I don't feel welcome in my local Quaker meeting anymore, not through any fault of theirs particularly, but just because I am unable to sit in silence and hold peace as I used to be. They are a wonderful group, but they have not been able to understand and accept my tourettes and seizures etc. As part of me and as unavoidable even when I am worshipping. It sucks. I miss the stillness and peace so much, and I feel almost like I'll never find it again. Even my expressions of autistic joy, and quiet stimming (which have always been part of my expression of community, communication, and self especially in worship) aren't acceptable there, because it's not the way they do things. This is not explicitly said, but judgemental looks and words hurt. I miss being able to participate in meeting and feel safe and welcomed.