add Temazepam to the script. But, with the Loxapine at bedtime, I might not need it anymore. We’ll see... if my sleeping is messed up still with the Loxapine I’ll ask him to write a new script for the Temazepam. But tomorrow night I’m going to try to go without the Temazepam.

I think that’s all I wanted to say.

Meds:

Rexulti 2mg (Discontinue Rexulti)(Start Loxapine 10mg x2 daily July 5th, 2018) Fetzima 120mg Temazepam 30mg

[schizophelia]

I saw my doctor today.

He said to take the Loxapine twice a day instead of a PRN. The Clozapine remained the same.

My ACTT team worker met me there so that was good.

I see him again March 31st

[schizophelia]

November 23, 2022: Psychiatrist Appointment

Here’s how it went

He increased my Lamotrigine and added a small dose of Loxapine

He said my Clozaril levels were good.

He said I’m experiencing psychosis. He said that’s why I need meds. He said the psychologist did testing and it’s hard to fake the results so he read that it said schizophrenia. He said it’s definitely psychosis though.

He mentioned CBTp but said it’s mostly in the cities. And therapy is expensive.

[synapsepop]

Day 1

I'm feeling more energy that I ever have... or at least since starting atypical antipsychotics

Is this the power of the "typical"?

[schizophelia]

No More Loxapine :(

Early yesterday morning (Sunday) I was having extrapyramidal symptoms from the Loxapine. I was so worried that it was tardive dyskinesia so I didn't take it. My body was literally having these uncontrollable jerking movements. My last dose of it was Saturday at 8pm. It's Monday now. The jerking has mostly gone now but that was horrible. Now I'm not doing well right now. I'm struggling with the voices and the "delusions," "hallucinations," and paranoia. Again.

I'm calling my doctor's secretary to see if I can make my appointment as soon as possible before it gets too out of hand. Again.

[schizophelia]

I'm doing so well! I feel so fucking happy!!! So happy!! Guys!!! Have you heard yet!!!??? I'm HAPPY!!! It's great!

I feel wonderful and calm. I can actually read a book without the voices distracting me too much. They are there, but not as bad. I don't feel as plagued by my thoughts. Things are making more sense. I feel like this is a step in the right direction.

I am still on the lowest dose of Loxapine so if something bad happens there is always room for an increase. But for now: HAPPY!!!!