#lyrishadow

[lyrishadow]

Fictober 1

Prompt 1: “I Chose you."

Fandom: Mass Effect

Title: Choice

Pairing: Rebel Shepard/Kaidan Alenko

Rating: PG

Warnings/Tags: Post Virmire

Posted on Ao3

CHOICE

It was dark inside the Commander's quarters when Kaidan finally caught up to her, she was curled up in a seat staring at the wall in front of her.

"Shepard?" He called softly and when she didn't reply he moved further into the room.

Virmire had been hell. He had made it worse the way he responded in the debrief.

"Rebel?"

"Kaidan. Was I wrong?"

"Reb, I….."

"I wanted to save both of you." She muttered. That was when he heard the sound of the bottle she had been drinking from hit the wall with force and her strangled cry "Dammit."

"Why?" Kaidan finally asked after a long silence.

"Why am I so slow? Why did I fail as your Commander?"

"No." He paused, uncertainty hanging in the air between them. "Why did you save me?"

"A thousand reasons." Rebel replied "it was closer to go back to you than fight through, i had to choose between two valuable people, what you can practically offer to the Alliance…"

"You thought all that in a few seconds?" Kaidan, for all the seriousness and emotions of his questions, couldn't keep admiration from his voice.

"There was more: had to protect the nuke, had to protect Normandy. Wanted to get as many out alive as possible but… with so many Salarian already dead it was almost hopeless. "

She exhaled " So I trusted Ash to hold the ground, to be the hero. I was hoping…wanting… everyone…"

Kaidan knew Rebel Shepard would never show this side to anyone else.

" Kaidan. Work aside, military issues, practical issues aside: if it had only been about me I would still have saved you."

"Reb…" he sighed, he now knew that it had been a layered calculated choice. Yet there was something else to what she was saying too. Another reason for being here in the dark.

"When I first met you, I was fifteen." She had another bottle in her hand, but he knew it was not destined to join the other one just yet.

"I was a wrecked kid." He said quietly "you gave me time when no one else was willing to."

"You know why my mom kept me with her? Technically she shouldn't have." Reb gave a short laugh as her hand glowed purple as her biotics pushed the bottle slowly across the floor.

"She kept you safe." Kaidan noted, BaAt would have grabbed someone like Rebel for sure.

"She did." Rebel sighed as she carefully placed the bottle of alcohol out of sight on the bulkhead then glanced at Kaidan "Don't tell anyone my hiding spot."

Out of everything in their day a shared secret hiding spot actually brought a half smile to his face.

"Will we be okay Kaidan?" She asked after a moment, finally turning on the light. He was shocked to discover Rebels tear stained, pale pinched face staring at him.

"Rebel have you eaten since we got back?"

"I didn't think of it… my mind has been on how to explain to you…" she looked down " you should never carry the weight of a fellow soldier's death like that. It was my decision."

"Ok. I get that. I'm not used to this…this whole tour has been…" Kaidan sat down next to Rebel with a sigh, handing her a meal bar from the desk as he did so.

"No guidebooks for the end of the galaxy." Rebel said ruefully "I keep hoping for clues but we are making it up as we go along and Kaidan…." She unwrapped the bar and grimaced at the taste.

"We will do our best." Kaidan replied with a half nod in the vague direction of Virmire "Honor what Ash and the rest died for."

"Exactly." There was a long silence as Rebel finished the food, a little more colour returning to her face. "Kaidan, completely off the record, thankyou for saving me from my self wallowing."

"Of course. You… that is, I didn't come to see you with that in mind, I sort of figured we could um wallow together?" Kaidan gave her a disarming grin, he had come to check on her but at the same time to make sure she hadn't chosen him because there was more to their relationship.

"You were worried that I had chosen based on my heart and not on my head. Honestly I double checked myself, I didn't want that to sit on you either." Rebel replied as if she could read his thoughts "Does it matter that I'm so damn grateful you are here?" Rebel placed her hand on Kaidan's arm.

"Rebel."

"I know, it's not done yet, but Kaidan at some point we will walk through this tunnel, and my answer will be the same: I chose you."

[theoriginalladya]

I was fortunate enough to be paired up with @lyrishadow on her 2021 MEBB story, Fool's Gold, for which I made a playlist of songs. I had a lot of fun putting the list together! The songs I chose are all by Two Steps From Hell, Thomas Bergersen, and Nick Phoenix and I think they match up with the story very nicely! Her story can be found here on AO3.

The playlist can be found in two places: on YouTube here, and on Spotify here. Enjoy!

Playlist songs:

A Call To Arms

Emerald Princess

Master of Shadows

All is Hell that Ends Well

Earth Rising

Dark Harbor

Heart

Prelude to a Nightmare

Corruption

Love & Loss

Mercy in Darkness

The End is the Beginning

Fill My Heart

United We Stand - Divided We Fall

Destiny of Mankind

[swtorpadawan]

For Nosy OC ask: 😔 something they’d change about themselves

For your pet/fav OC

uncomfortably nosy questions

Thanks for the asks, @lyrishadow !

😔 something they’d change about themselves

Corellan doesn't usually linger too much on his shortcomings. 'Jedi conditioning' does have its advantages in things like that.

He is acutely aware that his childhood was rather sheltered, even by Jedi standards. The Uphrades enclave is remote, and while he was very well educated, he loses a lot of nuance. So he leans on more worldly people like Kira and his crew in a lot of social situations.

