Hey, ¿did y’all know that mixing up pronouns can be (not always but possibly) a sign of autism?
I was actually trying to research a different language based topic with sadly no professional studies, when I stumbled across a page saying autistic people mix up pronouns, so I opened another tab to serach about it.
According to the National Institutes Of Health (.gov), a common language struggle (they call it impairment) of autistic people (especially children) is “reversal” of pronouns. Their given example is a kid saying “You want milk” instead of “I want milk”, but this applies to gendered pronouns as well. It’s possible to be meaning to say “he” and say “she”, or vice versa, or some other mix up of pronouns for those who use ancient ones, neo ones, &/or they/them.
So what this means is, sometimes autistic people will misgender themselves, their dog, their loved ones, their friends....not on purpose but because we are disabled and language gets all jumbled.
I thought I was just a bad person, even though I most often misgender myself. Turns out I’m just disabled. 😅
That doesn’t mean it isn’t worth an apology and self-correction (‘sorry, I mean [he/she/they/etc. (the actually correct one(s))], not [he/she (the incorrect one)]’, ‘whoops, [he/she/they/etc. (the correct one(s))]’, etc.; be cautious to not over-apologize / beg forgiveness). But it does mean that maybe it’s worth being patient and giving people the benefit of the doubt, unless it becomes a pattern of disrespect.
So the next time you catch yourself saying she when you meant he or they (or a neo/ancient alternative), or he when you meant she or they (or a neo/ancient alternative), don’t beat yourself up for being disabled. Correct yourself, apologize, & move on.
And for our LGBT+ brothers, sisters, and siblings, please be patient with us when we mess up. You deserve respect but so do we. (/sincere, gentle)
~Nico
