Death Note Spoilers!!
if you (somehow) havent watched death note and you are avoiding spoilers, best leave this post now cos im gonna be talking about the deaths
so i have a few of the sad soundtracks from death note saved on my 'grieving playlist' and i was listening to them last night because i wanted to break my own heart apparently? and here's what some of them make me think about!
Dirge - this one is fairly obvious as it plays when Naomi Misora dies, but it's more than that. When I hear this soundtrack, I think about how she had no idea what was coming her way. I think about how she was so intelligent and cautious and would have been a perfect addition to the taskforce, and I think about how young she was and how much life she had left that was taken from her. I think about how Aizawa walked right past her in the last moments of her life.
Also, of course, Raye Penber. Even after the investigation was complete, did anyone go back and think about the bus hijacking? about whether or not he came into contact with Light? Did anybody look back on the footage of him dying and think "I wonder if he saw Light in the last moments of his death"?
Requiem - L. Just L. He is my favourite character in the series so this one is pretty emotional for me but it's not just favouritism it is a little. Anyway, the fact that he knew he was going to die. You can't convince me he didn't - like, I'm sure he was clinging on to hope that he could solve the case but he also felt it slipping through his fingers. He knew but he still persevered in his mission because he knew he had to. Also, Watari. And the way L's voice shook when he died. He knew what was coming, but he also felt the shock of Watari dying. More than that - I honestly think he did so well with the Kira case considering he had no knowledge of the notebook. And his whole death episode, just- my heart.
Rem's Theme - Obviously Rem!! (I'm gonna use they/them pronouns for Rem because of the difference between manga and anime). Their dedication and feelings for Misa, the way they are so fully ready to kill for her even though they know what will happen if they do. Their protective nature. They are everything to me. Despite L being my favourite character, and Rem killing him, I don't hate them at all!! In fact, I don't put any blame on them for L's death. Their death is one of the most saddest ones. One of the comments on one of the youtube videos of this song is that this soundtrack sounds so gentle, slow and sad - exactly like Rem's story. This soundtrack is my favourite sad one in this show.
Also, added on to that. Misa. Poor Misa. Now, I love her as a villain and an innocent woman and I know she asked for it and knew exactly what she was getting into when she started something with Light, but I still think about how wonderful she could have been without him. And I think about how twisted and confused her psyche must have been!! She had the death note and the eyes, she lost her memories, she was told about her memories, she fully gained them back again and then she lost them again! She clearly wanted to be a "normal wife", as she stated herself and at that point, when she lost her memories for a second time, was she aware that Light had been using her? Or was she confused on why the guy she loves so, so much was treating her with boredom and contempt? Could she have had a better life without him? I think so. I just think she didn't know it.
Death Image - This one is one of the most heart breaking for me so I can't listen to it much 😭 When I hear this one, I think about a broken family. A traumatised, young daughter, a tired, over-worked and then dead father, a mother in absolute pieces who has no idea what to do now, and a cold, killing monster of a son who barely seems to care (although I believe, deep down, the part of him that was still Light Yagami, did care, but not enough to stop).
I also think about Mello and Matt and the ultimate sacrifices they made to help solve the case - and I think about how Near might have felt about it, about their deaths, about being kind of alone now (not that I think he ever minded being alone, but I mean ALONE alone).
Wedy and Aiber - people with full lives who could have lived happily.
All of those people. My heart.
L's Past - It has L in the title but I think about Light Yagami. I don't mean Kira because, despite them being the same person, they are also separate. I mourn for the person he could have been, the friendship he could have had with L, the family he could have supported and loved and the innocent, good man he could have been. He caused his own destruction and he ripped through every person in his path, knowingly or not. If his eyes had slipped right through the notebook, if he decided not to pick it up, if somebody else picked it up instead, if he could only have put it right back down, he could have been so good. But he didn't. He picked up the notebook and he wrote that first name down. And that was his fate sealed right there.
I hope you enjoyed this yapping session about death note and the way these soundtracks have me in a chokehold. I have happier ones I like but you know sadness is addictive, isn't it?