That changes when he takes command of the Alliance. Its a huge, diverse group, coming from many cultures. He worries he's a fraud, and that people will see right through him.

Oddly, only a few people actually do this and figure out how much he's putting up a front. Senya being one, Gault another.

His life becomes healthier when he gets over all of that.

Thanks again for the ask!

[thelastenvoyyy]

Oc Asks!! for JETT JHAZAR no. 50 What is your OC’s most memorable kiss? and 37. Describe or post a picture of what your OC’s and their partner’s engagement rings would look like. (happen to adore Jett and Theron so yeah)

50. What is your OC’s most memorable kiss?

To them, every kiss is memorable and precious, seeing as their working lives prevents them from seeing each other as much as they would like. But the one that stands out to most for Jett is the very first time. It was in Theron’s own apartment. 

They had a bit to drink and the conversation turned to Cathar mating rituals. Stirred by this, Jett enacted on the hormones rampaging through his body by throwing caution to the wind and planting a kiss squarely on Theron’s lips. Though Theron was taken aback, he returned it in kind, and despite the exchange being rather awkward it became much more loving and it led to them making love to each other for the first time. 

For Theron, their most memorable kiss is the one succeeding their agreement to pursue a relationship despite the many obstacles that stood in their way. It led to them returning to Theron’s quarters where they let go of all their worries and just let themselves be with one another. 

If you want to read about these in more detail, feel free to read Mastery, my novel-length fanfic about these two dorks. You can read it on Ao3 [x]

37. Describe or post a picture of what your OC’s and their partner’s

Well, as both would be “married” by a Cathar union, the concept of wedding rings doesn’t exactly apply as that’s a very human construct. However, if they were to have wedding rings, they would be large and chunky bands made of metal, wood, and stone. Something like this:

Probably would be more practical to have discreet rings so people wouldn’t immediately notice their marriage but these two don’t do half-measures. :’D

[badsithnocookie]

lyrishadow replied to your post: “how do you get to level 70 as a sorc heal and not figure out how to...”:

Also because they *give* levels to people (via the upgrade things) and people will always que for what seems good at the time. I wonder if they were even strictly heals?

well, they were queued/marked in the party as heals. i didn’t think to look at the gear, though. and i seem to vaguely recall they added some thing where you get extra reward for queueing as an in-demand spec? but i guess most people figure lol, vet fps, what are tactics, who gives a shit

but like. even so, sorc gets a res skill regardless of their spec, yanno? it’s like. do you even know how to play your class?

shitty group finder pugs are shitty. gods, i did not miss this aspect of the game

[angstmongertina]

@lyrishadow replied to your post “@lyrishadow replied to your post “@lyrishadow replied to your post ...”

707 in all stages.. I relate to. Jumin I can easily diagnose his attachment disorder... and I know what pushing aside emotions does...still he's a little freaky but also sexy? I feel bad for Zen too so will likely replay his route, save hour glasses for Vs route. I got hubby to play it too so I can talk about it without a blank stare.

Oh, have you already played Seven’s route? I’m not sure the order you played everything lol.

H O N E S T L Y, the first time I played Jumin’s route, I didn’t like him very much, especially coming to it off of Jaehee’s route. But the more I play it, the more I like it? And yeah, I love his voice. Also he rocks his suits. :P

Yeah, I find that it’s totally possible to get V’s route without paying but it does require replaying the routes a few times. (And don’t forget to collect the free hourglasses from inviting guests!) Also.... let me know when you start V’s route. I need more people to cry to about my precious sunshine blueberry.

Ahahaha, nice! None of my IRL friends played it when I started, so I simply had to bother my friends on tumblr who got me into it instead. Of course, they’ve more or less moved on and I’m still deep in this hell so... :P

[depizan]

lyrishadow replied to your post “[[MOR] As a side note: why are there weird secret passages all over...”

I think, just a guess but SIS agent and Coruscant security is not telling us the whole picture. We think we do good but bad happens? The fact that security is lazy erm too scared to go into Justicar territory... is just a thing. remember we are meant to be "heroes" of the Republic or at the very least heros in training. The inference was i thought that it was a stolen disk (we had it, they took it... ah we need it back) that no-one cared about.

my reply was too long lol anyhow there are a bunch of quests where I secretly wish you could say "no, go do it yourself" The one going after his wife, (Mal? Nautolan dude) and the whole ownership of wife thing.. we cant tell him to go get stuffed, we can say hes a bad person but other than that...

Hm, true, there’s no reason to take any of the quest givers as utterly truthful. And plenty of reason to take what they say with a grain of salt. (Whether or not the game means for us to view them that way.)

(Though the heroes of the Republic thing goes sideways with the game’s decision to have Smuggler as one of our class options. With Jedi and Troopers, you’re pretty visibly a “hero of the Republic” and it’s not a stretch at all that Coruscant security, the SIS, or even just random people might flag down a Jedi or uniformed Republic military person for help. Where it becomes a stretch is when they’re doing the same with a random criminal. I can’t complain too much, since that logic - canon gap certainly inspired my fic, but it is a bit headscratchy.)

And, yeah, some of the quests could have a bit more satisfying dialogue options.

[senseandaccountability]

lyrishadow replied to your post “Finally finished the ME trilogy again last night and it was grand....”

Its when you need to replay the game to get that certain part so you don't comepletely change the script to something unrecogniseable.

Exactly! And I really don’t like letting my fic remain unfinished for so long that this needs to happen in the first place, but there you go. :) Bonus is usually that I keep coming up with MORE things to write about, often unrelated at that.